November 1st, 2010

Did You See Guido’s Column in the Mail Today?

It was only a fortnight ago that Guido wrote to the Daily Mail’s editor, Paul Dacre, asking him for a columnist’s job at the Mail. Some of you will have noticed that he has decided that Guido’s distinctive style and subject choices are worthy of a column. However due to an unfortunate mix-up at the printers the paper has run Guido’s stories with Andrew Pierce’s byline. What other explanation can there be?

The lead story in the Mail column was a piece on Tristram Hunt, which admittedly appeared here on the blog a full 7 days ago, but it was such a good take on the story – pointing out that Tristram’s alma mater was a member of the Eton group of schools – it was worth repeating. Quote of the Day this morning was Guido’s Quote of the Day on Friday and even the story about DfID hosting a “gender and climate change seminar” was recycled from Thursday’s blog.

Guido’s invoice is on the way…


  1. 1
    Hack says:

    Nice one Guido.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Complete Hunt

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guess they are well behind then .

  4. 4
    Olly boy says:

    With that level of journalism, think even I could work at the Daily Mail.

  5. 5
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Oh and mind that ego Guido .

  6. 6
    Number 10's cat says:

    The name on the cheque is the one that matters

  7. 7
    Olly boy says:

    With that level of journalism I think even I’d be able to give it a go at the DM.

  8. 8

    Can you:

    (a) cut
    (b) paste

    If you answer affirmatively to both questions, yes you can apparently.

  9. 9
    concrete pump says:

    Are you not flattered, Fawkes…?

  10. 10

    You have the direction of travel wrong.

  11. 11
    GrimeLord says:

    My PC will only allow me to copy & paste, can I still have the job?

  12. 12
    QWERTY says:

    Pierce is useless. When he’s on Sky News with Toilets he’s always worked over by Toilets. Even when Pierce is head to head with Baroness Billingham he gets a kicking.

    He’s fucking shit, another gayer over promoted.

  13. 13
    A Bowen-Sincheck says:

    Unless it’s signed by J G McMong.

  14. 14
    Kopi Npaste says:

    The story is out there…can someone else not comment on it, even if it is roughly the same

  15. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    At least the picture had a slimar person in it and must have saved some ink :)

  16. 16
    FFion says:

    Well I like him- he’s a gent and doesn’t do SHOUTY SHOUTY like you Qwerty

    as far as the DM is concerned you could play their game and have an x-factor story, slag a BBC story and have a woman has cleavage shocker story which they have every day

  17. 17
    Pip says:

    I read that piece by Pierce and had that deja vu feeling.
    Maybe a bit of poetic licence in one of your future items could reap some fun ?

  18. 18
    bald old git says:

    you should run something that, if they run it, gets them into trouble …

  19. 19
    a question says:

    is Pierce a homosexual?

    he always looks like he has had a good wash

  20. 20
    Alex says:

    Ahh, the Daily Mail – The Sun for people who think they’re too posh to read the real thing.

  21. 21
    Jimmy says:

    To be fair the Daily Hitler was publishing racist and homophobic drivel for the mildly retarded long before you started. You both, in your own way, fill a much needed void.

  22. 22
    NeverRed says:

    Sue the bastards

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone else noticed, Hazel Blears is no longer a ginger rodent?

  24. 24
    orange pop says:

    Ahhh, Alex, the shortened name for posh wankers called Alexander

  25. 25
    NeverRed says:

    He’s a very close friend of that ginger rat Bryant

  26. 26
    Backwoodsman says:

    I don’t mind the plagiarism or the totty shots, its the faux outrage that they manage to generate which is so annoying about the ghastly rag.
    Still , it does get on the tits of the beeboids and guardianistas, so it can’t be all bad.

  27. 27

    Andrew Pierce – once a thieving Hunt, always a thieving Hunt.

    Wouldn’t you say, Guido? ;-)

  28. 28
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido you should really worry when the BBC runs your stories

  29. 29
    boulay says:

    watching mili ed trying to be funny and clever and failing at both – I have never seen such patronizing looks from cameron and Osborne.

    Miliband really is totally useless.

  30. 30
    Albi Here says:

    He thinks he’s at a school debating society,see the two uglys are centre stage .

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Billy, did you mean to type “similar” or “slimier”?

  32. 32
    Steve Miliband says:

    What an ugly shadow front bench

  33. 33
    Albi Here says:

    Fcuk climate change,tw%t

  34. 34
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Slimier ( Not Fat )

  35. 35
    Albi Here says:

    Where’s sh*tehawk Brown ?.

  36. 36
    Sir William Waad says:

    Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

  37. 37
    Nasty Browsing Habit says:

    No one reading The DM has the slightest interest in politics, do they?

    It’s all bikinis, breast implants and horoscopes.

    Fucking comic.

  38. 38
    Steve Miliband says:

    Shipyard is in in the graveyard slot after 22.00

  39. 39
    gildedtumbril says:

    The robbing bastards. Quite reminiscent of the douchebags in government, all they do is rob, nick and steal.
    The ‘prime monster’ is a particularly mendacious creep. He thinks we swallow the 2.9% con. where he probably saved Britain from the ever rapacious EbastardU.

  40. 40
    Sir William Waad says:

    My ram gets a good wash from time to time but, come tupping time, he’s up for it. Right now he’s busy making little April lambs.

  41. 41
    Dromey the sex-change operative says:

    Not Hattie’s favourite ginger rodent?

  42. 42
    Hazel liar blears says:

    me me me me me me

  43. 43
    Nasty Browsing Habit says:

    I’ll bet her front bottom still is.

  44. 44
    Jabba the Cat says:

    May I suggest everyone piles in on the Andrew Pierce comments at the Daily Wail and asks when is Guido going to be credited.

  45. 45
    Better Dead than Red Ed says:

    What’s dong with my doice ????

  46. 46
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or so they say. You could either consider yourself well flattered or ripped-off by some hack too lazy/incapable of coming up with something original. Twats!

  47. 47
    albacore says:

    Here’s something that might bring him back down to earth.

  48. 48
    E says:

    Even i could probably blag it, an that

  49. 49
    Albi Here says:

    Who’s the woman on the UConned us bench who’s texting,so even MP’s have no respect for parliament or the people who put her there.

  50. 50
    can't remember my moniker says the nicest things says:

    lol – steady on!

  51. 51
    Nasty Browsing Habit says:

    Yeah, as if they’ll let the comments through. Their moderators are more up their own arses than The Barclaygraph’s, if that’s possible.

  52. 52
    A Bowen-Sincheck says:

    Sorry, you have the wrong number.

  53. 53
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

    Hell will freeze over first !!

  54. 54
    smoggie says:

    Here’s a tip: don’t believe everything you read in Hislop’s Squint.

  55. 55
    Jesu wept says:

    The end of day trading at the Chicago Climate exchange is here:

    Look at the volumes (number of contracts traded) – zero, yes ZERO from 2003 until now. It’s always been zero! So much for global warming.

  56. 56
    smoggie says:

    I’m waiting for the day that the Mail prints something without Cheryl Cole in it. Geordie slapper.

  57. 57
    Chris Huhne says:

    The papers today are saying that alcohol is more damaging to the body than drugs like heroin or cocaine. I didn’t realise how many people I was hurting working as a bartender. I feel so guilty. I’m going to quit my job and start a new career as a drug dealer.

  58. 58
    Paul Dacre says:

    You’re not fit to wipe Andrew Pierce’s ass Fawkes. You ‘blogs’ always steal from respectable papers and then whine like bitches when you get a bit back. Stop snivelling.

  59. 59
    Charlie Kennedy says:

    Total bullssshhh rubbbi, bolloxsss

  60. 60
    Mrs Fawkes says:

    Did I see Guido’s column? Note for a long while – and column’s not the right word really.

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Ffion? Not Mrs Hague are you? That’s the only reason I can find for your support for fellow fellater, Pierce.

  62. 62
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dont you mean you have seen Guidos “column ” in the male ?

  63. 63
    Sir William Waad says:

    Not only that, but I can maunder on about house prices, get hot under the collar about immigrants and do a passable Fred Bassett cartoon.

  64. 64
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

    What has Sharon Hodgson MP done for the North East ?

  65. 65
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

    That is right Billy, get to the knob of the problem !

  66. 66
    Isaac Hunt says:

    You don’t quite get how this works – the first word should end in a “k” sound like my brother Warwick and my kinsmen Mike and Wattock.

  67. 67
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

    All about volume….. harms more people ‘cos there are millions more people drinking alcohol than doing drugs !!

  68. 68
    Ayesha Hazarika says:

    This is a hoot !!

  69. 69
    A well hung Parliament please!!! ex BBC cunt, Ben 'buggering' Bradshaw says:

    Is Pierce an omosexual?

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Palace of Westminster – Utilities and their cost

  71. 71
    K+O+N+G says:

    My name is KONG

  72. 72
    AC1 says:

    It’s a right wing version of Al Grauniad.

    Just better totty and a different form of Faux outrage.

  73. 73
    Mornington Crescent says:

    The word ‘slattern’ was tailor-made for her.

  74. 74
    Fatty Towers Hotel Reception says:

    Taxi for Sharon Hodgson

  75. 75
    Julian says:

    Yes ducky,he is an iron !

    See here

    Why I, as a gay man, agree with the Pope – Harriet Harman’s equality mania only promotes intolerance
    By Andrew Pierce
    Last updated at 8:11 AM on 3rd February 2010

    Read more:–Harriet-Harmans-equality-mania-promotes-intolerance.html#ixzz143AzRmqo

  76. 76
    concrete pump says:

    What…someone who fucks old washing powder boxes….?

  77. 77
    Posh bird from Ireland says:

    Derek Hunt?

  78. 78
    John Prescott says:

    your are Fattest!

  79. 79
    Orange Pop says:

    no John, you are fattest

  80. 80
    The Daily Mail says:

    Andrew Neill has been even handed, though he seems wary of Glenn Beck’s populism and suspicious of some Tea Party elements on the fringe. The Washington beltway consensus seems to be that Sarah Palin, the Tea Partier’s sweet-heart, won’t run in 2012, which from an entertainment perspective is a great disappointment. The Tea Partiers will however have an impact this week. Something those of us who think we’re “Taxed Enough Already” will welcome.

  81. 81
    Ginger Rodents against Labour Hypocrisy says:

    Everyone at “The Drey” watched Cameron’s statement and were amused at the number of Labour MPs that seemed to be asking Question No1 on the Whips briefing sheet The phrase couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery came to mind insofar as it surely is not beyond the whit of the said whips office to tell each backbench MP the number of the question they are supposed to ask and not just asking the first one on the sheet ….Doh…didn’t realise there was a list further questions on the back !!

    But then again from a party that completely f*ck*d up the economy it’s NOT surprising that they have difficulty counting past one.

  82. 82
    Albi Here says:

    The Quacks take the gelt from the NHS,who pays for it the people,are they turning into another crowd that want your money but don’t want any work for it,what next drinking in pubs and clubs but lets not ban it in places these people go yaa.

  83. 83
    Sir William Waad says:

    Guido, you should think of the Daily Wail as your tribute band.

  84. 84
    Pete M. SW1 says:

    Hmm. Crack can be addictive and rather dangerous if you don’t know what your messing with.

  85. 85
    Sir William Waad says:

    A termite goes into a pub and asks “Is the bartender here?”

  86. 86
    Hon. Twistwum Hunt's Trust Fund. says:

    I’m wumbled weaders!

  87. 87
    Polly Boy Tee says:

    What will the Mail’s final solution be for their journo’s plaigarism?

  88. 88
    Hellboy says:

    The Daily Mail already has so many wankers writing bollocks that having Guido Fawkes as a by-line would make not a jot of difference to it’s puerile output. But if you need the money Guido I can understand your constant bleating on the subject. YAWN.

  89. 89
    Peter Grimes says:

    Nah, grey!

  90. 90
    Peter Grimes says:

    She look as if she’s straight out of Viz!

  91. 91
    The Muzees don't like this video says:

  92. 92
    Filthy Browsing Habit says:

    A bikini shoot, probably.

  93. 93
    T. Nuc says:

    So who was James Hunt?

  94. 94
    D L George says:

    CTRL + C = Copy
    CTRL + V = Paste
    CTRL + X = Cut

    Your ‘X’ is broken, get a new keyboard and you too can work for the Mail.

  95. 95
    Bored Telegraph sub editor says:

    What really narks me off is the way the mailonline fills it’s comment with made-up contributions from, for example, “trudiii, tamworth, uk” or “sophii, sunbury”.
    Our comments are, on the other hand, so obviously from members of the public-at-large.
    It’s just not cricket. What say you, Guido?

  96. 96
    Mortgaging Britain’s future for party gain and profit says:

    Ah, but importing lots and lots and lots of muslims into Britain is good for votes and cheap labour, which is all us in the Liblabcon party care about.

  97. 97
    SaltPetre says:

    PLAGIARISM = desperate ‘journalism’

  98. 98
    Billybumboy Hague says:

  99. 99

    Why is Greece the only place still selling OMO?
    Does it have some Greek meaning?
    Why is the land of Pythagoras full of OMO lovers?

  100. 100

    New order- New order

  101. 101
    KY Jelly says:

    Is Andrew Pierce really a friend of that verminous Labour turd, Chris Bryant?

  102. 102
    Deep Who says:

    Said the guy obsessed with bumming and ancillary gay activity

  103. 103
    lmao says:

    Is Willie Hague a friend of Dorothy’s?

  104. 104
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Mike Hunt

  105. 105
    Muslim says:

    This bans on the freightings from Somalia and Yemens is most ray cyst! It is not fairs! We are a pissful people! We never hurts anyone! It is all covers up by evil western government! Lifting this bans now or we will issue fatwa on your decadent heads! If you don’t agrees that Islam is peace, we will destroys you! Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Cackbaaaaaaaaaaar!

  106. 106
    Uncle Quentin says:

    Who cares if he’s a bowel-ferret? It’s agreeing with the Pope on anything that marks him as deluded.

  107. 107
    Down with Brown! says:

    Pierce is hoping to replace Mrs Fawkes.

  108. 108
  109. 109
    James Blunt says:

    we UNT’s have to stick together, being a UNT is the new Ginger Tosser.

  110. 110
    PUNT from that very very funny B b C radio show the Now Show says:

    I’ve been a UNT for years

  111. 111
    Louis Scarroll says:

    But what is your name called ?

  112. 112

    When was the last time you got laid Jimmy?

  113. 113
    Clear nasal passage, no teeth left says:

    Ahh. Toods.

  114. 114
    lolol says:

    calm down William

    there’s plenty of other young spads you can find to bum

  115. 115
    snowballs says:

    Qwerty, Pierce used to appear on the precursor to This Week with Toilets, and I always got the impression they were quite matey. They both used to like bleating that New Labour had stolen the middle ground from the Tories and the blues would have a hell of a job getting back into government.

  116. 116
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Hislop is a twerp and the Eye is shit. For Gods sake the oaf even believes in the global warming scam. Real churnalism in action.

  117. 117
    No to Lisbon, Oh alright then says:

    Showing a lack of Will power since election though.

  118. 118
    Clear nasal passage, no teeth left says:

    JOURNALISM = self-deluded attempt to justify one’s existence

  119. 119
    Aging Punk says:

    I’m pretty Vac Unt.

  120. 120
    AC1 says:

    on that link the Top Story (top right) seems to be admiral Ackbar.

  121. 121
    Timmy the dog says:


  122. 122
    Gordon Nutter says:

    I saved the world you know.

  123. 123
    PUNT from that very very funny B b C radio show the Now Show says:

    You’ve been reading their scripts!

  124. 124
    snowballs says:

    That’s just it, we don’t know see how they’re spending our money. The EU is a criminal enterprise, the accounts haven’t been signed of by an accountant for what, 13 years?

  125. 125
    put a y in between a p, an a and an s and you get says:

    Never read it. Did I miss anything?

  126. 126
    Lil Olmey says:

    I once complained to the Tossergraph that they were doing this. Could it be that that’s what got me banned ?

  127. 127
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    2.9% is just the starting point, as the Germans have already pointed out. Not that you will see it in any UK paper or on tv.

  128. 128
    skippy says:

    Always believe the opposite of what popular hysteria demands, and you won’t go far wrong…….AIDS wiping us all out together with drug users, bum bandits, and 3rd world bum bandits who use sodomy as a form of contraception, the new ice age, the millenium bug, bird flu etc etc…

  129. 129
    Horace and Dorris Norris says:

    Immitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Guido, but just sue them for royalties.

  130. 130
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

    I hope you are not referring to the ‘fat slags’ ….. that is disgusting !! One can only assume she is also a SAFC supporter, sad so sad !!

  131. 131
    Esther says:

    I’m ginger from time to time (it stops me from looking 80), so next time around in Luton, my adoring public, VOTE FOR MEEEEEEEEE.

  132. 132
    Y-Front says:

    They hare the same underpants.

  133. 133
    Lou Crative ( Frauds'R'Us ) says:

    14, in year 15 now and no you will never know where the money is going.

  134. 134
    nell says:

    Haven’t yet worked out why the left wing press keep calling poshtris a tv historian.

    The only tv ‘history documentary’ work he’s ever done has been for the beeb about ‘The Protestant Revolution’and it was absolutely slated for being inaccurate.

    Three newspaper reviews of it rubbished it :-
    ‘Hunt made it look like a varsity race’

    ‘short mordant sentence that pretend to say everything but in effect say nothing’

    ‘Hunt told us that Martin Luther, while in fear of his life, “went as far as growing a false beard”. I’m sorry, how do you grow a false beard? See, what’s amazing isn’t that Luther managed to sprout nylon, but that Hunt’s self-contented, bland mood music of a script didn’t even notice that he was talking bollocks’

    Oh Dear not a historian then?! Obviously not much of a tv presenter and given that he said this week that the coalition were re-introducing viictorian workhouses by refusing to pay £20k plus a year out on housing benefits, not much of a thinking mp either , especially since edmilitwit had already written the same promise into labour’s ‘strategy’ before they lost the last election.

  135. 135
    nell says:

    Dorothy of the yellow brick road?

  136. 136
    Simon Hughes says:

    If you’ve got the time, I’ve got the place.

  137. 137
    nell says:

    Is there a problem in talking about poshtris and the beeb Guido?

  138. 138
    Jacqui Smith's husband says:

    I don’t want to even think about it, let alone get out a video of it.

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    Surely there must be minimum education standards for our elected representatives, and the ability to speak correctly.
    How come we have two Yemeni born MPs in the House?
    Why not only natural born British.

  140. 140
    Yoo hoo! For Gods sake the oaf even believes in the global warming scam. says:

    If you want to understand climate change, go and see Al Gore’s film, An Inconvenient Truth. – David Cameron

  141. 141
    The Daily Mails Incisive Journalism says:

    Guido was it you who threw the mail the story’bout Cheryl Coles furry slippers !

  142. 142
    bluebell says:

    Guido, did try to comment on DM website re: Andrew Pierce’s column but 5 hours on, my comment has not appeared – nothing rude or libellous – just an observation – will check again tomorrow and give you feedback.

  143. 143
    White Van Man says:

    There’s nothing socialist about the Daily Mail at all so let have less of the Hitler jibes Jimmy ok!

  144. 144
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Old Greek saying:
    A woman for children.
    A boy for pleasure.
    a goat for ecstacy.

  145. 145
    Quagmire says:

    Think you’re in there Jimmy…. Giggity.

  146. 146
    gildedtumbril says:

    Surely we desperately need A Well Hanged Parliament? And the sooner the better.

  147. 147
    Ratsniffer says:

    Guido, seriously, send them an invoice. I think a pound a word is about the going rate? If they are going to rip you off the least they can do is cough up.

  148. 148
    Jimmy says:

    I wish I’d said that Oscar.

    I merely pointed out that there was room enough under that rock for you both.

  149. 149
    Non non says:

    or, if female and/or French, Alexandre.

  150. 150
    aging personage says:

    In my day it was Zubes wot woz good for the tyubs.

  151. 151
    zip says:

    or “twattery”?

  152. 152
    Can't remember my moniker says:

    Pray, what is wrong with lemniscating out loud?

  153. 153
    Pimpweazle says:

    This -sounds- like some kind of libellous Euroseptic fairytale

    The thing is, it -is- true but the fact that it’s been accepted by everyone at top table for so long means it somehow -doesn’t matter-

  154. 154
    Anna Tolia says:

    A marmite goes into a bar in Paris (clue for Sun readers) and says, “Can I get pot here?

    Well, what do you expect at a moment’s notice?

  155. 155
    bluebell says:

    6pm 2/11/10 comment still not there – although site says comments are unmoderated.

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