February 13th, 2012

Incompetence Rather Than Infighting


Chris Leslie MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury Minister, in response to today’s Project Merlin figures said: 
“After a year it’s now clear that George Osborne’s backroom deal with the banks has been a total failure… et cetera


Commenting on the Project Merlin figures published by the Bank of England today, Shadow Business Secretary Chuka Umunna MP said:
“The news that the lending targets for small and medium sized businesses set under Project Merlin have been missed will add insult to injury for firms… et cetera

Labour are denying that their flurry of press releases represents a rift between their Shadow Business and Shadow Treasury teams. Chuka is higher up the ladder than Chris Leslie so could well be a little peeved that his much-loved thunder was stolen. However if it isn’t a rift, then it’s another sign of increasingly poor press management. Another win for the mythical Labour grid…


  1. 1
    Well says:

    Just lying and incompatant, they are politicons.

    and zero policy.

  2. 2
    Stop Stealing Our Money says:

    Lending is only 99 point something percent of the target. Since when did Labour ever manage to come that close to meeting a target.

  3. 3
    Robert Catesby says:

    Labour in being shit at stuff shocker.

    Who’d have thought.

  4. 4
    ToonBob... says:

    I ‘ate Liebour.

  5. 5
    Martin says:

    Doesn’t mean that everyone who applied for a loan didn’t get one ?

  6. 6
    Bongler says:

    If these people can’t even co-ordinate a press release, imagine how useless they’d be trying to run a government department.

  7. 7
    Rachel Reeves says:

    I’m the boss of these fuckers. They should of left it me the stupid fuckers.

  8. 8
    blog admin says:

    You’re banned btw.

  9. 9
    Dudley Zoo says:

    really, small business does not give a fuck which bunch of wankers are in government

    All Governments hate small business

  10. 10
    the poofy knob wots been banned says:

    ‘Incompetence’ is written above and you still spell incompetent incorrectly you incompetent twat.

  11. 11
    Penfold says:

    So Project merlin figures miss target. Big deal.

    Banks are not in the game of lending money to losers, well certainly not now, having committed the offence of bad credit decision making and wrecking balance sheets, they will only lend securely and safely.
    Any government expecting banks to lend recklessly again, after a serious credit event as we have had, has got to be totally disconnected with reality.

    The whole idea was stupid from the start and the sort of reaction and plan you expect from an autarchy, which last tinme I checked, this country hadn’t yet become.

    If Westminster wants wider lending then it make the write off procedures easier, whilst revising laws.

    Anf there’s fat chance of that happening with this coalition.

  12. 12
    not the bbc says:


    Labour are incompetent.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Jeremy Kyle and Will Smith?

  14. 14
    Hang The Bastards says:


    Useless, clueless, shallow, wide of the mark, ineffective, self serving, irritating, pointless, fuckwit.

    This no hoped fails to see that lending was nearly there. Not having a clue about business because he has never built anything before, he fails to see that most people approaching banks do so in such a poorly, unprepared shambolic manner.

    Cheap shot, bandwagon merchant.

    Of course Chucka-Khan would have use believe that if he was in charge all this would be sorted, or would it Chucka ???

  15. 15
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:


  16. 16
    amongomous says:

    The one on the right is Kif from Futurama,not sure about the prick on the left

  17. 17
    Hang The Bastards says:

    how many suitable names can be think of that best fit with Chuka?


  18. 18
    The Liebour Party says:

    We always hit our ‘imported voter’ quota

  19. 19
    Hang The Bastards says:


  20. 20
    Lord Wayne of trombone says:

    both wankers

  21. 21
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Why should anybody in the UK excepting their paid client voters believe anything these Labour repeat failures say or propose to do is beyond me! It is the unanswered question!

  22. 22
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Did anyone watch Brillo on Sunday. Tom Watson MP (the new creapy quiet version) was interviewed by Brillo who questioned him about his £100,000 expenses claim for a flat. Watson said it wan’t quite as high as the figure Brillo gave, and then just laughed about it.
    Nice to have it confirmed how two faced Watson is, and what a large shit he is to boot.
    Still Watson only talks about the Murdochs, no mention of other media hackers.

  23. 23
    Lord Wayne of trombone says:

    I see what you have done there… very clever
    Pop singer and a part of his name

    1 Reichtsmark to you, Sir. 1 to you.

  24. 24
    amongomous says:


  25. 25
    Diane Fatbott says:

    Chris Leslie is playing ‘Divide and Rule’.

  26. 26
    Greychatter says:

    Politicians like these two haven’t a clue about running a business or employing anyone. Banks over the last 10/15 years have stopped being Banks in the tue sense of the words and have become money machines for an elite few at the top.
    Anyone with a small business will be living within their own means and sitting tight. When Governments start to realise that growth in the economy comes from the bottom of the pile not from printing money, things might start to change.

  27. 27
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Leslie and Umunna, what a slimey pair of shits. They speak, they lie.

  28. 28
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Leslie and Umunna, what a slimey pair of shits. They s p e a k, they lie.

  29. 29
    Displaced Brummie. says:

    Or an example of incompetent infighting, perhaps?

  30. 30
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Fuck off with your p e a moderation. Fucking pathetic.

  31. 31
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Chris Leslie displays great judgment. He married one of my Spads.

  32. 32
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Umunna to Leslie. Does the chip on my shoulder look big in this suit?

  33. 33
    Totty Watch says:

    Guido, how did you miss this? Boris’s fragrant sister Rachel was in the Evening Standard magazine recently looking mighty sexy. Forget Sally Bercow, I’ll take Rachel any day.

  34. 34
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Chuka upa my gutsa.

  35. 35
    JH says:

    It irritates in particular because it exists purely to prevent a certain Bo’ Selecta inspired attack on Di-an-e race-hustler Ab-bot.

  36. 36
    up yer trumpet says:

    you too perv

  37. 37
    I am an Ugly Bastard says:

    This place B_O_R_E_S me

  38. 38
    Ed Miliband says:


  39. 39
    Andrew Efiong says:

    No need to imagine, look at the mess they made the last time!

  40. 40
    Not A Banker says:

    Appears to me that a shortfall of less than 1% of the target is not a TOTAL failure.

    If the Banks had lent 1% above the target would Labour be saying this a TOTAL success?

  41. 41
    Mindless profanity says:


  42. 42
    Some Geezer wot knows that how you stop Labour is to let Labour be Labour says:

    Will Rogers once observed that he belonged to no organised political party– he was a Democrat! Mutatis mutandis “Labour.” (Who are pretty much mutants anyway.)

  43. 43
    Blue Swede says:

    Huhne-ga huhne-ga huhne-ga Chuka!

  44. 44
    The Paragnostic says:

    Upchuck Obama.

    Except that Obama at least read law at Harvard, while Upchuck could only manage Manchester and Nottingham.

    A pale imitation of a cut-price Messiah.

  45. 45
    The Paragnostic says:

    Upchuck’s got lots of experience with employment – well, tribunals anyway. He was an employment lawyer before he started his inexorable climb up the greasy pole that is New Labour affirmative action.

    You have a good point though – when the BoE are giving clear signals that the base rate will remain low for the forseeable future, it makes sense to defer any borrowing as long as possible since there is no fear of rate rises making it less palatable later. The strategy of low interest rates combined with excessive business taxation and regulation is in fact a barrier to growth, rather than an incentive. Too many Labour placemen remain on the MPC – Keynsians all.

  46. 46
    The stench of hypocrisy... says:

    The BBC hasn’t quite cottoned on to the fact that the call for bonuses in organisations publicly funded by the taxpayerto be cut(stopped) and a review of salaries be undertaken applies to them and are enthusiastically backing such moves…(for the moment until the penny drops that is)

  47. 47
    albacore says:

    Project Merlin?
    Erm, Project Merlin.
    I see.
    I’ve lost track of who’s playing at being Chancellor these days. Presumably Dave got the Guinevere part. (Unless they’re all running around in circles, pretending to be Spitfires, of course).

  48. 48
    Spartacus says:

    but have you seen the tractor stats?

  49. 49
    Inform yourselves says:

    Google liverpool 47 muslims

  50. 50
    noone says:

    incompteance… where twice as much coverage from BBC and guardian and guido…

    non-story – move along

  51. 51
    Rachel Reeves says:

    Almost forgot my theme music:

  52. 52
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Another ex-lawyer becomes an MP.

    Why am I not surprised to hear that!

  53. 53
    ali alibi says:

    If he was in charge we’d ALL be wearing Armani.

  54. 54
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    I do not need a fuckin half wit socialist in a suit to tell me Osborne’s dealings with the Bank’s are a failure.

    If he was doing a half decent job holding Gideon to account he would have clear answers to the following:

    1. How much money is the taxpayer down on Northern Crock including all toxic assets still with the taxpayer?

    2. Whether or not it is in the interests of taxpayers to seek to prescribe the executive workings of state owned banks and if so what should be the form of that prescription?

    3. Why has the 2% inflation target been consistently missed on a monthly basis by this Government and what action do the Socialists say should be taken to remedy the situation?

    4. Where are his detailed proposals for share option bonuses?

    Just stop trying to spoon feed us dollops and dollops of utter crap.

  55. 55
    Chuckus Yamoney says:

    The Business and Treasury brains of Poo Labour

    Chukka is a posh public school boy employment lawyer and Chris is a career politician (who was Charlie Falconer’s bag boy – so he is well acquainted with success – NOT).

    These two career “opposers” are now locked in a deadly battle to be the first in front of a microphone.

    It doesn’t matter if they spout rubbish or are immediately contradicted, because the lobby press have a memory measured in nanoseconds and a voracious soundbite appetite as they can no longer access MP and SpAd phone messages for the real griff.

    Heaven forbid Poo Labour (coz they really are shit) actually manages to give a brief to someone who actually has some relevant experience or even better an interest.

  56. 56
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Heaven forbid Labour actually manages to give a brief from someone who actually has some relevant experience.

  57. 57
    albacore says:

    Per BBC, 9 February: The Bank of England “added that without another stimulus from QE, inflation was likely to fall from its current 4.2% to below its 2% target, as rising unemployment and falling import and energy prices fell away, and as the VAT increase from 17.5% to 20% last January also dropped from the annual comparison.”


    Any further comment necessary?

  58. 58
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Actually, BiIIy is incontinent.

  59. 59
    Hugh Ameye says:

    Buy some pads from the chemist.

  60. 60
    Baron Hogwash says:

    This gag I heard a while back in reference to boundary changes where Chukka could be fighting for same seat as that other great brain of labour Khan somebody.

  61. 61
    Ian Jeopardy says:

    Tonto did, but then he’s mates with the Loan Arranger.

  62. 62
    Ian Amess says:

    And soon to be an ex-MP as well one would hope

  63. 63
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Hmmm… not sure about that, P. It might bring forward borrowing, reassured by the knowledge that there will be no hit on interest rates in the near future.

    The whole strategy is to inflate away Government debt and keep the house price bubble nominally inflated. The houseowners with £250k houses will still have houses ‘worth’ £250k, but will be too stupid to realise that £250k will be worth fuck all after a few years of inflation.

    Of course private debt will still remain because only the Government can print money. (Well, actually, my mate Derek can too but that’s a different story. The ink still smudges a bit though, he’s got to work on that).

  64. 64
    Dale says:

    And what did Triger have to say about this?

  65. 65
    Displaced Brummie. says:

    I misread that as Rectal Reeves. Then I thought, “yes, that’s about right.”

  66. 66
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Merv was consistently failing to meet interest rate targets long before the coalition came to power.

    Meeting the target is the one key metric that the BoE is supposed to hit.

  67. 67
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    And yeah, QE is designed to raise inflation. Not that they would admit it is the main object of QE.

  68. 68
    Gobbets Raw says:

    Q.E. That’s the Ticket .

  69. 69
    Some Geezer wot knows his old Western-movie cowboys says:

    You’re thinking of ROY Rogers. Or else you’ve been getting rogered a little too much lately.


  70. 70
    cheche says:

    Since when Have either of them manufactured anything except their own images

  71. 71
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Not really good judgment, he just needed a ‘beard’ for cover – wonder where he got that idea from ?
    Ask around, you’ll soon learn his natural inclinations.

  72. 72
    Ivor Biggun says:

    Chuka higher up the ladder? i thought he would have his foot on the bottom rung steadying it for the window cleaner!

  73. 73
    GodIHateTheBuggers says:

    Chuka Umunna is just another untalented over-promoted member of the chosen group who shouts over other people on interview. I would rather stick red hot pins in my own eyeballs than vote for that tosser.

  74. 74
    sandy says:

    There was me being told that it was irresponsible bank lending that caused the whole credit crisis and now the politicians are urging the banks to do it all over again. Brilliant! Surely lending money willy-nilly to risky companies is even more reckless in a period of low growth?

  75. 75
    sandy says:

    Come on Guido. Ask the questions that dishonest politicians and the BBC are too afraid to ask. Why do they think risking another banking crisis is a price worth paying for reckless bank lending in order to meet a political target?

  76. 76

    4 UMMA C PAWSZ@ O3.23


  77. 77
    ActiveMuscle says:

    In true politico style they forgot to mention that the only bank not meeting the lending target was the RBS, Labour’s favorite bank. Btw, wasn’t Hester hired by these idiots themselves?

Seen Elsewhere

Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath
Boris: Jihadis are W*nkers | Sun
Ed Miliband: International Sex Symbol | Telegraph
Javid: Let Tories Campaign For Out Vote | House
Ministry of Justice Loses Death Inquiry Data “In the Post” | TechnoGuido

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers