Guardian Comes Out for Cuts
Rusbridger to Beg Staff to Quit
Apparently Alan Rusbridger has had a change of heart and is getting ready to declare that cuts are “essential”. No, not to the size of the state or the spending budget, but to the ailing Guardian Media Group. Guido hears that this year’s publishing losses will be up on the £38m lost last year with a £40m figure being banded about. A staff meeting is scheduled for tomorrow with managers set to beg more editorial staff to take voluntary redundancy before the axe comes out…
Since when has hypocrisy ever bothered those at Guardian towers?
Aren’t half their ‘journalists’ effectively volunteers these days?
Polly Tuscany must be amongst the few of ‘em actually getting paid.
Sack half of them and make them enrol as security staff for G4S.
P.S. Can these ‘journalists ‘ speak English ?
Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch…
BBC Headline
The Guardian to close due to evil Tory cuts. Rushbringer blames Coalition. Our Media Correspondent blames capitalism.
The Gurdian are cutting too far, too fast. They must invest for growth, making use of their printing presses.
I don’t understand
Why don’t the Guarndian Group just invest more to make up for the losses?
There must be some untapped sources of borrowing they have not looked at
Taxpayer funded bail out
( far to big to fail )
Is it still going?
Since they are all going to have to grow their own vegetables in order to survive, perhaps Rusbridger could produce a Stile Guide.
The NHS blood supply service is about to be privatised (about time too, bunch of idle lefties expecting me to give blood for nothing) so there’ll soon be a useful source of income for down-and-outs cast off by the Guardian.
Redundancies at the Guardian? Serves ‘em right – they didn’t care when every single person at the News of the World was made redundant. Even though it was all their fault. If it hadn’t been for their loony-left poking and prying I’d still be able to read about my favorite celebs on a Sunday morning. That Sun on Sunday is a load of rubbish compared with the NOTW.
They can’t print money, unlike the government.
active Mars….thought you said laid….not paid. money talks. ha.
But why is Dave going to make Hague the Chancellor when he has a man who can? Ken Clarke is that man.
Simple…Hague only agreed to return to front line politics uinder “Dave’s” leadership if he could have the Foreign Office brief both in Opposition and Government. He might just be persuaded that it was in the “national interest” if he were to accept the Chancellorship of the Exchequer but he would I think not consider anything else.
Then you would have to do something with Osborne who is extremely senior within the party and would not accept something seen as demotion so the only alternative would be the Foreign Office if Hague agreed to move.
Rather than Ken Clarke being moved to the Chancellorship I suspect rather that he will be moved from Justice and offered some role such as Leader of the House. Cameron’s options are limited and I suspect that in fact all main offices of state will remain unaltered and that you will only have a re-shuffle at Minister of State leve nothin morel
Oborne may be senior but there is no escaping the fact that he is useless as Chancellor. But I have a sneaking suspicion that this is because Dave is a crap PM.
First thing though is to stop this foreign aid nonsense and EU funding.
.
maybe bliar is right (or was that left ha)…
the success of a chancellor is by chance. with that in mind, the job of a chancellor is political……and O is political.
They’re all rather shit. Everyone in politics is.
a guido island is a good idea. but that requires……a can.do. want.to.do. and it.is.the.purpose.of.my.life attitude.
.
.
it is a way of living your life in your way and away from the pull of useless blahblahblah.
Problem is that most potential Guardian readers can’t read and those who can can’t read English.
Too far, too fast.
As Yvette tried to say, but produce only a strangulated groan.
produced, FFS.
Gweeds, can we have an editor? I know you disdain such a thing for your posts, but for the punters, I mean.
It’s Grocer’ Neo’ who is the culprit. Send him on one of those remedial English courses run for the Somalian goat herds, Guido.
For those who care to see, there is an edit function. It appears in the box marked “Preview” wherein one can check what will appear before rushing into print. Give it a go, why don’t you?
Yea but a pair of legs I’d like to get in between, whoooor
try shaking his hands….he is a crusher….having said that…it may well the missus…who wears the trousers.
You are impugning my intelligence. Blinking idiot.
quis custodiet ipsos custodes
The axe should chop off the head of this disaster.
The crappy Guardian.
Wonder if the Editor will take a pay cut? Guess not…
HAHAHAHAHAHA !!
Knowing the Guardian, staff will get P54 notices!
Zing
Most of the staff will get P38s, mainly because they only do fillers!
How will the BBC fill the gaping hole where they ‘interview’ Guardian reporters as ‘experts’?
Fear not, they are very good at filling gaping holes.
And now over to the River Pageant with our Monarchy experts, Dick and Dom
One thing that has always puzzled me is that if pretentious, left wing middle class preaching is unpopular, why do people who espouse such views hold such sway in opinion forming sectors of society?
I refer you to this gent:
A great man, I urge anyone with a brain to watch and read anything by him you can find.
“Opinion forming sectors of society”
Is there such a thing? Or are they merely the shrill, sanctimonious guardians of ‘acceptable’ opinion, ie the approved list of left-wing platitudes that you must utter on demand if you want to avoid being sneered at and accused of being little more than a xenophobe/racist/right-wing E*D*L B*N*P loon/Tory scum/nazi/all the above.
It’s a cheap flimsy trick folks. Once the little boy notices the Emperor is stark bollock naked there will be a biiiig bout of cultural bloodletting as people vent the years of frustration at not being allowed to speak their minds.
If the Guardian’s world view was widely held it would not be in the same circulation league as the Lincolnshire Echo.
Look in to my eyes , not around my but into my eyes .
Your going into a deep sleep , when you wake you’ll remember nothing but the BBC
Rusbridger is an anagram of busdriver
Rids Anal Burger
Busrridger.
Hear it here first!
Rusbridger to take a salary cut as an example to his staff.
NO CHANCE.
Will he borrow from the Co-op bank to pay for redundancy payments to his staff?
Toady Programme, World at One, and other BBC biased radio news editors and presenters now quaking in their Prada’s as they realise their main outlet on losing their jobs is now not so viable.
Imagine: They get into work, check the day’s papers and find.. there’s nobody there to give an editorial lead.
Nothing buffers them from the unremitting stream of incoming agency feeds.
Those who follow Doctor Who will become aware of what it feels like to stare into the heart of the Tardis. For all of them, the void has opened and they are in a world of chaos.
Let me at the Guardian Group– I know how to downsize and streamline money-losers! Remember, I’m the guy who looks to see who’s not producing, because I enjoy firing the deadweight in organizations! The Grauniad will be my biggest challenge– so many places I could start; I guess I’ll just have to go and pick one at random!
1. Fire the lot of them except one copy-writer but keep up the AP and Reuters subscriptions.
2. See if there is any difference.
3. Adjust staffing levels accordingly.
Rename it The Grauniad, and fire the spel chequing editerz.
The BBC has reduced its star pay by £9.5m, spending just over £203m in the last financial year on salaries for its presenters and “talent”.
The BBC’s annual report revealed 16 individuals were paid more than £500,000 in the financial year 2011 – 2012, three fewer than the year before.
Meanwhile, director general Mark Thompson earned £622,000 in the last financial year – down from £779,000.
He earned 15 times more than the median pay of a BBC employee.
Thompson is stepping down from his role in September and will be succeeded by the BBC’s current director of Vision, George Entwistle.
He will be paid significantly less – £450,000 in his first year.
But not by me.
“director of vision”, what pompous tosh!.
Our job titles are a clear indication of what we do. If you do not understand that is your problem.
Mark Thompson might have received £622,000, but he didn’t earn (i. e. deserve or work for) a penny of it.
Maybe the BBC could use its tax money to help. Why should TV get tax support and not newspapers? That’s a relic of the old days when it was broadcast and there was limited bandwidth (or is it still largely broadcast in the UK? Cable came to Canada decades ago due to sparse population density. Of course our CBC still gets tax money too…)
Circulation of ‘The Sun’ = 2,611,838
Circulation of ‘The Guardian’ = 214,703
Rushbridger must cry himself to sleep every time he’s reminded of these figures.
Yeah, but what an influence those 214,703 have over the running of the country and don’t forget one in ten probably works for the BBC and the others in the public sector with a very high proportion brainwashing – I mean teaching – our young.
And his journo staff is full of tits and bums as well.
And yet it informs all of the political reporting at the BBC, the UK’s media monopoly.
Paid for by you and me upon pain of imprisonment.
Yet absolutely nothing is done about this organisation.
So, don’t pay a license fee and write to your MP, demanding the bbc is turned into a subscription service, on the grounds that it is effectively labour party radio and you decline to pay for it.
The Guardian thinks the Sun revolves around its anus.
anusbridger ?
The Guardian is a complete shambles.
They have been advised by Labour to invest some more money through borrowing and to Tax the Bankers to pay for everything. It is the fault of light touch editing and it started in a merry car.
highly recommended.
Surely they should choose growth over austerity? Rubridger should have a quiet word with Balls since he probably knows where the Labour money tree is located. Then they can invest billions in new Guardian projects, create more Guardian jobs and hire additional Guardian staff. And if they publish a multi-lingual edition to promote the multi-culturalism they love so much they could hire new staff from all over the world cheaply, thus contributing even more to the vibrant diversity of the UK.
I like the cut of yer jib sir
“this year’s publishing loses will be up”
‘losses’
Presumably Rusbridger will be taking a cut in salary.
This is Casino journalisium ?
Then it should be broken up .
retail & investment journalisium should be separated
Oh yeah bung the editor a a nice pay off when the bail out get signed off
he’s worth fifty journalists.
The Guardian is not the guardian of it’s workforce. The Guardian is the guardian of Rusbridger’s high salary.
With a card saying “I brought the O£umpics to £ondonistan!”
What about motorists being fined £130 for driving in the M4 “Olympics Lane”?
Let me get this straight – a motorist, who buys a car with salary that has been double taxed (income tax and National Insurance tax), and who pays tax on the car with money that has been double-taxed, and then buys road tax with wages that have been double-taxed, and insurance (including tax) from double taxed income and then fills the car up with fuel that is double-taxed (fuel tax and value added tax) out of money that has already been double taxed, that motorist then drives the car, legally, onto the public road and gets financially raped by Camoron with a £130 fine (paid for with wages that have been double taxed).
And this same David Camoron is the very same despicable political maggot who used to condemn Labour for “fleecing motorists”?
You ghastly oiks are all in it together.
Don’t worry. The War on the Motorist is Over !
Is it true that John Reid, former Leiber Defence Secretary, and now in the House of Lords, has something to do with G4S [or whatever the hell it's called!]. I think he’s a Director, or some such.
Guido, can you please start digging, as I think the last Leiber Government gave this security contract to G4, when they ‘won’ the Olympics bid. Tar very much!
Say it’s not so.
I never miss the Guardian.
Whats all of the fuss about the Guardian’s major patron the ever dominant “Biased Broadcasting Company aka BBC” will step in & help them in everyway possible including bundles of Licence Payers legally extracted dosh…..
The Beeb has plenty of dosh to spray all over the place to proper-gate all the left wing bile it continues to dump everywhere 24/7 as it pursues its Mission….
of getting ZanuLieLabor & Ed Milliepeed The Minor back in TOTAL control again….
aided & abetted by the Heir to Bliar, CMD, The Bullington Boy Toff who’s expertise is mendacity everystep of the way to his main project at the heart of EUSSR.
How odd. Surely, in Guardian-land, the solution to increasing debt is to go on a spending spree?
Works for me – every time!
Yes this is the correct course of action & is something I will always advocate for ever more, its the only sensible way forward……..
Highlight 1. 100m Grenade Throwing
Highlight 2. Sever the neck – speed test
Highlight 3. Stone the Crow
Not forgetting Speed grooming of 12 year old girls
The Afghan ladies Olympic team has arrived at Heathrow
http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/files/2012/05/Burqa-ed_throng.jpg
Jeezus, what a lot of shroud wavers they are!
And the 32-mile M4 crawl.
(Just think of all the extra fuel that’s been burned, and the additional economy-wrecking fuel-duty Camoron’s been able to grab..)
The new phrase for my parties total failure to monitor security recruitment for the Olympic Farce is
“Back- Fill Olympic Security” sounds good eh ?
like we knew it was going to happen all along
Toodle Pip !
F#CK OFF TO NEVER NEVER LAND!
You ain’t NEVER gonna be nothing!
You ain’t NEVER gonna do nothing!
You ain’t NEVER gonna achieve nothing!
[Apols for double negs - but Cameratwat would understand them - ]
And to think, it was only wome weeks after I raised the issue of potential ruture riots if we had a long hot summer this year (mainly on tritalk) that we were told plans were being made to supplement the security. Still I am not sure if taking people out of jobcentres for a month and telling them to be security guards is really the best way of ensuring well motivated security assets (I mean back to the dole afterwards). For work experience – yes – but for important security issues!!!!!! I actually feel more secure that the military have stepped in – at least they are motivated. Mind you as the chance of a long hot summer are pretty much gone the risk has diminished dramaticly.
We could still have a long hot summer , just depends on how much plutonium the muzzbots get their hands on !
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paragraph
point taken
Spending = Investment
What the problem?
The more you spend the more you invest = more returns
The Guardian need to employ Gordon Brown to sort them out
He would be great at writing headlines
With his biggest boldest Crayon
The Guardian is tedious with its half baked ideas, endless innuendo and brainwashing. No wonder its profits is going down the shitter.
♫♪ Polly put the kettle on ♪♫
♫♪ Polly put the kettle on ♪♫
♫♪ Polly put the kettle on ♪♫
♫♪ And work for free… ♪♫
Polly put your face mask on
Polly put your face mask on
Polly put your face mask on
You ugly C*nt
Racist!
Facist
ist
She may be a c*nt. A fu*king c*nt even. But she is definitely not black. Oh no sir, not black at all. Not even a teeny weeny bit. ( was that alright sir ? ).
Instead of exploying expensive journalists why don’t they just employ a bunch of unscrupolous techies to cut’n'paste stuff from the internet passing it off as their own?
+1
Works for the Daily Telegraph.
+ 1 million
Just move the £38m loss off the balance sheet. Problem sorted
These are not cuts Fawkes, these of investment opportunities. No-one is losing their job, they are simply taking a life-long sabbatical career change…. yes that’s it!
Might this be connected to the fact that the latest figures show that Guardian circulation has fallen by 17%? It seems only fair that after they have put so many profitable NI journalists out of jobs that bile-filled Grauniad hacks should suffer the same fate.
Why is readership falling whilst the population is sky-rocketing ?
They will not let you advertise bush meat
Carp ponds depleted, they don’t throw them back.
Thank you, that was excellent.
Because the Grudian isn’t printed in Arabic?
Because it’s shite?
Maybe if they did a Somali edition it would make up the numbers?
This week – and every week – a full colour supplement on how to claim benefits.
Dan there is a sure fire way the Guardian can get itself back into profit. That way is recognising the true strength of your product. If the Guardian stopped trying to promote itself as a newspaper and played to it’s strength as superior cat litter then they will make a fortune. I’ve got four cats and they just love pissing all over the Guardian and its so much more socially useful than having people read the thing.
For Sale
Soviet era media group. One careful owner (other 5 didn’t give a shit). Very economical only uses £38m a year, runs
into groundlike a dream.Full Intern service history
Includes plates for Zil lane
May not comply with emissions controls.
However very tax efficient.
Just look what me and Nick have achieved in two and a half years
Don’t do it, brave Grauniadistas. Tell Rusbridger to eff off. There is another way!
All Grauniadistas take a 40% salary cut and you break even. OK, your bourgeois lifestyles will take a hit, but everyone keeps their job! Viva la revolucion!
But think of the knock-on effect in the Tofu knitting industries?!?
Actress Shona McGarty was approached by security guards in the Watford supermarket branch after ‘smearing herself suggestively’ with the yoghurt while messing around with her boyfriend and co-star Matt Lapinskas.
The 20-year-old had attracted the attention of other shoppers with her antics, one of whom complained about her lewd behaviour.
‘It was disgusting,’ a source told The Sun. ‘The man was opening up pots and looked as if he was throwing it around. ‘Then the girl started to smear it over herself in a suggestive manner.’
Its a good cure for yeast infections.
Wasn’t the first time i splashed my yohurt on her !
Bit of a fat cow.
Nothing wrong with a few curves CRMM. Funny I thought she was a bit on the skinny side myself.
It was a sauce that told the Sun.
The culture of youth
I wonder if Shitbridger would ever sack his sprog, Isabella?
Are you suggesting nepotism is in play at Guardian Towers? Surely not!
Anyway he won’t sack the smug little airhead. She’s far too useful at barging into CiF threads where the opinion of the mob isn’t following the Guardian line and correcting people.
What’s a “sprog”?
sprog=child. possibly a jocular corruption of ‘offspring’
I’m sure that she was given the job solely on merit and that no fellatio or coprophagia was involved.
Bella says she’s been in ‘very important meetings’ this morning…
Ooooh!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jul/16/you-tell-us
Alan: Sorry Bella but you’re going to have to work as an unpaid intern from tomorrrow.
Bella: Oh but Daddy…. [sob!]
Alan: Never mind pumpkin, Daddy will increase your pocket money to make up for it.
Isn’t Alan (Make mine a pair of Birkenstocks) Rusbridger a classic example of ‘reward for failure’?
Quite right too!
We can’t have winners…
`
Good job to you and Macca were shite
Please go to my Twitter page and click follow
we’re all great at pissing other peoples money against the wall!
Just a thought.
If it wasn’t for the slave ships, I wouldn’t be on the Gravy Train.
Rupert Murdoch should buy it. He’d make a profitable in no time.
Yes, he could change its name to ‘News of the World’ – and then have to close it down.
Since no-one is buyying their pape, they could try selling t-shirts instead
http://dailymash.shotdeadinthehead.com/product_view.aspx?pid=1573
What about the axe chopping through, managers and the editors salaries first.
all those lowly paid reptiles shurely wont cost much to sack … but then socialists never make anyone, no matter how useless, redundant otherwise Polly would have been out on her ear years ago!
Redundancy could not happen to a more deserving bunch of Hunts than the Guardian’s writing and editorial staff.
In reality the Guardian should have died the death it has worked so hard to earn many years ago now, it is no more than a lefty vanity publishing project these days, with a nasty sideline in racism against Jews and giving a platform to Islamic Fascists.