May 5th, 2013

Read Guido’s Column in The Sun Today

Pick up your 60p Sun this morning for all the latest on rape arrest Tory MP Nigel Evans. In Guido’s column:

  • why Tom Watson will be furious about Thursday
  • why even Nigel Farage was not all smiles
  • Rennard’s helping hands on the campaign trail
  • Osborne is blocking Nadine Dorries’ return
  • Jo Johnson’s awkward first SpAd meeting
  • why Craig “Partridge” Oliver’s colleagues say he’s no Coulson
  • Boris and the gangsters
  • Labour MP’s unfortunate Stuart Hall photo
  • Tory candidate’s embarrassing front page past
  • Karaoke banned in parliament
  • why the ‘Faragasm’ wasn’t the only explosion in Westminster this week

And how Adam Afriyie tried to gag the press after remortgaging his £4 million mansion. Politics for the people…


  1. 1
    William Hague. says:

    I am determined to get to the bottom of Nigel Evans.

  2. 2
    Owen Jones says:

    I’ll be reading all the comments here and calling the police and/or whipping up a twitter mob if any include thought crimes.

  3. 3
    MPs protect their own says:

    I note all the Westminster MPs and their buddies in the press are saying that Nigel Evans is a jolly good fellow. So he must be innocent, and by implication his accusers are liars.

    Stewart Hall was a jolly good fellow too, until last week.

  4. 4
    Ed Balls super fan says:

    Ed Balls

  5. 5
    Owen Jokes says:

    Are you thinking what I’m thinking ?

  6. 6
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPER says:

  7. 7
    Whip Nad says:

  8. 8

    What is wrong with saying John Maynard Keynes was less interested in the future because he was homosexual and had no children?

    It is like saying people from a no-hope benefits background are more than likely to become Labour voters.

    Please concentrate on the fifth word in the first paragraph BTW, if tempted to respond.

  9. 9
    Ed Balls super fan says:

    His talents knows no bounds !

    Ed Balls our leader

  10. 10
    Come on Eton boys...enough's some compassion. says:

  11. 11

    Come on Nads.

    Make history by becoming the first UKIP MP.

  12. 12
    V1le, vicious Labour ruined my Country says:

    The whole political class think they’re good fellows but we all know they are scum out for themselves and their mates in Europe.

  13. 13
    Fifty Shades of Blue says:

    She must be aching, deliciously, to feel, once again, the barbed caress of the Party Whip against her sensitive nature…

  14. 14
    Chris Bryant says:

    She can have my whip.

  15. 15
    Osborne carries a grudge says:

  16. 16

    The sheer logistics involved in one man raping another, enticement to a place, removal of clothing… I shall not continue with the detail as you probably get the point by now…

  17. 17
    Ed Balls super fan says:

    I hope she speaks to Ed Balls, he will help her, guide her, show her the way forward.

    Ed Balls is a beacon of hope.

  18. 18
    jimbooo says:

    In Owen’s mind though people should only be allowed to agree with him and Laurie Penny, anything else is by definition sexist, racist, homophobic etc etc and therefore, since he’s a jumped up little prick (the type who would in a socialist dictatorship be very happy to assist in the torture chamber “interviewing” evil capitalists) reason enough to call the police.

  19. 19
    May is my favourite month says:

    It’s o.k. to say anything unless it isn’t.

  20. 20
    Fifty Shades of Blue says:

    Though you contend in Post 8, freedom of expression, I’m not homophobic me guv, political correctness gone mad etc, etc…


  21. 21
    Lord Mandelslime says:

    Any whips were always good in my book. Some stocks too.

    All installed in my latest mansion, all thanks to the glorious EU. Keep working and paying your taxes, peasants.

  22. 22
    Denial is no good says:

    It happens.

  23. 23
    SpinnersInc. says:

    UKIP had an MP before genius, however briefly – Bob Spink

  24. 24
    Whitestones says:

    Sorry Guido, but no matter how many times you provide puff for that awful paper, I still won’t buy it. You should be embarrassed to be seen in the company of so many tits!

  25. 25
    M102 says:

    Chloroform, SC?

  26. 26
    Fifty Shades of Blue says:

    There are no tits in the Sunday edition. Well, except….

  27. 27
    Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

    Nobody up here buys it.

  28. 28

    Not at all.

    You have spectacularly failed to notice that one is a question and the other is a partial statement.

    Both stand for themselves, unlike you.

  29. 29
    They aint normal says:

    The whole political class appear to made up of seedy petty criminals, perverts and people with assorted personality disorders.

    It aint a cross section of Joe Public, that’s for sure.

    Are these freaks being allowed to progress in politics because of their blackmail-ability? Are are they just naturally attracted to it like flies to a dung heap?

  30. 30
    New Kips on the block says:

    How long will it be before UKIP start beating the Tories in the polls?

  31. 31
    Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

    He looks as though he is only a little squirt standing next to Our Dave.

    Now if he was the same size as Eric?

  32. 32
    Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

    They will be gone like a puff of wind come 2015.

  33. 33
    New Kips on the block says:

    Up there they don’t buy anything. They just pinch it.

  34. 34
    Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

    Never been to Liverpool Pete? We don’t work and don’t pay tax.

  35. 35

    Possibly. We don’t know that yet.

    Perhaps he had a secret gay platoon of the Black Watch to assist him? One can create all sorts of hypothetical situations to suit but they do not really assist.

    I was able, at the age of fourteen, to escape the clutches of a homosexual pervert. It was not pleasant but, whilst the memory is quite vivid, it has not held me back in life. I certainly would not seek to go to the police about it after all these decades.

  36. 36
    What's 25% x 30% with a coefficient of 1.089? says:

    No, not quite.

    But if you do the math, a highly motivated 25% in a turnout of approx. 30%, largely in the Shires…

    But still enough to screw Cameron and co.

  37. 37
    Living in 97.1% white Merseyside says:

    Forget it Billy. If these allegations are true he’s definitely not a bottom.

  38. 38
    New Kips on the block says:

    I seem to have heard that before.
    Are you expecting a miraculous recovery in our economy?
    Are you expecting Labour will finally locate the elusive magic money trees?
    Are you expecting anyone to start trusting Liblabcon again?
    Are you expecting that the Europeans will somehow deal with the immense damage they have done throughout Europe?

    In short what do you base your unlikely scenario on?

  39. 39
    New Kips on the block says:

    Liblabcon – thieves, liars, thugs and bum-bandits.

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    Whatever happened to masturbation as a national past-time?

  41. 41
    Deluded Liblabconers never learn says:

    Yes, just like the SNP will never get anywhere in Liblabcon dominated Scottish politics.

  42. 42
    A well-placed match says:

    Just say the word, Captain, and I will make it so.

  43. 43
    Don't smear the speaker's office says:

    I too, Mr Cat, have been grabbed by the nads and propositioned whilst walking through the park late at night. Never sobered up quite so fast in a ll my life!

    But, if we could transfer the analysis over the heterosexual intercourse. The vast majority is consensual but a not-insignificant minority is not. This non-consensual intercourse can take many forms – though I would actually agree with you if a terminology is developed to differentiate between these different orders of crimes.

  44. 44
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  45. 45
    Dave says:

    Cracks are showing within the Conservative party. Yummy

  46. 46
    UKip will NEVER form a government says:

    They will peak in 2014 European Elections…it’s NOT about them getting any MPs at Westminster or whether they will ever form a government it’s about pushing Cameron to hold a referendum before 2015 and in the meantime to create as much havoc, uncertainty and fear in the Tory party and their sitting MPs to pressurize him into facing down the LibDems and tabling BINDING legislation to hold such in 2014

  47. 47
    Deluded Liblabconers never learn says:

    Several hundred thousand Bulgarians and Roma on the loose will have the effect of concentrating voters minds wonderfully.

    Not forgetting of course the on going groomings, bombing attempts, the odd inner city riot. All brought to you by those lovely Liblabcon people and their imports.

  48. 48
    Not another Guradian typo ?? says:

    I blame the (W)ankers for the present mess !!!!

  49. 49
    My friend until last week says:

    So basically Nigel Evans in his statement has blown the anonymity of his alleged victims. Wonder what the conditions of his bail were?

  50. 50
    Fifty Shades Of Blue says:

    Well to criticise Niall Ferguson’s comments,

    a) It is a logical fallacy that having no children would influence a persons attitude to the future. The comment was not evidence based, nor was supported by any further underpinning.

    b) As John Maynard Keynes was married I would think he can best be regarded as bi-sexual and so the statement is not applicable in the first place. I have seen it stated that also his wife became pregnant but then miscarried.

    I agree and disagree with Niall Ferguson in equal measure (as should be the role of a contrarian historian! Though I am now becoming much more in the Henry Ford / Nassim Taleb school of thought). But one would expect much more of a Harvard professor. Or maybe not…

  51. 51
    HMP says:

    We’re only making plans for Nigel

  52. 52
    Botty boys says:

    All the homophobic righties here are hilarious. Classic doth protest too much. We all know about those who go on and on about how disgusting gays are, only to be later exposed as gay themselves. Most of them had botty sex at boarding school and have secret boyfriends they go and see when they tell their wives they’re off to the gentlemen’s club.

  53. 53
    A well-placed match says:

    It would help if Cameron had the sense to stand his bum-chums down and stop splitting the UKIP vote.

  54. 54
    Mandy Rice-Davis says:

    Nigel Evans claims the allegations are false.

    Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he?

  55. 55
    Vote conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:

    Maybe Nigel has been keeping Nadines whip for his own self flagilation.

  56. 56
    liblabcon pest control says:

    The next “government” will be labour and the conservative party will be glad for that to be the case. Labour will develop enough realism in it’s policies to keep the EU projeckt on track and to manage the ongoing dispossession of English people (reducing immigration to an extent since the task of engineering a new electorate can be left to the immigran-ts already here now).

  57. 57
    Vote conservative for uncontrolled immigration says:


  58. 58
    A woman scorned Dave...Are You Mad? says:

  59. 59
    Tony Blair says:

    I’m a pretty straight kinda guy.

  60. 60
    ... says:

    SSpe ak f o R yourrsl ef!!*&^

  61. 61
    Stiff Richard says:

    Indeed he is x

  62. 62
    The Smiler says:

    Who does the gal on the left remind you of?

  63. 63
    Wystan says:

    He kissed me awake, and no one was sorry

  64. 64
    George Osborne (One economics module completed - Just scraped a pass) says:

    I am determined, through my complete lack of knowledge of economic affairs, to continue raping the wallets of the hard working members of our society who are the only people keeping this country from going bankrupt due to the consequences of my inept fiscal mismanagement.

    And I shall step up the vigour of my rape of their incomes by selling off the bank the taxpayers own, just as it has started making a profit for them. Being a class warrior I will of course give the shares of the banks the taxpayers bailed out to my rich banker friends for pennies and we will all laugh at the peasants who support our unearned incomes as we drink the very, very expensive champagne they paid for.

  65. 65
    Malta Ego says:

    I don’t mean to sound facetious but frankly I can’t treat any of these stories with any seriousness anymore. The world has gone mad, right about the time the story about the North Wales care home was ‘dealt with’.


    Finally, though I have not a prejudiced bone in my body (well not a big one, a tibia, but maybe a stapes) I have previously worked in an environment where a ‘gay mafia’ operated collectively. This is just as wrong as if it were the Masons, or even a ‘linkendin’ crowd as it tends to be now.

  66. 66
    Wyle Cop says:

    You’d think Nige would have learned from the Kilroy-Silk episode. Dorries is bad news. Leave her be.

    Anyway, UKIP have already got one whingeing Scouser as Dep. Leader; they don’t need another one trying to hog the limelight.

  67. 67
    Mehdi is fully behind Nigel says:

  68. 68
    Fuqqqq em says:

    Why the fuck hasn’t she left the party?

  69. 69
    Do you remember an Inn? says:

    And the cheers and the jeers of the young muleteers
    Who hadn’t got a penny,
    And who weren’t paying any,

  70. 70
    Wyle Cop says:

    For the same reason none of ‘em have the balls to leave the Big Two: ‘cos they’re safe’n’comfy where they are.

  71. 71
    Wyle Cop says:

    ‘Sell by’ dates on food have been replaced by ‘Steal by’ dates.

  72. 72
    i doth protest says:

    Most of the laughing at gays that goes on is because us heterosexuals find the thought of two men having sex as hilariously funny and as a great cosmic joke. Nobody is trying to oppress you, bottyboy.

  73. 73

    An assault is just that. The issue of heterosexual/homosexual, black/white and so on is neither here nor there IMHO. We should not condone it at all. The issue of male/female or age may become aggravating circumstances.

  74. 74

    Now you are talking my language.

    Out of mischief, I will ask how the knowledge in your a) is known to you. Your comment may not be evidence based if you merely relied upon reports! If I am correct, it was a throwaway remark made on air. As with many such remarks, things are said without all the evidence being produced. No one would listen to radio or TV if that happened.

    Ferguson may have some evidence to support the childless aspect of his statement. It is certainly my anecdotal but widespread experience that childless people within a relationship of some sort, whether the condition is intentional or not, do have a vastly different experience about life. That gap is difficult to span in terms of understanding. So I would question the relevance of logical fallacy here.

    I could also start talking about the limits of empiricism but do not wish to tax my host’s goodwill. No doubt you will have read Popper et al.

    From my memory, you are quite correct on b) but I am sure you will agree the statement could easily be recast in the manner I have set out above.

    Those who expecteth nothing shall not be disappointed!

  75. 75

    He did but he didn’t but he did but he didn’t but…

  76. 76
    Wyle Cop says:

    £65k a year, a fully-funded second home, generous exes and a pension have a lot to answer for.

    Make it a part-time job for exes only and they’d soon fuck off – and we’d be better off.

  77. 77
    Merseysider says:

    We are igorant, tribal, vulgar and workshy. But, by God, we know how to hate

  78. 78
    Vince says:

    When does the voting start? I may have dozed off for a while.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    I’m Right Behind Nigel Evans.

  80. 80
    Fiddlers while the treaty of Rome burns says:

    Like this bugger?

    ….or this bugger?

    During the previous European parliamentary term, a full quarter – 25% – of UKIP MEPs were either convicted of fraud, expelled for the same reason, or resigned in disgrace.

  81. 81
    Protect the apostrophe. says:

    It’s not “it’s policies”, it’s “its policies”.

    it’s, a contraction of it is or it has
    its, the possessive form of the pronoun it

  82. 82
    Moby Dick says:


  83. 83
    liblabcon pest control says:

    I placed that in there on purpose of course. Well spotted.

  84. 84
    Left on the pavement says:

    I think this needs Poop-Scooper.

  85. 85
    Protect the apostrophe. says:


  86. 86
    Let Darts and Pool be Olympic sports says:

    The Sun doesn’t make me smile in the morning – do they still do tits on page three?

  87. 87
    Just wondered says:

    Was it the Portsmouth City Council?

  88. 88
    Saloon Bar Whinger says:

    The whole point now is that the Euro Election will in fact be ‘The Referendum’. UKIP can be expected to sweep the board – and the message to David Cameron, to Herman van Rumpoy and all is that we in Britain have had enough, that Britain wants out and that the entire European edifice must now crumble. Roll on the Free Trade Area we all thought we were going to get.

  89. 89
    2 guys in a golf cart says:

    Is David Cameron the wanker or the wankee?

  90. 90
    Freddy the Fly says:

    As night follows day, Nigel Evans will fall and retire in disgrace. He is the perfect example of a modern sodamist, arrogant, wealthy, an accomplished liar who does not know right from wrong.

  91. 91
    Guido sold out in the end says:

    I wouldn’t wipe my arse with The Sun. Justice for the 96 and eternal shame on Guido for writing crap for them. He’s just as bad.

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