February 20th, 2013

Happy Birthday Gordon

Best wishes to the Prime Mentalist as he turns 62 today. Twelve months without speaking in Parliament, £6,000 and more on air fares at our expense, £300,000-a-month in cash that is definitely not paid to him, an attendance record to be ashamed of, landing his successor in it, not to mention the worst of omens for His Holiness.

And that’s forgetting Gordon’s Olympic nightmare and his – shall we say – awkwardness at the Leveson Inquiry. To celebrate, why not enjoy his greatest hits one more time…


  1. 1
    Tuscan Tony says:

    He’s a good socialist.

    • 4
      The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

      Are we all suffering from a weird mutant form of Munchausen by proxy syndrome, though?

      • 13
        Anonymous says:

        Unlike Blair or Cameron he is an honest decent man. He made mistakes and he was forced to do thinks he didn’t believe in but he didn’t to that to enrich himself, his family or friends.

        • 19
          Is that you Gordon? says:

          Total bollocks.

          • Anonymous says:

            Gordon Brown shows all the signs of being on the Autistic spectrum.

          • SP4BS says:

            rubbish. he’s never even been to a star trek convention.

          • T'Old Fella says:

            Anon, could be, he seemed uncomfortable in company and his single mindedness and obessiveness, austism also shaped Einstien and many other famous people, the trouble with Gordy it just went badly wrong on his watch, he relaxed controls because the bankers said they could make more money by not sticking to well established lending rules besides the US was letting things rip

        • 30
          Steve Miliband says:

          He was a power crazy, self centred, obsessive maniac who’s whole aim in life was to become PM. When Blair beat him to it he festered in his own world of angst and turmoil, positioning himself to take over. Everything he did was calculated to get him into No10. He spent tax payers money at will to get as many people to vote Labour as possible.

          We will be paying for his narcissism for the next generation. However bad governments are, just remember Gordon Brown’s. Don’t let it happen again.

        • 34
          Ma­qboul says:

          You must believe in the fucking fairies as well. The guy was a bully, a liar and a narcissic twat. The only thing he cared about was Gordon.

          We should not be paying for this parasite’s wages.

        • 35
          Pappa Ratzburger says:

          Tony. I’ve only a got few days left if you want that beatification job done that you’ve paid for. Don’t forget I have to have your corpse available first.

        • 36
          Tuscan Tony says:

          He wasn’t decent enough to self-assess though, if he’d been more honest he’d have realised how manifestly unsuited he was to the position to which he aspired.

          As for the enrichment, you do know about his extensive property portfolio I presume? And his MPs salary and generous expenses, received and claimed for a role he really doesn’t seem to be fulfiling?

          • Anonymous says:

            Even the Labour upper politburo knew he was a barm pot bully and totally unsuitable to lead their party let alone the nation. The one act that Tony could have done to redeem some of the damage he had done was to have knifed McRuin in the back and made the Labour party have a proper leadership contest. That he did not just proves what self serving c_nt he is as well. The Blair/Brown Bubble years will go down as the worst peace time government in living memory

        • 111
          Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

          What planet are you on sunshine? The man is total ahole.

      • 129
        Fishy says:

        If Earl Perineum #57 posted that as a joke, I don’t think he realised how close he was to the truth.

    • 44
      Gordon Brown says:

      fuck off while I count my Toblerones

      • 77
        Gordon Brown says:

        I am looking at generating addition revenue with a vending machine

        A vending machine provides access to drinks and snacks 24 hours a day at the push of a button.

        Vending machines can offer a great way to generate additional revenue, or simply to easily keep your staff fuelled throughout their working day.

        Are you interested in a vending machine?

    • 87
      nmj says:

      The only good one is a dead one; he’s still breathing.

    • 135
      Tony Baliar says:

      Does socialist equate to total tosser?.

  2. 2
    Gordon Brown says:

    I Hope I get a Muffin The Mule from mummy Ashton, she did promise.

  3. 3
    Pollytwaddle says:

    Come off it, Guido.

    Be grateful he’s not doing any damage!

  4. 5
    SP4BS says:

    The whole curse business makes you sound a bit like a medieaval peasant. but then, so does following the pope.

  5. 6
    Brown never existed -- it was merely a nightmare says:

    Unfortunately the U.K. suffered badly because of the incompetence and malevolence of this deluded nutter.

    Instead of giving him endless publicity about his troughing idleness, he should be consigned to oblivion. Air brushed out of existence in the best Soviet tradition.

    Just ignore the fucker completely and move on.

    • 83
      T'Old Fella says:

      To be fair Gordy was reliant on his advisers, true he made the final decisions, but he is like a computer rubbish in, rubbish out. Gideon seems to have the same sort of problem with advisers, he like Gordy had no first hand economics training, so is reliant on his advisors feeding him with the right information.

      • 100
        Well, you did ask says:

        That’s because, according to what we read yesterday, most of them are still hardly out of nappies. Gideon needs to get people with proper experience of life in his team and get rid of all these still wet behind the ears know-alls.

    • 93
      My pension won't come back says:

      Air brushed out of existence … ? No, the history books must tell the truth as a warning to future generations.

  6. 7
    Paddy Briggs says:

    Not your finest hour Guido. Churlish. Bitter. Wrong

    • 18
      Anonymous says:

      It’s all he has to give.

    • 23
      Ma­qboul says:

      Unlike wishing the IRA to have killed him. That ain’t childish.

    • 29
      The Fifty Seventh Earl of Perineum says:

      Why gripe about Guido not having his finest hour when Gordon has had tens of thousands of such blatherskite periods?

    • 72
      T'Old Fella says:

      Paddy tha’s got t’ play t’crowd lad, Geedo’s got his crowd so that is what he does, and gets a pat on the head from Rupy

      • 89
        Plug says:

        Rupy was Gordo’s friend wasn’t he? Anyway, there is a story yet to be told about when the Labour leadership realised that the man was unstable, and why they allowed him to take power and do the damage that he did.

        • 108
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Either Rupee lied on oath or Gordo lied on oath or both of them lied on oath … watch the plod follow up the liars the perjurors like wot the did Archer … or will the pair of liars get the old blind eye medicine?

  7. 8
    Gordon McRuin (age 62) says:

    I’ve stuck some candles in my plip-plops but nurse won’t give me any matches. :(

  8. 9
    Owen Jones says:

    Gord did a much better job as Prime Minister than the present”one term” Prime Minister,David Cameron.

    Happy Birthday,Gord.

  9. 10
    Useless Dave says:

    Hi Spaddy. What photo ops. are there today? I’ve done being bowled out, and got the Duchess of Cambridge’s title wrong these last two days. What can I mess up today?

  10. 12
    Confucius says:

    Turds are Brown. Therefore Brown is a turd.

  11. 14
    WVM says:

    At least McMental believed in his failed ideology, no matter how warped, retarded & misguided.

    Cameron believes in nothing but “being” Prime Minister – & it ain’t half showing now.

    If Sahmeron could not win against a nutter like Brown last time, how on earth does he think he can win now the country has seen him fail & fail & fail again?

    Vote Ukip.

  12. 15
    Confucius says:

    Mark II for sensitive Moddybot.

    Excrement is Brown. Brown is excrement

  13. 16
    AntiLeftoid says:

    Haha.. look at ickle Owen defending his gweat big hewo.. Brown was an incompetent ass.. go back to writing you Chamsoc drivel Mr Jones.

  14. 20
    Residing in 96.99% white Merseyside says:

    I prefer to remember him in the days he was like Uncle Joe and not when he was Mr Bean.

    • 51
      A Doctor says:

      You would, however the delusional fantasy will wear off, if you get urgent psychiatric help.

  15. 21
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    If it’s Brown flush it down.

  16. 22
    John O'Farrell M.P. says:

    GiveGideon Gerge Oliver Osborne a break, what does a £1bn shortfall on 4G matter? He already has us borrowing £64bn more than planned

  17. 25

    Why do none of the thieving parasites raise this issue of his continued absence , with parliamentary standards or even the fraud squad ?
    Is it because they see this as normal behaviour ?

  18. 27
    Brent Fraser says:

    Thanks very much, Guido, for the latest instalment of the Gordon Brown Fan Club newsletter!

  19. 28
    anon. says:

    So there you have it.

  20. 31
    aussie rules says:

    I saw McMentalist in Dubai Airporty last Tuesday evening looking like a bag of shit in a tie in searing heat,he had been addressing that bastion of freedom and democracy the Dubai Forum no doubt for a fat fee.The people to blame are the fukcwits in Cowdenbeath who elected him and are unprepared to rid themselves of this loony parasite.Theres a saying that citezens get the politicians they deserve no doub thats why the UK is such a shithole

    • 96
      Di o'Rhea says:

      Our democracy has been totally subverted by crooks like Brown; that’s why the UK is now such a shithole.

      • 131
        Ethel Merman says:

        Couldn’t agree more.

        Sadly, it seems as though the blue marxist Cameron has jumped on the socialist bandwagon and is continuing the destruction started by Blair and Brown.

  21. 33
    Ed and Ed says:

    Wow! Look what we’ve got to look forward to. The pigs walk on their hind legs.

  22. 41
    John O'Farrell M.P. says:

    With no mandate, having hidden his health policy, Cameron abolishes NHS, which when he came in had highest ever public satisfaction rating.

    • 58
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      ++++Laugh+++++ “nhs had highest rates of customer satisfaction” ??!!

      Try using it on a regular basis and then see if you can still say that without feeling an idiot.

      You’re living on another planet from the rest of us who have to fight the nhs to get timely and appropriate treatment.

    • 68
      A Doctor says:

      The ‘hidden health policy’ you yap about John, is not so hidden as well you know.

      The coalition are merely implementing instructions given to them from elsewhere, just as Labour would have, if they had won in 2010.

      Something the cowardly Labour party and it’s useless cowardly MP’s, will not talk about.

    • 70
      (I don't need no doctor) says:

      Ask the relatives of those that died at Stafford Hospital. O’Farrell is the same has Burnham, a coward with no morals.

    • 118
      Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

      Been to Mid Staffs lately? No, thought not.

  23. 42
    T'Old Fella says:

    Another chancellor aims high and disappoints by missing his G4 auction by over a Billion 4G http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2013/feb/20/4g-mobile-broadband-auction-treasury, for all Gordy’s faults, and there are many, you cannot blame him for that Geedo

    • 64

      Osborne is a bigger wanker than Brown

      • 78
        A Doctor says:

        Not much between them actually. Brown was a deluded maniac who believed his own manufactured story. Osborne is simply an inadequate, who takes his instructions from even less adequate sources, just like his boss.

        • 103
          Happy crappy nappies R Us says:

          Don’t blab so much or we will lose the contract to supply all the spads’ nappy quotas.

      • 113
        Residing in 96.99% white Merseyside says:

        At least when Mr Brown was Chancellor we went through a purple patch up our way.

      • 119
        Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

        Hard to imagine sonny.

  24. 46
    The Brown Legacy.. says:

    A trashed country; a trashed economy; an impoverished people ; future generations burdened by debt

    • 115
      Residing in 96.99% white Merseyside says:

      I don’t feel impoverished what with my pensions, benefits and compensation.

  25. 55

    I wish him nothing but Pain , Suffering , Misery and a slow painful death

    • 61
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      Well I don’t wish to be an O’Farrell who seems to glory in other peoples death and illness.

      I would much rather he did the honourable thing and resigned his mp’s position so saving us the cost of paying him for doing nothing.

      But I think we’ve all long since learned that gordon does not have a decent honourable bone in his body. Its part of labours dna.

      • 121
        Residing in 96.99% white Merseyside says:

        I tried watching him in some film about Alexander the Great but after about 10 mins thought this is absolutely dreadful and switched off.

  26. 67
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    I wish Gordon Brown all the worst for many years to come. The most useless PM ever, a liar, a coward, and a cheat. A truly evil piece of work.

  27. 71
    but, but, but says:

    a mountain of coal floating on an ocean of oil surrounded by a sea full of fish so why the energy shortage ?

  28. 73
  29. 79

    Unemployment fell by 14,000 in the three months to December
    What a load of bollocks
    What it means in real terms is that all these companies set up at tax payers expense to get people off the dole , have yet again cooked the books , thus getting their enormous bonuses for hiding the truth from us
    a prime example was reported yesterday
    Costa coffee to open a new shop in Nottingham 1500 people applied for three full time and 5 part time jobs
    way to many people working a few hours and living on big benefits to make up the rest

  30. 82

    Look at the fuckin state of this , This ******** with eleven kids which she cannot ever have hoped to support to get a £400,000 house built for her


  31. 84

    I’d just like to wish the Buffty frae Kirkcaldy a happy birthday.
    May it be his last one!

  32. 86
    AntiLeftoid says:

    The sooner we cut ties with Brusselingrad the better.

  33. 91
    P l e b says:

    Somebody get Gidiot a new fag packet, he’s obviously run out of space on the back of the one he’s using now..

    • 92
      Dirge says:

      Perhaps Boy George should have asked Gordon Brown how to organise an auction.

      Brown managed to squeeze 10 times the amount of cash from the mobile companies with his great, clunking fist as Boy has managed.

      Boy’s great idea, the Office for Budget Responsibility, has excelled itself again. I have just been listening to John Redwood on Radio 4, beamed in from Pluto or somewhere, opining that the OBR has been an unmitigated disaster having continuously overestimated both economic growth and tax revenues.

      With friends like these…

      • 106
        Catty Comment (Ms) says:

        JR is one of the very few parliamentarians that actually understand what ‘economics’ means…

        … which explains why Dave will never have him as Chancellor.

      • 123
        Residing in 96.99% white Merseyside says:

        Yes, all those billions. I think I associate Mr Brown with that more than anything.

    • 95
      National Socialist says:

      Oh! Dear Tories, has your chancellor of simple sums let you down again? Never mind come 2015 you won’t have this embarrassment any more

  34. 97
    Piano wire says:

    Why this idiiot remains unhung is a mystery to many of us. Selling the gold, for example, was surely an act of treason.

  35. 98
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    I have seen more capable root vegetables than McMental. Perhaps vivisection might find a use for the incontinent manser?

  36. 99
    Anonymous says:

    The world would have been a better place if he’d never been born.

  37. 105
    Jilted John says:

    Gordon is a moron.

  38. 120
    Next Stop North Korea says:

    Lets hear it for the man who wanted to turn the country into a giant client State !

  39. 132
    Jimmy says:

    Can’t you just be happy about his honest and competent successor?


  40. 133
    Dear "Prudence" says:

    … we want our money back.

  41. 134
    keredybretsa says:

    He’s living a Alzheimer Free Zone!

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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