Friday, September 28, 2012

Gordon’s Reality Check

If the Prime Mentalist didn’t already know just how much everyone misses him, he will now. Gordon was supposed to speak at a press conference at the UN in New York last night but had to cancel after just one journalist turned up. McMental had hoped to enthrall a room of hacks with a speech about his latest schools initiative but was left red-faced when he was confronted with an empty room. It’s almost tragic. Almost…

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Jonah’s Tranquil Vision

In the wake of the carnage he wrought by opening the NYSE on Tuesday, Gordon has been speaking out about the state of the economy. Yesterday morning Reuters reported:

“Europe is enjoying a moment of calm due to the European Central Bank’s plan to buy debt of euro zone countries, but the region will struggle to solve more fundamental problems, former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown said on Tuesday.”You’re in the new tranquillity period,” Brown said.”

By yesterday afternoon there were riots on the streets of Athens and Madrid, Spanish bond yields started to soar again.

Fears of Spanish bailout wiped £23 billion off British markets as the FTSE plunged 91.62 points.

The Prime Mentalist did always have problems with the concept of tranquillity…

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

He’s Still Jonah Brown

As we predicted beforehand, the Jonah effect wiped over 100 points off the value of the Dow and saw the NASDAQ experience its worst day since June. If you watch the video closely you’ll see that he even screwed up “ringing the bell” to open Wall Street.

He’s still the accursed one-eyed son of the manse…

Sell! Sell! Sell!

Any whisper of greenshoots will be wiped out at 14:30 GMT when Jonah Brown rings the bell at the New York Stock Exchange:

“On Tuesday, September 25, Gordon Brown, UN Special Envoy for Global Education and former UK Prime Minister, and his wife Sarah Brown, founding Chair of the Global Business Coalition for Education will visit the New York Stock Exchange and ring The Opening Bell. In his capacity as UN Special Envoy for Global Education, Mr. Brown is joining with UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon at the UNGA this week to launch Education First, a UN initiative to put education on top of the development agenda.”

Arrrrrgh…

UPDATE: Oh no:

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Bad Omen for Tom Daley Tomorrow

The Curse of Cameron meme didn’t last very long, especially given Team GB had their most successful track and field day with the PM cheering them on in the stadium last weekend. What it did prove is quite how much Guido’s Jonah Brown campaign clearly got under people’s skin. The problem was that one was actually a real curse. So on that note, Guido is sad to say it’s not looking good for young diver Tom Daley, who having missed out on a medal already is taking part in the individual 10m diving tomorrow. This is what Sarah Brown just tweeted:

Will he be able to smash the curse of Jonah Brown?

Via @grimreaperblog

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Fools Gold

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Picture: Compare and Contrast PMs’ Body Language

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Gordon Does His Bit For Team GB

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Gordon Brown In Shock Sedition Trial

Guido got his hopes up when he saw that Gordon Brown would be appearing in the dock in a Kuala Lumpur court, but sadly the Prime Mentalist will only be a witness rather than a suspect. According to Malaysian newspaper The Sun Daily, Gordon has been summoned by the defence in a bizarre sedition trial halfway across the planet. At least that gives him another chance to rack up some more air miles…

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Jet-Setting Former PMs Funded By Taxpayer

Mad Frankie Maude has released the figures showing how much former Prime Ministers have been claiming in allowances over the last year. Both Tony Blair and John Major asked the taxpayer for the maximum £115,000 in order to “meet the costs of public duties“, while Margaret Thatcher claimed £109,191. Former Prime Mentalist Gordon Brown made sure no one can say that he’s worse value than Tony, undercutting him by a crafty £1.83. Guido doesn’t quite understand why Blair, Brown and Major need a hundred grand each from the taxpayer each year while they make millions swanning around the world…

Via William Green.

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times


Rising Stars
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George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


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