Nads: Diane Abbott Must Be Doing Shapps’ Adding Up

“If Grant Shapps has got 30 people signing his petition then Diane Abbott must be doing the adding up.”

Zing…

Diane Abbott Tweets Fake May Quote

There is no evidence Theresa May ever said this. When the quote was sent viral by Corbynista tweeters during the election, attempts to prove it was real failed. No one from Labour has ever managed to provide a source. There was no mention of the quote anywhere on the internet ever before the election. The Tories say it is a fake quote. What was that about politicians receiving nasty abuse on Twitter, Diane?

UPDATE: Diane has now deleted her tweet. Will she apologise?

Labour’s Brexit Shambles

Completely clueless… and that’s just this week…

Diane Does It Again: Another Abbott Numbers Gaffe

One of the best yet…

Corbynistas Plotting to Deselect Moderates Again

Diane Abbott has signalled that Labour MPs are likely to face deselection challenges this parliament, telling today’s Progress conference “you can’t cut across local parties” looking to take out moderates. Diane could have shut down talk of deselections, instead she has carefully and deliberately left the option open. The true Corbynista viewpoint has been expressed by Jon Lansman’s apprentice Max Shanly, who vowed yesterday that Labour’s membership will deselect moderate candidates:

A reality check for those pathetic Labour moderates who spent months telling voters Corbyn wasn’t fit to lead and are now grovelling for their careers. The Yvettes, Chukas and Woodcocks cringingly sucking up to the hard-left deserve everything their side of the party is going to get…

Diane Back as Shadow Home Secretary

Good news.

Diane Abbott Getting the Vote Out in £56,000 Mercedes SUV

Diane didn’t want to answer Guido’s questions as we wished her a speedy recovery this afternoon. She was getting the vote out in a £56,000 Mercedes SUV. For the many, not the few?

Diane Abbott Apparently Duped by Alleged Email Prankster

Diane Abbott has apparently been duped by the same email prankster who caught out Bank of England Governor Mark Carney and Barclays CEO Jes Staley. The prankster, in character as Seamus Milne, elicited concern from Diane about her role in future press coverage: “What is the situation about election night press?” Abbott also appears to have inadvertently disclosed medical information. This has not been a good election for Diane Abbott…

Diane Pulls Out of Woman’s Hour

Diane unwell apparently. Unfit certainly…

UPDATE: Oxford Circus is the nearest tube station to Broadcasting House. This is 20 minutes before she was supposed to be on air. Pulled at the last moment?

Diane Abbott Car Crash: Clueless About Terror Report

Having gone missing for the last few days, Diane Abbott surfaced on Murnaghan tonight, where she failed to remember any of the detail of the Lord Harris report into dealing with terrorism. She wants to be Home Secretary in three days. This is why the Leader’s Office have tried to keep her off the airwaves…

GUY NEWS SPECIAL: Where’s Diane?

Diane Abbott has gone missing. She hasn’t been on TV since the London attacks – odd since she wants to be Home Secretary – and senior Corbynistas have ordered her to scale back her broadcast interviews following that disastrous showing on Marr. Where has she gone? Guido Squawks investigates…

Rich’s Monday Morning View

Diane Abbott Refuses 4 Times to Renounce Her Support For IRA

Asked four times by Andrew Marr, Diane Abbott refuses to say she regrets her support for the IRA, only saying that she has “moved on”. She says that her afro has changed, as have her views…

Amber Rudd buries her opposite number: “I’ve changed my hairstyle a few times in 34 years too. But I’ve not changed my view on how to keep the public safe”.

Finally Found Corbyn on a Candidate’s Leaflet!

A co-conspirator has sent in a copy of Diane Abbott’s election leaflet. Finally we have found a candidate willing to be pictured with Corbyn.

The former lovers who want to be the Brexit negotiating team…

Iain Dale Reads Guido’s Corbyn IRA List to Diane Abbott

Confronted by Iain Dale with Guido’s list of Corbyn’s meetings with the IRA, Diane Abbott admits he did share platforms with IRA killers. He was telling porkies…

May on Abbott

Theresa May does a funny:

“Labour wants to take us back 40 years, or 400 years according to Diane Abbott.”

New Diane Abbott Maths Fail: Local Elections Special

Diane Abbott is asked by ITN if she knows how Labour are doing in the local elections:

Reporter: Do you know the number of net losses so far for Labour?

Diane Abbott: At the time of doing this interview I think the net losses are about 50.

Reporter: There are actually 125 net losses so far.

Abbott: Well the last time I looked we had net losses of about 100 but obviously this is a moving picture.

Expect Diane to be asked a numbers question every single time she’s near a reporter until June 8…

Diane Forced to Watch Car Crash Replay

Diane insists “I do know the figures” and claims she just “misspoke”. Supreme awkwardness as the Daily Politics plays this morning’s car crash back to her…

Corbyn: I’m Not Embarrassed By Diane

Corbyn insists he isn’t embarrassed by Diane Abbott after her clusterf**k this morning. Get your popcorn ready, she’s touring the studios again this afternoon…

Diane Abbott Police Numbers Car Crash

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Diane Abbott, the Shadow Home Secretary remember, has a new policy committing Labour to putting 10,000 extra police on the streets. Could she explain how it works to LBC’s Nick Ferrari?[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

IDS responds to Juncker’s pints analogy earlier:

“Mr Juncker knows a little bit more about the bar than perhaps many of us do.”

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