April 11th, 2011

“Handy-cock’s” Pot Kettle Politics

LibDem MP,  “Defence expert” and self-confessed teen fondler Mike Hancock thought he would offer his two cents about the tragic shooting on board the HMS Astute:

“I am surprised that this man was on a nuclear submarine, I would have thought there was tight scrutiny for our submariners, so how on earth he passed I don’t know. I will be questioning what’s going on. I feel very unsure about somebody who has an element of eccentricity about himself – by calling himself Reggie Moondogg, putting it on Facebook – joining the Navy, getting recruited to serve on a nuclear submarine and then being given a weapon to guard it. So there must be some questions about his suitability. I can’t understand how the vetting programme has let this happen.”

Frankly Guido is surprised that this man is still in Parliament, he would have thought there was tight scrutiny for our politicians, so how on earth Hancock passed he does not know.

Does text-pest Mike “give me a chance princess” Hancock really have the audacity to accuse other people of having “an element of eccentricity about” them? And if Hancock’s staff choices are anything to go by, he’s not one to criticise vetting procedures either.

The suspected spy he employed in the Commons has landed a new job as political correspondent for Russian TV.


68 Comments

  1. 1
    marcus Aurelius says:

    this is why constituents need to recover the right to recall their MPs, something that CMD promised us. Mind you he gave a cast iron guarantee of a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty too.

  2. 2
    Laughing at you says:

    Tat will be along in a second to shit himself again

  3. 3
    Handycock says:

    Gimme a chance, Guido.

  4. 4
    AC1 says:

  5. 5
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Parliament really is the home of the weird, perverted and thick.

  6. 6
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Sounds good to me, We are already spending 600 billion a year.

  7. 7
    Dual Citizen says:

    If only the sub had docked down the river in Portsmouth, Handycock would have been the city counciller on board.

  8. 8
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    What an idiot. Giving himself a false name on the internet.

  9. 9
    Tax Payer says:

    We live in a representative democracy.

  10. 10
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    PS: the Daily Mail says he changed his name by deed poll. So it was his legal name, and that was the name he had to apply to get into the navy with. Or the newspaper made it up.

  11. 11
    indeed! says:

    You are overly represented.

  12. 12
    84obf says:

    Does the Hunt even live in Portsmouth?

  13. 13
    Fa Kin Su Pah says:

    Eccentricity is a good thing.
    Being a deluded useless
    retarded cock eyed c**t is entirely
    another.

  14. 14
    Mong Brown's admission of mistakes says:

    Brown’s utterly pathetic admission that he made mistakes on banks is too little too late. The c unt didn’t say that before the election or after the election. It’s taken almost a year since losing the election for the arsehole to take any responsibility and he chose to do it in a speech in the US, not in the actual country he owes an apology. This vile, vile creature, who appeared on GMTV to tell us if he lost the election he and his beard would do charity work and that “I’m not interested in business or making money, I want to do something that does good”, is constantly flying around the world – and in the process bullying a pregnant woman to give up her seat – flogging his cv in the desperate hope of getting himself a job, even though he already has a job as an MP which he hasn’t been doing!

    I didn’t think it was possible to hate this creature even more but I do. He is beyond despicable. He is a horrific excuse for a human being.

  15. 15
    Innit? says:

    Short story: There’s this lunatic who should have been in psychiatric care but wasn’t as there wasn’t enough. He was put on jobseeker’s allowance but a clampdown on benefit scroungers ends up in a cracking job on a nuclear submarine. The staff at the jobcentre are delighted as now another scrounger has a job they get to keep theirs. Cutbacks mean vetting for weapons use isn’t good enough so they give him a gun. After six months locked in a submarine they tell him more cutbacks mean he has to do another six months straight away. Faced with the shame of not even being allowed to be a scrounger, the lunatic takes the gun he shouldn’t have and starts shooting people he shouldn’t have been allowed work alongside in the wrong place he should’ve been locked up in.

  16. 16
    Reggie Moondogg says:

    And he calls ME eccentric?

  17. 17
    legal alien says:

    So thats what Dr Shipman is up to these days, representing the good folk of Portsmouth

  18. 18
    Hancock's bullshit says:

    It’s a shame that it was not Portsmouth Councillor Mike Hancock doing a visit that day. I somehow feel that he would not have covered himself in glory if he had faced the same situation.

  19. 19
    I detect a Patten says:

    Just shows how wide the corruption and infiltration of our ruling class is.

    Talking of traitors, here’s another one, this time pushing the ‘let’s get Turkey into the EU’ buillshit again.

    Oh, and he’s also the new Tory appointed head of the BBC!

    TRUSTING THE BBC?

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Arse.

  21. 21
    Backwoodsman says:

    Re-reading a back edition of ‘Shooting Times’ recently, and there was a pic of old handycock on the Editors news page – he had been voted the nations most animal friendly MP by one of the militant anti groups . Bit like when the Russian security guy said he was their best intelligence asset !

  22. 22
    Mike Hancock's conscience says:

    “I am surprised that I am in the House of Commons, I would have thought there was tight scrutiny for parliamentarians, so how on earth I passed I don’t know. I will be questioning what’s going on. I feel very unsure about myself who has an element of eccentricity – by calling myself an MP, putting it on Facebook – joining parliament, getting recruited to serve in Parliament and then being given a vote. So there must be some questions about my suitability. I can’t understand how the vetting programme has let this happen.”

  23. 23
    Obadiah Polkinghorn says:

    Arse.

  24. 24
    Baldric says:

    No. He lives in leafy Fareham, about 8 miles out of the city. But he keeps a lock up garage in the city to keep his “residency”.

  25. 25
    wankers aweigh!! says:

    Give me a chance princess….I know my cock can make you happy.

  26. 26
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Are thier any “Normal” people in parliament?

  27. 27
    Katya says:

    He was animal in bedski. A sloth, most oftenski.

  28. 28
    Lord Fondlebum of Boy and Bankbonus says:

    You sound like a nice boy. Come up and see me sometime.

  29. 29
  30. 30
    annette curton says:

    “So there must be some questions about his suitability” LOL what a brilliant summation from Handycock, yeah the guy just shot 4 people that’s usually a no,no in most walks of life, even in the armed forces if they happen to be people on your own side.

  31. 31
    Billy, Billy Billy... says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha…..ha

  32. 32
    Puppet Masters says:

    We weed out the normal, so only the bribed and the blackmailed remain.

    They’re so easier to control that way.

  33. 33
    marcus Aurelius says:

    why is Donovan being tried in a civilian court? Isn’t this a matter of Naval Discipline?

  34. 34
    Raquel's_Chest says:

    Astute?

    The word seems to sum up everything that means the opposite nowadays:

    Some recent “Astute” moves:

    1) Setting up the FSA to oversee & regulate UK Banks

    2) Declaring UK is “unable” to limit EU migration (without regard that dark green, amorphous, wet body that surrounds the Island – known as the Sea).

    3) Using pensioner-savers to subsidise juicy homeowner mortgages

    4) Nick Clegg condemning Nepotism

    5) Putting a big, small “i” on the cover of a daily newspaper

    I’m sure these are just a few examples of countless others………….

  35. 35

    From the telegraph link.

    It said: “Good to hear Harriet Harman banging on about internships. It’s terrible how coveted positions go to those whose parents have influence, isn’t it?
    “I was reminded of an instance about four years ago when I was working for an ad agency that did a lot of Central Office of Information advertising and other government work.
    “A rather useless young man was foisted on us for a couple of weeks. Had he succeeded in open competition and fair assessment?
    “Who knows. But his mum was Harriet Harman.”

    I’m sure I read that on here a few days ago.

  36. 36
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Well, thats care in the nuclear community for you.

  37. 37
    Goron Clown says:

    Don’t forget my whizzbang wheeze at selling gold and buying euros. Fucking A.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Mellow Yellow was worthy of a criminal record.

  39. 39
  40. 40
    It's not gay if you do it under water says:

    Sergeant! Take that man’s name.

    …and his telephone number…

  41. 41

    “I am surprised that this man was made Prime Minister, I would have thought there was tight scrutiny on our leaders, so how on earth he passed I don’t know. I will be questioning what’s going on. I feel very unsure about somebody who has an element of eccentricity about himself – by calling himself Mr Bean, putting frightening videos on youtube, unable to choose a favourite biscuit on Mumsnet – joining the Labour Party, getting recruited to serve at the Treasury and then being given the task of guarding the nation’s finances, and then blowing them away. So there must be some questions about his suitability. I can’t understand how the vetting programme has let this happen.”

  42. 42
    Beckett Fish says:

    Hang him

  43. 43
    Gordon Brown says:

    Did I say it started in America? Well it didn’t. I fucked it up proper and Ed Balls helped me.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/gordon-brown/8441882/Gordon-Brown-I-made-a-big-mistake-on-banks.html#

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Internships indeed!, send them all to Guantanamo Bay.

  45. 45
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    He was Governor of Hong Kong.

    Cronyism at it’s best.

  46. 46
    Handymong says:

    Can I appear on CBeebies? I feel it’s important that kids learn about politics.

  47. 47
    Cat in a Bin says:

    1. Shirley its not “hacking” if they didn’t change their (widely known) default PIN. That’s like leaving your front door wide open and then claiming “breaking and entering”

    2. Is Prescott really admitting that as Deputy PM he was using a non-CESG approved phone and didn’t change his PIN?

  48. 48
    Gordon Brown says:

    I admit I made a mistake.

    I should have had all non-Labour voters killed.

  49. 49
    Innit? says:

    Shooting and killing people? No…….

  50. 50

    I couldn’t agree more. These are the blatherings of a disgraced third rate politician and their only value is to prove that he is unfit for office.

  51. 51
    Innit? says:

    It was originally posted on the Popbitch board last week.

  52. 52
    Innit? says:

    He gave us all a fair chance to vet him a mere 3 years into his Prime Minister internship.

  53. 53
    Tonto says:

    Fuck off Handycock, as a “defence” expert and I am led to understand, more than familiar with those with mental health issues, you might have been aware that every so often a member of HM Forces will have a breakdown of some type due to a multitude of pressures stresses and strains both professional and personal. Most of these type of incidents are picked up before they occur and rarely involve the discharge of firearms, deployment of other ordinance or injury, which is testament to our dedicated and professional armed forces. Your statement is testament to your ignorance of standard operating procedure, which suits me down to the ground as who knows to who, where and when you you might disclose them.
    Just to finish, fair fucks to the leader of the Council, his politics may not be my cup of tea, but he has more than earned his allowances as far as I am concerned, anyone that has disarmed someone with an SA80 carbine whilst in a small metal box that is control room of HMS Astute, deserves more than a modicum of respect.
    PS again fuck off Handycock, hope you get your day in court

  54. 54
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    You still haven’t explained why you took it into your head to conduct a late night “security test” in the naval section of Portsmouth docks in 2006. Such a good idea, but you didn’t tell anyone in the Navy or Police about it beforehand, so all that happened is that people think there is something very dodgy about you.

    http://order-order.com/2010/12/08/the-man-who-came-in-on-a-dingy/

  55. 55
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    Keep up Billy. That was in 2008. It’s £760 Billion this year, of which £150 is borrowed with the children promising to pay it back. Oh, hang on. No-one asked them. Still, it’s fun spending it.

  56. 56
    Former Naval Person says:

    “Surprised that ‘Reggie Moondogg’ was on a nuclear submarine”. Maybe – but even more surprising that ‘Handycock’ is still appearing in Parliament despite the continuing stories of his Russian, Rumanian, and under-age connections. What about his suitability and Parliamentary vetting procedures? Where is MI5 when you need it? Why haven’t they chased this one through? Never mind about Katya being a possible spy – what about the long record of Handycock himself as a Russian supporter and go-between? Time to get hold of those Russian photos and publish the long-awaited evidence.

  57. 57
    PigShit says:

    “Frankly Guido is surprised that this man is still in Parliament, he would have thought there was tight scrutiny for our politicians, so how on earth Hancock passed he does not know.”

    Frankly Guido I think all MPs have got together since the (on-going) expenses scandal and decided to stick together (all in it together) no matter what. The only thing to interupt their plan will be interventions like imprisonment or change of roles. They hate the public and feel ridiculous amongst them. They no longer share a language or a culture with us. Backs to the wall, they remain stupidly defiant

  58. 58
    dogsled says:

    You are spank_daley AICMFP.

  59. 59
    For your info says:

    And remains pledged to loyalty to the EU. So there goes the great grandchildren’s inheritance.

  60. 60
    Reggie Moondogg says:

    Leave Handycock alone. He deserves the greatest respect. He and I are both working for the FSB.

  61. 61
    Jeremy Thorpe says:

    Mike Hancock is a man of the utmost probity, intellect and judgement, and I am proud to be one of his strongest supporters. These rumours of his consorting with criminals in Portsmouth are not true, these men are all businessmen and do not launder drug profits through property development. In any case, they are all major contributors to the Liberal Democrat Party, and therefore are above reproach. The scurrilous complaints about his sexual proclivities are also not true – a colourful sex life is a prerequisite for membership of the LibDems. Finally, look how far Mike has come in life, with absolutely no education whatsoever. This man is a credit to the Liberal Democrats and should have been a candidate for the Leadership.

  62. 62
    Princess says:

    I don’t know why he was chasing me for sex when he was shagging that 25 year old Russian Spy at the same time, and all those other young girls on his foreign trips to Russia and Romania, not to mention the 17 year old schoolgirl. What is really going on here?

  63. 63
    Former Naval Person says:

    Good to hear from you Jeremy…. but still seeing things through rose-coloured glasses as in the old days. Handycock would have been a more credible leader of the party in the seventies – when flares and bouffant hair-dos were all the rage – but sadly in those days the electorate insisted on a reasonable level of education, integrity and manners – so that counted him out. Despite your assertions that Handycock’s business friends are no longer laundering their drug profits through the Portsmouth Planning system, many of us are still convinced that this is the case.

  64. 64
    Handycock says:

    Thenks Princess. God I’ve had an awful day. How about a blowjob – or even just a wank?

  65. 65
    Grand Master, Phoenix Lodge says:

    I can assure you that there is no money laundering going through the Portsmouth Planning System and Mike Hancock and his business associates are all above reproach. They are all members of my Lodge as is the Chief Executive, Portsmouth City council and many other council officers, particularly those involved in planning. Boaz.

  66. 66
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Fantastic how cocky this guy is. It is, dishonourable Delboys, like he is/was/will carry on being, that give politicians a reputation as shitheads. So arrogant that they believe they are untouchable and above the law. Carry on with Handy CockyLeaks until he packs his bags and leaves politics to the real shitheads of the next generation.

  67. 67
    citizens advice bureau says:

    “..do something that does good” — that would be suicide, then.

  68. 68
    Perv Handycock No1 spy says:

    And i will be taking alot of photos of the inside of this sub for my Russian friends to paw over
    in return for a week long stay in an eastern european orphanage !


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