September 11th, 2012

Grant Shapps’ How to Guide for CCHQ Team Reshuffles

Have you ever landed a fancy new job and then got stuck wondering just how you are going to reshuffle the team below you? Well fear not, internet guru Grant Shapps has just the solution for you. Watch with amazement as the new Tory top dog announces his beefed up team:

Deputy Chairman:

  • Sarah Newton MP

Vice Chairmen:

  • Alok Sharma MP – BME Communities
  • Richard Harrington MP – Campaign Finance
  • Bob Neill MP – Local Government
  • Michael Fabricant MP – Parliamentary Campaigning
  • Nicola Blackwood MP –  Social Action
  • Geoffrey Clifton-Brown MP – International Affairs
  • Alan Lewis – Business
  • Andrew Stephenson MP – Youth

With rebellious LibDem getting promoted, note Blackwood and Clifton-Brown keep their jobs despite voting against the whips on Lords reform. No such luck for Conor Burns and Angie Bray…


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Fell sorry for Conor Burns. he seems ok.

  2. 3
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    A shower of sh*te.

  3. 5
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Many hours after Guido ran the story, the BBC play catch up. But then they forgot that Deadwood Miliband was snapped with one of the happy buyers.

  4. 6
    • 14
      Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

      This cannot be allowed to happen. The BBC is fantastic value for money. Where else can you get such fantastic programming, news, documentaries, drama and a myriad of radio stations, plus massive online archive material for just over £12 a month?
      The British people are rightly and justifiable proud of this world-renowned institution, which sells its programmes all over the world.
      Yes there are lots of people in there who earn far too much, and in this age of ‘we’re all in it together’ this should now be reversed, but I have every confidence in the new Director General.
      The BBC also needs to curb its bureaucracy a little bit, but it is still a world-beater. We should celebrate it as a beacon in a field if advert-induced X-Factor Murdochian dross.

      • 17
        jgm2 says:

        The BBC is fantastic value for money.

        So make it a voluntary subscription.

      • 29
        SP4BS says:

        “trade your way to the USA”. what on earth can that be about.

        I’ll be watching Sarah Beenie tonight. Not for the obvious reasons. much.

        However, her programs do give you a sense of where Britain is going wrong. I used to think “property ladder” was crap without watching it back when the bubble was growing, but if you paid attention she was often pointing out that people were being dicks.

        “Double your house for half the money”. uh oh. that is actually official conservative policy.

        • 34
          Gordon Brown says:

          There was no bubble. The economy really was growing and I wasn’t just borrowing 2%, 3%, 4% of GDP during the boom years to pay the one million public sector workers I recruited back in 2001. It was all real. And it only ended because the banks wouldn’t lend even more money to people who had no hope of paying it back. And that’s all America’s fault.

          The entire ‘boom’ was real and built on sound economic grounds. The bust was entirely unrelated to the boom. Nobody could have seen it coming.

          Look over there – ideological cuts.

          It wasnae me.

      • 30
        Woody says:

        Clearly deranged or waiting for the huge BBC pension

  5. 8
    Moussa Koussa says:

    The DIE WITCH T-shirts are sold out everywhere. Guido can you find out if the company who make them will be completing another print run. I have 14 pre-orders already.

  6. 9
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Has TREVOR KAVANAGH been arrested yet.

  7. 10
    Freddie Fraudster says:

    A collection of non-entities

  8. 15
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    A post about Grant Shapps. How boring. This will be my only contribution to this thread.

  9. 18
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Talking of Gwurant Shhnaps…You didnt have a thread about Grants Wikipedia page…Seems most of it is a load od Boll*cks, edited by “”himself””…..LOL

    • 47
      Shall I go or shall I stay says:

      Shapps is the cousin of Mick Jones, a former member of punk rock band The Clash.

  10. 20
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am a big fan of the five knuckle reshuffle

  11. 21
    SP4BS says:

    I see that Mr Schnapps thinks we should take out loans to buy jetskis.

    How neoendogenous of him.

  12. 22
    lame & feeble says:

    Grant Shapps can jog on.

  13. 24
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Guido has also failed to note, that all the latest electoral opinion polls, published in the last 48 hours show Tory support falling even further than before The Summer Of Call Me Dave.

  14. 38

    Freddie the Fraudster beat me to it!

  15. 51
    Rupert my Hero says:

    How many MPs have committed Adultery… Statistics Please.

Seen Elsewhere

From the IRA to Windsor Castle | WSJ
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
Mo Ansar’s Silence | Adrian Hilton
Gove Loses WWI Battle | Conservative Woman
5 Reasons Labour Likely to Win General Election | Sunny Hundal
Dave Surrounded By Topless Women | Sun
UN Loony says Britain Most Sexist Country | Sun
Farage is a Good Reason to Leave the EU | Dan Hannan
UKIP Blocked Expenses Questions | Times
NHS Showdown Coming | Paul Goodman
Sons of Brown | Telegraph

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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