Labour Conference to Inflict Bercow on Membership

Labour’s conference fringe listing is out and Guido’s been combing through the usual endless list of dry policy debates. He’s down to give a talk to “SME4Labour”, presumably about himself. Does SME now stand for small & medium egotists?

In a similar vein, Corbyn is set to speak at a total of 6 events, including a Stop The War Coalition panel called “How Can We End 20 Years Of The War On Terror?”. Turns out Stop The War’s demands to withdraw troops from Afghanistan has not, in fact, stopped the war…

In other notable events, on Saturday, Len McCluskey will be launching his book, and round the corner from the official conference venue, Chris Williamson’s new outlet is putting on a multi-day show, packed with the most unsavoury types one could hope to bump into.

Labour members will also presumably be clamoring to attend the Tuesday afternoon event called “Britain Talks” – a fringe listing hosted by The Daily Mirror, Chaired by the editor of The Daily Mirror, the only speaker at which is Ros Wynne-Jones – Daily Mirror columnist.

Given a daily circulation of 388,584, Guido questions the event host’s ability to speak for Britain… 

mdi-timer 13 September 2021 @ 17:02 13 Sep 2021 @ 17:02 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Furlough-Claiming Bercow Signs Up to New Reality Business Show

John Bercow’s desperation for screentime continues today, as it’s announced he’s signed up to a new TV reality show called Unicorn Hunters. The show, produced by the people behind The Apprentice and The Masked Singer, has announced the former Speaker will join the presenting team from August, alongside Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak. Guido would have preferred Bercow to do the Masked Singer…

The show claims to be the “first in a new genre, know as ‘enrichtainment’, where viewers at home will also have the opportunity to invest in the companies and build wealth at home.” It essentially sounds similar to Dragons’ Den, where “Unicorns” – emerging growth companies aiming to reach a valuation of $1 billion or more have the chance to pitch their ideas to the “Circle of Money”, a panel made of – their words not Guido’s – “legendary entrepreneurs and experts” who will interrogate the subject. Bercow’s entrepreneurial expertise is questionable, though Guido can acknowledge his business savvy given he recently claimed up to £30,000 in furlough despite having £400,000 in the bank…

mdi-timer 5 July 2021 @ 13:31 5 Jul 2021 @ 13:31 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Fact Check: Bercow’s False Labour Peerage Denial

Just 48 hours ago, John Bercow insisted on Sky News that he didn’t join the Labour Party for the sake of a peerage. Apparently, he’d had “absolutely no conversation whatsoever with Keir Starmer or any other member of the Labour leadership” on the matter, having only joined Labour because the Tories are “reactionary, populist, nationalistic and sometimes even xenophobic“. How noble.

Unfortunately for unequivocal Bercow, the Times has uncovered Bercow’s emails to Labour back in 2019, in which he shamelessly begged for a peerage, and going so far as to write his own 556-word reference for the potential nomination:

“He held no fewer than five shadow ministerial positions, serving in the shadow cabinet in 2001-2002 and later as shadow secretary of state for international development, gaining invaluable political experience in relation to Africa and Asia alike . . . John has received no fewer than 11 awards for his parliamentary work.”

It’s taken all morning to wipe the surprise off Guido’s face.

mdi-timer 22 June 2021 @ 13:18 22 Jun 2021 @ 13:18 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Bercow at Odds with New Comrades over Tennis Elitism

After his Sunday morning media round yesterday – following his shock defection to Labour in the Observer – Bercow immediately whizzed over to the Queen’s Club in West Kensington for an afternoon of tennis. Despite having just leapt into bed with a bunch of rabid socialists, Bercow and his son took up seats in the most expensive area. His old MP register of interests suggest the tickets were well over £600…

Awkwardly, Bercow’s Tory-esque courtside revelling already puts him at odds with his new comrades. Last week, King of the North Andy Burnham accused the government of elitism for prioritising the Wimbledon finals’ audience over Wembley’s Euros matches, claiming it is “one rule for tennis, another for everyone else.”

Bercow may be hoping for a second serve in politics – for now, it looks like he’ll continue being a ball boy… 

mdi-timer 21 June 2021 @ 15:52 21 Jun 2021 @ 15:52 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
John Bercow Insists He Didn’t Join Labour for a Peerage
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Bercow on Bullying: “We All Make Mistakes”
mdi-timer 20 June 2021 @ 09:41 20 Jun 2021 @ 09:41 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
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