June 21st, 2012

Shadow Schools Minister Kevin Brennan Fails Maths Test

Shadow Schools Minister Kevin Brennan had a mathematical nightmare in the Commons earlier, telling the House that three out of ten equalled 60%. Things only got worse for the Labour man, who then laughably accused his opposite number of being “not very good at maths“. It’s back to the classroom for him…


  1. 1
    Ha says:

    You seem suprised.

  2. 2
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Aha, he’s been flushed out as as a very stupid man. Hansard will record his bungling for eternity!

    I’d never heard of him before, now his name will be forever linked to incompetence.

    Mind you I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s snapped up by Labour’s Treasury team. He’s seems so bad with numbers that he’d be a good fit with Ed Balls.

  3. 3
    SSC says:

    A Labour shadow minister that can’t do basic Math – why should we be surprised..!

  4. 4
    Tooth fairy says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha You just couldn’t make it up.

    Oh yeah there was that other joker that tried to tell us there was a 0% increase….hahahahahahahaha

  5. 5
    Jimmy says:

    Mere deflection. No comment yet from Cameron on Tory donor Barlow and his tax avoidance? Philip Green?

  6. 6
    Suburban Hillbilly says:

    Quayle never lived down the tomatoe

  7. 7
    Santi says:

    And he was educated in the system Michael Gove wants to reintroduce……

  8. 8
    0% Growth says:

    And they wOnder why we dont trust them with the economy !

  9. 9
    Ed Balls says:

    He can mark my children’s exam papers any time he likes.

    BTW does David Cameron know the price of a pint of milk yet ?

  10. 10
    Jack Straws Council Tax claim says:

    Arithmetic isnt my strong point either

  11. 11
    JH says:

    Do us a favour and post links to those individuals telling smart arse, sanctimonious, cleverer-than-you, sneery, wink-to-the-lefty-audience, finger wagging ‘jokes’ about evil tax avoiders.

    Talk about deflection. Ha!

  12. 12
    Go Go GO Gove says:

    What grade GCSE did he get for Maths? A? B? C? If he’s even heard of percentages he must have got at least grade C.

    Go for it Gove. Go back to “O” Level GCE type exams, and also eliminate the endless annual grade inflation farce while yo’re at it.

    Tell the Libdum educacational “equal prizes for everyone” crowd and teachers to get stuffed. They’ve ruined our schools’standards. Chinese and Indian children are racing ahead of us in achievements.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Failing CSE maths is no bar to a glorious career in Socialist politics.

  14. 14
    YorkshireLad says:

    It isn’t even maths…it’s basic arithmetic. Thick git!

  15. 15
    Legal Crook says:

    Easy to see how labour pissed all our tax revenues away, no idea about numbers. What a bunch of cretins!

  16. 16
    robbie says:

    His expense claims will have been evaluated with the mathematical precision and accuracy of Big Blue, however.

  17. 17
    MB. says:

    Just looked him up in Wikipedia

    “He joined the National Union of Teachers in 1984 before becoming a teacher at Radyr Comprehensive School in 1985. He left the school in 1994 as Head of the Economics Department. Between 1991-2001, Brennan was a member of Cardiff Council representing the ward of Canton, Cardiff. During this time he served as Chair of the Finance Committee, Chair of the Economic Scrutiny Committee and Vice-Chair of Economic Development.”

    All I can say is “Oh dear!”

  18. 18
    Vote Labour Or The Kittens Get It says:

    The word is maths. Please piss off back to America.

  19. 19
    Everybody remembers a teacher who was useless says:

    This explains a lot.

  20. 20
    The Swivel Eyed Sceptic says:

    I have a test for Mr Brennan :

    Rearrange the following words : Complete Fail Epic Dickhead You

  21. 21
    Everybody remembers a teacher who was useless says:

    This explains the 125% voter turnout in the High Street ward during the last borough elections in Waltham Forest.

  22. 22
    Another Engineer says:

    It is simple arithmetic, not math, maths or mathematics.

  23. 23
    Tooth fairy says:

    Also he was educated at St Alban’s RC High School in Pontypool and Pembroke College, Oxford. He graduated in Philosophy, Politics and Economics in 1982, and was elected President of the Oxford Union.

  24. 24
    confused says:

    I think it all went wrong with decimalisation

  25. 25
    Gooey Blob says:

    It’s a wonder Len McCluskey hasn’t made him shadow chancellor yet, Ed Balls wouldn’t be anything like as close as that.

  26. 26
    Lightbulb says:

    I actually feel sorry for Mr Gove having to bother to take a twat like that seriously.

  27. 27
    jimmy ka says:

    could he consider being my new tax adviser ??

  28. 28
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Pronounced “maffs” these days, no doubt, by those taking the subject in the same school the ShadMin must have attended.

  29. 29
    Redbrick says:

    The standards claimed for Oxford are fairly suspect.

  30. 30
    Gooey Blob says:

    Never mind milk, does any MP know the price of a pint of beer yet, or are their bars all still subsidised by the rest of us?

  31. 31
    Ed Miliband says:

    Half the Tory MPs can’t do maths. Half the Tory MPs can’t spell and the other half are liars.

  32. 32
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    But he can talk for hours on the evil tories and is up to date with all things diversity that is all that matters.

  33. 33
    Darwin says:

    The talent pool on the Labour benches is very shallow indeed.

  34. 34
    Polly Pot says:

    Pay your taxes tory scu….oh ..wait..he’s one of us…erm…

    Cameron accuses innocent man and doesn’t condemn rich Tories

  35. 35
    Gordon McDoom says:

    He said “three out of ten equaled 60%”

    Yeah…so..? He’s right.

  36. 36
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    3/10 = 60%. Close enough for Shadow Government work.

  37. 37
    David says:

    Its the same economics applied by Balls, Blair and Brown, do you womder how the banks ran rings round them. Its like something of Yes Prime Minister

  38. 38
    I don't need no doctor says:

    It just doesn’t add up.

  39. 39
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    PPE is not a real degree same as media studies, could be done over 18 months one night a week in local coll

  40. 40
    john in cheshire says:

    socialist and stupid. that’s two words usually seen together.

  41. 41
    Education, Edyerkayshun, Eddyookaashun says:

    Was that the rong arnsirr then ?

  42. 42


    Deduction more like. 50% is deducted under Brennan maths.

  43. 43
    mark serwotka says:

    3 out of 10 is a resounding victory

  44. 44
    UKIP.I.AM says:


    Labour leader Ed Miliband opted not to join in with criticism of Jimmy Carr’s tax arrangements, saying: “I’m not in favour of tax avoidance obviously, but I don’t think it is for politicians to lecture people about morality.”

    Labour is calling on the Take That star to hand back the OBE he received in the Queen’s Birthday Honours List.

    Shadow treasury minister Catherine McKinnell said that even though he had done nothing illegal, Mr Barlow should return his OBE.

    So much for Labour not lecturing people about morality. And when exactly did they stop lecturing bankers and fat cats about morality?

    Gary Barlow is just as much a tax dodger as well but when has he condemned other tax dodgers? Once again Labour prove they have no concept of hypocrisy.

  45. 45
    Gooey Blob says:

    I’m sure I don’t need to remind anyone about the type of district in which Ed Balls’ old school is located, do I?

    Let’s just say that some male motorists have always driven around it very, very slowly…

  46. 46
    The Holy Trinity says:



    Thick as pigshit

  47. 47
    You Can Count on Labour says:

    This brings back memories of the gurning idiot during the General Election campaign when he was filmed talking to a little girl, who told him she was 4 years old. Gordon proceeded to hold up six fingers, which confused the poor young thing terribly.

  48. 48
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:

    Shut it, Dhimmi.


  49. 49
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I wonder why Brennan is no longer a teacher.

  50. 50
    Ha says:

    Seems Twitter is down.

  51. 51
    UKIP.I.AM says:

    8 out of 10 cats shit in my garden.

  52. 52
    will says:

    so which government knighted fred Goodwin for services to banking. oh yes it was labour !!

  53. 53
    Gooey Blob says:

    …not if you host 8 out of 10 Cats, it isn’t.

  54. 54
    m'Lard PrizeClot, NooLieBore Champion, Radiance, Gourmet, TV idol, - critiquing current affairs says:

    these bludy tory toffs oodthey think they are? Ehh? In my day there were just bluddy tory toffs and me wiv no A levalls couldn’t say a bluddy word coz I was in the bar stewarding the bluddy tory toffs who never thort that the bloke oo stood there servin them was bluddy thinking I ain’t got no A LEVORLS but one day oil show yer something so shurrup bout liebore folk wot can’t do sums coz oim a lord and oi got Wimmin hangin on me evry werd ere wen’s tea time? Oim bluddy ungry!! Then oil go out lookin fer abitta fun

  55. 55
    Mr Chips says:

    Those who can’t teach, shadow.

  56. 56
    'Mad' Hat, the LieBore Gift that keeps on giving says:

    Hey Big Boy! – wanna plumb my depths?

  57. 57
    Gooey Blob says:

    Gordon was probably used to seeing a couple of extra fingers waved in his general direction while he was out campaigning.

  58. 58
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    I agree. The totty is crap – look at the Eagle Munters.

  59. 59
    Off S. Ted says:

    He didn’t have sufficient experiential diversity training.

  60. 60
    suprise packet up the jacksie says:

    8illy, you can’t even fucking spell!

  61. 61
    Vince, a muti-stranded cable says:

    It’s good enough for Coalition Pensioners too

  62. 62
    Gordon Brown says:

    You bigot!! 6 out of 10 is 4 – so I was right! – I am always right!!

  63. 63
    Ah! Monika says:

    I’ve always maintained that there should be a P level examination for all parliamentary candidates.
    Nothing too difficult..difference between Profit and Loss, Credit and Debit, that sort of thing.

  64. 64
    illogical says:

    Speaking of asian / oriental successes I expected more of the Westminster Hall gathering for Ang San Suu Kyi. Almost a Stanley /Dr Livingstone moment for the 2012s.
    Eastern political giant meets Western political pygmies.
    Where was Sally Bercow in grass skirt getting her tits out providing a sun dance to show her just how far they have come and how far we have regressed. For both politics and education Suu Kyi can do little worse than copy anything elsewhere other than what passes as academic and political brilliance that abounds today here.

  65. 65
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    That’s 160% – Wow

  66. 66
    phil says:

    The finest labour Chancellor ever,who cured boom and bust, saved the world and termed 0% as an increase obviously had a similar maths teacher.
    Why anyone with half a brain cell actually wants to vote Labour back in on the premise that they are more competent in clearing up the shite they left behind than the tories deserves locking up in a lunatic asylum.

  67. 67
    nellnewman says:

    He’ll be the product of edballs’ education policy ‘every child matters’!

    Gove is a Godsend!! At long last our kids are going to be properly educated not politically indocrinated by marxist idiots!

  68. 68
    Diane Abbott says:

    Typical Tory strategy– divide and rule!

  69. 69

    he is obviously channelling Gordon

  70. 70
    Aunty Matter says:

    Was he taught maths by Owen Jones?

  71. 71
    Popeye says:

    Just your average socialist moron?

  72. 72
    nellnewman says:

    Talking of which idiot, does anybody know if gordon came out of his kirkoddy playroom for parliament today to try for a photo op with Aung San Suu Kyi?

  73. 73
    John Presstotty, Littlehampton says:

    How can you say “PPE is not a real degree”?

    Have you seen how many of our politicians and policy makers and top civil servants have a PPE degree? So what if they’re innumerable – they run this country, they’ve made it what it is today, after taking us through so many social millstones.

  74. 74
    nellnewman says:

    kevinbrennan reminded me terribly of aintbustingut – I don’t know why.

  75. 75
    Jen The Blue says:

    Labour lecturing on morality……makes a change from legislating on it.

    What about the ban on foxhunting for moral reasons?

    What about the thought crime of believing homosexuality to be a sin?

  76. 76

    0.1 out of 10 cats.

  77. 77
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Parliamentary Procedure Explanations Service says:

    This is why there is a Whip system in Parliament. The idiot MP’s cannot be trusted to do division on their own.

  78. 78

    uh Oh..He’s off on one again…And who’s going to get his meds with all the GPs on strike?

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    A Labour minister that can’t do basic maths, why should this shock you, we had a Chancellor of the Exchequer that could not count for ten years.

  80. 80

    **Tweet-Tweet – Wasn’t Doris Day lovely..Ahh..I think I’ll go on facebook and see who’s talking about things..- Tweet-Tweet **

    [you can keep up with the latest insights, wisdom, and thought provoking observations of Sarah Tweet by Following her on Twatter]

  81. 81
  82. 82
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Absolutely agree. Gove has the childs education at heart and is quite passionate about all aspects of education as well as mobility of university entrants by ensuring the increase of working class students to Russel Group universities.

    I wonder how RedEd’s paymasters the unions will respond to the changes?

  83. 83
    Nelson's Eye says:

    HMRC-U Jimmy!

  84. 84
    jgm2 says:

    More likely they will have be based primarily on the works of Edward Lear.

  85. 85
    nellnewman says:

    Well don’t know about where you are but none of our Dr’s went on strike. Bit like that teachers strike last year that went off like a damp squib.

    Oh Dear another union failure to bring this government down! Which union is going to have a go next?

  86. 86
    Alan Carr - Fatty Man says:

    0.1 out of 10 fat cats.

  87. 87
    MB. says:

    Presumably Carr is a Labour supporter – he always seems a typical Champagne Socialist. So Milliband can’t criticise him too much.

    They keep saying Barlow is a Conservative supporter so he is fair game for Milliband to go after.

    Did any of the TV channels or newspaper have a lipreader watching Cameron and Milliband talking this afternoon? Would be interested to know what was being said.

  88. 88
    Unite !!! The Hammer & Sickle union says:

    Someone call?

  89. 89
    KFC delivery service. says:

    Did someone order 4 bargain buckets on a house of commons credit card?

  90. 90
    nellnewman says:

    20 years ago , when the beeb got the agw bit between it’s teeth it said East Anglia was going to become a sea and then that gardens in East Anglia were going to become deserts.

    Errr . Still waiting!

  91. 91
    Legal Crook says:

    Yes McIdiot was there, ann san suu got 21 years house detention. Wish Mcmental had been locked up for 21 years with Blair. Wonder how long Blair would have survived without topping himself. Just imagine 21 years of non stop lectures from Mcdoom.

  92. 92
    nigelforengland says:

    Militwat is a tax dodger, so is Chuckup.

    Might be best if they kept quiet on the subject

  93. 93
    Kevin Brennan says:

    Educashun Educashun Educashun!

  94. 94
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:


  95. 95
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Did someone say “cats”?

  96. 96
    Tachybaptus says:

    Who cares? Fifteen per cent of Twitter users are chatbots, and the humans are so stultified that they don’t notice. Statistic from paper by Steven Gianvecchio, IEEE/ACM Transactions on Networking, vol 19, p 1557. He also found that 85 per cent of participants in Yahoo chatrooms were bots.

  97. 97
    Polly Pot says:

    Bring back ‘O’ levels and a two tier system that deprives all of prizes??

    Right! That’s it. Stop the bush waxing Giovanni. I’m putting me teeth back in!

    “This is a job for rank hypocrisy, hectoring and sanctimonious, knicker wetting outrage!”

    I’ll email Alan with a leader – “How dare this Tory led coalition attempt to teach children to read!! N.U.T. need to strike,strike and strike again until this dreadful decision is consigned to history{along with History}.

  98. 98
    Mary Creagh says:

    We need more taxes to stop all this climate change!

  99. 99
    U N Mee says:

    spe*kin’g ov witch, wear iz my luvlee Cat, babe?

    x x x U x x x

  100. 100

    My aunty old is arith matic

  101. 101
    Aunty Matter says:

    The BBC still don’t get it. Jimmy Carr used a tax dodge that he was on TV mocking others for using.

    It’s called double standards BBC mongs.

  102. 102

    Sky Suggesting that Cameron knew nothing about Gove’s little plan
    we know the Glib Dumbs didn’t but who gives a fuck what they think

  103. 103
    jgm2 says:

    Seriously though – PPE plus elected President of the Oxford Union should have been enough, at his age, to be on the board of some huge multi-national earning squillions.

    Instead of which he became a school teacher?

    What a total fucking waste of a CV like that aged 21.

  104. 104
    Mr Brennan says:

    Fail Dickhead, You Complete Epic.

    Do I get a prize?

  105. 105
    Ah! Monika says:

    Trouble with socialists is that they leave school understanding the ‘Lowest Common Denominator’ but not the ‘ Highest Common Factor’.

  106. 106
    annette curton says:

    The BBC (and Met office) can’t forecast the weather 24 hours in advance yet they have appointed themselves gurus of climate change, what are they using now (apart from copious amounts of nose powder) a divination from the entrails of a Pigeon?.

  107. 107

    British banks to be down graded tonight at 10 o’clock
    Auditors find that Spanish banks may need up to 150 Billion Euro’s
    and that will be just on what they have owned up to

  108. 108
    jgm2 says:

    Those who can, do.

    Those who can’t, teach.

    And those who can’t teach, teach teachers.

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    here we go again

    for all the shit labour has got us in recently – and being forgiven that the tory party never existed before last week – what we have here is muck-racking of the lowest form

    the country has gone to shit – the tories are only looking after themselves – so what do we do – have a go at a labour mp

    FFS do some proper analysis of what’s happening rather than fuck about in the gutter

  110. 110
    jgm2 says:

    Nobody remembers Gordon Brown, the history teacher. It’s almost like there is some hidden slush fund within education to give these imbeciles sinecure positions while they await a safe seat.

  111. 111
    annette curton says:

    So that’s why the plea of guilty but pig thick stands up in court when they are accused of fiddling their expense forms.

  112. 112
    jgm2 says:

    Proper analysis of what’s happening?

    Fine, Labour destroyed the economy, pissed away every penny they could beg, borrow or print and then left a note laughing in the nation’s face.

    ‘There’s no money left’. Ha ha ha ha ha.

    We’re two years into trying to deal with that fuckwittery.

    How’s that for analysis?

  113. 113

    Jimmy, Green and Barlow didn’t make a living slagging off moneyed people for taking the very same tax avoidance measures ( which, despite the left’s best efforts to present them as such, aren’t illegal) they themselves were taking advantage of.

    Get this into your thick socialist skull ….. IT’S THE HYPOCRISY OF IT NOT THE ACTUAL, FULLY LEGAL, TAX AVOIDANCE!

  114. 114
    Ah! Monika says:

    Why don’t the Interviewers put it to the Doctors representatives that the BMA negotiators grossly out-maneuvered the Labour Government in 2008 and achieved, what they must have known at the time, to be an unsustainable settlement.

  115. 115
    Tony says:

    I buy milk every week and I don’t know how much it costs. I need milk, I put it in the basket, that’s all there is to it.

  116. 116
    BBC weather twat says:

    You’re having a BBQ summer, millions of you will die from heat, we never lie

  117. 117

    Poor Aung San Suu Kuyi, 21 years locked up in her own home and who does she have to meet and listen to when she gets her first taste of freedom?

    Bloody Gordon Brown, Blair, Miliband and Cameron.

    I bet she can’t wait to get back home and lock the front door again.

  118. 118

    Did you mean innumerate? Though I do agree they’re innumerable

  119. 119
    a non says:

    Just viewing an education apologist on SKY complaining “But some children might fail”
    Considering that A, B+s were as scarce as hen’s teeth in my day perhaps Gove could extend the grading list to include G to Z results to show willing.

  120. 120
    keredybretsa says:

    Do me a favour….I bet this geez gets all his expenses added up to the last penny!!

  121. 121
    Weygand says:

    As well as the potatoe?

  122. 122
    Education Apologist says:

    I fear that if these reforms go ahead, employers will discriminate against applicants who results show they are not suitable for the job on offer.

  123. 123
    Weygand says:

    Dozens of people would agree.

  124. 124
    jgm2 says:

    They didn’t ‘out-maneuvre’ anybody. They asked for the most outrageous figure imaginable expecting to be bargained down to a sensible figure and the Maximum Imbecile just said ‘Yes’.

    The Imbecile didn’t give a fuck. He would just stand up in Parliament and brag that he was ‘investing’ an additional 40% in doctors this financial year and most folk would assume he’d employed another 40% of doctors. This was the same with all his ‘investment’. More money for the nurses. More money for every fucker.

    ‘I make no apologies for spending an additional 20bn quid this year on the NHS’ or some such soundbite. He didn’t give a fuck where the money was going as long as he got to brag about ‘investing’ billions more than last year. The worst thing with the doctor’s windfall payrise though was that it was so generous that a lot of ‘em just went to a three day week for the same cash. So, bizzarely, a 40% pay increase resulted in less doctors being available. Which meant that NHS bills snowballed because they had to pay locums astronomical rates to cover for these newly part-time doctors.

    Utter fucking madness.

  125. 125
    slush funned says:

    Intrigued reading Boris’ expenses yesterday he was gifted a Sno Wovel which he declared. Explains why the BBC have taken him to task. Any apparatus that can be used for shoveling the white stuff as quickly as possible in their noses should have come their way.

  126. 126
    Education Apologist says:

    Apologies. “Whose” not “who”.

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    So he joined the NUT and THEN became a teacher???? That shows his priorities and mindset.

  128. 128
    jgm2 says:

    Likewise. I buy 3 * 6 pint containers every fucking week. Not a scooby. Just stick it in the trolley and on to the next item.

    About £1.80 for a 6 pint container if I had to guess.

  129. 129
    Engineer says:

    Evening, Ken. Newts doing OK?

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    Im sure there was talk of Ed having some sort of tax dodge concerning money left to him by his father, can somebody find out ?

  131. 131
    illogical says:

    Order-order strikes again!
    Neo Guido complaining of a sore throat this morning and no Doc available.
    Contagious tweet?

  132. 132
    Anonymous says:

    Dont start on that childish crap again FFS.

  133. 133
    Fish says:

    They can’t forecast the weather as it happens.

    ‘It’s wall-to-wall sunshine for the UK’, they said, one Saturday, some months back. And there I was in Waitrose car park getting pissed wet through in a downpour.

  134. 134
    Seems familiar says:

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    Yes…Bushels of them

  136. 136
    Anonymous says:

    Jim admits he made an error of judgement, so hes not innocent.

  137. 137
    a non says:

    Isn’t that the whole point of exams – to sort out the wheat from the chaff?
    I’m chaff.
    Took me 7 goes to get masses of O and A levels , the latter in Chemistry Physics and Zoology.
    If at first you don’t succeed……….

  138. 138
    Engineer says:

    It’s more likely that he makes any number of inadvertent errors. In his favour, of course.

    Why do I suggest this? Well, he’s an MP isn’t he?

  139. 139
    blip says:

    Aren’t MP’s allowed to request alterations to Hansard in order to cover up their more egregious errors.

  140. 140
    Fish says:

    Quite JGM

    …and anonymouse, they f.ucked up the educashun system, set up NHS death camps in Stafford (and elswhere), allowed the Doctors and NHS Managers to loot the health budget, f.ucked up bank regulation, did eff all about the press wrongdoing that they were fully aware of, took us to an illegal war, screwed up the tax system and DID NOTHING ABOUT TAX AVOIDANCE, and elected a load of no-hopers to their shadow cabinet.

    Guidoistas, feel free to add more to the list.

  141. 141
    Diane Fatbutt says:


  142. 142
    jgm2 says:

    What about his chat-up line…

    ‘Excuse me love, do you think this handkerchief smells of Chloroform?’

  143. 143
    Xenophon says:

    He was on the BBC radio news today, complaining about the scandal of separating the ‘sheeps’ from the goats.

    Most four year olds know the plural of ‘sheep’. It’s back to nursery school for him.

  144. 144
    100% says:

    what a fuckwitted monkey’s ballbag

  145. 145
    Ha says:

  146. 146
    TGF UKIP says:

    He joins Byers who thought that 7 x 8 = 54 and Estelle Morris (Education Secretary!) who didn’t know rthe difference between an adjective and an adverb.

  147. 147
    mongeese says:

    Maybe a deliberate mistake. He is meant to be a comedian.

  148. 148
    confused says:

    I had, what seemed at first, a reasonable conversation with a yahoo groups bot called Lynda

  149. 149
    he stole that too says:

    his joke?

  150. 150
    nellnewman says:

    What does he mean separating sheep from goats?

    Who are sheep? – does he mean us? and who are goats ?- is he talking about the westminster bunch, as in gordon’s ‘government of all talents?’ Well we know what came of that!

  151. 151
    John Presstotty, Littlehampton says:

    I’m corrected by bloggers unseen
    yet maintain a harmonic mien.
    When press’d for a-mount
    I’m not a deviant count;
    on average I say what I mean.

  152. 152
    Ha says:

  153. 153
    nellnewman says:

    I think you’ve hit the nail very nicely on the head there Fish. Couldn’t have said it better!

  154. 154
    jgm2 says:

    I’m not sure a two tier exam system is the best way forward. All that is needed to restore confidence in exams is to do what I believe was done with the old ‘O’ Levels. Ie only the top (say) 10% get an ‘A’, the next 20% get a ‘B’, the next 20% get a ‘C’ and so on…

    This takes out any variations from year to year in individual exam difficulties PLUS it means the best in any one year are recognised as such. I believe that at the moment we have the situation where some exams have 50% and more getting grade ‘A’ or above. Half the exam being awarded on coursework which was marked and then resubmitted with ‘suggested improvements’ and /or done by their older siblings or their parents or down-loaded from the interweb.

    Computers and spell-checks and grammar checks mean that any fucking halfwit can present as Oscar Wilde in their written coursework. It’s not until they’ve got their foot in the door that you realise they’re utter fucking plankton. But you can’t dent their misplaced self-confidence because, after all, they got an ‘A’ in everything and a degree from some rebadged third rate university that was previously an adult literacy college so they must be clever.

    We have created an entire generation of idiots with worthless sheaves of paper proclaiming their brilliance and no degree-level jobs for them to go into. We have destroyed the whole notion of education as being a way ‘out’ by devaluing it to the point where they might as well give you a degree certificate with your birth certificate for all the fucking use it is.

  155. 155
    elf care says:

    All round abject failures become [medical] consultants

  156. 156
    nellnewman says:

    Let’s just hope Gove keeps going – he’s doing a fantastic job to right 13 years of mismanagement of our education programme.

  157. 157
    jgm2 says:

    He’s welsh. He was probably talking about separating the sheeps from the blokes.

  158. 158
    BBC NEWS Editor says:

    Blimey..we’ve been wrong footed. Our coverage was going to be Julian fleeing from warmongering US CIA extradition.

  159. 159
    jgm2 says:

    Don’t these ‘bots’ eventually encounter each other and just end up having ‘conversations’ forever. Like that game of ‘tic-tac-toe’ in the film ‘War Games’. If they do I wonder if their ‘conversation’ eventually iterates to ’42’.

  160. 160
    Doctor Octopuss says:

    That’s true.
    We laughed our arses off when they agreed to us losing £1200 a year but not having to work weekends anymore. A 2% pay cut for a 15% reduction in working hours. And the worst 15% too!

    What chumps the Labour party were. We stitched them up like a Cesarian.

  161. 161
    Carr crash says:

    If I was a multi-millionaire, I’d want to minimise the amount of tax I pay by using all legal methods. So whilst I don’t have a problem in principle with what Jimmy Carr did, it’s his barefaced hypocrisy in doing sketches mocking those who use tax avoidance loopholes.

  162. 162
    Ah! Monika says:

    on form today J.

  163. 163
    jgm2 says:

    It wasn’t even ‘losing’ 1200 quid. If I remember rightly the average doctors wage went overnight from 65K to 95K or, if you wanted to work weekends then 100K or some figures close to that. If it was only 1200 quid difference then I’ll take your word for it. In any case the 1200 quid was just a rounding error on the massive payrise.

    No wonder everybody went part-time. No wonder locum rates ballooned to a thousand quid for half a day.

    Utter fucking madness.

    Did nobody warn him? Did nobody tell the Imbecile what the fuck was likely to happen?

    No wonder we ended up printing money.

  164. 164
    Elsie Dee says:

    I’ve been told my name qualifies me to head the BBC.

  165. 165
    Ah! Monika says:

    My wife’s libido is rather low, nothing wrong with her eyesight tho. I think she’s been to Sexsavers.

  166. 166
    Baldy says:

    More like ‘Carry on Dick‘.

  167. 167
    Backwoodsman says:

    Look, you have to keep this in perspective. When richard caborne was labour sports minister, he scored 0 out of 4 on sports questions, so this guy isn’t doing too bad.

  168. 168
  169. 169
    Ed Ballsup says:

    Schools must not produce winners.

  170. 170
    Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

    You’re just a bigoted little girl.

  171. 171
    Ken Livingstone says:

    People who avoid tax are the scum of the Earth.

  172. 172
    Mike Hancock, common or garden LimpDum and child molester says:

    “Psst! Little girl! Wanna come and see some puppies?”

    Works most times.

  173. 173
    Hi Ken says:

    Still planning to make Londistan the Bacon of the Religion of Piss? – or won’t you just PISS OFF!

  174. 174
    BBC - you must pay us to watch other TV channels says:

    And stop drinking the water, you selfish non-Green bastards!

    Don’t you know you’re destroying it and dooming us all to migrate from the M25 desert up to the oasis of Manchester?

  175. 175
    Jacky Drawmyderrier, the only gal with a cock and no clit says:

    I don’t think I’ve seen my wife’s libido – where do I look?

  176. 176
    Annuva Edyerkayshun Apolo .... Apol ... appal . . bloke says:

    All must ‘of’ prizes – n’that – nowotoimeen?

  177. 177
    Sarah Twat, tweeting says:

    Gordo likes me to have an outside interest. He tells me he used to like walking in the dunes. But there aren’t any round here.

  178. 178
    Or says:

    - become Inspectors?

  179. 179
    Baldy says:

    Pity your name isn’t Elly Dee – the Beeb could do with a light shone on their accounts – just in case of any shight lone.

  180. 180
    Ha says:

  181. 181
    Lou Scannon says:

    You must surely have a degree in PPE yourself. I know you’re a man of letters; trouble is, all of them are French.

  182. 182
    Jacky Treehorn says:

    Not to mention their immigration led recruitment drive.

  183. 183
    Pickled Wizard says:

    Not incompetence- ignorance!

  184. 184
    Pickled Wizard says:

    His maths let him down!

  185. 185
    BBC - you must pay us to watch other TV channels says:

    BBC analysis:
    – Thatcher is to blame;

    – the Coalition is to blame;

    – white people are hideous;

    – the British Empire oppressed other nations so badly that now they want to come and live here instead, where they are oppressed further;

    – the wise BBC is so loved by the British people that it daren’t move to a subscription basis in case their feelings are hurt.

  186. 186
    jgm2 says:

    That’s Wales for you.

  187. 187
    Pickled Wizard says:

    surely three out of ten (and a bit…)

  188. 188
    query says:

    How many Millibeans make five?

  189. 189
    MB. says:

    I thought it was usually failed teachers who became union officials perhaps he was the opposite way around.

  190. 190
    Pickled Wizard says:

    An economics lecturer at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

    The lecturer then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on a socialist plan”.. All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A…. (substituting grades for euros – something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

    After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

    The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
    When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

    As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

    To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the lecturer told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
    Could not be any simpler than that.
    Remember, there IS a test coming up. Hopefully, Doug Carswells bill will succeed.

    These are possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

    1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

    2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

    3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

    4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

    5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

  191. 191
    Baldy says:

    Probably why the military let her out just now – show her what can happen when touchy-feely belief in the Green religion decides policy, rather than science and sums.

  192. 192
    Pickled Wizard says:


  193. 193
    Baldy says:

    My wife’s libido is clearly very strong, though she’s getting slightly deaf.

    Together in bed, I very softly whisper to her:
    ‘Do you want to go to sleep, or what?’.


  194. 194
    Pickled Wizard says:

    They can always find work with the labour party as education spokespeople

  195. 195
    Pickled Wizard says:

    there’s jealous for you boyo

  196. 196
    A sense of entitlement which can be seen from space says:

    The worse thing is that the plankton actually believe the hype and think they are fucking Einstein, “its just not fair, I worked soooo hard and deserve a job on 10000000000000 a year .

  197. 197

    In educational terms, the Liberal leader has become a Clegg on the equity of redemption.

  198. 198
    JH says:

    His father’s mardy arsed Presbyterian ghost could have popped up out the floorboards, smacked him round the jowls, gave him an even thicker ear and screamed at him not to do it.

    But Gordoom, being Gordoom, would have gone right ahead.

    He likes the Arctic monkeys you know. They’re “very loud”. And he’s had “lots” of girlfriends. Aldridge fucking McPrior.

    Once this shit has blown over (circa 2040) serious questions need to be asked about how a man like that was allowed anywhere near public office, never mind that of the Prime Minister.

  199. 199
    Engineer says:

    The sooner the EU disappe*rs up it’s own fundament taking the legions of daft bureaucrats with it, the better for all.

  200. 200
    Jethro says:

    135 … I reckon there’s chains of them lining up out there, inching their way forward (what the ell),some trying to find perches, so’s they can peck at their lunch, others in league with the Devil (call Scotland Yard) but biting their nails. I can’t fathom it.

  201. 201
    BBC weather twat says:

    Lefty twat David Aronovich on Spy Paper review telling us that having 1 million kids in school who don’t speak English as a first language (or at all) is good for us.

    I bet it’s not good for the English kids who lose out because the teachers have having to explain things over and over.

    But of course Aranovich probably does what his left mates fat Polly, fat Hattie and Fatty Abbott do and send their kids to a nice middle class school. No nasty foreigners there to fuck up their kids education

  202. 202
    not a machine says:

    Star in a reasonably priced tax avoidence vehicle ……………

    Mr Gove has envoked the wrath of the Nick Clegg , O levels …… CSEs ……… tougher exams …… . Accusing him of turning the clock back …..
    I appreciate politics is often about differences and views on outcomes , but Nick seems all kind of clunky on this one , because his view seems to adovcate that education was somehow doing a good job for the last 15 yrs , and hasnt quite grasped that it has arrived at the business of group therapy level . Of course Nick may be thinking “oh heavens we dont want the austerity of challenging education for those who can ,infering a re jig of some sort of middle class franchise ” . mmmm well he may be having a trip for some “right on” spin except that in education a low standard for all to attain , does little for those who can do better from an early age which isnt so easy as to pin down to class of parents .
    Indeed Nick has to answer what can be done for those children whose minds can escape such low parameters , does he not wish for children that can attain a higher level ,to have some confidence in there learning and abilities by test ?
    I am quite sure that Nick has somehow not pondered , that education is more than presentation of subjects on a viewing screen , I mean Nick has to answer the more philsophical question of what is or goes wrong with a society that is constructed , of answers and information ??? Ah but then you would have to have the ability to consider if those posing the questions , should be your hidden masters and if you were free at all to be moral , when the question was never put .
    (here endeth the lesson and the socialist deceptions on eutopia)

  203. 203
    not a machine says:

    you say that JGM2 , but then go onto to say what you see in education .

    is two tier education , better than no tears education ……… Interesting question isnt it ……..

  204. 204
    Ah! Monika says:

    Nick has made ” A terrible error of judgement”

  205. 205
    superfly agaric says:

    They also allowed unrestricted immigration to irreversibly change our towns.
    They call it multi-culturalism. Problem is, there isn’t much multi and very little culture.
    Plenty of fibreglass minarets appearing on buildings though.

  206. 206
    not a machine says:

    Most excellent pickled wizard , most excellent , All 5 points resonate beautifully .

    I might add one of Norman Tebbits questions , no doubt based on experience
    “why do socialist eutopias always end up in being police states “

  207. 207
    Ex Conservative Voter says:

    Nick Clegg is batshit insane. GCSEs are crap. Everyone knows this. Everyone has always knows this. GCSEs were a horrendous mistake. Every poor sod born since 1980 who went through state ‘education’ was basically f*cked by GCSEs, which is why you never ever meet anyone under 40 who was state-educated and who you’d ever bother to employ.

    Gove finally killed GCSEs and the LimpDims spent 10 hours having a group hug whilst they wondered what their response should be. Their response was, predictably, batshit insane.

    The state-school ‘teachers’ hate the return of O-levels because there’s not one state-educated teacher under the age of 40 who could possibly pass one, let alone teach them.

  208. 208
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Whew, that’s “gross.”

  209. 209
    Met Office says:

    We need a bigger ‘puter.

  210. 210
    Nicked Clag says:

    I’m yellow by nature – which is why I’m painted yellow, and Mr Barista says Dave must do everything I say.

    So there!

    Privileged lifestyle? – that’s me to a tea / tee / teat

  211. 211
  212. 212
    Ah! Monika says:

    Never a truer word.

  213. 213
    Gordon Brown says:

    And you would have one if I was still in charge, – or two – but why stop there? – order a dozen! No worries if they don’t work.

  214. 214
    Carr crash says:

    Anonymongs! Question Whine starting in a minute with Ken Clarke, Andy Burnham, Ruth Lea and one of the brothers, Len McCluskey who’s AKA Ed’s boss.

  215. 215
    Britain the ruined country says:

    The cesspool surely.

  216. 216
    ByStander # 40 says:

    Hear hear to that!

    I suppose the only thing they can spout is ‘progressive’ rhetoric – sorry – bullshit!

  217. 217
    Mock the Week says:

    Dara Ó Briain (stupid fucking name I know): So now!…who can ad-lib why we shouldn’t pay any fucking taxes at all?

  218. 218
    BREAKING WIND! says:

    Due to the impact of the Eurozone crisis on the global banking system
    Moody’s have downgraded three British banks.

    Barclays – credit rating cut by two notches from Aa3 to A2
    HSBC – rating cut by two notches from Aa2 to Aa3
    Royal Bank of Scotland – one notch cut in its rating from A2 to A3

  219. 219
    Carr crash says:

    Jim Davidson on Brillo’s show after Question Whine.

  220. 220
    ModBot is a wanker says:

    Moody’s have downgraded three British banks.

    Barclays – two notches from Aa3 to A2
    H.S.B.C – two notches from Aa2 to Aa3
    R.B.S – one notch from A2 to A3

  221. 221
    Handypara says:

    + plenty

  222. 222
    Ah! Monika says:

    have another go

  223. 223
    Ah! Monika says:

    I honestly believe that a large proportion of teachers would not achieve 80% in the GCSE subjects they teach.

    They should be tested every year.

  224. 224
    Aunty Matter says:

    Newsnight up to their usual tricks. BBC call Gary Barlow a ‘Tory supporter’ but fail to mention Carr is a lefty Labour supporter.

    Bias at the BBC? Never!

  225. 225
    Withnail says:

    As is the gene pool

  226. 226
    a non says:

    QT audience was made up of 11 plus failures. With the exception of Ken Clarke the panel was piss poor too

  227. 227
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Of course I will be sending my children to a State school.

  228. 228
  229. 229
    not a machine says:

    Mario Monti says only 1 week to save the euro , so the EU meeting will be an autopsy then …….

    I listend to Ang Sang Su Ki , with tremendous respect , it was perhaps one of those great speechs in history , when democracy is outlined in simple enough terms as to have the irresistable change and hope, from oppression , that we have lost as a country . I wondered what it must be like to , leave your house after 26 yrs board a plane and return to a country which you saw as an example to the world , visit its parliament only to find , its nation sticken with debt,its political bodies full of expense experts , a huge ammount of people with no employment and its well paid doctors on strike . That sort of sudden adjustment as to considering , what has become of democracy , is quite a major experience . I hope of course , that Ang Sang Su Ki can indeed welcome the sort of companies that can do good , for business in Burmah and its people . But what was perhaps the most charming , was how her value of democracy was some how correctly positioned in relation to business , it wasnt as blurred or as toxic as what seems to have happened over here and the schemes of the socialists and europhiles . Since she gained her degree at Oxford new forms of corruptions of democracy have taken place , she of course has earned the warmth and respect shown to her on her travels , it was as though I glimpsed some sort of perfection about politics , as though all the pieces of life that come under politics , could be correctly placed under her considerations .
    I presume she will shake hands with people , who have no idea , what her years of being confined to her home were like , there thoughts more of the problems on ensuring they get good write ups and in some cases much darker things. Of course her perfection light , must trouble many politicians who stand near it , as there lives may have lost the desire of democracy as they battle just to stay in power or are the zealots of game theory .

    I hope That Ang Sang Su ki , doesnt have a “my god what have you done , look at yourselves and what you have made your people” moment as she encounters the various flavours of government on her global travels and that she is not shaken when she sees some of the problems .

  230. 230
    Kevin Brennan's Maths Teacher, A "New-Ager," says:

    2 + 3 = 17, if you really want it to, and it is only the constraints we have placed upon our own imaginations that prevent it from doing so. We must think outside the box! Find new and daring solutions! Don’t let things like mathematical proof stand in your way! They’ve laughed at every great thinker!

  231. 231
    Git rid of the lot of 'em says:

    Hasn’t Ed Millibandwagon apologised, or is going to apologise for all the immigrants that were allowed into this country over their 13 year ‘reign of terror’?

    Bit late now Milliband – they’re all packed into this country now, with more rights than the rest of us.

    I saw the result of all these p..a..k..i..d*..s & S*.m.*l..i..s.. being led down the main High Street today – all ?women? had head & face covered [including little girls] and all looking as if they owned the place, which, of course they do now.

    Thanks Leiber, thanks very feckin much!

  232. 232
    Marmite says:

    You’re that Leiber education plonker aren’t you? Like Monika says “have another go”!

  233. 233
    E=MC hammer says:

    nothing ever add up with this lot

  234. 234
    Alan Johnson says:


  235. 235
    Gordon Brown says:

    Idiocy, it’s in our DNA.

  236. 236
    Chawser says:

    I think that is how Pilgrims Progress.

  237. 237
    Chawser's View says:

    You are old father William the young man said
    Do you think at your age it is right
    To go home each night
    Give yourself such a fright
    Trying to get your expenses claim right.

  238. 238
    Rod says:

    If you don’t know what a perch is you must be up the pole.

  239. 239
    Rod says:

    He was under pressure and clearly flustered. What he meant to say was 3 out of 60 is 10 percent. Then he would have got it right.

  240. 240
    Rod's digits says:

    Count the fingers on your left hand backwards, thus: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.

    Then add the 5 on the right hand…

    et voila, everyone now has 11 fingers.

    Good that innit. ‘Sow I got me A level sums.

  241. 241
    Rod's ancient digits says:

    Meals on Wheels as once affectionately(?) known as Muck on a Truck.

  242. 242
    Rod's ancient digits says:


  243. 243
    Rod's ancient digits says:

    Phil, you have just written tomorrow’s Graundian (taken out of context as usual)headline:…. tories deserves locking up etc.

  244. 244
    Rod's ancient digits says:

    One out all out of course. Do try to keep up at the back

  245. 245
    Rod's ancient arithmetical digits says:

    You can’t do sums either. For 13 read 43 (going on 53) then you will be getting much nearer the truth.

  246. 246
    Rod's ancient arithmetical digits says:

    We need as many tiers as it takes since people develop at diffferent rates. It is called streaming so the kids of roughly equal ability can all learn together at their own speed, with the very bright ones taking the hardest exams (ie O level). Plus, most people have different abiities – some are good at maths and science but can’t do languages for toffee and others shine at languages but can’t even work out the boiling point of water. These differences need to be resognised. Yet others are good with their hands and should be encouraged to learn practical subjects – carpentry, metalworking, technical draughtsmanship, engineering etc.

    Just like it used to was before surely Williams and Prick Crosland got their hands on the levers.

  247. 247
    The Swivel Eyed Sceptic says:

    Yes, you get an A* of course!

  248. 248
    Rod's ancient arithmetical digits says:

    You are probably right, but adding up does not (usually) involve higher maths like percentages

  249. 249
    Rod's ancient linguistic digits says:

    Poor Estelle, at least she had the guts to resign, but not knowing the difference between different parts of speech is not really surprising as English grammar has not been taught in schools since about 1965. When learning foreign languages, understanding the grammar is essential to get things right – so why did they stop teaching it for English? Other than to dumb down the natives obviously.

    I once met a teacher of English who had never heard the word ‘parsing’.

  250. 250
    donethemaths says:

    I’m not surprised. The R_soles in the Commons depend upon the Innumeracy in the general population to get away with the things they do, so sometimes an innumerate twat gets a seat and makes a total fool of themselves. The Medja are just as bad, if not worse.

  251. 251
    donethemaths says:

    None shit in mine after I put a half brick by the back door ready for instant attack if I see the little buggers heading for the Hydrangeas.

  252. 252
    Alan Rubbishbringer says:

    the grauniad is trruble at speling and newspapering and paying taxes yet we constantly lecture others.

  253. 253
    Alan Rubbishbringer says:

    Jo Brand is a tory?

  254. 254
    I love the FT says:

    “He was educated at St Alban’s Roman Catholic Comprehensive School in Pontypool”

    …a fine product of the Welsh Labour education system

  255. 255
    Bill Bell says:

    Gordon couldn’t do his sums, so why are we suprised?

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