February 21st, 2012

Spelman Hails Genetic Modification

In the headlines for the right reasons today, Caroline Spelman has spent the morning at the National Farmers Union conference in Birmingham. Guido’s cider drinking co-conspirator in the room reports that the Secretary of State for the Enviroment told the farmers that “responsible genetic modification” will be key to “sustainable agriculture in the future”.

Surely giving plants steroids is just cheating?


  1. 1
    Darwin says:

    What’s new?

  2. 2
    Hippy says:

    You mean she is on drugs ;)

  3. 3
    Spartacus says:

    wing of bat, eye of newt, tongue of dog and similar were never meant to be part of a plant.

  4. 4
    John Bercow says:

    Is that it?

    Getting a Super-Injucntion for that seems a bit like cracking a walnut with a sledgehammer…

    It’ll be a bigger story now. Fool.

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    She’s so in it for number one, she could be Labour.

  6. 6
    Gonk says:

    Quite right Fawkes. They’ll grow tits and die from a heart attack at 35.

  7. 7
    Spartacus says:

    no, more like getting backhanders from the likes of what was once called monsanto

  8. 8
    misterned says:

    They are letting script kiddies play around with the most incredible and complex and fantastic code on earth, without having a clue about what most of it actually does. the knock-on effects are incalculable.

  9. 9
    Rh- says:

    these genetic modification feckers are going to wipe out mankind … if the nanotech doesnt get us!

  10. 10
    Rat's arse says:

    Oh Guido, what a wag you are! Hope your ‘co-conspirator’ didn’t try to muscle in [so to speak] on the conversation.

  11. 11
    Darwin says:

    Misterned = Missinformed

  12. 12
    Rat's arse says:

    Guido, been modded – don’t know why! All I said was hope your co-conspirator didn’t try to m.u.s.c.l.e. in on the conversation! What did I say wrong?

  13. 13
    Loungelizard says:

    Half of the people working on this stuff are on the WorkFare Scheme. Scares the hell out of me.

  14. 14
    Spartacus says:

    Misterned = informed

  15. 15
    smiley says:

    Βillу’s been banned and you’re well on your way.

  16. 16
    Spartacus says:

    sorry all, just realised that ‘darwin’ is the monsanto troll here

  17. 17
    Tuscan Tony says:

    “Surely giving plants steroids is just cheating?”

    It also makes winkles shrivel thereby reducing one’s chance of becoming a granny.

  18. 18

    Well she would say that wouldn’t she as her and hubby own the biggest GM crop company in the country
    Think of all that government research money !

  19. 19
    Ian-Junction says:

    LOL Guido.

    How’s Jonny these days?

  20. 20
    Watcher says:

    I seem to recall that you have been told that statement is wrong.

  21. 21
    Jonny says:

    The drugs ain’t working

  22. 22
    Stepney says:

    Nice one. Son.

  23. 23
    Darwin says:

    Try Syngenta. And No I’m in Restaurant Management, but read with an open mind


    Get back to me when you have fully assimilated the science and it’s development

  24. 24
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    no conflict of interest here Dave !
    Nothing to see here move along !


  25. 25
    Another Engineer says:

    Really? You share 50-60% of your DNA with a banana.

    I’m 100% sure that’s not what Guido is on about though ;) Google knows…

  26. 26
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Listen mate
    Some Twat on the box last night Grew a beefburger in a test tube from stem cells and he actually took a bit of it ! Gross !

    Only cost £200,000 and he didn’t even finish it !

  27. 27
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Doesn’t say much for her parenting skills.

    Makes a change from Ryan G taking out injunctions.

  28. 28
    Embarrassing relatives says:

    Do any of you have family members who hold totally opposite political views to you? I have two brothers who are such lefties, it turns my stomach. Trying to have a reasoned debate with them is pointless because they deploy such utter bollocks in their arguments.

  29. 29
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Milord, is your statement really true? Isn’t that a resignation issue? Or am I just old-fashioned?

  30. 30
    Express Newspapers says:

    He’s only 17, but he feels a lot older

  31. 31
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Dave knew this before he appointed her !
    Jolly hockey sticks and all that !

  32. 32
    Selohesra says:

    dont worry it was just the green vegatable curse again in spe@k

  33. 33
    Rat's arse says:

    My Pa was the same E.R. and when he realized he’d lost a particular argument, he would walk off in a huff. I found a swift kick in his nuts stopped him in his tracks!

  34. 34
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Yip, one (an LSE graduate, actually blamed England for starting the second world war).

    You can choose your friends but you are stuck with relatives.

  35. 35
    Selohesra says:

    Surely you should grow beef burger in petri dish rather than test tube – that way you get the right shape

  36. 36
    keddaw says:

    Steroids != GM
    GM != Bad
    Spelman != Sense
    Politicians == Corruption

  37. 37
    Frank N Stein says:

    He was probably scared it was going to bite him back.

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    Let me guess. You’re the high-flyer with the science degree and the well-paid job and they’re the ones with the History and Geography degrees who became school teachers.

  39. 39
    Do you have a licence for that TV? says:

    But she has already transferred all of her shares to her hubby, so how could there be any conflict of interests?


  40. 40
    The German off the Fawlty Towers sketch says:

    You started it.

  41. 41
    David Miliband says:

    Tell me about it.

  42. 42
    Badger says:

    Seems that both genetic modification and steroids are acceptable in the Spelman household

  43. 43
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Perhaps she should have thought about genetic modification before she had Johnny. :0)

  44. 44
    The Fog says:

    Started what?

  45. 45
    JM says:

    Depends which muscle site he is using. Sometimes he is as old as 25.

  46. 46
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Oh so thats ok then she won’t profit one penny by selling the shares to her hubby nor will he get any preferential treatment with the contracts !
    thats good i’ll sleep better now !

  47. 47
    Southern Belle says:

    You should meet my son-in-law. Can’t ask him the time of day, he’ll just blame Thatcher. Not only that he believes that Noah lived to be 800.

  48. 48
    dr. sipp says:

    do the farmers union sponsor english rugby?

  49. 49
    jgm2 says:

    It’s situations like this that play right into the hands of the bedwetters.

    Lets be honest. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was some Labour minister recommending heaps of taxpayer’s money be spent on something their husband just happened to have a several million pound interest in we’d be going berserk.

    And rightly so.

  50. 50
    MacNero, Emperor of Scotland says:

    No need to worry about GM crops. I was in Tesco’s this morning and a cauliflower told me that it’s all OK.

  51. 51
    jgm2 says:

    Not only that he believes that Noah lived to be 800.

    Tell him he should forgive Thatch her ‘sins’ then. Him being Christian and all. Or perhaps he isn’t. The J*ws and the other religion of pe*a*ce belive all that shit too don’t they.

  52. 52
    The German off the Fawlty Towers sketch says:

    The war.

  53. 53
    Southern Belle says:

    Like most self-confessed Christians he doesn’t walk-the walk. I’m an atheist and believe I’m more Christian than him.

  54. 54
    Front row says:

    You obviously have a cauliflower ear.

  55. 55
    Tuscan Tony says:

    £200k, Frankie? I hope it was Kobe for that money, and lots of it.

  56. 56
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    There is nothing more satisfying than talking about charity. Talk and talk and talk till the fucking cows come home but their money stays firmly in their pockets.

    To a socialist, talking about charity is the SAME as giving.

  57. 57
    Hugh G Reckshun says:

    We have been enjoying genetically modified crops for years. The long strawed wheat that cropped half ton per acre 40 years ago, is now short strawed and cropping at five tons. How exactly do you thing this came about, along with blight resistant this, mould resistant that and black spot resistant other.

  58. 58
    Enoch says:

    I’m not dead yet.

  59. 59
    jgm2 says:

    Sounds like the c*unt is just winding you up. Noah lived to be 800. Maybe. If the old Je*w*ish ‘year’ was actually what we now call a month. Which makes sense. Even 1400 years ago when the sex-crazed bedouin was making up his new religion the dumb fuckers couldn’t figure out how long a year was and so the new religion of pe*a*ce had to work with a lunar calendar.

    Which is why all their festivals march forward three or four weeks every year.

    800/12 = 67 (ish) years. Or, more accurately 800/13 = 62 (ish).

    That’s more like it.

    800 years old. My arse.

  60. 60
    jgm2 says:

    And tomatoes that last in the fridge for weeks. Marvellous.

  61. 61
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Not to mention all the genetic engineering of farmyard animals over the centuries. Cows that produce more milk for example.

    And to think the mechanism (genes) was worked out by Gregor Mendel and his p-ea experiments. A great man 100 years ahead of his time.

  62. 62
    Johnny Walker says:

    Try spinach, it’s legal

  63. 63
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Can’t these corrup people be transported to St Kilda to break rocks for eternity?

  64. 64
    Mine d'Boggles says:


  65. 65
    huwwuh says:

    I think the genetic modification she likes should be tested on her. Introduce some wisdom maybe.

  66. 66
    Widescreen2010 says:

    And there’s the nub.
    GM companies claim they’re trying to feed the starving millions.
    But that is just bollocks.
    There’s plenty of food-production capacity in the world.
    The starving are a feature of economics / politics, not a lack of GM grain.
    You will note that Monsanto is not giving it away.
    Just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should.
    Even if you can turn a profit in doing so.

  67. 67
    a fluorescent mouse says:

    Genetic selection and genetic modification are two very different things.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    Just read this …… ahhhhhh that’s another injunction blown

  69. 69
    Ah! Monika says:

    Genes are modified all the time by radiation, there’s a few being modified in you at the moment. Who knows you may live to be 300 and produce a race of superhumans
    Then again……

  70. 70
    Monopolists R Us says:

    Modified crops are ok in principle, rice being a prime example of how to increase yields per acre, but Monsanto and their ilk remove the possibility of reproduction from their seeds so once a farmer harvests his crop he has to go cap in hand to Monsanto for another load of seeds, which of course he has to pay through the nose for, instead of saving some seed from the previous harvest for replanting. That to me is unacceptable in both principle and human terms. Spelman should be booted out to the Ministry of Weaving or something. Time Camoron got a grip on his colleagues.

  71. 71
    For the record says:

    I*lamic festivals march forward 11 days per year. Thought you’d like to know that.

  72. 72
    Ah! Monika says:

    Just wondering if your moniker is as a result of selection, modification or exaggeration?

  73. 73
    Ah! Monika says:

    They say that eating too little genetically modified food can lead to shortsightedness.

  74. 74
    Marie Stopes says:

    Was her son genetically modified so he now looks preggers … oops I think I really have just broken the Super Duper Up the (In) Junction .

  75. 75

    Plants don’t do steroids, Guido. Those are chemical-messenger-molecules used in animals only. But plants do have hormones although not quite as we know them. Furthermore, if we can give a strain of plant one or more genes to make the plant do more of what we want it to, then we should.

  76. 76

    We now know everything about this code. We decrypted the StaliNazis’ codes by inventing computers to do just that, and people like me (but not me myself, since they are younger than me) have invented machines to decrypt the genetic code too.

  77. 77
    jimbo says:

    Not a good idea Ms Spelman, forget it, we British want no part of Monsanto’s bid to take over including the world. I do hope that you have no ambition of becoming an employee of Monsanto or indeed a secret empoyee. One other thing can anyone tell me if it is true that D,Cameron had his leadership campaign paid for by an arms dealer donor ? and also has arms dealers paid into the coffers of the Conservative party ? I would like to know if this is true, if it is then it explains a great deal as to why we tax payers paid heavily for regime change in Libya and now have sights on Iran and Syria, Truth please .

  78. 78
    jimbo says:

    Thats fine provided it does’nt turn out like Ms Spelman !

  79. 79
    jimbo says:

    The GM produced tomato that I bought last year continued growing in the fridge and burst the sides out of it, so the moral behind taking on GM food is to buy a bigger fridge !

  80. 80
    Spartacus says:

    so you work in monsanto’s restaurant

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    Er, has Caroline Spelman by any chance had genetic modification, just asking

  82. 82
    Dreary Steeples says:

    Genital modification more like, her pathway to ‘sustainable agriculture’ will leave us with a septic isle rather than a green and pleasant land in the future.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    The lack of transport is the root cause of starvation. The only way GM will feed the world is by giving crops legs so thay can walk to where they need to be.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Is the last one conditional? Syntax error?

  85. 85

    You truly think the Spelman injunction was over a begging letter for free “gear”?

  86. 86
    The biggest huhne is banned from this blog says:

    He has been banned. Not even his best fake (and that was me) is allowed to post using his “monkier”. He is now using lots of different names so he is not banned again. Glad to see the back of the huhne. Wish he would take a full refund etc ;)

  87. 87
    Ayn Rand's bagman says:

    It’s most unfair to question Spelman’s commitment to British agriculture. She’s laboured long and hard to ensure that her son has the sort of physique that would make him a good farm worker.

  88. 88
    Taxfodder says:

    Now correct me if wrong but I was sure Mr Spelman has or had a business interest in this type of thing.

    As for Nannygate Caroline, everybody knows she preferes the inside track.

    The Spelmans are always worth watching in their gormless antics and hapless attemps to suck a little more out of the system.

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers