Monday, April 14, 2008

Summer Fashion Must Haves

Available now from Guido’s online merchandise store.
Well worth a tenner or so…

Download and listen to Jilted John’s Gordon is a Moron.MP3

Bet Wenger is Sorry Now

Guido has confirmed this with Ladbrokes: back in February Arsenal were the odds-on favourites to win Football’s Premier League title. In March Gordon held a summit with President Sarkozy at Arsenal’s Emirates stadium.

Many of Guido’s co-conspirators predicted that what has now come to pass would result. The curse of Jonah Brown hit Wenger’s boys in red as surely as if the PM himself had attended each and every match since.

The once-mighty Arsenal were beaten by Manchester United yesterday and are now out of the running for the Premier League title. They were doomed from the moment they agreed to let Gordon on to the pitch…

Schrödinger’s Guardian

Guido is really getting into the concept of quantum politics, it certainly raised the tone of the discussion in the comments on the blog above the usual webmong level on Saturday. It appears that the developing theory of quantum politics will also have to factor in the time dimension to explain the Guardian’s headlines. The subs must be under instruction to make every poll positive for Ken Leavingsoon. Last Wednesday it was good news for the newt lover. He was in the lead!Today it good news as well. Ken is catching up on Boris!

How do they do that? Quantum duality again?

Elsewhere Sir Michael White says (There is no alternative to Gordon) his Guardian colleague Polly is only writing nasty things about Gordon because she is bored and it is parliamentary recess. There may be some truth in that, still Guido is so enjoying the whole meltdown by former Brown fans. The most vicious attacks on the Brownies are coming from Guardian writers and readers. It is really getting like here over there (with a little less swearing).

Aaronovitch : From Walthamstow to the Caymans

Loudmouth commie turned warmongering Blair fan, David Aaronovitch, has come a long way on his political journey. He will also travel a long way for lunch it seems. Last month he was speaking at a dinner in Walthamstow, troughing at a fundraiser with Neal Lawson of Compass, the left-wing pressure group that pushed so hard for Brown to replace Blair.

This Wednesday he will be troughing at the Ritz-Carlton in the Cayman Islands, where he will no doubt be ranting to bankers, fund managers and other running dogs of capitalism as a guest of the Cayman Islands Financial Services Association. Clearly he is taking the fight for socialism to the enemy…

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Friday, April 11, 2008

Schrödinger’s Brown

Only quantum politics explains how Gordon Brown…

  • stands for being different from Blair and being the same
  • is going to leave and stay in Iraq
  • cuts the NHS and expands it
  • emits and cuts back CO2 emissions; is anti-green and pro-green
  • is regressive and progressive; right wing and left wing
  • will be at the Olympic games and not at them
  • was against and in favour of obtaining a mandate to govern the British people
  • wanted a referendum and opposes a referendum
  • was both at the Lisbon treaty ceremony and not at it
  • stands for more and less borrowing
  • has ended and started the boom and bust cycle.

Hat-tip : Deconvoluter

Friday Caption Contest (Cleggover)

Kick in the Balls

This is pretty addictive – a role playing game. Once you master the keyboard skills you (as Jack Straw) can head butt, kick, punch, round house, upper cut, right hook, elbow on jump on Ed Balls. The parliamentary web-servers are overloaded with players this morning…

This game has been produced by Her Majesty’s Official Opposition. The Guidoisation of democracy continues…

Why Do Brownies Like American Losers?

The rumour in PR Week that Stephen Carter wants Mark Penn to come over and advise Brown dumbfounds Guido. Penn, a pollster, was supposedly fired in disgrace from the Clinton campaign after he was found to be taking money to lobby against Hillary’s own policies. (It is all a bit of a sham, she doesn’t really believe in the policy, he isn’t really fired). He hasn’t exactly proved to be the wisest of counsels to Clinton has he? Clearly he will be perfect for Brown.

Gordon has fallen out with Bob Shrum, the unrivalled adviser to 8 losing Democratic Party presidential campaigns. Shrum was last seen at Heathrow, fleeing the country after a bollocking from an ungrateful Brown.

Still, the payments he picked up via the Smith Institute during his time as an adviser to Brown will cushion his hurt…

Forza Italia : Silvio on Women

Guido has a soft spot for Silvio and is looking forward to his return to power, not least because he comes out with crackers like this:
“The left has no taste, not even when it comes to women… As for ours being more beautiful, I say that because in parliament they have no competition.”

Guido thinks he has a point, and old Silvio knows a thing or two about women. It seems like only yesterday that a paparazzo got a long lens shot of the pocket billionaire canoodling with a couple of young women.

Conservative women age better than lefty ladies claims Silvio. Maybe it is because they give personal grooming a higher priority, wear more expensive clothes, spend more on cosmetics and at their hairdressers, or just have better taste – who knows? Heterosexual men have little understanding of the mechanics, they just admire the result. Of course there are splendid exceptions, however in general, once they get past thirty, the best beauties are more interested in their stock portfolios than social justice. No doubt this will be condemned as a thoughtcrime, it is still true though.


Seen Elsewhere

Gove Loses WWI Battle | Conservative Woman
5 Reasons Labour Likely to Win General Election | Sunny Hundal
Dave Surrounded By Topless Women | Sun
UN Loony says Britain Most Sexist Country | Sun
Farage is a Good Reason to Leave the EU | Dan Hannan
UKIP Blocked Expenses Questions | Times
NHS Showdown Coming | Paul Goodman
Sons of Brown | Telegraph
All Three Parties Mulling Leadership | Staggers
Isn’t George Great | Simon Jenkins
Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP


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Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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