February 16th, 2012

Taxi for Mr Huhne

The controversial extra-marital affairs dating agency AshleyMadison.com has found a new name to promote their service, having previously used Boris Johnson to front their advertising campaigns they have now switched to Chris Huhne for promotional purposes.

Obviously this is not intended to be a long-term campaign…

The dating site is offering to provide the fast-moving MP with a full-time driver and specially-designed taxi for him to call upon whenever he should wish. Ashleymadison.com, which launched last year in the UK, has written to the former Energy Secretary offering him an exclusive means of transport whilst he is out on bail so he can avoid any further speeding penalties. The decision to offer him a black cab was based upon a poll of its 400,000 members, CEO Noel Biderman says “Setting politics to one side, Chris Huhne has done what plenty of married couples no doubt do every day…” Well up to a point(s)…

UPDATE 10.15: After a ten minute preliminary hearing this morning, Pryce and Huhne were given unconditional bail and told to reappear at Southwark Crown Court on March 2. “The rule in this court is defendants whoever they are & whatever process they came into the court by, they are in the dock.”


116 Comments

  1. 1
    Latimer Alder says:

    The only taxi I’d order for Huhne is the one that takes him straight to Wormwood Scrubs for an extended period.

    At or below the legal speed limit of course

    • 19
      Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

      HOW MANY have to be brought before the courts, before the people work out that if you aren’t a fraudster lying C-nt you cant get covered by the Global media machine. WHAT HAPPENED TO David Davis when he mentioned that the Police State apparatus is going to far.
      What happened to Robin Cook when he questioned the WAR and pointed out that Osama Bin Laden was a creation of the CIA. Yeah he had the same heartattack that Smith had that opened the way for BLIAR and his mate Mandelbum to take power. Did any one work out like the USSR. The State can’t manage Capitalism and will break it. OH! Bit late they already have QUANGO building useless C-nts. All part of the same Ponzi scheme

      • 28
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        Tricky gits. making out scotsmen die of heart attacks.

        • 34
          Gordon Brown says:

          Ay’ it’s b’cos as a Nation, we’re pash’nat aboot things!

          • David laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

            Would it be a taxi or private hire? Huhne might even get this wrong and land the company in trouble.

        • 54
          Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

          Believe me its not that difficult, Its probably a bit harder organising a car crash.

        • 58
          Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

          Studies have found that exposure to high intensity ultrasound at frequencies from 700 kHz to 3.6 MHz can cause lung and intestinal damage in mice. Heart rate patterns following vibroacoustic stimulation has resulted in serious negative consequences such as atrial flutter and bradycardia

        • 61
          Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

          Focusing the sound beam into a stream is not difficult but not in the public domain.

          • Gilbert Fiddler says:

            Can you use that sort of technology to stop gormless yobs squawking down their mobile phones, so everyone has to put up with their tiresome gibberish?

          • Anonymous says:

            And exposure to sound waves at the natural frequency of the bowel causes people to sh*t themselves. Why is this not used for riot control?

      • 97
        Shoot the lot of them says:

        Abolutely bang on old chap

    • 29
      Bystander #4 says:

      With who(m) driving?

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Your fax isn’t working.

  3. 3
    Peter says:

    Huhne will get away with it.

    • 36
      Audience says:

      Oh no he won’t!

    • 86
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      Is Vicky pleads guilty, then Huhne is fucked!!

      Like it!!

      • 104
        Anonymous says:

        Over years gone by Sir Barrington I have gained the impression that the majority of law breakers who realise they have been caught dead to rights do not plead “guilty” other than when they have a deal arranged for a lenient sentence.
        If Sir, & I repeat if, Vicky comes into this category surely the ex hubby cannot be treated more harshly, irrespective of his plea?

    • 98
      Moscow Mike Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

      Chris has the whole country behind him, although I wish he had taken my advice – when the wife catches you out shagging another woman, don’t divorce her or she will extract revenge, just buy her a new car and a makeover, on expenses, like I do.

    • 106
      Ed Millibanbandwagon says:

      He was driving to far & to fast

  4. 4
    Jack Crapp Was The Greatest Umpire Of All Time (But Billy Bowden Is The Crappest) says:

    In a short hearing this morning, Mr Huhne was asked merely to confirm his name and address, which he gave as Ms Vicky Pryce of Clapham, South London.

  5. 5
    sockpuppet #1916 says:

    It will all be over by christmas.

  6. 6
    Gilbert Fiddler says:

    Shurely the bird in the dating agency ad underneath your post couldn’t drive in those high heels!

    Or am I missing the point here…

  7. 7
    Jack Crapp Was The Greatest Umpire Of All Time (But Billy Bowden Is The Crappest) says:

    In a short hearing this morning, Mr Huhne was asked simply to confirm his name and address, which he gave as Ms Vicky Pryce of Clapham, South London.

  8. 10
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    A free taxi whenever he wants one. Seems being a failed MP has plenty of perks.

    Hope they throw the book at him.

  9. 11
    Somebody Has To Tell 'Em says:

    O/t but I see thankfully Nigel has been out again.

  10. 12
    Tony Eden from Eton says:

    The entire system of asking people to self certify their guilt for moving RTA offences and send money to the State whilst at the same time warning of dire consequences if they do not is a system which has no place in a modern just and democratic society.

    It is an abusive use of State power

  11. 13

    Hey mayey peeps! Where is a all of the benefits cheque? Its Thursday! Giro day! We here in Greece need 130 billion euros super quick, innit? Hurry up and send the dosh or we crash all o’ da Europe into the blockable toilet.
    OK?

    And send an’nudda one next thursday and every thursday until 2025, too, Ok..Ta!

    • 20
      Tony Eden from Eton says:

      If there is a Greek default then those Banks will be able to claim on their insurance default swops.

      Their balance sheets will look Ok and if Governments dont like it then the Banks will pay a bit of Corporation Tax as they used to do in the Blair days.

      The Greek people will be able to deflate away their debts and everything in the garden will start smelling of roses again unless you live in a high rise in Athens.

      The EU do a very nice line in tear gas.

      • 25
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        To deflate away your debts is OK when you don’t want to buy stuff from the rest of the world.

        Otherwise, you’ll still feel poor when you buy petrol.

        • 43
          Cynical-old-bag says:

          If we can still get petrol.

          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            OK then. never mind beans and gold – have you got yourself a donkey and a rowing boat?

          • Cynical-old-bag says:

            It’s easy for you to make jokes. If you saw it with your own eyes you would think differently. People are st*rving in the streets. People are being s*ot for the little money they have in their pockets. There is no welfare state.

          • Ivor Tapeworm says:

            The CDSs will kick in only if the private sector haircut is genuinely voluntary too. Otherwise the the bank’s insurance will be paid fuck all. Rest assured that hidden hands are doing their best to make sure CDSs do not have to pay out.

            If CDSs do pay out, countries that issued a lot of them include Spain, the UK and US I believe.

            If Greece leaves the Euro, any remaining debt will still be denominated in Euros. It will probably default on the lot.

            If Greece defaults, then Ireland, Portugal, Spain and Italy will be tempted to too.

            Anyway, the Greeks haven’t had all the money from the last bailout yet. The chance of them getting all of the new bailout are zilch.

            I also expect that certain bankers would be prepared to fund a military coup in Greece and are probably discussing it already. Might be a good way of discouraging other countries from leaving the Euro too.

            Kiss goodbye to any vestige of democracy in Europe.

      • 41
        Cynical-old-bag says:

        I can assure you that the Gr**k garden will not smell of roses for a very long time.

        Things will get much, much, worse before they get better.

        • 76
          Another tired out old bastard sleepwalking to death says:

          I couldn’t give a flying fuck about the greecers.

        • 80
          labourunionsbbc we are one says:

          One things for certain as soon as they exit the eur o tourisim will rocket up, folk will be gagging for a cheap holiday, just like it used to be. And that will have a positive effect on villa/holiday lets prices and local produce.

          • Ivor Tapeworm says:

            Perhaps.

            One thing for sure… there will be no Germans in the hotels. Unless they like phlegm and piss in their soup each evening (and a bread roll).

      • 93
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

        In that case the problem will be with the people who wrote the default swaps – maybe the same bank or even a non-bank institution – it was AIG that nearly pulled the whole thing down in 2008.

  12. 15
    Yellow Trait says:

    Have to say, accused of being a pervert is very apt for a Liberal MP.

  13. 17
    Financial Mis Conduct says:

    What the hell are they using those nobodies for?
    Jacqui Smith PHWOAR! She would bring the punters in!

  14. 18
    Lord Stansted says:

    Only a hune would have an affair with Huhne.

  15. 21
    Nigel Doughty's Ghost says:

    Hunhe is a kant and he has come a cropper.

  16. 22
    Synic says:

    Your tumbrel’s waiting outside, Mr.Huhne.

    • 24
      It doesn't add up... says:

      Meanwhile at the BBC it’s K1 P1 K2tog psso K1 P1 to end of row

      • 30
        who why what where when says:

        Is the whole of BBC news enjoying half term on the piste?
        R4 Today consisted on some non-news about North Korea and a bloke who’s donated a kidney.

        • 45
          The BBC says:

          What we’re basically doing is, we’re doing this basically so we can literally bring you the basic troof about literally what is going on. So what we gonna do, first, is basically take the noos from here and move it literally over there. Then when it’s there, we literally bring it here, – basically here and there.

          Geddit?

          Now pay yer bleedin telly tax

      • 44
        Loungelizard says:

        Madame Dfarage will be using a BBC Pattern.

    • 47
      Mr.Huhne says:

      Right or left hand drive?

  17. 23
    Airey Belvoir says:

    If Vicky pleads guilty to this, which would get her a lower penalty, then Huhne is toast. How could he convince a jury that his wife was falsely admitting to a serious offence that she had not actually committed?

    • 35
      Boudicca says:

      Is it too much to expect that in court both of them would simply tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

      • 46
        Barreness Moron says:

        Nope!

        • 55
          Ichabod says:

          Whats the likelihood that if , by some ‘chance’,Huhne did get off, then Wavey Davey, our spineless Premier, would make room for him to rejoin the Cabinet in a subsequent reshuffle. Hopefully none, but with Dave boy you just dont know…,

    • 53
      Some Geezer wot's a fan of real-life film-noir-type stories says:

      You never know what some women are liable to do to get back at a boyfriend/husband, up to and including taking a rap just to see him get worse; take Laverne Pavlinac (third paragraph in):
      http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/notorious/killers_wh_surrender/10.html
      He’ll claim “woman scorned,” won’t he now? And he’s got a point, hasn’t he, though? (And I’m not referring to the one atop his head, either.)

      • 65
        Lt. Col. Prowd-Bollards says:

        ‘Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned’
        (William Congreve)

    • 60

      Quango-Carthorse-Tuppence-Cock
      Lawyers to people richer than you

      M’lud. I believe the ‘wronged by vindictive harpy’ defence is appropriate here.
      I refer to the legal ruling ‘Hell hath no fury’ and will further present incontrovertible medical evidence that women are irrational,jealous,hormonal maniacs who would happily throw a treasured heirloom into a wall just because their hair won’t curl in a certain way.

      I am aware, as I am sure you are m’lud, that the pretty ones are the most insane.
      However we shall demonstrate that Ms Pryce is the exception that proves the rule.

      If I may..exhibit A -some items inexplicable for a rational person; taken from Ms Pryce’s apartment.
      The DVD Mama Mia.
      A £75 pot of L’oreal face cream ‘it really does prevent aging’
      & ‘a book .. the Atkins diet’

  18. 27
    Realistic says:

    It’s clear that Chris is going to fight all the way, costing the taxpayer a lot of money in prosecution costs, only part of which – at best – are recoverable.

    Meanwhile it seems that Vicky is going to plead guilty; she should get off relatively lightly with minimal cost to the public purse.

    So, why don’t we prosecute Vicky and cease the case against Chris.

    If we accept that the impact on Chris’s career has already been substantial then both prosecuted parties can be considered to have been penalised and everyone has satisfaction.

    Honour satisfied all around. No need for a (costly) witchhunt.

  19. 38
    Diane Fatbott says:

    Taxis never stop for me.

  20. 48
    Parker, Lady Penelope's Driver says:

    Huhne -> Hoon. The smuggest, smarmiest, most self-regarding politico since…

  21. 49
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Dear Chris,

    Am getting the bunting out in anticipation of your incarceration vindication.

    Am writing to Gordon Brown to ask him to wish you well.

  22. 59
    annette curton says:

    Sergeant Dixon of docked Green: Well there you have, the Huhne was a wrong ‘un all along, mind how you go and good evenin’ all, (salutes).

  23. 64
    Red Ken ( pond life ) Livingscum says:

    Councillor Shiria Khatun, spokeswoman for the Labour group, is equally adamant that she will support his mayoralty bid. “Ken is a living ‘ legend bellend down here in Tower Hamlets, where people are more interested in issues that affect them on a daily basis, such as housing and fares,” she says.

    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard-mayor/article-24035919-kens-friends-in-the-east.do

    • 67
      annette curton says:

      Ken suffering from a lack of mayoralty, mayoralty FFS where has that adjective come from, Fox news?.

    • 90
      Bogeyman says:

      Yes, Ken. That’s because you are a lying toad who is relying on their short attention span to push your crap about keeping bus fares down.

      “Ken am savin me da munnies when I is goin to collect da Giro. Ken am awsum dude”

  24. 69
    Max says:

    So what’s the link between Jailbait and Jonny Spelman?

  25. 70
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am shitting nuggets

  26. 72
    Penfold says:

    What!!?, no special favours for Vicky, disgraceful, afterall she is a “WhistleBlower” and should be protected after turning Queen’s Evidence.

  27. 89
    inside- out says:

    Huhne would claim woman scorned as defence. If she did plead guilty, and he is subsequently found guilty, does he get charged with perjury ?

  28. 91
    JH says:

    Is it just me, or has resident guest leftard Jimmy caught a case of STFU since Huhne was successfully sniped out of Guido’s crosshairs?

    He did seem to rather enjoy sneering about the time it was taking for Huhne’s case to get to court, gleefully assuming the oily bastard had got away with it.

    Poor guy. It’s probably all he had left.

  29. 94
    albacore says:

    “whatever process they came into the court by, they are in the dock.
    ”No kidding, bloke? Well, pardon me, girls and boys, if I just have to mock.
    Rumour has it there’s a trial in Liverpool
    But if you believe that, you’re shirley a fool
    For how come, in England, in Year Two of Our Dave
    Big Society hero and everyone’s fave
    Could it be that they’re holding so secret a court
    That not one reporter is allowed to report?

    • 101
      Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

      Trying to prevent street riots. What has England come to?

      • 112
        Ivor Tapeworm says:

        The self-propelled tazers, lazer blinding guns and nerve agents are on order but haven’t been delivered yet. Then the Government will be ready.

  30. 95
    Vicki Points says:

    If I plead guilty, that should fix the shyster ex-husband of mine.

  31. 99
    pissed off voter says:

    Nice to see the Huhnes are courting again.

  32. 105
    Roger The lodger says:

    He’ll be assigned to work in the kitchens. Daily meat & two veg round the rear.

  33. 107
    Freedom to choose says:

    Crap taxis. A dating agency for the USSR. Fuck off!

  34. 108
    Brown's shitst@ins says:

    What a hoon!

  35. 114
    john in cheshire says:

    AshleyMadison.com. I hope they lose business because of this ridiculous effort. If they want to ingratiate themselves with the English peoples then they might consider banning Mr Huhne and Ms Pryce from using their services. They’d probably gain the support of over 90% of the indigenous English population.

  36. 116
    PC clitoris says:

    should stick him on a motorised fanny the blokes one big fcuking cock


Seen Elsewhere

Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP
Andrew Pierce v Owen Jones | MediaGuido
Last Person the Leave the EU Please Turn Out the Lights | Speccie
Porn Without Borders | The Local
Why Tax Cuts Pay for Themselves | Nick Wood
North Korean Heavies Target Ealing Hairdresser | Standard
Tax Cuts Make Us All Richer | Alex Brummer
Sex, Booze and Power Play | Sophy Ridge
Deferential Democracy is Dead | Douglas Carswell
Clegg’s Taxpayer Funded Strategist | Sun
Farage is Still a Politician | Times


new-advert
Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)


Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads