Over two entire years – exactly 750 days – have passed since the Labour Party suspended John Bercow’s membership on an “administrative basis” pending an investigation into his bullying. On the same day, Bercow was banned from ever holding a Parliamentary pass after an independent panel upheld the findings of Kathryn Stone, having found him guilty of 21 out of 35 complaints over five years. The panel published a full 89-page review of their probe, revealing Bercow threw phones at staff, displayed “undermining behaviour”, and “lied extensively to try and avoid the damning reality of the truth”.

This report seems not to be compelling enough for Labour. Guido understands the party’s investigation is still ongoing. Why they still haven’t reached a final decision when the “serial bully” can’t even set foot on the parliamentary estate is a mystery. Andy McDonald was welcomed back to the party after only a few months of investigation…

Rest assured, when and if Labour finally reach a judgement, Guido will be the first to report it. As one loyal co-conspirator once said…

If you want to see Bercow in person you’ll have to cough up £188 to watch him talk in Wales about “his vision for the future” at a trendy festival in May. You can still hire him on Cameo, where he claims his age is 33. At least he’s dropped his prices from £92 to £87 since last year. The price mechanism at work…

John Bercow’s efforts to revive his career after a lifelong ban from Parliament continue in earnest. The former Speaker-turned-Cameo star has now turned his hand to showbiz, and is joining series two of the US Show The Traitors. For those unfamiliar, apparently it is a show where the ‘celebrity’ – a loose term in this context – cast of ‘traitors’ work together to eliminate other contestants, known as the “Faithful”, who in turn are tasked with “discovering and banishing the Traitors by voting them out“. Guido’s unsure how John will perform here. On the one hand, he will make an excellent traitor. On the other, it is something of a popularity contest…

Labour seem to be beefing up their crackdown on scandal-ridden candidates, as the party has launched a safeguarding hiring spree. The party is advertising for a safeguarding manager and safeguarding officer – with both roles coming with responsibility over safeguarding investigations. The new hires will have quite a job on their hands…

There are currently a handful of Labour MPs who have lost the whip, pending investigation, and some of these have dragged on for well over a year. This is without mentioning John Bercow, whose Labour fate has hung in the balance for over 18 months. Looks like they can use all the help they can get.
Co-conspirators up for the challenge can find the details here.

A whole year has passed since Labour suspended former Chief Whip Nick Brown without a public explanation. Since then, while Nick continues to collect his £86,584 salary, the party has kept schtum on the nature of the complaint brought him down. An internal investigation was launched, as always, and it’s been kicked into the long grass. Today Labour said they weren’t going to get into individual cases. A full year to investigate a ‘serious complaint’ with no further updates, and no further action.

Nick isn’t the only figure who’s had their file kicked into the long grass by Labour’s complaints department: in two days, it will have been eighteen months since the party began investigating John Bercow. In the time of that investigation, Neil Coyle regained the whip and Rupa Huq first lost it, then had it restored. It’s almost like the party doesn’t want a resolution…

The Battersea Park Half Marathon is just eight weeks away, so athletic co-conspirators don’t have long to book their place. To encourage sign-ups, the organisers are running an aggressive marketing campaign across social media. For some reason, the man they’ve used as a model of health, stamina, and fitness is… John Bercow. 

“Do you want more of your ads to be like this one?” Not really. To be fair, anyone stuck next to Bercow in a half-marathon would run as fast as possible…

An entire year has passed since the Labour Party suspended John Bercow’s membership on an “administrative basis” pending an investigation into his bullying. On the same day, Bercow was banned from ever holding a Parliamentary pass after an independent panel upheld the findings of Kathryn Stone, having found him guilty of 21 out of 35 complaints over five years. The panel published a full 89-page review of their probe, revealing Bercow threw phones at staff, displayed “undermining behaviour”, and “lied extensively to try and avoid the damning reality of the truth”.

This report is, for some reason, not quite compelling enough for Labour. This morning, Guido asked for an update on the party’s own incredibly forensic probe: it’s still ongoing. Quite why they still haven’t reached a final decision when the “serial bully” can’t even set foot on the parliamentary estate is a mystery. Rupa Huq was let back in last week, despite her investigation lasting half the time…

Rest assured, when and if Labour finally reach a judgement, Guido will be the first to report it. As one loyal co-conspirator once said…

N.B.: You can still hire him as your dancing monkey over at Cameo, although cost of living pressures mean he’s now raised his price from a mere £82.50 to £94…