End of Piers’ Show
When Piers Morgan began his gig at CNN he told us: “judge me after a year”. Well time is up and the viewers have spoken, with ratings for his beleaguered talk show plummeting by over 50% after twelve months. Over the last month Piers averaged just 395,000 viewers, even hitting an axe-worthy all-time low of 39,000 in the crucial 25-54 age group. His Jubilee coverage this weekend may have given him an undeserved upward ratings blip. It was so cringe-making it was the butt of jokes from Jon Stewart.
And it isn’t just viewing figures that are cause for concern for Morgan and his bosses. With Jeremy Paxman royally landing him in it at Leveson last month it is expected that Piers will be recalled for a second chat with Brian and Mr Jay. This time he won’t get away with plugging his book via video-link.
A year ago Piers would never have thought he’d be fighting for his job on two fronts. Guido wonders whether it will be ratings or phone-hacking that forces CNN’s hand. Let’s judge it in a year’s time…
I wont be shedding tears for Piers!
Are you sure that isn’t Tyres for Tara
For Queen and Country do not sack Piers Morgan as he might come to live here..
The US have a precedent of keeping our talentless, car crash media whores like Sharon Osbourne, Billy Idol and Tracey Ullman. Perhaps we can permanently add Piers Morgan , Cheryl Cole, Jonathan Ross, Paddy McGuiness, Katie Price and the cast of TOWIE
x10000
Hang on a minute. Does Piers have Man Tits like Tony? He lived in London for quite a bit. That Estrogen has a lot to answer for.
He should do what Gordon did.
Turn the graph so the anti clockwise until the Y axis becomes the X.
Then everything looks amazing.
If the US lobby are anything like the K one,they won’t even notice for 8 years.
Look at those typos. I’m like the grauniafgthd$
Windows system key combinations
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Microsoft Natural Keyboard with IntelliType software installed
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APPLIES TO
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Keywords:
kbpubtypekc kbenablemove kbenablesight kbenv kbFAQ kbinfo KB126449
HTH
Thanks.
And your point is?
You missed a useful one, f7, which starts the spellchecker in Microsoft Office and a lot of other applications.
Good idea. At the moment it looks like a graph of what Gordon and I would describe as negative Growth.
If Piers come home, will there be a charge waiting for him, and a prison stretch too I think.
A zero percent increase.
Half a million viewers. They pulled The Unit series when it went from 15 million to 10 million in 3.5 years. Piers Morgan was always living on borrowed time – much like the rest of his life.
My advice is to dial G for Gordon. Having his great friend the man who saved the world on his show should do wonders for his ratings.
I hacked into Piers Morgan’s mobile yesterday and listened to his messages. Bit of a waste of time really – all they were was:
1) “You’re a Hunt”
2) “You’re a Hunt”
3) “You’re a Hunt”
4) “You’re a Hunt”
Et cetera.
Even the American TV watchers are starting Wake up from the BULL SHIT
As slimeballs go he even rivals Keith Vaz.
He won’t be able to do the show from prison, that’s for sure.
He’ll a good Human rights lawyer to argue that it is against his human rights and that he must be allowed to continue his show in prison.
Guests will include Big Ron (who’s in with the wardens) Jimmy the snitch and The Two Sisters.
I’d pay good money to watch it.
if they need a new anchor, I’ve heard that ed balls is considered a bit of an anchor by almost everyone who’s ever met him.
Your comments about me go too far too fast. When I’m führer, I mean prime minister, dissidents like you will be shot, I mean re-educated.
All Balls and no cock
… anchor is by far your best typo today.
Why won’t Louise Mensch go out with me? Is it because she really wants to but is married and doesn’t want to be unfaithful? Or is it because I’m a fat greasy cock with all the charm of a a latrine? I guess I’ll have to just continue tweeting her every day under the guise of asking questions, when really I just want her to reply so I can wank off to it.
“It was so cringe-making it was the butt of jokes from Jon Stewart”
How lucky Jon has never heard of you, Greedo.
Next week: Jon deconstructs Rich & Mark and takes a wry look at Neo’s efforts with spelling and punctuation.
See also: Insane blog modbot program tries to take control of the universe, experts believe memory chip accidentally soaked in Guinness.
I have certainly heard of the excellent Guido, but who the fuck are you?
Did the government use the jubilee to sneak out/bury any bad news? Surely something was slipped by during those four days.
Guess how much we paid to the EU?
Any item of good news is always announced by a LibDem.
Shame they didn’t bury Bliar, Brown and Campbell.
Isn’t that graph upside down ??
Or is it a graph of my sh8re tips after I’d pumped and dumped ??
Now that has me feeling almost sorry for one of the least funny people on the British ‘comedy’ scene.
You have to admire his chutzpah for going out in public with his hair looking like that. What a 24 carat plonker he really is.
Ever noticed how the cabbage patch doll-faced c**t is so needy he Tweets his spectacularly incisive views about pretty much every trending topic on Twitter be it Joey Barton or the price of beans?
His cock comparing competition with that other risible self-publicist ‘Alan’ Sugar being particularly cringeworthy.
Surely now even Piers himself pinches himself every morning and wonders how he manged to blag this gig so far.
Oblivion’s gonna smart him like a MF, and it truly couldn’t happen to a nicer fake war photograph publisher.
I maybe a total twat but I’m a very, very wealthy total twat.
Shan’t shed a tear either – slimy, unprincipled, self-important twat.
Get SiCo to bang his ring for a couple more million.
So how many people died because he published those fake photos? Think that we can get he arrested as a war criminal? After all, if Naomi Campbell can be a star witness in a war crimes trial then I don’t forsee any problems apart from grabbing him.
Piers should hand that graph over to the University of Norfolk, you know the ones who prattle out the bollocks over climate change, they will have that graph rising faster than a Cath0lics cock in a boys changing room.
What about Dr. Clarke?
God forbid Piers had been in the States, covering the Big Story there, the recall election in the State of Wisconsin, an attempt to remove a Republican (in the US sense of the word!) Governor whose hard-line bargaining stance with State-employee unions in the name of austerity measures earned him the opprobrium of all the professional Lefties in the media there and sparked a nationwide funding dr!ve by his Democratic opponent. (The Republican won by a greater margin than when he was initially elected, in a larger turnout than he got then.)
Instead, CNN says, let’s get the Brit to jizz his pants over some “pomp and ceremony” that, frankly, he probably felt he had to shill for in order to justify his presence at. Like his presence lent any “gravitas” to the coverage! More like “gravy sandwich”!
Gravy sandwich – now your talking my language.
Why have they got a pic of Twatson in Nat.Acc. Helpline Ad? I always thought that creature was a mobile Dog Faeces.
I shall most certainly enjoy his evidence. One wonders if he will be reminded that he is on oath.
Piers will look like smoking hot beaver in San Quentin. Will Celia understand?
Moron will be giving Cowell’s knob a polish.