July 20th, 2011

Buckingham Palace Is Not On Dave’s Side, This Time

The story goes that when a young Oxford graduate, with all the right connections, applied for a job at the Conservative Party Research Department in the early nineties, a mysterious phone-call was received that was traced back to Buckingham Palace:

‘I understand you are to see David Cameron, I’ve tried everything I can to dissuade him from wasting his time on politics but I have failed. I am ringing to tell you that you are about to meet a truly remarkable young man.”

The rest they say his history…

Fast forward twenty years and someone in the Palace has dipped in a less welcome oar into Cameron’s darkest hour. Though denied officially by both the Royal household and Downing Street, Palace sources are letting it be known that they were “gobsmacked” when Coulson was taken into the Tory fold and ultimately into government. Not least because it was Prince William’s phone messages that triggered this entire mess. There would be a certain, though still highly unlikely, irony if the someone in the Palace was to both make and break Dave…


  1. 1
    Eh? says:

    Who cares?

  2. 2
    Gordon McTwat Brown says:

    I am an E-Type Jaguar.

  3. 3
    Steve Miliband says:


  4. 4
    les says:

    I think the palace sources who are “gobsmacked” should be named – are we talking maids, footmen or Skymen?

  5. 5
    Sir William Waad says:

    What? Prince William was about ten in the early nineties.

  6. 6
    The voice of unreason says:

    I wonder if they still think him truly remarkable …

    … and if so, still for the same reasons?

  7. 7
    Racked off says:

    if its officially denied then no story, nada, bit of a stretch Guido unless the “sources” are named.

  8. 8
    Wendi Ding Dong says:

    Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything

  9. 9
    Palace Source Archives says:

    Brown is a complete c*nt. For f*cks sake don’t bring him round here again.
    It was bad enough having smarmy Blair and his awful wife, with their brand new tweeds. Imagine; they had sex in the Castle. Urgh

  10. 10
    imnumbervi says:

    Have I arrived at the labourlist website by mistake?

  11. 11
    Tax Payer says:

    The Palace should keep their nose out. They aren’t exactly squeaky clean.

  12. 12
    The Umpire is always right! says:

    Yes, i can see thier point , but bearing in mind we had Charles demanding policy from goverment we can say a draw.

    And if the Palace were shocked at coulsons appointment then what the hell did they think of Baldwin,camball etc

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    I am sure Royal Family was thrilled to see Andy look at all the sensitive information!

    They might have been wondering when they would be able to read all their sensitive information in SUN or NOW.

  14. 14
    Gordon Brown says:

    i think you will find I am the rightful King of England

  15. 15
    Lord Stansted says:

    Quite. It’s only the idiot Charles, In his view, Murdoch is a bad man since his papers have not come out green and anti-nuke.

  16. 16
    imnumbervi says:

    Sky reporting that nobody at the Palace said anything to anybody about this.

  17. 17
    The Umpire is always right! says:

    Tho this does create problems for the left, they are anti monachy but also anti coalition.


  18. 18
    les says:

    So the Palace have denied underpants’ claims!

  19. 19
    sean says:

    AND whos idea was it in the royal protection force that advised young William on changing his voicmail pin? top notch professionals the lot of em’

  20. 20
    That's News says:

    Someone in the palace.

    Who? A PCS union rep?

  21. 21
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Who gives a flying fuck what that bunch of incestuous shirtlifters thinks? Perhaps they should concentrate on some of their own rotten ‘charges’, not to mention themselves.

  22. 22
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Cameron has to deliver a strong performance when he stands up in a minute. Otherwise, backbenchers will revolt.

  23. 23
    Tax Payer says:

    The Queen has presumably agreed to violent and murdering republicans being part of the government of her country.

    Which is worse?

  24. 24
    statechaos says:

    The important thing surely is that the Palace officially deny that they raised any concerns about Andy Coulson’s appointment – or are you suggesting that Cameron should resign because he failed to psychically discern the gob-smackedness of Palace officials? The smear tactics of Labour and Bryant in particular get more ludicrous by the minute. Why aren’t we having an emergency statement on the threat of the Eurozone meltdown ?

  25. 25
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier! says:

    will Red Ed call he Maj and the palace liars for their denial!

    Treason…now, does that still mean hanging!

    Or could we just send Ed back to poland, thats worse than hanging!

  26. 26
    Albert Hall says:


  27. 27
    Alf Garnett says:

    So what?

    It just confirms that the Royal judgement on Cameron and his non-existent qualities is as tribal and maladroit in this, as in almost everything else.

    They should pipe down and keep catching the wads of wonga that Joe Public so generously gives them or allows them to keep.

  28. 28
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    The fun’s about to start! It’s an almost full chamber!

  29. 29
    Do not like the idle rich says:

    Oh imagine!

    Everyone knew about Coulson.

    Except toffee nosed Old Etonian “give him a second chance” Cameron.

    Are Tories thick or what?

  30. 30
    Moley. says:

    Is it the Sorcerer or his apprentice who is running things at Order-Order today?

    One detects a note of “je ne sais quoi” of late.

  31. 31
    Cressida's Dick says:

    What the fuck are you on about Bercow you twat. You’re responsible for security. Any chance of an apology? Thought not.

  32. 32
    les says:

    Do an update Guido = the Palace have described Labour MP Chris Bryant’s claims as “outrageous”!!!

  33. 33
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier! says:

    Tom Baldwin is your new advisor l see!

  34. 34
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Labour don’t seem to like the appointment of George Jones to the inquiry.

  35. 35
    Down with Brown! says:

    Heard it on Sky two hours ago. Hardly a scoop.

  36. 36
    Loungelizard says:

    Just Phil the Greek’s idea of a joke.

  37. 37
    Selohesra says:

    or the famine in Africa or the relentless bias by the BBC who have been disgrace (even more so than usual) throughout this latest episode

  38. 38
    The most Liberal Socialist PM says:

    Just face up to it. Dave HAS been a big disappointment.

  39. 39
    Down with Brown! says:

    This George Jones?

  40. 40
    Selohesra says:

    Is Gordon there again?

  41. 41
    Ed Milicunt says:

    I trutht Mithter Baldwin!

  42. 42
    Idle Poor says:

    Fur Furks sake. When is this shit gonna finish and we can get hole in the wall be back on?

  43. 43
    I don't like the idle poor says:

    Keep up the struggle comrade!

  44. 44

    I had no high hopes anyway.

  45. 45
    Nick's having a good war says:

    George looks really grumpy these days.

  46. 46
    Daniel Van-Desoutter says:

    The House of Windsor is part of the EU problem.

    Not once has Queen Elizabeth even attempted to thwart the legislation that she knows will remove British sovereignty.

    Allowing Brown to sign Lisbon without a whimper shows all British people that the House of Windsor is not worth a damn – we will tolerate it whilst Queen Elizabeth is on the throne but when that uber idiot Charles takes over I know republicanism will increase here – & rightly so.

  47. 47
    Tax Payer says:

    Why couldn’t Hutton make witnesses take an oath about an infinitely more serious subject??

  48. 48
    Gordon Brown says:

    I like cress on my dick.

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    So, bascially, Labour can just make up what they want, and people like the Beeb and Guido will attempt to spin it as fact, even in the face of the Palace saying it’s rubbish? I guess the Beeb and Guido really really want to see Ed Miliband in No.10.

  50. 50
    The Umpire is always right! says:

    Is there PMQS today?

  51. 51
    Gordon Brown says:

    It started in America. It’s the shite thing to poo.

  52. 52
    Down with Brown! says:

    No, just questions of the PM’s statement instead.

  53. 53

    Phil the Greek grew up in Germany, and wore Nazi uniform.

  54. 54
    misterned says:

    So the media have failed to get anything true, factual and concrete to use against Cameron and are now falling back on rumour, smear and innuendo without attribution?

    This has gone beyond desperation to the cusp of madness and fallen into the abyss of outright insanity.

  55. 55
    Sophie says:

    Sad but true – they can no longer be justified on any level – certainly not on a financial one.

    Her Maj could have voiced her displeasure at Kommon Purpose and the rise of federalism.

    Too late for them now – Charles will be the death of British royalty.

  56. 56
    Down with Brown! says:

    Cameron backs his Etonian mate Ed.

  57. 57
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Cameron defending chief of staff.

  58. 58
    Chris Bryant says:

    Ohh! Her Maj just denied my leak..Ohhh err..get her. the silly old slapper. Well, here’s another one I’m off to stick it in at the BBC, pardon my french letter!
    Mrs Thatcher phoned someone at someplace to say that Coulson was as bent as an airline steward.

    Ohh..its true and you’d all better believe it or i’ll scratch your eyes out you little bitches.

  59. 59
    Benny Fitz says:

    “je ne sais pas faire la différence entre mon cul et mon coude”, surely.

  60. 60
    Down with Brown! says:

    Conservative Party have never employed, contracted or paid Neil Wallis.

  61. 61
    EdMiliband says:

    In 1965 there were thixty thix quangos. Can the Pwime Minither name them? He ith out of touch! Mili Dowler!

  62. 62
    Dave to stand Down says:

    If this is the speech that Dave has to make to save his career. Then he will be pushing Trolleys next week. It is Dire

  63. 63
    Down with Brown! says:

    Clegg not impressed with Dave Cameron.

  64. 64
    Charles says:

    Is this the same Phil the Greek as the one who wore a Royal Navy uniform while shooting nazis?

  65. 65
    Down with Brown! says:

    Cameron says in hindsight he would not have given Coulson the job.

  66. 66
    My Lord PrizeClot of Hullbebuggered says:

    Never been invited to th’pally I haven’t always wanted to try their piesgood ones I bet.

    Like to try a housemaid too in them black dresses.


  67. 67
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    I actually think it’s decent and refreshing that Cameron is so contrite and open about his hiring of Coulson and his pledge to apologise if he’s found guilty. Not once did we ever get an apology or such a humble appearance from Blair and Brown. For all his flaws, Cameron’s a decent human being.

  68. 68
    Benny Fitz says:

    He jutht doethnt get it.

  69. 69
    The Umpire is always right! says:

    Thanks ;-)

  70. 70
    600 MPs says:

    Dave has stopped us going on our Holidays just to say sorry?

  71. 71
    My Lord PrizeClot of Hullbebuggered says:

    I’d smack ‘em in the gob!

  72. 72
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Ed’s attempt to appear solemn and serious is hilarious.

  73. 73

    It’s a point of view.

  74. 74
    Steve Miliband says:

    Follow that Ed you twat

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Palace officials didn’t say anything about hiring Andy that what they say. But it was said members of the Royal Family told Cameron, this hasn’t been denied by the Royal Family.

  76. 76
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Caroline Flint flashing a lot of leg today.

  77. 77
    Gordon Brown says:

    I prefer the sand dunes.

  78. 78
    imnumbervi says:

    Don’t tell me what I want to hear Bercow – must be a socialist as he knows best.

  79. 79
    Spartacus says:

    Named Pilgrim?

  80. 80
    Down with Brown! says:

    Ed is struggling so far.

  81. 81
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Oh shut the fuck up Bercow.

    Millitwat in full faux sanctimonious mode.

  82. 82
    imnumbervi says:

    Hahahaha – Miliband tried to say ‘specific’

  83. 83
    TUC says:

    That’s our Boy.

    Go Ed Go.

  84. 84
    Cressida's Dick says:

    So he can get something right after all.

  85. 85
    Down with Brown! says:

    What about Brown and Milliband’s relationship with McBride? There were lots of people warning them about him.

  86. 86
    Steve Miliband says:

    He takes the biscuit

  87. 87
    Greg Tingey says:

    IF Cameroon is shown to have been warned previously about Coulson etc …
    Then HM is perfectly entitled to dismiss him, and frankly, I hope she does!
    By precedent she will have to appoint a tory.
    One who has no connection at all with this sordid business.
    Like, erm … Ken Clarke?

  88. 88
    Benny Fitz says:

    Eddy floundering HAHAHA

  89. 89
    The Thighs have it says:

    Looks Like Wendi Murdoch has inspired our women MPs to flash their legs. Well done Wendi.

  90. 90

    The way things are going
    Dave should be phoning the Queen pretty soon

  91. 91
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    I can’t stand Harman’s facial expressions. Makes her utterly punchable.

  92. 92
    imnumbervi says:

    Dave – go over there and flatten the twat.
    You’ll get voted in next time without fail.

  93. 93
    Getting your priorities right says:

    The survival of Britain as a country and Britons as a people is far, far more important than the survival of the monarchy, the Labour party, the Tories, or any other of the myriad useless ‘British’ institutions, which at best look the other way and do nothing, at worst are complicit in our destruction.

  94. 94
    pete says:

    I can’t think of anyone important or influential who lives in Buckingham Palace.

    So what’s this story all about?

  95. 95
    Benny Fitz says:

    Tragic conflict of loyalty

    Stephenson “trapped”

    Ed trying to sound simultaneously like Rumpole, Poirot and Mills & Boon.

  96. 96
    Down with Brown! says:

    Okay so Cameron in hindsight made an error of judgement appointing Coulson, but Ed Miliband makes an error of judgement every day in being a socialist.

  97. 97
    Cressida's Dick says:

    But thankfully not Harman. Yurrrrgh.

  98. 98
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Same old same old from Ed, change the bloody record you twit.

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    Desperate stuff to kep the story going. Even Guido is making the most of the opportunity for pixel copy before it fades by teatime.

  100. 100
    Down with Brown! says:

    “Stop hunting feeble conspiracy theories!”

  101. 101
    Ed has fluffed it says:

    I can’t believe it. Dave makes an absolute pigs ear of a speech and Ed instead of ramming it home continues with his even worse prepared speech.

    He had Dave on the ropes but went over to his corner and just burbled.

  102. 102
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    That was a good line from Cameron about Ed “hunting for feeble conspiracy theories”.

  103. 103
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Go on Dave, sock it to him.

  104. 104
    Fred Basset says:

    More importantly, what effect has all this nonsense had on the price of hacking jackets ?

  105. 105
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Harman looked unhappy at Cameron’s comment about Baldwin! Go Dave!

  106. 106
    Benny Fitz says:

    Miliband = Dresden

    Cameron = Bomber Command

  107. 107
    Down with Brown! says:

    Miliband was awful. Cameron on the front foot for the first time since July 4th.

  108. 108
    Steve Miliband says:

    Was that it? Apologise for hiring Coulson? What a tit

  109. 109
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    … and now Cameron starting to knife Ed (and TB and McDoom).

  110. 110
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Cameron’s on storming form!

  111. 111
    Down with Brown! says:

    I think we will hear that one again.

  112. 112
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier! says:

    Red Ed being torn a new one!

    oh dear!

  113. 113
    Down with Brown! says:

    Cameron on top form. Where has this Dave been the past couple of years?

  114. 114
    Down with Brown! says:

    DD comes to Cameron and Ed Llew defence.

  115. 115
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Cameron’s “we know which party is the slumber party” line was gold. He’s come back fighting all guns blazing. Fuck you, Ed. We won’t let Labour get away with its hypocrisy.

  116. 116
    Tell it like it really is says:

    Unf***ing believable, Cameron has just got stuck in about Murdoch saying he was closest to Brown, etc., and the bbc have cut the coverage.

    Situation normal then as soon as there is anything that doesn’t suit them.

  117. 117
    The Sleeper says:

    What bleeding statement were you watching then?….or is it irrelevant what was said,as it didn’t suit your argument.

    Millipede has blown it….continuous focus on Coulson,when the Country doesn’t give a flying f**k.

  118. 118
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    About bloody time. Ed didn’t help himself theough, he just regurgitated the same old claptrap – focussing on Coulson. Cameron has, quite rightly, brought the previous administration into the debate. Labour are fooked.

  119. 119

    Been using your leisure time on Rosetta Stone, Benny?

  120. 120
    voyeur says:

    Retard’s a clueless chump. Happy days.

  121. 121
    Insider says:

    I think we’re talking Fergie

  122. 122

    He just doesn’t get it!

  123. 123
    Frank's son says:

    FFS! Cameron mentions that Murdoch was closest to Brown and the BBC cut away from the debate!

  124. 124
    Down with Brown! says:

    Cameron not missing a chance to bash Blair and Brown.

  125. 125
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Damn bloody right. Cameron has screwed up but the deadhead reds are in it up to their necks as well. Wankers.

  126. 126

    Yes, I’d heard that, too.

  127. 127
    The BBC says:

    Please contact us with any complaints and we will consider them in due course. Thank you for watching the BBC. And please remember to renew your licence.

  128. 128
    David Bike says:


  129. 129
    Sir William Waad says:

    Sources close to Tsar Nicholas II claimed that he ‘had not been warned’ that Grigori Rasputin was a dangerous and tainted man when the Tsarina took him into the royal household. The Tsar ‘had been told that Rasputin could work miracles’, including curing the sick little Conservative Party, and was ‘good for the royal image(s)’.

    Apparently the Lord Chamberlain was warned that Rasputin ‘was a total fruitcake’ but, instead of telling Tsar Nicholas, told the royal butler, who told the housekeeper, who wrote it down but forgot it and left her only note of it on a number 73 tram somewhere in Nevsky Prospekt.

  130. 130
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Miliband has been put in his place well and truely. Labour are useless.

  131. 131
    Tell it like it really is says:

    The source was being given as Bryant this morning and I thought “How appropriate, a queen bitching about a queen.”

  132. 132
    Thought It Would Happen says:

    Ed has lost the impetus.

  133. 133
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The hypocrisy of Ed Miliband and Labour has sunk to new low depths.

  134. 134
    TollyPointBee says:

    Cameroon has completely cut Coulson adrift. If you were Andy would you go on any long walks in the woods alone?

  135. 135
    Sarah Brown says:

    No Gordon that was the sewage farm

  136. 136
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Oh fuck. Twatson’s got to his feet. Must be on a 5 min break from his ten hour visit to Burger King.

  137. 137

    Yes. A worthy successor to Charles the first. Get the scaffold up outside the Banqueting House in Whitehall, Billy. Same window as last time please.


  138. 138
    Down with Brown! says:

    Terrible question from Watson. He obviously didn’t hear what Cameron actually said.

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:


    This the BBC

    Some dodgy geezer in the Gay Hussars pub has told Chris Bryant that he warned David Cameron not to hire Andy Coulson.

  140. 140
    Casual Observer says:

    There’s nothing like a threat to your sense of entitlement to focus the mind.

  141. 141
    Desperate Dan says:

    The BBC are so monumentally corrupt that they’ve censored the debate and put Andrew Neil on instead. Thank God for Sky.

  142. 142
    Gordon Brown says:

    That scary Mr Murdoch scares me. I just did a poo in my underpanties. That’ll show him for saying we were friends.

  143. 143
    The BBC are cunts says:

    Can we just make it absolutely crystal clear that NO Liebour prime minister has EVER made one, minute mistake, however small, at all, ever.

  144. 144
    Postal Vote says:

    Chris Bryant’s use of language about The Palace was very interesting I thought. It seemed infomred by the same lawyer that Gordong Brown must have consulted prior to his beeb interview lats week in which Brown was very careful to prevent making direct allegations, as opposed to during his speech in the commons when he was protected by parliamentary privilege.

    Bryant says he has “indirect” sources.
    Bryant says The Palace “has made attempts” to object to Coulson.
    Bryant says The Palace has contacted staff around Cameron, not Cameron directly and no name at all.

    Very clever use of language, but also very telling. Desperate attempt to deflect attention from Miliband’s list with the many meeting with News International.

  145. 145
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Labour don’t like it when someone mentions their cosy relationship with NI.

  146. 146
    South of the M4 says:

    Still on the BBC website.

  147. 147
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    Quite, any retard can become monarch. It’s the power behind the throne that is more important.

  148. 148
    Alex says:

    Cameron having to start an answer with “people should not shout the honorable lady down…”

    Shouldn’t the speaker be doing that? Yet another example of how low (no pun intended) he has dragged this once honorable position.

  149. 149
    Down with Brown! says:

    What about Labour’s relationship with Trinity Mirror too?

  150. 150
    Concerned person says:

    Little Benny Bradshaw not sounding well at all. Nothing amiss I do hope, there are some nasty bugs going round. I do hope he has been wrapping up warm, as it were.

  151. 151
    Down with Brown! says:

    More evidence that Louise reads Guido. She mentioned Damien McBride.

  152. 152
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Here we go. Dennis Shitter.

  153. 153
    Desperate Dan says:

    Nick is in a sulk again. He’s like a teenager.

  154. 154

    BBC cut to Andrew Neil.
    Suppose we should be grateful they didn’t just stick on an episode of Country file.

  155. 155
    Mystick1 says:

    There should be an investigation re partisanship of the BBC. It is simply a Liebour propaganda organisation.

  156. 156
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    What signal did Skinner make? Cameron said “when he makes signals like that”.

  157. 157
    cheche says:


  158. 158
    micha987 says:

    The Guardian have posed 10 questions to No. 10 – here they are.

    1. Did civil servants at any point express concerns or offer advice on the suitability of Andy Coulson to be the prime minister’s director of communications?

    2. Did civil servants express any view or offer advice on the appropriateness of the prime minister’s meetings with Rebekah Brooks over Christmas 2010?

    3. How many times has the prime minister visited his constituency since the election?


    4. According to Downing Street’s declaration there have been five meetings between David Cameron and Rebekah Brooks since the election, two of them during Christmas 2010. Were there any other social meetings between Brooks and the prime minister since May 2010?

    Who cares? The clue is in the word SOCIAL!!!!

    5. Of the two meetings between Brooks and the prime minister disclosed over Christmas 2010, we understand one relates to a dinner at Brooks’s home on 23 December. Was the other a picnic the following day, or a drinks party on Boxing Day?

    WHAT?? Who do they think they are??? Does anyone actually care?

    6. Did the prime minister discuss either the News Corp bid for BSkyB or the phone-hacking scandal at any point with Brooks, James Murdoch or Rupert Murdoch since becoming prime minister?

    7. Did any News International executive or journalist offer advice to David Cameron or his staff on who to appoint – or who not to appoint – as the Conservative party’s communications director?

    8. Did David Cameron meet former News of the World deputy editor Neil Wallis while he was informally advising the party in 2010?

    He was informally advising COULSON, not the party.

    9. Was the prime minister aware at the time that Wallis was advising the party?

    Surely this should come above question 8?

    10. Was Wallis’s unpaid consultancy, valued by the Metropolitan police at £1,000 per day, recorded as a donation to the Conservative party? If not why was it not?

    All supremely interesting questions, and amazing enough, not one of them would make the top 100 of most people’s lists.

  159. 159
    The Sleeper says:

    FFS….Dennis Skinner……..why didn’t he defect to Russia years ago…the old C**t should be with Arthur Scargill.

  160. 160
    Mark Oaten says:

    Was he a poof?

  161. 161
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Who’s the ugly minger sitting at the end of the Labour front bench? She looks like a munchkin.

  162. 162
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Isn’t Locked in a timewarp Skinner due for retirement yet??

  163. 163
    Down with Brown! says:

    Lovely Nicola.

  164. 164
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Fanciful speculation Mr F.

  165. 165
    Gillian Duffy says:

    When is thar nice Tawney Blur going to speak?

  166. 166
    Desperate Dan says:

    No-one from the BBC was available to comment.

  167. 167
    Down with Brown! says:

    Aren’t Labour looking shit!

  168. 168
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Good questions. I assume the ones for Labour will follow shortly.

  169. 169
    micha987 says:

    You’d hope so, wouldn’t you.

    Sadly I think we have one hope of that happening, and his name is Bob.

  170. 170
    Down with Brown! says:

    What about questions for the Guardian and why they don’t pay their taxes as they should?

  171. 171
    Cressida's Dick says:

    It might be the Mother of Parliaments Bertwat but you’re the Daddy of all overblown, self important, good for nowt twats.

    Now shut up.

  172. 172
    Queenie says:

    Wasn’t it that dreadful Piers Morgan and his rag The Mirror who spilled the beans on my tupperware habits?

  173. 173
    Tell it like it really is says:

    Things the bbc don’t reveal:

    Newsnight commissioned a film on UK Uncut in January and the starring role was take by Johnny Marbles – the pie thrower from yesterday.

    Yet again selective reporting from the bbc.

  174. 174
    That's News says:

    Grim something!

  175. 175
    Move along now. says:

    So that’s it then Hack-Gate is going nowhere politically and it is now a criminal investigation. Even if Coulson is found guilty Dave has now cut the ties. Baldwin is still working for Ed mind so there may yet be a titilation or two to come out.

  176. 176
    Down with Brown! says:

    So Jonny Marbles received BBC money.

  177. 177
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    When he is front of Lord Justice Leveson. Can’t wait.

  178. 178
    That's News says:

    “One is gobsmacked!”

    Yeah. That really sounds like one of Her Majesty’s staffers, right enough!

    My arse.

  179. 179
    Steve Miliband says:

    ‘The Slumber Party’

  180. 180
    Ed Balls says:

    Hey Cressida hows about we became an item?

    Toggle and Two.

  181. 181
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Garson! Brinng mee tha chablease annd tha bollinja!

  182. 182
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    I think it was a case of, “Here’s your question Dennis, when I nod my head, you stand up and read what’s on the card.”

  183. 183
    Old Sage says:

    Necessity is the mother of invention.

  184. 184
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Handycock asking a question!

  185. 185
    Anonymous says:

    Click here to donate to his one way easyjet ticket to Zurich.

  186. 186
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier! says:

    Do they pay their taxes!

    Did they get favourable public sector money from liebour by advertising public sector jobs…as long as they show liebour in a good light!

  187. 187
    That's News says:

    But how odd that the dear old Grauniad has not bothered to enable comments for that piece? It is as if they do not want to hear what their reader’s think! How strange.

    CIF = Comment is Fucked, now, apparently.

  188. 188
    micha987 says:

    Quelle suprise. I’m almost apoplectic with shock.

  189. 189
    Queenie says:

    I love cam balls.

  190. 190
    micha987 says:

    It is purely coincidental that public sector job adverts end up in The Guardian, and is a totally non-recipricol arrangement which has never resulted in any biad on their part, or any blind support for the left.

    Honestly, you folks seem to see the bad in just about everyone ;-)

  191. 191
    Lord Fatgut says:

    I’ll have the pizza and a couple of tapas plates for starters.
    I’d have more but I’m Bulimic.

  192. 192
    micha987 says:

    Oops, *bias.

  193. 193
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Sky News running a poll asking if all this has damaged CMD’s credibility.

    They’re making the errant assumption he had any in the first place.

  194. 194
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Hurrah, The Mirror gets a mention, Labour benches go silent. Labour now know they are fooked.

  195. 195
    micha987 says:

    It’s almost as if they predicted people would react unfavourably.

    Which is reason enough, in my humble opinion, for them to treat this differently.

  196. 196
    Pie on Pie says:

    Did anyone notice that before the Pieman struck, Tom Watson left the room for several minutes?

  197. 197
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    I heard he was a member of al-pie-eater but is now in custardy.

  198. 198
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier! says:

    Red Ed…..Fucked


    Liebour……..totally fucked

  199. 199
    Lobster Throttler says:

    So tory HQ take notice of a ten year old kid who wouldn’t have fucking clue about anything apart from having his arse wiped for him, spoon fed and a gang of lackeys to do everything for him and fed by the taxpayers.
    No wonder we are fucked.

  200. 200
    649 PAIRS OF PANTS ON FIRE says:

    According to “Toilets” on sky this morning one of the people arrested in this investigation is “Singing like a canary ” LOL !

  201. 201
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Cressida Dick-Balls.

    Nice one.

  202. 202
    T Rex says:

    You mean Queen of Scots.

  203. 203
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    There was a lot of laughter when Handycock got up to ask a question. :-D

  204. 204
    Ship of Fools says:

    Bunch of utter hypocrites the f*ckin’ lot of them…

    Cozy up to the press when their jobs are on the line then pontificate and obfuscate when it’s suites them…

    This country has been badly governed by both lots of self serving lickspittles for years …

    … the revolution will not be televised…

  205. 205
    Mrs Mop says:

    Chris Bryant is pants, and not particularly clean ones either.

  206. 206
    Loungelizard says:

    Once again Upchucka proves what a lightweight he is as Cameron swats him aside.

  207. 207
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    I wonder where Toilets got this information from? An ongoing Police investigation – could have only come from the Police then (it would not, or really should not come from his/her legal representative). Do they ever learn?

  208. 208
    Cressida's Dick says:

    According to the local rag today ‘I wasn’t prepared to spend 2 hours listening to her stonewalling’. Morelike ‘If I carried on I was going to enhance my reputation for being a greasy useless twat. Plus the pie shop was closing’.

  209. 209
    Down with Brown! says:

    Worst question of the lot from Chuka.

  210. 210
    Ed (Bernie Winters) is weird says:

    I still miss Shnorbitz.

  211. 211
    YorkshireLad says:

    And who in the palace is using such dreadful language as ‘gobsmacked’?
    Off with their fucking heads!

  212. 212
    English Viking says:

    Nah, Austin Allegro. A pooey brown-coloured one, with ripped vinyl seats and a dodgy water pump,

  213. 213
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    WAHHH WAHHH That awful BBC strikes again.

    Bet Dave doesn’t lift a finger and you keep paying your license fee though LOL!

  214. 214
    Down with Brown! says:

    Which moron let a founder of UK Uncut in the room with Murdoch and didn’t think that he might undertkae a stunt? Why wasn’t his bag searched?

  215. 215
    Selohesra says:

    better still should be six foot under

  216. 216
    Sensii says:

    When you can take pebble from hand, then you are ready.

  217. 217
    Cressida's Dick says:



  218. 218
    Anon says:

    HAHAHAHA…. fucking stitch that Blinky!!!!!!!!!! You TWATTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

  219. 219
    Sarah Palin says:

    They don’t call him the new Obama for nothing.

  220. 220
    Down with Brown! says:

    Cameron goes on the attack:

    McBride – writing smears from the Downing Street bunker.
    Campbell – writing dodgy dossiers in Downing Street.
    Baldwin – still in Miliband’s office.

  221. 221
    Another Engineer says:

    What makes you think he brought the stuff in? My money is on an inside job.

    Anyone going to listen to his voicemail? Or pay the mobile company to obtain his phone records? No? Pity…

  222. 222
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    It appears to have rattled Balls. Good.

  223. 223
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier! says:

    Dave crushes Balls!

    Liebour have fucked themselves for the next 20 years!

    Its a long week in politics!

    Anyone seen Baldwin, he owes me cash!

  224. 224
    Another Engineer says:

    That was meant to be a reply to 212

  225. 225
    Raving Loon says:

    I agree, and you don’t have to be an uber hippie to be a Republican these days. If the monarchy cannot or will not do anything about the EU, and the end of our liberty, then they do not serve any function apart from being a zoo of a bygone era.

    English Bill Of Rights 1689


    “And I do declare That noe forreigne Prince Person Prelate, State or Potentate hath or ought to have any Jurisdiction Power Superiority Preeminence or Authoritie Ecclesiastical or Spiritual within this Realme Soe helpe me God.’’

  226. 226
    Honest answers pls says:

    If Cameron is unable to make sound decisions in regards to advisors or friends, why should he be trusted to make sound decisions on behalf of the UK?

    Hint: The answer is not ‘Brown did it aswell and I hate the BBC’.

  227. 227
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier! says:

    liebour stitch up!

    Wonder form them will face prison for that stunt!

  228. 228
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Cameron said the bbc should be included in any look at media reform.

  229. 229
    Cressida's Dick says:

    He made us wait the little tinker but he got there in the end.

    Plus Bollocks was agitated, which is a good thing.

  230. 230
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Dodgy freezer. May bazaar. Hold and tie it. Warm lazy man and son. And he sold some. Pass it on.

  231. 231
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    That was a fun exchange between Cameron and Blinky. Blinky really didn’t look happy at Cameron mentioning McBride, Campbell and Baldwin. :-D

  232. 232
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Shall we hold our breath?? EU referendum??

  233. 233

    That was a good line.

  234. 234
    Mike Hunt says:

    an early one, with square steering wheel.

  235. 235
    My Vote Never Counts says:

    I didn’t hear this – was it when Radio 5 happened to ‘cut away’ for a load of waffle from potato-head by any chance?

  236. 236

    Well, I’ll concede he made a pretty serious error of judgement by appointing Coulson.

    But let’s wait until he actually commits the country to a decade long war to find weapons that don’t exist before we decide if its a resigning matter.

  237. 237
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Peter Bone’s catchphrase “Mrs Bone wondered” always makes me laugh.

  238. 238
    Gordon says:

    Sarah I told you not to publish those fucking Diaries. Stupid woman.

    I’m the laughing stock of parliament now.

  239. 239
    cheche says:


  240. 240
    Anonymous says:

    On the basis of the terms of reference of the new Media Control Law 2011 all I can say is – hello

  241. 241
    Desperate Dan says:

    No-one in their right mind would take advice on staff recruitment from Nick Clegg, Paddy Pantsdown and Alan Rusbridger.

  242. 242
    McPoison & Dolly the Creep says:

    We are as pure as the driven slush !!

  243. 243
    Mike Hunt says:


  244. 244
    Tapestry says:

    It was undoubtedly a stunt. Eyewitness report in Guido’s right hand column shows Jonnie Marbles was guided to target by a man in a suit. His gf was with him and two others. The eyewitness tried to talk to Police and journalists. Neither were the slightest bit interested.


  245. 245
    Mike Hunt says:

    She’s not a woman.

  246. 246
    Cressida's Dick says:


  247. 247
    EdButLookBalls says:

    WatO reported a different encounter as usual. Norman Smith is a cnut of the first order, his reporting always paints retardED in glowing terms !!

    Feck off you Beeboid!!

  248. 248
    Honest answers pls says:

    Do you hate the BBC by any chance?

  249. 249
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier! says:

    To Red Ed…..”Don’t bring a knife to a Gunfight

    “You see that glow flashing in the corner of your eye?

    That’s your career dissipation light.

    It just went into high gear.”

    So Long Liebour.

  250. 250
    EdButLookBalls says:

    DC has flushed the Liebour traitors out, let Rupe rip them apart!

  251. 251
    Chuka Ego says:

    Chuka on Sky making a pompous tit of himself.

    That bloke is heading for a big fall.

  252. 252
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Son of Obama now on Sky News.

    Talking bollocks as usual.

  253. 253
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Labou’s Sharon Hodgson should shut her fat fucking mouth and lay off the pies.

  254. 254
    W.W. says:

    Baggsy first go with the axe.

    Am I allowed to blunt the edge a bit first?


  255. 255
    MacGuffin says:

    The backbenchers are certainly revolting.

  256. 256
    Anonymous says:

    Aye Gordon, ya reet full o’sh*t!

  257. 257
    My 75-year-old Dad says says:

    He’s still vastly preferable to the delusional twats that were running the country (into the ground) for the last decade or so.

  258. 258
    Steve Miliband says:

    It was undoubtedly a c*nt.

  259. 259
    b34st says:

    Dear Bill Cameron did commit us to three wars
    I know that you are getting on a bit but please try and keep up

  260. 260
    Fangfarrier says:


  261. 261
    Cressida's Dick says:

    When Chukka is making a point he speaks slowly & clearly. When someone makes an opposing view he rattles through his answer like a hamster on speed. Twat.

  262. 262
    South of the M4 says:

    If the Labour party are so full of hate that they become so overly focussed on their orchestrated plan, involving blatant lies, just to smear Cameron – are they fit to govern?

  263. 263
    Labour Party Member says:

    Today, after I have collected my benefits, I will spend a bit of time looking around for some 80 year-olds to attack.

  264. 264
    Moley. says:

    One is left with some hope that in the brave new world to which we aspire, that all political parties will have to list all their contacts with all the media groups, and all those who work in those groups..

    Labour politicians at BBC – all included.
    Labour politicians at Guardian – all included.

    Everything covered.

    The BBC can then monitor its impartiality by publishing its contacts diary, (online?) just as the political parties will have to do.

    One can but hope.

    Maybe we will see the day when newspapers no longer tell their readers how to vote, because by so doing, each media outlet (print) has the potential to double its potential market.

  265. 265
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    Every Labour MP has been instructed to ask the same question. Very tedious.

  266. 266
    W.W. says:

    “Except toffee nosed Old Etonian “give him a second chance” Cameron”

    At least he only got a second chance, remind me how many chances Mandleson got,

    He resigned twice, then was given a cushy job in Brussles, then invited back to help Brown lose the election.

    All the time he should have been in jail for fraud.

    But it’s Ok as that was the ‘right thing to do’

  267. 267
    Loungelizard says:

    Five live having leftie wankfest!

  268. 268
    Anonymous says:

    Was it when he was in NOW or Mirror? He was trained in NOW.

  269. 269
    Gordon Brown ate my hamster says:

    I just Nokia’d a baby. It was the right thing to do.

  270. 270
    Steve Miliband says:

    Who’s Bill Cameron?

  271. 271
    Cressida's Dick says:

    When in fact what they should be asking is:

    ‘How in the name of all that’s holy did we elect that useless waste of space as Leader’.

  272. 272
    East India Company wallah says:

    Her husband is,apparently

  273. 273
    Down with Brown! says:

    McBride has advised Blinky since leaving the Bunker.

  274. 274
    Loungelizard says:

    Ed will write the news.

  275. 275
    Alex says:

    What, by voting in favour of wars based on false intelligence?

  276. 276
    Southern Softy says:

    Yes, quartic.
    My dad had one and the “fitters” at Longbridge put it on skew.
    Boy that was fun to drive.
    When it started.

  277. 277
    Alex says:

    Damn right, let’s not forget that the latter employs Polly Toynbee – nuff said!

  278. 278
    Fog says:

    Confusingly, Sky had running along the bottom of the screen – Breaking News: Palace ‘shocked’ at Cameron hiring Coulson Breaking News : Palace didn’t raise any objections

    They don’t know which way to turn

  279. 279
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Dave answers yet another rehash of the BSkyB question:


    Exasperated or what.

  280. 280
    Legs 11 says:

    Looks like stella Creasy forgot to put her skirt on. Her belt is quite wide though.

  281. 281
    imnumbervi says:

    Situation normal

  282. 282
    David Jordan BBC Director of Editorial Policy says:

    Alan Yentob and Michael Grade, who as you know are buying Television Centre with the help of their friends, intend to take over BSkyB as soon as possible. Please give Robert Peston, Nick Robinson and the supporters of Hacked Off every opportunity to slagg off the Murdochs, David Cameron and the Conservative Party who are proving to be a bit of a block on their plans.

  283. 283
    nell says:

    ‘false intelligence’?!!

    They were outright lies fabricated by alicampbell and endorsed by his boss bliar!

  284. 284
    East India Company wallah says:

    sheer good fortune-o joy it is to be alive

  285. 285
    The Sheikh Of Arabeeee says:

    You should have said:

    “Fucking sordid fucking Fabianist fucking cocksucking fucking nasty little arse-bandit makes up fucking crap knowing that some gullible twat will reproduce his bletherings thus getting the disgusting little turdburglar some column inches (f’naar, f’naar)”.

    If there is a more vile creature than this sucking on the scabby teat of the body politic I have yet to see it. He’s worse than fucking Balls; Balls I just want to punch and kick very hard indeed, for several hours if necessary; this little bastard makes me want to scrub my skin with Dettol under a very hot shower.

  286. 286
    Sir Nigel Keith Anthony Standish Vazeline says:

    It’s not a vendetta I said I was squeaky clean, I told them they would regret it though.

  287. 287
    Rat's arse says:

    Dave Cameron has done a terrific job and really shown up the Leiber Party for what it is – a complete and utter pile of lying shite. Well done Dave!

  288. 288
    Loungelizard says:

    Thought a Yentob was some kind of greasy middle eastern snack.

  289. 289
    micha987 says:

    Or, when you can spell sensei.

  290. 290
    Anonymous says:

    He also added that we live in the present & that is when we make our decisions.

  291. 291
    JH says:

    The honest answer is, go fuck yourself desperate little turd.

  292. 292
    Ship of Fools says:

    Utter bollocks… Cammo is arse covering and labour are letting him get away with it… By incompetance rather than design it is true

    Although, I thought the comment about Labour and the BBC and Torries and NI was almost and very nearly erudite…???

    You cannot get away from the fact that the Mudoch mafia has managed to get a placeman at the heart of the Lib-Con administration and managed to cover their bet by getting another inside the top cop shop… at the same time trying to get their own way over BSB after Vince got shafted…

    I bet they thought they were free and clear away with the loot…

    Old Sicilian saying: One hand washes the other… together they wash the face…

  293. 293
    Alex says:

    I don’t disagree with you Nell – I may have understated the point ;-)

  294. 294
    I cried when I read this says:

    Axe? You namby pamby bleedin heart softy. Bludgeon the imbecile with a cctv camera.

  295. 295
    Conundrum says:

    So, not such a “remarkable young man” then, more an overprivileged, well connected “chancer”

    Anyone who can number “Fishy Fingers” Ross along with Rebekah Brooks, as close friends has got to be just the latest in a long list of parliamentary pocket liners!

    All shows just how desperate to git rid of Brown we all were.

  296. 296
    Madme Defarge says:

    No-one has commented on the fact that Cameron is obviously the Palace’s man. His connection to them is close – some cousin to the Queen I believe. This little nugget goes a considerable way to explaining why they are pushing the Sovereign Support Grant through Parliament.
    The excuse is that it “tidies things up”but the reality is the Windsors will get even more taxpayer’s cash via a share of the Crown Estates and there will be complete lack of scrutiny about it as they are exmpt from Freedom of Information laws.
    Charles has been after this for decades and has been handed it on a plate by Osborne and Cameron. Just what are the useless MPs doing by allowing this?
    Once the Royal finances get inextricably mixed with the Crown Estates they will be after the lot.

  297. 297
    BoredNow says:

    Might have known it was Chris Bryant.

    “There is only room for one queen in London and it’s not Lizzy”.

  298. 298
    Vazeline® The Slipperiest Substance On The Planet says:

    Can I politely point out that my moniker and variants are the registered trade mark of myself, Keith Vaz.

    Any unauthorised use may be met with a stiff letter from the renowned law firm: Messrs Nine Bob Note.

    Thank you.

    “None More Slippery”

  299. 299
    Of Course I've A Dick says:

    I hope to be your new Metropolitan Police Commissioner very soon, and then you will all be able to rest peacefully in that knowledge.

  300. 300
    Jimmy says:

    “a mysterious phone-call was received that was traced back to Buckingham Palace”

    That Michael Fagan was such a kidder.

  301. 301
    Palace of Westminster HR Department says:

    He’d make a damn fine Punkah Wallah though!

  302. 302
    Harlow Smelly Stansted Exprees Line says:

    i presume you lot were watching the wallpaperer cowering behind the Camoron’s coat bum flap?

  303. 303
    mullioned vino says:

    remarkable at being a poor judge of character

  304. 304
    Dodgy engineering says:

    Didn’t the rear wheels have a tendency to come off them as well?

  305. 305
    Classic car reality says:

    What, rusty and clapped out after two years of normal use?

  306. 306
    The Elderly & Skint Tellywatchers of The Nation says:

    No, but the BBC hates us.

  307. 307
    Cynical Old Man says:

    Chris Bryant originally made this allegation. As the palace is well known to have staff comprised almost entirely of a gay mafia, was pillow talk responsible for this story?

  308. 308
    Cynical Old Man says:

    Bryant’s lawyer wouldn’t be Mark Lewis, by any chance?

  309. 309
    Tapestry says:

    Yes. the very same. many British aristos admired Hitler and didn’t want a war. Only the bankers wanted the war, which was designed to crush the British Empire and Germany, and expand socialism out of Russia and China and spread it across the world, the preferred political system of the elites, for suppressing the masses.

    Phil grew up in Germany before the war. It’s a fact. many of his closest relatives were Nazi Party supporters. He himself expressed an admiration for Hitler. I’m not saying he was wrong to do so..just pointing out an error in the narrative.

  310. 310
    Tapestry says:

    btw why do my embeds not work any more? Is there a bug in your algorithm, Guido?

  311. 311
    Basil the Great says:

    Should be with Michael Foot

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