June 2nd, 2013

Read Guido’s Column in The Sun Today

As if the reputation of lobbying could get any lower, in Guido’s Sun column today we name the ex-MP turned lobbyist under police investigation. Don’t miss out on:

  • tulisaTheresa May’s new leadership-worthy wardrobe
  • Liam Byrne’s latest blunder
  • Ed the stud
  • IDS channels Churchill
  • Anarchist beer leaving a bitter taste in parliament
  • Brian May’s awkward pub session with Labour MPs
  • Olympians turned Tory candidates
  • Dave’s crisis meeting tomorrow
  • Lazy Vaizey’s Cannes trip

Politics for the people, just 60p…


  1. 1
    Labourunionsbbc = EU says:

    Who is Tulisa?

    • 5
      David M says:

      Who’s Ed the stud?

    • 6
      the common folk of ramsbottom says:

      how mooch

    • 8
      Wyle Cop says:

      Apparently, she has “lucky you” tattooed just above her foufou.

      I would have thought “abandon hope, all ye who enter here” would be more appropriate.

    • 13
      The osbournes says:

      So it’s not a cabinet minister and it happened in number 10.

      Don’t the Osbornes live in the flat at number 10?

      • 152
        Tulisa's Dealer says:

        Must be. No 10 link is weak if it’s only staff or politicians who work/visit No10. The Cams lives next door happily. One of the Osbornes and…….Hilton who did a runner to the USA? I claim the £5 prize

        • 460
          Stunning For Some says:

          How about a very close relative of the Prime Minister concealing an affair with a very contraversial public figure who the Prime Minister was at one time said to have been horsing around with? What if that relative had taken part in the Leveson inquiry? And if he/she is married? The family fall-out would be catastrophic.

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            It has to be either something that compromises government or party.

            In the it could be someone who is closely associated with one off iDave’s flagship policies (gay marriage, Leveson) having an affair with someone clearly associate with opposition to that policy. Someone from HackedOff for example

            In the former it could be someone in No 10 having an affair with a tribal Labour MP or someone with a bad public image associated with Labour (think Watson/Balls/Abbott for the former, Derek Draper/Sally Bercow/ Polly Toynbee for the latter)

            Generally I don’t care much what politicians do with their spare time (other than they have too much of it and I’m surprised that anyone has low enough standards to have sex with an MP) but if it affects and influences government then we are entitled to know.

    • 16
      Piggy alert says:

      Trougher Yeo on sky news now.

      • 72
        Politians need our help says:

        Make all MPs and those with Westminister passes, including Guido, sign a standard contract as a condition of working there. It could include……..

        • 75
          helpful advice says:

          Total political expenditure shall be limited to % point of national GDP.

          To include MPs, MEPs, Councillors, advisers etc and Tony Benn.

        • 324
          anomalous says:

          yes — ban all travel of any kind to anywhere except their kitchenettes and bathrooms .
          shop online and work from the designated grotty allocated bedsit via videoconference links

      • 87
        Yeo is allegedly a bad un says:

        Yeo is the number one green lobbyist. every green policy means more money for Yeo.

        He is the symbol of all that is wrong with lobbying.

    • 91
      o.1...1.0..... or justdot. says:

      tu…..is you
      yu breath deciept.
      the master cosmic.
      .th journey is the resp of te dept of trans.
      bel ,,,,
      eyes very very wide open.
      so tat the dot in bewteen.
      the donga is the dot between the ies.

      • 100
        o.1...1.0..... or justdot. says:

        integrated env solution.
        green in between.
        great on ne side…the fatger
        env on the otha,
        e…faulti towers.
        be the dot in the cross.
        the joint.
        the hinge
        the g.lie.u
        the supa
        the suppa
        suck pa
        the thumb
        fathe ris the 1
        motha is the 1
        the dot is the tail.
        reduce the trail to not……97……7
        kill 1 2 7
        plenty of mothas out there.
        all part of the collective 1.
        kind father is missin.
        i been movduh.
        ibm will never die.
        it is soft.
        keep the pleasure in.

    • 102
      RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

      I will be t’ Leader in 2015.

    • 208
      dogsled says:

      She is a very silly, untalented, little chav who has just discovered that her usefulness to the Cowell empire and therefore her 15 minutes have just expired. And with Cowells notorious Nigel Molesworth contracts (anything you earn in the future on the earth, moon, mars, pluto, the solar system, space; 2/3rds of it belongs to him. chiz.) she will is just about to realise her earning potential working for anyone else in showbusiness is virtually zero.
      Now those dreams of being the new Cheryl Cole (the nations sweetheart. copyright S.Cowell.) and a role model for all those girls in Kappa who hang around the bus stop texting Wayne, drinking WKD, while screaming at their fatherless brood, now lie in ruins. Soon all the designer shops will be banging on the door as she discovers that the new wardrobe that she thought Simon had bought for her, were actually loaned samples and Mr D&G wants them back.
      In a couple of years she will be back at that same bus stop, wondering who her new babys father is, what time does the bookies open & who gave her crabs?

      People with no talent should never believe that they will never be found out. That just because they appear on TV giving their opinion that it is automatically valid and important. In two years time no one will even remember her name. And on that subject, can you actually name a N-Dubz hit?

      Thought not.

    • 261
      wiggins says:

      Search me guv….. I believe she hangs out wid da brudders.

      • 306
        bandersnatch says:

        Come on Guido… I logged on here to find out who were the past lovers from No 10? I admit to being as nosy as the next person. Is it perhaps Dr Who himself, and that is why he is leaving? I’m wading through all this stuff and haven’t found out yet… all too cryptic. Nothing could be as joyous as John Major and his ladylove Edwina. It was deeply unimportant politically. You are not supposed to have affairs within ‘the office’ environment, I know, but that is where people meet, innit? If it were to be two gay people who voted against gay marriage it WOULD matter because of the hypocricy. If it were to be across the political divide it would be… interesting… but again unless some kind of corruption were to be involved… unlikely… it would not matter either. Cash for questions DOES matter IMNSHO. This kind of thing merely cheers up the nation, but sadly hurts the official partners of those invoved.

    • 314
      writer's 9d. says:

      I don’t know but she’s just 24 hours away.

      • 325
        anomalous says:

        does he/she/it have its calling card in judiciously strategic phoneboxes ??

        Apart from unofficial urinals I wondered what their current use might be .

    • 362
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      I would certainly give her one, given half the chance. Does she like teddy bears? Boaz.

    • 448
      They Hate Her Because She Won says:

      What do you call a woman with two Hunts?

      N Dubz

  2. 2
    monkey-tennis says:

    “Politics for the people, just 60p…”

    yeah right….

    • 4
      sir boffton toffton mp - what says:

      gad sir its been paying me well enough for the past 20 years – and i am the public interest-what?

      get out there and buy one y’malingerer!

    • 116
      Value for Money says:

      Judging by how little interest anyone here has in the content of this column, it would be 60p wasted.

      • 197
        Lord Snooty says: says:

        They’ll be interested in the content of MY big column, eh, won’t they, readers?

  3. 3
    Stephen Byers says:

    Anyone need a cab?

    • 85
      Sally down the alley says:

      Anyone need a bike?

    • 103
      Diane Fatbott says:

      They never stop for me.

      • 282
        ukfred says:

        That’s because they don’t have reinforced suspension. Haven’t you noticed, even the black drivers, let alone the black cabs don’t stop for you, unless they are going to hit you with their vehicle and they don’t want the damage.

  4. 7
    Wyle Cop says:

    So, it’s official: Cameron and his chums have run out of ideas and need our help:


    Here’s an idea: vote these useless, traitorous bastards out. Vote UKIP.

    • 40
      Dial-a-vote says:

      heres a better idea, dont vote for any f**kster – all the same, (inc ukip)

      • 47
        Plausible says:

        Not that bright are you?

        • 90
          cotedebeaune says:

          I’ve got an idea…let’s employ, a great expense, a bunch of four-by-twos claiming to be expert psychologists and human behaviour gurus and assemble them into a quango called the “The Nudge Unit” and come up with some of the most fucking useless ideas ever thunk of.

    • 55
      Anonymous says:

      Yeah right, toss out the self-serving tw@ts and bring in the clueless thieving to$$ers!

      • 61
        You Know It Makes Sense says:

        Break the LabLibCon alliance of perverts, traitors and thieves, for real change.

        • 81
          Clegster says:

          perhaps we can have a ukip/lib pact for 2015

        • 175
          Farago of unsubstantiated facts says:

          Bring in the UKIP perverts, traitors and thieves and we’ll be left with just small change!

        • 232
          Gooey Blob says:

          Every time I hear someone say “LibLabCon” I’m less inclined to vote Ukip in the European elections. Lumping the Lib Dems and Tories in with Labour as if to suggest Labour are no worse than anyone else is a deliberate misrepresentation.

          Under our political system, if you hate waste the only sensible thing to do is vote for whichever party is best placed to beat Labour. At the moment that isn’t Ukip, nor is it likely to be anytime soon.

          • Not Getting It says:

            They’re all the same people Bob. They all go to the same schools and screw each others sisters. It’s a single party system. A Punch and Judy show.

          • Vote UKIP says:

            Okay fusspot we are trying to extend our vocabulary and
            have moved onto “metropolitan liberal establishment” you gay traitor.

          • We in the LibLabCon are nothin' like those ghastly ConLabLibers says:

            Vote for us or the other globalist stooges will get in.

    • 119
      Labour press officer says:

      You can vote UKIP if you want but look at today’s poll.

      Vote UKIP split the right and get Milliband. The ironic thing is by getting that outcome the UKIP supporters will be even further away from what they want.

      Madness indeed

      • 137
        Don't believe it! says:

        Look at local election results, Labour are in Michael Foot territory again.
        Pollsters lie through their teeth to big Labour up and give them an advantage in the news narrative. The news organisations who buy these polls hate Cameron and this government, so the pollsters reflect this in their polls or they wouldn’t be able to sell them.

        Nobody with half an once political background knowledge or without an agenda to promote, believes a damn work pollster say, least of all mid-term

      • 288
        ukfred says:

        If Cam-Moron is still leader of the Tories and cloth-eared Clegg leader of the limp-dumbs, can brain-dead Ed and Lie-More be any worse? I don’t think theere is the thickness of a cigarette paper between any or all of them.

      • 340
        Anonymous says:

        There are a lot more grooming trials to come between now and the election. Up to 54 apparently. That should concentrate the minds of white working class labour voters wonderfully.

        Then there’s the Romanians and Bulgarians arriving next year to look forward to, possible Scottish Independence, more !slamic trouble, more EU dictates, an economy down the bog, pointless wars…..

        Oh dear, oh dear, not looking too clever for the LibLabCon.

        Still, a crass and inept ‘celebration’ of 1914 next year should do the trick of returning the uppity plebs back to worshipping the establishment, shouldn’t it!

    • 401
      Anonymous says:

      Listen to the people who elected him?

    • 436
      ScrewTheLotOfEm says:

      Yeah right, and start paying 31% income tax. I don’t think so.

  5. 9
    Sally Big-ho says:

    Why is (FILL IN THE BLANK) trending? *innocent face*

    • 50
      Phil N. de Blanc says:

      I’m calling my lawyer!

    • 120
      Labour spokesman says:

      Tax the blankers!

    • 171
      Mr Hammond's lawyers says:

      Our client resents the ‘blank’ insinuation and demands satisfaction.

      Videos of his remaindered leadership bid speeches are available at Waterstones, W H Smiths etc price 4p.

      • 330
        anomalous says:

        Daniel Hannan for King ….and President … and Prime Minister …. and Cabinet … and anything else

        • 385
          Anonymous says:

          Those clever kippers on the DT assure me he’s a devious marxist in cahoots with the frankfurt school.

          • Plausible says:

            Dan talks a very good fight, yet carefully, never gets involved in one. Conclude from that what you will.

  6. 10
    The Big Society says:

    A new crisis every few days in this shambolic government. Do the decent thing, Cameron, and step down.

    • 20
      Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

      But the problems will still persist. It’s in the nature of the Nasty Party.

      Perhaps Mr Cameron should buy his rebels an ice-cream each!

      • 331
        anomalous says:

        Has Rupe changed the name to The Liverpool Bugle yet in an effort to get you guys and gals to reinstate/buy his organ ?

    • 21
      Sir Bofton Toffton MP - what? says:

      sir – these are merely diversions – can’t have the mob realising just how bad things really are

      every so often someone is symbolically sacrificed – everyone’s happy – papers’ circulation rises – the ‘exposed’ knows they’ll be back some time soon as an ennobled meedjah ‘expert’ – mob gets a bit of ‘blood’

      and on we go – ticetyboo, tinkley tonk and all that – what?

    • 129
      pdubya says:

      You must have been comatose for the last decade if you think this government is shambolic. If the current opposition frontbench had any sense of decency whatsoever they would have all resigned in disgrace at the last election and exiled themselves for the next two decades.

  7. 12
    william says:

    Rachel whetstone,viscount astor,apparently.

  8. 14
    Owen Jones says:

    Okay,Guido. You seem like a pretty trustworthy fellow. I will eagerly await the revelations about who’s been knobbing whom.

  9. 17
    Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

    Up our way some may read The Mirror or some may read The Star but on-one reads the Current Bun.

    • 34
      Gentelmen of the jury says:

      Merseysnide and taffy are one and the same.

      Anyone seen them together at the same time on the blog?

      I rest my case.

    • 419
      Anonymous says:

      One step at a time. Let’s see if they can read without moving their lips first.

  10. 18
    Village Idiot says:

    …..Political elite are efffffing scum,who have destroyed our country and i hate ,hate you all,good or not so good…
    “Vitae summa brevis spem nos vetat incohare longam”.!!!

    (Life’s short span forbids us to enter on far-reaching hopes.)

    • 25
      • 46
        Arthur Wilmington says:

        Ego optime potest videri a priory.

      • 64
        Some Jokes Just Write Themselves says:

        Somehow, the word “ars,” in a posting by Mr Cat, just invites comment, one would have thought.

        • 105
          Dame Norma Snorques says:

          ‘twould be a greater exactitude to say that our Cat (if I may use that familiar title) often has us in stitches with his appetite for other enticements of the latitudinous rather then petite variety and seems unconcerned about keeping that under his titfer.

          • What a gross calumny you commit, Sir Madam!

            The word ars in Latin is something much more noble than your slur implies. I went to Skol in the days wot they tort such stuff.

            The Romans had many words and names ending with that combination, as indeed did the Etruscans, although their tongue was a language isolate.

            May I refer you to Lord Macaulay and his Lays of Ancient Rome for an example:

            Lars Porsena of Clusium, by the Nine Gods he swore
            That the great house of Tarquin should suffer wrong no more.
            By the Nine Gods he swore it, and named a trysting day,
            And bade his messengers ride forth,
            East and West and South and North,
            To summon his array.

          • genghiz the kahn says:

            TV version of Take A Girl Like You – featured recitation of Lars Porsena of Clusiumas when one of the characters was engaged in sexual congress.

          • Dame Norma Snorques says:

            Hence Lays of ancient Rome”, one would assume.

            Cin cin !

          • I used to think that shag was a fabric used to make deep-pile carpets… until I discovered Smirnoff.

            As for Macaulay, I learned the abridged version:

            Lars Porsena of Clusium, by the Nine Gods he swore
            He would have sworn by ten, if there had been one more.

          • Dame Norma Snorques says:

            Smirnoff … wanking … capital … China
            Fill in gaps to taste.


            Ego redeundum ad mare quoque,
            Mare salis et caelum,
            Ego relicta mea induant et tibialia ibi,
            Nescio an aridi sunt?

            Retribuet mihi hac nocte. (!)
            (Doleo, iterum dicam.)
            Revertar nocte.


            Caesar ad sum jam forti
            Brutus et erat
            Caesar sic in omnibus
            Brutus sic in at
            Sciatis me non Schrödinger
            Sed iustus stupri cat

          • anomalous says:

            you mean he’s one big pussy .

          • Pussy means different things to different men
            What we emerge from is no sin.
            But most of us spend our waking lives
            In trying to get back in.

          • Dame Norma Snorques (and her heaving valley) says:

            Sir Hadagal – oh, what a knight !

        • 201
          Lord Sleightly-Foxed says:

          I could go for that, at a pinch.

  11. 19
  12. 22

    Why all this fuss about a Member’s member?

  13. 24
    Mark Oaten says:

    Anyone want a rimming?

  14. 26
    Boring old Fart but now voting UKIP.ORG..... says:

    Anymore who’s been up who’s Bum News…… ??

    • 29
      Wyle Cop says:

      Yep – N1gel Ev@ns has been questioned on a FOURTH sexual assualt allegation.

      Any advance, as it were, on that?

      • 31
        the common folk of ramsbottom says:

        yes – its like the relief of lady smith – she liked it so much she asked me back again the next night

      • 44
        Really? says:

        20 something males up there can’t fend off a middle-aged puny MP apparently and then wait years to make a complaint. No doubt the thought of compo and/or money from hacks might be encouraging these complaints.

        • 49
          Wyle Cop says:

          “20 something males up there”?? I bet it’s not just his forehead that’s bruised…

      • 148
        Speaker's Mate says:

        “N1gel Ev@ns has been questioned on a FOURTH sexual assualt allegation.”

        I didn’t think the little **** had it in him.

  15. 32
    Wyle Cop says:

    I love it that these two sh@ggers can’t be named “for legal reasons” – without ever specifying any particular “legal reason”.

    Since when has “I don’t particularly want to be found out” been a “legal reason”?

    If it’s an established fact – name the bastards. Put up or shut up.

    • 38
      The View from Abroad says:

      ‘The Truth Will Out’ – unless you live in Britain where the media have been totally cowed by this authoritarian government and its oppressive courts.

      • 42
        in the real world says:

        What’s the point of trying to keep it secret- unless you’re one of the grasping lawyers involved.

        Everyone knows the names will come out.

        FFS just get it out in the open and move on.It will stop speculation and other innocent names being dragged into the scandal.
        Then start dealing with the real issues that matter to the electorate.

    • 53
      CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

      They don’t exist. A load of tabloid bollocks designed to show this government that newspapers can scandalise politicians without actually having any perpetrators or evidence of wrongdoing.

      Like the “swivel-eyed” loons remark whilst never naming the person who is supposed to have said it.

      All made up nonsense by disillusioned drunk old hacks who are not being fed and watered by politicians anymore.

    • 58
      Dweeb says:

      Yeah, good point. What are these “legal reasons”? They can only be

      1. An injunction (which we’d know about)

      2. Heavy threats to sue arse if anyone sings. Lawyers squabbling.

      3. Mail is short of evidence.

      4. They made it up.

      • 62
        CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

        number 4 most likely

        No injunction is in place as far as we know.

        Being sued isn’t a threat of you have sufficient evidence.

      • 67
        Guess what? says:

        Supa in junction, wins prize.

        • 118
          The Cittie of Yorke says:

          Its quite clever, if there is no super injunction, to imply there could be one.

          The courts which issue these stupid orders would have no credibility if they now issued a denial that such an injunction existed.

          • Dave should resign now says:

            Isn’t the point of a super injunction that they cannot be publicly confirmed or denied through media outlet.

            In theory the only way you can find out about them is to be served with notice.

            Gets complicated in Parliament though, where a famous one involving something to do with Brune! a few years back highlighted the stupidity of the things.

          • Leve us some freedom, son says:

            It’s Leveson’s warnings, especially relating to forthcoming trials, that have put the frighteners on the media. Only the Mail had the guts to break the story, and the rest of the media are notable only for their craven obeisance to the wretched man’s diktats.

      • 127
        Anonymous says:

        Waiting for the denials so that govt dig themselves deeper. It’s like a striptease reveal.

      • 139
        Monkey a Minute lawyer crawls out of the closet for a good wigging says:

        “What are these “legal reasons”? ”

        My superinjuction prohibits anyone from knowing I’ve even been to court let alone why or what about.

      • 216
        Sir Mortimer Tort says:

        Bingo! Could there be a Reason No 5?

        “Rebekah Brooks and Andrew Coulson, along with others, currently await trial in relation to allegations of misconduct and corruption at the News of the World and various other publications.

        Editors and publishers are reminded of their responsibilities under the Contempt of Court Act 1981 (the Act).”

      • 481
        Pippa's perfect ass says:

        We wouldn’t know about a superinjunction. That’s what’s so super about them!

      • 484
        wesmith104 says:

        A super-injunction is a nifty little court order that public figures can get to prohibit the British press from reporting something embarrassing about them that’s not deemed to be essential information for public consumption. The first rule about super injunctions is that you can’t talk about super injunctions. (There are also normal injunctions that allow a public figure to be kept anonymous, but do not suppress reporting on the events entirely.)

        Since the press can’t report on whether a super injunction actually exists, the coverage of the scandal and the need to tiptoe around the allegations and who stands accused makes for some rather awkwardly-written articles in the UK press.

    • 68
      My Website is hosted in Bhutan says:

      It will all come out shortly in the washed-up!

      • 71
        Back@woodsman says:

        *Best Aussie accent* can you tell who it is yet ?

        • 142
          Still, Nash and Young says:

          We are totally innocent!

        • 224
          Der Bingel says:

          It’s not me, either. Maybe it’s my old Road films buddy Bob Hopeless.
          (Well, considering it’s No 10, the “hopeless” part is right, anyway…)

    • 122
      Pleb says:

      I hear that a bike was involved. Rider was asked to dismount. Members of the public were visibly shocked. Video has been seized.

  16. 33
    Just Say It says:

    So, Guido, you aren’t running the only story du jour in your column in the Sun, nor are you naming names on your blog.

    Do I have to spell out just how inadequate this makes you seem as a source of gossip and tittle-tattle?

  17. 35
    Lord-Stoke-of-Mandeville says:

    my new book

    Jimmy Saville – The Beast

    out WHS,

    use your coupon to get a discount while stocks last!

  18. 36
  19. 45
    Maurice Minor says:

  20. 52
    Labour press officer says:


    Translation of author’s random thoughts may have resulted in the unintended introduction of grammatical errors, typos, technical inaccuracies, lies, propaganda, rhetoric, blasphemy, rambling, and/or exhibition of shocking levels of ignorance.

  21. 54
    • 107
      The late Theresa April says:

      Couldn’t someone have nicked it before he came back ?

      • 111
        Busman's Holiday says:

        And this prick is supposed to be running the country!

        PMT = Passport, Money, Tickets

        • 482
          Plausible says:

          Don’t be ridiculous, Cameron is merely an errand boy, transmitting others messages.

          Where do you imagine his ‘gay marriage’ idea came from? He never mentioned it two years ago, now it is ‘vital’ think about it.

  22. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Are we now allowed to guess why Sarah Teather was so suddenly removed from serving under Michael Gove with whom she had been getting on so well?

    Nah! It’s obviously Boris and Chris Rennard!

  23. 59
    Owen Jones says:

    Is PM David Cameron trying to turn the UK into a tax haven?? http://bit.ly/OoK2M3

  24. 63
    Anonymous says:

    The political damage will come from the question:

    “Can we trust a Party whose women could bonk a swivel-eyed loon?”

  25. 66
    Annes Widdlecomeing says:

    Has anyone else noticed how much there seems to be something of the night about Theresa May these days? Wonder where she’s been hanging around upside down for the past few months.

    • 89
      anne piddlecum's wide ranging and diverse collection of homemade cunt busters says:

      shit in my mouth and say you love me

  26. 70
    Google Search engine says:

    Sorry everyone, I can’t find out who it is :(

    I know I’ve let you down; I’ve let myself down. I can do kiddie pr0n though!

  27. 73
    Bazinga! says:

    How typical that the poncy Guardian’s Nick Watt on the SP had a go at Nadine over her Jungle trip and what she did or did not make from it, yet try finding one article from this poncy left wing hack about the millions Gordon Brown makes and yet never turns up at Westminster.

    Fuck off Wat you fucking lefty creep.

  28. 82
    Clues says:

    Tryst = A prearranged meeting or assignation, now especially between lovers to meet at a specific place and time

    They are middle-aged figures and the affair has now concluded

    Mr Cameron was ‘stunned’ when told the identities of alleged lovers

    does not involve anyone serving in the Cabinet

    could ‘blow out of the water’ any major political set pieces planned by No 10.

    it could place a further strain on Mr Cameron’s leadership, which is already being tested by backbench revolts over issues such as Europe and gay marriage


    • 92
      More clues says:

      Gweedo said “Cheeky. Interesting for the lawyers too. This one will run and run”

    • 94
      More clues says:

      Che3ky. 1nteresting for the l@wyers too. This one will run and run

    • 98
      Forks says:
    • 99
      Forks says:
      • 106
        bhut says:

        the knife cuts…to create a fork in the road.
        the fork in the road is used to cut.
        there is no journey on a road devised by .

        • 133
          Anonymous says:

          what we blatantly have here people is a operative or operatives of some sort of under the counter strictly hush hush domestic or foreign or both intelligence service who works in the oh so fucking wow wow wow field of mind control.

          a growing brain can be crafted to create specific types of alters, that is to say different personalities. craft meaning subjecting a child to a series of formative experiences and for the most part they are traumatic aka sexual in nature… the sort of shit that if joe bloggs was caught doing it he’d be thrown in jail for the rest of his life.

          but because the intelligence services are involved it doesn’t get found out and without stating the fucking obvious they do whatever it takes to keep it secret.

          these type of c.o.s.m.o.s/mk ultra/copernicus programming operations have been going on for a long long time. right back in fact to the times of aristotle- who incidentally for many in the intelligence field who work in mind control regard to be jesus. as an aside that is the meaning of 322 re: skull and bones society.

          also throw into the equation bloodlines and blood types. for the record i am of mary queen of scots stock. and certain bloodlines in conjunction with certain blood types can action and unaction various sequences of dna via yes that oh so wonderful entity that the medical profession would call trauma.

          by all means just glib through this and think another fucking nutjob… but know without a shadow of a doubt there are people out there in the world who are trying to instigate the war to end all wars. and these people use vessels aka flesh proxies if you wanna call “it” to further their goal.

          when the shit hits the fan (and it will the only variances being how much shit and the what sort of fan etc etc) the most useful thing you can do is to take out (with extreme force) every mobile phone/tetra/radio mast in your vicinity. and also unplug your home wifi system.

          toodle pip!

      • 140
        Anonymous says:

        People take large swigs of drinks anyway, it’s what drinks are for. If Guido had told this bloke the weather was looking up and about time too, he would have taken a large swig of his drink.

        Unless this “affair” is inter-species the MoS are going to end up looking like wankers, and so are the ooohiknowandyoudontcleverme twatterers tweeting about it.

    • 136
      Tossaway remarker says:

      “does not involve anyone serving in the Cabinet”

      I thought they were all self-serving in the Cabinet?

      Self-servicing, too. Could all do with a che3ky girl or two to provide a blow by blow account

  29. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Why did Guido describe the front cover of the MoS as “cheeky”? Curious word to use.

    IIRC the media got around the Ryan Giggs supa injunction nonsense by juxtaposition.

  30. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Curious that Guido used the word ‘cheeky’ of the MoS front page.

    Didn’t the media get around the Ryan Giggs supa injunction through juxtaposition …?

    • 109

      Oh dear!

      You don’t mean Lembit Öpik and Ann Widdecombe, do you?

      Outrageous! That would bring both the government and the Bank of England down. Quite see why they needed the superinjunction.

    • 255
      Kippers for breakfast says:

      I seem to remember the Prime Minister kissing someone on the cheek once or twice.

  31. 117
    Owen Jones says:

  32. 121
    Gordon says:

    Only MP I can think of who does proper running (other than the odd morning jog photo op) is Big Bad Al Campbell.

  33. 124
    Pear shaped blog says:

    Sunday Sleaze?
    The sleaziest story of the day, apparently, and Guido won’t run with it.

    • 138
      Blind Man's Bluff says:

      If there is a super-injunction, he should leave this comment here.

  34. 126
    Bob Fleming says:

    I wonder if a mooslim’s involved?

  35. 131
    Fishy says:

    I wonder if it’s Jacob Reece-Mogg and Baroness Trumpington? I’ve always sensed that the ‘cheeky’ minx has a twinkle in her eye for older men.

  36. 135

    If people are bonking at our expense, then we have a right to know.


    • 155
      Flat on my back bencher says:

      How long has Schodingers Cat woked for IPSA?

      And where do I get my bonking expenses?

    • 160
      Sit Petra says:

      Bonking and expense don’t necessarily have to go together, unless that is, they are all prostitutes, (made my mind up about that one a long time ago).

      • 170
        Pin the Tale on the Donkey says:

        Pretending to be at work when you are actually ‘on the job’ would be a form of theft from the employer, which in the case of the government, means you and I. Sneaking around and laying false trails can be also expensive. I undertsand.

  37. 141
    John Minor says:

    good to see that sleaze runs in the Cunningham genes … like father, like son

  38. 149
    Michelle Obama says:

    Oh God! No! Not Samantha! And she always acted like she was my best friend and…
    Oh God!

  39. 150
    nellnewman says:

    Scandal surrounding someone important to the tory party but not a cabinet minister. hmmm. I’ll bet it’s boris!

    • 157
      Royal co-respondant says:

      “I’ll bet it’s boris!”

      Too predictable to be a scandal. Unless he were sleeping with the former Queen of the Netherlands.

  40. 151
    Err says:

    What about THIS??????

    • 158
      Dave should resign now says:

      Wasn’t Boris meant to be bonking Lagarde ?

      • 163
        BloJo's Spinners says:

        Boris is baby sitting from his last round of bonking

        We regret tgat he is too busy for more fun and games at the moment,

        Much to the regret of his many groupies

        • 168
          Dave should resign now says:

          If there is anything involving his wife, and there is really nothing to suggest that there allegedly is, it will make the rumors re: R-B nigh on impossible to credibly deny.

          Boris / Dave are distantly related, which could put to bed the rumors about a daughters parentage, unless of course the genetic match is provably beyond reasonable doubt.

      • 185
        In Paris up to my Hilt 'un says:

        He forgot the appointment. And he’d probably have bonked the chambermaid instead.

    • 164
      My boy lollypots says:

      Furry-faced twat.

      I didn’t realise Liam Byrn could grow a beard. Wig suits him though.

      • 285
        Lord Felchman, Co-Chairman of The Gay Windmill Party says:

        Who is that fucking carrot-crunching fucking bellend?

    • 333
      golli says:

      Now that would be a master stroke! B.Machiavelli.J ! Would also explain why his brother landed that cushy Camjam job. Go Boris.

    • 377
      Dodgy Hodgy says:

      If that tape really exists it must be worth trillions! Why, we could pay off the whole national debt!
      Whoever’s got that tape, hand it over – the British proletariat has a financial interest in it!

    • 414
      Anonymous says:

      This guy is madder than a box of frogs. Listen to some of his other output on Youtube and you’ll realise that he’s proof positive of the failure of Care in the Community.

      He makes David Icke sound like Bertrand Russell.

  41. 159
    Penny Mordaunt's lobbying firm says:

    We represent those concerned

    Being experienced lobbyists

    And Micro Guido is one of our stringers

    So total blackout herr

  42. 162
    Chris Huhne says:

    Was it me?

    • 165
      The last Murdoch reporter not charged says:

      Don’t tell me you stuck your thing through the bars?

      It buggers belief…

    • 167
      Motorway CCTV says:

      Durrr. Get back to the Dyke beaver. But ffs slow down! it saves energy!

  43. 169
    Nick Clegg says:

    Whatever happened to that Olympic spirit and feel good ?

  44. 176
    Was Gordon there? says:
  45. 177
    Arthur Foxache says:


  46. 180
    Whip your crack away says:

    Radio 2 have been playing ‘coming round the mountain when she comes’ like a North Korean tape loop.

    Where is Eric when you need him? A cool head and a calm hand.

  47. 182
    The Murdoch Mob says:

    Now that all our investgators are in jail or about to be jailed

    We are relying on you to stop the cheeky Mail from stealing a lead on us Fawkes

    On your bicycle now or no more goodies

  48. 184
    Whilst Rome burns, why not vote UKIP ? says:

    Has Nigel made any statement on this disturbing state of affairs yet ?

    The country could do with a reassuring pep talk, or some new uTube flicks destroying various EU apparatchik in the Euro Parliament right now.

  49. 186
    For a PR Man, Cameron is not very bright says:

    If this ‘scandal’ does not involve Sam Cam, she can be rightly very miffed at her husband for his cack-handed handling of it. There is now rampant speculation about her having done the dirty on Dave.

    • 192
      Anonymous says:

      If you are concerned about the efficacy of your husband’s cack-handed handling my dear, sign up at $150 per month to my web-site. Before or after you shave.

    • 194
      Procto says:

      If Dave is the PR man, who is the PV man?

      • 200
        Cancer Scare says:

        Polycythaemia Vera (PV) is a rare myeloproliferative disease that mainly affects people over the age of 40. Typically PV develops very slowly, caused by changes in the bone marrow. These changes cause too many red blood cells to be made. This raises the haemoglobin (Hb) level and makes the blood thicker than normal. Some people with PV also have increased numbers of white blood cells and platelets in their blood. Being a PV man does not normally shorten life expectency among adulterers.

    • 469
      The tit in no. 10 (but for much longer at all now) says:

      I take full responsibility for what happened – that is why the Person Responsible immediately didn’t go.

  50. 188
    sycho says:

    here’s joke … wanna hear it?


    promises action on lobbying hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, now that’s funny!

    • 313
      Sir Toby Beltch says:

      don’t worry, they’re all inbred tories here, they won’t respond to your comment. they tale no reponsibility for their actions and even less for their tory government

  51. 189
    Yvonne from The Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    I was disgusted last week and if what I have just been told is true then I am in a state of total apoplexy and I have never been like that since Gary Sprake played for Wales.

    The sooner the Welsh and the Scottish are free of the English the better.

    It is just too terrible.

    I cannot believe it.

    • 193
      For a PR Man, Cameron is not very bright says:

      Relax. No-one has been told anything. This is all a big hoax. There has been no sexual intercourse among married members of the Conservative party since 1964 at the latest.

    • 247
      Gary Sprake says:

      Sh1t I dropped it. And again.

  52. 191
    Golly says:

    Where are Andy Coulson and Steve Hilton when you really need them?

  53. 202
    Machiavelli says:

    So whilst there is apparently a very salacious sex scandal, is there anything else going on or going to happen to next week which may require the attention of the general public distracted ?

    • 204
      Harold Wilson's Pipe says:

      The debasement of the currency

    • 215
      Barry tells Dave . you have 45 minutes to save the world says:

      Invade Syria….YOU know it’s THE right thing to do !!!

      • 222
        Chili Con ... says:

        Are they switching the Canuck printing machine on this week ?

      • 257
        Help is at hand says:

        your 4th from last word is taboo when spelt properly for some reason. Remember to split it or make a typo then the mods stay away

      • 270
        Abdul the Camel-Breeder says:

        No, look, Dave, there’s no need to overreact. It’s over, OK? And, like, we’ve already got enough happening in Syria. And anyway it was just a bit of laugh. You’re not going to totally overreact, right?

  54. 205
    sos says:

    my local park has let all the weeds grow in places I guess to encourage wildlife. Thing is there is not one insect to be seen. loads of polish people but not one insect eee when I was a lad sky would be thick with bugs and beetles and wotnot

    • 470
      Marie A Miller says:

      I’m in charge of the bug department but I couldn’t organise the proverbial wotsit in a brewery and I’ve got a little behind.

  55. 209
    Ed says:

    On Coronwation Day my thorts turn to my own impending apotheosis. Yeth, it’th leth than two years before I am cwowned Pwime Minithter, becoth nobody and nothing can th-top me now.

  56. 219
    gotcha says:

    Why did Cameron and wife have that highly-staged and well photographed little love-break in Ibiza last week?
    Was it in response to rumours of an affair involving someone who’s “not a member of the cabinet”?

    • 221
      A holiday romance says:

      You might think that, but Sam and Dave couldn’t possibly comment.

      • 228
        wow says:

        You’re right. No wonder it’s earth shattering! The shit’s going to hit the fan when this goes public.

        • 308
          ukfred says:

          If CMD calls Sam ‘middle-aged’ then CMD is likely to be not getting very much, for a long time to come, irrespective of anything or anybody else.

  57. 225

    For the avoidance of doubt, may I just use these columns to point out that Nancy is David Cameron’s daughter and not his son?

    • 273
      Bert says:


      • 279

        OK. I won’t mention it then. Your loss.

        • 345
          Bert says:

          That’s very differently black of you!

          • M102 says:

            This is like the Sunday caption contest.

          • What, may I ask, is same black?

            Do not answer with a simple no or otherwise marks will be deducted!

          • Bert says:

            “Same black” would refer to the optical (and metaphorical) effect of maximum absorption of photons by the substrate in question, in this case your response. Which would be termed “same black” were it not genial. But it is. So I employed the politically and ethnically sensitive construction in order not to give offence to anyone, particularly those whose hobby it is to be offended, of whom there is a large and ever-growing number in Britain today.


          • Do you suppose that Andy Coulson is a Black Belt?

          • Bert says:

            A differently white belt, please.

            I don’t think it’s him and Becky making the beast with two backs that’s got Dave in a froth. It’s not a OMFG thing. My money is on Gove and the Eagle sisters.

          • That is horrible.

            Which of those could I say I don’t like yours?

            Of course there are other people with Andy’s initials not far away from home.

  58. 227
    Get outta my pub! says:

    It’s Prince Philip, he’s been knocking off a woman called Windsor for years!

  59. 229
    private aye says:

    ” Major and Curry relationship hits the headlines’ “.

    I put it down to bad kharma.

  60. 231
    Dweeb says:

    Unusually good piece here in the Graun . Victoria Coren is siding with Dave’s decision to take a holiday in Ibiza. A nice antidote to the sanctimonious lefties who say he should have stayed behind “comforting the family”.

    Interestingly, comments have been disabled “for legal reasons” (yes, them again). Or could it be they are afraid of aforementioned lefties being forced to agree that she is, in fact, correct?

    • 236
      Gooey Blob says:

      She’s rather good in Only Connect on BBC4. Mind you, that’s just about the only channel the BBC has that’s even remotely worth watching.

    • 237
      cibble says:

      It’s quite right he went to Ibiza with a host of press photographers in tow to take the photos that prove that he and Sam are still very much in love.

      • 240
        fukkum says:

        Yeah, Ibizas much preferable to going up to the shitty north to pay respects to the family of the soldier murdered by Muslim terrorists innit!

        • 245
          Kippers for breakfast says:

          People are murdered quite often in the UK, and soldiers are killed and wounded in action. If the Prime Minister had to drop everything to personally visit every affected family, they would never get anything else done.

          • Jayz says:

            It’s not everyday a serving British soldier is beheaded by Muslim terrorists in front of hundreds of onlookers just a stones throw from the centre of the capital city.

            In fact it’s the first time it’s ever happened so stick your leftie propaganda up your arse, ‘kippers for breakfast’.

            BTW UKIP is poised to break the grip of your LibLabCon so no wonder you’re coming out with crap.

          • Kippers for breakfast says:

            Calm down Jayz. If you react abraisively llike that every time you see something you disagree with, UKIP will become toxic very rapidly and you will not get anywhere like the support you need to make an impact at the ballot box.

        • 254
          sos says:

          I like Victoria Coren I hope she has lots of deadly poker player sprogs.

        • 278
          CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

          yeah Cameron wouldn’t get a kicking for a cynical photo op and accused of exploiting the death for political gain!

          The last thing the grieving need is a politician turning up for few photos.

  61. 233
    Sir Mortimer Tort says:

    In case anyone missed it…

    “Rebekah Brooks and Andrew Coulson, along with others, currently await trial in relation to allegations of misconduct and corruption at the News of the World and various other publications.

    Editors and publishers are reminded of their responsibilities under the Contempt of Court Act 1981 (the Act).”

    I will not comment further for legal reasons.

  62. 238
    Millibrain says:

    I am no’ a member of the cabine’ tho it muth be me.

    • 243
      Gooey Blob says:

      The only cabinet you’ll see is the one Labour will bury you in after you lose another 20-30 seats in 2015.

  63. 251
    CPHQ says:

    Guido, the Cameron’s don’t need a divorce lawyer so shut the fuck up.

    • 259
      Pin the Tale on the Donkey says:

      If their marriage is as good as it ought to be, they will be laughing their heads off together at some of the speculation.

  64. 253
    Anonymous says:

    • 264
      Raving Loon says:

      The birds will be eaten on Tuesday.

    • 265
      Arthur Foxache says:

      omg I will donate some of my NK beef to these starving Americans..

    • 310
      The EU puts dead North Koreans in Baby Formula says:

      The propaganda tells you much more about the conditions that those in the DPRK are being made to endure.

  65. 258
    Truly and utterly shocking if the rumours are founded in truth says:

    Political disagreements on policy are one thing but leaking this story now is beyond the pale even for the present low standards of common decency that prevail in our society.

    • 260
      A Babbling Stream says:

      Think of the law, sometimes, as being an act of theatre and consider the timing of these ‘rumours’.

      • 284

        There also seems to be only one source for this story…

        *whatever face you are supposed to make when saying this*

        • 451
          A Raven says:

          Yes. It is interesting how it allegedly comes from outside the Murdoch stable, if you take the place of publication as any kind of an indicator or provenance.

  66. 263
    nellnewman says:

    no ‘ current’ cabinet minister involved in affair scandal.

    what previous cabinet ministers are there, other than huhne ? And if it’s him – that’s hardly a scandal anyone will care about!!

    I think they’re overreacting here.

    • 277

      Agree completely.

      Also, I have a problem in erasing the mental image created by John Bellingham on the last page where he said:
      …no one would give a hoot if a Lib-Dem was shagging a giraffe in Trafalgar Square.

      Some neck!

  67. 267
    leavusalone enquiry says:

    I wondered why the Tory Party’s defence of freedom the press was so tepid.

  68. 268
    sos says:

    and I was on the mendips earlier and there is not one fucking insect to be seen, when was the last time anybody saw a stagbeetle ? or a hummingbird hawk moth ?

    • 275
      Hattie says:

      Those hills have been renamed. They are now, and always were, called The Personsdips, and you will be hunted down by the Thought Police and executed like the revisionist dog you are.

  69. 271
    • 283
      No 10 spokesman for children says:

      We believe in divorced mumms and dada

      Or, even better, two gay mums or two gay dads

      The children will be so balanced you see

    • 297
      Anonymous says:

      Gideon’s in the Cabinet, so can’t be him.

    • 311
      evil in our midst says:

      did he suddenly come to realise she is a loudmouth with fuck all to say?

      • 427
        Gagin Frit says:

        I don’t care how loud her mouth is. She can use it on me any time.

        Hottest MP of them all, in stark contrast to all those hatchet-faced Labour hags.

  70. 276
    Heterosexual with lead in pencil says:

    Why don’t we injunct all these tiresome exhibitionist shirtlifters?

  71. 280
    Squeaker says:

    Have you disgraced me again Sally?

  72. 286
    nellnewman says:

    The thing is , since immemorial, the scandals in the tory party have predominantly been sexual one’s – whilst the scandals in the labour party have predominantly been financial fraud and stuff.

    Which makes an mp/cabinet minister/ex cabinet minister/politician more unfit for office – being unfaithful or being dishonest?

    • 291
      No 10 Plod says:

      This time it must be a Tory who has not only been caught with his trousers down but has been doing it on expenses

      The moral of the story is never to mix the two…

    • 315
      Anonymous says:

      Being a Tory.

    • 320
      A Right Fucking Bastard says:

      “Ones”, not “one’s” you fucking illiterate twat.

  73. 289
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Sounds like a fishing exercise by the MoS. Compared to Labour, Tory cabinet scandals have been a bit thin on the ground in the last 3 years, with the exception of Liam Fox.

    Perhaps this is an attempt to flush something out via the internet. Look at the idiots on here throwing names around and making insinuations.

    The present Conservative cabinet line up has been a bit boring really. Must be a killer for tabloid scum who fed off Labour sleaze for so long.

    • 384
      Hey DC how many jobs have you created today says:

      These politicians spend over 40% of all we earn.

      If they have been up to something they should not have been, and it impinges upon their probity and judgement, then we all have the right to know.

      As for the good Doctor Fox we are none the wiser as to exactly what was going on and why he quit.

      It is a bit like one of those Police Officers resigning from the Force weeks before a Disciplinary Hearing.

  74. 300
  75. 301
    Shawshank Redemption says:

    I wonder what acrb means? Hmm *strokes chin*

    • 304

      It is not good enough to claim that any agenda will be blown out of the water.

      What is it doing in the water in the first place?

      (A Criminal Records Bureau, in answer to your question?)

  76. 302
    Anonymous says:

    It’s all about distraction. The lobbying scandal broke, as seems to be usual these days, on a Friday and now this non story breaks that is fuelling wild speculation. Why, if the PM has known about this for weeks does it break now.

    It’s Jo Moore’s strategy but in reverse i.e. a really bad story gets usurped by a tittle-tattle non story that’s fed to the presstitutes piece-meal.

  77. 305
    Cryptic says:


  78. 307
    "tom" jones says:


    Go to watford grove hotel on 7th to 9th June and (try to ) exercise your god given divine right to walk undisturbed around its precincts on the piublic approach roads and paths

    • 328
      Anonymous says:

      Apparently Joe Taxpayer is footing the security bill for this little private gathering in Watford later in the week, although the bilderberg crowd have no official status whatsoever.

    • 369
      Raving Loon says:

      Don’t mind us, nothing to see here. Just a gathering of world leaders, business and media figures. Nothing to concern yourselves with.

    • 452
      A Raven says:

      Can’t just make clear to the hotel and caterers that if they service this jamboree of anti-democratic pirates, they will find it bad for their businesses in future?

  79. 316
    Jimmy says:

    I think we can safely say that if even the readers of this blog have worked it out, then it’s public.

  80. 318
    Anonymous says:

    From the line that Cameron “immediately realised the importance of the story” I’m guessing that the political implications wouldn’t be immediately apparent to an outsider.

    Also, from a right-wing blogger (Iain Dale):

    Phil Reilly‏@phil_reilly9h
    Have just been told names of MoS splash affair couple. Underwhelmed.

    Iain Dale‏@IainDale9h
    @phil_reilly Then you haven’t thought it through…

    • 326
      BenBro says:

      The agenda is not about bringing down the government but dislodging DC as PM so, the thinking goes, the Tories have a better chance in 2015. And that is why Mail and Telegraph are running it.

      • 363
        Not Quite says:

        no. The agenda is to back door Labour in by getting rid of the Conservative’s best electoral asset. Clegg will be most grateful to keep those votes and Millitwit will be overjoyed at creeping into number 10.

        If people actually think that London newspaper editiorial staff are actually right-wing or Conservative, then they really don’t know much about the London media set luvvie.

        • 483
          Plausible says:

          With 20-25% of those asked saying they will be voting for UKIP, your tired and outdated assumptions, are looking rather idiotic.

    • 339
      anomalous says:

      Does MoS stand for Ministry of Sound ?

    • 341
      Caroline Shag'em Nokes says:

      I can’t understand all the fuss

      I only took Ed Milliband’s virginity for a bet

      • 344
        Hansard writer says:

        Or, as M’lad Prezza so memorably said

        If you can’t beat them, shag ‘em..

      • 354
        Stephanie (man face) Flanders says:

        I think you’ll find I had Ed first…I have also shared bodily fluids with the other Ed too!

      • 433
        Larry The Cat says:

        He wasnt using it anyway

    • 418
      Anonymous says:

      Jojo’s slapping his bollocks on something. Who cares?

    • 435
      Larry The Cat says:

      And why would MI5 tell him? Only if its a matter of national security and if they are not cabinet members that begs an interesting question

  81. 321
    Blank firing replica says:

    Owen Jones has no resonance with the policies he preaches. Jones invokes the ghosts of socialists past, attempting to lay claim to a hereditary title in the leftist establishment whilst at the same time decrying any other form of hereditary transfer.

    Jones is like a cornet player in a modern colliery band, they have to same uniform, say the things, in the same way and play the same tunes but a Jones solo will never make you cry.

  82. 322
    The Diddy Man says:

    Here they are in action – allegedly


  83. 338
    i don't n eed no doctor says:

    Cash for safe labour seats. Contact Harriett Harman.

  84. 343
    rupertsrats says:

    News Of The Screws, who’d have thought it, eh!?

  85. 347
    Caligula, getting bored says:

    I am getting tired of this lack of class in Parliament

    In my day, I organised full scale orgies

    I personally took care of the wives of the members of the Upper House

    To roars of applause

    My soldiers took care of the commoners

    Everyone was satisfied and much amused

    In total transparency of course

    Why can’t you follow my example?

  86. 348
    nellnewman says:

    I think this fuss about a non ministerial affair is a load of rubbish.

    Who cares?!

    • 352
      Retired Police Horses tell no tails says:

      Has implications for the basis on which Leveson inquiry was called, and there are still very serious question marks over the associations which Mr. Cameron has been keeping in both his private and professional life. This just adds.

      • 374
        nellnewman says:

        No! It’s an absolute load of twaddle!! Who gives a toss!!!

        Name Names and get it over with I’m bored already!!!

      • 391
        Cobblers! says:

        How does it? It was independently set up by Leveson. How does these two shagging affect that or Cameron or the course of the government?

        • 425
          Retired Police Horses tell no tails says:

          Some of the stories which led to that decision, not the celeb rubbish but the government leaks, were believed to be sourced from phone hacking.

          This uncovers a more direct leak, which is serious.

          Checking over certain testimony given in that inquiry may well show that some on the stand perjured themselves more than was realized.

          It was independently set up by Leveson, after Labour called for it to be and Cameron agreed.

          The whole situation is a mess.

          The shagging aspect is salacious. That their relationship was that close, and one influenced the employment of the other by Cameron suggests that this Prime Minister is easily manipulated.

          Such a man is truly not fit for office.

  87. 349
    Retired Police Horses tell no tails says:

    So affair gate out the way, seems to be somewhat serious for Dave on a number of fronts, but not as serious as the calls for no-confidence votes, UKIP and a cross party variant on cash for questions.

    Now the boots have been warmed on his behind, what about the matter of the Labour peers who have been caught with their fingers in the same grubby pie as Mercer ? Laird resigned his whip today.


    Good timing seeing as Harman seems to be selling safe seats at the moment.

    • 375
      nellnewman says:

      Yawn!!! These people just so think themselves so important! Who cares who they’ve slept with!!

    • 455
      Corruption Steals From Democracy says:

      Every single one of these anti-democrats should be in prison for conspiracy to subvert the proceedings of Parliament.

  88. 351

    Hey Guildo, are the bookies taking bets yet on who is shagging who? If so whats the odds that Bercow is involved somewhere?

  89. 353
    Anonymous says:

    ### Surely the phrase ‘sub judice NOT a super-injunction’ is massively significant ??? ###

    • 364
      Anonymous says:

      You can’t be charged for shagging someone if you’re of legal age and it’s by consent so sub-judice could only be of indirect relevance, if any, in another case in which charges have already been brought. Load of old hogwash though really.

      • 456
        The Bailey says:

        It would shed a massive light on the credibility of some of the defendants’ statements about themselves, their relationships, what they knew and their actions.

  90. 355
    Anonymous says:

    “The Metropolitan Police set up a phoneline…”

  91. 356
    Anonymous says:

    Now I’ve heard it, what a boring story has been circulating today. Must be to deflect from the Gov’ts real difficulties. Actually didn’t realise they weren’t shagging each other anyway tbh. Non story.

  92. 358
    Mad MacTaffy MacFuckaDuck. says:

    so no-ones got any idea who this couple is then ?… assume we can’t even conjecture anymore … blunkett and the no 10 pussy ? gordon and a poodle ?
    such a shame this confusement ….

  93. 359
    Tedium says:

    God, but England really suck the life out of the football experience, don’t they?

  94. 360
    johnberk says:

    I can´t help myself but I only see that COCAINE written on the front page.
    Have you noticed anything about the crackstarter campaign in Canada? I mean our politicians are really low but this seems to go much deeper.

  95. 365
    Vacuous Unpaid Labour Intern Esq. says:

    Go to you porn and do a search for Tulisa. She’s not very good.

  96. 366
    Anonymous says:

    ### Looks like the dam is about to burst on Twitter… ###

  97. 367
    • 368
      NB says:

      Your either in front…..!!

    • 439
      Hang The Bostards says:

      Has Dave got any siblings ?

      • 466
        Ed Miliband says:

        Yes. It must be odd seeing David get all the attention and wanting a piece of the action for yourself. Tempting almost.

      • 475
        Stunning Speculation says:

        Alex Cameron is at the top of his profession. He may not be a household namebut he has money, friends and recognition within his peer group. Why would he feel the need to involve himself with someone of the initials RB?

        • 487
          Leve us some freedom, son says:

          Because the flame-haired harpie flung him on the bed and forcibly sucked him off whilst his old school mate Charlie was temporarily otherwise engaged in the stables? The possibilities are endless.

  98. 370
    Anonymous says:

    Labour already helpfully briefing privately on implications of #DowningStAffair for PM. Tory irreconcilables laughing at his predicament.— Guido Fawkes (@GuidoFawkes) June 2, 2013

  99. 371
    Anonymous says:

    The story says more about the person who’s spreading it. Very unimpressive!….The trouble with the internet is thats allows anyone to claim anything in the belief that they can get away with it. Then a paper picks it up and thinks hang on this is a good story and then everyone sits around thinking its all true and we all speculate about this which is very likely not to be true !….. Ive seen the evidence so far and im not impressed at all. Currently what is provided is total rubbish that some 16 year old schoolboy could have come up with! The individual is probably just trying get a name for himself. Individual claims to have seen further ‘real’ proof, but then says this only ”apparently’ exists . Either he has the evidence or not. Total waste of our time. Eventually this will probably majorly backfire for individual concerned.

  100. 372
    Drone says:

    I might have got it. Is it S**** B***** and Lord ********?

    • 376
      NB says:

      try 359

    • 378
      nellnewman says:

      Who cares who they are!!

      This is an absolute load of twaddle .

      It’s being hyped out of all proportion by no 10 being secretive and stupid. No 10 needs to get a life and start naming names – end of matter!!

      • 387
        blub says:

        It’s not even like it has to be the real names. When Major had his affair with Currie didn’t they pretend it was a cook?

  101. 373
    don't make me laugh says:

    Is what I’ve heard is correct, it’s all rather boring.
    I can’t see how this would even remotely bring down
    the Government.
    Wishful thinking on the part of the metropolitan left.

    • 379
      nellnewman says:

      The metropolitan left – Ah I see it’s labour, militwit twatson and balls, gordon’s old spin and smear machine again is it?!!

  102. 380
    blub says:

    Best to speculate on the most salacious and/or damaging possibilities so they come clean to show it’s actually less bad than people think.

    • 402
      nellnewman says:

      Nope! Let’s speculate on worst case scenario – pm has had threesome with hatty harpic and chuckusyamoney!!!!

      Even then I have to ask do we care? Or would we rather have a government who is concentrating on getting labour’s economic mess under control, getting us out of the eu and working on growth!

  103. 381
    R. Harris Esq. says:

    Can you tell who it is yet?

  104. 382
    Owen Jones says:

    Sod Chinese water torture, the Government should make suspected terrorists watch England friendlies non-stop.

  105. 388

    Recent studies show that the average penis weighs 2.6 oz but they can’t yet weigh a сunt.

    What is all the fuss about?

  106. 392
    Absolutely and totally uninteresting says:

    Tend to agree. There are so many rumours swirling about and especially one in particular which is exceptionally obnoxious but none of which will damage Cameron with the public. The chattering classes may think so but none of the rumours would raise even an eyebrow north of Watford. Now can we actually concentrate on issues that the public think are important and not who shagged who and when

  107. 396

    I bet its not Andy Coulson and Rebekah Brooks.


  108. 398
    nellnewman says:

    It”s Ridiculous !!! Do we really care whether the No 10 Cat is ummm carrying on with the cat at No 11 or whether Lord so and so is having threesomes with the secretarial staff?

    What’s more important is, is this government capable of getting to grips with the economic crisis that labor left us? can they get us out of the failed EU? and can they keep us out of the growing middle east problems?

    • 404
      nellnewman says:

      All the same the scandal is being stoked higher and higher by no 10′s secretve behaviour. Far better to come clean and say this is what’s happened.

      I doubt any of us , after the political scandals of the last decade, which have scanned every depravity, are going to shock us. They just need to get it over with. The quicker the better!!

      • 445
        Enemy Combatant says:

        They can’t, because it is sub judice, and releasing the names would be contempt of court.

        Though Guido more or less told everyone over a week ago.

        • 447
          Enemy Combatant says:

          Though there is an alternative interpretation to Guido’s hint which might be more interesting…

        • 465
          Dave Miliband says:

          I agree. If what we have here is a Cain and Abel story, things would be truly fascinating.

    • 410
      The Rt Hon David Cameron says:

      “Nell, I can assure you that this government is not interested in any pussy stories”

      • 422
        nellnewman says:

        The point is we, the electorate , are not interested in pussy stories. Not even multiple ones!

        • 429
          The Rt Hon David Cameron says:

          But Nell, what if say, one of the persons was a No. 10 insider and the other person was a high ranking executive of a major international news company, for arguments sake.

        • 443
          Spank. The Bishop. says:

          I LIKE pussy stories.

          • Baldy Leveson says:

            I agree. Bring back the News of World. Much more interesting than the Sun on Sunday, with or without Guido’s highly polished column.

  109. 405
    Owen Jones says:

    So Cameron has used the police to escort his passport & has been granted a super-injunction for press not to reveal no 10 affair identities.

  110. 412
    Maharaja Vaz says:

    Those ruffians are kicking off in Turkey again, live stream.


  111. 415
    Anonymous says:

    David Laws?

    • 423
      nellnewman says:

      Bless. Clegg’s an idiot!

      • 426
        Retired Police Horses tell no tails says:

        In preparing for a Labour / UKIP coalition, one suspects that the current lot will use any excuse to set up more restrictive laws / regulations on Parliament in order to make it easier to dislodge the next government.

        Look to where Labour draw the lines on any such new rules / laws to see where their next scandals will emerge, or indeed may well be hidden at present.

        Clegg has nothing to lose in getting the ball rolling.

    • 432
      Larry The Cat says:

      thats the law hes promised for 3 years. Aw bless

    • 449
      A Voter says:

      This is student union politics. Pass a law, wave a wand.

      None of these people has a clue about actually doing anything sensible, like enforcing the existing laws and picking better people to run on their parties’ tickets.

  112. 424
    Dr Éoin Clarke PhD says:

    OK. Both names are on this page.

    We can all go home. Oh! We are all home.

  113. 430
    Red Herring says:


  114. 431
    Dave and the lawyers (allegedly) says:

    I guess Dave has taken out a super duper super injunction where no mention of the injunction banning the mention of the injunction that bans the mention of the injunction banning the mention of the affair or participants.

    Injunction were originally invented to protect children so Dave’s injunctions could be doing just that. If it were national security he could have used a D notice.

    • 440
      albacore says:

      So Parliament consorts with illicit fornicators
      And we’re supposed to be astounded, us pleb spectators
      That our dear, loving leaders could stray so dumbfoundlingly?
      Holy cow, what is it now that they’re dropping in Dave’s tea?

      • 441
        albacore says:

        Better watch what goes in my herbal tea
        When attempting to spell “dumbfoundingly”

    • 446
      Enemy Combatant says:

      No need for an injunction. Even the Mail tells you that.

  115. 434
    • 438
      Properties says:

      Guido’s acrb.png is hardly explosive unless it’s just one journo and the other initial is a politico or a sir Humphry

  116. 437
    housing says:

    Is Mr shapps an ex minister now?

  117. 444
    MB. says:

    I see Balls is promising to end Winter Fuel Payments to ‘rich’ pensioners. Completely pointless action that will save very little and could cost quite a bit to administer.

    • 474
      Anonymous says:

      Sounds like the perfect Labour policy! Balls truly is the Heir of Brown!

  118. 459
    Travel Agent says:

    May needs a suntan. There must be an important meeting of interrior ministers somewhere tropical and sunny she can attend?

  119. 463
    Dave Miliband says:

    Sibling rivalry. Who would have thought that it would make such a come-back in the 21st century?

  120. 485
    wesmith104 says:

    A super-injunction is a nifty little court order that public figures can get to prohibit the British press from reporting something embarrassing about them that’s not deemed to be essential information for public consumption. The first rule about super injunctions is that you can’t talk about super injunctions. (There are also normal injunctions that allow a public figure to be kept anonymous, but do not suppress reporting on the events entirely.)

    Since the press can’t report on whether a super injunction actually exists, the coverage of the scandal and the need to tiptoe around the allegations and who stands accused makes for some rather awkwardly-written articles in the UK press.

  121. 489

    Who do we the general Public believe runs the Social ,Economical and Employment agenda’s in this Country – the Government ,sorry we are all sadly mistaken ,we only vote in power which Party Lies enough to us that they will improve our daily lives .The Bilderberger’s run this Countries Misfortunes meetings are held yearly and attended by the CEO’s of large World Wide Companies ,Government Ministers and have done since 1954 under the strictest of security .They decide on World Pricing ,Economies ,Social Cohesion ,Education and numerous other topics .Osborne,Ed Balls ,Ken Clarke and Mandleson are just some of the 140 all cosily sat together discussing Our Future .It is held this Year in Watford at the Grove Hotel. Read more background , http://brokenbritishpolitics.simplesite.com

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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