January 18th, 2012

Helmer Statement Confirms Guido’s Scoops
Tory MEP Will Not Quit for “Protégée From St. John’s Wood”

In a statement given to ConservativeHome Tory MEP Roger Helmer has confirmed Guido’s many stories about the “mexican stand-off” he is in with Warsi and CCHQ:

I have made it clear that I will not sign the formal resignation papers until the position is clarified and Rupert is confirmed. I was happy to resign in favour of the next-in-line in the normal way, but I am not prepared to stand aside for some A-List Cameron protégée from St. John’s Wood. However the Party says it will not call the panel and make the decision until I do resign. So we have a Mexican stand-off.

I think that both I and Rupert (and our respective families) are entitled to some certainty and resolution on the issue. Accordingly I have indicated to the Party Chairman that if the situation is not resolved within a few weeks, I shall withdraw my offer to resign. 

I have also made it clear to the Party Chairman that I believe that my obligations on this point have been fully and finally discharged by my offer, made in good faith, to resign. Accordingly, if I am obliged to stay in place until 2014, I shall feel no further sense of obligation or responsibility to the Party.

You read about his resignation, and the ensuing battle here, here and here first.


  1. 1
    Good says:

    Good to see someone with balls.


    • 2
      Osama the Nazarene says:

      Shame he felt the need to go in the first place, always enjoyed his contributions on “Tory Radio”.


    • 10
      Joss Taskin says:

      That’s Everynight Ellie, isn’t it ?


      • 36
        Maximus says:

        That’s what we get when Disengaged Dave plays chess with his appointments instead of dealing with political reality. Perish the thought that Warsi might be after marauding some fresh anchovy bays – she just happens to be the pawn that he’s moved up to face off with the Red Queen Harperson. Dave does not seem to grasp how it blocks his most favourable lines of attack. The best players know what to do in these situations – sacrifice the piece.


    • 11
      Grim says:

      What’s he resigning from again? I thought the job was to represent people who vote for one.


    • 14
      Tony M says:

      I don’t like the idea of women being parachuted into positions, but who the fuck does this guy think he is? He has no right to dictate to the Conservative party who their candidate should be.

      And what the fuck is this comment about ‘families’ deserving certainty? MPs are fucking employees of the state – WTF has the concerns of their families got to do with it? This is right up their with their corrupt employment of their family members, and their expenses troughing.

      Fucking arrogant MPs who think that they have the right to control everything instead of being there to act as our servants.


      • 16
        Tuscan Tony says:



      • 22
        Nick says:

        Good for Helmer. It is a pity that CCHQ is interfering.


      • 27
        Gonk says:

        “next in line in the normal way”. I haven’t heard that for years.


      • 30
        Our Denry says:

        It’s the power and lovely expenses that do it, where does Helmer propose to do after he has left the european parliament, I wonder if he is after a nice safe seat, that will be out now if the number of seats are (don’t hold your breath) reduced that chance will have gone, plus up setting the Tory CCHQ


      • 46
        Anonymous says:

        In an EU election you dont vote for individuals, you vote for parties that produce a list of candidates. Now what happens is that when an MEP resigns, then next person on the list (in this case the Rupert bloke) would automatically take the seat. Unfortunately Cameron wants to impose his own puppet. And Roger isn’t happy with the Tories tearing the rulebook up so they can have their own lap dog.


    • 35
      Spot the Dog with Little Fat Round Balls says:

      oh yop


  2. 3
    phil says:

    wankers the lot of em!


  3. 4
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Can you reserve me a spare seat on the EU Gravy Train, please ?

    Think I might be needing a bolt hole soon.



  4. 5
    Tuscan Tony says:

    So, Roger thinks Dave and his Tories are a bunch of utter tools and self-serving mutual backscratchers who want to parachute some favoured person into the spot (a Conservative, not Helmer, held seat, let us remind ourselves) and wants to see them fail? OK, fair enough an opinion, but to then tell these self-same people that the only way he will go quietly is if they install his special wee-man homonculus in his place.

    Hmm……got it. “Look out – it’s a trap, Dave!”

    Both Rog and the homoncule seem to have somewhat shot themselves in the foot with this sort of childish threat.


  5. 6
    Hugh G. Rection says:

    Since when did we all agree that MEP’s can appoint their own successors?


    • 23
      sockpuppet #4 says:


      Whats an MEP ?


    • 25
      smoggie says:

      They can’t – that is why there is a problem. He’s just taking a stand against centralised cronyism.


    • 40
      Spartacus says:

      whatever happened to voting for an individual?

      when did this voting for a party law come into force?

      as to successors, the road is littered with dud mps who the electorate wanted rid of
      – shirley williams; jacqui smith et al. What gives a party the right to plant a plant?


    • 45
      Anonymous says:

      They can’t – (He is an MEP) and in an EU election you dont vote for individuals, you vote for parties that produce a list of candidates. Now what happens is that when an MEP resigns, then next person on the list (in this case the Rupert bloke) would automatically take the seat. Unfortunately Cameron wants to impose his own puppet. And Roger isn’t happy with the Tories tearing the rulebook up so they can have their own lap dog.


  6. 7
    Joe says:

    Who’s Roger Helmer and where is this St John’s wood??


    • 24
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Its when you get an erection during a storm at sea, and theres an unearthly glow around the end of your penis.


      • 26
        Gordon Brown says:

        I have that trouble.


      • 38
        Maximus says:

        I think you confuse the proper name with the vernacular verb. But to be frank, I have never been in the situation you describe.


      • 49
        Anonymous says:

        That is actually called “St Elmo’s fire”. It is when things glow in the dark at sea for physics related reasons/because god said so.
        St John’s wood is where tossy cameron friendly liberal fanatics live.


  7. 8
    Gravy Train alert says:

    This Helmer sounds a complete self serving European gravy train merchant. How can he appoint a successor to an elected position?


    • 9
      Gravy Train alert says:

      So yet again the modbot censors the word Europe@n because it contains Abbott’s favourite legume


  8. 12
    He still a piggie! says:



  9. 13
    martin marprelate says:

    Good for Roger! Now why doesn’t he give a large V sign to the Harpy Warsi and the boy David walk up to Nigel Farage and join UKIP where he would be far better treated and appreciated


    • 48
      The Golem says:

      I was intrigued by the parting shot about not having any obligation or responsibility to the party if he were obliged to continue drawing expenses until 2014.


  10. 15
    Ed's mum says:

    Such a thing would never happen in my little boy’s party.

    I must get some more of that nice red jelly…


  11. 17
    Groucho says:

    isn’t this just more evidence to suggest that politicians, of whatever hue, think and believe themselves to be so superior to anybody else that once they ‘formally’ get on the greasy pole they even thnik they own the pole!!!


  12. 18
    Gromit says:

    I’m getting really pissed off with comparisons being made between my captivating facial features and the countenance of some odious politician who seems to think he could be the next PM – Silly boy…


  13. 19
    the general public says:

    Silly me, and i thought these things should be decided by the public voting


    • 21
      Osama the Nazarene says:

      Not for Euro Parliament. It uses some sort of PR which produces party managed lists that provides this type of buggins turn instead of a by-election.


      • 39
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Yes, the list system used in all EU elections, is a step away from actual democracy. Rather how the EU elites would have it, where the end user ( you ) is removed from the democratic process. Selection rather than election.


        • 41
          Spartacus says:

          same as the first ministers of grease and itallee


        • 44
          non MEP says:

          Now now! I am quite sure the only reason they approved this system is to save all our money being spent on unwanted by-election literature/propaganda.


  14. 20
    AC1 says:

    This just shows that “Party lists” and real democracy don’t go together.


  15. 28
    Upload worthy stuff! says:

    Andy Burntham making a twat of himself on Daily Politics. Brillo’s doing a sterling job of grilling him over Labour’s bullshit. As I write, Brillo just got angry!


    • 31
      Anonymous says:

      Robinson bailing him out


      • 37
        Eyeliner salesman says:

        Just reading from a Labour hand-out. “As I think Andy meant to say ….” followed by the same old spoon-feed. Brillo finished on the note that Ed^2 re-launches still did not make sense.


  16. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Burnham getting a new one ripped by Brillo


  17. 34
    Taxfodder says:

    We are the Tory CCHQ Borg…..

    says everything about their kind of democracy


  18. 47

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