January 18th, 2013

Misery Index: Winter of Discontent

As parts of the country grind to a standstill at the first sight of snow, it is little surprise we are feeling sad this January. Detoxing, dieting, giving up alcohol – Guido calls them quitters – the New Year naysayers have been collectively bringing us down this month. Our increased misery may also have something to do with inflation being on the up, though at least unemployment is holding at 7.8%. Roll on February…

N.B. stats bods can check Guido’s adding up here.

121 Comments

  1. 1
    Emoticon says:

    :(

    • 7
      Anonymous says:

      Unemployment is going up as well. This is why benefits payments are going up.

      • 11
        Benny Fitz-Clements says:

        That’s why they’re capping my freebies. I’ve even had to cancel my second holiday.

        Mind you, last unemployment figures I saw showed the numbers falling. Are you really Ed Balls ?

        • 20
          Anonymous says:

          Unemployment is falling according to government. In the same time total benefits paid is going up as well, according to the same government.

          How can both the statements be true? Only way it could be true if part time and / or low paid employment is increasing while full time / well paid jobs are falling.

          • Sir William says:

            If the population of working age grows, it is possible for the percentage of people unemployed to fall, but the number of people claiming unemployment benefits to rise.

          • Putr1d Labour ruined my Country says:

            No it’s because benefits have gone up so much and whole immigrant families are also claiming.

          • Anonymous says:

            Sir William,

            Population between 18 and 65 is 38 million. According to Cameron 30 million are employed 2.5 million are unemployed.

            What happened to the rest of 5.5 million?

            They all cannot be students, disable or rich enough to stay at home. Also of the 30 million employed, nearly 30% are part time, many of them are looking for full time jobs or more hours.

          • Anonymous says:

            With plonkers threatening to take GB out of the EU, of course inflation is on the up. You ain’t seen nothing yet!

          • Callaghan Revived says:

            Both figures can be true because bennyfitz are going up while workers’ pay is capped.

            Pay attention.

        • 30
          T'old Fella says:

          He is probably right in that they call part time full time work so the figure is really much higher, the benefits start kicking in but they don’t count that. Retailers going bust this month and maybe more to come, retail has been going through a bad patch recently, now it is hitting the big boys some Christmas sales up but wait for the next quarter figures. You might think pole dancers or male strippers will have a few vaccancies advertised in that government arm The JobCentre, any takers, *illy

          • Anonymous says:

            Government never publish full time equalant employed, one has to wonder why?

          • Richard says:

            People on workfare aren’t counted as unemployed, which means governments can make the unemployment figures look better than they are.

            The Coalition claims that 500,000 jobs were created in the private sector, but it’s claims they included over 100,000 workfare roles in this.

            Private Eye also claims they started counting from March 2010, not May 2010 when they got into office.

          • Anonymous says:

            Richard, 100,000 you mention are on full benefits (they don’t get a salary). High proportion of the rest of the 400,000 are also claiming some form of benefits / tax credits.

            Cameron will never tell you how many of the 500,000 people are net tax payers. Some might be on more than one job, as they are part timers. So the total number of new employed are even less.

            The whole system is a joke.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            To all and of anony’s – the whole system is a joke – how about this

            It amazes me how year after year Governments (and the pitiful legions of financial hacks) trot out ‘average earnings’.

            In simple – you have say 10 people earning. one of them is a big over paid CEO – who gets say £500,000 PA. Then say there are the other nine who together bring in £500,000 PA. Each earns @£55,000. So ten people earn £1 million. – Divide a million by ten and you get £100,000

            How the average earnings indexs are manipulated – yet so many of the public fail to clock it and are fed it by the ‘free press’. [The above is of course a simplified version]

          • T'old Fella says:

            It depends which average you talking about mean, median (middle) or mode (most of) governments talk about averages but it they do not say which which average evenif they actually knew. Statistics are a good tool but it is like a bit like computers, rubbish in total garbage out, governments are very selective what they want included in their statistics so what they say can more or less be taken with a large pinch of salt.

      • 116
        Clive says:

        At least something is going up!

    • 8
      Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

      :)

      It could have been 12.83

    • 16
      MALC says:

      I VOTED FOR CAMERON IN 2010…WHAT A PRICK I AM.

  2. 2
    Herman van Rumboy says:
    • 100
      Blowing Whistles says:

      “Commissioned” and paid for by – The EU

      Statistics can be twisted for those who pay for the poll – Well blow me down … DOHHHH!

    • 119
      Callaghan Revived says:

      A better comparison would be between those countries who are net contributors.

      People vote for free money – wotta shocka

  3. 3
    alexsandr says:

    commuting in the dark is horrid. wait till there is some daylight after 5pm and peole will cheer up a abit.

  4. 4
    EU Watch says:

    There is a ray of sunshine from the South East:

    http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danielhannan/100198786/labours-inexplicable-support-for-the-unprogressive-undemocratic-elitist-eu/

    Always enough to bring cheer on a grey day.

  5. 5
    Kebab Time says:

    ” Detoxing, dieting, giving up alcohol – Guido calls them quitters”

    How many “quitters” in Guy News room?

  6. 6
    SOMEONE WHO IS OUT A LOT says:

    To the group of twats lost in the mountains of Scotland

    What a set of fucking brain dead idiots , i would make you pay every penny of the costs for all the emergency service that have to waste their time looking for you fresh air stealing wasters
    personally i would leave your rotting corpses there as a reminder to others who think they know best

  7. 9
    Camera on says:

    Nowt to do with me.

  8. 10

    Guido giving up alcohol?

    Quitters?

    I know it says gossip and tittle tattle at the top but come on! Give us something we can at least half believe in…

  9. 12
    Herman van Rumboy says:

    Why don’t you love EU despotism ?

    • 115
      Anonymous says:

      I am puzzled, how can everyone bar one be a net benificiary, that’s not real life. What really annoys me are the captains of industry saying how good the EU is – but they are the ones selling, the ones buying are the opposite but don’t have a voice

  10. 13
    David Brede says:

    Increases the need for Cameron to keep the hostage crisis at the top of the news and to keep the EU off it.

  11. 17
    Casual Observer says:

    So it looks like the attack on Amenas is having the desired effect:

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324468104578247850694190838.html?mod=e2tw

    What is Cameron up to today ?

  12. 19
    Or was he celebrating and pissed? says:
  13. 22
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    People are so defeatist at the slightest hint of an itsy bitsy bit of snow!

    I’m making bread tomorrow and taking my camera out for some photography. If youngnells is OK we’ll take the toboggan as well.

    Life’s too short to be miserable!

  14. 36
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    I’ve just seen a tramp shivering to death in the snow.

    “You look like you could do with warming up, mate. ” I said.

    “You’re not wrong,” he replied, through jittery teeth.

    So,being a compassionate Conservative, I pissed on him.

    • 39
      Labour voting soshial worker says:

      I stepped over a badly beaten tramp the other day. My exact words were “OMG the people who did this really need help”

    • 41
      SOMEONE WHO IS OUT A LOT says:

      He’s been pissing on all of us for two and a half years now

    • 90
      Rob says:

      I’ve just seen a tramp shivering to death in the snow.

      “You look like you need warming up, citizen” I said.

      “You’re fucking right mate”, he said.

      So, being a compassionate socialist, I walked past him, went home and wrote a furious letter to the Guardian demanding tax rises on the rich.

    • 120
      Shampain Socialist says:

      Ain’t no tramps in Tuscany honey chil

  15. 36
    SOMEONE WHO IS OUT A LOT says:

    With the pound at a nine month low against most currencies trade figures falling country sliding into a triple dip recession and we are about to lose our AAA rating . and Clueless Dave and Useless George at the helm
    i foresee another rise in the misery index next month

  16. 46
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    It is not over until the fat lady sings:

    Or in this case, the plant is razed ?

  17. 49
    Single snowflake says:

    Boo!

    • 51
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      All this fuss about snow! It was far worse in 1963 – nobody made a fuss about it then or shut any schools down.

      • 63
        Casual Observer says:

        It’s far worst in Jordan right now than it is here…

        http://www.trust.org/alertnet/news/as-snow-melts-syrian-influx-to-jordan-revs-up

        However, when our snow melts the influx of EU unwashed will likely rev up.

      • 65
        Englishman says:

        It was. But the issue these days are around transport: we are very much more car intensive outside Londonistan, and all our food comes from supermarkets that operat on ‘just in time’ delivery schedules.

        • 67
          Englishman says:

          issueS…

          • Englishman says:

            and operatE…
            I passed my driving test in 1963, in the snows, despite running the BSM A40 into the car in front while trying to park at the side of the Adelphi Hotel. Happy days!

          • Fiona Gangio from Fulham says:

            So did I!! I learned to, er, operate automobiles with the lovely Irishman Mr Doyle from BSM at the bottom of Tottenham Court Rd. My boxy A40 was bright green – and I passed first time!

            Ah those were the days when an inch or two of snow was something to look forward too.

        • 73
          The Department of Meteorohoroscopy says:

          Ah, just you wait until 2050, you’ll be sighing for a flake of snow then! Oh wait – is that right? Er…..well, you’re all doomed either way. Doomed, I tell ye! Doomed!

      • 70

        Quite right, nell.

        I was in Birdham, for that winter, which is on an arm of Chichester Harbour. The water is half a mile wide at that point and one of the locals drove his car across the frozen water from one side to the other.

        Before the AGW mob jump down my throat, I would remind them that the whole of southern England was tropical forest only a few thousand years ago with crocodiles, megalosauri, plesiosauri and iguanodon as inhabitants.

        • 80
          fnar fnar says:

          How they used to deal with the wrong kind of snow:

          • rebekah aka nellnewman says:

            BobCrow would never let his union men dig snow!!

          • T'old Fella says:

            Nowadays they say it is the wrong kind of snow, I wonder if the present super electric/diesel engines would perform any better, they haven’t had to deal with anything like that, with electrics cold freezing weather works wonders with electrical/electro mechanical devices.

    • 121
      Climbat O'logist says:

      Oh woe to us for there is global cooling global warming global climate change global stuff soon to befall us!

  18. 57
    P says:

    I laugh at the very idea that Britain spent trillions of pounds during the Cold War preparing for a war against Russia, given that a quarter inch of snow paralyses the entire economy for days at a time. Even more ironic for a country that is obsessed about the weather!

    • 76
      My Tinfoil Hat Is Chafing says:

      Weather, you say. But how do you know that the falling “snow” isn’t Russian paratroopers dressed as snowflakes?

      • 113
        T'old Fella says:

        You might have been reading too much government propaganda, they could be parachuting novice nuns or novice monks

  19. 61
    Lamest Tweet Ever from T'Graph says:

    - However, it certainly builds the case for global warming, doesn’t it ?

    • 105
      Blowing Whistles says:

      The next drought will be along any month now…

      • 114
        T'old Fella says:

        Come from spring onwards 3 weeks in a row of warm sunny days the warnings will come, they will start trading futures in water, London had better watch out.

  20. 68
    Cameron Spanking Time says:
  21. 71
    A thicko brainwashed ginger arsehole at Edinburgh University says:

    Jog on!

  22. 72
    Trebles All Round says:

    Gas market whistleblower sacked after accusing firms of price fixing…

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2013/jan/18/gas-market-whistleblower-sacked

  23. 77
    DAVE FAUNA and FLORA CAMERMONG says:

    Iwoke up early one bright Sunday morn
    To see an old tramp eating grass on my lawn
    I shouted “i say if you’d like a snack ”
    “The grass is so much longer around at the back”

  24. 79

    Trannyshambles

    Excellent article by Alеx Wіckhаm in The Commentator. Kudos sir.

  25. 82
    P l e b says:

    £1.8bn fines and orders outstanding

    4:11pm Friday 18th January 2013
    Press Association 2013

    Nearly £2 billion in court fines and confiscation orders remains unpaid, new figures show, and the Government has admitted it needs to do more to tackle the debt.

    The total value of outstanding fines and orders imposed at the end of the 2011-2012 period was £1.8 billion. Meanwhile, a total of just £484 million was collected from offenders in the period.

    More government ineptitude

    • 96
      DAVE FAUNA and FLORA CAMERMONG says:

      it used to be far worse ,a few years back , when i read it in the papers i was owed 250 quid from a scrote for 18 months after a court case .So i posted the article to the clerk of the court with a letter absolutely slagging the system off for it’s failing etc
      within 4 days i had my money

  26. 83
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The ptb are actively attempting to slowly make things appear as is if all manner of ‘doom’ is just around the corner [Excluding the obvious pun of Gordo Brownpants lurking]. The EU Monsters are attempting to slowly ramp up the fear factor of ‘oooh no, nooo, not good to leave the EU!

  27. 86
    Sleazy Tory Watch says:

    ‘Buddy’ scheme to give more multinationals access to ministers

    Controversial scheme which gives corporations privileged government access to be extended to a total of up to 80 firms

    • 88
      Hang the bastards says:

      Among the first wave of “buddied” firms were some which have been targeted by campaigners for paying little or no UK tax, or making “sweetheart” deals with tax authorities, including Google and Vodafone.

      So, companies who pay no tax get a stake in Government, despite not contributing. In the parlance of the Tory pronouncements smearing and villifying those on benefits, this sounds very much like a something for nothing culture.

      “There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people who have marched, written to MPs, gone on strike, protested and occupied over the cuts and privatisation which are devastating our lives,” she said.

      And the electorate, who the Government is supposed to serve, and who pay tax, are ignored. A nothing for something culture, perhaps.

      It’s not exactly a surprise. It’s exactly not a surprise. But it’s still the opposite of how Government is supposed to be run, and who it is supposed to be run for. And they have the nerve to talk about fairness as their policies are pushing up to a million more children into poverty – reinstating us as the country with the highest rates of child poverty in the developed world, as we were under Thatcher. But who cares about poor people of any age? They can’t afford to be buddies, right?

      The scale of the arrogance of this Government is matched only by its rapacious self-interest when toadying up to those with money.

    • 92
      Rob says:

      a useful bulwark against the unfettered access offered to nutjob leftist political groups and ‘charities’.

  28. 93
    IT WILL BE BLEAK IN SUNDERLAND IN 2013 WITH ONLY ONE FOOD BANK AND THREE USELESS LABOUR MPS says:

    The leaders of 6 of the biggest councils in England met today to discuss cuts in the public sector,they were accompanied by their spiritual advisors,clerics from the Anglican church who you would think had better things to do like preaching the Gospel.It wouldnt be unfair to ask them for the CofE to contribute some of their vast wealth rather than going to the begging bowl of the taxpayer.The money tap has been turned off what part of that do they not understand!

  29. 117
    Callaghan Revived says:

    Inflation would not be so bad if interest rates were going up along with it, but this is stagflation.


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Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”



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What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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