September 19th, 2012

Small Guido Win as Gove Launches Formal Investigation

This silly-season Guido decided to run on some rather niche, but important, local stories while Westminster was quiet. As a result the Department for Education have launched an investigation into the school scandal that shook the Isles of Scilly and Guido brought to central government’s attention.

Guido also understands that the Isle of Scilly council are set to face another investigation by the Information Commissioner for consistently refusing to acknowledge or act on Freedom of Information requests. Not least his own…

The days remaining for this tin-pot banana republic run by locally loathed council Chief Executive Philip Hygate seem numbered.

The £100,000-a-year dictator is at the heart of the whole mess.


  1. 1

    Soviet Socialist Republic of Scilly

  2. 2
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    Scummy wanker! I’m going to take him outside and shoot him in front of his family.

  3. 3
    Kokotoni Wilf says:

    Philip Hygate, more silly than Scilly.

    More scalps to hang on the offices of Guido Central.

  4. 4
    Ed Milibland says:

    It’th very hard to take anyone theriously if they come from the Thilly Ithleth, becauthe thaying “I am from the Thillieth” jutht maketh you thound thtupid.

  5. 5
    Ed Millitwat says:

    Thoviet Thothalitht Republic of Thilly

  6. 6
    Edinburgh junkie pensioner in the student union sticking the heid in the barman says:

    Well done Guido for getting this to a wider audience.

  7. 7
    the savant says:

    i recall harold and mary wilson had a holiday home in the scillies

    not sure what if anything that says really …

  8. 8
    Imman Jones says:

    Take the silver spoon out of your mouth Ed, we can’t understand a word you’re saying.

  9. 9

    Looking at the news, I am wondering what is going to happen when, inevitably, some journal publishes pictures of Mohammed’s tits?

  10. 10
    Thick as a Planck says:

    G will provide the cross-hairs shortly.

  11. 11
    Forkbender says:

    Guido you have informed on the godfather, check your bed in case there is a horses head in there, well done, do you think the islanders will make you an honoury Scillian

  12. 12

    Make him an Ofstead he can’t refuse.

  13. 13
    Forkbender says:

    I think they went there when he retired/his illness became too bad

  14. 14
    Thick as a Planck says:

    That’s approx 1.6billion x 2

  15. 15

    Maybe he could stack shelves at Trescos?

  16. 16
    Johann Hari says:

    Thoviet Thothalitht Republic of Thilly

  17. 17
    Hugh Janus says:

    I think Private Eye was onto this a long time before you Guido. Nice try though, anything that helps to expose Hygate’s bully-boy tactics has to be welcomed.

  18. 18
    Wislon says:

    I’m engraving that in my turn tomb.

  19. 19

    Have you been to Sicily BTW?

  20. 20
    Owen Jones says:

    Sovio socolick repub… place. No, it’s too hard for me.

  21. 21
    Terry Leahy says:

    He could be the chief bryher…

  22. 22
    ol compton street says:

    Scilly sausage.

  23. 23
    Wislon says:

    I’m buried there but Mary and I holidayed there for many years beforehand.
    Mary is still soldiering on.

  24. 24
    annette curton says:

    Gullivers Travels Pt. 6… Washed up on the Isles Of Silly.

  25. 25
    annette curton says:

    Keep away, shades of the Wicker Man.

  26. 26
    Stinking Rich Watch says:

    Multimillionaires eh.

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    A truck driver was driving along the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.”

    Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

    Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

  28. 28
    Oh! Monica says:

    Monica’s revenge: Lewinsky ‘to publish secret love letters to Clinton revealing his insatiable desire for threesomes and how he trashed Hillary’

    Read more:
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  29. 29
    Gooey Blob says:

    Isn’t that Labour’s conference slogan this year?

  30. 30
    Gordon Brown says:

    I was the third in the bed.

  31. 31
    keredybretsa says:

    Scilly or just daft?

  32. 32
  33. 33
    Edvard Leer says:

    There was a young lass named Cecily;
    An expert, she was, in bacilli.
    Her close friend Bathsheba
    Sent her an amoeba
    But she’d rather have had some Caerphilly.

  34. 34
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Get on yer bike, Jonesy!

  35. 35
    Sir William Waad says:

    Tresco – every little helps.

  36. 36
    Cetti's warbler says:

    ‘third’ ?

  37. 37
    Harold Wilson's Scilly Gardener says:

    It’s like Devil’s Island here

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Some Twat up North says:

    They won’t be as big as his nose

  40. 40
    ukiplocal says:

    The political class are itching to take full control of all islands around Great Britain, including Man and the Channel Islands. Why else do you think they constantly spin against them.

  41. 41
    Philip Hygate says:

    The “lost souls” of these islands know what happens to those who rebel– the Sayer Of The Law reminds them: “The House Of Pain!”

  42. 42
    The Dereham defalcator says:

    I’m hooked.

  43. 43
    Aunty Matter says:

    Channel 4 (BBC lite) giving us more lefty bollocks. They round up a load of mong like unemployed students then sit them in front of David Miliband and Stella Creasy (nice legs but dim)…but I didn’t see anyone from the Government, perhaps like the BBC, C4 still think Liebore should be in power?

    All these mong like students seemed to be of the same type, Media Studies or Economics students, like the Country needs more of those.

    You don’t come across many unemployed engineers do you? They never ask these students why they didn’t study something useful at university.

    Some dopey bitch moaned that she had a degree and couldn’t get a job in Sainsbury’s. I suspect they don’t need many economics students who think they are above shelf stacking.

    Miliband then spouted up that China and India are churning out millions of graduates every year…. yes but they churn out engineers, software writers, doctors and scientists.

    We turn out stoned lefty arts graduates all wanting to work for the BBC for 200K a year.

    Quite why anyone would ask a mong like Miliband for advice on getting a real job is beyond me.

  44. 44
    Some Twat up North says:

    That explains the stains!

  45. 45
    Fuck Islam says:

    Well they couldn’t print pictures of the tits of Mohammad’s wife, 7 year old girls don’t have breasts.

  46. 46
    John (Two Jags) Prescott says:

    By ‘eck thee has a big fuckin’ gob on thee lad eh?
    Try one of me latest creations, I calls it a “Pezzer Burger” ‘appen it’ll shut thee up for a for a minute or three.

  47. 47
    Sarah Braun says:

    I can now reveal our big secret.
    Gordon was a nexus-6.

  48. 48

    Obama will meet Aung San Suu Kyi.

    Because it helps Obama.

  49. 49
    nellnewman says:

    Problem is as well most of those meeja study grads got into those worthless uni courses on btecs and nvqs.

    No maths, science, languages, history, geography gcses or anything useful. That’s what 13 years of labour has done for us.

    Most of them can’t even spell. I’ve been fighting the system for several years because of falling standards and kids being pushed to the bottom of the pile rather than being encouraged to achieve something worthwhile under that worthless education minister bullyballs.

    Well Gove has finally got to grips with the diseased education system that labour bequeathed us and is putting it right.

    So now at least for the kids that come after the 1998-2010 debacle, there is hope.

  50. 50

    Oh dear. Yet more embarrassment for our Kate:

  51. 51
    Some Twat up North says:


  52. 52
    Some Twat up North says:

    Cat. Are you whiskas or Kittee Kat, or do you like the dried stuff. ie china white with Tuna..

  53. 53
    nellnewman says:

    Yep. Just like gordon courted obama because he thought it would help get him re-elected. Altho in gordon’s case he was wrong again.

    In obama’s case though I don’t think it’s Aung San Suu Kyi who’ll get him re-elected but mittromney with his foot permanently in his mouth.

  54. 54
    Some Twat up North says:

    Bet he doesn’t swim across her pond in the dark riidup

  55. 55
    Airey Belvoir says:

    I don’t think that students are very bright writing off retail as too lowly a career. For example, Asda starts its graduates on 40K and an Audi A4.

  56. 56
    nellnewman says:

    As I understand it the fight on the scillies is between the locals and their local govt chief who seems to think his grip on complete power is untouchable.

    Pride comes before a fall.

    Oh and well done Guido for keeping this clown in the public eye until someone does something about him.

  57. 57
    Educashon Edoocashon Educasion says:

    The 1997-2010 reign of terror will cast a long shadow in to the future.

  58. 58
    Some Twat up North says:

    That explains the mess

  59. 59
    Jethro says:

    ..behind the times , old son: at least fifty years ago, the saying was ‘Went [‘ee, understood] Scilly: come back daft.’

  60. 60
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    There is a lot hidden that will soon be in the public domain.

  61. 61
    nellnewman says:

    Yes it will – there are 1000’s of children out there who have been pushed into worthless btecs and nvqs and diplomas in photograohy and the like who struggle to even find part-time jobs in asda.

    Labour has much to answer for especially in their failed field of education and ruined lives.

  62. 62
    nellnewman says:

    I have sympathy with her but she was very unwise in appe@ring outside in such a state of undress.

    Even without the presence of a hidden photographer with long range lens she was exposed to servants and security folks who all have mobile phone/camera equipment and she should have known better.

    harry, after all had just found out the need for more circumspection. She should have learnt from it.

  63. 63
    annette curton says:

    I just hope we don’t get any revelations from Her Majesty and the Duke of Windsor.

  64. 64
    nellnewman says:

    I have sympathy with her but she was very unwise in appe@ring outside in such a state of undress.

    Even without the presence of a hidden photographer with long range lens she was exposed to servants and security folks who all have mobile phone/camera equipment and she should have known better.

    h @ rry, after all had just found out the need for more circumspection. She should have learnt from it.

  65. 65
    Jethro says:

    - ‘ee used to go there long before retirin’ (‘ee used to boast ‘ow everyone down ‘ere used to love ‘im: ‘Every time I get off the train at Penzance, a man rushes up to me shouting ‘Evening, Harold!’ ‘ -you’ve got to be local to understand this). In the Pub on St. Mary’s, ‘ee always used t’ave a half-pint of beer on the counter, so that, when a man with a camera come in, he could push ‘is Gin and tonic out of sight, and be pictured half-pint in hand… course, down ‘ere, only incomers and the floatin-gin-palace fraternity (Helford’s full of ‘em!) drink ‘alves…

  66. 66
    nellnewman says:

    No need to worry about Her Maj – In all her years as Queen she’s never put a foot wrong – not going to start now.

    Kate will learn.

  67. 67
    annette curton says:

    Has he had a circumspection?, looks through viewfinder x 40.

  68. 68

    Tesco pay a pretty median amount for their people.

    A bakery manager is on 27-30k
    Ordinary night manager 30-35k
    Senior manager/night manager – 60-80k
    Large Store manager -110-150k

    Its not banker’s and human rights lawyers salaries. But its still in the top 5%.

    Then there are the buyers/designers/advertising/ location/legal/transport/logistics/maintenance jobs.

    Stacking shelves is rung one. In a retail organisation usually up to half or more of the senior people in every department and sector have come up from rung one.

    And supermarkets have a lot more benefits than high street chains. Canteens. Restrooms. flexi hours.unions. clear progression and training.

    The C4 session didn’t look too bad. Some bosses telling it like it is.

  69. 69
    Doing The Cheap Dick Jokes says:

    But we didn’t get a chance to see whether he was circumspect or not, did we? The “Royal Sceptre” was out of view, FFS!

  70. 70
    Aunty Matter says:

    The problem was Creasy and Miliband spouting shit and C4 not pointing out to these kids (so the ones at home who might learn) that a degree in art or media studies won’t get you a job.

    University should be for the best to study for courses where a degree is part of the skill set required.

    I want the guy who designs the plane I fly on to have studied aeronautical engineering, I don’t care if the twat who reads the news, read art or not at uni or shoved charlie up their nose.

  71. 71
    Dibble says:

    That will cheer up the neighbours.

  72. 72
    Ed Ballsup says:

    Ah, but high (and rising) youth unemployment is purely the fault of “Evil Tory Cuts” (c) 2010-2012 Labour Party.

    Nothing to do with Labour insisting that Schools Must Not Produce Winners (c) 1997-2010 Labour Party.

  73. 73
    Pickled wizard says:

    A speakers wife name of Sally
    Stripped in a gypsy man’s chalet
    you could hear the applause
    when she dropped her drawers
    and the hair on her head didn’t tally

  74. 74
    annette curton says:

    That’s what you think, I’ve got valuable footage.

  75. 75
    make mine a large one says:

    Never could keep her mouth shut.

  76. 76
    Pickled wizard says:

    you need to look further – Cornwall (comedy) county council and the isles of scilly published a statistic – 50 – 60% of council employees, in 2011, were in the pay bracket £46,500 – £57,500. What pisses me off more than somewhat is that I have to pay council tax to pay these salaries.

  77. 77
    Shopping at Tesco makes me want to kill people. Namely the people who run Tesco. says:

    A bakery manager is on 27-30k
    Ordinary night manager 30-35k
    Senior manager/night manager – 60-80k
    Large Store manager -110-150k

    Good grief, they offer all that money and they still only manage to attract mongs.

  78. 78
    Pickled wizard says:


  79. 79
    Some Christian up North says:

    You were good on Chnnel 4 news tonight… OOPs sorry that was your Brother Faisal lol sorry

  80. 80
    Barack Obama says:

    Dare to hope! Hope to dare! We are change! I, for instance, am a quarter, while Vice-President Whatsisface is a nickel! Mah fellow Amurrikins, we are the future! And ah say to you, this is our country! Our homes and fields and offices and factories! Our impeccable dental work, our suits, our pants or, of course, our skirts; Our underpants and our pantyhose! Yes, ah say to you, underwear you can believe in! God bless America!

  81. 81
    nellnewman says:

    Youth Unemployment ran at it’s highest level EVER during the 1997-2010 Reign of Terror – why was that?

  82. 82
    Oil says:

    Fucking great to have Dallas back. JR Ewing is my rolemodel.

  83. 83
    nellnewman says:

    I’m not sure why but his tv character so reminds me of bliar!

  84. 84
    Some Twat up North says:

    Better class of mong at Morrison’s apparently. Alan Hanson cant be wrong

  85. 85
    Some Twat up North says:

    Diana did lol

  86. 86
    Oil says:

    Please. Bliar is a charmless wretch who ruined millions of lives. JR’s got charisma and he only goes after business rivals.

  87. 87
    Saffron says:

    Suggestion to Kate,sorry love however you might not like it,you are now in the public eye compliments of the avarice of the MSM in their quest for CASH.
    Take my advice,make sure that your privacy is absolute privacy because this gang of cash hunters will stop at nothing,including unforseen death to gain cash.

  88. 88
    Saffron says:

    Supermarkets are the worse thing ever to appear in this land,that is apart from lying corrupt politicians.
    Producers are being nailed to the cross by the supermarket crimminals in their quest for bigger profits for their shareholders.
    In my case I have for some time spent my money in supporting local shops,yes it costs me a bit more but I do go to bed thinking that I have supported our local economy.

  89. 89
    domino316 says:

    Small potatoes compared to the Department of Health allowing Primary Care Trusts to offload their Community Health Services to private “Community Interest Companies / Social Enterprises” created by former management of the same services, offering “guaranteed contracts” if a “right to request” application was successful.

    Not only did the DoH ignore national and EU procurement law by not putting them out to tender, but a good case could be made that they “induced” (read bribed) the said same management to choose that route on the basis of secure contracts and nice fat pay rises.

    Gloucester PCT got caught out doing the same thing, only changing the procedure as part of an out of court settlement prior to the start of a judicial review, and that was a £450 million contract.

  90. 90
    War Criminal Watch says:

    Indeed, and in the grand scheme of things JR doesn’t exist.
    Sadly the same can not be said of Mr triple six head.

  91. 91
    ModBot says:

    Down here again nell.

    Fuck knows why?

  92. 92
    NE Frontiersman says:

    That probably excludes all the front line grunts who do what we would normally think of as ‘the work’, because they’ll all be employed by agencies.

  93. 93
    Clegg says:

    Please vote for me, please please! *cry*
    *sniff* I’mmm sorry it was WRONG! *sob* I shouldn’t have promised that!!
    *Whaaaaaaaar* There was no money left!!

  94. 94

    I know you are going to find this hard to swallow but my favourite meal is a peppered steak.

  95. 95
    David Milibanana says:

    The odd Brazilian Wandering Spider, for example.

  96. 96
  97. 97
    Los Chicos says:

    Yankee go home

  98. 98
    Walthamstow says:

    My local shops and especially the market usually work out cheaper than Tescos, Sansbury’s, Asda and Lidl. Most of these companies have ‘basics’ type ranges: but even these still work out as more expensive. Any of their meat or deli products can be bought considerably cheaper elsewhere, and they deliberately set out to make price comparisons difficult for much of the frech fruit and veg, which is often not all that fresh or tasty anyway. Many of the offers are bogus, caused by fictionalising previous prices and then pretending to take money off. This is especially so in the booze aisles.

    The attraction is mainly in the illusion of time saved not going from shop to shop and speaking to human beings, but by the time you have factored in the queues at the checkout (which are increasingly self service anyway) and in and out of the car park, they don’t save all that much of that either.

  99. 99
    The Golem says:

    The owl would have made a better job of it.

  100. 100
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    Socialist Republic ruled by Millionaires – bit like Britain under Labour then

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