Brendan Clarke-Smith’s Lift Memorial

Co-conspirators will remember Tory MP Brendan Clarke-Smith’s lift escapade back in September, when he got stuck in one of Parliament’s lifts for 50 whole minutes. It now seems one co-conspirator on the estate enjoyed the story so much they’ve made up a faux blue plank commemorating the event. Good to see Brendan’s name going up in the world…

mdi-timer 15 December 2021 @ 17:05 15 Dec 2021 @ 17:05 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Red Wall Tory MP’s Levelling Up Stalls

While most Tory MPs aren’t having a great post-recess return to work, given they’re being forced to put up taxes, Bassetlaw’s Brendan Clarke-Smith won the award for most stressful first day back. A mechanical error resulted in the MP getting stuck in one of parliament’s lifts for a full 50 minutes, while members of staff tried rescuing him and an increasing cohort of less-than-sympathetic Tory MPs turned up to laugh. And Tory MPs thought falling masonry was the worst their aging workplace could throw at them…

Upon initially grinding to a halt, Clarke-Smith tried using the intercom system to call for help, only for that to also farcically break down.

Perhaps this is the whips’ new way of preventing Tory rebellions…

mdi-timer 7 September 2021 @ 10:29 7 Sep 2021 @ 10:29 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Tory MP’s Awkward Euros Sweepstake

Alongside many constituents, Tory MPs have launched a sweepstake for the 2020 Euros – a potentially risky draw for some to enter given their anger at England over taking-the-knee.

Earlier this month, four Tory MPs in particular spoke out against the team’s virtue-signalling: Brendan Clarke-Smith, Tom Hunt, Jonathan Gullis and Lee Anderson. While Lee Anderson explicitly called for a boycott, Clarke-Smith didn’t hold back, saying Gareth Southgate’s comments were “an insult to fans’ intelligence” and said fans were sick and tired of being “lectured on morality”. Guess which team Brendan drew in the MP sweepstake…

  • Felicity Buchan – Switzerland🇨🇭
  • Aaron Bell – Belgium🇧🇪
  • Jane Hunt – Russia🇷🇺
  • Ben Spencer – France🇫🇷
  • Kat Fletcher – Ukraine🇺🇦
  • Jonathan Gullis – Netherlands🇳🇱
  • Paul Howell – Turkey🇹🇷
  • Matt Vickers – Croatia🇭🇷
  • Siobhan Baillie – Italy🇮🇹
  • Virginia Crosbie – Denmark🇩🇰
  • Stuart Anderson – Wales🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿
  • Brendan Clarke-Smith – England🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
  • Imran Ahmad Khan – Spain🇪🇸
  • Andrew Griffith – Sweden🇸🇪
  • Mark Eastwood – Scotland🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
  • Andy Carter – Portugal🇵🇹
  • Suzanne Webb – Hungary🇭🇺
  • James Daly – Germany🇩🇪
  • Robert Largan – Poland🇵🇱
  • Gareth Bacon – Slovakia🇸🇰
  • Luke Evans – Czech Republic🇨🇿
  • Gagan Mohindra – North Macedonia🇲🇰
  • Dehenna Davison – Austria🇦🇹
  • Craig Williams – Finland🇫🇮

Bad luck Brendan – and Matt Vickers of course…

mdi-timer 14 June 2021 @ 10:49 14 Jun 2021 @ 10:49 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
In Full: Host of Tory MPs Join Boris in Self-Isolation

As well as Lee Anderson who forced Boris into self-isolation in the first place, a host of Tory MPs have now also been told to self-isolate:

  • Lee Anderson (Ashfield)
  • Boris Johnson (Uxbridge)
  • Lia Nici (Grimsby)
  • Brendan Clarke-Smith (Bassetlaw)
  • Andy Carter (Warrington South)
  • Katherine Fletcher (South Ribble)
  • Jacob Young (Redcar)
  • Maria Miller (Basingstoke)
  • Chris Clarkson (Heywood and Middleton)
  • Matt Vickers (Stockton South)
  • Kieran Mullan (Crewe and Nantwich)
  • Marco Longhi (Dudley North)

Keep an eye on this rolling list…

mdi-timer 16 November 2020 @ 11:04 16 Nov 2020 @ 11:04 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Bassetlaw MP Proves His Little Britain Devotion

Yesterday Guido had a good laugh about new MP Brendan Clarke-Smith’s office messing up in accidentally thanking fictional Little Britain character Marjorie Dawes for her work in the local community during lockdown. Clarke-Smith told Guido it was particularly embarrassing given he’s such a fan of the sketch show he’s even seen it live. During education questions today Guido spotted Brendan sneak in a Little Britain reference as a nod to his cock up, which clearly flew over the head of Gavin Williamson. He’s the biggest fan in the Westminster village…

mdi-timer 5 May 2020 @ 12:18 5 May 2020 @ 12:18 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
MP Thanks Fictional Fat Fighters Marjorie

The new Red Wall Tory MP for Bassetlaw has been slightly overzealous in Covid inspired community engagement. Over the weekend, Bassetlaw MP Brendan Clarke-Smith thanked one Marjorie Dawes as the ‘Best of Bassetlaw’ for her work in the local community during lockdown. The new MP said his office was:

“… inundated with people wanting to say a big THANK YOU for keeping their mental and physical health in check during lockdown. You’re not only a motivator, but a friend, a lifeline, and a confidant to many. Marjorie, you’re a star – thank you”

The only problem with this is Marjorie is not the proprietor of a local slimming club, rather a fictional Little Britain character played by Matt Lucas. Clarke-Smith appears to have fallen for a prank email campaign…

UPDATE: Brendan tells Guido…

“It seems there was a bit of a ‘kerfuffle’ involving a prank against my Westminster office last week.

“It’s a shame that a campaign that pays homage to our local heroes has been mocked but we’ll ‘dust’ ourselves off and continue to serve and promote those doing great work in Bassetlaw.”

Classic…

mdi-timer 4 May 2020 @ 16:51 4 May 2020 @ 16:51 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments