Saturday, May 10, 2008

ICM Whisper Number Puts By-Election Closer Than Thought

An ICM poll for the Mail on Sunday tomorrow will put it neck and neck in Crewe & Nantwich, with the Tories on 43% to Labour’s 39% and the LibDems trailing far behind on 16%. Believe it or not Guido has backed Labour on Betfair on the back of this, their 3.5 price seemed a bit rich given the narrow 4% difference.

What will have the mobile phone ricocheting around No. 10 is the startling finding that Labour voters would rather have Cameron than Brown as PM. Gordon is dead man ranting.

Class War By-Election

This is from an official Labour leaflet being distributed in the poorer socio-economic areas of Crewe & Nantwich. You can’t be wealthy and vote-worthy apparently. Do they realise that Gordon is a multi-millionaire?* Point 4 is real knuckle-dragging dog-whistle stuff. Surprised they didn’t stick on a picture of Gordon with a Union Jack and quote his British Jobs for British Workers speech. Desperate times require desperate tactics…

Incidentally, the Tory candidate’s farmhouse is nowhere near as grand as, say, David Miliband’s multi-million pound inherited home…


*Gordon’s assets include a pension package, paid for by you, worth over £2 million.

By-Election, What By-Election Prime Minister?

Guido can imagine Stephen Carter telling a heavily sedated Brown on Wednesday after PMQs of the plans for the weekend:-

Carter : We’re going somewhere nice for the weekend, get some sunshine. We have booked a trip to the Eden Project in the South West, Cornwall, then on to Plymouth.

Brown: [rocking in his chair] What about the by-election? Where is it?

Carter:
No by-election PM, we are going to see the flowers in Cornwall and visit an old peoples home in Plymouth. Take it easy, have a weekend break.

Gordon is on an official visit to Plymouth, which is 251 miles away from Crewe. Brown couldn’t be further away if he went to Edinburgh (242 miles), in any event he wouldn’t want to go for a weekend rest in Edinburgh now it is under Salmond’s control and Wendy is rebelling against him.

Whereas Cameron and Clegg are up in Crewe and Nantwich backing their candidates to the hilt, taking every local photo-op available, Brown’s handlers are keeping him as far out of sight as possible. No doubt fearful of the inevitable consequences of the Jonah curse of the one eyed son of the manse…

UPDATE : At the old people’s home, Gordon was introduced to Maisie Wright, 94. “Hello, I’m Gordon Brown, the prime minister” he said as he proffered his hand. “That’s nice” replied Maisie, “Wilf over there thinks he is Jesus Christ.” Old, but good.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Like Al Gore Invented the Internet,Gordon Reckons A Brit Invented the iPod

In that interview with Fern yesterday Gordon claimed a Brit invented the iPod. Which will come as news to Tony Fadell, born and educated in Michigan. He also claimed hospitals were now clean…

Called to Account

Clegg’s office just called. They will be handing the aforementioned expense claim details for Clegg over* on Wednesday. Can’t wait to find out if he has spent on bedroom furnishings…


*See what Guido did there?

Friday Caption Contest (Tamsin’s Crewe Edition)

This caption contest uses an old photo from Tamsin’s days as a Welsh AM. Alas Gordon has yet to be seen in Crewe and Nantwich putting his curse on her campaign to inherit her mother’s seat.

Could this photo have the same Jonah effect as the one Gordon had with Ken? Here’s hoping…

The Blog You Love, They Hate

Julia Hobsbawm’s Editorial Intelligence held a soiree at the RSA on Wednesday about the “Power of the Commentariat“. They had surveyed a hundred or so of the pundit class and invited them to the event to discuss their findings. The great and the good of the chatterati voted Polly Toynbee the most influential columnist and (outside Big Media) Guido the most influential blogger in Britain. Some of the great and the good didn’t like that one little bit.
What insight did these editorial titans take from that? Simon Jenkins, Suzanne Moore, Charles Clarke and Polly obsessed about the uncouth comments from the co-conspirators and CiFers. They are the people. The people you don’t meet at Hampstead dinner parties or in the village deli of your Italian villa. The people who are sick and tired of the metropolitan elite can now tell you so at the bottom of your own article. Polly clearly hates the indignity of being told she is wrong by the CiF mob where her colleagues can see it and laugh along. They really don’t like it up ‘em do they?

Polly basically said Guido can’t be good because he doesn’t like politicians. Simon Jenkins reckoned Guido, Dale and ConservativeHome were too SW1-focused. Charles Clarke said we were self obssessed (nobody laughed). Suzanne Moore said Guido is a wanker in his bedroom. Daniel Finkelstein was the only one of the Commentariat to defend bloggers.

Lets deal with these in order:

  • Guido is cynical about politicians and their motives – as are most people outside the Commentariat – so what? Is that the wrong approach? Not in Guido’s judgement, forinstance apart from Matthew Parris, who of the Commentariat said Gordon Brown would be a total disaster and found out as such rapidly? From right to left he was applauded and lauded by the entire herd of metropolitan chatterers.
  • Guido does despise most politicians, unlike Polly, who showed her good judgement in boosting Gordon Brown so fervently. Now by her own admission, though even recently so full of admiration, she realises he is not up to the job.
  • Guido, Dale and Tim Montgomerie are political bloggers, so it would be odd if we did not in fact write about Westminster where they do, errrm, politics.
  • Charles Clarke’s comment is very odd because he is so full of amour propre as to be risible.
  • The humourless feminazi Suzanne Moore has said it before and she is still wrong. Guido has an office…

If you can bring yourself to listen to them whine at length, the podcast is here. Of the voices heard only Hobsbawm, Finkelstein and a chap from Microsoft “got it”, he said he thought it sounded like he had entered a room full of whigs complaining about pamphleteers. Exactly.

Where Are Clegg’s Expenses?

It is 43 days since Nick Clegg told us with regard to MP’s expenses

“…there is no earthly reason why the rest of the information should not be published immediately. Any delay will only add to the British public’s distrust in their politicians.”

It is a month since they were due to be delivered according to the time-table given to Guido by his spin-mistress Hannah Gardiner. Where are the expenses?

Hannah gave an entirely different (and somewhat irrelevant) explanation to Sky’s Cheryl Smith. If there is one thing Guido learnt from Hain’s expenses scandal, is that delay is a sign of something to hide. Guido has called Clegg’s office repeatedly asking when his expenses will be published. As Clegg told us himself, delay will only add to distrust…

Portillo is a Broadcaster Not a Tory

Iain Dale gave Portillo a great tongue lashing on election night which has sparked off a wave of Polly-bashing. Guido has a confession to make, he was if not a Portillista certainly a sympathiser. In fact a couple of decades ago Guido worked for David Hart,* the breaker of the NUM and Scargill’s nemesis. Less well known is that Hart had been grooming and encouraging Portillo for years in readiness for greater things. Hart was also the man who installed the phone lines prematurely in preparation for an abortive Portillo leadership challenge. It backfired when it leaked out and undermined Portillo badly. In retrospect perhaps this was fortunate.

Portilllo’s living is nowadays derived from him being respected as someone who understands the Conservative Party and he is drafted in to provide balance and a non-left-wing perspective on the BBC. Oddly he seems completely unsympathetic to Cameron, in fact peevishly hostile. Reports that he voted against the Conservatives last week are incredible if true. Might it not be appropriate therefore for the BBC to find another balancing figure who is a broadcaster and a Tory? Like, errm, Iain Dale?

*Something I have been meaning to blog for sometime – David Hart is seriously ill. He has done his country great service. His role in defeating NUM thugs and ending Scargill’s Marxist dreams make him deserving of the highest honours. He also personally financed and supported a network behind the Iron Curtain which was crucial in assisting dissidents and later in pressurising Gorbachev on perestroika in the Western media. These are just two examples of his good works. For some unexplained reason he was not ennobled by Margaret Thatcher, perhaps an oversight, perhaps he fell out of her favour. By convention the leader of the Conservative Party is able to put forward some names for honours every year for services to the party. David Hart may not have made any donations to the party lately, but he did help Thatcher with her speeches and battles back in the day. His work deserves recognition.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

+++ YouGov Whisper Number : 26% Tory Lead +++

Did Guido mention before that we told you so?


John Hutton didn’t mince his words when he gave Nick Robinson his prediction. He was right.


He made this forecast (video here) to a Question Time audience. He got it wrong, it took five months.


They are going to miss three times election winning Blair when he is gone. Wait and see…
26 June 2007

UPDATE : It occurs to Guido that Michael Portillo may now have to revise his opinion. So Brillo, tonight on the This Week show, ask Polly if he still thinks, as he did only two months ago, that “Brown will win the election”.

Seen Elsewhere

Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Hungary’s Heir to Thatcher | Conservative Woman
Farage and Salmond Both Want Outopia | David Aaronovitch
More Missing UKIP Money | Times
Church Should Fight Evil of Welfare Dependency | Stephen Glover
1 in 16 Pick Up Infections in Filthy NHS Hospitals | Mail
Let’s Get Evangelical | David Cameron
From the IRA to Windsor Castle | WSJ
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
Mo Ansar’s Silence | Adrian Hilton


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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