The career of Guido’s 2nd favourite LibDem, Lembit Opik, has taken another spectacular turn:

A great stunt by rock and roll kids The Good Suns.

The smart money is on Cameron not reshuffling until after the Olympics and opting for a quick yellow for yellow swap if Huhne is forced out, but that hasn’t stopped some intriguing ideas being floated around Tory circles. Firstly there was the hilarious “bigging up” of Sarah Teather, whose civil servants give a very different picture from the one painted in Black Dog:

“Small but perfectly formed Lib Dem Schools Minister Sarah Teather is being tipped by friends of Michael Gove to succeed Chris Huhne as Energy Secretary if he is forced to quit over his speeding offence wrangle. ‘Like most of us, Michael didn’t rate Sarah but he has changed his view after seeing how she sends mandarins twice her size packing,’ said a friend of Gove.”

Whoever Gove’s friend is, he’s a master of reverse psychology. Guido is sure that many tears will be shed if Sarah does move on from Education.

Today’s pipe dream is shifting Vince Cable from BIS over to DECC. There was vicious briefing against the Sage of Twickenham in the Sun today, with unknown Tory Ministers accusing him of stunting growth:

“Cable is obsessed with punishing the bankers — and little else.He has failed to deliver any meaningful strategy to help struggling British companies. Time is running out for us to get this right. We’re doing not nearly enough — and we won’t until Vince gets out of the way.”

Do they really want to put him in charge of growth-choking green-taxes?

With the announcement coming in the morning, in all likelihood it will be Ed Davey or Jeremy Browne laying awake in wonder tonight. There is talk of Norman Lamb and Jo Swinson moving up a rung as a result. Guido doubts we will see the return of David  Laws to the Cabinet, but he could well take the vacant Junior Minister slot. 

The pre-announcement of an announcement does not bode too well…

No invite to Davos for Chuka Umunna. After comparing running RBS to being a local NHS Chief Executive, the acceptable face of Milibandism told the Today programme that bonuses should be linked to performance. He failed to mention that Stephen Hester’s bonus will do exactly that. RBS are not giving him cash, but share options worth £963,000. He will not be able to claim it until 2014, so if RBS shares drop, his bonus will drop. With no one willing to take Chuka on this morning, it was left to John Humphrys to paint the picture of doom at what would have happened to RBS, and taxpayers’ money, if Hester and his board had walked out.

Elsewhere LibDem Jeremy Browne has said Hester should turn the bonus down. Interesting positioning from the right-wing LibDem.

Lining up for Huhne’s job?

By all account the Mayor’s  turn at the 1922 Committee hit the spot last night. James Forysth reports that Boris “left no erogenous zone unstroked”, but what Guido hears he said of the LibDems is worth noting. When asked “what are you doing about the Liberals?” he replied:

“Ah, our beloved coalition partners. Crikey. Haven’t even thought about them. What am I doing about the Liberals? When they become a threat I’ll come up with a strategy. What are we doing about the Liberals? …what should I be doing about the Liberals?”

Apparently the Tory backbenchers replied with cries of “love-bomb them”. “What’s that? Love them? Righty ho.” Classic Boris, but rather dampened by the news this morning that the LibDems will not be budging on his proposed airport. The Guardian claim that Downing Street is blaming Boris for letting the yellows throw a spanner in the works with his briefing to the Telegraph. He’d do well to remember that the love-bombing is not mutual… 

Good on Labour’s Farooq Ahmed for declaring he will remain a councillor in Rochdale, despite being grassed up by his own team for smoking a spliff. Having been booted out of the Labour Party, he was going to resign his office, yet now declares he has “overwhelming support from the local community”. Surely the LibDems will welcome him with open arms?

Vince Cable once attacked the “pin-striped Scargills” of banking, adding for good measure that the LibDems didn’t rely on friends in the City for funding. No, not any more.

The biggest donor in the history of the Liberal Democrat Party was one pin-striped Michael Brown, who gave them £2.4 million for a front-row seat sipping champagne next to Charlie Kennedy.  He turned out to be a pin-striped thief and was charged with money laundering, fraud and theft before he went on the run.  He has been arrested in the Dominican Republic…

After last week, Nick Clegg might struggle to land that cosy job in Europe that everyone seems to think he will opt for before the next election. That’s not to say a post-Clegg LibDem world is not being gamed. Huhne is out, Farron is in but dim, and Ed Davey is keeping his powder dry by saying very little as a junior minister. On the day that Farron attacks Cameron, there’s a dose of realism from one LibDem voice – Jeremy Browne. In an interview with the Standard he notes, correctly, that the LibDems are being boxed in as the pro-EU and AV party:

“I think there is a danger that we are defined by a relatively small set of issues that are relevant and significant but do not give a rounded picture of what the Liberal Democrats are in government in order to achieve.”

It’s an interesting salvo against Clegg, without actually twisting the knife. Eying Browne pressing the flesh on the Christmas party scene, Guido couldn’t help but think the LibDems would be foolish to overlook him as leadership material simply because he’s an Orange Booker. One to watch…

For those co-conspirators who missed ITV’s This Morning yesterday, here is what Guido’s drinking buddy Lembit is up to nowadays. Modelling underwear. Where did it all go wrong?

David Laws writes in The Times…

“Liberal Democrats must also accept that the City, however unpopular at present, is a national interest worth protecting. And we must accept that the challenge for the EU is to do fewer things, but to do those things better — “doing less to do more”, as Mr Clegg once described it. We should be leading a fight to reform the EU to make it more liberal, more democratic and more focused on the big international challenges, rather than on micromeddling in national matters.”