Sky News Analyse LibDem Glee Club

Things have got so bad for hacks sent to cover the dreary LibDem conference that Sky News’ determined pol ed resorted to analysing the lyrics of last night’s Glee Club singalong:

“We’ve run out of luck, and now we’re all f**ked, oh it all just sucks…”

LibDems Longing For Clegg

One politically-confused co-conspirator took it upon themselves to join the Liberal Democrats this month. The charitable reader was however surprised to receive a slightly nostalgic membership card:

The back reads like an obituary:

A LibDem source confirms it is one of several current membership cards available, along the theme of “liberal people from history“:

“We do a range of about 11 or 12, and new members can choose whichever one they want… it’s a variety of liberal images/people from history. Lloyd George, Gladstone, Paddy, Kirsty Williams, a pair of sandals, Charles Kennedy, Shirley Williams etc. We’re launching a Tim Farron one at conference”.

Don’t all rush at once…

Shameless LibDems Bung Honours to More Donors

nick clegg sad

Next time the LibDems tell us how the House of Lords is an antiquated, corrupt body that needs reform, remember who they chose to give honours to today:

Duncan Greenland CBE: Has donated a total of £316,858.95 to the LibDems since 2004, £31,000 of which went to Clegg’s constituency.

Richard Duncalf OBE: Donated £216,000 to the party since 2007, including an individual £10,000 donation to Clegg.

Sir Anthony Ullman: Given the party £108,000 in total, including £30,000 directly to Clegg four days before he visited Ullmann’s firm in 2013.

Ian Wright CBE: Given £32,807.79 in addition to £9,000 to Clegg directly.

It stinks.

Where’s Cleggy?

Not only is Nick Clegg missing from Tim Farron’s star-studded top team, the LibDems have forgotten to include their former leader on the list of current MPs on their website:

There are only 8 of ’em, you’d have thought they could remember them all…

Clegg Turns Down Farron Job Offer


The LibDems have announced their new ‘top’ team. Clearly Nick Clegg is too busy with his speaking engagements:

“Nick Clegg was offered a post in Tim’s spokesperson team, but decided after some consideration that he wanted to take a quieter role on the back benches and would not be taking a spokesperson position at this time.”

Here are the riveting details in full:

  1. Leader: Tim Farron MP
  2. Economics: Baroness Susan Kramer
  3. Foreign Affairs/Chief Whip/Leader of the house: Tom Brake MP
  4. Defence: Baroness Judith Jolly
  5. Home Affairs: Alistair Carmichael MP
  6. Health: Norman Lamb MP
  7. Education: John Pugh MP
  8. Work and Pensions: Baroness Zahida Manzoor
  9. Business: Lorely Burt
  10. Energy and Climate Change: Lynne Featherstone
  11. Local Government: Mayor of Watford, Cllr Dorothy Thornhill
  12. Transport: Baroness Jenny Randerson
  13. Environment and Rural Affairs: Baroness Kate Parminter
  14. International Development: Baroness Lindsay Northover
  15. Culture Media and Sport: Baroness Jane Bonham-Carter
  16. Equalities: Baroness Meral Hussein-Ece
  17. Justice/Attorney General: Lord Jonathan Marks
  18. Northern Ireland: Lord John Alderdice
  19. Scotland: Willie Rennie MSP, Leader of the Scottish Liberal Democrats
  20. Wales: Kirsty Williams AM, Leader of the Welsh Liberal Democrats
  21. Campaigns Chair: Greg Mullholland MP
  22. Grassroots Campaigns: Cllr Tim Pickstone, Chair of the Association of Liberal Democrat Councillors


Clegg Whores Himself Out For $55,000

Poor Nick Clegg has seen his £134,565 Deputy Prime Minister’s salary plummet to a measly £67,000 now he is merely a lowly MP. How will he cope?

By hiring Leading Authorities, a Washington based agent, to manage his after-dinner speaking engagements. Boasting of his “internationalist approach to world affairs”, Clegg says he is available to give speeches “in five European languages”:

“For UK audiences, Clegg shares his experiences about the future of politics and the direction of the UK, specifically relating to the EU. For international groups, he explores how current UK politics affects international relations.”

How much will it set you back to book him? A cool $55,000.

Asian audiences with deeper pockets are asked to “please inquire”.

Seems a bit steep… Ken Clarke will do you a drab speech about Europe for under 10 grand…

12.5% of LibDem Parliamentary Party Elected Leader

Westminster stops still for the most riveting news since the election:

Tim Farron received 56.5% of the votes and in second place Norman Lamb received the backing of 43.5%.

It’s Farron.

Senior LibDem Demands Resurrection of Charlie Kennedy

A somewhat unfortunate blogpost went up on the LibDemFuture site yesterday written by Gareth Epps, a former parliamentary candidate who sits on his party’s federal policy committee. Among Epps’ musings about the future direction of the LibDems, published by the site last night, is this suggestion:

“Our federal structure and the presence of several political heavyweights are advantages that should be used. Demonstrating the Scottish Party’s independence from London as well as high-profile roles for senior figures – Charles Kennedy, perhaps – would be a confident and positive way to face the future.”

It would be positively miraculous. Er… who’s going to tell them?

UPDATE: Gareth gets in touch to lay the blame at the door of LibDemFuture:

“I published [the original blog] on 27 May on my website – at a time when Charlie Kennedy was very much alive.

Evidently some idiot – no way of checking who from here – has reposted it without reading the actual blog, or apparently linking to it.”

LibDem LOL

They don’t know when it happened, or why, but the LibDems were left disappointed when they pulled up the Chancellor’s Twitter page to look at his Budget photo this morning:



Theresa May Urged to Launch New Handycock Probe

Self-confessed teen fondler Mike Hancock might have lost his seat but he is not out of the woods yet. The Tory, Labour, UKIP and even LibDem group leaders in Portsmouth have all written to Theresa May demanding that the police […]


Sad Press Release of the Day

Former MP Stephen Lloyd lands West End director role

After narrowly losing his seat as the MP for Eastbourne and Willingdon, Stephen Lloyd was one of many former parliamentarians looking for a fresh challenge after May’s general election. However, it



LibDems Ask Crosby Textor Fullbrook for Help


The LibDem’s Head of Strategic Research, Tom Smithard, has written to CTF, the firm run by Lynton Crosby, Mark Textor and Mark Fullbrook which was hired by the Conservatives at great expense to do their polling and give campaign […]


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Quote of the Day

Lord Sugar on Jeremy Corbyn:

“If they ever got anywhere near electing him and him being the Prime Minister then I think we should all move to China or somewhere like that and let this place just rot.”

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