November 17th, 2011

Ken Continues Gaffing But Boris Needs to Pull His Socks Up

Forget the roguish charm, forget the hair, forget the bikes and forget those Evening Standard placards; the biggest asset to the Mayor’s re-election campaign is, and will remain, his omni-shambolic opponent. Another day and another gaffe…

Over to Chief Former Mayor Monitor Andrew Gilligan:

“On Monday this week, at a public meeting in the borough of Lewisham, the chair, Val Shawcross, asked the audience for their views about housing policy. Ken came in: “Ask how many people think we should hang George Osborne.” Shawcross: “Well, I’m deliberately not asking questions like that because you never know when there is going to be a journalist in the room.” I enjoyed the implication that it would be all right to demand the killing of the Chancellor if no journalist were present.”

That being said, Team Boris cannot afford to simply sit on their laurels. Ken is going to come at him like a cornered bear. This is the end, the last hurrah, and the former Mayor knows it. The latest campaign ad put out by Boris is horrific. It’s too long, too text heavy, slow, clunky and the music sounds like a low budget airline in-flight safety video:

3 out of 10. See Guido.


295 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Socialist eh?

  2. 2
    anon says:

    Missing pretty pictures Guido?

  3. 3
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Attacking opponents while glossing over your own record, great idea that!

    The LibLabCon candidates are crap, why should Londoner’s bother to vote, whoever gets in, they will continue to get their backside kicked with increased taxes… unless you’re the scrounging class who benefits from benefits, and children having free bus passes (learn to walk or pay your own way to lazy *****).

  4. 4
    nell says:

    Ken’s becoming increasingly eccentric in his claims that his opponents will ‘burn in hell’ and such.

    Not exactly a serious politician anymore , if he ever was one.

  5. 5
    The Observer says:

    More like 2 out of 10 AND with adverts for a pub and a fish and chip shop.
    Ken will put his radical loonies outside these places soon.
    The petrol price will be out of date daily, and the figures are not substantiated or set against good parameters or standards.
    An O level student would do better.
    If Boris approved this then he needs to wake up and smell the coffee – this is one-dimensional promotion that insults the intelligence of Londoner’s (and I am not a Londoner)

  6. 6
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  7. 7
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Ken has something of the newt about him.

  8. 8
    ADHD Anonymous says:

    Twat eh?

  9. 9
    say what you see says:

    You are becoming increasingly eccentric in your view that the Conservative Party is any way conservative.

  10. 10
    Jimmy says:

    I wonder who Flashman’s voting for.

  11. 11
    The Paragnostic says:

    I thought the words “socialist” and “twat” were interchangeable. Silly me!

  12. 12
    alanmills says:

    That Boris ad is bloody awful. Has he got any policies of his own or is the only one to attack his opponent?

  13. 13
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    Here and now I am starting the ‘No For Ken Way’ campaign to ensure that under ‘No For Ken’ circumstances will the newt loving, friend baby fathering, socialist weirdo become our Mayor and embarrass us at the Olympics in front of the world.

    No For Ken Way.

  14. 14
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The Lib Dem candidate?

  15. 15

    I will have bad dreams if you put pictures like that up. Could we have some Tottywatch to compensate? We ain’t been that bad, have we?

  16. 16
    anon says:

    Ah. The poor misunderstood c*nt.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    Jimmy says:

    Obviously, but who gets his 2nd pref?

  19. 19
    Seth the pig farmer says:

    The only good bit was the line:

    “Sorry Ken – Not again”

  20. 20
    The Paragnostic says:

    Aha! The photo reveals his secret ginger beard!

    Proof that he is the spawn of Satan and Rebekah Brooks!

  21. 21
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Today PRIVATE SECTOR JOB LOSSESS

    Swiss bank UBS – 2000.
    British Gas – 850.
    Mothercare – 100 stores to close.
    Numerous Solar Panel manufactures closing this month.
    Aviva – 380
    Citi Group announced plans to cut more jobs
    Rio Tinto’s – 515

    Keep up the good work Neo Con Loons

    No one outside London gives a fig about the Mayor

  22. 22
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The other Lib Dem candidate.

  23. 23
    nell says:

    You obviously don’t come on here very often. Perhaps you need to read more widely.

  24. 24
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    Red Ken is a fool to advocate hanging for politicians.

    It that were permissible, he, Gormless Gordon, Red Ed and 95% of the Liebour party would be swinging from lamp posts.

  25. 25
    The Paragnostic says:

    Londoner’s?

    You, sir are Greg Wallace and I claim my five pounds.

  26. 26
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    you know, if any of us went onto a leftie blog and behaved the way you do, our comments would be removed.

    Ah to be a socialist eh?

  27. 27
    The Paragnostic says:

    Well you must be the twat and I must be the socialist then cat.

  28. 28
    AND without a paddle it seems says:

    ALL local authorities throughout England have a statutory duty(this has been the case since at least the 1960’s) to provide free home to school transport for children between 5 -16 if they are attending their nearest suitable school
    and/or live further away from the school than the statutory walking distances (2 miles for pupils under 8, and 3 miles for those aged 8 plus

    Children also qualify for free transport – no matter what distance they live from the school – if they are unable to walk for any of the following reasons:

    they have SEN
    they have a disability or mobility problems
    there is no safe walking route

    In most localities this will be a chartered “school bus” or they will be given a free bus pass to use public transport.

    So London is no different to elsewhere in this matter so I’d delete that point from your argument

  29. 29
    nell says:

    I appreciate he’s attempting a PR makeover.

    Unfortunately his past high, very public profile as one of the major expenses parliamentary troughers and personal bagman and bullyboy for gordon brown lives on in the minds of the electorate.

    Question is can he bury it?

  30. 30
    Wotta Tossa says:

    Coincidentally, no-one on the planet gives a fig about you either.

  31. 31
    nell says:

    Not responsible, grown up politics is it?

    It’s one of the reasons ken will not get re-elected.

  32. 32

    Hi Jimmy 1952! Born just after the old King died and before the coronation, no doubt. Her Majesty’s faithful subject…

  33. 33
    say what you see says:

    If you get your saggy wrinkly tits out nell I may just give it a go.

  34. 34
    Red Ken ( 'pond life' ) Livingscum says:

    Every voter in Zone One thinks I am a brilliant mayor. So much so that many of the electorate there vote five or six times for me.

  35. 35
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The BBC and Channel 4 will be backing Ken 100% of the way.

  36. 36

    I would rather be a twat than a socialist.

    But I would rather have been a judge than a miner…

  37. 37

    Shit! All that money I spent on a wreath, yet here you are again…

  38. 38
    The Paragnostic says:

    “Numerous Solar Panel manufactures [sic]”

    And who would they be? All the solar panels are imported, you thick cunt. Might be a few chancers not making a living off subsidy who will close, but that’s only fair unless you think that job creation for spivs and pikey roofers is a good reason to put everybody else’s electricity bills up.

    UBS just lost a packet in that bit of poor dealing – so naturally they have to reduce headcount.

    Is the RTZ one due to the smelter closure? Funny that – high energy costs due to stupid green policies continued from Labour force high energy consuming business to close. Maybe they can all go and make windmills, or hug polar bears.

    Not impressed – please try again.

  39. 39
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fancy a bum?

  40. 40
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    I always claim my wreaths on expenses. http://tgr.ph/10ZhMf

  41. 41
    nell says:

    Sorry can;t oblige – some of us keep ourselves fit – try asking Ken I suspect he’s got some.

  42. 42
    Selohesra says:

    Actually Left Foot Forward are usually pretty accommodating – I camped there for a while but its very quiet now so I got bored of it. Perhaps though Billy you could liven it up with a few “frists” – I may even be tempted to return :)

  43. 43
    The Paragnostic says:

    You sound like a pussy to me.

  44. 44
    say what you see says:

    You’re a spammer, you should be grateful any of your bilge gets published in the first place.

  45. 45
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Looked at it once, Laughed and laughed :-)

    Wont be gong back

  46. 46
    Call me Dave - windy miller, eco loon, trougher and europhile says:

    Ken? My mate Ken Clarke?

  47. 47
    The Paragnostic says:

    That was a very poor piece of sockpuppetry. Everyone knows I’m usually either far more wordy or far more terse than that.

  48. 48

    please try again

    … or not.

  49. 49
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    need a hug?

  50. 50
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Suck my slimy socialist cock!

  51. 51
    Backstairs Billy Vague says:

    Not tonight honey, I’m shining my pate.

  52. 52
    The Paragnostic says:

    In future, all of my posts will contain the word “pea”. That way, sockpuppeteers will have to learn how to evade the modbot to impersonate me.

    Wankers.

  53. 53
    Ed Balls says:

    Get your tits out!

  54. 54

    Well, we know he’s the socialist. Never mind. In the next life he may come back promoted to plankton.

  55. 55
    P.Mandevison, the Eminence Greasy says:

    Yes please !

  56. 56
    nell says:

    I’ve no idea sweetie. If he’s your mate as you say perhaps you could ask him instead.

    But I have to say I don’t think you are on the road to intellectual enlightenment with this quest.

  57. 57
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  58. 58
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  59. 59
    nell says:

    Very edballs. And exactly why he’ll not even be an MP after 2015.

    Mind I suppose he’ll make a passable house husband whilst yvette takes over control of the labour party alongside her pal hatty harpic.

    They are going to make a great leftwing feminist team. No idea whose going to vote for them mind. Bit like livingstone really.

  60. 60
    john in cheshire says:

    Who would like to see Mr Livingstone swinging from a gibbet? More than those who would wish the same for Mr Osborne, I suggest.

  61. 61
    nell says:

    It’s a bit like campbell’s dodgy dossier isn’t it? The truth is never as damning or interesting!

  62. 62
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Time to change your colostomy bag nell.

  63. 63

    Camped? And didn’t get moved on?

  64. 64
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Question is will Guido and the conspirators allow him to bury it?

  65. 65
    Up sh1t creek says:

    My pinky finger slipped. No spell cheque her here!

  66. 66
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Time for your medication, MK.

  67. 67

    OK, I’ll do it myself. Anita Vukomanovic. Neo seems to know her …

    http://tinyurl.com/6rdwbw7

  68. 68
    Archer Karcher says:

    Nowadays of course the obese little scamps have highly paid walk to school officers, busily visiting schools and encouraging walking and cycling to school.

    Whilst simultaneously, another section of the same local authorities have highly paid officers, encouraging children to do exactly the opposite.

    Really, you could not make this shit up.

  69. 69
    Up sh1t creek says:

    If he gets £1m thrown at him will it ease his pain?

  70. 70
    ffs! says:

    Grow up already!

  71. 71
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Rather like your tits nell.

  72. 72
    Breton says:

    Come on, no one in London (other than those of us who comment on this blog) cares if Ken makes a joke. Slow news day.

  73. 73

    That is the sort of thing that he probably would regard as medication.

  74. 74
    Phony B£iar says:

    Don’t forget me!

  75. 75

    You looking for a bum again?

  76. 76
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Well bless my cotton socks !!

    The way the Dow is tanking in the USA it’s going to be “Black Friday”

    Dow Jones 11757.29 – -148.3

  77. 77
    a *libertarian* blog with nasty left-wing habits says:

    Choices, choices. Ken to edge it, I should think.

  78. 78

    Boris has no chance.

    He has committed eco-mental political suicide with the LEZ (low emissions zone) which affects all of London.
    It means huge cost to business to replace or modify vehicles.

    http://www.tfl.gov.uk/roadusers/lez/default.aspx

    You’re a fooking idiot, Boris!

  79. 79
    see below says:

    I went black and i aint going back.

  80. 80
    a *libertarian* blog with nasty left-wing habits says:

    Do shut up.

  81. 81
    nell says:

    Well if I did get them out you would like it anyway sweety as I have several old warts on the end of each nipple.

  82. 82

    Bet more people clicking on my link will like it more than those who click on yours…

  83. 83
  84. 84
    Newt Gingrich says:

    Not THIS Newt, anyway…

  85. 85
    Lenny Henry the Nignog says:

    Wacist!!

  86. 86
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Not the full trolls out:

    Homophobic trolls =check

    Monkier thiefs=check

    what happened to the funny leftie trolls? Cant afford the talant?

  87. 87
    Archer Karcher says:

    Moussa, high energy costs kill jobs.

    Who was it now who thought it would be a great idea to tack £780 billion in green tax and subsidy onto fuel costs?

    Oh that’s right, step forward dimwit Ed Miliband, job killer extrordinaire.

  88. 88
    Sepp Blatter says:

    I don’t know what’s up with these fucking nignogs, I call a spade a spade.

  89. 89
    BillyBob... says:

    What a silly bunt !!

  90. 90
    Sepp Blatter says:

    Don’t forget wacist trolls too!

  91. 91
    BillyBob... says:

    Send the buggers back :)

  92. 92
    BillyBob... says:

    whatever happened to the Robertsons jam golly ??

  93. 93
    BillyBob... says:

    hope not :(

  94. 94
    BillyBob... says:

    Blatter the twat !!

  95. 95
    BillyBob... says:

    Ken the Hunt !

  96. 96
    BillyBob... says:

    hahahahahahahahahahaha nice to see the modded acceptable words :) Nice one Guido :)

  97. 97
    BillyBob... says:

    okies… Ken the newt sh*ggin’ twat :)

  98. 98
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Vote B’n’P!

  99. 99
    Billy Bowden is the biggest cunt ever ! says:

    Can I shake yours?

  100. 100
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Did it go home, dear?

  101. 101
  102. 102
    BillyBob... says:

    No need, just give us a right of centre Tory Party….

  103. 103
    Archer Karcher says:

    The LEZ is an EU directive, no elected politician has the power to say no to it.
    Job destroyer that it undoubtedly will be, Boris or anyone else can do nothing, we handed all the power to say no away under ZaNu’s 13 years of misrule.

  104. 104
    BillyBob... says:

    How is the WI these days ??

  105. 105
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You talking to me?

  106. 106
    BillyBob... says:

    oh noooooo FFS that is just too much information !! Does Ken like warty newts?

  107. 107
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Turns out that Hitler chappy was right after all.

  108. 108
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Full of pakoras and bhajis, dear.

  109. 109
  110. 110
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    That’s what we’ve got dummy.

  111. 111
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    LOL, dear.

  112. 112
  113. 113
    Jizzy Thinks says:

    …it’s just not in power yet.

  114. 114
    Archer Karcher says:

    I would settle for a Conservative party frankly, as opposed to Cameron’s dripping wet SDP alike, progressive left, EU loving tossers.

  115. 115
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  116. 116
    Archer Karcher says:

    Left wing protesters sympathetic to old German socialist party shocker!

  117. 117
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    He made the trains run on time.

  118. 118
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Great to see the trolls out tonight.

    Next time anychance of being funny?

  119. 119
    nell says:

    Now listen here you imposter – you need to go and get an education that way you might even be able to get a job.

  120. 120
    Whats up Nigggggers! says:

  121. 121
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Why has this post got a picture of Sid James at it’s head ?
    Arf ! Arf ! Arf !

  122. 122
    nell says:

    Well I sure hope not – was a political misjudgement of sufficient seriousness to be remembered in the history books on politics I would have thought.

  123. 123
    Eee Uuu Dictatorship, the last evil empire says:

    Is there anything more sickening than Labour filth trying to tell the coalition how to run the economy when they caused the problem? Toxic Balls and Karachi Miliband just make you want to puke.

  124. 124
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Why has George Fuckwit Osbourne sold Northern Rock for the Knock Down price of £747 Million ?
    The same company Virgin Money offered the last chancellor Darling £1.5 Billion not 18 months ago which he turned down ! This part of the company is called by the government (the money making part )
    This deal must be on par with Gordon Brown’s selling all the gold off at rock bottom price . What a set of fuckwits !

  125. 125
    nell says:

    Oh. WI have any decent recipes for samosas Elsie? Do post.

  126. 126
    nell says:

    And what sort of name is sepp blatter – it sounds like a yorkshre pudding gone wrong.

  127. 127
    BillyBob... says:

    Is that a wart or a third nipple I see ?

  128. 128
    Tessa Tickles says:

    And so many of them!

    A bit cramped, though.

  129. 129
  130. 130
    nell says:

    Presumably then since the trolls have hit this particular thread about ken so robustly that means that the trolls are ken and pals.

    Which explains why they aren’t funny. kenlivingstone is one of the most unhumorous men alive.

  131. 131
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I have anal warts on the end of my cock how the hell they got there Ill never know.

  132. 132
    nell's crusty wart says:

    And if it hadn’t been for you pesky kids I’d of gotten away with it.

  133. 133
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I eagerly await your predictions of financial meltdown tomorrow morning. Will they be as ridiculous as your forecasts for Tuesday and Wednesday?

    Let’s see how your forecast for “Black Thursday” went today.. FTSE100 down.. drum-roll.. are you ready? .. 1.6%.

    Ooh, er.

  134. 134
    Juuuwish Banksters says:

    He didn’t get enough of them Tessa.

  135. 135

    @MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD

    So did you tup Rebekah Brooks? I told ‘em all here you did this morning…

  136. 136

    It’s either that or Jimmy has got the whole school with him today. If they had IQs one point more, they would be geraniums.

  137. 137
    I've scared them all away says:

  138. 138

    Dammit, I had one just like that, many moons ago… Did you, Neo?

  139. 139
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Londoners, in my view, get the mayor they deserve.

    And I think they truly deserve Ken.

  140. 140

    The whole fuckin’ kindergarten is here. Way past their bed times.

  141. 141
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    LOL ! No i didn’t but i would , apart from the fact she’s a total fucking nutter !
    I mean she battered Grant Mitchel FFS so she must be really ard !
    But the way i read it she has employed a surrogate to have it for her
    Maybe she just want’s to keep it tight for me ?

  142. 142
    nell says:

    tsk! not of – HAVE.

    That is what has been so wrong about our education system since 1997!

  143. 143
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    FFS have Skid @ Mark Discovered Animation ?

  144. 144

    No i didn’t but i would , apart from…

    What sort of talk is that? Either you would or you wouldn’t. If you are anything like me, by the time you started, you would certainly not stop over some non-urgent triviality. The brain would not let you (the one 2-3 feet away from your head…)

  145. 145
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

  146. 146
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Even the Japs have been infected, FFS!

  147. 147
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    O/T A phone in on 5 live this morning discussing giving sex education to kids as young as FOUR !
    Seems to me that peadophiles have finally infiltrated the education department
    the text is just plain wrong for kids that age Talking of the pleasure while having sex and the pleasure increasing as they reach orgasm telling kids it’s great to masturbate and touch yourself There was worse and there is also accompanying video’s parents have a right to remove their kids from the lessons but how many will ?
    For me this is total fucking mental !

  148. 148

    They are hopeless, nell.

  149. 149
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Here you have the latest for USA

    Dow 11,700.70 -204.91 -1.72%

    Time to bail out of gold as well

  150. 150
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Im all for pulling socks up but don’t try it in a gay bar.

  151. 151
    The Observer says:

    1400 jobs to go at PNB Paribas and I could go on.
    MK you really must get out more.

  152. 152
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Yes but first you have to get near the fuckin psycho !

  153. 153
    The Observer says:

    Don’t panic until it hits below 11000

  154. 154
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

  155. 155
    Lou Scannon says:

    Most ‘Londoners’ weren’t born in this country anyway. As far as I make out, many immigrants settle in London because it’s the only place in the UK that they’ve ever heard of. After a while some of them figure out that there is actually life outside of London and move on from the shit-hole that it’s become.

  156. 156
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Why is anyone surprised by Livingstone’s suggestions about what people may ‘like to do’ to his opponents? After all what Livingstone asks is what Marxists, like himself, do to those that don’t agree with them in many parts of the world on a daily basis…

  157. 157
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Is anybody else singing this tune all day after the TV add ?

  158. 158
    Nick Griffin says:

    VOTE B&P!
    I’ll have ‘em all out NO fucking around.

  159. 159

    What TV ad is that Frankie?

  160. 160
    Cell time says:

    Hahaha

  161. 161

    Here is some prog rock with real class. The best ever musicians to play in this style. Libertarianism in music. There is nothing like it now. Gentle Giant:

  162. 162
    AC1 says:

    I see the piss soaked tramp TAT is back in tonight, will the sad bastard ever get a life?

  163. 163
  164. 164
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Terrible. Financial meltdown. 1.6%. Just like you predicted.

    I look forward to your insightful forecast, tomorrow.

  165. 165
    AC1 says:

    Showing your age there.

  166. 166
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Yes he’ having a full on wankfest with his mongs at the mo.

    Fancy a bum?

  167. 167
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I’m still young and supple AC :)

  168. 168
    Tessa Tickles says:

    That’s sort of my point. The sad thing is, as you say, they do move out of London – and it seems the liked moving to Brighton. Once Brighton got overrun (and I mean, ‘overrun’ – the place is like a choked foreign city), I joined the “white flight” to Suffolk.

    It makes a refreshing change to hear English being spoken so widely again.

  169. 169
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I am glad the BBC spends its license fee so wisely, on these big important issues of the day.

    I’m equally pleased the change of government last year has brought a complete end to the liberal-lefty stupidity we’ve had to endure since 1997.

    NOT. Different government, same old lefty shite.

  170. 170

    sock again with more of his shit music collection

  171. 171
    Polly Toynbee's dried-up vag says:

    How’s mummy?

  172. 172

    What is the matter, sock? Did it test your mental powers too far or, as I suspect, you never even listened to it. Simon Cowell shit more your mark?

  173. 173
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    You don’t know what your talking about, why don’t you shut the fuck up and piss off.

  174. 174
    nell says:

    ++++Smile++++

    I don’t regard the Suffolk and Norfolk dialects as English per se.

    They are special to themselves and I love them dearly.

  175. 175
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dead, and you Polly?

  176. 176
  177. 177
    Polly Toynbee's dried-up vag says:

    Loitering.

    Always loitering. Mustn’t cwy.

  178. 178
    Potty Toynbee says:

    Same, but only from the knees upwards.

  179. 179

    sock yet again, please do take the opportunity to leave now as you’ve out stayed any welcome you did have long ago.

  180. 180

    I emigrated from Hove in 2007, Tessa, after Brightonanhove became merged and everything that we fought against happened. The whole place became a socialist republic. I recognised that when they appointed four people to the council at £120k pa each whose task was to save money…

  181. 181
  182. 182
    Anon says:

    When Brown sold the gold at the bottom of the market, he cost us £7billion.

  183. 183
    nell says:

    I’m sure angela merkel would love it if we did that.

    Best we stay English.

  184. 184
    Ewanme says:

    *Ewa prances around the room with some imaginary clothes on*

  185. 185
    Tessa Tickles says:

    @ Cat

    I thought something was up because Brighton has three MPs. What the fuck’s that about? It’s not as if Brighton’s a real city.

    And then, whenever the local council have to do any roadworks (especially between Palace Pier and Portslade), when do they do it? Right at the start of the holiday season. Every year for the last four years, as soon as the tourists start arriving, out come the cones and up comes the tarmac. Tossers.

  186. 186
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Wine -> monitor. Thanks!

  187. 187
    nell says:

    I learnt some of the most amazing things I know from survivors of the holocaust.

    The wonderful benefits of chicken soup and how to propogate fuschias from cuttings and turn them into standards. Glorious plants and some of the kindest, gentlest people I ever met.

    They had been dealt with most cruelly and yet they never wished ill of anyone. More than could be said of livingstone.

  188. 188
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Very.

  189. 189
  190. 190

    The Silence of the EuroLands

    Dave Cameron is talking to young and pretty ace treasury department agent Justine Greenling.

    “Its a tricky assignment. The Doctors think he’s mad. Just a crazy loon wailing in the moonlight. But he had knowledge. He used to be brilliant..brilliant but deeply, deeply flawed. Flawed and ..and unpleasant…He’s never gonna be released now..But..this Euro crisis…we need some help.
    I want you go and talk to him…See if he can offer any clues.”

    “Yessir” chirped the young agent brightly. This was Greenling’s first assignment for the Cabinet of investigations. “I’ll ask him plenty.”

    “Be careful Justine. You don’t want Dr Gordon Lecture messing with your head…And take care. Its not pretty in that remote asylum in the Highlands. Lecture might be even more unpredictable than usual. He hasn’t been outside his cell for over 18 months now. And he has some..lets say ..bad hygiene habits. Always use the shutter system. And don’t ever, ever touch his hands..You really have no idea where they’ve been.”

    “I’ll be careful sir. Is it true what they’re sayin’, he’s some kinda vampire?”
    “They don’t have a name for what he is… except …..a Twat. And you’d better be alert. He..he has a thing about women..He hates them..
    Also, I am going to show you why we insist on such precautions. On the evening of July 8th, 2008, he complained of market fluctuations and was taken to the Treasury. His mouthpiece and restraints were removed for an inflationary scan. When the economist leaned over him, he did this. [pulls out photo. Greenling was shocked at the terrible damage.]
    “He bashed the economy in with his unsustainable borrowing. His pulse never got above 85.”

    *****************

    Kirkcaldy Schadenfreude Institute for the terminally deluded.

    Agent Justine Greenling’s high heels clicked down the gloomy corridor as she walked towards the brighter light of Lecture’s prison at the end of the passage.
    She glanced through the bars beside her, at Ed ‘multiple expenses’ Balls, lying on the bunk in his cell, furiously masturbating.

    “Yeuchh…”she thought..he looks like a pre-dator but he sure is a producer too.

    She finally arrived outside the end dungeon. There, standing silently in the middle of the small floor, in his insane issue, red, party workers overalls, unnaturally still, head slightly tilted, was Doctor Gordon Lecture.

    “Dr lecture! You’ve been expecting me?” she asked.

    “No” he replied.

    “I see..” She tried a joke. “So you normally stand still in the middle of the floor, all by yourself, in the middle of the night. Finger in your nose?”

    “Yes.”

    “Oh..I see..OK..well Doctor, Dave Cameron sent me..” She held up her Treasury pass to the reinforced glass, “..He was wondering if you’d help me with some financial details..”

    But Dr lecture was studying the pass.

    “This says you’re a junior treasury minister…A neophyte. Barely more than work experience..”Dave..” Lecture almost spat out the name. “Dave Cameron…sent a trainee..to ..to see me?” he asked incredulously.

    The great doctor, the super brain, being spoken to by a junior! A women junior! He was badly slighted.

    “But Doctor,” soothed Greenling, “I really need your help. I heard you wrote books? Is that true?”

    Slightly mollified Doctor Lecture passed one into the metal case for her to take.
    It opened on her side of the glass with a clang.

    “This is a book. Take it…if you dare..”

    Greenling bravely put her hand into the deep drawer and took out the book.
    she read the title.

    ‘Courage’

    “Yes..its mostly about me and how brave I am. Now what did you want to ask me? I am waiting?”

    “Erm.. well.. Its the Euro..it seems that the Eurocrats don’t know how to stop contagion.”

    “I’m not surprised. They’re not very bright. Berlusconi used to be a friend of Blairs. And as I always like to say ‘Any friend of Blairs’ ..is a Huhne.’
    So Papandreuou has gone. Best thing really, his socialist policies were going nowhere.”

    “Will you help us doctor Lecture? Will you put your famous clunking financial acumen to the test? I’ll do a quid pro quo? You ask me things and I’ll…”

    “I’m not interested in you!” hissed the mad doctor. “Women are of no concern to me. Just window dressing.”

    “I’ll get you someone to talk with. Some of your old cronies. Maybe Ed Miliband and Damien McBride? They could visit you…Or maybe you just aren’t capable anymore, doctor? Maybe you’d rather just be remembered as the crazy man who murdered all those pensions?”

    “Don’t try and trick me agent Greenling” said the doctor, slyly.
    Alistair Darling once tried to test my economic competence and my Tom Watson attack dog ate his liver with some arctic monkey music and a nice whiskey.
    Slllllhhhhhhhtttttthhhththth. ”

    Justine felt her skin crawl as the monster licked his tongue over his fingers…”I’ll help you,” he said, “but I want a deal.”

    “What kind of a deal?”

    “All good things to those who wait. Greenling.. I want to be out of this stinking pit.”

    “You mean Kirkcaldy?”

    “I want to feel the sun on my face and the breeze in my greasy hair. I want to walk tall..”

    “Well you could always go to the House of commons. You’re still allowed in there. Its just that you choose to stay in here. In fact, you should be there now..”

    “You mock me, you bigoty woman. ..fly away little Greenling, fly away, ..”
    and the angry psychopath slunk back into the dim interior.

    As the young agent walked back down the corridor a jabb-ering Ed ‘both’ Balls flung his se-men at her. She recoiled in fright and disgust. She could hear Dr Lecture calling her back.

    “Agent Greenling..how awful. I detest rudeness, but not in me, you dank bitch.. Listen carefully. Look deep within yourself, Justine Greenling. Take this document. Go now, I don’t think Balls could manage again quite so soon, even though he is crazy. Go…”

    As she left the sanatorium she met Dave Cameron. She handed the document over.

    Dave skimmed the dossier. “It says to help bail out the Euro countries Britain should guarantee all their deposits. And also guarantee the Chinese any money they lend to Europe. .. then it says Britain should convert to the Icelandic Krona as they got out of their troubles pretty quickly..”

    “So I didn’t learn anything useful sir?”

    “I wouldn’t say that Greenling. You learned that he’s still a fruitcake, batshit loon, and on no account should anyone go near him again. ..that’s always good to know.”

    And they drove away, while doctor Gordon Lecture stood silently, staring straight ahead, arms at his sides, all alone, in the centre of his dark cell.
    Smiling, that weird, serial killer, corpse smile.

  191. 191
  192. 192

    Copy and paste Bill eh.

  193. 193

    Bunch of crooks. I had lived there for 21 years – far too long. I had seen the writing on the wall for a long time. Loved it as a kid. Went to stay at Royal Cresent Hotel (long closed now) to see a school friend of mine recovering from an op. Both Cream and the Who were performing in Brighton that night and were staying there. We saw all of them. Ended living there in a lovely spot on the hill overlooking the sea, near Dyke Road Avenue. But in this false oasis of calm, I knew that one person a night on average was being bottled or knifed in the centre. I don’t miss it. Hell, I looked out at the Dolomites clearly visible to the north today…

  194. 194
  195. 195
    nell says:

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/watch-nigel-farage-dance-euros-grave

    nigel farage at his best tellling rompuy and the eu about their lack of democratic credentials!

    Now He Is Entertaining!! Which is more than we can say of the leftie labour trolls that have been on here tonight.

  196. 196

    “out stayed”

    Your NewLab education lets you down every time, sock…

  197. 197
  198. 198

    nasally challenged sock

  199. 199
    nell says:

    I suspect it’s because gordon bought it at £’s above what it was worth.

    That was gordon!!

  200. 200
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Oh, thank you Nell! I did enjoy that!

  201. 201
    Marina Hyde's left nipple says:

    Nah! She would not look at a fat ***t like him.

  202. 202
    Ewanme says:

    Brill , Bill !!!!

    We’s all wasted on here I reckons :)

    E x .

  203. 203
    nell says:

    Best piece of EU drama/entertainment/comedy since danhan told gordon where he could go!

  204. 204
  205. 205
    Ewanme says:

    Nice one , nell x .

    Nige is quite good orally , ain’t he ???

    Bit like a steam roller when he gets goin .

    E x .

  206. 206
    nell says:

    Better than a steamroller sweetie and he made rompuy and his pals look like nazis – but then of course they are!

  207. 207
    Ewanme says:

    That’s a bit weird .

    How did I do that ??

    *Note to self : Mus stop pressin buttons , Ewa*

    E x .

  208. 208
  209. 209
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Sainsbury’s Christmas ad with Jamie Oliver

  210. 210
  211. 211
    Ewanme says:

    Sooo good u posted it twice , darlin ???

    Jus readin the comments on ur blog – won’t be a sec …

    E x .

  212. 212
    AC1 says:

    Everything written by me (except this) is from a sockpuppet.

  213. 213
    Question Time (Special Y Fronts Edition) says:

    This week David Dimbleby is joined in Aberystwyth by the usual lefty rent’a’mob foaming at the mouth for Tory babyeater blood.

    Tonights panel is and in no particual order.
    Grant Shapps,
    Chris Bryant,
    Elin Jones,
    Will Hutton and Sir Simon Jenkins.

  214. 214
    Tessa Tickles says:

    “one person a night on average was being bottled or knifed in the centre”

    Indeed, this is a real problem. It wasn’t just that every voice my husband and I heard was foreign, it’s that the place was being over-run with drug-addled scum. Apparently, Brighton has excellent facilities for the homeless, especially those who are homeless because they’ve wilfully destroyed their own minds, so they migrate south – they can’t get further south than Brighton – and stay. Half the people on the streets look like extras from a George A Romero zombie film.

    Police.uk crime-stat website shows even the nicer areas of Brighton as warzones. So we left, and we’re glad we did.

    I’m glad you made it to somewhere better, too.

  215. 215
    Jimmy says:

    A point lower and they’d be you.

    You keep setting ‘em up, I’ll keep knocking ‘em in.

  216. 216
    The Paragnostic says:

    Ah, but how do we know that this is not mere misdirection to obscure the fact that you appear to have gone insane?

    Wankers have been at me as well. Hence the use of “appears”, since sockpuppets don’t have mod-evasion.

  217. 217
    She's getting a bit forgetful these days says:

  218. 218
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

  219. 219
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

  220. 220
    Cutie says:

    Great! Should be simply super.

  221. 221
    The Paragnostic says:

    There’s a way past the modbot, Bill, but I won’t post it on this thread because of the appearance of too many sockpuppet trolls.

    Suffice it to say that you can post anything you like w/out being modbotted…

  222. 222
    One for the ladies says:

  223. 223

    Whatever you like Jimmy.

    I defended you recently as you had set out a politically philosophical position very clearly and succinctly. I did not agree with your point but accept your right to argue it and I will listen to what you have to say because, think as you may, my mind is open to ideas. So I know you have a brain. If you get your rocks off with what some of these other ‘commenters’ are saying and who turn up at exactly the same time as you do, then perhaps you have a problem. Keep on knocking them in, old son. Hope it makes you feel better. I prefer discussing ideas to lobbing ad mominem but, if pushed, I can give back as good as I get – with interest.

  224. 224
    The Paragnostic says:

    Oooh – Chris Bryfront?

    He’s well butch, he is.

    Is Shapps going to be as ineffectual as ever, I wonder? Never heard of the Jones bint – presume she’s either LibDum or one of the other minorities.

    Mind you, I can’t be arsed watching it, as my TV isn’t yet bottle proof.

  225. 225
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Oh looky there hunky trolls! Back in a minute I’ll just get a box of tissues a tube of KY and my 10″ rubber king dong.

  226. 226
    a seriously professional troll says:

    Keep it up. This site needs all the hits it can get.

  227. 227
    a seriously professional troll says:

    I have some chicken wire covering mine.

  228. 228
    Errrr,,,,,,, says:

    Wasn’t he in ‘Shaun of the Dead’?

  229. 229
    EdButLookBalls says:

    £180k pa bankrupter having a major rant on QT!!

  230. 230

    I do confess to franticly masturbating over the thought of sniffing his Y-fronts, the lush cock aroma must be overpowering.

  231. 231

    What admirable balance in panel and presenter from a strictly unbiased broadcaster funded by a power to raise taxes upon people who have no ability to refuse their entirely politically neutral service.

    The DG must suffer from bad tinnitus as he walks about with both index fingers in his ears all the time.

    BBC at its best.

  232. 232

    could this possibly be a sock?

  233. 233
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Tell me about it!

    Gorgeousness darling!

  234. 234

    Get your own moniker you sad twat!

  235. 235
    Bi-curious pre-op tranny says:

    Which one is Bryant?

  236. 236
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Sock. ^^

  237. 237
    The Paragnostic says:

    Y-fronts not knickers darling, do try and keep up.

  238. 238
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    ^^ If you had even the slightest knowledge of me, sockpuppet, you’d know that I’d be much more likely to post a video of Stephen Hough playing Chopin than any Europop nonsence.

    It must be sad having to live your life vicariously…

  239. 239
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Or even “nonsense”. Goddamn my shoddy Labour secondary education…

  240. 240

    Y-fronts darling NOT knickers do try and keep up!

  241. 241

    Schrödinger’s cat logged in to see
    That his Guido Fawkes’ identity
    Had been grabbed by a sock,
    One so obsessed by cock,
    That it forgot its rіce and peа.

    An unfortunate trait of this tat
    His vocabulary was never down pat,
    So he resorted to words
    More used by the birds
    Like tweet and twot and twat.

  242. 242

    Will you please FUCK OFF you sad sock!

  243. 243
  244. 244

    My schizophrenia seems to have a life of it’s own tonight, I don’t know if I’m coming or going.

  245. 245
    Polly Toynbee's dried-up vag says:

    Hello tat.

    Keep smiling. Don’t cwy. That’s the spiwit.

    You pwomised mummy in Heaven you wouldn’t cwy. Didn’t you. As she lay dying.

    Big bwave boy tat. Don’t cwy.

  246. 246
    Trollolololololololololololololol says:

    .

  247. 247

    Whilst posting a while at his station,
    Schrödinger’s mog saw in another location
    Yet another cojone,
    Obsessed with the groin,
    And devoid of any punctuation.

  248. 248
    Polly Toynbee's dried-up vag says:

    Your mummy was going. Do you remember? As she faded away?

    “Don’t cwy, tat,” she said. Do you remember the words?

    As she slipped the bonds of Earth, to touch the face of God.

    Except there is no God. She’s just dust now.

    Don’t cwy. Be big and bwave.

  249. 249
    Polly Toynbee's dried-up vag says:

    Being a (C’UNT) aka dried up vag I do cwy each and every night dew to my inability to take a good fucking. Something I really do need at this moment in time.

  250. 250

    Schizophrenia is a long word for a troll,
    Who spends all his time on the dole.
    That he spelled it OK,
    Makes for quite a good day,
    But doesn’t quite fill his begging bowl.

  251. 251
    Ewanme says:

    I doesn’t care bout ur mental illness , honey x .

    We’s all bin there , ain’t we ??

    I still luvs ya , cat .

    If u’s not sure wot to do , come on my bottom an go on my face or vice versa x .

    That should cover evrythin , darlin .

    Ur E x .

  252. 252
    Polly Toynbee's dried-up vag says:

    ‘due’.

    Poor little cwipple bwain tat. It’s ‘due’.

    Don’t cwy.

    You pwomised mummy in Heaven you wouldn’t cwy.

  253. 253

    Schrödinger’s cat lives a life not stress free
    It’s the flask of hydrocyanic acid, you see?
    But if you will act like a pig,
    I can give you a swig.
    Sadness will never be for me…

  254. 254
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    I’ve been socked. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. but the give-away is that I’d never support any socialist party such as the B&P.

  255. 255
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    That’s a sock

  256. 256
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    What’s your number Nell? I have more notches on the bedpost than Ken and Boris put together.

  257. 257

    Awww bless him, the sad lonely sock puppet is really on a roll to night with his pretence to middle class social etiquette.

  258. 258

    I’m intrigued. But how will I find out?

  259. 259
    Polly Toynbee's dried-up vag says:

    His head is totally fucked by the looks of it E.

  260. 260
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    All you socks do realise that every post you make earns Guido a fortune, don’t you? Keep submitting comments, ladies. Guido is laughing all the way to the Bank.

  261. 261

    Intentionally provocative action
    With flames and deception gaining traction
    False flags abound
    They are all here around
    And Ewa seems in with the faction.

  262. 262
    Fabians are Evil. says:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/eu/8898044/Germanys-secret-plans-to-derail-a-British-referendum-on-the-EU.html

    Methinks we ought to be dusting off those Spitfires – Germany seems to be up to her old tricks!

  263. 263

    Tin foil hats are going cheap at pound stretcher this week Mr sock-puppet man.

  264. 264
    Fish says:

    Penny Red will vote for Mad Hattie and Yvette the Dominatrix (bring your own SS uniform) – I’ve just seen the dopy cow on Labour Newsnight

  265. 265
    Ewanme says:

    There woz an old blogger called Schrody
    Whose intent woz written in codey
    I went on all fours
    To massive applause
    While Schrody emitted his loady.

    E x .

  266. 266
    Fish says:

    That’s Dopey, dopey

  267. 267

    And whilst on the tenets of etiquette
    Which has its relations with netiquette
    One can tell from your blub
    Your’e just back from the pub
    You’d find drink much cheaper in Connecticut.

  268. 268

    The point about tin foil hats
    Is that to wear them you have to be bats
    The thoughts of your brain
    Can be traced with much gain
    And thus get recorded in the criminal stats.

  269. 269

    A limerick packs jokes anatomical
    In a space that’s quite economical
    But the good ones it seems
    So seldom are clean
    And the clean ones so seldom are comical

    Well done, yours at least made me laugh, unlike the other dismal contributions.

  270. 270
    Good Luck with That Tactic- You'll Need It! says:

    Desperate measures indeed Guido!

  271. 271
    Ewanme says:

    Ooooo !!

    I made myself laugh again .

    Coool .

    E x .

  272. 272
    carry on up william hague says:

    Give Neo his due
    He has pumped some decent fanny
    For a walrus with a comedy wig he does quite well

  273. 273
    Fabians are Evil. says:

  274. 274

    I wish you would keep better company. Even if you are a fella posing as a gal posing as a fella posing as a gal …. etc

    Still , up to yous .

  275. 275
    Ewanme says:

    Better company , darlin ??

    I tried all that . Besides , I likes it here .

    E x .

  276. 276
    Beware of Big Brother Control says:

    In Britain you watch TV, in Soviet Russia the TV watch YOU!

  277. 277
    Thank fuck for Fridays says:
  278. 278
    Cy Cologist says:

    i think you know what SC really means

  279. 279
    not a machine says:

    Oh er Georges surprise rock sell off , seems to have something of the backroom about it , Presto had me in stitches , yes he got the figures right , but did he include the losses (I mean hasnt the tax payer paid for the losses as well as the sum injected ??)

    TW may have got a little more interesting , It was only some time after it had finished that I thought Dan Snow was onto somthing , but perhaps he was only looking at one aspect Democracy and systems management ooohhhh matron a language of 1s and 0s does not need a vote it, defines life without ever experienceing the reality of it , which as I have thought for some time would lead to some very horrible outcomes on mimicking in the end , but oh no yea cry we cant go back to peasant and master , were liberated ! Well we are liberated from one form of control , but I question this new control and have been for some time on where it all exactly ends , and a perfection that is not human …………

    meanwhile at eurofawlty towers , Dave lands facing a cornered viemar tasmanian devil , after a series of charachtureless technocratic handshakes , dont mention ze basal3 ,Dave , its off to dinner and parlour games of who can rodger the other the most , without appearing to move from the chair .Mrs Merkel should remember that the KGB would have taken Dave on as recruit , so he knows an FDR when he sees one .
    One trader made it through torpedo nets , “at these yields somthing has gotta give ” he looked a little tired , but then quite a few of us who have been patient on the procession of this crisis are tired , tired of asking for the obvious , tired of never receiving any clue from our unelected brussels mob , why or how the euro should work or can have its flaws removed .

    summon the blood , toughen the sinew , bagpuss we hope will return with more than just the story of democratic truth and longlived nations and empires .

  280. 280
    not a machine says:

    Enjoyed Therresa speccie snippet “you lett em go and I lock em up” perhaps Hune and vicky one was a bit keen , but Rooster May , sherrifs in town , £10 to Children in need if anyone can find a clip where she says “is that a gun yer packin or are you just pleased to see me ” Got to admit better than jackie julliet bravo in the lines dept

  281. 281
    albacore says:

    Dear me, The MailOnLine’s full of cheery news today, including nuclear war all set to kick off in Europe; and U S space satellites being routinely hacked into by somebody with a, erm, Chinese footprint.
    Meanwhile, back home, there’s more pressing problems to whittle about, like which plonker’s favourite to get elected mayor of Londonistan.
    Never mind, though. At least we’ve got Dave and Ed.

  282. 282
    Fabians are Evil. says:

    How dare you steal my name – Cun’t

  283. 283
    Gold plated pensioner says:

    And it came in to force while Ken was still mayor and the extension for Jan 2012 was always planned.

  284. 284
  285. 285
    Our Denry says:

    There is little problem with laurel, have you notice when you cut/trim a laurel hedge, the smell of marzipan, well that smell is not of marzipan but cyanide in small quantities, the laurel uses it to protect itself against insects.

  286. 286
    "Dave" speaks to the nation after the Anglo-German Summit ??? says:

    ” The settlement of the Euro-Zone problem, which has now been achieved is, in my view, only the prelude to a larger settlement in which all Europe may find economic stability. This morning I had another talk with the German Chancellor, Frau Merckel, and here is the paper which bears her name upon it as well as mine. Some of you, perhaps, have already heard what it contains but I would just like to read it to you: ‘ … We regard the agreement signed last night and the Anglo-German Fiscal Agreement as symbolic of the desire of our two peoples to solve the financial crisis engulfing the Euro-Zone

    My good friends, this is the first time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street an Agreement on Fiscal Union with honour. I believe it is the solution for our time. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And now I recommend you to go home and sleep quietly in your beds”

  287. 287
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    How can Cameron shake hands with that Fecking Toad Faced bastard Barroso ?
    An unelected self serving twat !

  288. 288
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    The theory underpinning this piece is largely true. I think Boris has been a decent mayor and he has two qualities largely lacking in modern politicians – a sense of humour and the knack of not taking himself too seriously.

    His shortcomings are papered over though by the fact that Ken is

    a) a bitter twisted old man with a long track record of pandering to special interest groups that are a million miles away from the concerns of most voters

    b) a violent drunk

    We see the same scenario written larger on the national stage. Cameron is virtually useless but Miliband is such a tosser with no principles or answers that it is almost impossible seeing him make any red/blue conversions in the way Thatcher or Blair did.

    A very depressing political landscape that disenfranchises vast swathes of the population whatever their political views

  289. 289
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    During a recent visit on one of his over-paid Stateside lecture tours, David”Arse” Cameron addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians.
    He spoke for almost an hour on his plans for a Carbon Trading Tax for the UK and Europe.
    At the conclusion of his speech, the audience presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name – Walking Eagle.
    A very chuffed David “Arse” Cameron then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds
    A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select Our Friend David’s new name.
    They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

  290. 290
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    How is it we have come to trust this nation of vile murdering scum ?
    A nation that ignored the Geneva convention and torchered and executed our military personnel and millions of people just because of their religion
    they are teaming up with their old allies from the axis of evil France
    to finnish the job started by Hitler

  291. 291
    Not surprised says:

    I don’t live in London only an occasional visitor but I seem to have received a text from Ken promising to cut fares by 5% in Lambeth??!! I suspect it’s either a mistake, spam or my number previously belonged to someone else and it’s still on file. I can provide a copy if it’s of any use.

  292. 292
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Can we hang journalists if Osborne is in the room?

  293. 293
    The only way is anal says:

    He’s got a good shagging policy – tried and tested

  294. 294
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    Guido says “the biggest asset to the Mayor’s re-election campaign is, and will remain, his omni-shambolic opponent”. There’s no crime in being shambolic (Boris does a pretty good job) or even Newt-ish. Being sober would be a far worse crime. But that doesn’t excuse Ken: gentlemen don’t whine when they’re pissed or sober

  295. 295
    gman says:

    Pretty shambolic. Too long. Too boring. Too Negative. I don’t care about Ken. I already know that he’s a comie and buddies with Chavez. I want to know what Boris has got to offer?… its all very well pointing out that his predecesor hiked tube fares, trouble is, they haven’t come down under Brois. An underground day travel card costs £8—its a disgrace.. and now the wants to charge as for parking on a Sunday in the West End. Under Boris, costs have only gone up, while wages have stagnated (except for bankers).


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Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”


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