In scenes first brought to life by Yes Minister, the EU are now threatening the very existence of the Great British banger. To avoid confusion, Boris is safe…

The salaming news comes as farmers say they will have no legal basis to slip their sausages into European markets after the end of the transition period in December.

At the moment the EU has no health certificate for goods such as fresh sausages or mince, as it has never imported the goods from third countries. Boris better be prepared to start lobbying for our frankfurters in Frankfurt…