After The Times revealed that now-suspended Tory MP Mark Menzies was in a hostage situation with “bad people” and forced Tory volunteers to send £6,500 of campaign funds to secure his release, Guido has been sounding out MPs for their thoughts on the matter. If Wragg didn’t get much sympathy, out-of-control Menzies wasn’t in for a mollycoddling..

One backbencher says “it’s all sad” while a former senior Tory MP jibes: “£6,500 to secure his release? What a waste of his donors’ money. I bet his kidnappers could not believe their luck during this cost of living crisis. That’s £6,400 more than Will Wragg’s Grindr friends were asking for.” Some Tory MPs still haven’t got over 2017 allegations that Menzies got a friend’s dog drunk: “I’d like confirmation the dog is OK” says one. “How the hell do you get a dog pissed?!?” says another. One MP quips: “He’s no stranger to seeing a man about a dog”…

A government minister tells Guido:

“He said it was life and death when he rang his association (who will know him best) at 3.15 a.m. asking for money… and she chose death. She refused to give him the money. That’s the moral of the story.“

Another minister suggests to Guido that Menzies and Wragg should “launch a new discreet male-only hookup app for MPs called MenzWilly.” Could Parliament’s WiFi handle the strain?