Monday, November 25, 2013

Boris 2.0

Could we see another posh blond bombshell replace Boris Johnson? As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun column, TV adventurer Ben Fogle says he wants to swap Countryfile for the city as Mayor of London. And with Seb Coe, Alan Sugar, Eddie Izzard et al it’s not as if there aren’t enough celebs considering their options.

“I have my own aspirations in politics. I’ve only just realised rather naively today that Eddie Izzard is going for London Mayor. If I ever went into politics, which my wife thinks is a ludicrous idea, London Mayor strikes me as the most likely I think I might have a go at. I think it is more achievable than other areas.”

The Navy officer, turned gentleman traveller, turned hero of Animal Clinic does not exactly endear himself to his party leader:

“There are lots of Tory policies I like but I don’t entirely like where the Tories are right now. I’m not the biggest fan of David Cameron. I believe you should be what you are, not pretending to be someone you are not.”

A bit like Boris…

Monday, September 23, 2013

Bald Boris Update

The clearest sign yet BoJo is going bald:

Maybe he’s been pulling his hair out over the latest Boris bus blunder.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Boris Comes Out Against Free School Meals Expansion
Mayor Rules Out Third Term in City Hall

Speaking to Guido after his speech at the Institute of Directors this morning, the Mayor of London publicly criticised plans to massively expand free school meals for children:

“I tell you, it would be very easy to say, I think.. I think that it’s real you know errr I, what I think is there should be compulsion to eat the school meal, but I am in no means against getting parents who can pay for to pay for it.”

He added, “I have no problem with the concept of dinner money.” When Guido pushed him on his position, asking directly whether rich parents should be subsidised, the Mayor replied: “No well… Look I’m sure the government have a very good reason for doing it.” Quite what that is remains a mystery to many Tories…

Coincidently, the Boris ruled out running for a third term in City Hall:

“I can rule that out, I can rule everything out”.

But then, that’s what Ken said…

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Diane Abbott Talks Up London Mayor Bid

As if Gorgeous George was not bad enough, Diane Abbott is flirting with a run at London mayor. She has been coy about the possibility before, today telling Progress why she would be a choice candidate. For some reason she is against Labour’s plan for a primary, insisting “it doesn’t make any sense”. Obviously not because of how it would affect her bid.

“I wouldn’t rule it out… [London is] much more interested in and much more positive about diversity and multiculturalism. The political consequences of austerity [will be key]. Londoners don’t want a party hack. Big cities never want a party hack. They want someone who’s independent, who will stand up for them.”

Divide and rule…

Thursday, August 8, 2013

George Galloway “Exploring” Bid for Mayor of London
“I Can Win, Yeah”

That well known Londoner George Galloway is preparing a bid for Mayor of London in 2016. In an interview with the Artist Taxi Driver, the MP for Bradford coughed:

“I have a committee exploring it now. It’s a shrunken field – Boris Johnson won’t be running. Ken Linvingstone won’t be running, I would never have run against Ken Livingstone as he’s a very old friend of mine. Labour will run Ken Livingstone minus, the Tories will field Boris Johnson minus… I can win, yeah.”

Guido is not sure Boris would fancy a job swap…

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

WATCH: Loony Unite Militants Jump on Boris’ Car

Boris’ driver delicately negotiates a Unite ambush over in Stanford-le-Hope. Could have gone much worse…

Via Your Thurrock.

Monday, July 15, 2013

WATCH: Boris Blows Crosby’s Cover

Cornered about his old campaign manager, Boris recounted Lynton Crosby’s advice to stop talking about airports earlier:

In an interview about airports, naturally.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Bald Boris: Mayor of London Losing Locks

As Guido’s Sun column revealed yesterday, the mop-topped Mayor of London is going bald. Brand Boris is reliant on his giant blond bouffant, yet his appearance on last week’s Question Time revealed a growing bald patch at the back and a deliberate effort to comb his locks forward. It was all a bit Donald Trump:

The age old rule in British politics is that bald men in the television age do not beat rivals with a full head of hair. Think Tony Blair versus William Hague, Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard, nor can we forget Maggie versus Kinnock, in every election the slap-head loses. Could Boris be a modern day version of Samson? Better get shift that leadership campaign up a gear…

 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Bad Boris Plays the Long Game

In his continued quest to be all things to all people, the Mayor has come out the side of the crooked in the Standard:

“What I feel … this is going to get me into trouble, but I do feel a certain amount of sympathy with all these poor MPs who end up thinking they are having some jovial lunch in which they are hysterically exaggerating their ability to do things. As if an MP would tell you whether he is actually any use or knows anyone or if there is any point in his existence, honestly.”

Hmmm…

He also dealt with a little person-al matter at his 2020 Vision launch earlier. In his own special way. Discussing the fact that London’s population has risen by at least 380,000 since he took over, the Mayor added “no thanks to me”.

He also quipped that he would not be the one to cut the ribbon on Crossrail 2 as Mayor,  “or anything else”.

Cue hilarity in the room…

Quotes via Pippa Crearer

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Loyal Coulson Speaks
Dave on Boris: “He’ll want my job next”

Andy Coulson has surfaced for the first time since his Downing Street walk out in 2011 to dispense some pearls of wisdom for those he left behind. Writing for July’s GQ, he gives “his ten-point masterplan for saving David Cameron and stopping Labour in 2015″. And he sticks it to Boris too. Guido is sure the advice will be welcomed with open arms…

Despite awaiting his September trial, Coulson has clearly been keeping one eye on the ball:

“The prime minister must push [Miliband] to take positions: expose his strategy (to keep his head down, silently hope that the economy continues to go wonky and, well, just be the other guy), challenge him to take a view on the tricky issues opposition politicians love to duck….I’m struck by how detached the opposition front bench appears to be from their leader…I just don’t think they rate him very much. And if they don’t there’s a good chance the public will feel the same way once they get to know him properly.”

He’s even got even stronger words for Balls:

“The prime minister should pray Ed Balls remains shadow chancellor until the election…Appointing him as George’s opposite number was the Miliband gift that will keep on giving… The Tories must look for the divisions and make the most of them a) because they are most certainly real – always a plus – and b) because it’s history repeating itself. We are in this hole at least in part because of the shamefully dysfunctional Blair/Brown relationship. Labour’s Two Eds dislike each other and each thinks he is smarter than the other. The Conservatives should imagine in some detail how it would work if they actually won…and share that vision with the British public.”

Other than what might come out at the Brooks and Coulson trial, the Tories other favourite topic of parlour conversation is Boris, and Coulson does not disappoint there either. The Mayor’s card is marked, it seems. Coulson reckons Boris wants the job but won’t tarnish the brand by moving against the PM.

“Number Ten’s Boris strategy should be simple.  Support his good ideas, advise privately on the bad ones, but only engage publicly if absolutely necessary – and celebrate Boris’ considerable successes. Boris Johnson desperately wants to be prime minister and David has known that fact longer than most.  When Boris asked me to pass on the message that he was keen to stand as mayor of London, David responded, “Well, if he wins, he’ll want my job next.”  If proof were needed that our PM is a man untroubled by self doubt, it came in his next sentence, “So I think he’ll be a bloody brilliant candidate for us”… Stabbing David, or anyone else for that matter, in the back would be distinctly off brand – just not very Boris.  He would much prefer to see David fail miserably in the election and ride in on his bike to save party and country.”

A little revenge, perhaps, for Boris saying at the height of the phone-hacking scandal that he had warned Dave and George off hiring the former Screws editor. You have to wonder what might be in that diary…


Seen Elsewhere

Reeves Red-Faced After Pension Gaffe | Sun
Band’s Fury at Song Being Used at Labour Conference | Buzzfeed
Rachel Reeves’ Pension Howler | Mail
UKIP Propose 90% Cut in Overseas Aid | Breitbart
Ed Milibaaaand | Sun
Ed Miliband Phrase Generator | Guardian
Blair Right About ISIS | Jago Pearson
Miliband Will Be Prime Minister By Default | Alex Wickham
Labout Have Learned Nothing | Jeremy Warner
How Cameron Can Return to No. 10 | Telegraph
Balls Speech Was Mush | FT


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Before Miliband spoke, a school choir sang ‘Fix You’ by Coldplay. The first verse of which goes like this:

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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