June 12th, 2014

Ed Spilliband


  1. 1
    Raving Loon says:

    Ignore the polls and the “experts”, this is why Ed won’t be PM.

  2. 2
    Old Rat says:

    Wat a knobber

  3. 3

    Who would employ this geez in the real world?

  4. 4
    Gerhard says:

    What the heck are the badges?

    Achievements in weading, whiting or withmathic perhaps?

  5. 5
    everard says:

    Mr Pastry did this a lot, but then again he was a slapstick comedian.

  6. 6
    The Bernnie Winters of Politics says:

  7. 7
    HUD says:

    Anybody would think we’ve never had a weirdo PM.

  8. 8
    The Critic says:

    FFS he’s resorting to reading tea leaves to guide his strategy. Didn’t anyone tell him you are supposed to empty the cup first. Cheaper than Axelrod I suppose.

  9. 9
    Owzat! says:

  10. 10
    hehe says:

    The Labour Party apparently.

  11. 11
    Dave Axelrod says:

    Shoot me please just fucking shoot me now.

  12. 12
    Darwin says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Ed Miliband involuntarily grimaces at the sight of naked breasts.

    He seems like the type.

  13. 13
    Drummond Base says:

    He almost makes Gordon Brown look normal.

  14. 14
    Camp Freddy says:

    My Brother is great but I think he is a bit mixed up (or have I got it wrong)

    He lives in a big gaff in the countryside with his Italian wife and 6 kids

    He works in the city as some kind of tax advisor, my sister in law works for the EU, they have a nanny, a second home abroad and the older kids go to public (not private) school

    He votes Labour!

    a few weeks ago he lectured me on the dangers of voting UKIP

  15. 15
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    Wow the new Mr Bean is caught on camera…not sure if a lisped gutteral grunt will work, but perhaps it will be better.

  16. 16
    Nose on Lens says:

  17. 17
    silly mid off says:

    He’s failed that test then.

  18. 18
    Fishy says:

    Not really born under the oak tree, was he?

  19. 19
    Weally_Nerbous says:

    He’s probably got a good deal of things to be nervous about.
    So would I be if I were him.
    i.e. must I really may a pact with that UKIP B’stard?

  20. 20
    Photo op with Adolph's shipmate says:

  21. 21
    Fishy says:

    Actually, she seems to be too bright and attractive to be a socialist.

  22. 22
    young werther says:

    She looks scared that if he touches something it will fall off.

  23. 23
    Laboursceptic says:

    This is one reason why Ed SHOULD NOT be PM, but of course with the keen help of the BBC, Guardian, Oxfam, Catholic Church, Church Of England, Muslims, UKIP, Sikhs & others – oh and of course strategically placed “postal/ proxy voters”, you just know that Britain will sleepwalk into this nightmare!

  24. 24
    Ed like sex.. is nice says:

    It’s Borat but without the tash.

  25. 25
    LOL says:

    It’s just a tennis ball ffs.

  26. 26
    dai creased-upp says:

    press gang?

  27. 27
    Axelrod The Wise says:

    Right Ed remember you have to wear a Bib when eating a bacon sandwich and drinking coffee.

  28. 28
    c says:

  29. 29
    Rickytshirt says:

    Someone giving him a bib and a tippy cup, ffs.

  30. 30
    Llareggub says:

    He’s become the Dan Quayle of Britain, hasn’t he? Somebody should ask him to spell “potatoe”. Or whether they speak Latin in Latin America.

  31. 31
    Fishy says:

    He and the BBC complained bitterly when the Mail ran a (true) story about his father, they told us that the old Marxist was out of bounds.

    When it suits him though, he conjures him up again…this time to tell us that his Dad was at the D Day landings.

  32. 32
  33. 33
    The Old Stoker says:

    As your dad was a socialist on the ship he achieved the rank of chief petty arsehole.

  34. 34
    Voiceover man says:

    Thay cheethe Gwommet.

  35. 35
    anon says:

    “set up ironing board”

    because those horizontal creases are so uncool.

  36. 36
    The Precious Parachutist says:

    Bacon sandwiches, tea, bat and ball. What weird lives you English people lead. I’ll be glad when I am not made to mix with you anymore, me old china, me old diamond geezer, leave it out!

  37. 37
    Travelodger says:

    I guess Lenny mistook Ed for a Premier Inn

  38. 38
    Patriot says:

    I really hope not. Cameron has faults but give me even Cameron and Clegg than Militwat and Harperson. Not to mention Ballsup!

    Think people before you vote. Please think.Anyone who can beat a Labour candidate, strategically vote for them. I cannot stress enough the utmost importance of this. Think before you vote!

  39. 39
    Shitehawk says:

    The badges?


  40. 40
    Facts says:

    He wasn’t a mate of Adolf’s at all. They just happened to be on the same ship at D Day. But that didn’t stop Labour from exploiting the vague association.

  41. 41
    Mike says:

    A Berni (Winters) Inn.

  42. 42
    Stigerden says:

    Not really a safe pair of hands is he?

  43. 43
    Cinna says:

    Of course he can’t play cricket he’s not English. Or Australian, or Indian or South African, or…well, fill the rest in yourselves.

  44. 44
    Rounders says:

    He’s American?

  45. 45
    Lurch to the Left says:

    He looks like a plonker but behind the idiot march lies a range of failed socialist policies

  46. 46
    Fuck off it's a PR stunt says:

    Walking around with that much slap on in the middle of the day I’d hardly call her an ordinary mum.

  47. 47
    Cinna says:

    She’s some kind of Labour groupie. Yesterday in here someone published a tweet from Chuck us yer money and she posing with him in a pic.

  48. 48
    Bloody hell! says:

  49. 49
    Lenny Henry says:

    I wuv him!

    That photo will help my career sort of carry on, despite never saying anything actually witty or funny.

  50. 50
    Cinna says:

    His Dad was at the D Day landings? Which side was he on?

  51. 51
    JH32984923-035 says:

    Miliband is the weird kid awkward who gets invited to your childhood birthday party because your mums know each other.

    He proceeds to irritate everyone, sneezes over all the food, spills the Wotsits, and sits on and breaks your favourite new toy. He then cries and makes excuses when he doesn’t win the games, because they are so horribly competitive.

  52. 52
    Cinna says:

    What a pillock. No, I meant Lenny Henry.

  53. 53
    That's no ordinary Mum says:

  54. 54
    Comp kid says:

    Public school *is* private school.
    I know Odd speaks American, but I think miost of the readers hear understand English.

  55. 55
  56. 56
    Steven Hawkings says:

    The probability of taking a photo of a man just at the moment he spills a cup of tea over himself are normally millions to one.
    Saying that though Ed isn’t normal so forget my calculations.

  57. 57
    Sick of the greed and lies(still) says:

    Is this the same non-political Claire Lally that is mentioned in the Courier:


  58. 58
    Ed Fatliner says:

    “Two coffee cups on the starboard bow looking a bit close for comfort Sir?!”

  59. 59
    what a gay dave says:

    They all now blaming the post invasion plan

    What bollocks. No plan could have prevented anarchy

  60. 60
    Socialists are full of shit says:

    kids being forced by their parents to ‘share’ toys with him gave the c*nt ideas

  61. 61
    Sick of the greed and lies(still) says:

    you mean the “Unite(d) Labour Party”.

  62. 62
    Anyone but Ed says:

    Yes yes yes! Best description I’ve read yet. You should work for Tory office. We need more of thi type of thinking about Ed. People need to know.

    I know some fairly hardcore Labour activists. And even they say they’re praying for another non Labour govt as theyre embarrassed to go and campaign for Milidick and that they all hate Ballsup. They want the Labour Party free of this dipshit. Astonishing but true!

  63. 63
    Ed Fatliner says:

    Why do these luvvies associate with Liebour FFS?!
    Is it to assuage their embarrassment and guilt for all the monies they get paid for dubious entertainment courtesy of the long suffering taxpayer via the iniquitous TV tax?

  64. 64
    No money tree here says:

    Under no circumstances will I vote Liebour, under the same circumstances I will never ever vote Conservative again, both parties have let this country down, they have treated the people like sh1t, whilst they have done nothing but collected their wages and expenses and pensions and lied while they dig a deeper hole and put us further into a failed project the EU, the last straw when the Conservatives called UKIP fruit cases and racist, power and money is all they want, well along with a lot more people ex Conservative and ex Liebour will be voting UKIP, so will I, if Liebour get in, 2016 will be an interesting year, thats if the Scotland doesn’t vote YES in September.

  65. 65
    A Clumsy Man with a special kind of ineptness says:

    I taught the boy all he knows.

  66. 66
    Jim says:

    It’s just another Bandwagon as far as he is concerned.
    The poor woman only wanted to support the UK, never thought of the Scottish abuse she would receive.

  67. 67
    The Growler says:

    Fawkesy, have you ever been in a boozer and lifted the pint of bitter and as your mouth wasn’t big enough or something, the amber liquid dribbled down your chin and onto that clean tee shirt you had put on before you went out. For the same reason Teddy seems to be similarly lumbered, quite embarassing but it happens.

  68. 68
    If we're going to pick a time in history how about then says:

    If Blair had stopped at the pre invasion stage none of this shit would be happening.

  69. 69
    The Growler says:

    Similar in face, but not fat enough

  70. 70
    Tom Mein says:

    Please let him play with something sharp and pointy

  71. 71
    Jet Wash says:

    public school isn’t private school, it costs loads more

    I am not sure what the real difference are but I guess that Cameron and Clegg and Milliband would tell you

    I guess the real differences are people from private school would drive Range Rover Sport where people from public school would have the full £150 K job or drive something really shit

    I guess people from public school also don’t have poor relatives

  72. 72
    Anonymong says:

    And this clumsy twaat thinks he has the ability to be Prime Minister.

    Just another nobber on the gravy train.

  73. 73
    Ed is a militant says:

    Ok, ok! You won’t vote tory thats fine. But surely democracy will be even less served with this cretin in charge. After 5 years everyone will be voting tory and that may well be Boris’ master plan, but what kind of country will Boris inherit in 2020 after Milishitter and Harperson have been in charge?

  74. 74
    Labour Party says:

    We got beer, we got bacon, and we got coffee, but we ain’t got no future PM. The lord works in mysterious ways.

  75. 75
    Anonymong says:

    Welcome to People’s Glorious Republic of Londonistan! I has found the whitey. Come look.


  76. 76
    weird knob says:

    Yet another predictable fuck-up.

  77. 77
    The Great British Public says:

    +1 million

  78. 78
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Miliband is normally useless.

  79. 79
    how's that strategy working says:

    To try and be cool.

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    Somehow, I am sure he farts more than is natural.

  81. 81
    No money tree here says:

    What’s democracy, we live in a country that votes for a gang of shiesters every 5 years, when the public want something done we get told go to hell we know better and you can change what we want to do by voting someone else in, in 5 years time, we need change and we need it now.

  82. 82
    Mike, Vyv and Neil says:

    They were the ones from Rik’s jacket.

  83. 83
    Dacre's Wail says:

    “First tea, then bacon, now coffee. ”

    Anyone would think he was fucking useless.

  84. 84
    It's OK...She is one of the Good Guys says:

  85. 85
    Welcome to the House of Bum says:

    True. Ed’s public showing of poor coordination is really a reflection on his team who know he’s crap in these situations but keep setting them up. I can only assume that they are in the pay of Conservative HQ. He really will be tearful teenager come the GE results. Ed is the end result of 40 years of developing the professional politician.

  86. 86
    the mystical mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    this sort of misadventure is making him more likeable in a weird way. if he wasn’t so dangerous.

  87. 87
    The Critic says:

    Isn’t she a member of Labour’s National Policy Forum 2015? Near as makes no difference a politician in my book.

  88. 88
    Acme Kamikaze Ltd. says:

    He’d make a bloody good mine-detector.

  89. 89
    A passing Sadist says:


  90. 90
    Ann, the poverty stricken accounts clerk says:

    If half the NHS has already been privatised, is Milipede going to buy it all back again?

    I wonder who’ll be asked to pay for that.

    Ref original posting, all he needs is a some custard and he will have the set!

  91. 91
    Ann, the poverty stricken accounts clerk says:

    You bump your head or something on the way down the stairs this morning?

  92. 92
    The common man says:

    When get’s asked if he is Arsenal or Spurs he says he supports an american baseball team which he thinks will fend off a smack in the mouth and give him kudos. Dickhead!

  93. 93
    Another right bastard says:

    So he’s responsible for global warming as well. I knew he was a wrong un. Is it true that when his Dad went to the Navy Recruiting Office, they took one look and put him down as a Frogman. Somewhere along the way, the forms were damaged and he ended up sat in the corner of the Sergeant Mess catching flies with his tongue?

  94. 94
    Pleathse says:

    When he placed the bet was heard to say “Pleathse”?

  95. 95
    Baldrick says:

    In the words of Blackadder, Ed Milliband is the kind of person who at school we would have called “an utter spastic”. And this buffoon wants to be Prime Minister?

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    The left.

  97. 97
    Another right bastard says:

    Poor little bleeder. He should follow his Dad into the Navy. Submarines. First sign of a leak, they could shove him head-first into the hole and whack him with a big sledge-hammer. Might not plug the hole but imagine the satisfaction.

  98. 98
    Guffaws says:

  99. 99
    Hugh Janus says:

    He mustn’t be allowed to be PM – someone this butterfingered can’t having their hands anywhere near the nuclear button!

  100. 100
    Another right bastard says:

    In the world of spastics, this one is “Spasticus”!

  101. 101
    Mr Woy says:

    Really, who would vote for this fucking retard, wanker can’t drink out of a cup without spilling it, eat a sandwich without it falling all over the place. and you’d trust him with this country’s defence?

  102. 102
    the mystical mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    one of the drawbacks of old age is viewing anyone younger as infants when you really shouldn’t be giving parental understanding.

  103. 103
    A word of advice says:

    Yes, but can you imagine the fear factor on the voters if they thought he might become PM? Sooner or later he’s going to press the Nuclear button by mistake when calling the Butler at Chequers. It isn’t often that you can look at a possible future PM and know immediately that there goes “Doomsday Man”.
    Events, dear boy, events.

  104. 104

    Can this twat actually tie his own shoe laces ?
    i wouldn’t be surprised if like his predecessor , he’s not toilet trained either

  105. 105

    Well thats all the Merseyside seats swung to Conservative

  106. 106
    Twatwatch says:

    One is a successful comedian always making audiences laugh at his hilarious antics and the other one is Lenny Henry.

  107. 107
    Kim Jong-un says:

    Yep, he’s behind it. Sun edition now goes: Big Splash Headline, Tits, Some outrage/shame/scandal story, funnies, Sport, F*ckinghell what’s that?

  108. 108
    Ed Balls says:

    Reminds me of that US presidential candidate who fell off the stage and Michael Foot wearing his duffle coat at the cenotaph. If you look like a berk people will think you are a berk. Remember his brother with that banana? These two remind me of Jim Carrey’s character in Dumb and Dumber.Trouble is they probably are quite bright but bright isn’t a key requirement as that peacock Blair so clearly proved.

    Advice for Milliband – don’t eat or drink in public, practice your facial expressions and interactions. This guy should have headed a think tank or EC committee or something – he’s no leader, he has all the grace of Peter Beardsley.

  109. 109
    Goo Gal says:

    I love the internet and how it can expose these fuckers for the wankers that they most certainly are.

  110. 110
    See, I can hold a pen and a phone at the same time .... I'm talented don't you know? says:

    Was the can of coke on expenses luv?

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    This man outweirds weird!

  112. 112
    Soon to be me says:

    And that’s where I come in. See, that seaman?

  113. 113
    Maimed Codger says:

    Naaa, he was just reading the Tea Leaves and discovered he is a looser.

  114. 114
    Trust me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:

    Look at those mad eyes.

  115. 115
    The two Muppets says:

    I just love him ,he just keeps on giving .

  116. 116
    bishop of bedford says:

    Peter Beardsley said “hello” to me. He could have just ignored me. I think that was pretty gracious of him. So I disagree with your final comment.

  117. 117
    Mong watch says:

    They are Mcdonalds stars …1 star for raging acne..etc etc

  118. 118

    What do the bagdes on the lapel say :

    ” Kick me Quick” ?

  119. 119
    The two Muppets says:

    Where is that economic genius Ed Balls hiding ? I know that he has been told
    to lay low but this is getting silly, he is getting as bad as Gordon .

  120. 120

    Fiona ( Ed Scissorhands’ spad) ; Ed s had a food/drink intake monent again . Did Gordon have this problem ?

    Sue ( McMental spad — retired) ; No . Well I say no …. he just used to poo his pants regularly and throw them out wrapped around the damaged photocopiers.

  121. 121

    God knows what Ralph was like if acorns don t wander far from the tree.

    Does ( brother) David have these problems or it it monosibling genetic ?

  122. 122
    A cunt says:

    I wish he’d fcuk off. He keeps giving me a bad name.

  123. 123

    “Here’s grassroots ordinary mum and non-politician Claire Lally with Ed Miliband: ”

    Appearance money / travel expenses cheque will arive at your agents office next wek dear ….it ll be from Royal Bank of Scotland . Don t worry …sound as a (Scottish) Pound .

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    It’s one thing having issues locating your mouth after a few pints (which somebody said was the definition of quaffing), Beaker is having problems with a cup of tea which is not quite the same.
    Does he normally have somebody to feed him or something?

  125. 125

    ER…SORRY !!….HELLO???

    “She says she is no relation to Mr Lally but sits on Scottish Labour’s Shadow Cabinet as a “carers’ champion”. Ms Lally said the First Minister has visited her home to discover more about her work looking after her seven-Year old daughter who requires 24 hour care”

    1) whats ” non political ” about SITTING on the SCOTTISH LABOUR SHADOW CABINET ?

    2) As her daughter requires 24/7 care why is she not herself doing that job rather than posing in svelte clothing for Labour publicity pictures .?
    Either she s got a private incone to afford a phalanx of care specialists in her absence or Scotland s social support system is even more generous than we sassenachs have been led to believe …..

  126. 126
    john in cheshire says:

    Except that Mr Milliband, marxist, behaves as if he was educated in the remedial class.

  127. 127
    cured lefty says:

    I notice none are describing her as impartial……….as my 3 year old granddaughter would say ….Wyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

  128. 128

    Oh he ll just go to the IMF and withdraw lots of that new money
    they ve started to print now that everyone s run out of the
    other type .

    You knoww ….no not dollars , not pounds , not euros ( please !) ..
    No that other one that exists on a computer printout and us backed by binary code ….

    Yes that s it ….. SDR …..Special Drawing Rights .

    If you re allowed to Draw it it must be Right !

  129. 129

    Cone out from behind the curtains and stop contemplating your ” big end ” David ( Axelrod not Milliband )

  130. 130

    Watch that blasted cup with your flailing arm !

  131. 131
    Anonymous says:

    They say ‘My name is Ed and I am special’ and ‘If found wandering and lost, please call 0800-1-tw@t’.

  132. 132

    Where are Cameron and Clegg , have they been retired from the betting at this early stage?

    Jeez …. in that case I ll take 50 s on Nigel with Clarkson as his Dep.

  133. 133
    Neitherdeadnoralive says:

    Please, please don’t tell me there are enough mongs to vote this freak into power…please, please !!!!

  134. 134
    Steve P says:

    I am ASTONISHED that his lackeys do not always have at least two complete changes of clothes on hand.

    If he can’t foresee being egged can he foresee being nuked?

  135. 135
    Kulak betrayed by Marxists says:

    If, as suspected, they were Stalinist Spys. Then Both sides. They would have been helping Germany. Or the Nazis as the BBC calls them, during the Soviet German anti Poland pact.

    The great aunt was one of Stalin’s personal interperator.

  136. 136
    Kulak betrayed by Marxists says:

    Not able to eat unsupervised. Not able to drink unsupervised. Yet !
    Has children ??? How ?? Or who ?

  137. 137
    RichUpNorth says:

    Is that twonk fit to be out in public? Wouldn’t he be better off in a high chair wearing a bib when it’s feeding time. It’s like watching a chimps tea party at the zoo, only the chimps had better table manners.

  138. 138
    RichUpNorth says:

    Her eyes are too far apart and her gob appears to be set slightly to the right. Two weird looking buggers together.

  139. 139
    RichUpNorth says:

    Can’t that tit do anything without pointing his finger?

  140. 140
    The uk doesn't trust Cameron says:

    Cameron is a Eton toff

  141. 141
  142. 142
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Her indoors was clearing out one of the cupboards yesterday and near the back came across one of the grandkids old plastic bibs, with a little tray at the bottom to catch stuff. I,ll send it to Milli because it would be handy when he starts on solids.

  143. 143
    Fat Owl of the Remove. says:

    Private school oiks want to be at public school.

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    I saw this photo online elsewhere weeks ago – get with it, Guido!!!!

  145. 145
    Tom Catesby . says:

    Can’t eat a bacon butty, can’t hold a cup of tea, probably shit with a knife and fork, I dread to think what arrangements he has to make to wipe his ar$e but he’s not called millionaireband for nothing. I’ve got a pal much the same, barely housetrained, but with a healthy property portfolio.

  146. 146
    Tom Catesby . says:

    I smell the usual rat.

  147. 147
    Tom Catesby . says:

    Which is of course why the usual suspects, i.e. politicians, newspaper proprietors, bankers, etc. want the internet controlled.

  148. 148
    Tom Catesby . says:

    Is she moddy’s sister. Does she take in washing?

  149. 149
    Tom Catesby . says:

    Good advice, but will draw the line at the limp dicks.

  150. 150
    Tom Catesby . says:

    Come on Guido this has GOT to be the next one for the caption competion!!!!

  151. 151
    Tom Catesby . says:

    Millipede: Lenny this is the last time I’m going out on the piss with you!
    Henry: Yeh, but I drank all mine, yours just went down ya shirt!

  152. 152
    esta says:

    you kidding haha

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