Obama at the 2015 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Maybe he should replace Jon Stewart?

What’s Claret and Blue?

The speechwriter’s posterior. Somebody is going to get an auto-cue kicking…

west-ham-cam

It is the moment when he coughs uncomfortably as his brain whirs over whether to correct it and draw attention to the gaffe, or hope no-one notices. Tough call…

Ashcroft Poll: UKIP Set To Take Thurrock

thurrock
Louise Mensch, who has donated £19,000 to assist Tory candidates standing against UKIP candidates, spent much of last week explaining why polls are wrong. Perhaps it is because Guido is by the sunny seaside on the Atlantic coast that he can hear the faint sound of sobbing this morning. Tim Aker looks set to have become a councillor, MEP and an MP in the space of one amazing year. All that talk of the ‘Kippers having no ground game looks misplaced. High contact rates match their polling lead. They have learnt from the old LibDem strategy of focusing their resources on a few winnable seats…

UPDATE:

Ruthless Nicola’s Dollgate Denials

dollgate

Shocking revelations in this morning’s Sun:

As with the furore over the French Consul’s embarrassing diplomatic report, the denial is less than convincing:

If as a child Sturgeon was prepared to hack the top off a Barbie doll, will she now use her power to do the same to Britain?

UPDATE: Another happy reader:

Despite her previous denial to the BBC, Sturgeon now openly admits to ruthlessly hacking the hair off a Sindy doll:

Nicola claims she has reformed:

Has she really?

Idiocy of Channel 4’s News Wall

C4IDIOCY

Channel 4 News has discovered animated GIFs. They have launched a web page full of them – presumably for people who find reading 140 character tweets too mentally taxing. The flickering GIFs come with a health warning that “they may cause seizures”What a waste of pixels…

Data Shows Miliband Less Sexy Than Coalition Leaders

yougov-attractiveness

It is not so #SexyMiliband according to a YouGov survey bring further proof that we have passed peak #SexyMiliband. Nick Clegg is the housewife’s choice, Cameron is sloppy seconds. Ed comes a distant third just ahead of Nigel Farage.

MiliFandom is clearly a minority interest…

Six Questions the Next Government Must Answer

Sponsored post

 

Everyone’s currently preoccupied with who will win the general election.

But, whichever party takes power, there are key economic issues that need to be addressed, says the Institute of Economic Affairs.

As part of its 2020 Vision programme of books, reports, films and events, the think tank tackled the cost of living, tax unfairness, rampant regulation and more.

And it identified six crucial questions the next government must answer to secure the UK’s economic well-being.

Guido’s Fantasy Frontbench: Douglas Carswell as Prime Minister!

Sponsored postlogo-black[1]

Click here to see Guido’s Fantasy Frontbench.

Sick of the Oxbridge elite running Westminster? Ever wished you could play the part of Prime Minister and pick the politicians that most closely represent your views? Well now you can. Fantasy Frontbench (www.fantasyfrontbench.com) lets you directly compare politicians. Create your ‘fantasy’ cabinet of 22 ministers – sorting and selecting them by gender, education, age and experience, as well as how they have voted in Parliament on 75 key policy issues ranging from EU integration and NHS reform to Trident and same-sex marriage. Once you’re done, see how your frontbench statistically breaks down then share and debate it with friends and family.

fantasy

Guido has gone for a dramatic change in the front bench line-up of a 7-party coalition, headed by Douglas Carswell as PM, to transition the nation towards becoming the world’s first iDemocracy. Boris would be Deputy PM just to cheer up the country, Farage goes to the Foreign Office to be in charge of their excellent wine cellar and the Brexit.  Similarly Alex Salmond would be Scottish Secretary and Leanne Wood as Welsh Secretary. Their national exits from English taxpayer subsidies to be their policy priority.

Labour would have one member of the Cabinet, ex-para Dan Jarvis to Northern Ireland to take charge of negotiations with ex-provo Martin McGuinness. Priti Patel will go to the Home Office to oversee the return of capital punishment for paedophile kiddie killers. LibDem John Hemmings to Justice to open up the secret courts. Michael Gove to the MoD to oversee a more realpolitik approach to defence policy in the Middle East in particular. Sajid Javid to the Exchequer with Steve Baker as chief secretary with responsibility for monetary reform.

Ex-nurse Nadine Dorries to take charge of the NHS and become Minister for Women. Jacob Rees Mogg to Education, parliamentarian par excellence Alec Shelbrooke to be Leader of the House. Liam Fox to wind down the DfID before it is merged into the MoD. Owen Patterson back to DECC and my old friend Tim Aker to Transport. Lord Maude to oversee the slimming down of BIS following a 99% reduction in the departmental budget. Following an admittedly shoddy backroom deal the newly enobled Lord Al Murray will go to Culture. Click here to see Guido’s Fantasy Frontbench in its entirety.

Create your own political dream team now at www.fantasyfrontbench.com

Peak #SexyMiliband Reached

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Farage Takes 9% Lead in Thanet South

unnamed (1)Alert Louise Mensch…south thanet contact

Twice as many local voters say they have met Farage rather than the Labour or Tory candidate. In fact contact rates in terms of door knocking, leafleting and tele-canvassing all give the campaign to UKIP. It appears […]

+ READ MORE +

Survation/Mirror Poll Has 4% Lead for Tories

unnamed

Headline voting intention (with change in brackets since last Survation poll on 17th April): CON 33% (-1); LAB 29% (-4); UKIP 18% (+1); LD 10% (+3); SNP 4% (NC); GRE 4% (+1); AP 1% (-1). Outlier or…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Newsnight Does #MiliFandom, #Cameronettes and Kim KarSturgeon

Newsnight is still, allegedly. the BBC’s flagship current affairs programme…[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Sky News ask a “Labour representative” where the local St George’s Day events are. He replies:

“You’re better off asking the UKIP candidate” 

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