Saturday Seven Up

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This week 251,530 visitors visited 611,702 times viewing 1,005,094 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

Sunny Days Ahead For Scrapbook

This news will tickle readers as much as it amused Guido. Guess who is going to help run the part-time Labour attack blog Political Scrapbook? Kingston University’s “journalist in residence”, Sunny Hundal, is making a comeback to the blogosphere. A Scrapbook spokesman says:

“Political Scrapbook is expanding and Sunny has joined us as a contributing editor.  We will be bringing on more writers over the coming months as we grow our offer.”

Sunny will offer Scrapbook such stunning insights as Chris Huhne being innocent:

Hopefully this means the lazy socialists will manage more than a couple of posts a week…

On Comments & Readership

TRAFFIC-GROWTH

Back in 2009, when Guido was a one man blog, the site generated just over 9 million page views. With 3 bloggers in the following 2010 election year the site generated just short of 19 million hits. In the 2015 election year the site got just short of 35 million hits from over 7 million unique users. We’re on trend to reach 10 million users and 50 million hits by 2020…

Unlike most of our digital rivals we don’t have any debts or hordes of hungry venture capitalists to placate. Nor are we subsidised by billionaires or union barons. We are growing organically rather than going for a profitless land-grab…

This is a good time to update readers on our periodical jihad against toxic, boring repetitive comments from people to whom you would not want to be sat next to in a pub. We want the comments to be like a fun pub with a good atmosphere and friendly banter. Last year we introduced Disqus comment registration and we were told – by the same boring, repetitive comment makers – that it would be the end of the site. Traffic rose. We blocked 20 toxic trolls last month and it made little difference to even the number of comments received, we still had 81,772 comments. We warned toxic trolls they were in danger of getting blocked and we blocked them for repeat offences. That is our arbitrary policy.

commentsThey can of course come back if they make the effort of using a combination of new email addresses and proxy servers. Guido has only one question: why bother? There is a website that is almost entirely focused on immigration and Islam – the issues that motivate comment bores most. 2014’sIslamophobe of the Year“, Raheem Kassam, confirms that he has no intention of blocking anyone. Breitbart is the place for you to bang on repetitively in a forum that welcomes you. Guido asked Raheem did he welcome our banned comment makers? He replied:

“Bring me your (sick and) tired, your poor (grammar), your angry masses, yearning to be free (to say what they want).”

Go where you are appreciated. Bye, bye! 

Sunday Service

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After some 150 columns and articles co-conspirators will have noticed that there was no Guido Sun on Sunday column this week. After 3 years our tabloid toil has come to to an end…

We enjoyed the challenge of writing a very different product for a mass market tabloid audience, though we won’t miss the deadline stress of sweating over our column all day Friday. The discipline of having to write tight, straight-to-the-point copy is tough. It is a cliche that it would be easy for The Sun’s journalists to produce The Times, whereas the writers of the “Thunderers” would find it much harder to successfully do “Sun Says”. That is Guido’s view having written both…

Order-Order.com is expanding in terms of both output and staff numbers, as ever our efforts are focused on breaking more news on the site first. We also have a few surprises in store for readers. Our winning formula of Westminster tittle-tattle, gossip and hard news still means that: You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

Review of 2015: A Long and Winding Roadtrip

2015 has been a record-breaking traffic year for Guido, with over 35 million visits to the site in this election year. The top ten traffic posts published in the last 12 months were:

  1. BBC: Bring Back Clarkson Petition
  2. Stig in a Tank Live on Telly
  3. Read Full James Blunt Takedown of Chris Bryant
  4. #BringBackClarkson Hits Half A Million Signatures
  5. Guardian ‘Posh’ Whinge Backfires
  6. BBC Smear of Deaf Tory MP Goes Viral
  7. Peter Oborne Quits Telegraph
  8. #EverydaySexualSegregation
  9. Anti-Austerity Protesters Turn on Russell Brand
  10. Tax Dodge Shame of Labour Election Star

Here are some of our favourite stories of the the past year:

March saw Guido’s first foray into clicktivism following Jeremy Clarkson’s suspension by the BBC. Our petition to “Bring Back Clarkson” was the fastest-growing ever in the UK, received over 1 million signatures and was delivered to Broadcasting House in a tank by “the Stig”He still owes us lunch.

CORBYN2020

The Tory election win and Jeremy Corbyn’s revolution in the Labour Party were the joint surprises of the year. Guido readers learnt all about Jezza’s invitation to terrorists, defence of dictators, views on ISIS, the abusive tweets of his top aide and the most brutal PLP meeting of the year. Not to mention Stop the War’s greatest hits and Guido’s scoop on Caroline Lucas’ dramatic resignation. Will Jez still be in charge this time next year?

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It wasn’t clear sailing for the Tories after winning a majority, with the party rapidly engulfed in a bullying scandal. Guido brought you a string of exclusives about the row, including this unforgettable infographicWhich quickly became the subject of water-cooler gossip among Tory MPs trying to fill in the blanks. 

Happy New Year, and roll on the referendum…

9 Stories Grayling Wants to Keep Secret

The Tory mask has slipped on Freedom of Information reform, as Chris Grayling confirms he wants to ban journalists from using FoI to hold the government to account. Grayling chillingly told the House:

“The Freedom of Information Act is something this government is committed to but we want to make sure it works well and fairly. It cannot be abused. It cannot be misused. It is on occasions misused by those who use it effectively as a research tool to generate stories for the media. That isn’t acceptable.”

Eh? The whole point of FoI is so journalists can use it “as a research tool” to expose government waste and wrongdoing…

Here are just a few recent stories that would not have appeared on Guido if Grayling had his way:

Openly targeting journalists who use FoI “effectively as a research tool” is a concerning attack on press freedom…

Euro-Guido Launched

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Some of the more eagle-eyed co-conspirators will have noticed a blue star haloed Guido has appeared on the menu bar, Euro-Guido will cover all the developments in the referendum campaign as well as Brussels goings on. The Euro-News list will be updated through out the day with links to European stories from around the web that you may have missed. Many co-conspirators will be terrifically disappointed to see the yellow news ticker has also disappeared….

Stephen Tall’s Naked Streak Down Whitehall

Fair play to LibDem blogger Stephen Tall, who lost his bet on how many seats his party would get at the election and has honoured his promise to streak down Whitehall naked:

All for a good cause, readers can donate here.

Now, about that Dan Hodges

Below the Line Comments Update

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Guido went to a system of registration for comment makers last December, above are the numbers for last month (August), comments are still averaging around some 50,000 a month. We’re slowly, when we have time, permanently banning the most […]

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Silly Season News

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Guido will be halving the blog’s output for silly season, there will still be the daily Guidogram email (order-order.com/subscribe). In the unlikely event anything significant happens subscribers will know by tea-time.  Sign up for free.

Oh and […]

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Dorries Stalker Faces Ruin After High Court Flop

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Internet loony Tim Ireland is facing a £150,000 legal bill after the High Court threw out his petition to have Nadine Dorries’ election in Mid-Bedfordshire voided.

According to the BBC: “Judges threw out case as Ireland was late filing […]

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Senior LibDem Demands Resurrection of Charlie Kennedy

A somewhat unfortunate blogpost went up on the LibDemFuture site yesterday written by Gareth Epps, a former parliamentary candidate who sits on his party’s federal policy committee. Among Epps’ musings about the future direction of the LibDems, published by the […]

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Quote of the Day

The Donald asks what America wants from a President…

“I spent less, I won the most. Isn’t that what you want from your President for a little time?”

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KNIGHTLY LOSS OF BRITISH INFLUENCE KNIGHTLY LOSS OF BRITISH INFLUENCE
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CAT SMITH EXPENSES COVER UP CAT SMITH EXPENSES COVER UP
ETHNIC MINORITY BRITS BACK BREXIT ETHNIC MINORITY BRITS BACK BREXIT
REMAIN TAKES PROJECT FEAR TO CHURCH REMAIN TAKES PROJECT FEAR TO CHURCH
SOUBRY’S BIG NISSAN-DERSTANDING SOUBRY’S BIG NISSAN-DERSTANDING
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POLICE INVESTIGATING TESSA MUNT ELECTION EXPENSES POLICE INVESTIGATING TESSA MUNT ELECTION EXPENSES
LEAVE.EU ON HOOK FOR £500,000 BREXIT GIG LEAVE.EU ON HOOK FOR £500,000 BREXIT GIG
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“Fat Cats For EU” “Fat Cats For EU”
“CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS “CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS
CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL
CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS