May 10th, 2013

Labour Owe Downgraded Co-op Millions

Bad news for the Co-op today as Moody’s downgrades their debt rating to junk status. Labour’s bank of choice has been battered by bad debts over recent years, one of their major debtors is – surprise, surprise – none other than the Labour Party themselves. Of the £3,580,000 borrowed in 1999, only £189,000 has been repaid, meaning Labour still owe their troubled lender £3,391,000. Maybe they could pay them back to help them out a bit…


120 Comments

  1. 1
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Two Eds One Downgrade.

    • 8

      …and it’s all balls.

      • 32
        A Co-Op Bank Spokesperson says:

        It is with regret that I have to inform our stakeholders, that the bank is no longer viable and that our prudent investment in the Labour party was, a rather poorly thought out idea.

        These investments totalling many millions of pounds, have turned out to be a massive liability and according to our underwriters, an unrecoverable loss.

        Our expert debt collection team have made contact with a certain Ed Balls, who, in a poorly worded letter, pointed out and I quote, ” you must have been mad to lend us any dosh, we haven’t a clue about that sort of shit”.

        At the present time we have had no further contact with Mr. Balls, or even know of his whereabouts.

        • 42
          Ed Balls says:

          Ed Balls

        • 57
          Old Blind Pugh says:

          Just think this it is a lot better than losing £25B

        • 86
          Aunt Hilda says:

          suspect hes receiving a stiff talking to by Yvette the Impaler whose own sneer can only be surpassed by the impression of her snatch on his kisser. That’ll give him someting to stammer about.

    • 21
      Trotskyite Lennie says:

      So no interest is being paid on the principal over those 14 years?

      £3,580 – £189 = £3,391K

      I would suggest that the debt is closer to £10 million by now.

      • 63
        V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

        Much more than that as the Labour Party would have been charged an enormous interest rate because they would have been evaluated as extremely high risk. Any sensible lender would have charged about % 400 interest. The only place Labour can probably borrow now is Wonga.

        • 74
          Cooperative Bank Manager says:

          Oh no, the Labour Party are our friends and Very Ethical. We think their business is extremely low risk, in fact we even may for some of their MPs

        • 78
          Maqboul says:

          It was a CONSERVATIVE estimate.

      • 80
        NE Frontiersman says:

        Didn’t they borrow a lot recently to pay for redundancies of party workers? I think Guido covered this few months ago. So this is only the tip of the iceberg, if you’ll pardon the Titanic allusion.

      • 82
        By your beds says:

        Maybe the Labgals could fook around like they fooked the country, and charge for it?
        Every little helps (and, yes, it would only be a little that they would earn.)

        Come on ‘arriet, ‘azel, and all you other scrubbers.

    • 24
      absolutelypassionate says:

      If the unions could get some more “modernisation” money from taxpayers, then I’m sure they would be able to provide Labour with the means to settle the debt to the Co-op.

      • 28
        Divi Up says:

        • 107
          Hi, I'm Barry Scott says:

          I see their lack of buy British campaign wasn’t doing so well. Why do we want Dutch & Danish bacon when British is better.

          And what is up with this constant moderation, I’m forever having to change my sock puppet, it is getting quite tiresome. I wouldn’t mind if I actually said something controversial.

          And why bother saying this post is awaiting moderation, because you never un-moderate them, you just ignore them. Why not leave a message saying, for some random reason we’ve decided not to publish your funny post, so tough titty.

      • 96
        efrem zimbalist jr says:

        Gordon McManse says :

        Me an Tony could settle the debt if you ll accept payment in old Granita receipts …

  2. 2
    Alexsandr says:

    good job they didnt buy bits of Lloydstsb if their lending criteria are so skewed as to lend to Labour. I would not lend Labour 5p.

  3. 3
    Ed Balls says:

    I’m a Co-operative party MP. You can trust me.

    • 55
      Democracy Now says:

      You and the rest of your corrupted Co-op shysters are a disgrace to democracy, bought and paid for by one of the nastiest conglomerates in the country.

  4. 4
    damned impertinent questions says:

    “I am a pretty straight sort of guy ….just trust me with it”

  5. 5
    Real world says:

    Debt – consistent if nothing else!

  6. 6
    stifford crapps says:

    but will we get our divi?

  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    It’s an Investment in the Co-op, not an overdraft according to the Gordon Playbook

    • 23
      Anonymous says:

      His inability to understand the difference between borrowing and investing always troubled me

      • 44

        It was his inability to understand which end of the mobile to talk into that really worried me.

        That and all those naked conferences he held

      • 51
        Cynical-old-bag says:

        Borrowing money to pay back debts is futile. Even I know that, and I was a humble administrator.

        Still, why bother when it’s not your money. Much easier to spend the taxpayers hard-earned cash, isn’t it.

  8. 9
    Who runs Great Britain these days? says:

    What pisses me off is 1) Europe telling the UK government it must break up Lloyds and 2) The UK government saying to Europe yes sir three bags full sir consider it done sir.

  9. 10
    Pete Marwick-McClinton says:

    I thought insolvency proceedings could be brought when the debt is demanded and cannot be paid – WIND UP LIEBORE !!

  10. 11

    Labour is all pain and no gestation.

    • 18
      Ed Balls banked my hamster says:

      Perhaps they should consider issuing debt instruments against Owen Jones and Red Penny.

      The literary work and media status of these two must be worth something.

      For example: How much is this sort of opinion worth ?

      • 31
        Ed Balls says:

        I wank furiously over it every night.

      • 35

        Bundle them up and CDO them. Some sucker will buy. By mid-2015 they should be on the point of going bust and then Chancellor Balls can bail them out with taxpayers’ money.

        • 39
          Ed Balls banked my hamster says:

          At a million to one rehypothecation they may be able to get a few quid for the franchise.

          CDO’ing the BBC appearances is essentially the first level of bail-out, so bailing out the CDO – that would be a second order derivative of sorts against the tax payer ?

          Someone needs to get legislation through to prevent such tax payer bail-outs moving forward. BoE should be lender of last resort, not Joe Public.

          • Cynical-old-bag says:

            Their second-hand office furniture is probably worth more.

          • Ed Balls banked my hamster says:

            Good point. But what is second hand !kea pap fetching these days ?

          • Was involved (early 1990s) in linking insurance and finance products to manage risk for good-paying customers of residual values in assets where the m@rket values had changed during the life of the goods.

            That seemed to me a sensible way of limiting customer’s risks so that they could do what they were good at: running their businesses with costs fixed as far as could be done.

            Then the mad boys came along and started to say things like You can’t make money by lending to good payers, the margins are too thin. They took the concept I had, with others, helped to create and desecrated it by going sub-prime. It is a wonder that it lasted as long as it did.

          • Ed Balls banked my hamster says:

            Well Labour were propping a lot of it up with benefits here, and over in the US they were busy doing equity release on the assets folk couldn’t afford the debt on in order to ‘pay’ the debt.

            Wasn’t really a sustainable business model.

            As has been proved.

          • RVI, Residual Value Insurance, is being done still on certain assets and some who had exited the business have re-entered.

            It is when it reaches financial guarantee stage that the problems occur and Lloyds of London were quick to spot that and would not write the business at all.

    • 97
      efrem zimbalist jr says:

      surely you mean all piss and even more wind

  11. 13
    Ron Barras says:

    If these people can’t even manage their own money, there’s no way we should ever trust Labour to manage our money.

    • 14
      Trotskyite Lennie says:

      Problem is, their voters know that they are managing other people’s money into their pockets.

      • 60
        Democracy Now says:

        True. A serious investigation is in order into the way Labour and Co-operative councillors send ‘work’ to Co-op subsidiaries for staging bread and circus vote-gathering activities like Chris Robbin’s ‘Big Six’ celebrations of the Olympics in Waltham Forest

    • 98
      efrem zimbalist jr says:

      ARE LIAM BYRNE S FOOTPRINTS ALL OVER THIS ONE — WAS HE A NON EXEC ON THE CO OP BOARD ??

  12. 15
    Labour says:

    Everything we touch, we turn to shit.

    • 17
      Gordon and his chum Victor did for Lloyds says:

      This is true. Lloyds was one of if not the most safe boring bank in the UK and was safely riding out the banking storm.

      Then suddenly Gordon has his cunning plan to wreck it by forcing it to take over HBOS.

      • 41

        Quite right. Both Lloyds and Barclays were once run by Quaker families who could never have imagined how badly their successors have goofed up.

        • 54
          Ed Balls banked my hamster says:

          If anyone had foreseen the economic miracle known as Gordon Brown, then they would have done the honorable thing and served their time knowing it was for the greater good.

          Bob Diamond / del Misier appointments though still odd.

          Fun fact: Apparently Canada is the number one country for card fraud affecting UK high street banks. Feel good with Carney as Governor ?

          Oh – if you go to Canada, let your bank know first otherwise they are likely to kill your card as a security precaution as soon as it hits a reader there. By that time your card is likely to have been cloned and be used by various criminal gangs for mainly money laundering activities. Nice.

          • Did you see this $45 million fraud done in ten hours?

            http://bit.ly/16lXxFd

          • Ed Balls banked my hamster says:

            Those types of fraud are quite common. That was a large one though by geographic area.

            The gang must have forgotten about details such as fingerprints, cameras, and that perhaps that the serial numbers on the bills may be known and people are watching their communication if they organized this on the net.

            Hopefully the victims got their money back swiftly. Those pre-paid debit cards are not usually held by wealthy folk.

            The magnetic stripe is completely insecure and has been from day one. This is only a major problem now as the card readers / writers are available and cheap.

            What the banks don’t like to tell you is that the chip ‘n’ pin systems are compromised as well.

            Wouldn’t bank too closely on RFID either.

          • A traveller to foreign parts says:

            Last year I visited a major international (Japanese) supermarket. When I came to pay the bill I handed the cashier my card telling him that it would need my PIN input. When the machine clicked and the ‘input PIN’ message came up, he merely pressed a key on the till and the transaction went through normally. I peeped and saw that it was labelled “PIN bypass”.

            PIN security? Where????

      • 43
        Cynical-old-bag says:

        He was saving the world, you know.

      • 99
        efrem zimbalist jr says:

        don t you mean GORDON HAS THIS CUNNING STUNT … to wreck it etc ??

  13. 16
    Trotskyite Lennie says:

    The Co-op Bank is a not for profit bank. It doesn’t make profit because that would be immoral. It therefore loses money hand over fist in a sustainable fashion. As soon as Labour gets back in, it will bail out the Co-op, this acme of ethical banking, scracth all debts… trebles all round!

  14. 19
    Len McCluskey , just left of Lenin says:

    When I come to power I’ll tax the banks and pay them back with the money .

    P.S. economics not our strong suit

    • 30
      Ed Balls banked my hamster says:

      Ed Miliband, in his car crash interview the other day, did state that economic growth is caused by increased tax receipts.

    • 103
      Martha at One says:

      I still don’t understand.

  15. 22
    Nosegay says:

    If all the new Liebor councillors hand over all their unearned expenses the debt’ll be paid.

  16. 25
    Raving Loon says:

    Tax the people, lend it to the banks, who in turn lend it back to the people at a margin.

    Simples.

    • 37
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      But the real bonus is that there might be a top executive seat on the Board when it all goes pear-shaped and they lose the next election.

      Simples.

  17. 26
    Viewer says:

    I believe I am right in saying that since the Co-op bank took over the Britannia Building Society, we former Britannia members have been drawn into carrying the Labour Party.

    • 47
      Steve Miliband says:

      Dont shop at the Co-op
      Don’t buy awful Harry Potty books
      Don’t buy Green and Blacks chocolate

    • 90
      A traveller to foreign parts says:

      Yes, every transaction elicits a small ‘donation’ to the Party. I’d change my bank if I were you.

  18. 27
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Glad I don’t have my savings with them!

    What is it with Socialists always running out of money?

    • 38
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      As I’ve often said before, Gordon never had the criteria to fit the post as Chancellor. He was given the job because of who he knew, not what he knew. The only financial experience he’d had was to run his own monthly household budget. No financial expertise, and no common sense. No wonder the country’s going down the gurgler.

      Says it all, really.

      • 64
        Real world says:

        James Brown (real name) did his PhD on the history of the Scottish Labour Party. Clearly his research was crap, as even an imbecile like him should have learn’t that every time Labour left power, the economy had been trashed. He was keeping up tradition.

        • 73
          Bollocks to getting a pseudonym says:

          I’ve just found a couple of James Brown records among my old 45s. “I’m gonna stay on the scene, like a tax machine.”

    • 66
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      Andy many years ago the Nationwide Building Society had another name, The Cooperative Building Society

  19. 29
    Moley says:

    The Co-op urgently needs to ballot its members, (customers) to obtain consent for the millions it has gifted to the Labour party.

    It can’t pretend to be a mainstream bank and act like a rotten labour borough at the same time.

    And yes; a loan which is never repaid is a gift.

    • 62
      Seen It says:

      The Co-op management doesn’t give a shit what its members think. They buy polticial cover by buying MPs and councillors up and down the land. The whole ‘members’ thing is a crock of shit. They are a particularly nasty and parasitic enterprise which lives off the back of the poor.

      • 77
        Memory Man says:

        Wasn’t there a scandal at the Co-op about 15 years ago when some senior managers walked off with £10Million or so?

    • 115
      John Bellingham says:

      If no provision has been made to repay the loan, it is probably illegal under Labour’s own Political Parties, Elections and Referendums Act 2000

  20. 34

    Let Labour run the country……… they can’t even run Labour.

    • 40
      Cynical-old-bag says:

      Ah, but if they could get the taxpayer to bankroll their electoral campaigns………….!!!!

    • 92
      Phil says:

      “Cant run a bath” is probably a more accurate statement but I get your drift.

  21. 36
    City Ferret says:

    So Co-Op are now going to have to turn to Wonga in order to fund their liabilities. Ha ha, short.

  22. 45
    The Insurance Firm of Kray & Kray says:

    “Of the £3,580,000 borrowed in 1999, only £189,000 has been repaid, meaning Labour still owe their troubled lender £3,391,000…”

    It’s called “debt-restructuring,” which, when we wuz in that game, amounted, in practical terms, to “Don’t worry, just so long as you keep paying us the ‘vig,’ we’re ‘appy to let ya ‘old onto wot we’ve lent ya.” Trufe be told, we never thought any o’ the deadbeats we lent money to would ever pay us back in full on time– we woo’n’ta known wot t’ do wiff all that dosh if they ‘ad done! ‘Course, we wuz a bit more diligent about collectin’ if they didn’t pay anyfing a-tall– ‘ey Bob, a re-bar, if you will, if they didn’t come up wiff enough bob, if ya catch our drift…

    • 58
      Ed Balls banked my hamster says:

      Debt restructuring with baseball bats and hot irons could be in order.

      To Millbank they should go.

  23. 49
    Owen Jones says:

    The co-op should be run on marx’s economic theory.

  24. 50
    Steve Miliband says:

    They’ve invested too far, too fast. They need short term borrowings to reduce long term borrowings. A bankers bonus tax should solve it. They need a jobs guarantee. They need a Judge led enquiry.

  25. 53
    Tax Cuts for the Rich says:

    JK Rowling is worth about £600 million.
    The Labour debt would seem like loose change to her.

    • 59
      Ed Balls banked my hamster says:

      Perhaps she could lend them an invisibility cloak for when the bailiffs show up.

    • 68
      Another Engineer says:

      Too busy buying neighbouring houses and knocking them down because they spoil her view.

  26. 65
    albacore says:

    Writing-off Labour as an irrecoverable bad debt
    Is the best recommendation the electorate’s had yet
    The Liberals and Tories meet the same classification
    Never will that gang repay what they’ve cost the British nation

  27. 76
    Ed Balls Up Master Economist says:

    As it is with a bank, so it is with a country, you borrow a bit ( well quite a lot really ) don’t pay it back and hey presto a fucking great deficit!

    • 106
      Old Blind Pugh says:

      It’s the old one, if I borrow £1000 I worry, if I borrow £1million the bank worries

  28. 79
    Fish says:

    It was not much more than a year ago when on her BBC / Labour Radio 5 Live show, the pretentious Victoria Derbyshire was running a story on banking – after something had cropped up at Barclays.

    ‘Where,’ she said, in the indignant semi hysterical tone that she reserves for moments like this, ‘ can you find a bank you can trust.’

    Well knock me down wiv a feather! Up pops the next caller….’I bank with the Co-op’, the caller said, somewhat smugly.

    Now call me suspicious but I would reckon that VD of the BBC, when asking her question knew very well who the next caller would be and the point that she would be making.

    Ha ha ha. While Barlcays (who never troubled the taxpayer for a penny), are getting their house in order, VD’s favourite bank is going tits up.

  29. 84
    JH3983924239 says:

    Imagine if a ‘nasty’ bank were so forgiving and cosy with the Tories.

    Lefties would be spitting feathers.

  30. 85
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Here’s the solution: WE pay. This is how it works in Waltham Forest.
    Last year the council organised six public events – pop concerts and firework displays, to celebrate the Olympics. At first we naively thought that the Big6 were being paid for out of Olympic money , as a thank you for losing playing fields, and various other disruptions.
    Then we realised that the Council had been putting aside the money for a year or two, at the same time as closing libraries and other vital amenities, to find the £1.5 million needed.
    The organiser of the jollities (known unkindly as Chavstock by some)?
    Surprise! Cooperative Events!

    Any reader in a safe Labour borough who has the energy to put in a FoI to find out what dealings his/her council has had with any branch of the Coop might find out interesting connections. Nationally, it could be quite a tidy sum.

  31. 91
    green pixie says:

    Does this mean that all the Cooperative sponsored educational trusts, running hundreds of schools around the country, are going to go tits up?

  32. 93
    A true story says:

    A call to the bank’s general number shown on it’s headed paper:

    Ring ring….
    rumpty tumpty tumpty tum rumpty tumty tum…
    Click boing beep..
    Voice: Welcome to Useless Bank. We value your call which will be recorded and may be used for training purposes…
    Silence….
    Click: Voice: If you want to ask a daft question, Press 1. If you want to ask an an even dafter question, Press 2…
    Silence
    [presses button of choice]
    Rumpty tumpty tumpty tum.. click
    Voice: Hallo, I’m Abigail. What is your full name?
    Me: [tells her]
    Her: What is your account number?
    Me [tells her]
    Her: What was your grandmother’s maternal name?
    Me: [tells her]
    Her: Thank you, how can I help you?
    Me: I want to enquire about a missing statement.
    Her: Sorry, I can’t help you there. You need to speak to someone in our missing statements office. Hold on I’ll just transfer you. Click
    ring ring.
    click.
    rumpty tumpty tumpty tum rumpty tumpty…..
    Click boing beep..
    Voice: Welcome to Useless Bank. We value your call which will be recorded and may be used for training purposes…
    Silence….
    Click: Voice: If you want to ask a daft question, Press 1. If you want to ask an an even dafter question, Press 2…
    Silence
    [presses button of choice]
    Rumpty tumpty tumpty tum.. click
    Voice: Hallo, I’m Ahmed. What is your full name?
    Me: [tells him]
    Him. Thank you and what is your account number?
    Me: [tells him]
    Him. Thank you and what was your sister’s first car?
    Me: [tells him]
    Him: Thank you. How may I be helping you?
    Me: I want to enquire about a missing statement for February.
    Him: Oh sorry, that is not this department. We only have records up to December 2012. Hold on, I’ll just transfer you to the right department. Click
    Silence
    ring ring ring ring….
    rumpty tumpty tumpty tum rumpty tumty tum…
    Click boing beep..
    Voice: Welcome to Useless Bank. We value your call which will be recorded and may be used for training purposes…
    Silence….
    Click: Voice: If you want to ask a daft question, Press 1. If you want to ask an an even dafter question, Press 2…
    Silence
    [presses button of choice]
    Rumpty tumpty tumpty tum..
    Me: [Shouting at the phone]. click. buzzzzzz

    I just wasted 20+ minutes of my life trying to talk to somebody sensible.

    • 109
      Beatty says:

      At least you got to talk to a human being. Real people have been eliminated from my business.

    • 119
      Educating the ignorant says:

      It’s “its headed paper”, not “it’s”.

      it’s, a contraction of it is or it has
      its, the possessive form of the pronoun it

  33. 94
  34. 95
    Beggars belief says:

    Another Northern Cock-up? Thanks, Labour.
    Can I have my free Heathrow Airport shares now?

    As a customer I’ll be moving to a safer bank like they have in Cyprus.

  35. 102
    Bugler Bert says:

    DAVE & Co now know what to do whenever one of those cretins opposite come up with a suggestion on finance, just two words [ no, not those two] just “Co-op Bank”…………. I would be laughing, but the fact that the only way out of that debt is to sell their souls to the unions, we all know what means……..

  36. 105
    ben says:

    Only taxpayers working in ‘ethical’ jobs will be required to bail out the Co-op bank.

  37. 108
    Anonymous says:
  38. 110
    domino316 says:

    Looks like a good case for a bit of shareholder activism, snap up a couple of shares in the Plc then stir up the breach of fiduciary duty from failing to adequately assess risk on preferential loans (or collect bad debts from Labour)..bingo!

  39. 112
    NE Frontiersman says:

    In one sense, it’s a tragedy of missed opportunities: if they could lose £600 million in one year with only 85 branches, what could they have achieved with 632 Lloyds ones as well?

    • 113
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Apparently the groundcrews down at lloyds’ High Street branch in Swanage were running some very successful moneylaundering rackets during the reign of terror and Jim Knight MP ‘knew evidently all about it’ – but kept his gob shut … and for that he got a gong well well!

      • 114
        Blowing Whistles says:

        p.s. A lowly southern bbc reporter who also knew at the time and did “nothing” about it has subsequently been promoted … He now works for Panorama!

  40. 116
    Penfold says:

    “””Of the £3,580,000 borrowed in 1999, only £189,000 has been repaid.”””

    That would be classified as hardcore debt and interest charged would not be taken to profits.
    Indeed a Bank Risk Manager would insist on tangible security, by way of guarantees to cover the debt.
    But, the debt given its non-repayment status, would be reportable to the FSA, and quarterly interst charges would have to be covered or the debt classified as bad.
    Given the length of time that this has been outstanding i’m very very surprised that no action has been taken.

    So, one can assume that the security is very good and the guarantees cast iron, BUT, also that the fix has gone in to prevent Labour’s debt being called up, and the guarantor’s (Unions) coughing up.

    No wonder Moody’s down-graded Co-op Bank, you can’t run a bank in that slip-shod fashion.

  41. 117
    Labour Party says:

    Repaying loans is for the little people..

  42. 118
    Bravery says:

    Ed Balls answering questions on the Co-operative Party website in 2010.
    2. One of the stated objectives of the Co-operative Party is to promote co-operatives and all forms of mutual organisation. What specific actions have you taken in your political career to advance this objective?

    “I promoted co-operatives throughout my time in government. As Economic Secretary and the first Labour and Co-operative Minister responsible for mutuals and financial services I ensured Government support for the modernisation of co-operative law through a range of statutory instruments that built on recent Private Members Bills.

    I was able to show this by ensuring Treasury support for a new Private Members Bill that led to the creation of the first ever ‘super-mutual’, bringing Britannia Building Society and the Co-op Bank together in the interests of customers, rather than the banking elite.”

    So cheap loans to Labour and subsequent support from the Co-operative MP for a takeover of Britannia. I am sure that these two facts are unconnected.

  43. 120
    Socialism = starvartion says:

    Well those cynics who thought that the Lloyds TSB branches sell off going to the Co-Op was a sweet deal to bung them something for the money lent to Labour, a deal which was otherwise inexplicable given the other bidders looking to take on those branches might care to reconsider. I never suspected a fix for a moment.


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