March 9th, 2013

Saturday Seven Up

This week 104,432 visitors visited 349,399 times viewing 587,739 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


497 Comments

  1. 1

    Thank you for being such a good mouthpiece Guido

    Over comimg weeks and years I will need many diversions vile stories and other tactics you in8w all abiut

    As my employees get condemned at the Old Bailey

    For their criminal activites which of course Iand my family knew nothing about

    • 2

      Never mind. There is always the Grauniad…

      • 4
        An economist says:

        Good morning Bavaria

        Re what you said last nite about Britain having to default in the medium term

        I can only agree

        The question then is

        What effect will this have on the City? and on the UK population?

        The UK press is studiously avoiding the real problems and the real consequences of last 15-year clusterfuck

        • 9
          Anonymous says:

          Britain’s independent fiscal watchdog has rebuked David Cameron for claiming it backed the Government view that austerity measures are not to blame for the lack of economic growth.

          In a speech on Thursday, the Prime Minister said the economy had been harmed not by spending cuts and tax rises to reduce the deficit, but by soaring oil prices and problems in the eurozone.

          He said this view was backed by the Office for Budget Responsibility, which was set up by the Coalition in 2010. Mr Cameron claimed the OBR was ‘absolutely clear that the deficit reduction plan is not responsible [for low growth], in fact, quite the opposite’.

          http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2290499/You-misquoted-impact-cuts-Cameron-given-embarrassing-rebuke-budget-watchdog.html

          • Anonymous says:

            Office of national statistics said some thing like this. Could be the 1st UK PM who does know the difference between truth and lies. It is coming to a state where people don’t believe what he says.

            Its almost 3 year this government cannot continue to blame the last government for the mess UK is in. Labour made a lot of mistakes, this government made mistakes as well, Cameron has to accept the mistakes his government made.

          • the Facts says:

            They have not made any mistakes yet as all the cuts so far were already in the pipeline and introduced by the Labour government.

            Cameron’s cuts do not start to cut in until next month.

          • Anonymous says:

            the Facts; You are wrong. Even if I accept what you say, just answer one simple question.

            Then what was Cameron’s government doing for almost 3 year?

            If Cameron was implementing Labours plan in the last 3 years, then there is no point in Cameron being PM. It becomes worse if he was just sitting there enjoying power while civil service was implementing Labours plan.

          • To Be Fair says:

            To be fair , he wasnt just sitting there doing nothing , he was playing Angry Birds

          • Tory Party RIP - killed by Camoron says:

            Playing Angry Birds a legislating for gay marriage. There are only so many hours in a day, and Camoron’s been a busy man.

          • Anonymous says:

            He has another hobby as well. He left his daughter in a pub, didn’t even realise one of his minister has resigned, etc. This could be the reason he tell things that aren’t the truth. Might had too much to drink.

          • DaveInTheWind says:

            Windmills, windmills and more windmills, that’s the answer! Had one on my roof once – didn’t produce any worthwhile electric power, though – but it did make me look ‘green’ Fnck my core voters, I’m going for the gays and greens – that’s where the votes are. Toodles.

        • 15

          Good morning from just south of the River Inn.

          To save repetition, I have responded to UK Watch’s thoughtful piece here: http://bit.ly/WA2MgQ

          Your questions are good ones though. If you can find one person in the whole world who could answer your question and be sure of it panning out that way, then it would probably be by dint of sheer good luck!

          For what it is worth, and that is not much, I do not think it would have that much of an impact on the City. If you look at the Strengths and the Opportunities in the SWOT approach, they would remain broadly the same. Weaknesses and, particularly, Threats are another matter. How long is the increasingly powerful East going to put up with the west denominating the price of oil? Though it does not address your question, it points to other factors setting the pace.

          To your second question my proposal of reset (see also in the link) is beginning to look like the only realistic way out that has some ethically based approach.

          • Lord Nigel Garage of Luxemburg and nice tax havens says:

            I have read your “reset” most of which I agree with

            But the consequcnes on the City would be devastating IMHO

            The bankers have already destroyed a large part of their reputation for competence (having to run to the BoE and Fed to be bailed out collectively) and honesty (no comment needed)

            If there is a defult on gilts -say of about 30% to be reasonable – their balance sheets will be wrecked agfain (along with the insurane companies, pension funds etc) and Breeitain’s reputation as a “safe haven” finally destroyed

            Added to that, as you mention, large parts of the financial markets are already moving elsewhere – and City market share of falling fast

            Added to that you have serious he

          • Lord Nigel Garage of Luxemburg and nice tax havens says:

            serious headwinds from the Euro area who will no longer accept the UK “siphoning off” financial operations while pissing on the EU

            As far as the population is concerned, default would probablpy entail a drop in the standard oif living of about the same percentage (Rogoff’s studies indicate this)

            But of course Blinky Balls or some other madman would probably say, like Harold Wilson

            “The Pound in your pocket is not affected”

          • Anonymous says:

            UK will never default as has borrowed in £ and can afford ink and paper to print more money. Without £375bn QE plus regulations that make sure insurance companies, pension funds, etc should keep certain % of their assets as UK government bonds UK has avoided default.

            Issue will be inflation and £ falling further.

          • Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

            Doubt if I will still be around when it becomes “The Euro in your pocket”.

          • UK Watch says:

            Got back to part of your reply from earlier:

            Q’s question and USD-GBP

            Breaking it up a little as there are a lot of different parts to the overall problem. It isn’t so much about argument ;-) – rather, how do you fix an economy that has gone through the Brown treatment during a time of shortage, and sort the fact from the propaganda.

            Biggest myth at the moment in UK real economy is that there is high levels of price inflation. This is not true.

            For individuals, it is very important they adjust their perception and recognize shortage induced supply-demand price rise and distinguish that from the more familiar money driven price inflation.

            In terms of ethics, not getting that honest message across is the worst transgression thus far.

            I believe it is not being put across as government would prefer people to believe they are experiencing simple monetary inflation so they have faith the government can easily fix this.

            That is a potentially fatal miscalculation of risk for individuals.

        • 19
          Anonymous says:

          If there is a default it will be a big issue in the short term. UK needs a balanced budget. I am not against high spending or low spending but budget should be balanced. If government wants to spend more it should tax more, at the moment there is no financial responsibility.

          Now a days UK behave like money is growing on trees.

          • Tory Party RIP - killed by Camoron says:

            If the government wants to spend more, it should earn more, not by increasing the tax rate but by allowing companies to expand, become more profitable and hence pay more tax. This probably means having to remove ourselves from the EU, and its job-destroying legislation (and saving ourselves £19billion every year, to boot).

            But yes, a balanced budget would be great: this is how much we earn, this is how much we can spend. But we seem doomed to have the Browns and Osbornes of this world, whose attitude is “borrow borrow borrow, tax tax tax” as if this can continue forever.

          • Anonymous says:

            Tory Party RIP – killed by Camoron says:, almost all of the government earnings is tax. I will be surprised if government runs a business that does make a profit.

          • Herman von Bumboy says:

            ‘UK needs a balanced budget.’
            The EU, however, couldn’t give a shit about such constraints.
            As a professional heel I make sure that no-one ever knows just how unbalanced it is.

          • Tory Party RIP - killed by Camoron says:

            @Anonymous

            That’s my point, exactly.

            Government income comes from tax. So if government wants more income it should not increase the tax rate, but look at what it can do to allow companies to become more profitable (or more pertinently, look at what it’s currently doing to make companies less profitable, and stop doing it).

          • thicko says:

            so long as the UK population is self sufficient in food, water and power production I don’t care about the rest.

          • Anonymous says:

            “so long as the UK population is self sufficient in food, water and power production I don’t care about the rest.”
            ,
            ……if it is happiness that we seek, then the question could be but does not have to be:

            ,
            “”"”"”"how can we create the everlasting sweet fruits that come from duty and love whilst being both grounded and fit.

            the sweet fruits that are the outcome of us fulfiling our duties and the sweet fruits that come from ..our love of the commitment of our devotees to us, our love of the universe that we have created and also our love of our partner.”"”"”"”

          • thicko says:

            “the sweet fruits that are the outcome of us fulfiling our duties and the sweet fruits that c0ome from ..our love of the commitment of our devotees to us, our love of the universe that we have created and also our love of our partner.””””””””

            there is nothing wrong with a warrior teaching his son to hunt and fish and happily taking home the catch to his spouse

          • thicko says:

            well there is a fucking spooky thing. I have been getting like a key stuck so I get loads of 0000000000000 as I type which stopped when I banged the 0 key, so I dismantled and cleaned my keyboard and it went away but now I notice that I cut and pasted in last reply and
            “sweet fruits that c0ome”
            the “0″ is there. How fucking weird is that ?

          • thicko says:

            is it a mysterious message ?
            what could “0″ mean ?

          • Anonymous says:

            there is nothing wrong with a warrior teaching his son to hunt and fish and happily taking home the catch to his spouse.
            .
            right vs wrong.
            who is to say.
            .
            Charles Leiper Grigg, the man behnd 7up was a clever dude.
            the first drink that he invented was called Whistle. dude knew his sanskrit…as an advertising man he followed value that is forever.
            .
            ७ is the ancient symbol for 7…the shape of the whistle came latter.
            .
            he knew a lot more.
            it seems a lots is known by secret.

          • Anonymous says:

            nudge says appreciate the zero.
            .
            zero is the point that the positive and negative meet. so long as we are grounded the energy produces gems. Only diff is that positive have been awarded the sweet nectar of life and the negative just watery shapeless emotions.
            .
            we have been played like a musical instrument to over.react. Richard Branson is a good role model of self restraint and hence? his out of this world vision and the discipline to deliver. radioactive sc gives us seemingly impossible situations….radioactivity lasts but decays too, this is the time that we are seriously going to be tested … about how much faith we have in ourselves. faith begins at home and spreads outwards. faith in love, faith in duty, faith in truth. all starts from point zero that is us and can reach infinite. But why make the effort when physical comforts and privileges are not hard to get.

          • thicko says:

            what happened to Aids for slimmers ?

      • 236

        I find Guido a very good distraction when I’m feeling guilty about something. I can focus on the crap other people shit.

      • 405
    • 8
      Tony Blair (godfather to one of Murdoch's kids) says:

      It’s just amazing how Murdoch’s empire got away with it, for so long. I’m lost for an explanation.

      • 12
        Slotgob says:

        Dahling, get back into this bed, you know you shouldn’t comment on anything without first negotiating your fee. I’m sure that, in this instance, that nice Mr Fawkes will slip you a tenner.

    • 16
      B1lly troll watch says:

      looks like B1lly the shirtlifter has morphed into B1lly Murdoch hating Troll

    • 143
      It's a bit strange says:

      It’s interesting that in the stats of the most popular pages there is no mention of Chris Huhne and his ex-wife in spite of Gido continually banging on about them, Rupert will not be happy about that.

    • 217
      Anne,D.Burnbum says:

      Hacking offence= CONDEMNED

      1200 DEATHS AT MID STAFFS ON LABOURS WATCH=NO OFFENCES COMMITTED.SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.X

    • 325
      An Astronort says:

      Gordon Brown’s moral compass has guided us to the dog shit nebula

  2. 3
    albacore says:

    Never mind all this politics stuff
    You know who must be feeling real rough
    If he can’t be arsed to post here first
    Let’s hope he’s being carefully nursed

    • 5
      Alky Campbell says:

      I am very tired today

      And Chilcot has all the real dirt on me now

      What should I do?

      • 7
        Mr Helpful says:

        One suggestion that leaps instantly to mind: hang yourself.

        • 21
          Matilda says:

          ..suggestion that leaps… How about head first off Beachy Head?

          • Mr Helpful says:

            Beachy Head has wardens who are on the lookout for leapers. They might spot him, and stop him. We don’t want that.

  3. 6
    Lord Nigel Garage of Luxemburg and nice tax havens says:

    Rupert Murdoch is backing me to destroy what is left of the British political system

    Do you think he is sincere?

    • 10
      - . ... ... .- - .. -.-. -.- .-.. . ... says:

      Who cares about the sincerity; it’s the result that counts.

      • 58
        N Devver says:

        Hi Tessa
        Thought this was a darned good brainwave of yours : http://bit.ly/14FsAGr
        Hope you’ve no objections to reminding everyone.
        The stranglehold of the LibLabCon trick has to be broken if we are to survive.

      • 162
        Anonymous says:

        intention is what matters
        outcomes depend on luck.

    • 13
      albacore says:

      Sincerity and British politics
      These days, ain’t that just an unlikely mix?
      All the LibLabCons are sincere about
      Is wiping the old British nation out
      Them the N H S don’t exterminate
      Are seeing immigration seal their fate

  4. 18
    Grollace says:

    If I were a Lib Dem (which I’m not), I would be wondering what forms of “extreme acts” I would have to do to get people NOT to vote for me.

  5. 20
    Blowing Whistles says:

    There are new adverts playing out on the radiowaves about calling the Anti-terrorist hotline if you see anything suspicious – Oi Plod we’ve seen enough suspicious events at westminster for ages – arrest every MP for being treasonous terrorists.

    • 135
      Expat Geordie says:

      I once got a Coventry pub evacuated because someone had left a briefcase lying around. But it was 1992 and in those days terrorists were Irish and Cov had form.

      • 152
        It's a bit strange says:

        Oy, Gido is “Irish” is he a terrorist, he hasn’t mentioned Coventry in his many versions on Wikipedia as far I know.

        • 160
          Tay King-dePisse says:

          Mind if we send YOU to Coventry?

        • 284
          Expat Geordie says:

          The last time that I went there was ten years ago, and a load of muzzies were demonstrating outside the Council House (Cov’s equivalent of a town hall). I never saw that in my student days just 11 years earlier.

          Incidentally, “being sent to Coventry” refers to a church near Coventry Indoor Market that was used as a prisoner of war camp for Royalist prisoners during the Civil War.

          Cov had (and presumable still does have) a large Irish populationm and has been the subject of several IRA attacks over the years. Where I was there an Irish student friend didn’t come back after the summer break. I turned out that he had gotten five years for membership of an illegal organisation.

  6. 25
    Fuck it says:

    Nice to see the BBC wasting more money telling us how wonderful muslim women are in their hijabs.

    Is this really worthy on news? Will the BBC now do a story about suicide vests?

    • 27
      Telly-tax dodger (14 years and counting) says:

      This is why I stopped watching/listening/reading BBC news a long time ago (1999). BBC news: it’s just one long politically-correct Leftwing circle-jerk.

      (And if you stop paying the license fee, they don’t come after you.)

      • 73
        Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

        Noticed there plenty of them screaming and chasing Bieber. Seems OK to be a believer and a belieber!

      • 104
        JustSayNo says:

        listen to the wise one – ‘Telly-tax dodger’

        If people will stop complaining and just stop paying, the criminal organisation that is the BBC will end. I have not paid for about 12yrs, and never will again.

    • 157
      It's a bit strange says:

      In factory where I used to work many years ago, most of the lasses used scarves to cover their hair enmeshed in curlers, they did not like it if you patted the tops of their heads, RC nuns used to wear a sort of scarf to cover their hair some still do

  7. 31
    Lord Pont says:

    Can we deport Vicky Price at the end of her sentence ? She’s foreign, a criminal, her kids are grown up. She’s a Greek economist for god’s sake !

    • 35
      ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

      Greek economist ?? Deport her – FAST !

      • 39
        Murdoch should face the music says:

        Can we deport Isabel Oakershot at the s

        • 40
          Murdoch should face the music says:

          same time?

          And the Master Mobster Murdoch?

          • Hodge is a sour-faced hypocrite says:

            While we’re at it, can we deport Blair back to Scotchland?

            And Brown.

            And Cameron.

          • Asslick Almond says:

            and wee Doogie.

          • It's a bit strange says:

            Sorry Murdoch is a US citizen Cameron was born in this country, unfortuneately so was B’Liar, but Brown could be moved back to Scotland when they get their independence.

          • Anonymous says:

            Blair was born in Edinburgh which last time I looked was in Scotland. Who advised you on Geography, Isabel Oakeshott ?

          • It's a bit strange says:

            Well you can pack him off as well

    • 41
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      What about her human rights, surely if we deport her she will be photographed by the press. Oh no that cannot be allowed. Better get some expensive human rights lawyers and barristers on the case. Incidentally, who does pay for human right legal costs?

    • 300
      Expat Geordie says:

      She’s pushing 60, and she came here about 40 years ago, which is before Greece joined the EEC. Does that mean that she was working here illegally? If so then she should have been sent back years ago. Just don’t forget to get her to hand back her CB before we kick her out.

  8. 37
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    The BBC wants clarity and the truth from everyone it interviews, but the BBC itself has no clarity and truth, and only tells us what it wants us to hear.
    Question Time and BBC News are typical of the BBC’s lies, meddling and bias.
    The BBC should be investigated from top to bottom on it’s financial dealings, and it’s political affiliations.

    • 43
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      Just done the investigation.
      Financial dealings – The BBC is bent, crooked, and compliant with ta avoidance. So why doesn’t Margaret Hodge investigate the BBC.
      Political affiliations – Left wing, and advised by the Guardian, labour and the unions.

    • 126
      dave dimblebum says:

      It was entirely a co-incidence that I picked the ordinary member of the public who just happened to be a paid up labour party member who had been plotting all day on twitter and with a labour mp to launch an attack on UKIP.

  9. 46

    Hello boys

    I am back fom hollies again

    I told you it would all end in tears

    I propose that the British Government now take a rational approah as I always did

    Firstly all taxes should be rem8ved on alcohol and all drugs legalised – it is called the opium solution

    Secondly, all the ikons of British civilisation like Becks and Squash, Rooney, C o l e, Freddy Mercury Juton Bieber and the Kardisians shoul be given immediate life peerages and their own tv station

    Latly, for the moment, there should be an immediate distribution of cah to every inhabitant to blow in the pub as Simon Jenkins of the Grauniad wants

  10. 50
    Britannia says:

    I would just like to say what a disgrace it is that Cameron is allowing the French to practice military invasions of this country. He’s a hoon.

    • 57
      - . ... ... .- - .. -.-. -.- .-.. . ... says:

      I would just like to say what a disgrace it is that Cameron continues to allow some jumped-up foreign communist twerp who – so far as I know – has never been to England, to be our unelected president.

      • 60
        N Devver says:

        Don’t give him ideas. Think of the costs of having to disinfect and fumigate everywhere he’s been.

  11. 52

    I belive in a government of national unity

    But tomorrow I will change my mind

  12. 59

    Sentencing Monday 14:00hrs

    My guess:

    Huhne: 2 years
    Pryce: 3 months

    • 65
      Ah! Monika says:

      Hmm. Not so sure of the differential. He pleaded guilty, she not guilty ( twice ).

      • 83
        Lou Scannon says:

        He pleaded guilty ….. eventually, after wasting another shed-load of our money.

      • 137
        Expat Geordie says:

        Agreed. She went to trial, not him. He’ll get 6 months and she’ll get 12.

    • 69
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      Or suspended sentences for both? I wonder if the judiciary dare do that?

      • 74
        Blowing Whistles says:

        I’ve been m00ded at 11:05 something about senten.cing restrictions

        • 81
          (I don't need no doctor) says:

          Mod ded. What happened to free speech?

          • Anonymous says:

            I believe that comment is exactly what is wrong with the UK.

            You have freedom to say what you like. You just have to abide by the rules of this private owner. Nothing is stopping you going elsewhere.

            If the UK people could just understand that one persons freedom should not impose on others.

            The opposite is when the freedom is attempted to be restricted by a government paid agent, when there is no law that allows the restriction. The paid agent cannot act other than instructed by law. Their personal views are irrelevant. They can not make up laws or deem something they imagine as unlawful.

            A certain Minister and MP would be well advised to understand this principle, that was recently upheld in the court of appeal. Maybe they should correct their negligence before it is too late.

          • It's a bit strange says:

            Anon I agree there, Gido has to be careful about libels actions and has a perfect right to delete any comments he considers libelous, BUT also other comments which are not libelous but are not always on message are deleted so his claim to be a libertarian do not hold water, which Blowing Whistles is probably alluding to.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            I swerved around the d0m in no 75. The bar is the no of days served which can precluded one from becoming an M. again (I’ll have a P please Bob)

          • Anonymous says:

            He has a perfect right to delete anything. No reason needed. A landlord serves all that will increase his profits, but some behaviour is barred. The landlord sometimes gets the wrong end of the stick, when he hears certain words used. No harm done. Just act a little different, and wear another coat, and he will gladly take your order next time. The pub was an age old training ground for behaviour.

            Now lost from our society.

    • 71
      Blowing Whistles says:

      There are restrictions on convicted persons becoming politicians – what’s the bet he scrapes in by one day under the restriction?

    • 76
      Blowing Whistles says:

      One day under the bar to become an MP again.

    • 77
      Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

      2 years equals 6 months. People with connections only serve a quarter of their sentence at most.

      • 82
        (I don't need no doctor) says:

        Steven Gerrard. Self defence is hitting first.

        • 197
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Someone made sure that that case stayed down in the Magistrates – had it got bumped up to Crown Ct – then he would have gone down. BigBucks / favours / NNWW! *one eye closed*

        • 250
          Kavanagh QC says:

          Self defence can be used even where you hit first as long as the court is satisfied that your pre emptive strike was to thwart an otherwise imminent assault on your person.

          Ps I told you Pryces defence of maritial co ercion was bollox

  13. 61
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    As a majority shareholder in RBS I would just like to apologise to customers for everything that went wrong the other day.

    There was money in the cash machines and the failure was the result of management.

    It had nothing to do with the economic crisis or the EU.

    So there.

  14. 62
    N Devver says:

    If there was any real justice in this country Huhne would be put away for a minimum of 20 years, along with all the rest of the corrupt and perverted so-called elite.

  15. 75
    Anonymous says:

    When do the LibDems expect Chris Huhne to return to government?

  16. 84
    Shock horror Guido behind the curve you read it here first says:

    Paddy Asdown said “bollocks” live on BBC News a few minutes ago.

    • 148
      Smuggy says:

      In the context of having his bollocks up a woman who he wasn’t married to?

  17. 85
    Ah! Monika says:

    At least Pryce could write letters on her own behalf.

  18. 87
    Owin Jones says:

    Lord Ashcroft: “In opposition we can talk about our historic mission. Only in government, can we fuck it all up,and boy,with David Cameron as Prime Minister,Oy Vey,what a fuck up.”

    Well said,my noble Lord

  19. 92
    Ah! Monika says:

    Abu Qatada arrest over ‘bail breach’

    Special Branch do not have an enviable task.

    Imagine to have to listen in to his bedroom antics.

    …Hold on…better not.

    • 94
      Ah! Monika says:

      Imagine having

      And I went to a Grammar School

    • 99
      Fuck it says:

      Yes listening to the rag head do a 14 year old boy up the arse is offputting

      • 112
        One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

        Offputting? By jove, no! It’s a wonderful display of core Conservative values, what what what! Why, nothing says “I’m a modern Conservative” like the loving act of pushing your John Thomas up another man’s bottom.

        Or even a boy’s bottom. Let’s not be judgmental on their lovely culture, which so enriches our diverse society, what what what.

        Toodle pip!

        • 229
          Better times a coming says:

          Don’t forget our future legislation on what we can do to animals, what, what .

          • The Fuckwitted logic of our politicians says:

            I want to marry two people, a man and a woman. Surely as long as we love each other and all consent that should be allowed.

  20. 101
    Ah! Monika (09/03/2013) says:

    Englnd doing better.

    Is eight i l l y the umpir3 ?

  21. 105
    Murdoch is my hero because... says:

    1) He’s played the establishment at their own game for decades and often won, both left and right.
    2) He smashed the baleful grip of the Unions on the press.
    3) He’s made a fortune by producing content that people actually want to consume in bucket loads, unlike the pious creeps at the Guardian.
    4) He’s a risk taker who thereby expands the choice available to consumers of media product.
    5) Consumers actually have a choice whether to subscribe to Sky etc, unlike the miserable BBC model, which let’s face it, if introduced now would only gain credibility and traction in North Korea.
    6) He’s got a hot Asian wife.

    • 107
      - . ... ... .- - .. -.-. -.- .-.. . ... says:

      “3) He’s made a fortune by producing content that people actually want to consume”

      He makes cream buns?

      • 109
        cream pies for all says:

        Consumers consume fuckwit.

        • 114
          - . ... ... .- - .. -.-. -.- .-.. . ... says:

          Allow me to assist:

          con·sume
          [kuhn-soom] verb, con·sumed, con·sum·ing.
          verb (used with object)
          1. to destroy or expend by use; use up.
          2. to eat or drink up; devour.
          3. to destroy, as by decomposition or burning: Fire consumed the forest.
          4. to spend (money, time, etc.) wastefully.

          • How about talking in English? says:

            I love eating and drinking the Simpsons on Sky 1. Hmmm.. consumerliscious!

          • Dictionary for fuckwits. says:

            Definition of ‘consumer society.’

            http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/consumer%2Bsociety

          • - . ... ... .- - .. -.-. -.- .-.. . ... says:

            Listen, retard, I will type this only once, because you’re boring me.

            “I viewed Sky News on Freeview”. “I was a viewer of Sky News”. “I did not eat or drink Sky News, I viewed Sky News”. “No money changed hands; I was not buying Sky News, I was viewing Sky News.” “I was a viewer“.

            Got it? Hurrah!

          • How about talking in English? says:

            Leave it, Tessa – he’s a meedja studies stoodent. The don’t talk English.

          • what a cuпt says:

            @- . … … .- – .. -.-. -.- .-.. . …

            “a society in which the buying and selling of goods and services is the most important social and economic activity: the consumer society with its all-pervasive materialism”

            So we go to you now for definitions rather than the Oxford English Ducitionary eh?

            Let me assist you fuck yourself.

        • 115
          How about talking in English? says:

          You mean he makes TV shows that people want to watch?

          • Murdoch is my hero because... says:

            Yes I did, but this is a list, not a fucking conversation in the pub.

          • How about talking in English? says:

            So why did you say he makes stuff people like to eat?

          • Murdoch is my hero because... says:

            Perhaps you fucking retards would now like to fisk my main points one by one rather than make idiots of yourselves by picking on the use or misuse of a common term? Thought not.

          • Meeja Playa says:

            By “content” do you mean “programmes”?, or more specifically Manure vs Chelsea seven days a week.

      • 184
        Casual Observer says:

        Consumption of esoteric things like broadcast media is abstract.

        The act of consumption would be exposure and subsequent absorption in this case.

        This extends to cream buns, where the real consumption at the individual level is when the bun is eaten. The same happens when media is observed.

        In the economic sense it would be the act of completing a transaction.

        Note: The notion of the consumer society really relates to the prior notion. This implies a very materialist view of the world.

        That incidentally, is pure Marxism.

    • 165
      Anonymous says:

      .
      what’s wrong with our own fathers being our heros.

    • 200
      Blowing Whistles says:

      He’s also very very good at Entrap.ment & Blac.kmail

  22. 110
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    SPEND ! SPEND ! SPEND !!!

    photo/1

  23. 125
    Cockroach says:

    As the sun turns to a Red Giant, we will still be here.

  24. 127
    Owin Jones says:

    Huge strap across bottom of BBC News Channel: “Coalition Tensions.” Usable any day since 11 May 2010.

  25. 130
    Inspector says:

    - . … … .- – .. -.-. -.- .-.. . … = TESSATICKLES

    • 414
      Extremely ancient seafarer says:

      Yes, we all knew that. We did not need the services of a ticket inspector on the underground to tell us.

  26. 131
    Owin Jones says:

    How many Bedroom Tax Victims are there in your constituency?

    National Rankings Here; http://www.greenbenchesuk.com/2013/03/how-many-bedroomtax-victims-are-there.html

    • 134
      0win's mum says:

      How many postal voters are there in your bedroom, 0win ?

      • 154
        Anonymous says:

        The external random oversight of the voter canvas, and the employment of clearly incompetent people in these roles must be addressed. Another story yet to emerge.

      • 231
        Owin Jokes says:

        get out of my bedroom while im wanking as usual

  27. 132
    Chris Huhne says:

    Dear PCC,

    Waaah! They’re being horrible to me. Waaah!

    Chris Huhne

    • 136
      Robby Robertson says:

      You were happy to kick the crap out of the public, with your loony lefty green idea’s , where people didn’t have a choice but are forced to pay taxes for co2 gas, when you did it you were happy to stick your head above the parapet when you were doing because you thought you was a man of power and influence, well you did wrong and you now know it’s the public who have the power and influence via your cronies , time to pay your dues, so stop moaning, you got found out.

    • 138
      Robby Robertson says:

      m o d d ed

  28. 133
    Testin m o d b o t t says:

    The cat sat on the mat

  29. 140
    George Osborne says:

    “We’ve already managed to blame Gordon Brown, hot pasties, snow and badgers for the appalling state of the economy so obviously it’s now the turn of the National Westminster Bank’s IT Department to shoulder the blame for our own incompetent handling of the economy.”

    • 147
      Anne,D.Burnbum says:

      Well done fellow socialists for filling comments with anti Murdoch and Cameron crap.Lets make sure we push the 1200 needless deaths in Mid Staffs on Labours watch out of the news.
      Signed by Alan Milbum,Pat Hewitt,Postman Johnson and my lovely self.x

    • 234
      Lord Shotoakes says:

      Jerrybuild more houses for the neeedy

  30. 141
    P l e b says:

    People are completely wrong about the Chancellor George Osborne.

    He’s not a wanker at all. He’s a genius.

    Yes, I know he looks like a wanker. And he sounds like one. And OK, he quite often acts like one too. But I’m getting fed up of people criticising him without looking at the facts.

    So here they are:
    2012 – A Year Of Growth

    Credit where credit’s due – Mr Osborne had told us his 2012 budget would be a budget for growth and that is exactly what he gave us.
    Just look at this raft of growth figures under his stewardship of the economy:
    Inflation has grown from under 3% to nearly 6%.
    Unemployment has soared to levels not seen for 18 years.
    Bankruptcies have nearly doubled.
    Top executives’ pay has shot up by as much as 50% in the last year.
    The gap between rich and poor is now wider than it’s ever been in history.
    Sales of antidepressants have risen by 20%.
    Crime is increasing for the first time in 16 years (although Theresa May might try to claim credit for this particular success).
    Homelessness is 13% higher.
    VAT has gone up to 20%.
    The cost of living is rocketing – prices of basic foodstuff have gone up by an average of 6.2%.
    Rail fares are set to rise 5.9% in the new year.
    Hospital waiting times are lengthening.
    The number of recessions has doubled in less than 2 years.
    And after all that – what is the net result on UK debt? Aggregate indebtedness of the UK is now 11% of GDP higher than when Mr Osborne took over as Chancellor.

    Brilliant!

  31. 142
    Owin Jones says:

    FOR SALE: 25,000 blue ‘Wembley here we come’ t-shirts… Contact David Moyes, Everton FC, Goodison Park.

    • 153
      Gordon McMental says:

      I’ll take them. Cycling is very popular. And that Bradley Everton will help sales.

  32. 144
    Owin Jones says:

    My boyfriend said I use sex as a weapon.

    so I slapped him in the face with my dildo.

  33. 145
    P l e b says:

    The Times reports that it had seen details of a poll of Tory supporters that showed just 7% believed Cameron will win an overall majority at the next general election, while three-quarters expect Labour to be in power

  34. 146
    Owin Jones says:

    Hat Trick

  35. 150
    Owin Jones says:

    What do you call a resigned Pope? Ex-Benedict Good morning, enjoy your breakfast.

  36. 156
    Bill Quango Rt Hon MP says:

    Traffic alert.
    Be advised that Western Road , Brighton, will be closed today whilst Vince Cable is on manoeuvres.

  37. 166
    Abu Qatada says:

    I just popped out to buy some sheep brain and tongue for dinner. What’s the big deal?

  38. 167
    Potty Toynbee says:
    • 170
      R. Youshore says:
      • 174
        old SHEP says:

        Polly logic again; that tax increases are a good thing, If a council can keep bills down for its residents and live within its present budget that is an outrage?. No need to cut front line services, you can save money by getting rid of some of the backroom bureaucrats on fat salaries and gold plated pensions and stop a few vanity projects. The tiny time argument doesn’t wash.

        • 176
          old SHEP says:

          TinyTim.

        • 428
          JH3093840934 says:

          Polly is the high priestess of what Thomas Sowell calls ‘The anointed’, a class of public intellectuals who cast themselves in the role of rescuers of the downtrodden who have been mistreated by that nebulous thing called ‘society’.

          Concepts such as balanced budgets, low taxes, personal responsibility and facing the consequences to ones own actions are a threat to the privileged Umbrian position of the anointed. This completely explains their faux outrage at such ideas.

      • 354
        Sidmouth Hurts says:

        You want to be in CONSERVATIVE east devon Hannan you arse.
        Roads like the IDF think we’re Iran, non-existent services and fuckwit councillors….I’m all for austerity Dan but these fucks couldn’t find their arseholes with help and a fuck-off mirror…time to stop voting these shits in, sack the circus that passes for a civil service (no it isn’t “civil” it’s unionised) and just get off party politics, UKIP then.

    • 173

      We are full of needy shirtlifters in Brighton

      And all their artifial children

      • 205
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Will it be another ten years before Huh** admits that the global warming thingy was all one big fat lie?

    • 202
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      “Shame on councils who freeze council tax to cut services for old+children+frail” and who keep paying their own members and managers £100k salaries and gold plated pensions.

      I think we shall find most who are doing that are labour.

  39. 168
    One Term Dave says:

    Everything is going to plan. I am leading the Tories to annihilation in 2015. Toodle pip!

    • 177

      I would leave before 2015 Dave

      The roof is going to collapse before then

      • 178
        Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

        *sticks tongue in microwave*

        • 201
          Gordon Brown says:

          I think I’ll dry my pants in the microwave. What could possibly go wrong ?

          • Gordron's nurse says:

            Just don’t leave cack in them, like you always do, or you’ll stink the place out.

      • 219
        Anne,D.Burnbum says:

        lETS HOPE ITS NO

        Lets hope its not the roof of mid staffs hospital where 1200 died on labours watch.

        L

    • 182
      Sir John Major says:

      I am still the last Conservative leader to win an election. Oh yes.

      • 186
        Ambassador Thorax from the Planet Chromada says:

        That statement will probably still be true 25 years from now..

        • 193
          Ex long term Tory Supporter says:

          More like 100 years or forever if the Cons don’t move away from the PC spendthrift road to economic collapse that they are currently following alongside the LabLibdums.

          Dave is fucking up the Country and the Conservative Party permanently — Unless the Tories have the guts to get rid of the tosser pdq they are finished

          • The EUSSR says:

            Don’t worry we are ready to move in and take full control.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Cameron is like that other slowly dying behemoth zombie the EU.

          • labourunionsbbc are one under the EU says:

            Sadly I think it’s too late now, Camerwrong should have dealt his heaviest blows when he took over and the people were still smarting from the reign of terror. It’s all getting a bit forgotten now (with massive help from the Bbbc).

            Voters will be looking for, yawn, ‘change’ at the nest election. UKIP is this countries last hope, and that’s a mighty slim one.

          • P l e b says:

            You are wrong. The Tories are finished with him or without him. People have seen what damage their Shock Doctrine policies are doing, and they won’t allow it to happen again.

          • Better times a coming says:

            In future we’re gonna spend spend spend.
            Happy days are here again, yippee
            It,s gonna be so great under the mighty wankers

          • Do v8te for me chaps

            I have no policies

            Buut we have got the whole Establishment seriiusly rattled

            8ne dinner with that rogue M6rdoch and they are all shitt7ng themselves

            Lets go down fighting at least

            Before our Last Stand in the boozer

          • Possable UKIP voter says:

            That dinner with Murdoch’s got YOU rattled more like it.

            So your either a alien ponce or a useful idiot (state employed).

  40. 180
    Owin Jones says:

    Comrades

    The people will rise today, tomorrow, every single day!

  41. 187
    Owin Jones says:

    ‘Great Benefits Swindle’ meeting Abney Hall, Stoke Newington with Owen Jones, Diane Abbott Jennette Arnold (Tues, 19:30) http://tinyurl.com/bwdxb4x

    • 188
      Diane Abbott says:

      The Tory-led government is making changes to the benefit system which will strike at the heart of the welfare state. Thousands of families in London will be affected, with many forced to move out of their homes.

      What the changes could mean for you:
      - A cap on benefits – with a maximum regardless of need or how many children you have.
      - Bedroom tax – you could lose 14% of housing benefit if you have a spare room or 25% if you have two spare rooms.
      - Income for disabled people – will be cut and more difficult to claim.

      • 191
        Just stating the obvious says:

        Bedroom Tax? The removal of an unjustified subsidy is not a ‘tax’.

      • 192
        Labour: Pure, utter, scum. says:

        “Thousands of families in London will be affected, with many forced to move out of their homes.”

        And hopefully move back to whatever piss-ant country they came from.

        • 376
          Whiote person playing divide and rule says:

          Surely they could move into one of the spare rooms

      • 418
        Extremely ancient seafarer says:

        Serves them right for having so many bloody kids, which they could not afford to have, in the first place.

    • 190
      Hard-lazing Labourvoting Shirker says:

      I think I know most of the scams, Owin, but any new ones you can let us know about will always be welcome.

      • 194
        Owin Jones says:

        We gotta check… are you human?

        • 198
          Hard-lazing Labourvoting Shirker says:

          Barely – been necking Whitelightning all week; got me bennies, went to Asda, you know ‘ow it is mate.

      • 210
        (I don't need no doctor) says:

        Yes Abbott tell us about Gordon Brown scrapping the 10p tax rate and raising it to 20p. While your at it why did Miliband and Balls agree with Gordon but now don’t.

        • 216
          Labour: Pure, utter, scum. says:

          And why did Labour flood the country with cheap immigrant workers, reducing employment opportunities for British workers, lowering wages for British workers, and reducing the supply of affordable housing for British workers? And why did Labour reduce – nay, destroy – educational standards, creating a generation of school-leavers who are essentially unemployable because they know SFA?

          A sheepish “we’re perhaps a bit sorry about that, sort of, yes” isn’t good enough.

          • P l e b says:

            Labour didn’t. The EU did, following the Maastricht Treaty, signed by JOHN MAJOR.

          • Better times a coming says:

            Obviously the labour party was not in power or governing the country for thirteen years.

          • John Major says:

            I think I may have been tricked into signing something while I was suffering from a bout of salmonella. Definitely not cricket.
            I blame it on the curried eggs.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            It also lowers working conditions for British workers. Something along the lines of, “if you don’t like it you can fúck off – I can always get a foreigner to do your job”. It does seem to be the worst employers who employ mainly EU migrants.

            So after the trades unions spent nearly a century trying to improve working conditions for the common man, it’s a Labour government that undo’s the lot.

          • Extremely ancient seafarer says:

            Perhaps Monsieur Pleb would be good enough to point out the Article which states that it will be incumbent to reduce educational standards to those previously obtaining in Neanderthal times. Thanks.

  42. 196
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    I want to wage ideological jihad on pensioners.

    • 206
      Jon Snow says:

      Look Cable leave my buss pass alone, could you manage on 250k a year as I have to?

      • 208
        Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two bog seats, two Jags & Shags. says:

        Any free lunches and dinners round there ?

        • 213
          John jelly belly Prescott says:

          There should be one rule for pensioners in the Lords, and another rule for the rest of the plebs. I’ve got a big fat gut.

    • 224
      old SHEP says:

      The financial Guru speaking again, what pensioner perks?, Tax a bus pass, that will cut swathes into our £4 trillion debt… knob-heads!.

      • 254

        He is the worst of the lot.

        Its a special sort of talent. Not only must he be the worst politician, in a sector where it is known that if any MPs were any good, they’d be off making money elsewhere, so the skill pool is already very shallow, but he’s the worst amongst Lib Dems.

        A party renowned for idiocy, ineptness, infants and inanity.

        • 420
          Extremely ancient seafarer says:

          Did Rumpypumpy tell/order Cameron to put Dimvince in that job?

    • 292

      Hello Vince Remember me We used to dine together

      I am glad you want to go after Uk pensioners

      I have recently been paid another 2 million pounds

      On topof the 37 million I was paid to wreck the reputation of B a r c l a y s

      I approve of your ideas of jutice and economics

  43. 214
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    Reporting direct from the LimpDim conference in Brighton

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p015x2w9

    • 218
      Ambassador Thorax from the Planet Chromada says:

      Has he found out the price of a litre of diesel yet?

      Maybe he can progress to the price of a loaf of bread, followed by the average home’s electricity bill and how much of that bill is down to of his fucking nob-head ‘green’ taxes..

  44. 221
    Colostomy Vince says:

    My answer to all your questions is: I have no recollection.

    • 331
      Liedems perverting the course of justice for good says:

      Does he shit thro’ his skull or that ludicrous colostomy bag keeping his brains warm

  45. 225
    Idiotdetector says:

    “Lib Dem leader tells fringe meeting at Lib Dem spring conference that disgraced MP was powerful thinker and very effective secretary of state”

    • 226
      Ambassador Thorax from the Planet Chromada says:

      A ‘powerful thinker’ who (a) couldn’t concentrate on a 30mph speed limit and (b) didn’t quite see what was going to happen if left his wife and shacked up with another woman after he got his wife to take his points. He couldn’t see any possible storm on the horizon by doing that? What a tit.

      I really hope this ‘powerful thinker’ (which is probably is, by LimpDum standards) is presently thinking long and hard about what’s going to happen to him (and specifically his arse) in a prison cell over the coming weeks and months.

    • 227
      old SHEP says:

      He was and is a complete Huhne (reality check).

  46. 228
    Owin Jones says:

    Ashcroft poll has Tories cruising towards a crushing defeat. Cameron a proven loser. Peter Bone positioning for leadership at…….

  47. 230
    Ed Balls(Chancellor Of The Exchequer Designate) says:

    Could somebody please explain to Osborne, that if you sack 1 million then TAX take,will go down,and Benefits will go up, basic economics.

    • 233
      P l e b says:

      Either:

      Osborne is too thick to understand

      Or..

      Unemployment is a price worth paying (H/T Norman Lamont)

      • 263
        Better times a coming says:

        Obviously the Governmint should employ many millions more and then the tax take will go up and all will be lovely. This is the way goin forword.

        • 273
          Ambassador Thorax from the Planet Chromada says:

          Exactly right. This is Ed Balls’s “basic economics”, apparently. Labour left a national debt of eight hundred billion pounds (£800,000,000,000.00). There are 6 million civil servants. If you divide eight hundred billion (the debt) by six million (civil servants), you get 133,333,333.33.

          Therefore, if you pay every civil servant (all six million of them) £266,666.67 each, and tax them at 50% (they’re now rich, so they can afford it), the government will receive .. (drum roll) .. eight hundred billion pounds! Debt: £.0.00.

          My word, Ed Balls is a genius!

          • Ambassador Thorax from the Planet Chromada says:

            Sorry, if you divide 800 billion by six million you get 133,333.33, so it’s even easier than I thought.

    • 258
      Ambassador Thorax from the Planet Chromada says:

      Could someone explain to Ed Balls that the benefit bill is less than the salaries would have been.

      • 260
        Ambassador Thorax from the Planet Chromada says:

        Also, explain to Ed Balls that the “tax take” doesn’t go down, because their salaries came out of tax in the first place.

        • 294
          Engineer says:

          Also, tax take will only go down if they are private sector jobs that go – and as we know, the private sector is actually (perhaps rather surprisingly) taking people on.

      • 291
        Expat Geordie says:

        If each one has an average salary of £20k per annum, plus a pension contriution of £4k per annum, then you sack the lot with the legal minimum redundancy payment (1.5 weeks salary for each year worked, and not the silly money that they seem to expect) and pay them dole of £70 per week, or £3650 per year, then you would start to save money in about six months.

  48. 232
    Owin Jones says:

    A New World is Coming, We’ll See a New Era Soon!

    Well in 2015 anyway !

    • 264
      Good times coming says:

      Hooray hooray. Everyun will be happy when the money trees is going again.

  49. 238
    Freddie the Fishmonger says:

    Egyptians attacking Suez Canal.

    I have just filled my car up with petrol.

  50. 242
    No Future in Edinburgh. They are all backwards labour voting scroungers in junkie shitty says:

    Another week wasted.

  51. 245
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

    Guido can you start a sweep stake , maybe include one of your fabulous prizes
    on what sentence we think Huhne and Pryce will get

    My guess as there is one law for them and one for us plebs that Huhne will get 4 months so he only serves two and Pryce will get two months suspended for two years

    • 293
      Expat Geordie says:

      They both committed the same offence. He didn’t go to trial, she did, so she will get the longer sentence. My betting is Huhne gets six months, serves six and a half weeks and then does six and a half weeks on the tag; Pryce gets twelve months, serves three months and gets three months on the tag.

      • 304
        Anonymous says:

        Remember Huhne was through his Counsel trying to get the case thrown out and only changed his plea on the day of trial so the Judge is hardly likely forget that .

        They are both convicted criminals who have been found to have scant regard for public office and have been shown to be more than willing to do anything which would feather their own nests including implicating others who had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this .

        The maximum sentence is life and I am sure this will be mentioned on Monday.

        • 310
          Casual Observer says:

          It is still irritating that most of the media (in particular the BBC) are still referring to this, and in particular Pryce’s verdict, as being simply a matter of speeding points.

          The conspiracy, which is nearly fully exposed in the emails which were released, is of higher quality than most of the fiction on TV.

          One thing still bugs me. The text message exchange. I still do not think the son sent those, and that was before the emails revealed that this was being discussed as an entrapment method.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Arthur Siskind the shyster of New York knows all about entrapment as does his former oppo at arms length Ms Constantino. We could ask Charlie Ergens shysters what they know about entrapment as well … but thats another story.

        • 312
          Expat Geordie says:

          Okay, double the numbers, but Pryce will still get the longer sentence for the reason stated. Personally I’d like to throw away the key, but in a country where an Asian taxi driver in Birmingham can hit and kill a student, drive with him on his bonnet for 90 yards before crashing into a tree, and only end up with a £35 fine (the story was in the Bournemouth Echo a few months ago but I can’t be arsed to find a link), then this isn’t going to happen.

          Incidentally, £35 is what I was fined by Dorset County Council last month for accidentally parking in a badly marked on street disabled parking bay in Wareham. If I had run over and killed the traffic warden would I have gotten that as a freebie.

        • 355
          Expat Geordie says:

          Tried to reply three times but have been m0der rated on each occasion and I’ve got no idea why. I give up.

  52. 249
    Grant Shapps aka Michael Green says:

    Theresa May is a danger to all right-minded individuals, as a leader she would be comparable to Hitler.

    • 256
      Ambassador Thorax from the Planet Chromada says:

      That’s a bit hard on Hitler. At least he was capable of deporting people he didn’t like.

    • 259
      Theresa April says:

      You just wait until I’m prime minster. I’ve got a date with destiny.

    • 262
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

      So lets let all the Muzzbots stay here and bomb the shit out of us while we pay their fuckin bills

    • 356
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Says Mr Jekyl and Hyde himself. You Anti-brit

  53. 261
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I will be doing The Harlem Shake

  54. 265
    Owin Jones says:

    UK – Opinium/Observer poll: CON 27%, LAB 39%, LDEM 8%, UKIP 17%

  55. 266
    Moishe Owin Jones says:

    Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Wheres my Foreskin?… Oh Wait I’m a J*w!

  56. 267
    Anonymous says:
    • 276

      Between you me and Rupie Murdoch my new fellow traveller

      We are giving Dave another six months to shit on his few remaining supporters

      Then we will take over

      • 282
        Tory Party RIP - killed by Camoron says:

        ‘Few remaining supporters’?

        That many? LOL.

      • 285
        Casual Observer says:

        The EU will likely be done within 6 months.

        That will be about the time Merkel gets slung out.

        Real question is, who will go first: Cameron or her ?

        The cross hairs, rightly or wrongly, must be on Cameron.

        • 289
          RetardEd Miliband says:

          Noooooooooooo! Not my wuvvly EU?! I’m going to be prethident of it one day! I will have a mathive offith in Bruthelth and another in Thrathbourg! With a mathive thalary and penthion!

          Oh yeth!

  57. 269
    Owin Jones says:

    Please don’t shout at me.

  58. 270
    Owin Jones says:

    Labour on course for big election win, according to Tory poll http://gu.com/p/3eb9e/tw

    Taxi for Prime Minister David Cameron,please.

    • 280
      The public says:

      See you at the departure lounge, Owin. It’ll be like Saigon in ’75.

      You are getting the Hell out of Britain when Red Ed and his union bosses take over, aren’t you?

      Everyone else will be.

      • 287
        old SHEP says:

        Ask Andy about the killing fields.

      • 307
        Anon says:

        I know where I am going. China. Ironic really,to flee a bunch of socialist utopians to breath in the far freer air of a communist state.

    • 281
      old SHEP says:

      Nothing is going to happen for at least 2 years Owen, by which time most of the posters on this blog that can afford to will have jumped ship, if they haven’t already (geographically). Hope you enjoy your EU new world Labour Utopia if it happens, but remember, your fondness for publishing polls puts UKIP on 17% already, could upset a few apple carts.

      • 283
        The Magic Money Tree says:

        Owin also needs to understand that his “Labour Utopia” has a very hefty price tag.. and the people he expects to pay for it are the ones who are going to jump ship.

        Mind you, I’m sure all those Equality and Diversity Coordinators in the civil service pay a lot of tax, so maybe they’ll be picking up the bill. Ed can always give them a pay rise, so they pay even more tax.

  59. 272
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    My message to Ed Balls

    “You boil my blood. Stop it.”

    • 278
      The public says:

      Our message to Ed Balls: You’re Labour’s biggest liability. Fuck off.

      • 296
        Expat Geordie says:

        No, Ed. Please stay. Let everyone remember that it was you who destroyed this country, and that given the opportunity you would happily do it again.

  60. 297
    A Reporter from the Daily Planet says:

    We understand a challenge to the Prime Minister is imminent .

    The OBR may not be quite as independent as you are being led to believe .

    The New Governor Mark Carney will be arriving soon.

    • 315
      Good times coming says:

      Great news, he’s bringing the maple money trees to replace our worn out printing presses.

      What a truly great banker he must be, right up there with Hugo and all the Saints

      • 421
        Extremely ancient seafarer says:

        Goldisocks are briefing him as we speak. Be warned, nothing good will come of his stewardship.

  61. 298
    Casual Observer says:

    The recent Eastleigh by-election restored to some of the collective memory the sorry tale of Steven M!ligan and his rather bizarre passing after 2 years as MP. Also recalled was knowledge that he may have stumbled onto a rather powerful p3d0 ring which could have caused his undoing.

    Nearly forgotten is that another candidate was being considered for Eastleigh in the 1992 election, a Mr. P3ter Clark3.

    http://www.newstatesman.com/node/137978

    Clark3 had paid GBP 200 to sponsor a pamphlet produced by the Federation of Conservative Students. The pamphlet contained proposals to change Sc0ts law on !ncest, among other things. Clark3 strenuously denied any knowledge and considered this a smear campaign.

    If one Googles: ‘NOT JUST A TROLLOP BUT A LYING TROLLOP’, another interesting article relating to an affair he had in 1986 can be found, the same year that this pamphlet business occurred.

    Knowing that she has admitted knowledge of a real p3d0 ring being in operation, perhaps Clark3 just got a little bit too close, and the ruination he endured was a lesser punishment ?

    Some made fun of the irony of the circumstances of M!ligan’s death in this context during the 90s. From an unenlightened position for sure.

    • 333
      Special Agent Fox Mulder says:

      PPS to a Tory Minister “kills himself accidentally” in, they say, autoerotic asphyxia.
      “Orange” in the mouth.
      The constituency then goes LibDem and has stayed that way for 20 years.
      The “Orange Book.”

      Coincidence, you say?
      There are no coincidences.

      • 363
        Blowing Whistles says:

        And to think that Conor Burns who was ever present Hedging his End around the same timeline knew absolutely nothing of the intrigues.

  62. 299
    A Westland Helicopter says:

    A major bribery case will be gripping the nation soon too .

    • 308
      Casual Observer says:

      This may be another cast iron guarantee:

      The corruption with !AF seems to have been driven out of !taly by Finmeccan!ca primarily through AgustaW3stland. The two !ndian firms involved, Aeromatr!x and !DS, are being pulled apart by CB! at present.

      The depth of scandal will be driven by politics in !ndia, particularly in order to smear Rahul Ghand!, who has recently come out with some interesting statements denouncing corruption.

      No one over there really gives a damn about Cameron, and the deal may well be cancelled outright unless some serious discounts are offered.

    • 365
      Blowing Whistles says:

      are there links to the carlyle group perhaps … umm must ask John Major if he can recall any memories vince cable style.

      • 404
        Not Blowing Whistles says:

        No. It’s to do with a cast iron guarantee, !taly and R@hul Ghand!.

        Deep politics, and possibly a cancelled contract.

      • 422
        Extremely ancient seafarer says:

        Is/was not Bush senior a leading member of that penny pinching group?

  63. 303
    Owin Jones says:

    The faceless bureaucrats who run this country from Brussels.
    Agreed
    They run

    Education policy
    Council Tax
    Income Tax
    Corporation Tax
    VAT
    Petrol Duty
    Booze Duty
    How often we empty our bins
    Libraries
    Univeristies
    Fuel prices
    Police
    We should get out of the EUSSR now!

    • 314
      Nigel Farage says:

      That’s my boy Owen.

      I’m delighted that you have seen the light.

    • 319
      Good times coming says:

      You’ve missed out our glorious Gay Marriage policies and animal maltreatment practices

      • 330
        Herman van Rompuy (unelected President of Britain) says:

        And the HS2 rail link – that’s one of my plans as well. Pan-European high-speed rail. You will build your part of it, I’ve insisted. Dave has agreed.

        And it’s only going to cost you £33billion! Which you can’t afford! And it will forever make a loss!

        Mwaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa!

      • 332
        Andy Burnham says:

        And Frosties !

    • 321
      Herman van Rompuy (unelected President of Britain) says:

      Get out of the EUSSR? Do you honestly think Ed, Dave and Nick are going to get you OUT of the EUSSR? Shall we ask them? Oh, they can’t talk right now; Dave’s currently sucking my cock, Nick’s licking my balls and Ed’s got his tongue right up my arse!

      Mwaaaa ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!

    • 366
      Blowing Whistles says:

      And most of the control is via ‘Moitoring Officers’ (Of the legal profession – clue there) at every Local Council – but eric pickled ‘knows nothing’ as does francis fraud who is to be star performer alongside tatchel at next weeks who can plant a bint at Question Time?

  64. 306
    Biased BBC Caught Out AGAIN says:

    The woman who accused UKIP of being disgusting is a Miss Amy Rutland, a paid Labour Regional Co ordinator and planted in the audience. Her Twitter account showed she had spent the afternoon with Steven Twigg, the Labour buffoon on the panel prior to the recording of the show. Her rant was allowed by Dimbleby without intervention.

    • 311
      Fat Pang of Beeboidia says:

      She looks like one of mine

    • 313
      Anonymous says:
    • 316
      Herman van Rompuy (unelected President of Britain) says:

      Excellent! The Brussels Broadcasting Corporation is worth every euro I give them.. and I get all those euros from.. YOU! Mwaaaa-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!

    • 320
      old SHEP says:

      I saw that clip posted on here soon after QT last Thursday ( haven’t watched QT for years for obvious reasons) and thought “I wonder”, turns out my suspicions were correct, BBC bus in political activists and surprise, surprise, out of an audience of 300 people, Dimdlebore manages to home in on (totally randomly you understand :-) ), a Labour activist who is then given free rain to spew idiotic bile without interruption. BBC we just love you!.

      • 324
        BBC grooming the Nation for good says:

        Hooray hooray, salute the day when we express our love for the Dear Socialista Leaders through the Brussels Broadcasting Communication.

        All deviants to be submitted for re-education at Eastleigh or Bratislava.

        • 335
          old SHEP says:

          EU gives several hundred millions of pounds to the BBC to promote the message, don’t bother trying an FOI request, they hide behind a wall of secrecy.
          Hows, about that then!.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            And don’t forget they have their own in-house shysters paid big bucks too.

    • 327
      Casual Observer says:

      One hopes that she has been careful to keep her phone / address details off of the ‘net.

      Would not be surprised if Labour use her for a ‘false flag’ to discredit UKIP leading up to the May council elections. It did seem a little too easy to identify her.

      • 337
        Anonymous says:

        No false flag. They have been caught out,simple as that.

        Iain McNicol General Secretary of The Labour Party.

        • 347
          Casual Observer says:

          By false flag I mean the following:

          They have been caught out. A little too easily methinks.

          Now, if the activist in question becomes subject of harassment etc., or indeed something happens to her, then it will be very easy to try and make a case that this was the actions of extremist supporters of a far right party. If you catch my drift.

          b/s Such as impact of blogosphere bullying leading to suicide could be an angle useful to some.

          It would of course be one of the LibLabCon who are behind that, similar to some of the shenanigans which went on in Rotherham.

          The activist in question is clearly disposable.

          The games being played now are not clean.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            The games are those of some very desperate and deluded marxist socialist commie zioloons.

        • 372
          Blowing Whistles says:

          One thing to note – about this brilliant ‘internet expose’ will be the DEAFENING SILENCE of the free press(?) / msm on the WHOLE EXPOSE. And don’t expect Dumbass of QT to make any public apology this side of hell freezing over – never mind global warmMongering.

      • 344
        Fat Bastard MP, Labour Campaigner-in-Chief says:

        Look for young Amy to be a candidate before too much longer.

        • 360
          Expat Geordie says:

          No chance. She’s a Miss, not a Ms. She’s far too politically incorrect to be a Labour Party candidate.

      • 345
        Fact Hunt says:

        Oops. Address was published.

  65. 309
  66. 317
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    The young lady on Babe Station has adopted the “trapped wind” position. I am unexpectedly aroused.

  67. 323
    Questions of our time says:

    Why has Joyce Thacker still working in Rotherham social services ?

    • 326
      One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

      Because I happen to agree that UKIP supporters are loonies, fruitcakes and closet-racists, so I’m not going to take any action whatsoever! By jove, mixed-sex married couples adopting children? Good heavens, no! Fudge-packers adopting children is OK, but not heterosexuals! Disgusting!

      Toodle pip!

      • 329
        Questions of our time says:

        Should have said ‘is’ not ‘has’.

        The correct answer is more likely to do with Joyce being Common Purpose and involved with the advisory group project.

        • 334
          One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave says:

          .. and me being a weak and pathetic leader who isn’t really interested in the trials and tribulations of normal British people.

          Tally ho!

  68. 338
    Jimmy says:

    Tories unveil new PPB

  69. 341
    Saffron says:

    Before I go to bed a few points to note.
    This so called government that we are saddled with are a bunch of illiterate nutters.
    They don’t seem to have any concept as to what the people desire.
    This country is about to be flooded with aliens as regards our society,when in heavens name are we going to stop this dead in its tracks.
    Our country is now at risk from this influx of benefit seekers who cannot get the same benefits from their own countries.
    When oh when oh when will we see a goverenment who will be interested in protecting the interests of it’s own citizens.
    Frankly IMHO all of the three of our current asshole parties could’nt give a shit.
    Vote agaist these three shithouse parties would be my advice next time round in that they are a bunch of in it for ourselves plonkers of the first degree.

    • 343
      old SHEP says:

      Woof!.

    • 357
      Residing in 96.97% white Merseyside says:

      Why don’t you voice your opinions on the Croydon Tram or the Central Line?

    • 375
      Blowing Whistles says:

      The problem is getting the labour delude and duped mongrels to wake up to it all besides the idiot blue rinse dead heads and as for the yellows … Zzzzz.

  70. 346
    A just punishment says:

    I know it’s not legal but while we have Qatada in custody, can’t officers look the other way while someone buggers him with a studded lead pipe?

    • 349
      Casual Observer says:

      I don’t get why that’s just. He’ll have plenty of that in Jordan.

      Sent back for having a mobile phone switched on in his house whilst he was at home.

      Harsh, but fair.

      • 378
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Perhaps May could have a ‘quiet’ word with Straw and Miliband about them rendition flights that they have no recollection of. Qman gone. We opened the cell door and he wasn’t there he must have been spirited away in the dark of the night guv … honest.

        btw way May stop talking about ‘we could’ scrap – just fucking do it and then the public will rout the fecking dirty politicians who have been infsting parliament for decades. Double result. Triple result will be hanging the judges who have allowed the British public to be terrorised by terrorists.

  71. 348
    Ed Moribund says:

    Golly ! I can’t quite believe it. .. But according to the Times, I’m going to be prime minister.

    Even though I’m rated ‘hopeless’ in the leadership department. Beyond hopeless on ‘economic policy’ and ‘weirdo’ on image.
    I’m still going to prime Minister !!

    Its just like Bush vs Gore isn’t it? The ever so slightly less bigger of the idiots gets the job!

    • 407
      Alice says:

      Still, in your previous incarnation you did employ your great intellect to kick off the wonderful carbon emissions policy to ensure the lights go out soon.

    • 425
      The late Theresa April says:

      You, Vacant Ned Millibrain, prime minister ?????
      Over my dead body.

  72. 350
    • 359
      T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

      ‘Mr Blair is accused of being “evangelical” in his approach to the world’

      I expect to be elected as the next pope any day now.

    • 362
      Blair Watch says:

      Some of those in that article who try to palm off the responsibility to Bush wholesale are wrong. Spot the Labour spin.

      That argument is obvious and perhaps would have some weight were it not for the fact that Blair has recently been on the record pointing out that the legal basis and by implication decision was actually with Lord Goldsm!th and not himself.

      The hammer of justice needs to come down hard on Blair and the others who were responsible for taking us in. That includes in particular Mr C@mpbell.

      At any stage he could have simply said: no, as many in the country desired.

      • 369
        Universal Hiss says:

        What I find depressing is after all this waste of life & the terrible economic policies of 13 years of Labour they will be elected with a massive majority next time round.

        Dave & his cronies are totally to blame for this. We have yet to see the total shambles of Universal Credit.It will fail with billions of pounds lost.How many Roma will infest this country come the New Year?Inflation edging 4%. N.H.S. still in a very dark place.Economy on it’s knees.Von Rompoy calling most of the shots.

        Is there anyone left in this government who can fix anything? At all?

        • 389
          Theresa May says:

          I can fix stuff. I can guarantee that this time I will definitely get Abu thingy whatshisname deported.

          Or put into a bigger house.

          One or the other. Does it matter?

          I’ve got some lovely new shoes.

          • Anon says:

            Dear Teresa,

            I am sorry to have to tell you this, because if you had a friend they would have done so, but your taste in shoes stinks.

            Also, your immigration policy stinks. And your ill-thought out forays into law reform.

            Best regards,

            Anon

      • 380
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Look at the Corporations – bankers specifically who have paid bliar for his deeds. They couldn’t give a 5hit about the cannonfodder either they’re just statistics on a chart.

  73. 351
    Casual Observer says:

    Remember when Dave seriously looked like he was in pain in the HoC when Wats0n stood up and said his piece about R!ghton ?

    The following may partly explain some of his genuine pain:

    http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200102/cmselect/cmhaff/836/836.pdf

    Note the names on the advisory committee, and compare the recommendations against what is now known about care home abuse cover ups.

    • 371
      Universal Hiss says:

      What a big pdf you have there.

      Sorry,not wading through that lot. Any edited highlights you would care to share?

      • 392
        Casual Observer says:

        Would check the title, list of contributors, and skim through the conclusions.

        It was written after the last time allegations cropped up relating to North Wales care home abuse.

        It essentially advises against ‘trawling’, or in cases of allegations relating to a care home laying down guidelines to stop police contacting other residents or staff as part of their investigation.

        The tone set against victims who may come forward for non-honest reasons is disturbing. More so are the recommendations about always investigating when it is known that the more recent allegations against Savile were still not taken seriously by the police.

        The problem is that trawling is usually required in cases where allegations are made relating to state run institutions as staff will cover for each other. In those situations it is necessary to contact a random sample of other ex-residents for corroboration of what be regarded as hearsay.

        One of the lessons that should have been learned from Waterhouse and the other cases which came up is that the staff and system should be trusted less than the victims when it comes to establishing fact. However, only by ‘trawling’ across a broad sample is it possible for an investigation to establish credibility of complaints in historic cases.

        The recent Savile experience is a reverse example of this. If the original allegations had been followed up, and even recently the investigators had been able to ‘trawl’ across ex pupils of Duncroft for example, he could have been brought to justice.

        The above document is a charter for cover up, in the case of historic abuse in children’s homes, and led to Str@ws modification of the childrens act which prohibits care home residents from raising complaint now.

        Dave and Wats0n were both on the Home Affairs select committee and involved in the creation of this. So, does this lead you to suspect they may be less than honest about wishing Yewtree / Fairbanks etc. to be successful ?

        • 397
          Universal Hiss says:

          Thank-you. It’s disturbing that for years there has been little desire to dig by police,social services,politicians etc.etc.

          I’m getting more & more despondent.

          • Casual Observer says:

            No point in getting despondent.

            You have proven by your emotive response that it bothers you: That is a good thing.

            The state only has an interest to investigate and deal with problems to an extent that keeps the public compliant in paying taxes, and ensuring that those in power retain enough legitimacy to remain in the positions they are in and be paid.

            Do not expect any more from them.

            If you have time, skim through the archives or do a small amount of research and then make a posting on one of the blog sites out there. That would get the information where it is needed and is quite rewarding.

            A police investigation of 10 officers, 10 hours a day over 6 weeks is: 3000 man hours.

            If an average of 200 people do 2 hours a day over 6 weeks that is: 12000 man hours.

            That is the type of difference now which is forcing change, ignoring the fact that the web version will be able to cover many more avenues of investigation, and will encompass a much richer knowledge base.

            It is worth while knowing that intelligence services typically consist of people simply reading newspapers and flagging up items of interest for those further up the food chain to digest.

            That is the model which is at play here, and which is shining a very bright light into some fairly dark corners.

            One thing which is clear is that child sexual abuse, or rather the threat of exposure on that issue true or false, is intimately linked with state power in the UK, and the EU.

            Society is starting to ask if this is an acceptable status quo: It isn’t.

            A shift in that status quo is happening right now.

          • Universal Hiss says:

            The state only has an interest to investigate and deal with problems to an extent that keeps the public compliant in paying taxes, and ensuring that those in power retain enough legitimacy to remain in the positions they are in and be paid.

            Do not expect any more from them.

            & from that I will not be despondent?

            Dear God. The only god is money & power in that view.

            I want none of it.

            I also wish I had not enbarked on the philosophy course despite your enthusiam.It’s just made me hate more.I’m surrounded by fuckwits who vote tribally & don’t experience the joy of life because they are so uneducated.

            Heartfelt sigh.

          • Casual Observer says:

            Well, would you expect more from the Grauniad ?

            Remember always the cave allegory. The shadow that the Grauniad casts is pretty poor, and its back light is dim.

            Can’t dictate how you wish to feel, but would say that succumbing to despondency only does damage to yourself and those close to you. It has been proven that experiencing negative emotions does release chemicals in the body which do harm. Best to always look for positives: negatives do kill.

            Seeking enlightenment is a big positive, and recognizing the flaws in your peers is good. It is not that they are uneducated, more mis-informed. The secret is in the cave.

            My statement on the state is deliberately neutral, the real picture is worst. A fair reflection of how socialist structures operate though.

  74. 367
    Gaywindfarmscammers says:

    Dave is certain of our votes in 2015.

    • 381
      Blowing Whistles says:

      He wont be around by 2015.

    • 385
      One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

      Super! That means I’ll get.. about 4 votes in 2015! By jove, that’s jolly good, what what what!

      I came 3rd in Eastleigh, but 4 is a bigger number than 3, and whilst I must admit I’m not sure what the figures relate to, I’m sure the bigger number is better, what what what.

      I think I’ll increase foreign aid, to celebrate!

      Tally ho!

  75. 377
    EU Watch says:
    • 379
      EU Watch says:
    • 382
      Universal Hiss says:

      Would be wonderful if they all jumped together.

      Ode To Joy would have real resonance.

      • 387
        Tachybaptus says:

        ♫ Alle Menschen werden Brüder
        Außerhalb der Union! ♫

      • 432
        Anonymous says:

        It’s clear that the criminal euro nutters will not allow the Euro to fail and will do ANYTHING to stop ANY country leave the Euro,

    • 383
      Blowing Whistles says:

      I think Ireland will jump first.

      • 390
        Universal Hiss says:

        I thought Ireland had been good little Europeans just lately? Taken the beating.

        Lost a good percentage of it’s young folk in search of a better country.

        A great place to fill with Roma? Lots of empty houses.

      • 429
        G o'Logist says:

        Let’s hope China never gets sucked into the black hole that is the EU.
        I dread to think what would happen if China were then to jump.

  76. 384
    Prison Planet says:

    The Unlawful Killing of Princess Diana and Dodi Al-Fayed

    http://www.prisonplanet.com/the-unlawful-killing-of-princess-diana-and-dodi-al-fayed.html

    Diana got killed exactly at a time when armament manufacturers were infuriated about her anti-personnel landmine campaign.

    • 386
      Duh! says:

      She was quite obviously killed by David Bailey, because she’d started having her portraits taken by Mario Testino.

      • 393
        James Hewitt says:

        Prince Charles…is that you?

        If it is, I claim my 5 shekels!

      • 399
        Technomist says:

        I was looking at some of David bailey’s work this afternoon at the William Morris Gallery. His women were either wearing scarves or were bouffey peroxide blondes. Jean Shrimpton’s hair looked weird as well. I do not know what it means, but it is quite odd.

        • 400
          Tachybaptus says:

          It was the age of rigid hair control, which lasted right up to the hippy era. You could have smashed an egg on Jean Shrimpton’s lacquered coiffure without stirring a strand. I can remember how horrible this glued-together hair felt.

        • 401
          Universal Hiss says:

          I think it means they were all flakes at the time & you & I were too young & unsure of ourselves to call out fake.

    • 394
      Casual Observer says:

      It was most emphatically not the paparazzi who were responsible.

      The verdict was: Unlawful killing.

      The film did not get released in US as insurers in London refused to cover against libel, even after cuts.

      Good insight into how things can be censored in the US.

      P!ers M0rgan was awesome in it. Basically said the establishment did it.

    • 396
      The Watcher says:

      I am sure it had nothing to do with her being pregnant with an Al Fayed….

    • 495
      Boggart says:

      The only person in the car wearing a seatbelt survived. Pretty clever of the “killers” to know in advance she was not going to be wearing one.

  77. 402
    Revd. (£rd Fucking Way) Phoney B£iar, sanctimonious git and £iar, emoting and wiv stupid grin says:

    Hi !!! and Hullo !!!!

    Y‘kno – people shouldn’t criticise my boy Dave – he’s only following my example – which really is the only way! Y’kno – €USSR – useless money – impoverished military – hare-brained military adventures – bullshitting with every breath – he’s ma boy!

    Must go! – Cherry is restless and she says she has all the equipment ready and waiting!!

  78. 413
    thicko says:

    whose idea was it to let all these hard eastern europeans into the country ?
    the soft indigenous population is well fucked

    • 416
      albacore says:

      Ne’er mind, eh – cast iron Dave’s at the helm
      All he’s doing is enriching the realm
      Well, that’s what the E U told him to do
      And, as a European, he’s true blue
      Whereas, as a real Tory and a Brit
      This last line’s stumped me. Pray do finish it

      • 430
        Mr Helpful says:

        Whereas, as a real Tory and a Brit
        We know, with these Roma, we’re in deep shit.

  79. 423
  80. 426
    Nick the Horsefly, Huhne-in-Chief at Pervs Я Us says:

    I love chocolate assortments, don’t you ?
    My all-time favourite is el clúster cucaracha.

  81. 427
    Gideon says:

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/revealed-hs2s-33bn-budget-already-derailed-before-a-track-is-laid-8527920.html

    
    

    Pah ! £33bn ? A drop in the Ocean Finance account.
    It’ll soon be someone else’s problem anyhow. I’ll just be around long enough to make sure the ill-gotten gains are kept in the family.

    • 433
      Sir Peter Mildew says:

      Unbelievable (almost)! HS2 is “plagued by flawed IT systems”, four years before they even start building the thing? Exactly how complex have they made their IT system at this stage of (non) construction? It presumably consists of a couple of Wifi routers, a printer, several spreadsheets and an Access database.

      “We have set up an Efficiency Challenge group” – that sounds distinctly inefficient – and expensive. One could surmise they’re employing “Efficiency Champions” to hold lots of PowerPoint presentations in front of a bored and harassed workforce who have all got better things to be getting on with.

    • 434
      Sir Peter Gangrene says:

      Unbelievable (almost)! HS2 is “plagued by flawed IT systems”, four years before they even start building the thing? Exactly how complex have they made their IT system at this stage of (non) construction?

      “We have set up an Efficiency Challenge group” – that sounds distinctly inefficient – and expensive. One could surmise they’re employing “Efficiency Champions” to hold lots of PowerPoint presentations in front of a bored and harassed workforce who have all got better things to be getting on with.

    • 438
      Dave the Waster says:

      Quite agree Gideon. £33bn is only equal to 3 months Deficit in LabLibconners’ Paradise. Mere peanuts.

      Slightly concerned that no business people will want to travel on HS2, however. All their communications will be on the internet thingy by 2030 apparently. Still no doubt lots of public sector executives will still use it to attend top level LBTG diversity meetings, as they will still need to physically interact with each other.

      • 442
        Gideon says:

        Ah, but the justification for H2S is that we’re also going to lay fibre-optic cable along the same route so that everyone who doesn’t want or can’t afford to travel on the train will still be able to communicate with each other and achieve everything they would otherwise have done anyway. Almost everything I should say – Dave, remember to bring an extra large tub of vaseline with you.

  82. 431
    Black Dog. says:

    An Isr ae li TV company has launched a channel just for dogs.

    I can think of a few female MPs who will watch it then. ( Harriett says she will providing there’s no dogging to watch )

  83. 435
    • 440
      Al Gore's vocal spheroids says:

      Politicians couldn’t give a shit about proper scientific evidence. All they care about is their personal wealth and bungs from corrupt organisations with vested interests.
      If they get offered the chance to jump on a jet to some exotic location and berate us about alleged climate change they jump at the chance. Their behaviour alone is a dead giveaway that they’re lying through their teeth.

  84. 436
    50 Calibre says:

    I am not given over to violence towards women. It is quite shocking to see what happens to half the world’s population at the hands and feet of the other half. However, for Mrs Balls I would be happy to make an exception, especially if the proposed violence could disable her gob! No wonder her idiot husband looks so old and tired with her yapping on at nineteen to the dozen…

    • 437
      Sir Peter Gangrene says:

      Second exception: Mrs Dromey?

    • 486
      Casual Observer says:

      I think you may be in the market for a scolds bridal.

      • 487
        Extremely ancient seafarer says:

        The word is bridle…. but please don’t bridle at having this detail pointed out!

        The implement was named after the thing horses wear in their mouths. Keeps women quiet or so I am told.

  85. 441
    Screwed Taxpayer says:

    So Archbishop Welby doesn’t think there should be benefit cuts.

    Another stupid fucking prelate. Someone remind the cnut that the National Debt is well over £1 trillion and rising fast.

    • 444
      I don't believe it! says:

      A man who believes there’s an invisible magic immortal fairy looking down on us from the sky fails to comprehend the urgent need to cut spending?

      No way! ;-)

    • 445
      Bradbury Pound says:

      So default, lock up the parasites who have deliberately fucked up this country and then start over afresh.

      • 450
        Labour's voters are subhuman scum says:

        +1

        It was the benefit parasites who kept Labour in power for 13 years, partying at our expense. Now these spongers expect to get off Scot-free, lazing around whilst the rest of us pay to clear up the mess.

        Screw that. Labour-voting parasites need to learn an important lesson: if you vote Labour, you will be very severely punished. Make them work for their benefits. Let’s say, 50 hours a week, starting at four in the morning. Cleaning sewers.

    • 448
      Economist says:

      I wish these churchmen would stick to what they know best: p doe filia.

    • 453
      Abdel from Tooting says:

      This new Chief Devil Dodger needs a good slapping .

      He is of course free to say what he wants within the walls of his Church but frankly he should keep his nose out of politics and pay his taxes like the rest of us.

      At least David Cameron is working his socks off trying to make things better and is answerable to us all at Elections.

      • 462
        Tosser Dave says:

        Thanks for your support Abdel. Great to know that you are supporting my Gay Marriage and HS2 projects, to name but two of my achievements.

  86. 446
    It doesn't rhyme but what the hey says:

    There once was a cùnt called Qatada
    Try as we might
    We couldn’t get him off our border
    So a few of us got together and smashed his ugly fucking face in and force fed him bacon and rammed a bottle of beer up his arse and cut off his knob

    • 449
      Andrew LooseMotion says:

      Needs a bit of work.

    • 456
      Pam Ayres says:

      Our Parliament is consistently crap
      ‘cos they cannot deport an old bearded twát.
      Theresa May huffs and she puffs
      When all she has to do is put him in the back of the fucking van, drive him to RAF Northolt, shove him on an RAF flight to Jordan, resist the urge to chuck him out the door at 40,000ft, job done, everyone’s happy.

    • 458
      Anonymous says:

      Er, it’s not Qatada’s face you should be smashing, he’s just working the system like anybody would It’s the fecking idiots in government and our useless justice system you should aim your punches at.

    • 485
      Casual Observer says:

      Try Lisbon Treaty, Article 50.

      It’s the ECHR / European Court of Justice and a little bit the EU which is preventing the UK for doing what it should with this guy.

      • 488
        Extremely ancient seafarer says:

        So chuck him out and let them all sue us – see how far that gets them!!

  87. 451
    One Term Dave says:

    We must stick to the plan A. There is no plan B. Plan A is complete humiliation in 2015.

    • 457
      Ed Ballsup says:

      The Tory-lead government are failing to reduce Britain’s debt because they aren’t borrowing enough.

      • 463
        RetardEd says:

        When I’m PM in 2015, I’ll invite all my Trekkie friends to a fantastic party in number 10.

        • 469
          Communist union baron sizing up Number 10 says:

          Forget it, dork, we don’t want you and your geeky friends getting in our way. Find some community centre to hold your spazfest.

  88. 452
    Nigel F'Orange says:

    Up to 17% and rising! Are you listening Dave?

    • 460
      One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

      Have you paid me £250,000, cash? No? Then I’m not listening.

      Chin chin!

  89. 454
    Dave La Mince. says:

    Well done Amy!

    #Winning.

  90. 455
    The Lefties' Ghetto Trap says:

    So the Lefties have now Hi Jacked mothers day.

    Anything that deters young girls from thinking that a sprog from any father will get them a house and an income for life has to be a good thing. And as for paying bonuses and incentives for them to procreate even more sprogs is fucking criminally insane as well as cruel and without hope.

    • 468
      Dave is a PC idiot says:

      Although it is not ideal, at least young girls’ sprogs have got mothers, unlike the poor little kids with two daddies in Dave’s Gay Marriages.

      • 472
        Three gay blokes who want to marry each other and be dads says:

        Two daddies? That discriminates again us!

      • 473
        Three kweers who want to marry each other and be dads says:

        Two dads? That discriminates again us!

        • 477
          Metrosexual Dave says:

          It’s already started. Homosexual husband and husband are trying to ban “Mothers day” from our schools.

          • Bradbury Pound says:

            ‘Mother’s Day’ is strictly commercial, of course, being a deliberate distortion of Mothering Sunday which is an Anglican tradition.
            Meanwhile, ‘Father’s Day’ is completely artificial.
            Presumably the same ‘couple’ will be calling for that to be banned too.

          • Pressure Giving says:

            Red Nose day should be banned. It’s like a mini Nazi thing in some workplaces, If you don’t give you are shunned, in Sainsburys most of the staff were dressed up for the day, not because they wanted too but because peer group pressure forced them.

            Same goes for the BBC’s Children in need.

            And as for Dave forcing all tax payers to give foreign (not to be confused with disaster relief but it is by many) that is scandalous.

        • 481
          Gay "families" are not possible says:

          Go away and do whatever you want to do to each other in private away from the rest of us. You cannot give any child a normal upbringing with a mother.

  91. 459
    Ah! Monika says:

    Will some investigative journalist please discover what the condemned are having for their last lunch tomorrow?

  92. 461

    No advertisement for the Sun on Sunday today Guido

    Have all their jounalists been arrested apart from you?

    Methinks you will be able to become 4he Editor at this rate of arrests and convictions

  93. 464
    Jo Shitson says:

    Jo Swinson turned my stomach with her utterly dishonest speech in which she claimed they’d dealt with the allegations as best they could. She’s already been exposed as having told victims they “have to put up with it if you want to get on in the party”. Vile, vile, lying cretin.

  94. 467

    Since you are such a supporter of the Rule of Law as you hace recently shown in the H uhne case

    Could you please give us a running tall5 of how many of your M urdich colleages a r r ested and c on vic ted please?

  95. 471
    Hunky Dave says:

    I would like to thank all shirt-lifting, wind farm scamming African dictators for their continued support. With your help we are confident we can win in 2015.

  96. 474
    Sandal Scandal says:

    Yes we have let people down, but the Libdems are now a party of government and not of protest.

    • 482
      The Windmill hugging Sexual and Justice Perverts Party says:

      Five minutes power in a hundred years and they have just about ruined everything we care for.

    • 484
      Synic says:

      Carry on trying to stop the introduction of secret courts.

      The present crop of M.P.s are hell bent on returning us to the Middle Ages, covering up State torture etc. Bastards.

    • 496
      Boggart says:

      Gladstone kept a wanking diary. It takes a special sort of weirdness to sit down and record every instance of knocking one out.

  97. 493
    Curly wonders says:

    Can Gwid explain how he pares a sage with millipedes?

    • 494
      Curly wonders says:

      oops, that should have been entered in the new post above. Will transfer forthwith.

      (All good for the advertising revenue figs…)

  98. 497
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Huhne will be spending his first week or so on an ‘induction wing’ where he will be isolated – that’s the process. Secondly he may well be transferred as is form for ‘celebrities’ to a softer prison before his induction is completed.


Seen Elsewhere

How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young


Zimbabwe-Election-125x125
Guido-hot-button (1)


Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious

“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”



Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives








RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads