The Former Prime Mentalist

The rumour mill is in full swing this afternoon. There’s a whisper on the wind that some age-old speculation might soon finally be confirmed. Chatter is rife that Gordon Brown has been spending stints in a London hospital. For psychological reasons.

The former Prime Minister has not been seen properly in public since walking into the Downing Street sunset. There was a sighting in a Fife supermarket and Sarah has obviously been busy securing her book deal. If Gordon doesn’t appear soon then there might just be reason to believe the crazy rumours are true…

Developing…

UPDATE: Usually reliable sources have pointed Guido toward the Royal Edinburgh Hospital rather than a London hospital.

Caroline’s Colt Following

There was tension amongst Tory boys as word spread that new MP Caroline Nokes was getting turned over by a Sunday paper at the weekend. There were sighs of relief from many a MP, councillor and party hands when it emerged in the Mirror that it was Councillor James Dinsdale who had been photographed entering Nokes’s hotel and later, somewhat ungentlemanly, confirmed a sexual affair. The former Chief Executive of the National Pony Society is said to be a formidable rider and practising evangelical Christian.

In April on the campaign trail Nokes signed the “Westminster 2010 : Declaration of Christian Conscience” a pledge to make sure her career in Parliament focused on “protecting human life, protecting marriage, and protecting freedom of conscience… creating and maintaining strong families, caring communities and a just society.” Her husband is said to be in shock. He clearly never went to Party conference with “Shagger Nokes” as former Tory Chief Whip David MacLean named her.

Sandra Gidley, Nokes’s defeated LibDem rival is making noise, suggesting that a re-run of the election is in order given that Nokes lied so blatantly to the voters regarding the pledge. Elsewhere David Law’s Tory opponent is similarly stirring the pot suggesting that Laws’s gave a false impression of his expenses bill of health and his campaign was “a pack of lies”. Nothing like a bit of scandal to get the coalition feathers ruffled on the ground.

Labour’s Loonies Linger On

Guido hears that organisers of the weekend’s Compass conference were pleasantly surprised by the attendance. The fact there was a Labour leadership hustings certainly helped. If anything the conference should serve as a much-needed reminder for the candidates of quite how unelectable the left of the Labour Party is. Take a selection of propaganda they were giving out on behalf of dictatorial governments:

Venezuela Solidarity Campaign:

“Hugo Chavez today leads one of the most progressive governments in the world… transforming the lives of millions. The old ruling oligarchy and their allies in the US do not intend to allow Chavez to continue to redistribute power and wealth. Numerous attempts to destabilise and over throw Venezuela’s democratically elected government have taken place”

Cuba Solidarity Campaign:

“Cuba has a healthy, educated and vibrant society. The 1959 Cuban Revolution brought great advances in health, education and culture for the Cuban people, and continues to give hope and inspiration to millions of people across the world.”

These leaflets weren’t handed out by activists on the fringe but included in the official conference packs. The loony left is back and they are making noise, unless Labour are careful, they are going to upset the apple cart…

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Winnick : Expenses System in Chaos

Balls Plays Sympathy Card

Ed Balls is looking for sympathy with claims in the Mirror this morning that he was bullied at school

“I was teased and bullied right through my school years about my name and stammer and it was merciless.

I wouldn’t say it reduced me to floods of tears but it was really tough.”

Guido has personal testimony from his former school-mates that he was indeed bullied because he was as insufferable then as he is now.  Balls also claims that the Tory high-command threw a lot of money at his constituency during the general election because they fear him most. Like his claim that his personal share of the vote only went down because of the BNP, it doesn’t stand scrutiny. His opponent raised a lot of money online because people disliked him so much, his vote went down for the same reason.  The BNP actually saw their vote go down in his now ultra-marginal constituency.

The truth is that Balls winning the leadership of the Labour Party would be cheered in CCHQ and Cowley Street.  Balls polls the worst negative rating of any front bencher, from any party.

Few Takers for Clegg Speech

Nick CleggClegg’s press secretary, Rae Stewart, was “strictly” limiting attendance for a keynote speech by Nick Clegg tomorrow to “one journalist per publication” on Thursday.

From: rae.stewart@xxx.gov.uk
Date: Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:26:37 +0100
Subject: Advance extracts of DPM speech on Monday

Please find attached (and in text form below) embargoed extracts from the Deputy Prime Minister’s speech to the Institute for Government tomorrow. Please also note that access to hear the speech is limited, which is why I asked that those of you who would like to attend email me by 17.00 Friday. Not many have done so yet, but as I suspect that quite a few of you will want to be there I’ll extend the deadline until 11.30 tomorrow morning.

Rae seems to have wildly overestimated the box-office appeal of Clegg who is basically going to say “There is nothing progressive about condemning ourselves and our children to decades of debt, higher interest rates, fewer jobs.” Guido will give it a miss, and suspect it won’t be quite the sell out event they anticipate…

UPDATE :The media grid in Downing Street doesn’t seem very coordinated, Cameron is making a statement on Afghanistan at 14.30, the same time Clegg is giving his speech.

Ellie (and Guido) Want #Balls4Leader

Remember Ellie Gellard (pictured) launching Gordon’s manifesto? She is hoping to repeat her campaign success all over again and is leading the online Twitter campaign to make Ed Balls the next leader of the Labour Party. It is going well, punters on the Political Smarkets betting exchange give him a 10% chance of winning. Ellie tweeted yesterday asking for messages of support for Blinky:

If you’re supporting @EdBallsMP and would like to tell us why, email me: ellie@edballs4labour.org

So Guido sent his own message of support and proudly added a #Balls4Leader twibbon to his own Twitter profile.

From: Guy Fawkes
Date: Sat, Jun 12, 2010 at 10:45 AM
Subject: Why I want Ed to lead the Labour Party
To: ellie@edballs4labour.org

Dearest Ellie,

I think over the years Ed has shown the attributes, personality and judgement that would, if he were to become leader, guarantee Labour will remain in opposition. So Ed and I share the same goal, his victory over all other candidates for Labour leader.

Regards,

Guido

Guido would urge co-conspirators to show their support and add the twibbon to their Twitter profile. Ed can count on a lot of cross party support for his campaign to become Labour leader.

Many in CCHQ and Cowley Street have their fingers crossed that the Labour politician who polls the worst with the public could lead the opposition…

Saturday Seven Up

7upIf you were not one of the 68,530 visitors who viewed 323,722 pages over the last seven days, here are the seven most popular stories (in order of popularity) that you missed:

You’re either in front of Guido, or you are behind…

Goodbye Melissa Lightwater

So the Londoners’ Diary got the scoop that was four years in the making – the Speccie’s secretly authored column, Tamzin Lightwater, the Bridget Jones of the Tory world, was penned by the Sunday Telegraph’s Melissa Kite. Entertaining readers and […]

+ READ MORE +

Ed Balls Campaign Diary*

Well yesterday was a disaster. Surgical glue came unstuck under the studio lights and so did I. Ended up blinking at a fair old pace. Thought the Daily Politics was going to be fine when the Jo woman started out […]

+ READ MORE +

No More Privilege

Remember those three MPs on trial? Everything seems to have gone a bit quiet about them until today. Elliot Morley, David Chaytor, Jim Devine and Lord Hanningfield’s attempt to use Parliamentary Privilege in their defence has been thrown out, although […]

+ READ MORE +

Friday Caption Contest (Three Lions Edition)

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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