The real treasurer of the Labour party is Lord Levy, Jack Dromey (a.k.a Mr Harman) has the title on his business card, but admits that he knows nothing about what is going on and that the real money is raised via No. 10.

Levy first came to Blair’s attention in the mid-90s, when he was introduced to the then leader of the opposition by an Israeli diplomat, the ex-music business accountant went on to raise £7m for Blair’s “blind” trust that ran his office. That trust was closed amid allegations about the lack of blindness of the trust and the rewards that went to suppposedly anonymous donors.

The level of coincidence between getting a 7-figure shakedown from Levy and a peerage by return post is approaching mathematical certainty. Levy is certainly adept at manipulating money, the Bentley driving millionaire managed famously to get his tax bill down to £5,000 one year (a fact he went to court to suppress being published by the Sunday Times – and lost). Jack Dromey has timed his intervention well, Blair is looking a bit wobbly today and an extra round of Downing Street sleaze stories will not help. A cynic might wonder if Jack Dromey is not positioning to ingratiate himself with the left-wing union where his future beckons.

Labour sleaze is of a different order to the Tory sleaze of old. The figures are of a different order and the money sloshing about went through No. 10, with the knowledge of the PM he admitted today. Neither Thatcher nor Major would ever have got involved in rattling the begging tin so directly.

N.B. Google now has a mere 115,000 references to “Tory Sleaze” versus 485,000 references to “Labour Sleaze“.

Eric Forth is having a good day so far, and it could get better. When Ming slowly stood up at PMQs (unsupported) to venture a question on pensions, the magnificent Forth heckled “Declare your interest!”, the whole house laughed and Ming was mortally punctured.

The expectation is that Eric will not vote with Blair and Cameron for the Education Bill tonight, which is what Blair was seeking, rather pathetically, to capitalise on. Dave retorted effectively that Blair should concentrate on whipping his own party and leave him to worry about whipping the Tory party.

Forth will do what he wants, but the hope is that he finds something other to do. You know, like give a few cyclists a kicking, send some children up chimneys or just basically any of his hobbies besides voting against Blair.

The latest “Fly” has not been officially released as a streaming video by CCHQ, but it was on CCHQ’s server and Guido has a copy. Rehman meets Cameron and Maude. “Ray” is obviously not completely on-message yet, he is still wearing a tie and speaks like a member of the Royal family. Ray, mate, sort out an Estuary accent and lose the neckwear. You look too Old School Tory posh…

Hat-tip : ConservativeHome.Com

Guido was in Starbucks in Victoria Street this afternoon distributing Contra brand contraband coffee to caffeine deprived refuseniks, when he bumped into Tim Montgomerie, just out of CCHQ, “Ha! I have a scoop for tomorrow morning”, before I could congratulate him Guido’s mobile rang, it was Recess Monkey “Ha! I have a scoop”. “Rehman Chishti is the Tory defector“ they both chorused. “Who?” asked Guido.

“Maude’s opposition Labour PPC” they chorused again. To be fair, the Monkey got the scoop from a Labourite who saw them filming “Rehman meets Cameron in parliament” and put 2 + 2 together and correctly got 4. Tip to CCHQ – don’t film a hush-hush video in the Palace of Westminster.

That red-arsed Monkey has been particularly unpleasant about this on his blog, down to publishing Rehman’s personal mobile number. Whatever they may say, the defection must hurt, his official Labour website (Rehman Chishti: Home Page) now has pictures of Blair all over it. Recess told John Bercow and Guido during our pubcast recording last night, “don’t worry we’ll trash his reputation by morning”.

Nasty New Labour.

Guido, not being well versed in Labour party lore was bemused until he explained to me how he too, in the national interest, relied on Tory votes. Labour forevermore treated him as a traitor.

Guido has never liked Ramsay and his temperance ways…

In the brave new world that is Cameron’s Conservative Campaign HQ (no longer called Central Office, too Stalinist, not dynamic enough), the boys and girls had to re-apply for their own job or wait to apply for a new one to get a CCHQ contract. They are all equal now.

Not however if you are a wonk in that febrile hothouse that is the Conservative Research Department, they apparently just get appointed with an old fashioned nod from the Chairman Maode. No-one knows there is a position and then suddenly there is an announcement. Little chance of them getting another Investors in People blue plastic triangle to hang on the CCHQ wall as mentioned in the glossy brochure from last year.

Also the position of Head of Candidates is up for grabs. This is a hotseat, charged with the implementation of the controversial A-list, the most objected to policy of the new regime. Tory gatherings are now torturous for white male pinstriped types paralysed with fear and half naked without their ties. If you fancy the job the closing date is 24 March, so quickly send your CV to jmaclaren@conservatives.com.

Jane values “diversity and welcome applications from all sections of the community.” You do still have to support the Conservatives though.

Guido didn’t get involved in the whole Mohammed cartoons thing because it wasn’t funny and, you know, Guido has an affinity with suicide-bombing, politico-religious revolutionaries. This however is funny (requires flash and speakers). Go you Eeee’d up Muslim muthas…

Propeller-Head Wonk Watch: The Foreign Policy Centre has surprised Guido with its latest pamphlet. It makes a fairly convincing case that Britain doesn’t have an independent nuclear deterrent. Guido has long suspected that if the PM tried to launch a Trident missile a little light would flash “ARE YOU SURE?” and when the PM answered yes, another light would flash “PLEASE CALL THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES FOR PERMISSION”. It seems Guido’s suspicions are basically correct.

The conclusion the pamphlet’s author, Dan Plesch, comes to, is that we shouldn’t bother having nukes if we have to ask Uncle Sam for permission to use them. Guido thinks au contraire we should, like the French, have our own smaller nukes and delivery systems independent of the U.S.

Stephen Twigg’s FPC risks no longer being taken seriously if it pursues a “no nukes” agenda. It is simply inconceivable that Britain, under a Labour or Tory government, would renounce the ultimate deterrent in a world where terrorists and rogue states are seeking to arm themselves with such weapons. MAD indeed.

Progress the Blairite loyalist on-message gang of Blair groupies, has rounded up David Blunkett, Stephen Byers, Charles Clarke, Ruth Kelly, David Miliband, Jacqui Smith, Jack Straw, Ann Taylor, Stephen Timms, Derek Twigg and Stephen Twigg in a piss-poor video begging Labour MPs to vote for the Education bill. Sad isn’t it? Click on the screen to play it.

Back in April, LibDem MP Lembit Opik announced he had postponed his wedding to TV weather girl Sian Lloyd because of the General Election.

“We were aiming to tie the knot on October 5. However, it’s just become impossible for me to spend time on the plans. So Sian has ended up with all the meetings, paperwork, plans and calls. It’s frankly a bit much to expect her to do everything so we are moving the date but not the venue.”

He said at the time that it would now be a winter wedding at Powys Castle. Sian said at the time

“Lembit is totally immersed in the General Election campaign at the moment. Frankly that has been the case for the last few months. I should be grateful, I suppose, at least he didn’t try to move the wedding to May 5 for electoral purposes.”

Obviously the LibDem leadership election kept Lembit busy (he was the man behind Oaten) then it was LibDem Spring Conference, where he was very busy, but now that it is spring and the perfect time for weddings, Guido is looking forward to finally receiving his invitation.