Despite cringing with horror, the Westminster village owes a debt of gratitude to Michael Gove for providing a full bank holiday weekend’s-worth of Twitter content, after being filmed in a Scottish nightclub. Theresa May would be proud.

While Michael is yet to respond to the incident – other than a “friend” denying he tried to get out of paying the £5 entry fee by boasting he was the “Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster” – 18-year-old daughter Beatrice has had some thoughts. A number of TikTok comments from her claim Michael’s been up in Scotland “to see his “family””, joked “he’s more of a child than me” and topped it off with the classic child-of-divorce line “Bro idk he’s not MY dad no more”

A video from her referencing the clips also appears to call her dad “a national embarrassment”

Guido wouldn’t expect anything less from a teenage daughter…

The harsh reality of separation has caught up with Michael Gove and Sarah Vine, after their multi-million west London townhouse has now been put on the market following the announcement of their divorce. Their neighbours will no doubt be relieved to see the throng of cameras and hacks finally depart the street as well…

The property comes with 4/5 bedrooms, a double reception, a library – currently stuffed with political history books – two floors of living & entertaining space, as well as a walled garden. You can also re-enact Michael’s multiple declarations of leadership intent in front of your own black-doored No. 10…

It also looks like Beatrice has redecorated, as her infamous graffiti-ridden bedroom – described by Vine as a “pit” – is now to be seen by prospective buyers.

As required, the letting agency informs potential buyers that the home has an energy efficiency rating of only an E, despite the potential to upgrade it to a C. Pretty shoddy of the former environment secretary to have not already made the necessary improvements…

UPDATE:  The price isn’t on the listing, don’t expect to get change out of £2.25 million.

Chris Whitty’s abuse from a 15-year-old wasn’t the only political event of note to play out on TikTok this week. Guido wonders how many of his SW1 readers could answer these questions:

• Which Cabinet minister’s child told their followers this week “I would assassinate” their high-flying political parent?
• Which Cabinet minister’s nephew told their followers this week “if you think you have it bad then just imagine your auntie is one of the biggest Tories in the UK”, promising to spill the beans on some personal drama.

TikTok is fast becoming fertile ground for political events and news, as Guido proved when Michael Gove’s secretive forced self-isolation was revealed by his own offspring. At some point poltician’s  Gen Z children will become adults, and the press will be on the hunt for their stories. Politicians may want to take advantage of their home working and start monitoring their young family-members’ social media output…

When Michael Gove entered self-isolation yesterday he assured us he himself did not have the symptoms, though a family member had come down with some signs of Coronavirus. Sarah Vine took it upon herself to spill the family beans yesterday in her column, specifying that her daughter is the one who has put her father out of circulation. The joys of parenthood…

“In my own case, for example, our daughter Beatrice came down with a high fever and assorted Covid-19 symptoms on Sunday. She seems perfectly fine now (oh, blissful youth), but, as a precaution, the rest of us are now self-isolating, including my husband. It’s unlikely, in my view, that he will have caught it from her — being a typical teenager, she spends most of her time in voluntary self-isolation in her bedroom.”

Vine’s confession will have come as no surprise to the 18,000 TikTok followers of Gove and Vine’s daughter, who on Monday uploaded a video confessing “my family wont even talk to me now bc i have all the corona symptoms” along with another video captioned “Sidenote I have corona like I’m not even capping”. Bea’s greatest Coronavirus concern? “Cant even smoke my ouid bc my cough is so bayd”

Her very public TikTok videos – which have almost hit 830,000 video likes from her 511 uploads – include 17-year-old Bea boasting of her love of cannabis weed; smoking a blunt with a friend out of her bedroom window and accidentally calling her dealer “daddy”.. She must be annoyed by the current market’s corona-induced high prices…

Bea may find that after lockdown ends inflated weed prices means that ‘3 years of birthday money’ won’t be enough for an ounce…

UPDATE 15.40 : The TikTok account – which we did not identify above – is now set to private.