July 27th, 2010

Gordon Lurking, Still Shirking Working

Rumours flitted on EyeSpy.MP that Gordon was on the parliamentary estate, Twittering politicos said he was seen at the end of the chamber during questions to Culture Media Sport Secretary Jeremy Hunt.

So he was, lurking briefly by the Speaker’s chair, greeting a few TaliBrown cronies before he went off to do violence to a keyboard banging out another 10,000 words of his “I Was Right” memoir.

Guido has yet to check the record, but suspects Brown did not bother to vote late last night on the Education Bill…


  1. 1
    Southern Softy says:

    Please Mr Squeeker, Mum says can I be excused PE as I’ve got a nasty sore and the other boys and girls will laugh at me.

  2. 2
    Joseph Stalin says:

    Shoot the mad dog!

  3. 3
    P. Doff says:

    Deduct an appropriate percentage of his pension rights (and salary) according to the number of day’s he doesn’t attend the place of business he was elected to do.

  4. 4

    Sniffing Bercow’s seat, dirty c*nt.

  5. 5
    The IMF is coming says:

    He misheard.
    He thought they said, ‘Quick get in the chamber, they want to question the Hunt’

  6. 6
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    How can I put myself out of his misery?

  7. 7

    Sorry Fawkes, O/T.

    Cameron is really starting to get on my tits. Apparently we’re not nice enough to the Turks and we’re all howwible wacists. France and Germany don’t want Turkey in the EU, Cameron, however, thinks we do.

    We don’t want a fucking EU Cameron, you twat, let alone one with fucking Turkey in it.

    What a fucking knob!


  8. 8
    The IMF is not coming says:

    sorry, old moniker

  9. 9
    Get Smart says:

    Lets forget about this waste of space he cant do any more harm.
    Unlike this fool…
    Turkey must be welcome into the EU, insists Cameron.


  10. 10

    Don’t you get discursive with me, sunshine! That’s Straw’s job!

  11. 11
    Bertice Stinkfinger says:

    does Brown ever stop typing to have a poo?

  12. 12

    Perhaps we do want an EU with Turkey in it, just not with us in there?

    Can you imagine the chaos unrestricted Turkish migration would do? It’d be like opening the gates to the bloody Goths, ffs.

    Germany would be especially fucked – all the gastarbeiters would have their entire extended families over at the drop of a fez!

  13. 13

    Bollocks. Forgot to change my name back. Oops – multiple IDs – but all in the cause of fun :P

  14. 14
    Liam says:

    Searching for “Brown” in Hansard’s record of the Academies Bill debate does not come up with Gordon……

  15. 15
    Ed Balls says:

    I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

  16. 16
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:


    Ed Balls quitting Labour leadership race after Guido Fawkes snub .

    Ed Balls is reportedly furious after the “Balls not Bananas” campaign is halted

  17. 17
    David Laws says:

    tee hee hee! you won’t find me

  18. 18
    Spank Sinatra says:

    You also appear to have lost any support you had in your party – such a shame.

  19. 19
    Sir William Waad says:

    I think that’s the point. Admission of Turkey to the EU would further weaken its centralising, ‘Holy Roman Empire Mark II’ aspect.

    At the same time, it would give Europe a permanent ally in the Middle East. The Turks have held out more or less on their won against the mediaevalising forces of Islam in the Middle East. As it is, Erdogan is leaning that way, but membership of the EU would give a boost to secular, modernising, democratic people in Turkey.

  20. 20
    lolol says:

    He’s only doing what he’s been told to do by his masters in the EUSSR,the heir to Bliar is only a puppet and if he upsets his Blue rinse crowd he will go.

  21. 21
    Nurse MacTavish says:

    No. I don’t want to talk about it, thank you, it isn’t at all nice.

  22. 22
    biffo says:

    What a thieving Hunt – hope his constituents up in Scotland start shouting about his non-performance as their MP. Mind you, it’s par for the course for him – starting off with his abuse of the benefits system when he was a student & continuing through & up to his abuse of the MP expenses system while PM. What an oxygen stealer!

  23. 23
    jonah watch says:

    The bastard should be tagged and put on a tracker so we know where he is at all times.

  24. 24
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Beware Turks bearing gifts.

    The sole driver behind Turkey’s unsustainable pretence of joining any club of advanced nations is to clear the way for Israel to follow (check Eurovision and the Europan Football for preparatory clues). Once that happens, and with either Millipede specimen in charge, guess where all the money will go.

    That powerful lobby (which controls the major parties on both sides of the Atlantic) plays long games and few are bright enough to spot them. But even fewer have the courage to challenge them for fear of invoking the oft-played holocaust-card again.

    You have been warned.

  25. 25
    biffo says:

    Unfortunately I don’t think ‘secular, modernising, democratic people’ are in the majority in Turkey. We’ll be overrun by hardline Muslims all claiming benefits & sending the money back home.

  26. 26
    Chris Huhne says:

    Plans to protect rape suspects’ identities have been scrapped by the government today.

    On a completely unrelated topic, does anyone know where the nearest deed-poll office is?

  27. 27
    biffo says:

    Or one of these ‘control orders’ that his spineless sidekick Strawman was so keen on dishing out.

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    If you’re a Turk why wait for modernisation when you’ll have the whole of Europe to choose from? Just ask any Brit woman who’s been on holiday there how keen the Turkish men are on cross fertilisation.

  29. 29
    JUST A THOUGHT ! says:

    Turkey would become a barren wasteland
    and everyone in Britain would have a fucking kebab shop next door
    Leave them where they are !

  30. 30
    Nursie says:

    Stop rubbing it then – you’ll go blind.

  31. 31
    Taxfodder says:

    There is WORK, and then there is PRODUCTIVE WORK.

  32. 32
    biffo says:

    If he is quitting it’ll be because he realises he hasn’t a snowman’s hope in hell of realising his goal. ‘Ed BullyBall. Leader of HM Opposition’ – even the thought of it really happening is enough to curdle milk.

  33. 33
    Down with Brown! says:

    Cyclops can’t face the trauma of putting his fat arse on the backbenchs. He still thinks he is going to get a special position for being saviour of the world.

  34. 34
    Spank Sinatra says:

    tracker or tractor?

  35. 35
    PAMPERED EX PM says:

    NO !
    and heres why !

  36. 36
    for fawkes sake says:

    Mr Fawkes is the one and only commenter on here, and he does it by using multiple personalities.

  37. 37
    Down with Brown! says:

    The Tories are going to lose lots of Greek votes….

  38. 38
    Martin Day's Mum says:

    Martin Day = Ball Bag

  39. 39
    Hugh Janus says:

    I’m still waiting to see which charity is going to benefit from McBust’s enormous, world-saving experience as leader and saviour of this (now enfeebled) nation. Mind you, any charity he endorses is automatically doomed, so they would be sensible to bat away any offers from this clown.

  40. 40
    Down with Brown! says:

    No mention of Guido or the co-conspirators in Mandy’s book. I wonder if we will get into Jonah’s memoirs.

  41. 41
    Sarah Tweet says:

    just had supper at home (cooked by me!) with @Jo_Cox1 and our respective husbands and a few friends – lovely evening

  42. 42
    Hugh Janus says:

    O/T – I see that Millitwat Major and Millitwat Minor are the only realistic contenders now, with Balls, A-Bott and the other little creep nowhere to be seen.

    Presumably this now makes the contest to lead NuLiebour a two arse race?

  43. 43
    Policy Maker says:

    My dear fellows, it’s all part of the Master Plan! Get Turkey in and the whole EU will collapse. Britain will prevail.

  44. 44
    east of Munich says:

    something like the next Secretary-General of the United Nations, that´s probably why he was in Africa harbouring votes. How nasty of me for having such thoughts.

  45. 45
    Hugh Janus says:

    How nice for you. I hope the old goat was less messy and noisy than usual. The thought of having to share a meal with McBust is frankly appalling.

  46. 46
    HappyUK says:

    Typical shirking shitbag socialist shyster.

  47. 47
    W B Yates-Winelodge says:

    And what little drip, its hour come round at last
    Minces towards Bethlehem to be born?

  48. 48

    Cooked by you!!!!!!!

    Well fuck me with a stapler and call me Brian!!

  49. 49
    Hugh Janus says:

    I know the UN can be a bit dodgy, but do we really hate them that much?

  50. 50
    Gordon Brown, sinking gently into mental illness says:

    I will never stop working for the people!

    I wake up every, morning determined to help the poor, the weak the vulnerable, and Nigerian lesbians!

    My calling, my passion, my life’s work is to spend hard working people’s taxes on the work shy, the feckless, the scrounging masses!

    I was right to debauch England’s finances to help the people of Scotchland, do you hear me?

    I was right to save Africa and then the world!

    I wake up every morning determined to spend other people’s money on malingering Labour voters!

    I was right to allow a credit bubble to develop in order that your local council could employ otherwise unemployable arseholes!

    Nothing is too good for these heroic people!

    I was right to order the smearing, the briefing, the attacks on anyone who thought I wasn’t the right person to lead the Scotch Raj in that England, You must listen to me!

    There is no cause which isn’t worth putting England into debt over!

    Listen to me! I was right I tell you!! You must listen to me!

  51. 51
    Anti Duffy says:

    Balls should do the decent thing, stand down, throw his support behind Abbott and give the Geek Bros a run for their money.

  52. 52
    Unsworth says:

    Not far off it. France is rattled about the notion, the Germans are already having trouble with Gastarbeiter Turks, Spain has problems with Morocco, etc etc.

    Just as long as we maintain strong borders. Now, what’s going on about that? Is May going to toughen up and strengthen the barriers? Already we’ve heard the mood music about Immigration, so maybe this could work. It would certainly weaken the FrancoGerman Axis, in any event.

  53. 53
    Al says:

    Lurking is a good word to use about Brown.

    He lurks,
    he has always lurked.

    Orrible creature.

  54. 54
    Lord Grytpype-thynne but thinking of leaving the House of Lords to stay non-dom says:

    What a rich, witty and amusing journal Sarah writes, complete bwith so many meaningful insights and all written in such a beautiful literary style (not)

  55. 55
    I use the red flag as toilet paper says:

    Where’s a bloodthirsty Gurkha when you need one?

    Someone should put the bastard out of our misery.

  56. 56
    Engineer says:

    Maybe, but many feel rather uneasy about anything involving “politician” and “cunning plan”. See Edmund Blackadder for details, but suggest bypassing Baldrick.

  57. 57
    Unsworth says:

    It’s the propect of observing Brown’s table manners which is so revolting. After all, he’s got no concept of personal hygiene.

    Still, interesting that Sarah is getting into the habit of doing a bit of domestic work after all these years of flunkeys. Must be quite a wrench.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron is a disaster.

  59. 59
    Al says:

    Boring rabidly anti EU headbangers and…
    Boring fanatical pro EU loons.

    Both are stupid and should get out more.

  60. 60
    Unsworth says:

    Brown is just a modern-day Banquo’s Ghost. A wraith.

  61. 61
    Down with Brown! says:

    With Gordon spending so much time writing, she’s free to make long day trips to see her ‘friend’ in Canterbury.

  62. 62
    Gordon Brown, sinking gently into mental illness says:

    It’s a too Joo cu’ntest

  63. 63
    Catosays says:

    Have you read it then? ..walks off shaking head ..

  64. 64
    Toilet Paper says:

    I can’t understand why you’re still walking about, what with all those threats made to your health in the past by the armchair warriors of this blog. The keyboard / Nokia are obviously mightier than the sword.

  65. 65
    That's News says:

    I think Cameron is playing a clever game. “The Germans want Turkish labour, but their country isn’t good enough to join the EU” could be the line.

    By showing up how inconsistent Germany and France are it fourther weakens their hold on the EU, plus it shows Turkey that even if the Germans and the French don’t want you, we the British, are your friends.

  66. 66
    Engineer says:

    1) Open packet.
    2) Place in microwave.
    3) Press button.
    4) Ping! Din-dins.

  67. 67
    That's News says:

    They could morph the EU into a Community of Interests, inviting certain other nations to join. Israel, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, South Africa, etc.

  68. 68
    Engineer says:

    Could lead to some interesting breakfast conversations in the Testicular household when Yvette publicly declares for a Millipede. (Assuming they don’t avoid each other anyway at that hour of the morning.)

  69. 69
    Koba says:

    The BBC are still not reporting Browns’ lack of work in the commons except for showing him on holiday in Africa wearing a suit. Brown should have his passport confiscated, he’s a bad ambassador for our country.

  70. 70
    Gonk says:

    I’ve just had an e-mail from a Nigerian Lesbian.
    She’s not very well and would like to borrow some money.
    What do you think.

  71. 71
    Unsworth says:

    True enough. I’m hoping that the ‘plan’ was worked up by someone with enough skill and perspicacity. Do we have any of those any more? After all, it’s a fine balance. In the meantime it’ll piss the French off thoroughly and give the others something to worry about. I think the Krauts must be really pissed off anyway, what with bailing out Greece and now contending with Turkey. Maybe it’s not all bad in the short term.

  72. 72
    That's News says:

    Is Brown working for his constituents, then? How many local events has he opened? How many fetes has he attended? How many surgeries has he held?

    I fear the answer might be none. Writing 10,000 a day is a full time job.

  73. 73
    That's News says:

    Confiscate it when he is abroad. That way he can’r come back.

  74. 74
    NBeale says:

    No he didn’t – I’ve checked Hansard.
    Pathetic skiver – he should resign his seat.

  75. 75
    Toilet Paper says:

    Brown should have his passport confiscated. When he’s in the depths of the jungle or in the middle of a desert or war zone!

  76. 76
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Not that good, even.

  77. 77
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    That’s OK old chap.

  78. 78
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    I’m watching you lad. Where is your Latin homework?

  79. 79
    Engineer says:

    There are some very fine minds in the Foreign Office civil service staff (always have been, but many have been ignored or sidelined over the last few years). Suppose it depends a bit how close the F.O. advice is to Con/Lib policy on the matter, and how far ahead they want to risk thinking.

  80. 80
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    You didn’t delete your website either. What were you smoking last night?

  81. 81
    Ed Balls says:

    a awas aja kalo cuma issue doang, gue bakar loo

  82. 82
    Dhimmi Dave. says:

    It’s not just Turkey.

    Include the western balkans too. Kosovo,Abania,Bosnia.

    What’s that? 100 Million new EU passport holders?

  83. 83
    Engineer says:

    How much support behind does Abbot need?

  84. 84

    Is the thread about to change?

    Do the threads change according to the twitter feed at the top of the page?

  85. 85
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Agree on this Sir William. It would be a great shame and sheer folly to undo all the work that Ataturk did. Turkey is still the bulwark of secularism against Islamic and Arab militancy in the region

  86. 86
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Additional support for her behind? Think you might need a jack for a challenger tank.

  87. 87
    Sir William Waad says:

    Well they’re all shoving off for a couple of months, in a bit. Only university lecturers get longer holidays. The country will go on governing itself while MPs are annoying the staff and pinching the bathroom fittings in hotels all around the world.

    Guido, what about a competition to name the first MP to demand a recall of Parliament because of some ‘crisis’ that will get his or her name into the media? I suggest, more or less at random, Michael Meacher.

  88. 88
    Archer Karcher says:

    Turkish holiday resorts represent the whole of Turkey or the Turkish populace? Try telling that to the Germans. FFS, just how dim are some posters here?

  89. 89
    Gordon does the WWW thingy says:

    Gordon has got a new website


  90. 90
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Does Yvette wake up with a stalker?

  91. 91
    paid for nothing says:

    So, Gordon Brown and Lady Hermon havent voted once this session.
    Any others?

  92. 92
    Archer Karcher says:

    Err, except that it isn’t.

  93. 93
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Brown doesn’t follow instructions, so the beard probably doesn’t either.

  94. 94
    Gonk says:

    Chris Bryant–The scandal of puppy farming

  95. 95
    BBC says:

    We do not do negative reporting on leftwing politicians.

  96. 96
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    You don’t want to go there.

  97. 97
    Gobsmacked says:

    Gordon’s brand new PPS is a cracker, no wonder he’s starting to turn up for work.


  98. 98
    Koba says:

    I see he’s got a new girlfriend

  99. 99
    Ratsniffer says:

    Anyone for a sweepstake on how long it takes before McDoom’s mighty tome ends up in the remaindered section/heavilly discounted bins of bookshops?

    I’ll give it 3 weeks after launch.

  100. 100
    Archer Karcher says:

    Yep our border control is well tough, innit?
    May has no control whatsoever in who can come here from the EU. Whoever comes from a member state, established citizen or newly documented recent arrival, we are compelled to allow to enter. End of.

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    He means German EMPLOYERS want Turkish (read cheapo) labour. Not quite the same thing as the Germans as a whole.

  102. 102
    Big Society says:

    Yes. Yet again the Arabist Foreign Office tell the Prime Minister what to do and he meekly follows their line. Will NO ONE put Britain first?

  103. 103
    Charles Hawtrey says:

    Cameron is not playing a ‘clever game’ he is just a typical metropolitian blairite multiculti muslim areslicker.

  104. 104
    Koba says:

    I would like to see his expence claims for this period

  105. 105
    Engineer says:

    Not without a hard-hat and a battery of pit-props, anyway.

  106. 106
    Sarah Tweet says:

    @RestlessMgmt salmon, new potatoes, courgettes, beans and I tried out a Delia non meat loaf from her vegetarian cookbook – worked well

  107. 107
    Engineer says:

    We’d noticed.

  108. 108
    Eunonymous says:

    I asked my MP what he thought of Gordon Brown getting paid by the public to do a job that he patently isn’t doing. He ignored the question because ‘they’re all in it together’

  109. 109
    Lard Prescotch of Hell says:

    Look at the jugs on her !

  110. 110
    Engineer says:

    She’s no need to worry. He won’t be doing a Mercer.

  111. 111
    Smig says:

    No. With a stalk-on. All 5 inches of it.

  112. 112
    Martin Day BBC political correspondent says:

    Ladies and Gentlemen

    May I present to you, the one and only Ed Balls

    Video: Ed Balls: ‘I always wanted to be part of Tony Blair’s team’ [pic] http://ff.im/oktLh

  113. 113
    Post-democracy says:

    When are people in Western Europe going to wake up and realise their countries have essentially been hi-jacked by political and business elites?

  114. 114
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    A Wraith Wrover?

  115. 115
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Err, having visited the country many times, and accepting the proviso that Sir William already made, I suggest you are not as correct in degree as my position set out above.

    Suggest you consider ontic vagueness (Stewart Shapiro has a good book). You will see that anyone who calls Jerry Garcia in his prime as bald or denies that Yul Brynner is bald has violated the norm.

  116. 116
    Lateral Demigod says:

    I’m surprised Gordon is not scurrying-off to become EU commissioner for office stationary or something.

  117. 117
    annonymous says:

    talkSPORT doing executions live on the radio

    “…. translating contracted Sponsorships and Promotions into successful on-air, digital and print executions ……”

    who would you have executed live on radio?

  118. 118
    FAKE ALERT ! says:


  119. 119
    Europe must die, so the EU Empire can flourish says:

    Don’t forget EUroMed, Sarkozy and others plan, for the gradual incorporation of the North African Mediterranean states into the EU, over the next twenty years. Deep joy indeed.

  120. 120
    Southern Softy says:

    A full list of “fact finding” tours abroad during the recess,
    and the reasons for them should be published asap on the net.
    My guess is Nadine Dorries.

  121. 121
    Charlatans saving Africa says:

    Your unlucky mate, I normally get them from folks who want to GIVE me money. Its really quite simple all you do is give them your bank details passwords etc and they do the rest. That reminds me I really must check my balance.

  122. 122

    Ken Livingstone.

  123. 123
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    I was using a rather old-fashioned term for morning glory with the confessed intention of ambiguity. My question is now, how do you know it is as much as five inches? Evidence?

  124. 124
    Charlatans saving Africa says:

    Can you imagine what we’d think of an Eskimo visiting our country wearing full furs, hood etc…Exactly what a cock he must look.

  125. 125
    Aint diversity grand says:

    Here’s a report in Die Welt that says unbelievably Turkish police may be used to police Turkish immigrant areas on German soil, in the state of North Rhine-Westphalia to be precise.

    Turkish Police to patrol German soil

    Comment in English

  126. 126
    Charlatans saving Africa says:

    Another fucking Child who’s just outta school FFS !!!!!

  127. 127
    Mysteries will never cease says:

    Hardly a child and WTF does she see in Gordon?

  128. 128
    Archer Karcher says:

    Problem is Al, Cameron is a pro EU loon and so is Clegg. As for Milibanana, we all know he has as much loyalty for this country, as his grandfather had for his.
    I make that three out of three, now just where is the democratic choice?

  129. 129
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    Talking of ‘rubbing it’ whats with this picture of mandelson?

    Having had some visual training, I am aware that these politriksions are very surcumspect when it comes to chooseing which images they display of themselves.

    Now I can appreciate that this image of him toying with his tie, is what might be seen as ‘active’ as opposed to a passive mandelson. But dig a little deeper into the Fruedian imagery of the tie being a phalic symbol and it becomes what to all intents is mandelson playing with a dick, possably his, and therfore masterbating, or some sort of homosexual cypher of nob-fondler!

    Whater ever the message he wants to get accross I find the picture thouroughly nausiating and allways hurry to read the posts so that I can get by it quickly.

  130. 130
    Sir William Waad says:

    Turks aren’t Arabs.

  131. 131
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I thought the sarkozy plan (*) was something like this:

    Invent some sort of mediterranean grouping so that they don’t want to join the EU.

    PS: Algeria used to be in the EU (well… whatever it was called back then).

    (*) Sarkozy doesnt really make plans, he just blurts out half baked ideas.

  132. 132
    Archer Karcher says:


  133. 133
    Unsworth says:

    Absolutely terrifying diet. Needs much more red meat.

  134. 134
    Archer Karcher says:

    Microwave dinners can be so time consuming.

  135. 135
    Unsworth says:

    Glad someone understood.

  136. 136
    Sir William Waad says:

    An execution wouldn’t really work on the wireless. You’d have to put it on the telly.

    “Call 08999 0123451 if you want Tony Blair to be garrotted
    08999 0123452 if you want him to be shot……”

  137. 137
    There's No Post-Colonial Guilt in Turkey says:

    Istanbul may appear to be wonderfully secular and cosmopolitan, at least to the causal visitor.

    But the further east you go into Anatolia, the decidedly less cosmopolitan and secular Turkey becomes.

    Anyway, why the hell are we falling over ourselves trying to accommodate a Middle Eastern country that has spent the last 400 years trying to smash its way into Europe?

    We Europeans owe Turkey nothing.

  138. 138
    Labour Lice says:

    Her husband is Passenger Director at Passenger Focus, the independent rail consumer watch dog. Who funds Passenger Focus and what the fuck is a “Passenger Director” ?

  139. 139
    The IMF is not coming says:

    In cinema parlance: ‘straight to DVD’

  140. 140

    Half baked ideas aren’t the only things he ‘blurts out’.

    Especially with that wife of his.


  141. 141
    Archer Karcher says:

    The creepiest thing is, he ALWAYS zero’s in on children, wherever he is. Disgusting snot fuelled wretch.

  142. 142
    The IMF is not coming says:

    Can I just state that Gordon Brown was the worst Prime Minister ever, anywhere and I hated him then and I still hate him.

    I thank you

  143. 143
    Tachybaptus says:

    Sharon Hendry, ‘TV’s Sexiest Scenes’, The Sun, 2004:

    ‘Think dark, think brooding, think masterful and in control. Watching Gordon Brown delivering his annual budget is one of the highlights of my TV year. All those clever sums — whatever he produced from his box, there is always the tantalising possibility that this man might have a clever formula between the sheets.’

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Tories aren’t trusted.

  145. 145
    Anonymous says:

    ….because deciding who has sovereignty over this country is such a trifling affair.

  146. 146
    Where's Gordon says:

    Aren’t these occasional fleeting appearances just his desperately pathetic way of trying to dispell the rumours about where he’s been since the election? He’s so fucking stupid, he doesn’t realize people will see right through it.

  147. 147
    Archer Karcher says:

    And there was me imagining she got her first job at Network Rail on merit. Being a philosophy graduate and all that, made her an ideal candidate for the rail industry, no?

  148. 148
    Labour Lice says:

    She’s married and her husband works for a quango called Passenger Focus. It is a Labour creation and waster of money. Put it on the bonfire.


  149. 149
    cant hunter says:

    So Cameron is ‘angry’ that Turkish EU entrance is taking so long, and that he ls going to ‘fight’ to get this state into Europe. What happens to apparently sensible people when they assume high office, and why do they suddenly talk like impatient adolescents ? Can we have a 60 year old man as the next prime minister please ? All these ill educated 40 somethings just come over all ‘being a force for good in th e world’.

  150. 150
    Gobble gabble says:

    Brown lurks while Dave becomes a Turkey baster.

  151. 151
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Hang the wanker !

  152. 152
    cant hunter says:

    Wait until Brown’s book comes out, then the BBC wont be able to stop plugging it and lauding him. There have complaints about the excessive, and over respectful, attention that Mincing Mandy’s effort received, and that after similar complaints about Campbell’s latest instalment. Plainly the BBC couldn’t give a fig about complaints and the suggestion of political bias, so Brown’s attempted reappraisal will be partly tax payer funded.

  153. 153
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    Can we have a number for BOTH please? (Just to make sure.)

  154. 154
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Harman , Balls , Fuck it the whole labour party

  155. 155
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    O/T Morning windowlickers :)

  156. 156
    cant hunter says:

    Sorry that should have been rehabilitation not reappraisal.

  157. 157
    Anonymous says:

    He’s strangling the chicken.

  158. 158

    Just out of bed gfm?

  159. 159
    The Ape Man Commeth says:

    That’s odd, the moment I posted this his picture dissapered!!

    It was right there on the left I tell ya, right there . . .

  160. 160
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Yeah , Heavy night last night

  161. 161
    The train now arriving at platform 0ne says:

    Last time I looked a passenger director was someone who roamed around train stations giving passengers directions.

  162. 162
    cant hunter says:

    After lasr night’s appalling Newsnight, with the never easily discouraged Kirsty Wark displaying her political sympathies ( and why have this debate in Sheffield anyway. So the Forge masters case can be rammed down our throats) and her inability to shut up for more than 10 seconds; I would like to ask if anyone is getting fed up with hearing schoolteachers whinge ? FFS they’ve had it so good for over a decade, in spite of producing an inadequate service, and now they think they somehow merit exceptions from the restraint that the rest of us are having to endure . And to use ‘the kids’ in public protests is awful.

  163. 163

    Canem esset, magister!

  164. 164
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    ken is a first class tramp (along with dolly ),He has been rejected by Londons voters and is asking them to vote again ?

  165. 165
  166. 166
    Sir William Waad says:

    He’s just wandering. He arrives in Parliament and can’t understand why somebody else is sitting in his seat. The paramilitaries guarding Downing Street have to turn him away gently as he tries to get through the gates. The poor old fellow only has his memories and even they are deserting him now.

  167. 167
    All Lib Dems are tosspots says:

    You didn’t BUY this arse-wiping book did you? I mean ……..what a waste of money.

  168. 168
    Up sh1t creek says:

    So we are all racists for not wanting Turkey in the EU. Well f**k you David Cameron!

  169. 169
    the BBC says:

    All those potential labour voters! Plus if we can finally ethnically cleanse the English from England we can be rid of their freedom of speech, jury trials, personal liberty and any more Tory governments.

    PM Cameron, remember how much nicer we were to you than your predecessors. We knew you were a liberal too. We’re hear ready and waiting to smear all those opposed to 500,000 Turks pa moving to England as racists.

  170. 170

    lol moniker – ontic vagueness?

    My turn to ask you what you’re smoking, methinks!

  171. 171
    Martin Day's goldfish says:

    Gordon’s 60 next year.

    Ms Abbot will be about 60 for the next general election

  172. 172
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Who cares about Germany, what about what so called freedom loving Dave has done to the UK? I won’t vote Tory again.


    Ministers are ready to hand sweeping Big Brother powers to EU states so they can spy on British citizens.

    Foreign police will be able to travel to the UK and take part in the arrest of Britons.

    They will be able to place them under surveillance, bug telephone conversations, monitor bank accounts and demand fingerprints, DNA or blood samples.

    Anyone who refuses to comply with a formal request for co-operation by a foreign-based force is likely to be arrested by UK officers.

  173. 173
    pigs in space says:

    Wirral Grammar School – funny how no successful leftie has gone to or sends their kids to a comprehensive, they are just for the little people I guess.

  174. 174
    Wot's he up too? says:

    In Gordon’s Biography under the “Heading to Edinburgh” subtitle, what’s Gordon doing in the photo?


  175. 175
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    A question the BBC should ask but wont , ” Mr Brown you said you would fight for fairness and your belifs , So why havent you voted in the house of commons or spoke in any debate?”

  176. 176

    Is she the sunshine of Ed’s love?

    And does she give him her dawn surprise?

  177. 177
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Just hope she cleaned out the turkey-baster first.

  178. 178
    Up sh1t creek says:

    All hail our new leader, Van Rompuy. The UK’s 2010 election was a nice sideshow.

  179. 179
    Up sh1t creek says:

    An IQ of 60 is nothing to be proud of.

  180. 180

    The fat bitch can obviously cook pies, cakes and scottish fried delicacies – look at the thighs on her!

  181. 181
    who knows which way the union flag should be flown ? says:

    in turkey the union flag is flying upside down which is a distress signal, cameron should be aware of this

  182. 182
    Where's Gordon says:

    Gordon saw Inception and he now believes the election defeat was all a dream and he’s still prime minister.

  183. 183
    Every Little helps says:

    Warning. Gordon’s Biography contains a link to Fiona Phillips at home with the Browns. It looks like Gordon is doing another re-launch. After months of brooding hes now appearing all over the place, from Africa to Tesco to Parliament to new website.


  184. 184
    All Lib Dems are tosspots says:

    I agree, Balls should do the decent thing – how about chucking himself off the nearest tall building. He really is a horrible bastard.

  185. 185
    Gordon Brown says:

    But i saved the world !

  186. 186
    Labour Lice says:

    Her elderly husband takes his fat salary from Passenger Focus,one of “Britain’s worst quangos”.


  187. 187
    Dhimmi Dave. says:

    Yes,according to the poll on the dreadful Daily Mail, only eighteen per cent of those that have taken part arn’t racist!


    halal akbar!

  188. 188
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    (hrrrk) (hrrrk) BAAAAARRRRFFF!!! (p-too) UH-HUUUURRRRKK… (groan) (squeetle)

  189. 189
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Voting is only for people who believe in democracy.

  190. 190

    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity.

    Sort of sums it up, really…

  191. 191
    Big Society says:

    Pull the other one.

  192. 192
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Straight to betamax.

  193. 193
    Margaret Beckett says:

    I would like to talk about vaginal warts

  194. 194

    Jesus Eng, that’s a hell of an underpinning job you’ve got there.

    Nearly fit for inclusion in Derek and Clive’s ‘Worst Job I Ever Had’.

  195. 195
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    (fluff) (cuttle) RI-CKKKEEEEEEYYY!!!

  196. 196
    50 Calibre says:

    The reality is, of course, that McTwat doesn’t know what to do as an MP any more than he did when he was Chancellor and PM. He appears to be doing nothing because he’s dong precisely that, nothing. He never has done very much really except plot downfalls and cook up smear campaigns and fuck up what was once a world class economy.

  197. 197
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    How many times has Dave voted ?

  198. 198
    Chemtrials are Real says:

    The NWO are killing you slowly

  199. 199

    They’ll be dancing in the streets of Wraith tonight, then?

  200. 200
    Gone fuckin mental says:

    what about the poor pavments?

  201. 201

    Maybe it’ll be an ex-quango soon – we can but hope.

  202. 202
    Groucho says:

    Tin foil hats at the ready!

  203. 203
    BBC British Olympic Team says:

    With two years to go before the London erm British Olympics of 2012, the BBC have reporters at every building site in the country ….

    “Hi, yes, all there is is a load of concrete here, with afew scaffolding poles but it’s looking good, back to you…”

    “The arena here in, erm, wherever, is pledged to be ready on time. The roof has yet to go on but the stadium is very round. ….”

    “This arena is promising to be the first one ready. Sir Chris Hoy is going round on his bike just to prove he can still cycle after all those Bran Flakes. Seb Coe has stayed off the booze for this celebration….”

    So there you have it, a complete round up of the piss up that we are having at your expense

  204. 204
    Eunonymous says:

    oh god, what did you have to do that for?

    ruined my day now

  205. 205
    MI7 says:

    All the lefties/BBC are always whinging about school techers and nurses. Yes they do a valuable job but so does the dustbin man collecting you rubbish. Why is it teachers and nurses are valued above everyone else?

    And if our teachers are doing such a wonderful job how come our children are becoming more and more dumbed down and the UK is falling down the ranks of the world league table?

    And if our NHS/nurses are so wonderful how come we have one of the most unhealthy populations both physicaly and mentaly in the developed world?

  206. 206
    Started shouting at the TV again says:

    I think you’ve got more chance of James May strengthening up the borders..

  207. 207
    Labour Lice says:

    He’s just had a shit on the beach and is about to wipe his brown bottom with The Mirror.

  208. 208
    Eunonymous says:

    146 this is all about how powerful he thinks he is. He turns up infrequently and merely passes a glance at the events. He is above such things now having served the country and ‘done his bit’. He is a first class moron and we still pay him to do fuck all.

  209. 209
    MI7 says:

    the old ‘tinfoil hat’ comments and slurs people throw about when they can’t genuinely discredit evidence that’s right in front of there face.

    groucho rather than saying tinfoil hats, can you post any evidence to prove this video is fake?

  210. 210
    Eunonymous says:

    why couldn’t we have just been happy having the Eurovision Song Contest and called it quits??

  211. 211
    Started shouting at the TV again says:

    Mr Fawkes for next leader of the Opposition, then? (Cheaper than employing a load of schizophrenic, lay-out Lefties.)

  212. 212
  213. 213
    Groucho says:

    Passenger Director? Is that the same thing as a conductor?

    Move along sir, stand clear of the doors

  214. 214
    Sack the leeding lot, rail ticket pricing is a Quango Disgrace says:

    We have 10 board members, three board bus advisers and over 60 staff working out of two offices in London and Manchester.


  215. 215
    Steve M says:

    Presumably you mean that if the Labour leader was a Jew, who then became PM, he would plot with the Israelis to syphon EU funds to Israel. Is that right?

    Leaving aside the fact that you’re clearly a racist who should probably be ignored, you’re missing the fact that with a growth in GDP that’s consistently far higher than any country in the EU and having recently unearthed huge quantities of natural gas, Israel wouldn’t be remotely interested in joining the EU.

  216. 216
    Brown Sugar says:

    He was later alerted to a loophole in the regulations, which allowed a student to run for Rector, a post traditionally held by one of the great and the good of Scottish society. To the University’s mounting fury, Gordon masterminded the election of the first student Rector and one year later he became the second after an energetic campaign supported by canvassers calling themselves ‘the Brown Sugars’.

  217. 217
    That's News says:

    Not comfortable in the company of adults?

  218. 218
    bonfire of the quangos says:

    Her Husband has never done a day’s work in his life. Note she is yet another New Labour trollop who refuses to take on her husband’s name in public life.


  219. 219
    Analonymous says:

    Ms Abbott’s behind is classified under the Official Secrets Act

  220. 220
    giant bee says:


    don’t worry – we will :)

  221. 221
    giant bee says:

    You’re welcome, and of course absolutely correct.

  222. 222
    Anonymous says:

    he’s the one with the orange flag

  223. 223
    Anonymous says:

    You can’t prove it’s a fake, because it’s not. That’s a real aeroplane. However, it’s not what the poster, video producer or (by your comment) you claim it to be.

    I invite you to consider long and hard the work by Magritte “Ceci n’est pas une pipe”.

  224. 224
    Archer Karcher says:

    Half arsed it definitely is, however that did not stop it being adopted and funded by the Brussels Kommissars.
    Headquarters is the Pedrables Palace in Barcelona and if you Google “The Union for the Mediterranean” and the “Committee for the Regions”, you can find out about all the ongoing plans and initiatives.
    Why they even have a pretty flag which member states can fly in conjunction with their own. Just to get the proles used to what is coming.

  225. 225
    The Golem says:

    LDs – Next week perhaps? so gross a traitor to this country has to be destined for a lucrative slot somewhere. I’m sure he’s done everything expected of him.

  226. 226
    Is it a bird, is it a plane? No some hero has pushed Ed Balls off the roof says:

    Although it would be a mess, me and Darren from the ‘Scrape the Bastards Off the Pavement Society’ would donate our services FOC if the projectile known as Ed were to be closely followed by Ed Leader Two, his pixie faced waster of a wife.

    I thank you.

  227. 227
    Ms Abbot of St Hypocrace's Closed Convent of West Indian Mums says:

    Dat not me arse. Dat a hemergency store of Rice n’ Peas

  228. 228
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    @There’s No Post etc. Understand and agree with your first two paragraphs, having been there myself. But what do you want? That all areas up to and including Istanbul and Edirne become like Syria? Your argument about former enemies could more so apply to France. That we owe them nothing does not mean we have to bury our heads in the sand until it becomes too late.

  229. 229
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    @Paragnostic. I used to grow my own, in the garden in St Albans, some 25 years ago, in amongst the tomato plants, but now its just booze and sex, the former in moderation so the latter does not suffer.

    I do not need to explain to someone of your undoubted calibre what ontic vagueness is, methinks.

  230. 230
    Shire Tory says:

    How can you do 10000 words a day for a Tesco cook book?

  231. 231
    John Thomas says:

    Shouldn’t Gordoon be renamed Lurcio

  232. 232
    Spot the Dog says:


  233. 233
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Someone else who hasn’t spotted it, or in denial.

    Make your own minds up, if they’re open enough.

  234. 234
    Engineer says:

    That’s a big secret to conceal.

  235. 235
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    You can’t talk about the Beard like that!

  236. 236
    knobnuts says:

    yvette would be taxing when very pissed in the dark late at night let alone first thing in the morning sober…oh frightening what might appear on the horizon

  237. 237
    knobnuts says:

    its the jaffa cakes for gordon charity of course

  238. 238
    Can’t remember my moniker says:

    No wonder he is fucking blinky-eyed – we have all been talking about him, ad nauseum here, for years. Why didn’t we think of that before?

  239. 239
    knobnuts says:

    getting his bed sorted for the night

  240. 240
    Anonymous says:

    A reading of your views clearly shows you have a mind incapable of being open.Your contribution to this blog is not worthy of consideration without supporting evidence for the assertions in your #24.

  241. 241
    davemcwish says:

    Nah, can opener and tin of Pedigree Chum – 30s tops

  242. 242
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Oh yes!!…..we dive at dawn!!

  243. 243
    Groucho says:

    Looks more like an aircraft dumping fuel to me.

    This is common practice in order to reduce landing weight. Many aircaft have max landing weights that are significantly lower than their max take off weights, so may have to shed several tons of fuel before landing.

    Another common situation is that a flight may be diverted to an airfield with a short runway. Again the pilot needs to shed as much weight as possible. The fuel is dumped at high altitude to ensure that it evaporates before reaching the ground, giving the ‘chemtrails’ so beloved of conspiracy theorists.

    What evidence do you have that it is something more sinister?

  244. 244
    davemcwish says:

    Advancing her political career.

  245. 245
    Anonymous says:

    Lets hope the c unt is in a level 4 state after all thats where he put our economy !!!

  246. 246
    Anonymous says:

    That we owe them nothing does not mean we have to bury our heads in the sand until it becomes too late.

    ‘Bury our heads in the sand’ would be allowing 80+ million more Muslims right of entry into Europe and thinking it’ll have no adverse effect on the rest of us. It’s precisely that attitude that has gotten Western Europe into the mess it’s in.

    But as always, it won’t be the political and business classes that’ll be affected by their grandiose scheming. Allowing millions of Turks into Europe is preciely a zero sum game to wankers like Wavie Davie.

    Instead of worrying about Istanbul and Edirne becoming like Syria, start worrying about parts of Europe becoming more like the Middle East, North Africa or Pakistan.

  247. 247
    Anonymous says:

    The problem with many school teachers ( not all but many) is that they themselves have never actually left school. As someone once said a school teacher is a man amongst children and a child amongst men. They live in a little world of their own and some are even grade A Wankers as we all can attest.

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    Hey I tried those numbers and just got through to a sex chat line. I just used your membership and credit card details mind you Sir William, I hope you dont mind.

  249. 249
    wartzandall says:

    good article about them in caravanner’s weekly

  250. 250
    Mike Wood says:

    It were eating the dog, sir?

    Is this a scene from the LIfe of Brian or is this just where the phrase Dog latin came from?

  251. 251
    50 golds will do says:

    just think two years today we’ll be cheering the opening ceremony…wayne rooney kicking a football …becks kicking it back…thousands of screaming toddlers in little teeshirts with the london olympic logo on…sid and doris bonkers from neasden doing a duet of the national anthem..its going to be a belter of a games…. move over bejing
    the brits are here

  252. 252
    Souvlaki Kebab says:

    Turks out of Cyprus and only then we talk. Where are the missing Greek Cypriots?

  253. 253
    pigs in space says:

    Gordon has found time to get an arse licking from a Scotsman interview, the comments are hilarious though.


  254. 254
    Rat's arse says:

    I miss Gorgon McMental. He always had me pissing myself with mirth at his insane ramblings, even though he was a dangerous arsehole. For sheer entertainment you couldn’t beat the lying bastard!

  255. 255

    […] do it? Guido recommends  she spend more time shoring up her own ultra-marginal constituency. As suspected, Brown didn’t hang around for last night’s vote on the Education Bill. Welsh Lib Dem […]

  256. 256
    madge says:

    Wow how exciting! Brown has been seen at Westminster, earth shattering news Guido

  257. 257
    Binky says:

    spot on !

  258. 258
    Petunia Winegum says:

    They like pretty boys like me as well!

  259. 259
    Musician says:

    Yep – and bring stop to the EU using Beethoven as a Supra-National Anthem.
    A wonderful piece which now brings a shudder of loathing to anyone in Britain with an ounce of sense.

  260. 260
    Turkish PM says:

    Given Pasha Cameron’s passion to see Turkey in the EU we will send over 500,000 of our most succulent Turks immediately to help you out of Depression as an act of good faith please welcome them as you have the last 5 million let in by the Labour Government and ensure they get the maximum welfare housing and health freebies your country is famous for doling out.

  261. 261
    Mustpha Phag says:

    Just like Beijing when the London Bus was arsing it around the stadium with Somalians Nigerians Iraqis and Chinese illegal asylum seekers trying to jump on to get into England.
    I wonder given the ethnic mix in London the city of my birth whether any white faces will be shown what a fucking human dustbin London and the UK has become

  262. 262
    Mustpha Phag says:

    Yeh France North Africa in Europe the 1st European nation to be Isalmified a week before Londonstan.

  263. 263
    Ratsniffer says:

    Straight in the fucking bin.

  264. 264
    Anonymous says:

    The Scottish Media is still in the Pay of a corrupt Labour Party it would seem.

  265. 265
    Pig Sick says:

    It”s got it”s own postcode

  266. 266
    Anonymous says:

    Actually I think the phrase is “Lying Propaganda”

  267. 267
    JoJo says:

    My unwritten rule for Newsnight – if it’s Kirsty (the Stanley Unwin answer to sentence construction and the mispronouncing of words), I switch off. I’ve done this since Kirsty’s interviewed a German who spoke perfect English – it was just so embarrassing.

  268. 268
    Anonymous says:

    Immature useful idiot then

  269. 269

    I am glad he is still going to Parliment shows he has not given up yet!!!

  270. 270
    Blue Lady says:

    Why on earth should he have stuck around for the vote? This was a vote for ACADEMIES IN ENGLAND, nothing to do with Gordon Brown or any of the other non-English MPs. This is the problem we have had for the last 13 years. They should not have been in the Chamber let alone have a vote. When our last Scottish Constiuency PM spoke of his plans for education, health and crime, he meant only England as Scotland decides these things for itself as does Wales. Bizarrly he had no control over any of these things in his own constituency. When is somebody going to start standing up for the English. Do English MPs have a say on Scottish education – no. Thanks to the Scottish MPs voting on English only matters, English university students pay tuition fees and end up with huge debts whilst Scottish students do not. The last Government treated England with contempt denying it the same self representation and identity as the other countries of the UK in the devolution process and the Tory party even though it mostly only the English who voted for them choose to say nothing about this. When are the people of England going to wake up?

  271. 271
    I Fucking Loathe Tesco says:

    I agree, Rat’s Arse. The one-eyed wanker should have been sectioned years ago, but Nurse Ratched refused to let him into the ward ever again after he gulped down all the Thorazine in one go.

  272. 272
    Norman Arse says:

    He looks lost now his pretend wife has dumped him.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers