The SNP administration north of the border has managed to turn the launch of free period products into a best-of album of their favourite tactics, combining the gender culture wars, English xenophobia and a shameless u-turn to steal credit. Let’s start with the biggest headline grabber: ahead of the launch of the “Period Products (Free Provision) (Scotland) Act 2021, which became law yesterday, Scotland has a new period poverty tsar. His name? Jason Grant.

Jason’s task is to promote the new access to free sanitary products across schools and colleges, where he will also have to discuss issues around the menopause. The un-uterused adult human male (gadge) told the Dundee Courier, “I’m absolutely buzzing about it. It’s definitely pioneering as Scotland is the first to do this. It’s about making people aware of the availability of period products for anyone of any gender, whenever they need it.” Clearly the Scottish government believes it’s called menstruation for a reason…

There’s another more substantial cause of criticism levelled at the SNP’s latest progressive policy offering they’ve found down the back of the couch. Yesterday the party hailed the policy as proof they are “#DeliveringForScotland”. It was only a year ago, however, that the party was using the proposed free tampon policy – the case then being made by Labour MSP Monica Lennon – as an excuse to stoke anti-English sentiment. At the time, SNP Communities Cabinet Secretary Aileen Campbell said the government had “grave concerns” over “deliverability” and cost, partly because:

“We can envisage that such a provision could be to prevent people outside Scotland seeking access to the products or people accessing them to sell at a discounted rate outside Scotland.”

In other words, greedy English women could drive north of Hadrian’s wall and steal the free period products. With perfect timing, both Rishi and Liz will be spending today in Scotland promoting their new policies to increase scrutiny of the Scottish government and their civil servants…