Bottoms up, the Scottish government has had another bright idea. Having settled the matter of menstrual health by appointing a male period dignity tsar, the SNP government is now on the brink of cracking climate change… by launching a review into the “health and environmental impacts” of brewing Scotch. As if spirits weren’t already low enough heading into the winter…

The review, which could see Sturgeon crack down on malt whisky consumption, will investigate the emission effects from the “angel’s share” of casks – a natural part of the brewing process in which around 2% of the brew evaporates during maturation. Holyrood has now asked researchers to look at potential “mitigation strategies” for this obvious emergency, now that Scottish whisky has become more popular in recent years and emissions have ticked up. The review will take six months, and cost the taxpayer up to £20,000…

A spokesperson for the Scotch Whisky Association said:

“Some loss of spirit from casks during maturation is a natural part of the whisky making process. Losses of ethanol average around 2 per cent per year and, as the Scottish Government has previously stated, is neither harmful to health nor impactful on the environment due to its rapid dispersal.”

A final report on the findings is eagerly expected next March. Does anyone get the sense Sturgeon’s government is on the rocks?