May 2nd, 2013

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. All your Hodge the Dodge latest, and more…

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


334 Comments

  1. 1
    Selohesra says:

    Heaven forbid you are in front of Margeret Hodge – she’ll knock you down

    Like

  2. 2
    The Public says:

    Where do we gather for the angry march on Downing Street?

    Like

  3. 3
    Ron Barras says:

    I’m not a subscriber. What is inside? Is it new info or just a round-up email of the content on here?

    Like

    • 77
      Fooker prize says:

      It’s the same crap you just don’t have to be online to waste your time reading it

      Like

      • 82
        The savant 10.4 highway patrol says:

        all right if you re on free wifi though down the job centre or similar civic building .

        Like

  4. 5
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Cliff has revoked his UK residency and has somehow managed to bag himself a new passport. Cliff no longer pays any tax to HMRC. Jumped ship?

    Like

  5. 9
    Gordon says:

    Now will you leave me alone?

    SCIENTISTS in Canada have found that picking your NOSE and eating it could be good for your health.

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/health/health/4912253/nose-picking-and-other-bad-habits-could-be-good-for-you.html

    Like

  6. 10
    George"Call me Moishe" Galloway says:

    You know you are in trouble when … intelligent people tell you Iran, North Korea, Venezuela are right in standing up to the USA.

    Like

  7. 11
    Bazinga! says:

    BBC news playing down his decades of employment with the BBC. Funny that.

    Like

  8. 16
    Gordon Brown says:

    I want plastic ear covers.

    Like

    • 278
      Spock says:

      Why don’t you go and mind-meld with a haggis.

      
      

      Oh ! Just realised – you already have.

      Like

  9. 18
    Universal Hiss says:

    Don’t you think giving totally mad people free reign on your site despite protests, to spam with you tube videos & self serving soft porn dents your credibility somewhat?

    Like

  10. 19
    Owen Jones says:

    Come to this please! http://www.eventbrite.co.uk/event/62719686

    Like

  11. 23
    Bazinga! says:

    How typical that the BBC decided to bury the story about the massive sexism and bullying problems at the BBC.

    No external criticism allowed, just some beeboid mong allowed to spout the BBC spin line.

    Note how the BBC don’t like to apply the same standards to themselves as they demand of others.

    Who wants to bet Stuart Hall and the BBC’s sexism/bullying doesn’t come up on Questiontime tonight?

    It will no doubt be about Tory toffs, Tories beating up on dole scroungers blah blah blah.

    Fuck off BBC you pile of human piss.

    Like

    • 31
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      36 cases of sexual harassment in 7 years is acceptable to the BBC.
      Bullying adnitted but no names – why?
      The BBC funded by the license fee payer but run like secret police state.
      Why is nothing done about the BBC?

      Like

      • 49
        Bazinga! says:

        Not just that, but te BBC admitted that the big stars were allowed to bully juniors and get away with it.

        Remember how the BBC piss jumped on the bandwagon over Andy Gray and Richard Keys. Sky fired them, the BBC does not fire it’s so called talent for the same thing.

        Once again BBC piss getting away with it.

        Like

      • 51
        any old crap says:

        The bBBC is part of the EUSSR and is used to push it’s propaganda, after all why would a taxpayer funded business want soft loans from the EUSSR when all that is needed is to have a chat with it’s political employees and get them to jack up the tv tax.

        Like

      • 52
        Bazinga! says:

        Remember how the BBC jumped on the bandwagon when Sky had problems with Richard Keys and Andy Gray and ended up firing them?

        Not the same for the BBC, that allows it’s so called ‘talent’ to harass and bully staff and nothing is said.

        Fucking BBC scum. I drop better down the toilet pan than work at the BBC.

        Like

  12. 25
    Another week wasted arsing around with the Labour voting dogshit on my shoe. Getting outta here says:

    Days fly by.

    Like

  13. 28
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Interest free mortgage payments – isn’t that something else that proliferated under labour?

    Like

    • 32
      Gordon the Medicated says:

      It was a bigger boy.
      A bigger boy made me do it.

      Like

    • 41
      Maqboul says:

      What the fuck is an “interest free mortgage”?

      Endowment mortgages I remember where you paid back only the interest monthly and also paid into a sinking fund to repay the capital at the end of the term. The risk being that the fund under performed and it would not be able to produce the capital required.

      Years ago, some barrow bot tried to sell me one on the basis there would probably be a surplus in the fund and I’d be quids in. He was bulshitting.

      Like

    • 50

      Interest free mortgages do occur in !slamic banks.

      Of course, they are not interest free as those banks would go bust otherwise. So it is dressed up, rather like a pig could be actually.

      Like

      • 61
        Two shags lard arse says:

        A pig in a poke then?

        Like

      • 64
        Your Friendly Neighbourhood Culturally-Mandated Euphemisms Service says:

        Of course, the Muzzies do what all spivs do– collect “la mordida” (the nibble) for facilitating the transaction, only they do it on an installment basis. Perish the thought that it could be “usury.” In their lights, it is buying the product for you as your agent and leaving you in possession of it so long as you keep up the payments to them for having done so, i.e., a secured transaction. Now you, and we, and anyone with half a brain knows it’s the functional equivalent of interest, if there’s a “vig” (any kind of a service charge qualifies by this definition) being charged on repayments of money lent out. But because they refuse to call it what it is, it is a “pig with lipstick,” as we think you meant to say, the pig being an animal they eschew rather than chew, as is “interest.” Now, an unsecured transaction, just handing someone money with the expectation that you will be paid back over time in a greater amount than was initially borrowed, simply on the borrower’s word, is another story. There the practice of “hibah,” “the gratuity,” is used, as in, “Of course, you DO know the customary ‘gratuity’ for this sort of loan, don’t you, Omar?”, as it is expected that any good Muzzie will “reward the generosity” of another.

        Like

  14. 29
    Bill Cash says:

    There are reasons people have turned against the Conservative led coalition. Mainly they are full of shit.

    Like

    • 33
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      Unlike you who is shit.

      Like

    • 34
      Robert Maxwell deceased says:

      You will be telling me next that people in the UK are so stupid did not realise until today that they would be a few grand short come mortgage redemption day.

      I have had about 76 letters from L&G telling me they were going to mess up over the last ten years.

      Like

  15. 30
    Dai Laws says:

    Sounds to me as if that Hodge woman has committed a criminal act .

    Let us just sweep it under the carpet shall we.

    Like

    • 35
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      Leveson, leveson, leveson, hacked off, hacked off, hacked off.

      Like

  16. 37
    Anonymous says:

    Guidogram? Guidotwat I like to call them, in a polite way mind – makes a change from the rest of the crap I get sent it is.

    Jeezuz, do some people send me right shit – one I had the other day, asking me to join the KKK of all people, so I sent this vid I back him back – no reply so far from the twat arse breath plonker since,

    Like

    • 40
      Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

      What the hell happened to my users name again – fucking Norton again scanning my arseing computer again it is! Pizzy Werld it is we live in!

      Like

      • 42
        Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

        yes, it was fucking seven o’clock that I set for it to scan it, the fucking online fascist police they are, in the US!

        Like

    • 69
      The Waco Kid says:

      “My name is Jim– but most people call me…’Jim’.”

      Like

  17. 54
    Bazinga! says:

    Speaking of more BBC bollocks, I noticed that the BBC were wanking themselves stupid this morning over interest only mortgages.

    Now remind me again who set up the FSA that like all the other banks fuck ups they failed to act on?

    I noticed that not once did the one eyed twat from Fife get a mention.

    Like

  18. 55
    Time for the Labour voting Brown crap to clean up their own mess. They do more harm than good. says:

    Socialist leeching morons. Idiot nutjobs. The whole lot of them! These meddling Hunts need to start minding their own business. Do us all a favour and clear out! They do more harm than good. Go and live Russia you useless spineless fuck ups & leave us all in peace!

    Like

  19. 56
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    Is there any indication how UKIP is doing in the votings ?

    Like

    • 57
      Cottage Gardener says:

      Well, the old dear was only saying the other day what a good year it is for purple and yellow primroses, pansies and violas.

      Like

  20. 58
    Open door policy says:

    It was a tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny collision withe the irresponsible bike rider

    Like

  21. 62
    The Treacherous Tin Pot Tosser in No 10 says:

    I say you jolly chaps!!!! Indications are of a tremendous swing!!!! I just knew my Progressive Policies would carry the day!!! I give you my word, – and you know me well enough by now!!!

    I’m holding an impromptu reception in my rooms for those who wish to celebrat with me!!!

    What??

    Like

  22. 65

    The BBC will play just five seconds of Ding Dong The Witch is Dead, which is still climbing the pop charts after the death of Margaret Thatcher on 8 April.

    “The BBC finds this campaign distasteful but does not believe the record should be banned,” said a spokesperson.

    Yet they banned Cliff Richard who, contrary to what my troll has said above, has not left the country. Tells you all you need to know about the BBC and its biased staff from top to bottom.

    Like

  23. 68
    dapperdanielle says:

    “Top banker admits he didn’t know how Libor works and says that, despite earning hundreds of millions, he’s not in it for the money…

    Seems he has only a fingertip hold on reality as well”

    A comedian as well, Mr Diamond

    Like

  24. 70
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    well I am watching a film and the Mickey Rourke character says “if you are going to lead people you have to have somewhere to go ”
    I think to myself well that is really a true thing, rather than more of the same old thing what we need is a new place to go, somewhere different to the pile of shit that has been created by the cretins ( see what I did ) over the last 20 or so years.

    Like

  25. 72
    Smurfy says:

    Hey ho!

    Like

  26. 73
    George Galloway says:

    Thirty of 31 terrorists on FBI’s most wanted list are Muslim http://is.gd/MpDfvQ

    Like

    • 274
      Lefty flake says:

      Impossible!

      President Obumma himself, said it was a religion of peace and all violence was a reaction against repressive western culture, which did not respect it enough.

      Like

      • 331
        Post 25% Sense, 75% Bollocks says:

        Who’s the 31st? Not that fella that is retired living in Texas as we speak? George something is his name or something. I believe, or just Braincell George as he is known to his friends and aquaintances.

        Like

  27. 74
    Smurfy says:

    All the socialist morons & leeches in the media today. Get thee behind me. :)

    Like

  28. 75
    Sick and tired of the EU says:

    Always vote Tory but just this once voted UKIP

    Get on with it Dave tell those twats in Brussels where to go

    Like

    • 79
      Universal Hiss says:

      Thank-you. I don’t get a vote in these elections but you did the right thing.

      A benefit for the whole of the U.K.

      Like

    • 95
      nellnewman says:

      I am hoping UKIP do really well in this local election – if they do it will be a game changer!

      Like

      • 98
        G'day cobber says:

        Pisses me orf that local councils take their orders from central who get their instructions from eussr, we need some serious protest to send messages to those brussels clowns- the UK has been crapped upon for too long now

        Like

        • 125
          nellnewman says:

          In the 1990’s when bliar and brown came to power labour laid on coaches to take newly elected labour councillors to westminster where they were brainwashed into how to dominate local government officers and manipulate local government politics!!

          Labour believed in bliar’s day that they would be in No 10 forever!!

          Like

      • 116
        Game changer says:

        They’ll be broke.

        Like

  29. 76
    • 87
      Not cynical timing at all says:

      Float EU referendum waffle to hit the news stands on the day of the local elections. FFS.

      Like

    • 277
      Cameron is a complete stooge and tosser says:

      Cameron has made a referendum under his leadership, a complete waste of time and money.

      When interviewed by El Pais, he said, if the British people voted to leave the EU, he would NOT carry out the will of the electorate and would not move to leave.

      So if the vote is to stay in the EU, he will respect that and feel bound by the will of the people. If the voted to leave, he would ignore the vote.

      Like

  30. 81
    More Balls says:

    Balls play pt 2 on BBC2 BBCHD now

    Like

    • 84
      More Balls says:

      whoops…He’s buggering mrs Balls

      Like

      • 101
        Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

        I rogered the UK economy so why wouldn’t I do the same to the pocket battleaxe?

        Like

    • 94
      nellnewman says:

      What bullyballs is clearly not doing is making labour’s case for the economy. Nobody believes a word he says!!

      Like

      • 99
        Chuka can says:

        Chuka is after Balls’ job

        Like

        • 109
          nellnewman says:

          ERR NO! chuckusyamoney is after militwit’s job in the hope that as opposition leader he will eventually end up in no10. God Forbid!!!!!!!!!

          Like

      • 100
        Chuka plotting his move says:

        Like

        • 104
          nellnewman says:

          You can just hear the dialogue – “this labour opposition is dead in the water – what are we going to do after 2015 to try and get us back into No10 so that we can keep troughing off the public teat2?!!

          Like

        • 115
          Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

          No trash or C-list wannabes there>

          Like

  31. 88
    nellnewman says:

    stu art ha ll and the labour party are very alike.

    mr hall vigorously denied he was guil ty of sex ual misde meanour and then pled guilty when presented with the proof.

    milishambles vigorously denied, last weekend, that he would borrow and spend if he got into no 10 and then , when presented with proof of his intentions, finally, grudgingly, today, admitted he and labour are guilty of plotting a return to failed gordon economics.

    Like

    • 89
      Tikomoko says:

      Nah Hall is like Huhne. Fess up when there is no hope of getting away with it in order to get a reduced sentence. This law about admitting guilt and receiving a lower custodial needs to be revisited, last minute admission is hardly repentance.

      Mili is just a little boy.

      Like

      • 92
        nellnewman says:

        Well true but militwit did the same thing . He vigorously denied he would borrow and spend until presented with the evidence of his intentions and then grudgingly admitted his guilt!

        Like

  32. 93
    nellnewman says:

    charliebrooker says militwit has been trying to make himself seem more palatable to voters by standing on a pallet, although when he showed up with his pallet in Crawley the people of Crawley seemed unimpressed.”

    LOL!!

    Like

    • 224
      Someone Had To Do This Joke says:

      He needs more colours on his palette, though. Having only Red won’t cut it.

      Like

  33. 102
    Saffron says:

    I see that Hall has pleaded guilty,so that means to me that he is guilty,what sentence he might get remains to be seen.
    So far we have seen various so called celebs being accused and in some cases being charged.
    I for one am interested in that what is the situation regarding the elms guesthouse and its clientel and also the Jersey issue.
    The Dunblane issue is also in need of investigation as it stinks of a cover up in high places.
    Will these politicos come up with the right answers well absolutely not.
    The politicos right now are INMHO are the dregs of what we used to call fair play in this land.
    Finally may I say that I hope that UKIP give these traitors to this land the lesson that they need to learn.

    Like

    • 103
      Saffron says:

      You Gudwee
      Can feck off with your mod crap,take it or leave it.

      Like

    • 105
      nellnewman says:

      Dunblane, Jersey and the Elms Guest House have common denominators.

      MargaretHodge knows all about it as she did much to bury it in much the same way she tried to bury the info relating to her family wealth.

      Like

    • 114
      Mood of the nation says:

      Can a d notice be rescinded?

      Like

    • 170
      Enemy Combatant says:

      Savile was a weirdo. Was anyone really surprised?

      Stuart Hall, though, did surprise me.

      Is there anyone who was on TV in the 70s who isn’t guilty?

      Like

  34. 106
    nellnewman says:

    Du nbla ne, Jer sey and the El ms Gue st Ho use have common denominators.

    Marg aretHo dge knows all about it as she did much to bury it in much the same way she tried to bury the info relating to her family wealth.

    Reply

    Like

    • 209
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Remind me why she was given the childrens minister job – oh it’s because she’s useless, a liar, a tax cheat, knew where the bodies were buried out of Islington … oh but she’s been “protecting” her “FRIENDS” (fiends more like) if you know what I mean innit?

      Like

    • 211
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Many truths lie in the book Du nbl ane un bu ried.

      Like

  35. 107
    Herr Mann says:

    Like

    • 110
      There you go. Communist Hosay is trying to create a Federal EUSSR. They don't even pretend anymore says:

      Like

    • 111
      nellnewman says:

      Really? That’ll be about making government non-jobs then a la gordon brown style?!!

      Nothing useful in other words!!

      Like

    • 249
      Gissme Gye-Rhro says:

      A bit late Rumpy. Your organisation’s policies over the past 30+ years have directly led to about half the folk in Euroland being jobless – with nothing in sight to ease their worries. Their only hope is for their [fifth column] governments to get them out of the EU asap so they can start to rebuild their lives together using their own currencies once again.

      Like

  36. 108

    Sophy Ridge is talking of stiff challenges…

    Like

  37. 112
    the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    I realize it will take a hundred years to undo the idiocy that Thatcher made of the society but still it is important to try to influence the society towards a direction that is a positive thing rather than a negative.
    we have this special “fuckedupness” unique in europe it is something to do with our ancestors alive and dead who had/have the opinion of their special position, having seen off the Germans. Well fuckwits that has all gone now.
    I do weep at the loss of opportunity, the class division in thought, the retentive atmosphere of the civil service. Someone should make a “Great Leap Forward”
    who is going to do that thing ?

    Like

    • 119
      Leftie knobhead spotter says:

      Oh do fuck off you left wing socialist twat

      Like

      • 145
        the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

        that’s funny, I’m guessing you are from a single parent family ?

        Like

    • 122
      Vote UKIP says:

      Take a hUndred years to find your microscopic single brain cell.

      Like

    • 127
      Zzzzz says:

      Doesn’t help your case when the second word of your diatribe is misspelled.

      Like

    • 132
      the mystic mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

      I think I am expecting that there exists people who are cleverer than me who understand how the society is and are in charge of all the doings of the business but I think I see that everybody is just muddling through and there is not anybody with a fucking PLAN.

      Like

  38. 118
    KC is an EU stooge says:

    Is it just me ….I cant get onto the UKIP website….jiggery-pokery maybe???

    Like

  39. 121
    Harridan Harmanhater says:

    I am always Dimblebum’s right hand person.

    Like

    • 124
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      I love Dimblebum’s denial that he is an ‘hereditary broadcaster’. To the Dimblebums the BBC is practically the ‘family firm’.

      Like

      • 128
        nellnewman says:

        BBC = family firm = Labour!!

        BBC = leftwingBiased = Labour!!

        Unbalanced, unprofessionnal, leftiwng = BBC

        Of no use frankly at looking at any serious issue!!! = BBC

        Lord knows why we are paying a universal license for this biased useless leftwing labour voice piece!! = BBC

        Like

        • 250
          B Boyde says:

          But but but…. our spaghetti tree spoof was good, wasn’t it? More Parmesan vicar?

          Like

    • 126
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Oh, and…

      Rock On David Starkey !!!

      Like

      • 131
        One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

        He’s destroying Coren and Harperson… with impunity.
        Is Harperson on a bonus for the number of times she can say “patronise” ?

        Like

        • 136
          Self Harm says:

          Coren and Harperson are doing a good job of destroying Coren and Harperson.

          Like

        • 137
          Old Tory Bigot says:

          Audience packed with ‘progressives’ as usual so Starkey getting a cold reception.

          Mile-a-minute-mouth Corren is a bore. Her Dad was very funny, she’s not.

          Like

  40. 123
    Brown out & pay me damages. Respect my legal rights. says:

    Socialist morons & leeches will be happy tnite. Leeching off the backs of others. Scum.

    Like

  41. 134
    One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

    Am I the only one that finds Coren’s elitist and nasal pontifications irritating in the extreme?

    Like

    • 142
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Nope, the queue begins way back yonder.

      Like

      • 151
        Blowing Bubbles says:

        Maybe it’s because she’s J*wish!

        i.e. up her own arse just like Dimblebore’s up his.

        Like

        • 160
          One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

          Well noted!
          Ah…and Giles is her brother… what’s his co-host called? Hmmmmmmmm

          Like

        • 207
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Next thing you know them trolls will be calling you anti-semetic! If they do be flattered …

          The truth hurts and why do so many of them get sooooo fucking smeary … and ‘full on’ – oh you can’t say anything about us lot ‘cos of that thingy wot happened decades ago OHHHHHHHHHH that lets us make y’all feel guilty?

          Like

  42. 140
    Dave -- I'm shitting myself about UKIP says:

    Sam — You don’t think I’m a spendthrift PC weakling as well do you?

    Like

  43. 141
    Harridan Harmanhater says:

    SEXIST !!!

    Like

    • 154
      Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

      This is why wimmin are crap joke writers.

      Like

      • 156
        Spot the Cunt says:

        Oh just fuck off toxic twatty

        Like

        • 172
          Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

          Got anything interesting to say spot the cee? Thought not – I have loads, you boring gobshite arsebreath tool ponce granny fanny bptherer – get right out of my face, or I will give you right old smack, twat.

          There, I told the dreg. Song for him/her.

          Blutige Englisch hirnlose Scheiße!

          Like

          • Spot the Cunt says:

            You’re a pathetic dribbling loon. You must be on crack.

            You have nothing remotely interesting to say. You just spend your days wanking, shooting up, claiming bennys and posting fucking crap YouTube clips.

            Just please have the decency to die for fuck’s sake.

            Like

          • Post 25% Sense, 75% Bollocks says:

            Die? Your wish is my command oh Tosser one, just give me a few more decades and I will get around to it. twat.

            Like

      • 162
        Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

        Joke for the ladies in our life, here goes.

        Three girls on a hen party to Blackpool, been there two days, and no action. “Is there something wrong with us?” says one, “No”, says another, “It is just we have not met the right ones”. And the third one says “Sod this, let’s buy a thick stick of pink Blackpool Rock and get it over and done with”.

        Boom-Boom. Song for said ladies,

        suck my stump, it’s a peppermint lump, you know.

        Like

        • 168
          Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

          Another song for the ladies, nuns or not,

          give me a shout if you fancy dropping your habit girls ;)

          Like

          • Spot the Cunt says:

            So you have finally risen from your filthy, tick-infested wank pit then Taff?

            Good lunch time session was it?

            Maybe you can pop out and score a bit of crack later.

            Like

          • Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

            Only shop at C & A, but I do drag on a Bob Hope now and then for a change.

            And yes pal, I am absolutely slaughter on cider as we speak, as I do – us country folk are fecking wazzled most days, since apart from milking cows and goats and feeding the sheep, there is not much else to do, apart from getting totally plastered, song on my day today – zummer is coming!

            Like

          • Spot the Cunt says:

            Well that’s certainly an insight.

            You live on benefits I take it?

            Like

          • Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

            Sold all my properties that I buily up, shoved all the profits into an, AHEM!, overseas account in a companies name, and now get paid by he state to look after my 77 year old dad who is recovering from cancer – colostomy bag you know. But I help out my uncle and friend on their farms, for nothing – they tell me whenever my dad buys his farm and goes west, to get my own farm. Will be able to afford it, easily – worked on relations farms all my life, when they call me to help. Cows/ They can’t get enough of me, sheep too, for some reason. Great great great etc. uncle was a drover, taking animals ducks and geese through England to Smithfield in the early 1800s, but that is another story. many of my family were like these two,

            Ac ie, fi yn siarad cymraag hefyd, i popyn sydd yn gofyn fi – iath iawn yw fi, fi’n credo.

            Like

  44. 146
    Casual Observer says:

    Hey Nige — one suggestion for the UKIP policies review — TO CUT THE BBC LICENCE FEE BY 20% PER YEAR EACH YEAR IN PERPETUITY

    Like

  45. 148
    One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

    “Countries don’t have friends, they only have interests”

    “No nation that benefits from growth does so without exploiting the labour of others”

    Listen to Mr Starkey.

    As an eminent Historian you got to take note, pinkoes.

    Like

  46. 149
    Fishy says:

    Upper class socialist Harman sticks her nose in the air when Starkey speaks, and has a look on her face as if she has shit on her shoe.

    I hate socialists.

    Like

  47. 152
    Brillo says:

    Nigel Farage on Brillo’s This Week after Question Time.

    Like

  48. 158
    Fishy says:

    Harman shakes her head when Stafford gets mentioned.

    Her natural reflex is to airbrush any disaster that Labour was involved in

    Like

    • 166
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Greening should have made a lot more capital of Mid Staffs during the “NHS safe in their hands” planted question.

      Mid Staffs was all on Labours watch.

      Like

  49. 164
    Kill the Dynasty says:

    QT needs a new chairman or even a rotating chairman.

    Like

    • 169
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      I think DD would rotate quite nicely on a pig roasting spit.

      Like

    • 174
      Blowing Bubbles says:

      The HoP needs a new Speaker or even a rotating Speaker…do you note any similarities between QT and the HoP in this respect?

      Like

  50. 165
    William Roach says:

    Fuck me, that Harman’s a sexy bitch!

    Like

  51. 167
    Mood of the nation says:

    Watching QtT in Northern Ireland, on half an hour later……seems that Starkey is being edited.

    Like

  52. 180
    GAFF OF THE WEEK says:

    Portillo.

    WHO GIVES A STUFF ABOUT THE EUROPEAN ELECTIONS!!

    Like

    • 181
      Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

      Like

      • 184
        One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

        Patrick Declan McManus (Costello) that Republican scum?

        Like

        • 194
          Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

          UNIONIST!

          Like

          • One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

            UNASHAMEDLY!

            Like

          • Post 25% Sense, 75% Bollocks says:

            Just waiting for the day my Wales/Cymru fecks off from these Westminster SE England tory twats, and hope the North of England etc. joins us. I shit torys, each morning, in my bog!

            excuse my French, by the way, my Unionist puppet. :)

            Like

        • 238
          Fat Bastard MP says:

          Elvis Costello! My favourite as a teen, back in the 80’s!
          I’ll bet you didn’t know he sends me his specs when he’s done with them!
          No– I just made that up! Occasionally, I can be funny when I want to be!
          (Oh wait, did that come out right?)

          Like

          • Post 25% Sense, 75% Bollocks says:

            Costello is a ledge, luvs the speccy fella – can’t get enough of him. He can have my babies, if I was a girly, that is.

            Like

    • 182
      One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

      Affirmative.
      Nigel looked to the heavens and made a mental note that said “Yesssssssssssss!”
      Portillo doesn’t function so well outside of a BBC studio methinks .. his worst performance for as long as we can remember.

      Like

      • 197
        Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

        The only thing Portillo knows is trains and shagging men’s arses, as ant typical tory. And people ask why there is not many tory wimmin MPs??? Louise Mensch was one, but she made her excuses quickly and fucked off when she found out what a load of ponces her tory party were!

        Like

        • 200
          One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

          Gammarist! :-)

          Like

          • Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

            A wotist??? Been called many ists in my life, but that is a first on me. :)

            Like

          • Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

            the skinney one, in the middle one. Why am I always attracted to the cranky ones – I must have a screw loose!

            Like

          • Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

            Cordoba, una ciudad interesante con las damas listos dulce si se lo pides bien, donde quiera que venga, me he encontrado. ;)

            Like

          • Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

            Like

  53. 183
    Cameron beaten by clowns says:

    UKIP come second in South shields

    UKIP 5998
    Tory 2857
    LibDem 352

    and the Donkey with the red rosette 12493

    Like

    • 187
      Cameron beaten by clowns says:

      LibDems 352 beaten by the B & P 711

      Like

    • 188
      G'day cobber says:

      S Shields thick voters vote in another thick MP.
      Except that shes now sucking at the westminister trough, cant be that thick then

      Like

      • 191
        OMG says:

        She’s thick alright.

        Spent 10 mins saying what a fucking mess South shields is then promptly thanked Mili for all that he had done for the area.

        Like

        • 196
          It is I LeClerc says:

          And ugly.

          Like

        • 215
          Ed Moribund says:

          Worst election speech ever! We coach and coach and she got all the words right but sounded like the bloody soundbite sheet. She tried to cram every single buzz word into each sentence the thick, fat munter.

          Not all of them! be selective for Gord’s sake!

          “We har gowna bee a wun nashion layber purrty thart is against the Tory-led coe-ar-lition coots of the predator sew-sci-eti. Oor barnker’s tax will purt food on thar teebles of the poowerest hurdwerkin’farmerlies in sew-sci-eti.”

          And she’s going to be shadow minister for business because I have to pretend I support what the stupid minger has to say…Labour activists. Who needs them, eh?

          Like

      • 193
        One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

        Don’t know who he/she is… but guess they are from a Labour dynasty family from another locality who swear loyalty to the Party to ignore the interests of the local Sheeple and always vote the way the Whip demands.

        How do I know?
        I live in North Ayrshire.

        Like

        • 203
          G'day cobber says:

          I’m off to serve the people of sudi shields-from Newcastle airport, or first class rail. Its got my name on it.

          Like

      • 232
        Burning Dimly says:

        Good Lord, when you listen to the kind of low-wattage Ecobulb voted in at South Shields you kind of hope that, if that’s the best the country can do, the UKIP project crashes and burns, and that we can be governed by foreigners for ever. I’ve seen 19-year old trainee Primary School teachers with greater intellectual clout, and believe me, they don’t pack much of a punch.

        Like

  54. 185
    Fishy says:

    Lib Dem humiliation in South Shields according to Sky – They come SEVENTH

    Like

  55. 189
    One Eyed Scots Idiot says:

    Good Morning, Vietnam…… Goodnight Deposit !! :-)

    Like

  56. 195
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Labour win.

    Two words:

    Postal. Vote.

    Like

  57. 198
    . says:

    Rather stroppy performance from Pooftillo there.

    Like

  58. 201
    Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

    199

    Like

  59. 202
    Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

    200

    Christ – Julia Roberts is a five penii gob, isn’t she?

    Like

    • 208
      Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

      Stand by your beds you sons of whores, let me see your bedblocks – stand TO

      Like

  60. 210
    He's right you know says:

    Like

    • 212
      Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

      loser

      Like

    • 214
      Anti Fabian says:

      And the winner of South Shields by-election is … Olive from ‘On the Buses’

      Like

      • 219
        Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

        Olive was a right oil painting, painted by Picasso. wasn’t she? Face like a bag of rusty nails she had. But still, I would have smashed it, I am not fussy….

        Like

        • 251
          B Boyde says:

          If a cnut like you had gone anywhere near Olive, Popeye or Bluto – and probably both – would have smacked your bottom good!

          Like

  61. 213
    .;:! says:

    Like

    • 218
      This woman for P.M? a new Maggie! says:

      Like

    • 223
      young Shep says:

      Fatty Pang will be conducting his own internal enquiry [sic]. BBC trust.

      Like

      • 225
        Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

        Fatty Pang??? Who the fuck is he when he is at home Shep?

        Like

        • 226
          young Shep says:

          The DG with the initials C.P, no job at Bletchley Park for you.

          Like

          • Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

            Sorry, know Bletchlet, but I am still lost, sorry – explain more. CCHQ, perchance? Say no more if so – your secret is quiet with me if so, don’t worry.

            Like

          • young Shep says:

            No secret, Chris Patten, director general of the BBC ‘Trust’ as they like to call it, formerly Governor and the last Commander-in-Chief of Hong Kong, and oversaw its handover to the P8ople’s Republic of China. Fatty Pang, I think was a mark of derision bestowed on him by the p8ople of those islands that were sold out to a communist state. OK?.

            Like

          • B Boyde says:

            Google is your friend.

            You seem so keen on looking interwebby things up, so do yourself a favour. For one who claims to have travelled the world, been there, seen it, done it, you are remarkably ill informed.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Anything that turns up on beeb internal politics, I switch off, Shep and Boyde. It’s a warped organisation that get’s my goat – can’t be bothered with it.

            Like

          • Post 25% Sense, 75% Bollocks says:

            Mrs T buggered up negotiations to renew the lease on HK, with her arrogant form of diplomacy, as always. Not well known fact, buried, as usual.

            Like

  62. 227
    Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

    I am a man of contradictions,
    indications and conceptions.
    Walking around with the talk,
    as if know future commotions.

    Ladies do look at me bemused,
    confused sometimes abused.
    Wondering what my face case,
    knickered worn I then excuse.

    Song for the ladies I bothered, in their undergarments, and let me tell you this for nothing, there has been a few, lost count, bed notches worn.

    try not to spew lads….

    Like

    • 229
      Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

      Hate posting a poem without proper justification typesetting so will repost,
      .
      .
      I am a man of contradictions,
      indications and conceptions.
      Walking around with the talk,
      as if know future commotions.

      Ladies do look at me bemused,
      confused sometimes abused.
      Wondering what my face case,
      knickered worn I then excuse.

      Now that is much better. Pleased with that.

      Like

      • 230
        Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

        Jeezuz, I need shooting I do – the amount of ladies I have had is a total disgrace, an absolute disgrace – I have shagged so many of all colours and races, I have totally honestly lost count – every country I have been I have shagged one, sometimes two, even together. Christ, please, someone put me down, I have given more pricks to ladies than an average pin cushion. Song for me, on my sexual avariced disgusting life,

        Like

        • 233
          Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

          Just tried counting them, got up to two hundred Helen the Singaporian Sri Lankan extract, black as the ace of spades, Marnie from Brisbane, five foot nine total blonde goddess that really fucked me to nothing, then there was that South London girl at 202, who worked in Sainsburies in Forest Hill, Caribbean extraction, 21 she was – oh Christ, shoot me someone, I seriously need putting down – then there was that polish 22 year old I met on that plane back fro NYC that I invited her to stay with me for a week, and then there was Beverley from Torquay, and then there was Jane from Hawick, and then there was Catherine from Gainborough of all places – jezzuz. I am shameless, like this fella, spoke to him a couple of times, and we compared bed notches – I am even ahead of this fucker! Shoot me someone.

          And that is saying something!

          Like

  63. 237
    Dolly the Sheep best friend says:

    Labour win South Shields, easily, UkIP second, tory cants third, and the Lib Dem pussies seventh!?! Yes seventh.

    Like

    • 239
      Old Nick says:

      pass the buck…

      Like

    • 246
      LibDems crash and Labour unable to make breakthrough in Midlands and South says:

      When the BEE-ENN-Pee is more popular than you that’s the time to call it day

      Like

  64. 240
    Jimmy says:

    Congratulations to my rightie friends. The Lemons appear successfully to have hoovered up the beeyenpee vote and at least one of the government parties has held its deposit.

    Like

    • 245
      southern comfort says:

      Read somewhere that 58% of the 38% turnout South Shields vote was obtained by postal ballots.
      Did not realise they could actually read and write up North but then putting a cross on a piece of paper is not really an academic achievement is it?
      Do hope Dave will suggest that postal voting requires a signature when it comes to a general election.

      Like

  65. 243
    The EU Is In The Conservative Party's DNA says:

    Like

  66. 247
    Emma thick as fuck , labour red rose donkey country says:

    She went on to tell Sky News that she was eager to “deliver on all my pledges – to increase jobs, investment and growth, and fight the Tories on bedroom tax”.

    Meanwhile it is expected she will not be seen for the next 3 months while the deranged frothing cow learns the difference between a fucking tax and a benefit paid for by other people’s hard work.

    Labour and socialism, good until they run out of other people’s money

    Like

    • 267
      The mind boggles says:

      Who votes for labour now after all the crap they have caused this country?

      Like

      • 271
        Bazinga! says:

        There are still thousands of council estates and Muslim piss holes that vote Liebore.

        Like

  67. 248
    a non says:

    Few results declared yet being reported that UKIP has already 42 confirmed seats.
    Possibility they will exceed 100.
    Congratulations Guido, having put your money where your mouth is.

    Like

  68. 252
    Grass Rooter says:

    Good Morning Prime Minister.

    Here is a bottle of whisky and your revolver. You know what England expects.

    Like

  69. 254
    Dave -- Your PC Caring PM says:

    I’m fucked. Never mind Gay Marriage will be my legacy, assuming the HoL don’t emasculate it. Ha Ha Ha.

    Like

  70. 256
    Corporal Jones says:

    DON’T PANIC, Captain Clegg, DON’T PANIC.

    Like

  71. 260
    Uncomfortable Truth says:

    UKIP would borrow more than Ed Balls.

    Like

    • 263
      Will.socialists.ever.stop.being.hypocrites says:

      Uncomfortable reply. Osborne is already doing more borrowing than Labour.

      Like

      • 276
        Uncomfortable Truth says:

        That’s gibber. The coalition have to their shame only lopped off a quarter of the deficit but UKIP would double it.

        Like

        • 285
          New Kips on the block says:

          You have a right to your misguided opinion. Even if you are the only one in the country who holds it.

          Like

    • 280

      Your last word sums up the value of your comment very aptly.

      Like

    • 298
      Fuck the LibLabCon says:

      Well for you UKIP is an uncomfortable truth, as the Americans say suck it up!

      Like

  72. 261
    Nick Clegg says:

    The LibDems have lessons to be learned from South Shields.

    Lib Dems get derisory 1.4% in South Shields, Tories down from 21.6% to 11.5%. But UKIP’s 24.2% show their populist challenge is here to stay

    Like

  73. 262
    Will.socialists.ever.stop.being.hypocrites says:

    The Genie is out of the bottle.
    The sheep have a new shepherd.
    Liblabcon finally have competition.

    Like

    • 269
      Will.socialists.ever.stop.being.hypocrites says:

      For the first time in many a long time I am watching the BBC news channel just to see the faces of those presenters.

      Like

  74. 264
    Anonymous says:

    Just heard Hilary Benn on Radio5 talking patronising crap on why UKIP are doing so well – he thinks it’s because ‘times are hard’, no mention of the EU, immigration or the failed policies of the liblabcon. They really don’t get it

    Like

    • 266
      Bazinga! says:

      No and the BBC will now spend the next few days spinning the whole thing. The truth is last night was a disaster for Liebore.

      Like

      • 289
        The BBC says:

        Labour have won a byelection. Nothing else to see here. Move along.

        Like

        • 311
          A Payne in the beeboids says:

          The BBC will not, of course, be mentioning the postal votes that determined the South Shields result.

          Like

  75. 265
    Bazinga! says:

    The BBC don’t seem happy this morning, their beloved Liebore didn’t have a great night.

    Like

  76. 268
    Dave says:

    What’s this knife doing in my back?

    Like

  77. 270
    Will.socialists.ever.stop.being.hypocrites says:

    The Liblabcon idiots are still saying UKIP is a protest vote. What a bunch of sad losers.

    Like

    • 314
      Fuck the LibLabCon says:

      Their heads are stuck so far up their arses it seems they haven’t got a fucking clue.

      Like

  78. 272
    Able Seaman Spad. says:

    Captain Cameron, Sir. There’s a lot of big bangs going off on the starboard side, and there’s a fucking great hole below the waterline, Sir.

    Like

  79. 279

    MSM appears not to know how to report the results with clarity.

    They are so used to the three party shtick that they cannot give a simple summary showing that the biggest beneficiary so far is UKIP.

    Like

    • 286
      The sins of the 'elite' have come back to haunt them says:

      It also emerged that Labour has privately concluded, like the Conservatives, that Ukip must be kept out of the 2015 general election TV leaders’ debates. Some Labour strategists had argued that a strong Ukip showing in the debates would damage the Conservatives, but it now appears there are greater fears that Ukip’s brand of anti-politics could damage all three main parties in unpredictable ways.

      Cameron has already ruled out Ukip appearing in the debates, saying they are a contest between parties that could form a government.
      http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/apr/28/tory-response-ukip-local-elections

      
      

      The LibLabCon parasites are on the run now.

      Like

      • 310
        New Kips on the block says:

        If the Liblabcon thieves, liars and thugs keep UKIP out of the debates the lesser sheep-like public will vote for UKIP in even greater numbers.

        Like

  80. 281
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    This has been another brilliant night for the FibDems ! Break out the champagne organic hemlock.

    Like

  81. 284
    UKIP is saving my life says:

    Ahhhhh!….it’s a great day to be a UKIP party member!

    Like

  82. 288
    The 12,000 who voted Liebour in South Shields says:

    ‘Hands off our benefits’.

    Like

  83. 290
    IT'S A COCKOUT says:

    When the kids said they had been to Stewart Hall , i thought they had visited a house

    Like

  84. 291
    P l e b says:

    Clegg will now be attempting to have secret chats with Ed, when he realises that he has no chance of repeating his vile corrupt treaty with Cameron.
    ‘Say, No, Ed.

    Like

  85. 292
    Did you know.... says:

    A distant relative of Guy Fawkes, the seventeenth century terrorist, has been elected as a Ukip councillor.
    Philip Fawkes, a retired headteacher, is a descendant of Fawke’s great-great-grandfather. He won the South Waterside ward in Hampshire County Council.

    Like

  86. 295
    Redunderyourbed says:

    No policies other than racism, homophobia, and hatred, look it’s the new nazi party with a full array of nutters and thugs. Yes, I loathe the Tories, and normally I would enjoy any discomfort they are suffering, but I despair at any voter having a low enough IQ to tick a box for these UKreep bigots.

    Like

    • 302
      Children of the Political Class says:

      Calling opposition to homosexual marriage homophobia is just crass political playground name calling. And those throwing the label know it.

      I don’t believe in marrying my dog whom I love very much but no one calls me a dog hater.

      Like

    • 312
      Angela Mirkin says:

      The Nazi party were socialists you cretin.

      Like

  87. 296
    IT'S A COCKOUT says:

    Looks like the only think Clegg is going to hold on to , is memories !

    Like

  88. 297
    austerity. what austerity? says:

    The MSM twattery say it is an understandable reaction against austerity.

    FFS austerity has fook all to do with it. A lack of austerity would be more correct.

    Just about everyone I meet can not understand what Dave (and) labour are pissing about at with their failure to deal with the welfare state or their making of doctors into millionaires.

    Like

  89. 299
    Hottentot says:

    Delighted the LDs and Tories are getting thrashed. This vile government needs to understand we have had enough of Bollinger boys, hobnobbing with bankers, & big business. The people of this country don’t want career politicians either. People want jobs which pay a sensible wage, and policies that work for all, not just the 5%.

    I hope both Cameron and Clegg are very uncomfortable with the results, and that the backbenchers now go after Cameron, and the Tory party tears itself apart.

    Like

  90. 305
    Hottentot says:

    “Grant Shapps, the Tory chairman, said: “People sent a clear message. We hear you.””

    Yeah? What are you going to do about it?

    What the electorate are saying to the Tories is, ‘get out of government, we don’t want you.’

    We didn’t want the Tories in 2010, that is why they weren’t elected to govern, and we don’t want them now

    Like

  91. 307
  92. 313
    Old Timer says:

    It does what it says on the tin.
    United Kingdom Independence Party.
    Which bit of that don’t you like?

    Like

  93. 315
    THE END ? says:

    Looks like it’s the end for the British coal mining industry , an industry that at it’s peak employed over 1.2 million men

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2013/may/01/uk-largest-coal-producer-voluntary-liquidation

    Like

    • 320
      Ann Eckdote says:

      In the not-too-distant past I had a coal fire in my living room. There was also a shop in the town centre where I could order coal to fill up my shed. However, said shop never opened at the weekend when I was most likely to be able to get there. It came as no surprise when it shut down some years ago. I now have a gas fire.

      Like

      • 322
        A loony fruitcake says:

        Could you not have ordered the coal over the internet?

        The problem with gas is they con you not just into standing charges but also maintenance contracts.

        When you have a maintenance contract they come around every year and tell you your gas boiler is crap and they have a very special offer just for you;

        I go down to my local landfill site once a month with my trailer and load up all the combustibles ican and stick them in my fireplace with a good old fashioned match.

        Like

        • 323
          A little green man says:

          That is very good.

          That is really going to save the planet.

          And while you are here would you like some of my organically grown turnips?

          Like


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Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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