November 1st, 2010

Did You See Guido’s Column in the Mail Today?

It was only a fortnight ago that Guido wrote to the Daily Mail’s editor, Paul Dacre, asking him for a columnist’s job at the Mail. Some of you will have noticed that he has decided that Guido’s distinctive style and subject choices are worthy of a column. However due to an unfortunate mix-up at the printers the paper has run Guido’s stories with Andrew Pierce’s byline. What other explanation can there be?

The lead story in the Mail column was a piece on Tristram Hunt, which admittedly appeared here on the blog a full 7 days ago, but it was such a good take on the story – pointing out that Tristram’s alma mater was a member of the Eton group of schools – it was worth repeating. Quote of the Day this morning was Guido’s Quote of the Day on Friday and even the story about DfID hosting a “gender and climate change seminar” was recycled from Thursday’s blog.

Guido’s invoice is on the way…


  1. 1
    Hack says:

    Nice one Guido.

    • 10

      You have the direction of travel wrong.

      • 18
        bald old git says:

        you should run something that, if they run it, gets them into trouble …

      • 54
        smoggie says:

        Here’s a tip: don’t believe everything you read in Hislop’s Squint.

      • 116
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Hislop is a twerp and the Eye is shit. For Gods sake the oaf even believes in the global warming scam. Real churnalism in action.

      • 125
        put a y in between a p, an a and an s and you get says:

        Never read it. Did I miss anything?

      • 128
        skippy says:

        Always believe the opposite of what popular hysteria demands, and you won’t go far wrong…….AIDS wiping us all out together with drug users, bum bandits, and 3rd world bum bandits who use sodomy as a form of contraception, the new ice age, the millenium bug, bird flu etc etc…

      • 140
        Yoo hoo! For Gods sake the oaf even believes in the global warming scam. says:

        If you want to understand climate change, go and see Al Gore’s film, An Inconvenient Truth. – David Cameron

    • 22
      NeverRed says:

      Sue the bastards

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Complete Hunt

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guess they are well behind then .

  4. 4
    Olly boy says:

    With that level of journalism, think even I could work at the Daily Mail.

    • 8

      Can you:

      (a) cut
      (b) paste

      If you answer affirmatively to both questions, yes you can apparently.

      • 11
        GrimeLord says:

        My PC will only allow me to copy & paste, can I still have the job?

        • 94
          D L George says:

          CTRL + C = Copy
          CTRL + V = Paste
          CTRL + X = Cut

          Your ‘X’ is broken, get a new keyboard and you too can work for the Mail.

      • 25
        Backwoodsman says:

        I don’t mind the plagiarism or the totty shots, its the faux outrage that they manage to generate which is so annoying about the ghastly rag.
        Still , it does get on the tits of the beeboids and guardianistas, so it can’t be all bad.

        • 72
          AC1 says:

          It’s a right wing version of Al Grauniad.

          Just better totty and a different form of Faux outrage.

      • 63
        Sir William Waad says:

        Not only that, but I can maunder on about house prices, get hot under the collar about immigrants and do a passable Fred Bassett cartoon.

      • 141
        The Daily Mails Incisive Journalism says:

        Guido was it you who threw the mail the story’bout Cheryl Coles furry slippers !

  5. 6
    Number 10's cat says:

    The name on the cheque is the one that matters

  6. 7
    Olly boy says:

    With that level of journalism I think even I’d be able to give it a go at the DM.

  7. 9
    concrete pump says:

    Are you not flattered, Fawkes…?

  8. 12
    QWERTY says:

    Pierce is useless. When he’s on Sky News with Toilets he’s always worked over by Toilets. Even when Pierce is head to head with Baroness Billingham he gets a kicking.

    He’s fucking shit, another gayer over promoted.

    • 16
      FFion says:

      Well I like him- he’s a gent and doesn’t do SHOUTY SHOUTY like you Qwerty

      as far as the DM is concerned you could play their game and have an x-factor story, slag a BBC story and have a woman has cleavage shocker story which they have every day

      • 61
        Anonymous says:

        Ffion? Not Mrs Hague are you? That’s the only reason I can find for your support for fellow fellater, Pierce.

    • 25
      NeverRed says:

      He’s a very close friend of that ginger rat Bryant

    • 115
      snowballs says:

      Qwerty, Pierce used to appear on the precursor to This Week with Toilets, and I always got the impression they were quite matey. They both used to like bleating that New Labour had stolen the middle ground from the Tories and the blues would have a hell of a job getting back into government.

  9. 14
    Kopi Npaste says:

    The story is out there…can someone else not comment on it, even if it is roughly the same

  10. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    At least the picture had a slimar person in it and must have saved some ink :)

  11. 17
    Pip says:

    I read that piece by Pierce and had that deja vu feeling.
    Maybe a bit of poetic licence in one of your future items could reap some fun ?

  12. 19
    a question says:

    is Pierce a homosexual?

    he always looks like he has had a good wash

    • 40
      Sir William Waad says:

      My ram gets a good wash from time to time but, come tupping time, he’s up for it. Right now he’s busy making little April lambs.

  13. 20
    Alex says:

    Ahh, the Daily Mail – The Sun for people who think they’re too posh to read the real thing.

  14. 21
    Jimmy says:

    To be fair the Daily Hitler was publishing racist and homophobic drivel for the mildly retarded long before you started. You both, in your own way, fill a much needed void.

  15. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone else noticed, Hazel Blears is no longer a ginger rodent?

  16. 27

    Andrew Pierce – once a thieving Hunt, always a thieving Hunt.

    Wouldn’t you say, Guido? ;-)

  17. 28
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido you should really worry when the BBC runs your stories

  18. 29
    boulay says:

    watching mili ed trying to be funny and clever and failing at both – I have never seen such patronizing looks from cameron and Osborne.

    Miliband really is totally useless.

  19. 35
    Albi Here says:

    Where’s sh*tehawk Brown ?.

  20. 36
    Sir William Waad says:

    Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

  21. 37
    Nasty Browsing Habit says:

    No one reading The DM has the slightest interest in politics, do they?

    It’s all bikinis, breast implants and horoscopes.

    Fucking comic.

  22. 39
    gildedtumbril says:

    The robbing bastards. Quite reminiscent of the douchebags in government, all they do is rob, nick and steal.
    The ‘prime monster’ is a particularly mendacious creep. He thinks we swallow the 2.9% con. where he probably saved Britain from the ever rapacious EbastardU.

    • 127
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      2.9% is just the starting point, as the Germans have already pointed out. Not that you will see it in any UK paper or on tv.

  23. 44
    Jabba the Cat says:

    May I suggest everyone piles in on the Andrew Pierce comments at the Daily Wail and asks when is Guido going to be credited.

  24. 46
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or so they say. You could either consider yourself well flattered or ripped-off by some hack too lazy/incapable of coming up with something original. Twats!

  25. 49
    Albi Here says:

    Who’s the woman on the UConned us bench who’s texting,so even MP’s have no respect for parliament or the people who put her there.

  26. 57
    Chris Huhne says:

    The papers today are saying that alcohol is more damaging to the body than drugs like heroin or cocaine. I didn’t realise how many people I was hurting working as a bartender. I feel so guilty. I’m going to quit my job and start a new career as a drug dealer.

    • 59
      Charlie Kennedy says:

      Total bullssshhh rubbbi, bolloxsss

    • 67
      BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

      All about volume….. harms more people ‘cos there are millions more people drinking alcohol than doing drugs !!

      • 82
        Albi Here says:

        The Quacks take the gelt from the NHS,who pays for it the people,are they turning into another crowd that want your money but don’t want any work for it,what next drinking in pubs and clubs but lets not ban it in places these people go yaa.

    • 84
      Pete M. SW1 says:

      Hmm. Crack can be addictive and rather dangerous if you don’t know what your messing with.

    • 85
      Sir William Waad says:

      A termite goes into a pub and asks “Is the bartender here?”

      • 154
        Anna Tolia says:

        A marmite goes into a bar in Paris (clue for Sun readers) and says, “Can I get pot here?

        Well, what do you expect at a moment’s notice?

  27. 58
    Paul Dacre says:

    You’re not fit to wipe Andrew Pierce’s ass Fawkes. You ‘blogs’ always steal from respectable papers and then whine like bitches when you get a bit back. Stop snivelling.

  28. 60
    Mrs Fawkes says:

    Did I see Guido’s column? Note for a long while – and column’s not the right word really.

    • 62
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Dont you mean you have seen Guidos “column ” in the male ?

      • 65
        BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

        That is right Billy, get to the knob of the problem !

  29. 64
    BillyBob - Ooman Rights Legislation, just a load of bollocks!! says:

    What has Sharon Hodgson MP done for the North East ?

  30. 68
    Ayesha Hazarika says:

    This is a hoot !!

  31. 69
    A well hung Parliament please!!! ex BBC cunt, Ben 'buggering' Bradshaw says:

    Is Pierce an omosexual?

  32. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Palace of Westminster – Utilities and their cost

  33. 71
    K+O+N+G says:

    My name is KONG

  34. 80
    The Daily Mail says:

    Andrew Neill has been even handed, though he seems wary of Glenn Beck’s populism and suspicious of some Tea Party elements on the fringe. The Washington beltway consensus seems to be that Sarah Palin, the Tea Partier’s sweet-heart, won’t run in 2012, which from an entertainment perspective is a great disappointment. The Tea Partiers will however have an impact this week. Something those of us who think we’re “Taxed Enough Already” will welcome.

  35. 81
    Ginger Rodents against Labour Hypocrisy says:

    Everyone at “The Drey” watched Cameron’s statement and were amused at the number of Labour MPs that seemed to be asking Question No1 on the Whips briefing sheet The phrase couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery came to mind insofar as it surely is not beyond the whit of the said whips office to tell each backbench MP the number of the question they are supposed to ask and not just asking the first one on the sheet ….Doh…didn’t realise there was a list further questions on the back !!

    But then again from a party that completely f*ck*d up the economy it’s NOT surprising that they have difficulty counting past one.

  36. 83
    Sir William Waad says:

    Guido, you should think of the Daily Wail as your tribute band.

  37. 87
    Polly Boy Tee says:

    What will the Mail’s final solution be for their journo’s plaigarism?

  38. 88
    Hellboy says:

    The Daily Mail already has so many wankers writing bollocks that having Guido Fawkes as a by-line would make not a jot of difference to it’s puerile output. But if you need the money Guido I can understand your constant bleating on the subject. YAWN.

  39. 91
    The Muzees don't like this video says:

    • 96
      Mortgaging Britain’s future for party gain and profit says:

      Ah, but importing lots and lots and lots of muslims into Britain is good for votes and cheap labour, which is all us in the Liblabcon party care about.

  40. 95
    Bored Telegraph sub editor says:

    What really narks me off is the way the mailonline fills it’s comment with made-up contributions from, for example, “trudiii, tamworth, uk” or “sophii, sunbury”.
    Our comments are, on the other hand, so obviously from members of the public-at-large.
    It’s just not cricket. What say you, Guido?

    • 126
      Lil Olmey says:

      I once complained to the Tossergraph that they were doing this. Could it be that that’s what got me banned ?

  41. 97
    SaltPetre says:

    PLAGIARISM = desperate ‘journalism’

    • 118
      Clear nasal passage, no teeth left says:

      JOURNALISM = self-deluded attempt to justify one’s existence

  42. 98
    Billybumboy Hague says:

  43. 101
    KY Jelly says:

    Is Andrew Pierce really a friend of that verminous Labour turd, Chris Bryant?

  44. 105
    Muslim says:

    This bans on the freightings from Somalia and Yemens is most ray cyst! It is not fairs! We are a pissful people! We never hurts anyone! It is all covers up by evil western government! Lifting this bans now or we will issue fatwa on your decadent heads! If you don’t agrees that Islam is peace, we will destroys you! Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Cackbaaaaaaaaaaar!

  45. 107
    Down with Brown! says:

    Pierce is hoping to replace Mrs Fawkes.

  46. 108
    • 124
      snowballs says:

      That’s just it, we don’t know see how they’re spending our money. The EU is a criminal enterprise, the accounts haven’t been signed of by an accountant for what, 13 years?

      • 133
        Lou Crative ( Frauds'R'Us ) says:

        14, in year 15 now and no you will never know where the money is going.

        • 153
          Pimpweazle says:

          This -sounds- like some kind of libellous Euroseptic fairytale

          The thing is, it -is- true but the fact that it’s been accepted by everyone at top table for so long means it somehow -doesn’t matter-

  47. 129
    Horace and Dorris Norris says:

    Immitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Guido, but just sue them for royalties.

  48. 134
    nell says:

    Haven’t yet worked out why the left wing press keep calling poshtris a tv historian.

    The only tv ‘history documentary’ work he’s ever done has been for the beeb about ‘The Protestant Revolution’and it was absolutely slated for being inaccurate.

    Three newspaper reviews of it rubbished it :-
    ‘Hunt made it look like a varsity race’

    ‘short mordant sentence that pretend to say everything but in effect say nothing’

    ‘Hunt told us that Martin Luther, while in fear of his life, “went as far as growing a false beard”. I’m sorry, how do you grow a false beard? See, what’s amazing isn’t that Luther managed to sprout nylon, but that Hunt’s self-contented, bland mood music of a script didn’t even notice that he was talking bollocks’

    Oh Dear not a historian then?! Obviously not much of a tv presenter and given that he said this week that the coalition were re-introducing viictorian workhouses by refusing to pay £20k plus a year out on housing benefits, not much of a thinking mp either , especially since edmilitwit had already written the same promise into labour’s ‘strategy’ before they lost the last election.

  49. 142
    bluebell says:

    Guido, did try to comment on DM website re: Andrew Pierce’s column but 5 hours on, my comment has not appeared – nothing rude or libellous – just an observation – will check again tomorrow and give you feedback.

  50. 147
    Ratsniffer says:

    Guido, seriously, send them an invoice. I think a pound a word is about the going rate? If they are going to rip you off the least they can do is cough up.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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