February 2nd, 2012

Huhne Reshuffle Mischief

The smart money is on Cameron not reshuffling until after the Olympics and opting for a quick yellow for yellow swap if Huhne is forced out, but that hasn’t stopped some intriguing ideas being floated around Tory circles. Firstly there was the hilarious “bigging up” of Sarah Teather, whose civil servants give a very different picture from the one painted in Black Dog:

“Small but perfectly formed Lib Dem Schools Minister Sarah Teather is being tipped by friends of Michael Gove to succeed Chris Huhne as Energy Secretary if he is forced to quit over his speeding offence wrangle. ‘Like most of us, Michael didn’t rate Sarah but he has changed his view after seeing how she sends mandarins twice her size packing,’ said a friend of Gove.”

Whoever Gove’s friend is, he’s a master of reverse psychology. Guido is sure that many tears will be shed if Sarah does move on from Education.

Today’s pipe dream is shifting Vince Cable from BIS over to DECC. There was vicious briefing against the Sage of Twickenham in the Sun today, with unknown Tory Ministers accusing him of stunting growth:

“Cable is obsessed with punishing the bankers — and little else.He has failed to deliver any meaningful strategy to help struggling British companies. Time is running out for us to get this right. We’re doing not nearly enough — and we won’t until Vince gets out of the way.”

Do they really want to put him in charge of growth-choking green-taxes?

With the announcement coming in the morning, in all likelihood it will be Ed Davey or Jeremy Browne laying awake in wonder tonight. There is talk of Norman Lamb and Jo Swinson moving up a rung as a result. Guido doubts we will see the return of David  Laws to the Cabinet, but he could well take the vacant Junior Minister slot. 


  1. 1
    Raving Loon says:

    Can’t we just abolish BIS and DECC completely? Do we even need those departments.


  2. 2
    Bongler says:

    Election time. Cameron would be justified in calling for a vote. Nobody trusts these pork pie merchants, fibbing one minute and sabotaging the economy the next.


    • 63
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      The problem for Cameron is, on fibbing, misleading and sabotage, he has plenty of ‘form’ himself.


  3. 3
    smoggie says:

    Would that we all were blessed with Liberal movements.


  4. 4
    Chris Huhne says:

    Ridin along in my automobile! My mistress beside me at the wheel!


    • 7
      I don't need no doctor says:

      The speed camera went zapp. Now we all smell a rat.


    • 122
      Mr. Putin's Stolen Cat says:


    • 123
      Eastleigh Rider says:

      Asked my wife if she’d answer for me
      I said, “Vicky, can’t you see
      I wanna be famous, and run energy
      But please, please do something to help me

      Vicky you can drive my car
      Even though it’s from afar
      Vicky, you can drive my car
      And Vicky I love you

      I told them all that my marriage was good
      Pure apple pie and motherhood
      You got three points and a fifity quid fine
      Your kept your licence and I kept mine

      Vicky you can drive my car
      Even though it’s from afar
      Vicky, you can drive my car
      And maybe I love you

      Cheat cheat’n cheat cheat yeah

      Vicky you can drive my car
      Even though it’s from afar
      Vicky, you can drive my car
      And maybe I love you

      Then it was time for me to go my own way
      So I said listen Vick I got something to say
      I’m leaving you cause I’m a real shit
      But you were my driver and took the hit

      Vicky you can drive my car
      Even though it’s from afar
      Vicky, you can drive my car
      And maybe I loved you

      Cheat cheat’n cheat cheat yeah!


    • 154
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      Rinding around in my new Range Rover Evoque
      Looking for young girls to pick up and poke.


  5. 5
    misterned says:

    How fucking depressing. Whilst I would be delighted to see the green fascist sacked and out of the cabinet, he can only be replaced at energy by another lib-dem carbon hating NAZI fuckwit.

    There is no hope for a rational, realistic, reality based energy policy until every last Lib dem is kicked out of power, or 2015, whichever.


    • 11
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Has Huhne condemned whoever was driving the speeding car?


    • 16
      AC1 says:

      Plant-food starvers should be exiled.


      • 51
        Anon says:

        I used to have a Venus Flytrap that I fed cat food.

        Presumably they’d eat minced LimpDum and Green Party members, too, and David Camoron (unless he admits his “green beliefs” are just naked opportunism, trying to pander to some ‘right on’ agenda).

        It’s a slow and cumbersome method of disposal, I grant you, but it’s a thought.


    • 144
      Cassandrina says:

      So by tomorrow noon the left winger in charge of public prosecutions will publically announce whether Huhne will be put to trial. Based on his ridiculous investigation into cash for honours and his public announcement that no charges will be made, then it would be wise expect the same to happen with Huhne.
      It will be a miracle if they press charges.
      But if they do then we could easily be led into the belief that at last we have an honest government.


  6. 6
    Nick Clegg says:

    He should be taken outside and shot.


  7. 8
    My vote's for Jeremy Browne says:

    Jeremy Browne is very right wing for a Lib Dem.


  8. 9
    AC1 says:

    Vince should get the Department of Pensioners.


    • 24
      ToonBob... says:

      Dementia is not pleasant, if he had DP at least he could get a bath on a Friday night, bingo on Saturday and the barber pops in on a Sunday to tidy him up a bit :)


    • 25
      Get rid of the old fraud says:

      How about he just retires from public life altogether. He’s a tax dodger who was happy to see HMRC half his penalties in a manner that they refuse to accept they ever do for other people who file and pay their VAT late.


    • 79
      Jabba the Huhne says:

      Vince will be 70 next year. Time he retired to his cardie and slippers and a nice cup of cocoa.


      • 92
        Incapable Vince says:

        As a good FibDem I want to take as much money from those who have accumulated it and pass it on to those who aspire to it.

        FibDems – champagne socialists with sandals


    • 165
      Foggy Albion says:

      Vince? Fuck me, I thought it was Mick Fleetwood and Sam Fox.


  9. 10
    Axe The Telly Tax says:


  10. 12
    The last Quango in Paris says:

    bet he’s not charged :(


    • 15
      Ah! Monika says:

      Not many will take you up on that bet.


      • 21
        The last Quango in Paris says:

        I just can’t see the need for cameras – if he is to be charged they will have to take him to a police station. they are not going to run through the evidence in front of all the cameras that is for the court to listen to. if however there is no chance then the cps will try to justify it I reckon.


        • 27
          ToonBob... says:

          Is he on bail?

          As you say, looks like it is more likely they will announce NFA.


        • 74
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          I’ve just looked it up in the news, and the paper says “dramatic” “news conference … minister’s future” – which sounds like complete tosh.

          If they’ve got enough evidence, he’s still got a theoretical chance of being found innocent.
          If they’ve not got enough evidence, he’s got a good chance of being found guilty in the court of public opinion, esp when the papers are free of all hints of sub judice.

          Only way its sorted is if they’ve got a photo of who was driving. They havent.


  11. 14
    Loungelizard says:

    Can we not at least abolish Vince Cable


  12. 18
    Dudley Zoo says:

    Cable should be put in charge of custard cream procurement

    I did consider suggesting he be put in charge of fig roll procurement but I think he may not be up to the job


  13. 19
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m available.


    • 34
      Dave Miliband says:

      Me too.


      • 39
        D. Milipede says:

        I’m on such good terms with my brother that to help him I made a speech explaining what he should do to promote Labour. Why didn’t I just go round and mention these ideas over a coffee at his place you say? ………


  14. 20
  15. 22
    Comment of the day says:

    Vince Cable is a very much older version of Vince Cable.


  16. 23
    Libby the Libertarian says:

    Get shot of the Huhne and bring back Laws.


    • 28
      A Tory says:

      Get shot of Cameron and bring back Thatcher


    • 29
      God says:

      Laws is dodgy. Is there not a single honest person left in Parliament?


      • 36
        • 62
          Bird with small brain says:

          There isn’t a single honest (as in totally and consistently honest) person on the planet, so a little less righteous indignation would be appropriate. I for one accept David Laws explanation for his motives and some speedy rehabilitation would be good for both him and the country. We need some genuine expertise in dealing with our calamitous national finances, that’s for sure. He’s served his time in exile – bring him back.


          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            I for one don’t. He has shit on his own career, his choice and it shows he has absolutely no judgement whatsoever.


          • David 'the trougher' Laws can fuck right off says:

            See above.


          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            So then. He only broke the rules a bit, and he’s not that bad in comparison to the rest.

            And we’re supposed to be impressed with that.


        • 146
          Cassandrina says:

          David Davis gets my vote.


  17. 26
    Strictly Come Speeding says:

    Huhne is an odd fellow. He wanted power and fame but he’ll always be known for just 4 things: being caught out live on Marr’s show over his Calamity Clegg briefing, telling his wife he’s divorcing her and then saying they have 30 minutes to kill the story, making her take his speeding points, and briefing against several cabinet colleagues including his “I don’t want my fingerprints on this” email to a journalist.

    All in all, a rather short and miserable albeit colourful political career. Next stop after the clink: reality TV.


    • 31
      Democracy Now says:

      So, he’s a flop. What’s new? Parliament is full of deadbeats.


      • 37
        nellnewman says:

        Parliament has become the discredited home for the serially dishonest.


      • 38
        David 'Knows no' Laws says:

        What about me? Caught fiddling my expenses because i didn’t want my Mum to know I was gay.

        ‘The Standards and Privileges Committee concluded that the rental agreements submitted by Laws between 2003 and 2008 were misleading and designed to conceal the nature of his relationship with his partner. They prevented any examination of the arrangements that in fact pertained over the entire period. Further, his claims for rent were in excess of market levels for a lodging agreement, and a market level agreement would not have included contributions from the lodger towards building repairs and maintenance, which Laws also claimed.’

        I say ‘bollocks’ to that.


        • 125
          Anonymous says:

          Yup, quite sickening and ethically repellent that “Tories” wish to rehabilitate this creature. FFS he couldn’t make three weeks in his post before he had to resign in disgrace so where’s the evidence that he’s even any good!


    • 159
      Really? says:

      It wasn’t Marr, It was Jon Sopel on ‘The Politics Show’. They played a very impressive showreel of their scoops during the programme’s life: this was by a long way the best clip shown.


  18. 30
    The Lone Ranger says:

    Danny says that head of student loans body will pay tax at source from now on.

    1. Why aren’t HMRC chasing him for previous years when they can do over IR35 which clearly should have applied?

    2. Will he still be able to claim his travel costs through his company?

    3. Will the taxpayer be paying his travel costs at source?

    4. Which mandarin will be sacked for even suggesting this and at HMRC for agreeing to it.

    No ordinary taxpayer would get away with any of the above. Of course I am sure he wouldn’t attempt to get round any of the above.

    Who at the BBC is guilty of the above?


    • 32
      Democracy Now says:

      Is his company registered for VAT?


    • 53
      Fish says:

      Who at the BBC….?

      Quite a few apparently. Will the DG call for an investigation?

      And who in the House of Commons has tax efficient arrangements. Gordon? Just how are the earnings from your ‘The United Kingdom – My part in its downfall’ tour, taxed?


      • 147
        Cassandrina says:

        The BBC is awash with outside companies run by insiders.
        If an investigation was carried out by HMRC into the endemic tax avoidance at the BBC then the shit would certainly hit the fan.
        Strangely Patten and Thompson are silent on this but the more time Patten takes over this disaster waiting to happen, the more he will fall – surely he cannot blame Thompson after he leaves, can he?


    • 67
      john in cheshire says:

      IR35 is one of the most pernicious pieces of legislation that the socialists ever invented. They should all be forced to comply with it; perhaps then it will be repealed.


    • 80
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      But local GPs work in similar ways.
      They are not direct employees of the NHS, they operate private organisations which charge the NHS for work done – the owners of that private business (GPs)then take profits, rather than salaries, thus opening the way to tax advantages.
      And as GPs also collect more than the PM does, I’m struggling to see the difference.


    • 109
      Ivor Tapeworm says:

      Taxes are for the little people.


    • 142
      Glyn H says:

      I thought after the same scam was used by Birt when DG (plus the 2nd car for his then wife, a fiddle which cost an acquaintance, GM of a Mercedes dealership, his job) this was known to be unviable. Have these savants no use for what has gone before? That was the New Labour attitude to proprieties and public money!


  19. 40
    Tony Dean says:

    Why don’t we bring the general election forward and let’s get rid of all this trash?

    All in favour….


  20. 41
    Concerned Citizen says:

    Guido, can you have a word with the people at the mature dating site? They have a very sorrowful specimen on offer at the top of this thread.


  21. 42
    Jo Moore's Almanac for 3 Feb 2012...good day to bury bad news says:

    And at 10.05 am tomorrow nothing will have changed Huhne still at DECC and Cable still at BIS and Clegg calling the shots on government policy…….


  22. 43
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Sarah Teat-her – you would though…


  23. 45
    Scorsese magic says:

    Classic gangster flick on Film4 tonight, The Departed.


  24. 46
    Blue Raspberries says:

    Lord Pantsdown of Sarajevo might be an idea. Have him pissing out the tent.


  25. 48
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Hasn’t she got a beer to ban then?


  26. 49
    Desperate Dan says:

    I would like a new Law that stops people from taking dogs for a “walk” while riding on bikes. Apart from the fact that their dogs’ paws could get run over or stuck in the spokes, don’t these horrible people know that dogs like to snuffle about and aren’t interested in running flat out for miles.


  27. 52
    Judge Dredd says:

    I would like a new law that bans people from doing stupid things. I get to decide what is stupid and the fine is unlimited.


  28. 54
    General Clegg and his vanishing Mexican Army says:

    Have you seen this painful stand up gig ?


  29. 55
    Fish says:

    Ominously a legal expert has just said theat the only time that Starmer has made such an announcement previously was when he announced that there wouldn’t be charges on the Tomlinson death, giving the complexity of the case as the reason.

    Expect the same tomorrow. No charges, difficult to get former partners to testif against each other.

    To me there seems to be enough in the public domaine to require a jury to examine Huhne and his ex, under cross examination and under oath. This is for the courts to decide not Starmer.


  30. 56
    Ah! Monika says:

    The head of the Student Loans Company will have tax and National Insurance payments deducted from his £182,000 pay package in future, ministers say.


    • 61
      Desperate Dan says:

      But Jeremy Paxman, John Humphries, Emily Maitlis etc will continue to have their £million+ salaries paid into their own private companies and will paid their own tax/insurance if their accountants deem it necessary.
      Victoria Derbyshire will continue to be flown to Manchester and back everyday and will be ferried between her home/airports/home by chauffeur driven cars. This will be called “perks of the job” or sometimes “expenses”.


      • 137
        EdButLookBalls says:

        They and the rest of the cnuts like Blind Boy O’Donahue, Mair, Quim, Toenails, Further, Brown and assorted feckwit Al-Beeba journos relish discussing such government problems with Liebour politicos whilst having their own arrangements for non-PAYE tax payments.



      • 150
        Cassandrina says:

        Don’t forget the Attenboroughs’


  31. 58
    Trevor Kavanagh says:


    Labour are so desparate for a new leader that even Mrs Balls children are campaigning


  32. 59
    Tuscan Tony says:

    More to the point why are you serving ads that list Chinese girls by age and weight? What are they for? There’s one now, Jasmin, age 21, 40Kgs. That’s about the same as your or my left leg.

    What can it all mean?


  33. 60
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Cable should not be let lose in any ministry !
    he is a twat


  34. 66
    un believer says:

    What a load of utter bullshit

    “if only it wasn’t for nasty mr Cable we’d be in utopian wonderland of prosperity, we have a masterplan for growth and that bully Vince is stopping it from getting anywhere.”

    not with piss weak wavey davey and the towel folder at the helm we won’t


  35. 69
    JD says:

    Which threesome is ugliest: Huhne-Pryce-Trimingham or Hemming-Cox-Hemming?


  36. 75
  37. 85
    Jack says:

    Are you saying that Call me Dave will get an “Olympic Boost” ?

    As the economy collapses finally ?


  38. 90
    Labour friends of Israel says:

    Bring back Mandy as Business Secretary

    He would attract all the predators back…


  39. 91
    Arnold Schwarzenegger to Huhne says:

    Fuck you, asshol!


  40. 94
    Ah! Monika says:

    There must have been a leak from the DPP by now.


  41. 95
    twat watch says:


    • 100
      Raving Loon says:

      Why on Earth would someone pay to hear Gordon speak? I’d pay good money to never hear from him again.


    • 103
      Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

      That’s a lie. I am working for charity http://tgr.ph/xVhFC1


    • 107
      Gangster Russian Oligarch says:

      We love Gordon Brown

      He gave us all permits to live in the UK and “whitewash” ourselves and out billions…No questions asked…

      With the help of expensive, bent City solicitors…


      • 108
        Influence Peddlar Blair running out of influence to peddle says:

        Who have you bought in the Tory and Libdem parties ?


        • 111
          Gangster Russian Oligarch says:

          We don’t “buy” anyone directly

          We use “PR companies” and “solicitors” to do the job for us…

          Do I need to name names ?


    • 140

      I hope he is in Moscow. Its -24 and snowing there.
      Hopefully he’ll manage to lock himself out of the conference.
      The big fool.


      • 143
        Moscow Mike Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

        I will be attending Gordon’s lecture on how he saved the world, in Moscow. I hope he doesn’t expect me to show him around afterwards as I will be extremely busy on important State business in a 5* Moscow hotel; at taxpayer’s expense, of course. Boaz.


      • 155
        Pundit Too says:

        Perhaps he is in the broom cupboard in Moscow?


  42. 96
    ToonBob... says:

    There will be many red faces when the CPS say to the cameras ” NFA, the Huhne is innocent” :)


    • 105
      lol says:

      Mostly here lol!


    • 110
      Plod says:

      There’ll be a lot more red faces when we charge him.


    • 115
      Universal Hiss says:

      Well with the fanfare they are hardly going to say thank- you for all attending ladies & gentlemen. Mr.Huhne will be prosecuted.As there will be a forthcoming trial no further comment can be made & no questions will be taken.

      It will be one pathetic excuse after another. Mainly that a fair trail could not take place because of the dreadful media coverage.


      • 121
        jgm2 says:

        I agree. Very little chance he’ll be charged.


        • 133

          The only charge he should face is one from a pylon.


        • 134
          Universal Hiss says:

          I really hope I’m wrong jgm.

          Could be because of the serious nature of the allegations,the intense press interest and the CPS want to trumpet that a serving government minister is not above the law,it has been decided that a prosecution will take place.

          There. Totally contrary to my last post. So tomorrow I’ll be right.

          Shall we call it doing a Guido?


  43. 101
    Some Geezer wot thinks Cable should be flattered by the likeness says:

    Ooh, look! The Vince Cable doll! (Called “Walter” for the USA orders)


  44. 112
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Sky News reporting that Ireland might need a second bail out
    if things don’t improve within the fourth reich


  45. 113
    FT correspondent says:

    Breaking news


    Ex Chief Executive of G ol d m a n sachs firm pays out 26 cents on the dollar to UK traders…FFS


  46. 116
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    For all of you complaining about the adverts I’ve just had one for
    “hunting butts cottage”


  47. 127
    The last Quango in Paris says:

    the anount of public money being spent of that smug man is attrocious – not only are we paying him to try and force windfarms on us but we are paying for the police to investigate all of this.


  48. 129
    albacore says:

    O lucky Dave, he’s spoiled for choice
    Maybe he hears a little voice
    Please, Dave, ever so pretty please
    This time let’s have some expertise


  49. 131
    Truth seeker says:

    They are all expenses fiddlers except for Cable who is so old he forgets to pay his bills. What a shower. I think David Laws should be given another chance. Be honest if you want the people who have never fiddled their expenses to run the country then we have no one to run the country. David Laws is the only talent the Lib Dems have who does not have a cabinet post.


    • 138

      I agree.
      if a chancer like Mandy can keep getting the gig, because, if truth be told, he was easily the most talented amongst the fag end losers of the Labour administration. Then why not Laws?
      Who else is there? Moonbat Nadine? Mensch? Jesse Norman ?


      • 163
        Spartacus says:

        Admitted to being a serial embezzler of public money for years and years . . . he can fukc right off. Just another member of the common market arse lickers’ society aka liberals


  50. 136

    Miliband hasn’t been on the telly all day.
    Is something wrong at the corporation?


  51. 148
    Anonymous says:

    Laws back at any level will destroy whatever is left of cast iron daves reputation.


  52. 156
    Dick Scratcher says:

    I hear Ernest Borgine look-a-like Grant Shapps to get Cable’s job


  53. 161
    Mess of pottage says:

    I could do Cable’s job – and better. He doesn’t understand business or – yes, that much reviled word – SALES!

    Bring back Laws, all is forgiven.

    PM has announced confidence in Huhne, so he’s toast! No doubt the Dep PM will issue the redundancy notice with great regret, signed ‘Calamity Clegg’!


  54. 164
    HappyUK says:

    Remember December?

    Shameron vetoed EU plans for a Fiscal Union (FU for short) to control the budgets of debt-ridden Eurozone ‘nations’ and was hailed as a hero by the short-sighted.

    Naturally all of that went down the gurgler with the Shameron ’s craven but perfectly forseeable U-turn.

    Cameron has achieved nothing. He’s gone from FU to FA. He didn’t even use the opportunity to cut us a better deal. Anyone who opposes European integration and remains inside the Conservative or Labour parties needs to extract their head from their anus fast, before reality takes them squarely and painfully up the said region.


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