EU President: Bercow Working with me to Block No Deal

Addressing the EU Parliament, it’s President, David Sassoli, let slip that he is now bypassing the UK Government and talking directly to Bercow about how to delay Brexit. Bercow has always claimed he isn’t a Remainer and just wants the Commons to have its say – according to Sassoli, Bercow is actively lobbying against No Deal behind the scenes…

Upon hearing this startling claim, Brexit Party MEP Richard Tice tried asking an urgent question on what authority Bercow and Sassoli had to have said discussions, an attempt that was quickly quashed by the Parliament’s President. To talk so openly about his anti-democratic machinations really is Sosilly…

Parliament Prorogued Without a Bercow Tantrum

There were incredible scenes in Parliament last night, as the prorogation ceremony ran without a hitch; totally devoid of any singing from Labour MPs and without a tantrum from Bercow. Watch the footage above while we wait for Baroness Hale to decide whether this one’s ok or not…

Peter Bone’s Generous Offer to Bercow

Speaker Bercow is suffering from a very hoarse voice, and seemingly there is no medicament that will help him out. Peter Bone popped up with a helpful suggestion that to rest his voice perhaps the Speaker should take some time off, particularly when it comes to debates regarding the European Union. Sadly for everyone involved, the Speaker declined Bone’s kind suggestion…

Boris on Bercow Being Forced to Eat Testicle

Andrea Leadsom looked like she particularly enjoyed that one…

McDonnell Granted Urgent Question on Hedge Funds Shorting No Deal

John Bercow is allowing remainers to indulge further in their comprehensively debunked conspiracy theory that the PM is being backed by “speculators who have bet billions on a hard Brexit” – a falsehood pushed by former chancellor Philip Hammond earlier this week and now leapt on by the Labour party…

It has just been announced that Bercow has accepted an urgent question from John McDonnell on ‘short positions taken against the pound in the lead up to a possible no-deal Brexit’. You can read in detail here why the conspiracy doesn’t stack up…

Now Bercow has set a precedent, Guido awaits with excitement further UQs on other conspiracy theories, including whether the moon is made of cheese, and whether DCMS are aware that Michael Jackson is in fact still alive…

UPDATE: Two of McDonnell’s former advisors have now debunked the conspiracy theory – namely James Mills and James Meadway…

Meadway also described it as “an absurd conspiracy theory that the former Chancellor should know better than to promote”. Not holding his punches…

Bercow Breaks Another Rule

Bercow breaking the rules of Parliament has become a daily occurrence, and Guido has now been informed that Bercow has gone to the lengths of bending the laws of time and granting Urgent Questions even if they were submitted after the deadline. Is he auditioning for a new role in Dr Who when he leaves Parliament..?

Jess Phillips’ Urgent Question for Boris to make a statement ‘reflecting on his language and his role as the PM to create a safe environment both in the country and in our Parliament‘ was submitted after the 8.15am deadline and yet Bercow still granted it. Whilst this bending of Commons’ rules will be seen as unacceptable, Guido is sure readers will appreciate the irony of Jess ‘knife Corbyn in the front’ Phillips lecturing on moderate language…

Nine Year Old Enters Race To Replace Bercow

News has come to light that a very short man, perhaps prone to temper and who enjoys ignoring the advice of his elders is interested in running to be the next speaker of the Commons. It’s not John Bercow who plans on standing again, however, but a nine-year-old constituent of Michelle Donelan’s who received a letter from Oscar today asking to be made Speaker. In response, Michelle wrote, “I think it’s great that Oscar has taken such a keen interest in politics… should we give him a trial?”.

Already, the keen kid has his second MP backer, Guido can reveal, as Andrew Bridgen tells us that Oscar’s appointment “would be a definite improvement, and even a nine-year-old can spot it!”

Sadly for Oscar, only MPs can become Speaker and since The Representation of the People Act 1969 only people ages 18 and above can stand as MPs, so Guido can’t add Oscar to our Speaker runners and riders list. Although there is technically nothing stopping him from becoming ennobled and becoming Lords Speaker…

Bercow Compares No Deal Brexit to ‘Robbing a Bank’

John Bercow delivered a highly politically charged speech at last night’s Bingham Lecture, particularly hitting out at Brexiteers, and ignoring his own flagrant disregard for the constitution. The supposedly impartial speaker took the opportunity to declare that he supports written constitution, and even ad-libbed from his script to actually compare the Prime Minister to a knife-wielding street gang member. A new Speaker can’t come soon enough…

John Bercow to Stand Down

In perhaps the best news for Brexiteers since Boris became PM, the constitution-wrecker-in-chief, John Bercow has announced he will be standing down as speaker and an MP at the next election, following news the Tories were planning on fielding a candidate against him…

If an election passes tonight, he’ll stand down immediately. If not he’ll hang up his golden robes on the 31st October.

The man who’s done more than anyone to up-end Britain’s political institutions to suit his own aims announced his intention in the Commons just now via a personal statement, watched on by his wife Sally from the Gallery. Good riddance

John Bercow’s Next Job?

As Britain’s EU membership finally comes to an end next month, so (hopefully) will John Bercow’s miserable time as Speaker. Luckily, however, the St Helena Tourism Board have posted a job vacancy perfect for him should he be looking for a new job over the coming weeks. A Napolean impersonator…

The successful candidate will be expected to act as an ambassador for St Helena and have the ability to engage with dignitaries (which Bercow’s had more than enough practice of). Most importantly, however, Guido’s certain John Bercow’s natural attributes and Napolean Complex will be enough to ensure he gets the post…

Bercow Thwarts Duncan’s Pre-Emptive Coup Attempt

Alan Duncan’s self-congratulatory resignation as foreign minister in the middle of one of the biggest British foreign policy crises in recent times has at least achieved one thing – it’s managed to find John Bercow’s limit. Remarkably, Duncan wanted Bercow to hold an emergency debate on the “merits of the newly chosen Leader of the Conservative Party” and whether he can form a Government. Before he even becomes Prime Minister:

Even Bercow wasn’t prepared to entertain Duncan’s delusions at this stage – a second slap in the face for Duncan after he snubbed his request to make a resignation statement in the Commons. Parliament’s most puffed-up popinjay not willing to share his perch…

Bercow Selects Grieve’s New Anti-Brexit Amendment

In the most predictable development of the day, Bercow has selected Grieve’s beefed-up anti-prorogation amendment, despite it being even more contrived than the version that was rejected by Deputy Speaker Eleanor Laing last week. There’s a sizable number of Tories who have put their name to it already, former minister Alastair Burt co-sponsoring the amendment with Hilary Benn despite not even rebelling on the weaker Grieve amendment last week. Wonder what Jeremy Hunt thinks about one of his leading supporters co-sponsoring an amendment as hostile as this?

The Tories are expected to put a ‘hard three-line whip’ against the amendment, rebels think they’ve convinced ministers to abstain. Even with less than a week left, May surely can’t allow Cabinet Ministers to flagrantly flaunt a three-line whip…

Grieve Amendment Not Selected

Dominic Grieve’s amendment to the Northern Ireland Bill attempting to make it impossible to prorogue Parliament in Autumn has not been selected. Grieve’s amendment was clearly far beyond the scope of the Bill as well as carrying a range of constitutional baggage. Although that’s hardly stopped Bercow before…

What has stopped him is the fact that as it’s a Committee of the whole House, he’s not in the Chair, it’s a Deputy Speaker instead. Eleanor Laing proving herself far more capable of dispensing the solemn responsibilities of the Speaker’s Chair than Bercow…

UPDATE: Legal eagle Nikki da Costa notes that while three other Grieve amendments have been selected for debate, it’s doubtful that they will achieve his desired purpose. It won’t be the last time he tries…

Bercow Blasted for Blanking Blackford Boris Behaviour

Tory MPs were seething with rage after Bercow intervened to tell the SNP’s Ian Blackford to withdraw his description of Boris Johnson as “racist”, only for Blackford to double down on his remarks while Bercow turned a blind eye. Bill Wiggin furiuosly took the Speaker to task over his inconsistency, Bercow responds in characteristic fashion that he’s not a “delicate flower” and doesn’t feel “any concern”. Another big fat middle finger to Parliament…

Bercow’s Titanic Ego

The Sun’s leader column skewers the Speaker:

“a man so painfully self-centred he would have been in the first lifeboat off the Titanic”

Blunt’s Bercow EDM Published

“That this House notes that Erskine May states that “The chief characteristics attaching to the office of Speaker in the House of Commons are authority and impartiality”; further notes that it states that “Confidence in the impartiality of the Speaker is an indispensable condition of the successful working of procedure, and many conventions exist which have as their object not only to ensure the impartiality of the Speaker but also to ensure that his impartiality is generally recognised”; believes that it is impossible for this House to sustain belief in the impartiality of the right hon. Member for Buckingham; and therefore has no confidence in the Speaker.”

MPs can sign it here.

Another Benn Coup Rejected after Commons Vote Tied

The Commons remarkably tied – the first time since votes over Maastricht 26 years ago – with MPs split 310-310 over whether to allow Hilary Benn to take over Parliament again next week. Because all the previous times have worked so well…

To the surprise of many, Bercow actually cast his deciding vote against the coup – as convention to back the ‘status quo’ option strictly dictated he should do. Bercow himself acknowledged the principle for the Speaker “not to create a majority that does not otherwise exist”. Brexit never ceases to surprise…

Bercow’s Modern Minor Genital

The Speaker is becoming increasingly theatrical…

He is the very model of a modern minor genital,
His exclamations patronising, animal, imperial,
He is the Prince of Parliament, he quotes debates historical,
From Erskine May to made-up way, in order quite dishonourable.

G Fawkes, 2019.

Bercow Stitches Up Parliamentary Votes Yet Again

John Bercow has cooked up yet another Speaker’s Stitch-Up Special with his selections for tonight’s second batch of indicative votes tonight. Bercow selected only four Remainer motions for MPs to vote on tonight. They are more or less identical to the ones which were all rejected just five days ago:

  • C (Clarke) – Customs Union – already rejected 272-264
  • D (Boles) – Common Market 2.0 – already rejected 283-188
  • E (Kyle) – Second referendum – already rejected 295-268
  • G (Cherry) – Revoke Article 50  already rejected 293-184

Bercow refused to allow any Brexiteer motions including John Baron’s Motion A on a unilateral right of exit from the backstop. Despite this previously securing a majority in the Commons in the form of the Brady Amendment.

To be fair Joanna Cherry’s is slightly different from the one rejected last time. It now also contains the bonkers provisions of launching a formal public inquiry to come up with a new kind of Brexit, which might then be put to the public in a second referendum to give the Government permission to re-trigger Article 50 and try to re-negotiate it with the EU months or even years down the line. If it sounds mad it’s because it is – it was literally written by Jolyon Maugham

Bercow is now busy tying himself in knots trying to explain why he refused to allow the Government to use a secondary motion to bring back a Meaningful Vote, but will allow Hilary Benn and Oliver Letwin’s secondary motion to bring back identical Indicative Votes twice in just four sitting days. Of all the institutions which have lost the public’s trust over their attempts to subvert Brexit, none have been damaged more than the Office of the Speaker…

Bercow: “I Positively Salivated” Over Meeting School Children

Weird phrasing…[…] Read the rest

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