Kemi Badenoch made a statement in the Commons this afternoon on updated business and trade statistics. To cries of “hear hear” from the Tory benches she spelled out some the UK’s trading achievements since Brexit, which include:
News that good was clearly too much for Labour to handle, and as soon as Kemi stood up, they all ran away. Leaving the opposition backbenches empty…
Julian Lewis and Badenoch had a bit of fun, the former noting that “there appear to be eight times as many people sitting on our front bench as on the entirety of the Labor backbenches – does she take that as a vote of confidence in the government’s positive message?” Badenoch came right back:
“It’s clear that Labour don’t like good news because as soon as there is any they exit the chamber unless they absolutely have to be here… the Honourable lady is blushing because she knows she knows it is true…“
If you can’t hack the heat, get out of the kitchen…
Anneliese Dodds wrote to the Tories yesterday asking a number of questions, including whether Menzies’ behaviour was “common practice for Conservative party MPs”. The Tories’ overall majority dropping from 80 to 43 goes some way to answering that question…
An anecdote Guido heard yesterday might explain some of those “personal expenses”. Some years ago Menzies brought an attractive young man onto the Parliamentary estate. One gay Tory MP was so outraged to see the two swanning around in the Strangers’ Bar that he stormed up to the whips’ office to demand they take action and come straight down and reprimand Menzies for his behaviour .“It’s outrageous he’s parading around parliament with a rent boy”, he told Anne Milton, a whip who was a former nurse was not easily outraged. Drily she responded “How do YOU know he’s a rent boy?“
After The Times revealed that now-suspended Tory MP Mark Menzies was in a hostage situation with “bad people” and forced Tory volunteers to send £6,500 of campaign funds to secure his release, Guido has been sounding out MPs for their thoughts on the matter. If Wragg didn’t get much sympathy, out-of-control Menzies wasn’t in for a mollycoddling..
One backbencher says “it’s all sad” while a former senior Tory MP jibes: “£6,500 to secure his release? What a waste of his donors’ money. I bet his kidnappers could not believe their luck during this cost of living crisis. That’s £6,400 more than Will Wragg’s Grindr friends were asking for.” Some Tory MPs still haven’t got over 2017 allegations that Menzies got a friend’s dog drunk: “I’d like confirmation the dog is OK” says one. “How the hell do you get a dog pissed?!?” says another. One MP quips: “He’s no stranger to seeing a man about a dog”…
A government minister tells Guido:
“He said it was life and death when he rang his association (who will know him best) at 3.15 a.m. asking for money… and she chose death. She refused to give him the money. That’s the moral of the story.“
Another minister suggests to Guido that Menzies and Wragg should “launch a new discreet male-only hookup app for MPs called MenzWilly.” Could Parliament’s WiFi handle the strain?
Who says Commons voting procedures are dull? During last night’s votes on amendments to the Rwanda bill, Labour MP Clive Lewis tried to enter the division lobby but was refused entry because the time had expired. Cue an angry sweary rant at the Commons doorkeeper on instruction from the Deputy Speaker not to let anyone through. Some MPs claim Lewis then loudly complained that he was denied entry because he is a black MP. In line with Lewis’ usual tact and decorum in the Chamber…
Deputy speaker Roger Gale said “the consequences will be very severe” if the foul-mouthed member was identified, though Lewis pre-empted him by apologising for swearing “at no one in particular“:
“Let me very quickly explain. I received a message that caused me some consternation and surprise, to which I made an outburst in general at no one specifically. If I could do it again, I probably would have said something like ‘my giddy aunt’, rather than what did come out of my mouth, and for that I apologise.“
And they say swearing is a sign of intelligence…
Liz Truss is furious that Labour MPs have filibustered prior to the scheduled second reading of her private members bill tightening the rules on trans kids. It includes a ban on hormone treatment for under-18s and would stop schools recognising social transitioning in children. Labour MPs like Lloyd Russell-Moyle took their sweet time with previous bills, including discussions of ferret safety, and ran down the clock…
Truss has hit out at the tactic:
“Concerned parents will want to know why Labour don’t even want to discuss how to protect children and single sex spaces, let alone put those protections into law. Labour care more about ideology than the protection of children. These policies have popular support – and legislation is required in this area because non-statutory guidance gives too much latitude to extremist ideologues determined to use any loopholes available to promote their dangerous agenda.“
Labour won’t be able to run from the issue forever…
Guido has been covering Penny Mordaunt’s ever-lengthening streak of SNP-beating for some time now. Mordaunt kicked off by lampooning the ScotNats for allowing £110,000 of taxpayer cash to go to a “secret sex cave party” installation. She notes it was an “art installation that promises ‘a magical erotic journey through a distinctly Scottish landscape’, otherwise known to the rest of us as a hardcore porn movie.” Mordaunt didn’t stop there…
“The SNP are blowing taxpayers cash on copious embassies and lobbying to rejoin the EU. That campervan, Mr Speaker must be out of the police pound soon. Why not turn it into a mobile embassy and drive between Brussels and European capitals lobbying for EU membership? Perhaps if the SNP also wanted to continue their funding of innovative film projects they could double up and ask Cliff Richard to come with them and produce a sequel to ‘Summer Holiday’.”
Death by a thousand cuts…
