March kicked off with one of Guido’s favourite new series: AirPods-gate. Plenty of noise was made over Angela Rayner billing the taxpayer for her £249 AirPods Pro (which she later lost), so Guido took it on himself to investigate other MPs splurging public cash on Apple products. Inevitably, Rayner was in good company: Matt Hancock had done the same thing, as had Fabian Hamilton – who racked up over £4000 on his tech expenses – and Peter Bone, who demonstrated his fiscal prudence by buying the £159 entry-level models. Presumably he doesn’t sit on as many video calls as Angela Rayner, who insisted her more expensive AirPods were necessary for all that intense Zooming.
Lockdown rules loosened slightly in two stages, with schools reopened on the 8th, and the rule of six reintroduced for outside gatherings on the 29th. Guido remained unable to get a pint. The vaccine rollout continued in earnest, with the most vulnerable groups covered with their first jabs by the start of the month.
One of the biggest stories of March arrived in the first week, when Piers Morgan stormed off the GMB set after an explosive row over Oprah’s interview with Harry and Meghan. Morgan then quit the show permanently for refusing to give an on-air apology to Meghan at the behest of ITV bosses – never to be heard from again…
Up in Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon survived a vote of no confidence in the wake of the Salmond scandal, even though Holyrood’s Harassment Committee concluded she’d misled them in a “potential breach of the ministerial code”. She then sent her lawyers after Guido and The Spectator for daring to report the truth about the Crown Office’s redactions of Salmond’s evidence. Guido ignored them, and hasn’t heard from them since.
Guido was the first to publish the fact that Mike Hill, MP for Hartlepool, had resigned over sexual assault allegations. He had in fact approached Labour about the rumour the previous night, though later had it confirmed he was so on the ball he hadn’t managed to tell the party’s shadow chief whip. Guido then also revealed Labour’s plan for a one-person shortlist stitch-up – a decision that would go on to haunt them for the rest of the campaign…
Honourable mentions:
February started with the sad news that Captain Sir Tom Moore had died after testing positive for Covid while in hospital. Having become a national treasure during the pandemic, news of Sir Tom’s passing spread fast… though not fast enough to reach Conservative MP Geoffrey Clifton-Brown, who announced to the Tory WhatsApp chat “Let’s hope Sir Tom recovers well“ one hour and thirty-two minutes after Moore’s family announced his death. It fell to Pauline Latham to give Clifton-Brown the news…
Meanwhile, with the country back under house arrest while jabs went into arms, other pressing matters rose to the fore, as Sadiq Khan revealed the details of his £247,000 “Commission for Diversity in the Public Realm”. The commission, which was set to expunge London of all statues and street names containing any tenuous “links” to slavery, soon created headaches for Khan when Guido dug out footage of commission member Toyin Agbetu yelling at the Queen and threatening to punch security as he was thrown out. The story would become Guido’s second most read of the year, and Sadiq would later sack Agbetu for antisemitism.
Even with Agbetu gone, Labour continued to make a meal of the debate, as Sir Keir himself decided to effectively back the removal of statues by claiming “if I was living in a community, I probably would like to express a view one way or the other. And I think that’s not a bad thing.” He did, at least, acknowledge that the whole debate wasn’t really a “top priority” in the context of a deadly pandemic…
North of the border, the civil war between Nicola Sturgeon and Alex Salmond began to heat up. Sturgeon faced two inquiries over her handling of the sexual assault allegations against Salmond; one on a potential breach of the Ministerial Code, and another on whether her government had mishandled the complaints. When Guido reported on the Crown Office’s attempts to protect Sturgeon by redacting parts of Salmond’s evidence, Sturgeon’s censors started chasing him too…
In Westminster, Boris ended the month with the promise of brighter days ahead by unveiling England’s unlocking roadmap: “a cautious, but irreversible roadmap to freedom” which would see all restrictions lifted by the 21st June. Step 1A, scheduled for 8th March, would reopen schools, and allow two people the luxurious liberty of being able to enjoy coffee on a park bench…
Honourable mentions:
Soaring Covid cases across the country meant 2021 started on a dour note: Christmas had already been cancelled for the South East, New Year’s Eve celebrations were subdued, and with most of the UK already under strict Covid rules (remember ‘Tiers’?), it was only a matter of time before everyone was housebound once again. On January 4, 24 hours after declaring primary schools “safe“, Boris announced England’s third nation-wide lockdown. The “one huge difference” this time, however, was the vaccine programme…
Time was of the essence. Fortunately, having withdrawn from the European Medicines Agency (EMA), Britain had signed a delivery order with AstraZeneca three months ahead of Europe, so the jab campaign roared into action. This unambiguously good news still led to plenty of political embarrassments: Sir Keir attempted to rewrite history over his support of the EMA, Labour spent the whole month calling for things the government had already committed to, and the EU became so embittered by the glacial pace of its own vaccine rollout that it decided to declare war on AstraZeneca. A ludicrous row in which von der Leyen insisted the EU was entitled to a share of the AZ doses manufactured in the UK – a claim which was completely undermined by the bloc’s own signed agreement with the manufacturer…
The government, meanwhile, still made gaffes of its own. Guido exclusively revealed how Priti Patel broke Cabinet collective responsibility by telling Tory supporters on a Zoom call that she’d privately pushed to close the borders much earlier in the pandemic, confirming rumours that she’d clashed with Boris over his decision to keep them open. It wouldn’t be the only time Priti would make headlines over border policy this year…
Over in the US, Donald Trump spent the last days of his presidency pretending he’d won the 2020 election, and encouraged thousands of his supporters to march on Congress as it formalised Biden’s victory. Five people died, a shirtless man dressed as a viking sat in Mike Pence’s chair, and the result was still certified anyway. Biden was sworn in on 20th January.
Honourable mentions:
- Piers Morgan Did Not Follow the Government’s Tier 3 Advice When He Went on Christmas Caribbean Holiday
- YouTube Terminates talkRADIO’s Channel Following Lockdown Criticism
- Labour Accidentally Sends Entire Email Chain to Journalists Describing Own Analysis as Confusing
- German Media: “Brexit-Boris Laid the Foundation for Vaccination Success”
As 2021 comes to a close, Guido’s going to indulge in some reflections on the year just gone. As co-conspirators stay tuned for the usual month-by-month story round-ups, it’s time to count down this year’s most-watched stories. In reverse order, the most popular were…
5. Extinction Rebellion Lay Bare the Naked Reality of Climate Change
Guido can’t fathom why this one proved so popular. He even went on to get an interview with the activist. Certainly the eco-terrorist group’s most popular activist to ever grace the site, as proven by her total four articles…
4. Drakeford Considers Temporary Curfew for Men
Unfortunately for Welsh Men, Drakeford did end up bring in curfews this year, as well as for women with his never-ending lockdown loving…
3. Jon Ashworth Sends Condolences to the Family of the Liverpool Taxi Passenger
It wouldn’t be a Guido annual review without an embarrassing recording of Jon Ashworth…
2. Khan’s Statue Advisor Yells at Queen and Threatens to Punch Security
1. Rayner’s Mauling By Mordaunt
An incredible article view performance for a non-cabinet minister. While Penny had other top moments in the last 12 months, Angie’s year was less successful. Guido followed up on Penny’s mauling, which proved this year’s most-read article full stop, with a fact check ruling she correctly identified Rayner’s sources of funding. Unfortunately for the government, Labour’s push on Sleaze eventually paid polling dividends…
Our articles were read over 61 million times in 2020 and these seven stories were the most read:
#1 SS Nazi Uniform Shame of Piers Morgan
No doubt this will be a bitter-sweet victory for Piers. It was number one because it was suppressed, follow-ups didn’t run in News UK’s titles because he is a protected man there, it didn’t run in Associated’s titles because he is a Daily Mail columnist and it didn’t run in The Daily Mirror because he is a former editor. When this was the only place you could see the picture of Britain’s #1 hypocrite, it was always going to be popular.
#2 Campbell Pictures Himself Breaking Lockdown Social Distancing Rules
Another egoistic character who will be secretly pleased to have charted. It will make him feel still relevant.
#3 Panorama’s PPE Investigation Was Party Political Broadcast
An exclusive that led to the intervention of the Culture Secretary and was condemned by the Health Secretary, eventually the BBC conceded that perhaps a Panorama documentary that took evidence from communists, trade unionists and Labour Party activists without disclosing their affiliations might be just a teensy weensy bit misleading.
#4 Kay Burley’s Swanky Star Studded Sixtieth
One of Media Guido’s most immediately impactful stories of 2020. Once again we broke the story which The Sun and The Daily Mail declined to break for some reason. Media Guido covers the stories the media doesn’t want to cover…
At the height of the statues-must-fall craze It turned out that The Guardian was historically funded from the profits of the slave trade. After Guido brought to light The Guardian’s past links to slavery in the midst of the Black Lives Matter protests, the Scott Trust – the owner of The Guardian – commissioned independent researchers to look into the paper’s historical connections to the slave trade. Guido hopes it won’t be a whitewash…
#6 Banks Spanks Electoral Commission
A good news story that saw Arron Banks and Liz Bilney, the CEO of Leave.EU, follow in the footsteps of Darren Grimes by winning in the High Court against the Electoral Commission. All that nonsense about Russians? Nyet.
#7 Number 10’s Message to Biden Originally Congratulated Trump
Strange one, unbelievable, yet true. This story, like so many others, got worldwide follow-up in the media.
You are either in front of Guido, or you’re behind…
December started with a classic story. Kay Burley and Sky News colleagues had broken multiple Tier 2 rules for her sixtieth birthday party. Her ‘bog standard’ apology that evening left Guido with more questions than answers. It led to three Sky presenters being taken off air. Later it was revealed that Kay Burley and Beth Rigby had been handed a six month and three month suspension apiece…
December was also the month when the EU started to become jealous of the UK. Perhaps the first of many. German press slammed the bloc‘s sluggish common vaccination programme, as the first German was vaccinated… in the UK. The UK’s rollout of an approved vaccine was the first in the world, and produced an emotional reaction from the Health Secretary.
Elsewhere, increasingly the darling of the Tory grassroots, Liz Truss gave a barnstorming equalities speech. Swathes of ‘politically contentious’ material was removed from it when uploaded to the Government website, so Guido helpfully published them as a ‘best bits’ of the speech.
In the Commons, Chris Bryant eventually apologised for his sweary standoff with the Speaker, and as ever an SNP MP pulled an attention grabbing stunt. As for the Lords, some Brexit heroes were announced to be soon joining its ranks, including Dan Hannan and Syed Kamall. On the benches opposite, in accepting a peerage, Starmer aide and former Darlington MP Jenny Chapman U-turned on her aim of winning back her red wall seat…
After Christmas was cancelled for most southerners, the Government revealed a present after all. The Brexit trade deal was done at the last minute. Guido revealed the first official summary of the deal, days before the full text was finally published. Nigel Farage backed it, and the ERG’s star chamber approved it as sovereignty compliant. The year concluded yesterday with the historic passage of the new UK-EU FTA. Readers particularly enjoyed the highlights of Michael Gove’s barnstorming debate summation.
Guido will be popping the champagne English Sparkling Wine corks an hour earlier than usual this evening. While 2020 ends at midnight, 28 years of EU control ends at 23:00…
