March 9th, 2011

The Committee to Re-Elect de Pfeffle

A secret six strong team of the London Tory players, under Hammersmith and Fulham council’s Stephen Greenhalgh, has been tasked with warming up the fight to keep Boris in City Hall. Officially it doesn’t exist and it’s business as usual, but it’s limbering into gear. With fourteen months to go, the Committee to Re-Elect de Pfeffle have launched an attack site on their old friend Ken:

Guido’s ear on the committee seems confident that despite the anti-Tory and cuts rhetoric their boy is going to be fine. Though they are expecting a surge of support for Ken from “the haters”, traditional Tory support for Boris in 2008 wasn’t overwhelming due to the suspicion he was a mere TV clown. Though it hasn’t been the most glittering mayoralty, they are adamant that he has proved that bunch wrong. It seems the tactic is to get that lot on board and quickly. Get ready to hear a lot about “Bikes, Bikes and Strikes”…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    BoJo going to get another term easy….. Ken is so last century.

  2. 2
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    I would like to see a list of Boris’ achievements. Much as I enjoy his DT writing, for the life of me I can’t remember anything constructive that he has done as Mayor.

  3. 3
    capt apollo says:

    what is it bout ken that makes him think he has the divine right to govern London?

  4. 4
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    His newts told him so

  5. 5
    capt apollo says:

    think not of what he’s done but what he hasn’t, no meetings with dictators, extremist clerics, defending terrorists as freedom fighters and the list can go on and on and on and on……………

  6. 6
    Red Ken ( 'pond life' ) Livingscum says:

    I can’t wait to team up with the Great Leader Red Ed and his union boss Red Len.

  7. 7
    You are an evil Marxist Bastard 'Ken' says:

    Just fuck the hell off Ken

  8. 8
    Lt. Gen. Bertie Farquarson says:

    Air pollution?
    Getting rid, too slowly, of those dangerous bendy buses
    Gives Londoners a hearty laugh at least once a month?

  9. 9
    David Cameron says:

    Not if I have anything to do with it, Billy.
    Higher interest rates,higher taxes,higher unemployment.
    You know that the Tories are stark,raving bonkers.

  10. 10
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    True ….. but …

  11. 11
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    London is no place for an Old Etonian to be mayor.
    Bugger off Boris you clown !

  12. 12
    capt apollo says:

    isn’t there a old saying involving newts? might explain much

  13. 13
    P. Doff says:

    He needs frogmarching!

  14. 14
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    A bus that doesn’t work:

    Very retro. Where I lived in the 80s the bus companies decided what bus they were going to use.

  15. 15
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Wanking off the wierd londonian obsession with bendy busses you mean?

    I’ve seen them in all sorts of cities with narrow streets and lots of bikes (not belgium you understand), and they don’t have this neurosis about the things.

  16. 16
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    It’s the taxpayers money being pissed up against the wall again comrades

    Nationalised lender Northern Rock said today it was paying staff £13.1 million in bonuses for 2010 despite posting a multimillion-pound loss for the year.

    Most of the bank’s 4,500 staff, who on average earn £25,000 a year, will receive a payout of around 10% of their salary. Executive chairman Ron Sandler, who is paid £250,000 a year, is not eligible for a 2010 bonus.

    A Tory led scandal.

  17. 17
    BOB co-CROW-ch says:

    Extremists ? Terrorists ?? He doesn’t speak to me either.

  18. 18
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Hat-trick !!

    “David Cameron has lost his mojo“.

  19. 19
    Anony Mouse says:

    I’d vote for Boris (again) if he ran on an Independence for the M25 area ticket. Screw the rest of the UK!

  20. 20
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Bikes, Bikes and Strikes”…

    Has Bojo been shagging about again?

  21. 21
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I’m not a Tory troll! Promise

  22. 22
    Gordon Brown says:

    Can I be mayor?

  23. 23
    Fa Kin Su Pah says:

    You are Billy’s adopted half-brother
    Zeus who does strange things to horses
    and is a member of the Labour party

  24. 24
    Gordon says:

    Today I will be mostly pondering whether I should run for the Job…

    My Capital city and my people need me and my prudent fiscal management

  25. 25
    South of the M4 says:

    They made a loss = no corporation tax into UK. They pay bonuses = income tax revenue into UK. Result, UK plc better off.

  26. 26
    David Cameron = fra~ud says:

    I ask myself a similar question about Cameron and his seemingly divine right to ignore the wishes of the UK with respect to the extent and scope of the UK’s involvement in the European superstate.

  27. 27
    Southern Softy says:

    There’s no newts like old newts?

  28. 28
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Only if they build a 20 ft wall around the inside of the road and entry/exit permits are mandatory

  29. 29
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    How about paying back the bail -out money back to UK plc??

    Eh !

    You think you’re a smart arse don’t you ?

  30. 30
    John Ward says:

    Could this be the same part-Turkish blond gentlemen accused of beating people up for Puppy Guppy?
    The same bonker with a penchant for upmarket bikes?
    And is this the same portly bikeist whose two-wheeler lark has been an unmitigated disaster?

    I think we should be told…..

  31. 31
    Nick says:

    The problem is that disastrous as Ken was (and it pains me to admit it as a previous Boris supporter) Boris is proving little better. A report by Citroen shows that the time spent by motorists in traffic jams in London has nearly doubled in the last 5 years from 19 mins to 34 mins PER DAY. Most of this during Boris’s watch.
    As a motorcyclist this has little effect on me personally but I watch in horror as the road network is diminished and congestion deliberately manufactured. I have no idea how much this is costing the average commuter in extra petrol costs or London in general in terms of wasted time. Then there is the consequential extra CO2 that TFL seems to want to generate, despite claiming to be committed to reducing it.
    I’m afraid Boris just isn’t up to the job – I think he should drop any further ambitions politically, I fear his failings outweigh his successes. Perhaps he should go back to being a TV personality, he’s good at that.

  32. 32
    JH says:

    Oh for fu*ks sake, stop whoring for traffic to your pitiful drivel.

  33. 33
    giant gonad says:

    Stopped drinking on the tube.
    Boris bikes.
    Lots of shagging

  34. 34
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    You were a Night mayor for 13 years.

  35. 35
    David Cameron says:


    At todays PMQ’s William Hague will be offered up as a sacrificial lamb.

    Thank you so much Guido and get your money on him to be the first Minister to quit!

  36. 36
    Archer Karcher says:

    Who negotiated the terms of the bail out together with bonus and repayment structures with Northern Crock? Step forward ZaNu morons.

  37. 37
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    already had the first minister to resign twat!

  38. 38

    squat city hall ! No surrender!

  39. 39
    My other car's a Merkava says:

    How cleverly Nixonian of you.

    If Boris can keep it down to one “love child” per term he’ll be a shoo-in.

  40. 40
    Kevin T says:

    He hasn’t been that great – he lost my respect somewhere between advocating an amnesty for illegals and comparing the limiting of to housing benefit to £20,000 “ethic cleansing” – but the choice between him and Comrade Ken is a no-brainer.

    I just wish one of them would have the decency to stand up and say, “Look, the mayor is obviously doing fuck all for the outer boroughs but taking their money, so if I am elected I will limit the mayor’s territory to Zones 1 – 3″. I might even vote for Livingstone if he did that.

  41. 41
    Archer Karcher says:

    CO2 is an irrelevant, harmless, red herring. Air quality however is not and the culprit in chief for this is TFL, who have for decades pursued a deliberate policy of traffic strangulation and congestion, to ‘justify’ the need for congestion and air quality taxes.

  42. 42
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:


    Tweedle dumb in the red corner.

    Tweedle dumb in the blue corner.



    The very definition of insanity is doing the same thing over & over again & expecting a different result.

    Voting for either Labour or Conservative candidates is a sign of mental illness.

  43. 43
    Not very likely............... says:

    “Dave” won’t sack Hague for the simple reason that Hague,Osborne and Gove are at the centre of the Tory leadership”.Hague is admittedly there on sufference but he represents the right wing of the party balancing the “Cameroon” ruling elite and “Dave” will lay himself open to even more dissent/attack after the expected debacle over his decison over the AV referendum when that delivers a yes vote and the end of Tory hopes to ever forming a majority goverenment in the future.

    I expect “Dave” rather to endorse Hague not in so many words but to all intents and purposes.The bigger danger to “Dave” is if Hague decides to walk himself if he considers No10 has been briefing against him to give cover to “Dave” for his disastrous foreign policy initiatives over Libya

  44. 44
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    What utter bollox.

    We own a loss making bank that pays bonuses to failures.

    What do you not understand about the idiocy of that situation?

  45. 45
    Pugh says:

    don’t voote for any of them. It only encourages them.

  46. 46
    Cake Thief can't believe Billy hasn't said it says:

    Hang em

  47. 47
    Archer Karcher says:

    It’s a choice between a social democrat and an unreformed communist. Neither are desirable, though one is repulsive.

  48. 48
    David Cameron says:

    Yes,We all know about David Laws,ducky.
    The next cabinet minister to resign then

  49. 49
    Where's Warsi says:

    Let me give you politically naive Tor*y Tro*lls a lesson in politics

    “””A secret six strong team of the London Tory players”””

    No names Guido, ie they either don’t exist, or if they do exist their anonymity help distance themselves from The Clown – which doesn’t say much about the campaign.

    18 months before Mayoral election – Boris and his team are clearly worried.

  50. 50
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am sentient.

  51. 51
    Archer Karcher says:

    Vote for a real change, do not vote for the big three or their pet poodle, the Greens. Whoever else you choose does not matter, the establishment need a kick up the arse, big time.

  52. 52
    Mornington Crescent says:

    O/T but if you thought scrapping the RDAs actually meant reducing the public sector pay bill, think again. Here’s a good one for an ‘enabler’ to faff about with these LEPs. Ain’t life grand – 70 grand.

  53. 53
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    This is absolutely appalling!

    Brown should have let the sodding place go to the wall when they couldn’t manage their finances.

    They do not seserve any bonuses when it was the taxpayer who saved them.

    F*cking parasites!

  54. 54

    Remember that Ken Livingston had a distinct disadvantage in the last election.

    Gordon Brown had just introduced the {delayed} 10p tax rate cut. Poorer voters were going mental. Labour MPs were in open rebellion. Especially London MPs.
    His iron stance of ‘no U-Turns’ quickly crumbled when his sock puppet chancellor informed him if he didn’t back down the budget would be defeated and the government would probably fall.
    The DWP had lost the data discs and the Mr bean line had been used by Vince Cable.

    Brown’s honeymoon was well and truly over.

    Boris won’t have that advantage to look forward to this time.

  55. 55
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    your optimism that UKIP could do better is not a sign of mental illness.

  56. 56
    A pint of Stella for my poofter friend says:

  57. 57
    PD77 says:

    Guess he didn’t read last years news yet? ;)

  58. 58
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Red Ken is a Communist.

    Boris is a Communist.

    Neither want to scrap the wasteful position of mayor and save those that bother to pay council tax in London, £500 a year in extra tax just to have a mayor. And this does NOT include the money they steal from same sucker taxpayers for the Olympics… and in return those paying the £20bn will get…. absolutely noting, while McDonalds, Visa and the rest of the corporate whores (whoreporations) make a killing. It is also obscene that children are given free bus passes no matter how close they live to schools. At school chucking out time, they terrorise passengers on buses. Bus and train passengers – pay your own way, no subsidies from motorists!

    The London mayor is one thing that should have been scrapped by Cameron, but as he’s a Ciommie as well, he won’t get rid of it.

    Say what you like about Margaret thatcher, but at least she knew the GLC was a waste of money, much as the GLA is today. Different name, shiny HQ, and just a big a waste of money.

  59. 59
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Could it be that there are many more cars on the road this year, which in turn has led to many more taffic jams?

    You can’t bame BoJo for that.

  60. 60
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    you say that as if you know what you are talking about.

    “pays bonuses to failures” … have you been through the individual staff members and worked out how effective they have been?

  61. 61

    Last night when you were making the pancakes, and Sarah called you a ‘complete tosser.’ wasn’t as complimentary as you thought.

  62. 62
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    She is more of a man than Brynat will ever be.

  63. 63
    Archer Karcher says:

    Hague right wing?

    Thank’s for the laugh, the only thing ‘right’ about Hague is that he dresses to the right.
    He is as phoney as Cameron and his hero Bliar.

  64. 64
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Didn’t Red Ken come from the GLC? Or is my memory fading?

  65. 65
    Nick says:

    No it couldn’t as the number of cars entering London has been falling in recent years.

  66. 66
    PD77 says:

    +1 :D

  67. 67
    There is life outside london. says:


    And why are National taxation and National Lottery mobies being stolen to fund the LONDON olympic games?

  68. 68
    Nick says:

    I totally agree. My emphasis on CO2 is there purely because that is the “measure” TFL seem to target.

  69. 69
    PD77 says:

    Yeah that’s mainly due to the fact that you have to be stupid to pay to use a road that the VED pays for, why is it that no one has said stick Red Kens extra Road Tax up his ar*e I’ll never know?

  70. 70
    Hamlet says:

    To be, or not to be, that is the question.

  71. 71
    Gordo Brow says:

    my key does ot work

  72. 72
    The people says:

    We wish !!

  73. 73
    Defacto says:

    London is a shit tip.

  74. 74
    Call me Dave - EU traitor says:

    Any optimism you might have that I can improve is a definite sign of mental illness.

  75. 75
    zx10 b2 1989 says:

    Sorry missing something so you are saying I want Kenny he was better than Boris? which would mean you are totally insane or that or that you in the smoke lot should get some one else in and if so who? go one tell us ?
    Oh and if yer a biker why the hell does congestion bother you ? sorry but if you don’t know how to filter then get off the road and let those who can get to work!.

  76. 76
    The people says:

    cu t

  77. 77
    Captain Ahab says:

    Boris stole my moby! BOO HOO!

  78. 78
    Moley says:

    Labour have formally complained about BBC bias.

    Ed Balls cannot stand the BBC using the word “Savings” which has positive connotations, instead of “Cuts” which is negative.

    Savings wouldn’t be necessary if Balls hadn’t neglected his job as Chancellor.

  79. 79
    AC1 says:

    Theyre shit. Good Riddance.

  80. 80
    BBC Pubic Relations says:

    We must be doing a good if both sides are complaining.

  81. 81
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    If you had a choice of which blogger to waterbord out of, Guido,Iain dale or Will straw who would you vote for?

  82. 82
    Red Ken for concrete foundations! says:

    Ok where’s the lesson then ? or is that it ?
    ‘i say this so it is true!’
    great well that’s me taught !oh but then again
    ‘I say other so your wrong ‘
    oh now what will become of me red Kenny sponsored education?

  83. 83
    AC1 says:

    They collectively made a loss for taxpayers = No bonus for any staff. Bonuses should be paid out of profits.

  84. 84
    Archer Karcher says:

    London is a foreign country, has been for the last twenty years.

  85. 85

    Utter piffle. Or do I mean Pfeffle?

  86. 86
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    All of the above.

  87. 87
    sod the lot of them says:

    All three.

  88. 88
    The Liebour party says:

    We gave you multiculturalism. Now get out there and celebrate its rich diversity.

  89. 89
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    How effective they have been?

    I know how effective they have been:


    FFS – what are you failing to grasp here?

  90. 90
    Saucy Sue says:

    Mojo is Spanish for “sauce”.

  91. 91
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    Sockpuppet by name…..

  92. 92
    EU, prisoner votes, bailouts, nannying, muzzies, corrupt non-resigning MPs & me? No thanks. says:

    Cigarettes ‘to be sold in plain packets’

    Government to unveil plans to strip cigarette packaging of logos and branding.

    Fucking hells bells. I thought with the end of Labour this nannying bullshit would die a death.

    I bet the EU has demanded this to harmonise efforts to curtail free will.

    Fuck off c u n t s and fuck off Call me Dave. FUCK OFF

    p.s. It will be interesting to see whether other EU police forces take up any slack if local plod go on strike. An EU takeover by the back door is what gives Call me Dave and his EU poodles wet dreams.

  93. 93
    A reasonable proposal says:

    50 ft high wall, made up of masonry from inside the wall. Nobody to go in or out, ever. No food or water allowed in.

  94. 94
    bird wsb says:

    Ok then. Shall we start by describing Labour’s profligate SPENDING rather than their huge INVESTMENT in the public sector?

  95. 95
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    Truly Orwellian

  96. 96
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Maybe Mps should be told to stand for election as a plain paket as they are all courpt and have no morals or belifs!

  97. 97
    Nick says:

    If you actually read my first post you’d notice that I think Ken was a disaster, and that I said that as a biker the congestion affects me very little (since, yes I do know how to filter).
    No I do not want Ken, I just don’t think Boris is much of an improvement and no I can’t suggest someone else. Londoners are just stuffed.

  98. 98
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    Well they better come over in more than snatch Land Rovers.

  99. 99
    Stranger in my own country says:


  100. 100
    khasi nova says:

    he’s shagged lots of other people’s missus’ – gets my vote

  101. 101
    Dilligaff says:

    De PfeffEL, fools. Really standards of spelling/education/kids of today/hell in a handcart ad naus. ……..

  102. 102
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    They’re ok as far as buzzes go.

    I bet you aren’t a fan of any bus.

  103. 103
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Christ – it the Greens ever get in we can expect huge tax hikes under the guise of saving the world. That’s all we need at the mo.

    Mr Bag will then have to have me committed.

  104. 104
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I didn’t think the police were allowed to strike. It used to be part of their Contract.

  105. 105
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    AC1: thats not how bonuses work. If a staff does good work, but the owner is a tosser, or tossing about with their book-keeping, its in the nature of many peoples’ conditions of employment to get the cash.

    Mrs Wings:
    Its perfectly possible for a profitable company to have a crap employee too you know. Very easy to understand that a company can have employees and departments that are fully effective, even if on the whole they aren’t profitable. FFS yourself.

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    They work to rule, which, considering the extra hours they work (double time + TOIL), is much like a strike.

  107. 107
    Blue Labour out says:

    If Theresa May can fuck about with their contract then plod are morally entitled to do the same with their ‘Contract’.

  108. 108
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I thought they had been on strke for the last 13 years!

  109. 109
    smoggie says:

    A sign of someone doing a good job that you hardly know he’s there or nor what he does. The absence of problems is the key.

  110. 110
    Labour-BBC alliance says:

    deliberate misdirection to head-off complaints about BBCs left-wing/Labour bias. It’s so the BBC and their apologists can say “look! labour are complaining too so we must be balanced!”
    A pile of shit of course. The reason that Liebour and BBC are pulling this, is because, one of the main accusations of bias that have been levelled at them is the use of the word “cuts” when the Tories are in power, but use of the word “savings” when it’s Labour. This is another example of Liebour spin machine and BBC in direct cahoots with each other.

  111. 111
    smoggie says:

    There was an article about him in Priv­ate Eye yonks ago in which he was reputed to have bought some special pills on one of his junkets which make semen taste of strawberry flavour, if you please! This was before he re-invented himself as a heterosexual, of course.

    Wimbledon fortnight was never the same after reading that.

  112. 112
    smoggie says:

    Perhaps they shouldn’t have any salary at all, with that nonsense logic.

    The only way they are going to return to private ownership, and payback the taxpayer with interest, is to become profitable and that can only be done with with motivated staff.

  113. 113
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    no valid point then?

  114. 114
    smoggie says:

    You mean dam the Thames. And am I supposed to go to fu­cking Gatwick to get a flight?

  115. 115
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    No no no. people who comment on blogs should be allowed to micro-manage salary decisions.

  116. 116
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    There is life oiutside London…..but not as we know it.

  117. 117
    Grumpy Old Man says:


  118. 118
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    If Ed is stupid enough to start an ad hom attack on Hague, he’ll leave himself wide open to retaliation through the Milliband families previous support of Gadaffi and Labour’s underhand dealings with the regime that supplied arms to the IRA. Not a good way to go.

  119. 119
    Billy Slagg says:

    I celebrate diversity every single day from my million pound little pad here in deepest Dorset.

  120. 120
    Glenis Wilmott says:

    It’s a no-brainer

  121. 121
    Rich Johnston says:

    Ken reduced public transport prices and kept them low, especially buses. Boris didn’t.

    Ken sped up public transport with Oysters. Boris didn’t.

    According to Stephen Norris, Ken won the Olympics for London. Boris just embarrassed us.

    There were less strikes under Ken than Boris.

    We had the Sultan’s Elephant under Ken. Nothing like it from Boris.

    Political allegiance be damned, I’ll be voting Ken. He’s the pragmatic choice.

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