September 17th, 2013

Hancock Committee Hearing: Investigator Speaks Out

It’s all go in Portsmouth. A member of the investigating committee, who has just referred Mike Hancock to a full investigation over allegations of sexual assault against a vulnerable constituent, has spoken out this afternoon: “Hancock is a guilty as a puppy sitting next a pile of poo.” They added “it is f**king horrific.” Guido is told that LibDems on the committee have complained that they have come under huge amounts of pressure to exonerate Hancock, based on the fact the police and CPS dropped the investigation. Guido will show at a later date why this logic is flawed.

Guido is also told that ambitious Gerald Vernon Jackson, the LibDem leader of the council is about to imminently call an emergency meeting, where it is claimed he will begin to distance himself from the de-whipped MP.  After years of standing by his side.

An official on Portsmouth Council, who was clearly distressed and wishes to remain anonymous, tells Guido: “the evidence is so damning that questions will be asked shortly about how the CPS could ever have dropped this case.” They added:

“This is like the decision not to prosecute Jimmy Savile, I just hope that no one else gets hurt while Hancock is still on the loose. The man is dangerous.”

Tick, tock, Handy-cock.

UPDATE: Despite being the 22nd most influential LibDem, Guido understands Vernon Jackson is missing conference to deal with this mess.


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Gerald Vernon-Jackson is getting ready to knife Hancock and is positioning himself as his successor at Westminster.

    Might be an idea though for GVJ to make sure he’s got no skeletons in his own cupboard before he gets too sure of himself. He was Rennard’s number two not all that long ago. On his watch Hancock has carried on the activities which got him in this state, another Lib Dem councillor got caught running an unlicensed cross-dressers sex club, and the rest of the council group are either insane or illiterate.

  2. 2
    V1le disgusting toxic Labour trashed my Country says:

    What hold do senior Limp-Dumbs have over the police and CPS?

  3. 3
    Vince Cable says:

    I would just like to reiterate that I don’t remember Mike.

  4. 4
    A helping hand says:

    Funny handshakes, aprons and turned up trouser legs may give you a clue.

  5. 5
    lescrompsblogg says:

    If Hancock goes,and it’s a big if,there’s a very good chance we could see the first UKIP MP in the UK Parliament.Interesting times.

  6. 6
    lescrompsblogg says:

    Hancock ? Portsmouth ? “So Mote It Be”

  7. 7
    Just Sayin' says:

    Using a term like “on the loose” is extremely inflammatory, and the report better support such language.

  8. 8
    blub says:

    Standard procedure to cover up for MPs if at all possible.

  9. 9
    WTF says:

    “Hancock is a guilty as a puppy sitting next a pile of poo.”

    So is this councilor illiterate or is Greedo’s Intern, that is the question.

  10. 10
    Nick Clegg says:

    Can someone please tell me what’s going on down in Portsmouth?

  11. 11
    Hang The Bostards says:

    It is absolutely disgusting that this vile creature is allowed to stay in place by our corrupt establishment.

    They are collectively trying to stop a by-election in which they know UKIP would win.

    They would rather support a sexual predator than see law and democracy in action.

  12. 12
    Pc Plod says:

    We have started an enquiry to find the official who leaked sensitive information to Guido.
    At present we believe it to be Sandra from accounts who is known to be a bit of a gossip.

  13. 13
    Sarah Teather says:

    I think that this witch hunt against Mike is a travesty. He was only being playful.

  14. 14
    Just Sayin' says:

    Farage had Eastleigh handed to him on a plate and bottled it. The man doesn’t want to stand in a winnable seat because if (when) he loses then he’s finished.

  15. 15
    Nick Clegg says:

    And your point is what exactly?

  16. 16
    Vince Cable says:

    And in fact I don’t remember the first time I said it.

  17. 17
    Nobody says:

    I had that Sarah Teather in the back of a cab once.

  18. 18

    Bloody LibDems, for such a small group of politicians, they don’t half get up to no good. New film maybe carry on carnage -

  19. 19
    Cllr Hugh Mason says:

    I do hope you aren’t implying there are any improper links between the authorities and the council? I shall have to lodge a complaint with the grand webmaster of this site!

  20. 20
    Baron Rennard says:

    I’m sorry Mike is going to have to go after these allegations, if only he’d stuck to groping party members and not constituents, he’d probably have got away with it.

  21. 21
    Tim Farron LibDem Golden Shower Boy says:

    Today I will be love bombing Mike Hancock. A future leader if I saw one.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    UKIPs first MP is on the way

  23. 23
    Uncle Jack says:

    The Beardies are the ones that will not be blamed for nothing.

  24. 24
    Samaritans says:

    Imagine being the 22nd most influential LibDem.

  25. 25
    Displaced Brummie says:

    After years of standing by his side…

    Yes, but not too close, obviously. Else Mr H. might have accidentally put his eye out.

  26. 26
    Joe Public & all Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    Is it yet another case of its all in the handshake & rolled up trouser
    leg then ??

    Somethings never change……..

  27. 27
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Grand Master they have put a photo up of me showing my masonic rings. I only do this when I need protection, help me please. Boaz.

  28. 28
    jmf says:

    After 2015 the limpdems will be back in their rightful place. A minority party barking from the side lines.

  29. 29
    Joe Public & all Voting UKIP.ORG says:

    Its no wonder the Old Bill & The Criminal Protection Service don’t want
    to do anything against one of the own Brother’s……

  30. 30
    Displaced Brummie says:

    No, WTF, but someone who can’t spell the word “councillor” may well be illiterate.

  31. 31
    Ghost of Jimmy Saville says:

    when will it all end?

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    He is on the loose isn’t he?

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    I think it’s time to set up a specialist bookies to relieve Ukip dreamers of their cash. They have no chance in getting an MP anywhere.

  34. 34
    Prophetic? says:

    He looks as if he’s handcuffed in that photo.

  35. 35
    Bread & Circuseseseses'es says:

    We all simply love royal babies.

  36. 36
    Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

    If I can keep this under cover Handy, you have nothing to worry about. Jahbulon.

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:


  38. 38
    Sarah Teather says:

    yes please.

  39. 39
    Cock up the arsehole time says:

    How could you tell?

  40. 40
    Popsicle says:

    > Rennard’s number two

    Not very flattering, I’d say!

  41. 41
    Anonymong says:

    You are wrong.

  42. 42
    Uncle Jack says:


  43. 43
    English-speaker says:

    Guido is claiming to be “the 22nd most influential LibDem”. Either that or the grammar in the last par is a bit wonky.

  44. 44
    Bennie from Crossroads says:

    Looks fine to me.

  45. 45
    Thor says:

    Mike, you are tainting the remnants of your own legacy. Do yourself and the rest of us a favour and retire graciously.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Population mix of the constituency makes it unlikely UKIP will win, added to the fact that the local UKIP branch has 3 members and 2 of them are Don Jerrard and Les “Libel” Cummings. I’m surprised neither of the Lib Dem councillors who’ve been teetering on the edge of defection haven’t already gone across, UKIP are crying out for a parliamentary candidate. Farage hasn’t got the nerve to run in Portsmouth if there’s a by-election.

  47. 47
    WTF says:

    The grammar of the whole thing obviously points to a 3 bottle lunch.

  48. 48
    Raving Loon says:

    Freudian slip?

  49. 49
    The Turtles Head says:


  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Except Portsmouth South. (Fewer public-sector workers.)

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Ask Mike.

  52. 52
    Mark Oaten says:

    Yum, yum!

  53. 53
    Objective productions protect an abusive media star! says:

    What a creep & what kind scumbag preys on vulnerable women? I hope they lock the creep up & throw away the key! As for those who dropped the case, they should be dealt with severely!

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Actually Mike, you are proving to everyone what a twat you have been – so just go.

  55. 55
    Anonymous Liberal Democrat Councillor, Porstmouth. says:

    GVJ is also a Freemason and he has known since he was parachuted in to Portsmouth to become LibDem Leader of the Council what Hancock has been up to. The two of them have made many illegal political donations which they have received from big time drug dealers who Hancock has been in with for years. The two of them arranged for 26.1% of asylum seekers allocated to the south of England by the home office, to come in to Portsmouth.

    The reason for this was so that the drug dealers could launder their drug money through property development (asylum seekers cannot by law be housed in social housing). Hancock holds the planning portfolio and provided the planning permissions and the drug dealers kindly obliged by giving him a villa in Spain from the millions they made laundering their drug money through this development. The Liberal Democrat Party benefitted greatly from political donations mainly through Hancock, GVJ and a few acquiescent LibDem Councillors.

    GVJ therefore is in just a guilty position as Hancock and to have any dreams of taking over from him as MP is laughable. By the way some of the drug dealers and the Chief Executive Portsmouth City Council are all freemasons as were the police and CPS, no doubt, who found Hancock did not have a case to answer in the first place. This Council is a corrupt disgrace and it all revolves around Hancock and GVJ.

  56. 56
    blub says:

    ambitious plod don’t want to make powerful enemies

  57. 57
    Sir Jimmy Savile says:

    I object to being in the same sentence as Mr Handy.

  58. 58
    nellnewman says:

    One presumes he’s hanging onto to his council and mp jobs for as long as he can so that he can leach as much taxpayers money out of the system before he’s forced to resign.

  59. 59
    Casual Observer says:

    Kier Starmer should not be sleeping easy.

  60. 60
    Lard Everard says:

    Hear ! Hear !

  61. 61
  62. 62
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP, Climate Change Chieftain says:

    Do you remember the LibDem ex-leader of the neighbouring Council ??

  63. 63
    Casual Observer says:

    You can use ‘pre’ tags:



  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    You never see Benny from Crossroads and H@rry in the same room do you?

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    Blatantly has skeletons in his closet – why else would he stand by Hancock for so long if Mikeyboy didn’t have some serious dirt on him.

  66. 66
    Back1woodsman says:

    Seem to remember that there was something distinctly fishy about GVJ leaving his previous post and getting the Pompey job. Anyone any info ?

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    Map of likely UKIP Westminster election victories based on 2013 local elections.

  68. 68
    Casual Observer says:

    That is possible.

    Any by-election that arises will make Rotherham look like a friendly affair.

    One sympathizes with his Lodge protecting him, but what he has on others to buy that protection must be pretty serious. Perhaps his ‘brothers’ really do not have any reputation left to bring in to disrepute ?

    Deep clean time for Portsmouth South.

  69. 69
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    The Police and the CPS found that I did not have a case to answer, so I must be innocent. I have been shagging young and vulnerable women for years, especially in Romania and eastern Europe and never had a problem, and then this woman comes along, won’t let me shag her and reports me. What is the world coming to when an MP no longer has the privilege of getting his leg over whenever he wants, especially with vulnerable constituents. This country is going to the dogs Boaz.

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    You mean finished like the way he was when he lost in Buckingham in 2010?

    Yep, that loss really finished him off – no wonder he’s been so absent from the media since then!

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    UKIP had exactly 0 candidates at the last local elections in Portsmouth (in 2012 – there were none this year).

  72. 72
    Fuck off BBC poofs says:

    Free school meals for all small kids. Poor old BBC are desperate to find a negative angle but can’t.

    I’m sure Newsnight will find one though.

  73. 73
    Cyril Smith says:


  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    Hi Cllr Hunt!

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    though it was a pretty close result in neighbouring Eastleigh, where Ukip finished second place, once the postal votes had been totted up. Fewer public-sector workers in Portsmouth South compared to Eastleigh, apparently.

  76. 76
    UK voters says:

    The Libs just can’t help themselves – it’s one after the other: Jeremy Thorpe, Mark Oaten, Simon Hughes, Lord Rennard, Chris Huhne, David Laws.
    Are they all crooks or bent?

  77. 77
    Nick Clegg says:

    I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry.

  78. 78
    Nick Clegg (The Boy Clegg) says:

    I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry ,I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry ,I’m orrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry. I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorrry, I’m so sorry.

  79. 79
    Jabba Le Chat says:


  80. 80
    Handycock says:

    and donlt forget about me.

  81. 81
    Gog says:

    What is the point of a Liberal Democrat?

  82. 82
    Tachybaptus says:

    Just a common dangling participle, I think. You can’t seriously believe that Guido unconsciously wants to be a LibDem. No human being would, and I am not excepting the 40,000 members of the party, if there are still that many.

  83. 83
    Tachybaptus says:

    It’s at the top of his head.

  84. 84
    David Miliband, now residing in the Big Apple, says:

    Influential enough to have had a subway stop in New York named after him, so we may be underestimating the man.

  85. 85
    Gog says:

    They’re not Klansmen are they?

  86. 86
    Gideon says:

    Talking of Farage where is he , what’s he doing, he seems to have gone very quiet.

  87. 87
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    Funding child obesity angle ?

  88. 88
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    While your spelling is correct, in the sense that he is “leaching,” as in “draining,” one is put more in mind of the bloodsucker spelt “leech,” where Handy’s concerned.

  89. 89
    Casual Observer says:

    Pin heads, more like.

  90. 90
    Gideon says:

    You will have a long way to complain to The MASTER he is in New York, NY, USofA, Geedes is only following orders

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Halal. Vegetarians. Allergies. Rationing the larger kids. Horse meat!

    One solution does not fit all. Anything free, is also free of standards. The dominance of packed lunches is a reflection of the meals, not the price.

  92. 92
    nellnewman says:

    Quite right. leech does seem to adequately describe him.

  93. 93
    peech imspedment says:

    I’m confused, does one actually go up or down the list of lnfluenzial Lib Dems for this kind of behaviour?

  94. 94
    Bill Quango MP-9 says:

    More Biblical references.

    Vince – Jeremiah

    Ed Balls – Goliath. Champion of the Philistines and a real bruiser. But even a pygmy like Osborne can take him down with a well placed shot.

    Cameron – Saul – – became leader of the tribes but went downhill fast. When he was killed by a witch few mourned.

    Clegg – Moses – promised the people milk and honey and no tuition fees. Led his party into the wilderness for 40 years.

    Miliband – Cain – First child of the labour party – Kills his brother who was more Abel.

    Farage – Samson – used his great strength to terrify the EU. However he split the Tory vote pillars and brought the Labour parties anti-referendum policy down onto his own head.

    Lord Oakshott – Judas Iscariot – seals Clegg’s fate with a kiss in the rose garden.

    Sarah Teather – Pontius Pilate – Basically not up to it so washes hands of the events but still remains in post

    Brown – Jonah

  95. 95
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    He has been busy, but this is from a few days ago:

  96. 96
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP

  97. 97
    Nick Clegg says:

    I do love spending other people’s money, particularly on immigrant infants.

  98. 98

    Surely you mean on the sidelines barking mad

  99. 99
    Uncle Albert Mcartney says:

    Shut up child.

  100. 100
    The Kingsmen says:

    Did someone call? Oh, sorry KLANSmen

  101. 101
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    Given the circumstances and short notice around that election, UKIP did spectacularly.

    Postal votes again did it, but even with that they did well.

    If Dave had not muzzled his own candidate, things would have panned out better for the Cons. Irrespective of what one may think of Hutchings, she was a canary thrown into the coal mine.

    If she had been allowed to voice her true thoughts, which were surprisingly in line with UKIP, she perhaps would have won the seat.

    Prospective Tory candidates should not ignore what happened.

    The country is ready for a UKIP MP now.

  102. 102
    nellnewman says:

    The idea is fine – but I suspect the quality of the dinners will let the project down. state school dinners are not particularly good in most places and packed lunches from home are often of a better standard.

  103. 103
    Anonymous says:

    But 20000+ lefty students make up for it in Portsmouth South. I keep reading people saying “UKIP did well in Eastleigh” and assuming that because it’s 20 miles away, it has to be a reliable guide to what happens in Portsmouth. If we were talking about Portsmouth North, I might agree, but Portsmouth South is nothing like Eastleigh.

  104. 104
    nellnewman says:

    I really hope nigel farage can find a seat to fight and win in the 2015 election. He would be a real asset to the HoC.

    But for the most part UKIP are not going to win many seats and if they do we shall get a labour government with vincecable as chancellor. God Forbid!

  105. 105

    Very good, but after 40 years, Moses led his people OUT of the wilderness. Cleggy’s got no chance

  106. 106
    Cucumber sandwiches, a cup of tea and some Tiramisu says:

    Why are school dinners so poor. They should be able to compete with the buffet at the local Garfunk3ls easily, if not beat it.

  107. 107
    nellnewman says:

    It does seem that hancock is going to be the libdems jimmysavile moment. And they’re till sticking their heads in the sand over these issues , hoping they’re just going to go away – just like the beeb!

  108. 108
    R & B invasion. says:

    Yeeeeeeeees! Nice :-)

  109. 109
    Stuffed Aubergine, glass on mineral water and lemon sorbet says:

    The problem is those moments don’t end quickly. What other secrets lurk in Portsmouth South ?

  110. 110
    Anon anon anon....... says:

    There is going to be an early G*E……..

    all of the goodies (bri*bes) are starting to flow

    along with all of the good ne*ws reports & photos

    plus much more of the printed stuff is being splashed around…….

    look as the state Zanu*Lie*Labour is in…….with Ed thingy at the helm……

    and there is not to be dismissed UK*IP who are

    here & getting stronger day by day, week by week……..

    something CallMeDave cannot ignore………

    But doe’s he have the political nous to press the starting gun……..

    That is the real unknown & unpredictable answer………

  111. 111
    Keep Calm, Vote UKIP says:

    It is certainly feeling that way.

    Euro elections are not until next May, but the AC / RB trial is coming up soon and the chances of more action being taken against MP’s is high.

    It may be too late to call the election before a by election is triggered, which will likely see UKIP get in.

    Worst case if UKIP do not win a seat, is coming second to Labour.

    UKIPs splitting of the vote up north is something played down and not reported, but very very real.

  112. 112
    Anon anon anon....... says:

    Yep agree with what written…..I suppose it all depends on what “The Master”

    says (@who’s feet they all worship !! aka Bliar) can CMD just ignore what

    the jungle drums are saying along with the high profile Court


    or will CMD be another to leave it until the last possible date (aka Jo*hn


    & lose the lot to Ed’s bla*nk she*et of crumbled tarnished pa*per…….

    Oh to have the gift & insight to able to read the Tea Leaves… that

    autumn is here….or will it be a Winter of Discontent !!!

    Nothing like going into a G*E in 2015 after being slaughtered at the Polls

    in EUSSR Elections of 2014……Time will tell BUT that is fast running out !!!

    For all of them…….as Super Mac stated “Its events dear Boy Events”……….

  113. 113
    Ziggy says:

    Beam me up Scotty!

  114. 114
    Mornington Crescent says:

    All this from the party that has just promised a free lunch to all under-age children.

    Filthy pervs, the lot of ‘em.

  115. 115
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Up who?

  116. 116
    Princess says:

    F*ck off Pervert.

  117. 117
    Milligan and Huhne says:

    Nor us.

  118. 118
    The Very Late Cyril Smith says:

    Nor me.

  119. 119
    We are all wondering says:

    Is it possible to be a Lib Dem and straight?

  120. 120
    El Beebo The Purveyors for Kiddie Fiddlers....... says:

    Oy do you mean us ?????

  121. 121
    Right Full Rudder says:

    Re: the school places ad on this site –

    Why do the NUT believe it’s Michael Gove’s fault we’re expected to educate the children of hundreds of thousands of Polish, Romanian, Spanish, Pakistani, Nigerian and Somali migrants?

    And why do they think if the jobsworths in local councils were in charge of schools, this wouldn’t be a problem?

  122. 122
    Cyril Smith "the MP" says:

    and me!

  123. 123
    Kindly Cease and Desist says:

    Please stop peddling this myth, worthy only of Tory Trolls (and I would never presume to imply that you are such a thing).

    The UKIP voting snowball’s momentum cannot begin to be seen as it rolls down the hill, if people keep trying to misappropriate the snow.

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    Potentially more jobs for teachers though, innit.

  125. 125
    The Quiet Man says:

    There wont be the Brussels Euro restaurants to have extended lunchtimes in, and the emoluments are crap compared to the Euro gig, so dont hold your breath waiting to see Nige in the Commons :)

  126. 126
    Gimme money says:

    Next step is to ensure all MPs also get free meals. Thin wedge of end etc…

  127. 127
    Gimme money says:

    Shirley, up “whom” ?

  128. 128
    Gimme money says:

    I bet none of them has Adblock on their computers.

  129. 129
    Haribo Halfwit says:

    ‘…hoping they’re just going to go away – just like the beeb!’

    Still no sign of it going anywhere, sadly.

  130. 130
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    Something to do with a scandal as regards Vodafone I believe.

  131. 131
    A freemason says:

    There is no way that he would have been accepted into freemasonry.
    If he had been a member he should have resigned by now as no freemason would bring his lodge into disrepute.

  132. 132
    Another freemason says:

    Hancock is a cad and a bounder!
    He would have been blackballed.
    The only organisation he could belong to would be the girl guides, where I am sure he would feel quite at home, as he is a self confessed teen fondler.


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