Quote of the Day

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Boris Backs Brexit (Possibly)

In every modern Tory leadership election the candidate who has made the most anti-EU noises has won. Ergo, here is Boris’ intervention in this week’s Time magazine:

“I think Brexit is possible … [Britain] would very rapidly come to an alternative arrangement that protected our basic trading interests. I must be clear. I think there would be a pretty testy, scratchy period … [but] it wouldn’t be disastrous.”

He’s said it before, but this time he’s said it a little louder. Over to you, Theresa…

Boris of Mesopotamia

Despite strict Foreign Office advice not to travel to the region, a Briton with Turkish roots has posed with a Kalashnikov in northern Iraq. Boris has travelled to the region to support the fight against ISIS. Allahu, er, cripes, akbar!

Boris Says Balls Looks Like He Has a Finger Up His Bum

balls

Nifty work by The Tab, who have recorded Bojo charming a Tory party fundraiser by telling them Ed Balls has:

“the air of a pop-eyed man who looks like he’s undergoing an unexpected prostate examination.”

A line he has shamelessly nicked from Anna Soubry…

Paxo Denies Claims He Will Run for Mayor

Jeremy Paxman has shot down the Times‘ suggestion that he is considering running to replace Boris as the Tory candidate for Mayor of London:

Though the invitation to see the PM suggests it wasn’t entirely fantasy…

Tory Mayoral Candidate’s Nude Pics

“I’m a complete rags to riches boy,” Nick Boles’ old flatmate Ivan Massow tells the Standard today, as he announces his intention to be the Tory candidate for London mayor in 2016. Presumably these photos were taken before he could afford clothes…

WATCH: Boris Tells Labour to Stick It

Boris was a little short tempered at Mayor’s Question Time yesterday after being quizzed by expenses cheat Andrew Dismore. Ohhhhh.

Lammy: Labour Won’t Win in 2015

Election mastermind David Lammy has said Ed will not win a majority in 2015:

“I don’t want to knock Ed personally. I actually think it’s a whole team issue. I think that, in the end, all of the major players that contribute to the Labour message.. have a lot to do between now and the general election. A lot to do! 

I think that the next general election is going to be phenomenally close. I am not moving off my assumption, when I collapsed on to my sofa after the last general election with my wife and watched Nick Clegg and David Cameron walk into number 10, and that is we are in for a decade of either minority or coalition government. That was my general view [in 2010] there’s very little that’s shifted.”

The distancing of future Labour mayoral hopefuls from the current leadership has begun. Bad news for Team Ed favourite Sadiq Khan…

Morning Sadiq: Please Don’t Read This Behind the Wheel

If Sadiq Khan could please wait until he’s driven to work to read this morning’s Times and Mailthat would be appreciated by other road users.

He can however listen to BBC London report on the fact his driving […]

+ READ MORE +

LISTEN: Boris Can’t Name Tory Clacton Candidate

The Mayor of London has evidently never seen Bread. Any connoisseur of eighties sitcoms knows that the Tory candidate in Clacton is actor Giles Watling, but not Boris on LBC this morning:

BJ: “We’ve got a fantastic guy called… bloody…

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Meating of the Clans: Osbo and BoJo BBQ

Boris and Osborne have been having secret narrative-busting family barbecues. Apparently, we are all mi-steak-en to think the Chancellor and the Mayor are anything but best buddies without a leadership ribbing in sight. As revealed in yesterday’s Sun […]

+ READ MORE +

David Lammy Pays for Brightness

David Lammy, the only candidate to officially declare he is a Labour candidate in the race to be the next Mayor of London, has hired Martin Bright to spin for him. “I’m on the payroll,” Bright tells Guido. A tough […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Out of the bubble prole Andy Burnham tells Mumsnet

“I’m afraid I’m going to depress you all by saying that I don’t have a sweet tooth and don’t eat biscuits… Give me a beer and chips and gravy any day.”

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