EU Order of the OTT: Super Soub’s Souped Up Spin

The level of outlandish hyperbole flying around during the referendum campaign has inspired Guido to institute a new EU subdivision of the Order of the OTT. The first recipient is Anna ‘super’ Soubry for her brilliantly bonkers claim that trade with the EU will reduce to “absolutely zero” post-Brexit:

Jonathan Dimbleby: “Can you both agree on a matter of fact, what proportion of this market is in Europe and what proportion is outside?”

Anna Soubry: “44% of our exports which is £290 billion goes into the EU.”

Kate Hoey: “That has gone down by 10% in the last 8 years.”

Anna Soubry: “But Kate it will go down to almost absolutely zero if we come out of the EU.”

According to Soubs there will be a virtual trade embargo with the EU following Brexit, despite the fact that the UK’s trade deficit with the EU has just hit an all time high. Righto.

Guardian Scrapes Barrel to Bash UKIP

The Guardian is coming in for a lot of criticism – not least from its own staff – for this piece by Jonathan Jones today describing the Tower of London poppies as a “fake… UKIP-style memorial”. It’s the most read article on the Guardian website today, seemingly because of the numbers queuing up to pan it. A quick look at readers’ responses suggest this sort of metropolitan Guardianista sneering is why UKIP are on the rise. It’s their equivalent of MailOnline clickbait, only less classy…

Loony Labour MP Compares Israel-Palestine to Genocide, Again

Earlier this year loony Labour MP Yasmin Qureshi was forced to apologise, albeit very begrudgingly, for comparing Israeli policy to the Holocaust. Today Qureshi has shown just how much she learned her lesson by again comparing Israeli actions with a genocide. She says in a blog on her website:

“It is ironic that on the very day we are reflecting on lessons from Srebrenica we are overwhelmed by scenes of carnage in Gaza as the Humanitarian crisis continues to deepen.”

On the 19th anniversary of the massacre of 8,000 people at Srebrenica, that’s a pretty offensive comparison even by Qureshi’s standards…

Order of the OTT: Salmond's Joan's Post-it Note

Alex Salmond’s favourite columnist Joan McAlpine is getting very excited about today’s white paper published by the SNP. Here she is getting more than a little carried away in her piece for the Daily Record this morning:

“It makes America’s historic Declaration of Independence look like a Post-it note.”

No greater enemy to freedom for Scotland than the SNP themselves.

Order of the OTT: LabourList’s Tiny Violin

Mark Ferguson of LabourList well and truly earned his union keep with his response to today’s Spending Round. Choking back the tears as he whined about Osborne’s “nasty, vicious, small politics”, Ferguson launched into a tour de force of hyperbolic, hand-wringing rhetoric well worthy of the Order of the OTT:

“But it’s fine, because we can all marvel at hilarious jokes about how fatty Eric Pickles is an example of lean government, as people starve and are driven to charity by this heartless, vindictive and mean little man. Ed Balls, in response,was excellent – far better than last autumn – lambasting and lampooning the Chancellor. And I’d love to write about how good that felt, watching him whomp this ignorant fool about the chamber.

But if I did I’d be lying. Because I couldn’t stop thinking about those people. And that hunger. And those lost jobs. And those presentless Christmases. And those queues growing outside payday lenders and food banks. And I just felt f***ing sick.”

Imagine what he’d be like if spending was actually going down…

Order of the OTT: Abrahams Accuses Cameron of "Genocide"

Debbie Abrahams almost has Guido feeling sorry for Andy Burnham. The Shadow Health Secretary’s PPS still hasn’t apologised to the House for stupidly repeating “Dr” Eoin Clarke’s lies in PMQs, and now her incompetence has gone a step further. Last night Abrahams somehow thought it would be appropriate to retweet a twitter loon accusing the government of “genocide”:

You would have thought Debbie might have learned her lesson about listening to nutters on the internet…

UPDATE: Abrahams has now deleted the offending retweet, as reported by @DeletedByMPs.

UPDATE II:

Still waiting for that Eoin Clarke apology…

Order of the OTT – Steve Richard's Millie Moment

Steve Richards of the Indy is normally level headed, if often wrong. Today however he’s come out with a corker. Tweeting about Barclays he claims:

“This is the Millie Dowler moment for some banks.”

Really Steve, really?

Order of the OTT – Bruce Anderson

Guido has read Bruce Anderson’s Steve Hilton take down a couple of times now and has come to the conclusion that is worthy of an Order of the OTT. Anyone who has ever drunk in a bar in Westminster will know that Anderson takes personal credit for “discovering” Cameron and tipping him for great things when he was a mere backbencher. Since then he has been his avuncular defender in the press, though just as when he declared Dave to be “our Charles De Gaulle”, sometimes he over plays his hand. Is Steve Hilton feeding a few titbits on his way out of the door really “one of the most despicable instances of disloyalty in political history.” Probably not. And this one was filed before lunch…

UPDATE:

Olympic Order of the OTT for Jeremy Hunt

Poor Jeremy Hunt is getting frightfully carried away with his £12 billion Olympic baby:

“come and enjoy what will be the most exciting time in British history.”

Guido is looking forward to catching up with all the “excitement” after a month at the Maison Secondaire.

Order of the OTT for Jackie Ashley

Guido is happy to welcome Jacking Ashley into the Don’t Unseat Ed Miliband Association, but he’s not sure she’s doing the cause any favours with this morning’s hysterical hyperbole. While discussing Ed’s critics she compares their behaviour to US Marines urinating on dead Afghans:

“It’s a game that the Westminster village has always enjoyed. Nick Clegg was last year’s victim, now it’s Ed’s turn. If enough pundits treat him as the US marines treated the Afghan dead, and if the public notices and reflects this contempt back through opinion polls, then somehow or other he might collapse.”

They even link back to the Guardian’s own coverage of the incident, just in case you missed this gloriously unsubtle point. Guido is still trying to work out whether the comparison with holding the Leader of the Opposition to account was done with a straight face. He has a feeling it was…

Order of the OTT – "Free Schools Will Cause Riots"

Along with Alastair Campbell’s partner Fiona Millar, Francis Gilbert is the co-founder of the Local Schools Network – an anti academy front group set up to try to derail school reform. Paul Goodman over at ConservativeHome is a real fan. This morning Gilbert took to BBC Breakfast in a last ditch effort to talk down the Free School project that is seeing the first batch opening their doors this week:

FG: You’ll get a certain type of middle class parent putting their child into this school and then the local state school will take the more socially deprived pupils who don’t have the savvy parents. So you get this kind of segregation which  has led to things like the London riots in our schools already…

BBC: Let me just stop you there. You’re saying segregation in education in London schools led to the London riots..?

FG: It contributed a certain factor because you’ve got the poorest students concentrated in a quarter of our schools in this country and that’s a real problem. So we really need to solve that by bringing all our children together and this free schools programme will contribute more to this social segregation.

No doubt he is fully signed up to the non-reality based community theory that the riots were caused by teenagers having their Educational Maintainence Allowance cut…

Order of the OTT – Burn the Purnell Edition

The increasingly impressive James Purnell mooted some pretty well trodden ideas last week. The former Labour MP had the audacity to question whether millionaires should really get a pensioners free bus pass and state supplied fuel. A long overdue debate, but Labour grassroots have whipped themselves up into a fury of self-righteousness, that only they do best. The pitchforks and iPads have been out in force, culminating in one of the greatest headlines on LabourList that Guido has seen in a long time:

“Purnell is a heretic, and he’s in the wrong party”

He should then of course be burnt at the social-democratic stake right? Sentiments like that go a long way to explain Labour aren’t being taken seriously. A well deserved Order of the OTT…

Order of the OTT For Red Ken

It’s definitely time for an Order of the OTT given some of the absurd hyperbole that lefties have been spouting this week. Revolutionary darling Owen Jones gets a special commendation for his attempt to pull up the ladder with his “Abolish Oxbridge” campaign. Guido is sure it must be a spoof.

However Red Ken’s bad case of foot-in-mouth-disease has struck again, leaving even the most loyal of Labourites wincing. Showing his characteristically spectacular poor judgement, Ken described Boris’s new Chief of Staff as the “the Mladic of local government” at a campaign event last night. Eddie Lister reformed Wandsworth Council, streamlining services and creating savings. Mladic killed 18,000 Muslims. Good day for Boris.

Order of the OTT for Bob Crow

Trade union fat cat Bob “lets tax email” Crow has  been at the type-writer again. An RMT press release said today:

“Government plans to slash already inadequate health and safety inspections will give the green light to employers to cut corners and cause more workplace deaths and injuries…When ConDem ministers talk about easing regulation what they mean is removing it, and when it comes to health and safety that is a charter for death and injury.”

The nonsensical hyperbole peaks with:

“The message that the government is sending with these cuts is that nothing, even the lives and health of working people, should stand in the way of profit, and these plans are part of the government’s general attack on working people.”

Everyone got the memo? The ConDems are killers.

Order of the OTT for Karen Buck

It all becomes clear. We’ve all been so blind, but now finally someone has joined up the dots and shown us the truth. Labour front bencher Karen Buck has solved the mystery of why the government are cutting Housing Benefit. It is to force “black women, ethnic minority women and Muslim women” out of London obviously. Silence from Ed…

Order of the OTT for Alan Bennett

As the cuts start to bit so the darlings will increase their rhetoric and hyperbole. While not always agreeing with Alan Bennett, Guido usually has a lot of time for his way with words. Sadly he lets himself down badly in today’s Guardian:

“Closing libraries is child abuse.”

Cue the world’s most depressing short story about that.

Thanks to the excellent David MacLean for the tip.


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Quote of the Day

Alan Sugar on Jeremy Corbyn:

“It’s clear you alluded to students refunds to get votes from young impressionable people. You are a cheat and should resign.”

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