Extinction Rebellion has broken its New Year’s resolution after just 18 days. Having made a “controversial resolution” at the end of the year to stop vandalising property, gluing themselves to the road, and wasting everyone’s time, today they fell off the wagon and returned to their bad habits. Never make a promise you can’t keep…

A group of protesters showed up outside the Home Office this afternoon, armed with black paint and ponchos, to prat about on the pavement and scream like children. Even treating pedestrians to a strange, ritualistic dance…

To be fair, they did also promise to “stand together and become impossible to ignore” this year. Living up to that part, at least…

An Extinction Rebellion loon who vandalised Barclays’ London HQ broke down in tears during a court appearance yesterday, after the jury found her and six other activists guilty of causing over £100,000 worth of criminal damage to the building earlier this year. Carol Wood, who was the only member of the group not with a previous conviction, reportedly couldn’t hold back the waterworks once she realised smashing windows and throwing paint around might finally land her in a cell… 

The group were warned yesterday they could now face up to 18 months in prison, with the judge claiming “all options” were on the table following their conviction. The sentencing is set for January 27. Enjoy Christmas dinner, Carol, it may be a gruel-heavy February…

Co-conspirators struggling with the cost of living might want to click away.

Billionaire Sir Chris Hohn has just raked in a staggering £575 million in dividends – the biggest ever payout enjoyed by a UK individual. Now, this wouldn’t be of note – Guido isn’t in the business of wealth-based grievance politics – were it not for Hohn’s extra-curricular antics. Sir Chris is the biggest individual backer of Extinction Rebellion, bunging it an estimated £200,000. Road closures are all well and good when you can afford to avoid them…

With £575 million, Sir Chris could contribute to a range of causes. He could plant millions of trees, cover the WHO’s malaria vaccine roll-out in 10 African countries or expand free school meal coverage to 1.1 million more children. Instead, he’s paying for oat-milk-drinking interpretative dancers to prance in Trafalgar Square and glue themselves to classical art. Hohn’s penchant for spending is less surprising considering the company he keeps. He used to be Rishi Sunak’s boss.

This week, the police were probably the only ones doing more self-inflicted reputational damage than Gavin Williamson. Not only have they failed to stop M25 climate protests four days on the trot, and allowed eggs to be thrown at the king – the only people they have thrown into prison cells have been blameless journalists doing their job.

The media world were all horrified to hear the experience of LBC’s Charlotte Lynch, who ended up in a cell for five hours for reporting – at distance – the Just Stop Oil protests. Earlier in the week, a photographer and a filmmaker were also held in custody for about 13 hours.

In the end, they were all released without charge.

This morning, the Police & Crime Commissioner for Hertfordshire, David Lloyd, finally apologised to Lynch – but ruined the PR by victim-blaming journalists: they shouldn’t have been covering the protests in the first place.

“I do think that [LBC] too need to have a think about how we as a society, as a community, ensure that oxygen of publicity that Just Stop Oil is seeking is moderated, so that we don’t end up with people doing this and really they’re only doing it because they know it’s going to be reported.”

They’re not: they’re doing it because it ruins many thousands of peoples’ day. 

Blaming of the media by senior police representatives is at odds with the police’s desire to get coverage of their own responses to the protests. Four days ago, the Met invited The Sun along to a showcase arrest of Extinction Rebellion founder Roger Hallam.

So much for journalists giving the groups unnecessary oxygen…

Guido had always wondered how the eccentric coalition of unwashed fossils and pre-gap yah teens manage to maintain such a relentless and well-organised campaign on the nation’s infrastructure. Well, we now have an answer to that question. The California-based Climate Emergency Fund has provided millions to prop up a global network of eco-terrorist troublemakers. Amongst those they finance are Extinction Rebellion, Scientist Rebellion and the A22 Network, which includes both Just Stop Oil and German radicals Letzte Generation. They boast of dishing out over $4.5 million…

The Climate Emergency Fund is a Beverly Hills-based 501 (c)(3), a charitable fund given various tax exemptions, and the sources of its funding are exactly what you’d expect given its Hollywood status. Guido has investigated some of the company’s biggest names, just so we know exactly the type of hypocrites inflicting carnage on the British public:

• Aileen Getty – Yes, you read that correctly: Getty as in daughter of oil baron Jean Paul Getty. The oil heiress downplayed her own hypocrisy as she penned a moralistic Guardian op-ed in support of the protests. The jet-setting millionaire, who splits her time between East and West coasts, donated over $1,000,000 to the fund. Although that barely touches the sides for the fossil-fuel-funded liberal, who’s clearly still living large off carbon-burning capital.
• Adam McKay – The director behind Don’t Look Up has pledged over $4,000,000 to the fund. Adam is clearly content to disrupt Brits on their daily commutes whilst for years he’s publicly posted about his own international flying habits and affinity for meat-eating.
• Geralyn Dreyfous – Another Hollywood filmmaker on the company’s board. Away from her busy schedule making films and advising on soup-throwing, Geralyn makes the time to review hotels in Africa.
• Rory Kennedy – Surprise, surprise another globetrotting Hollywood director. Her opposition to oil didn’t stop her from directing a film about rocket fuel-burning trips to space.
• Sarah Ezzy – An ally of Aileen, Sarah used to work as a consultant for Booz Allen Hamilton, a company which boasts defence contractors and energy giants among its clients.
• Abigail Disney – A member of the Disney family, donated $200,000. Abigail is another film producer, whose achievements include disavowing one of her own films for Islamophobia. Oh, and she grew up with use of her dad’s personal 737 jet.
• Laura Down – A singer-songwriter turned Democrat campaigner also serves on the board. Some of her songs titles include Party Girl and Useless in LA – perhaps providing insight into the character of those who finance crippling climate protests.
• Rowena Koenig – A z-list actress given the responsibility of Development Director.
• Margaret Klein Salamon – The Executive Director of the fund. She’s managed to take time off from writing her “radical self-help guide for the climate emergency” to take trips to Australia.

The Climate Emergency Fund also boasts the fear-mongering Guardian pundits and liberal campaigners you might expect from Extinction Rebellion’s usual suspects. Perhaps the fact the arguments and methods of the eco-loons have been imported from the American left explain why they’re so at odds with British political sensibilities. So much so that even Sir Keir has seen sense on the matter…

In case being unwashed, jobless crackpots wasn’t enough, a group of eco-protesters have suffered new lows of personal humiliation.

Nine German scientists chose to glue themselves to the floor of the Wolfsburg “Porsche Pavillion”, and then complained when their host didn’t meet their demands. The request in question…”to provide us with a bowl to urinate and defecate in a decent manner”.

Guido isn’t quite sure by what standards publicly defecating in a bowl could be considered decent – clearly in the eco-lunacy community the bar for respectability is set low.

The protesters also complained that Volkswagen “turned off the heating”.

It seems a strange grievance for activists dedicated to conserving energy.