July 22nd, 2010

Burnham’s Bellenden Boy

Despite basing his campaign out of Manchester, even Andy Burnham can’t resist the lures of t’big smoke:

He has invited the great and good of the business world to a breakfast meeting where he will be trying to boost his lacklustre campaign with answers to some big questions. A chance for a hob-nob and maybe even to tap up a donation or two:

Guido’s bowler-hatted and pin-striped co-conspirator was a little surprised when he tried to RSVP as instructed to Mark Glover, the proud owner of an @andy4leader.com email address. Expecting the campaign office, he was instead put through to Bellenden Public Affairs”, a corporate spin merchants based just over London Bridge from the heart of the City’s Square Mile.

Glover, its founder and a Labour man, may well be volunteering for the campaign by helping  Burnham mingle in the City, but he is using his business line and office facilities to do so. Thus Guido presumes such a donation-in-kind will be properly costed and declared by Andy to the proper authorities? Not sure how using a London headquartered corporate spin merchants will help to dispel “the impression that the elite was running the country” which he bangs on about at hustings…


180 Comments

  1. 1
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Andy Burnham is a wanker , Go Ed Balls , I love you

    • 3
      zzzzz says:

      fuck me! this would be dull even for a shit site that’s obsessed by it like LabourList

    • 9
      Oh Deary me says:

      • 14
        LOL says:

        His face says it all. What came out of his mouth was at complete odds wth his looks.

        • 60
          Yosser Burnham says:

          Vote for me. Not them la-di-da shandy drinking London poofs who’ve never done ‘ard days graft in t… Forget it.

      • 180
        Duncan says:

        ‘He’s a man of integrity.’
        ‘[But here he is acting in a manner totally inconsistent with the meaning of the word integrity]‘
        ‘Well… he’s only human.’

        Oh fuck off New Labour.

    • 79
      PissedasaParrot says:

      bell ender thats for sure…little twat couldn’t fuck his way out of a paper bag…hic

      • 108
        GrimeLord says:

        The view from my window is of some flats and a roundabout, once I have looked out of the window I will stare at some of my female colleauges

        • 155
          PissedasaParrot says:

          any good or just mooses ?

          • GrimeLord says:

            A good mix, some very beautiful women (2), good standard “office” totty (4), and MILF 2), plus a load of munters (7-10)

  2. 2
    Police State says:

    And I heard they now have the right to kill a man.

  3. 4
    Selohesra says:

    Bell-end sums him up quite nicely

    • 24
      Anonymous says:

      Bellenden: “An established, independent agency specialising in political, planning and corporate communications.”

      Andy Burnham – taking “political, planning and corporate communications” services from an outfit who seem to be openly calling themselves bell ends?
      Should be interesting.

      Did they take the name after losing a bet or something?

      • 37
        Montgomery Cheddar says:

        There’s a Bellenden Road in Peckham, possibly they’re operating out of there, rather althought it’s a fair way from London Bridge. From memory it was a rather drab terrace street. Possibly a man operating out of his bedroom type outfit like that Johnson chappy in Peep Show?

      • 42
        Dig for Victory says:

        Who in their right mind would associate themselves with a communication company called BellEnd, it would be like hiring a PR called Hitler, a BellEnd for a BellEnd

        • 64
          Bob says:

          ZANU Labour can only hire Belends nowadays…

          They are reduced to the dregs…

        • 67
          AC1 says:

          Or having a candidate called Balls!

        • 173
          Anonymous says:

          It would be like working with a company called “Sweet and Sour Pissflaps”, “Beefcurtains” or “Get it up yer arse” My Goodness what is the world coming to ?

  4. 5
    Tim Lovejoy says:

    Hi , My names Tim Lovejoy and i am a legend

  5. 6
    They should never be in power again! says:

    Haha, Burnham is so light weight that if he is a candidate then the labour party + supporters should realise how low they have sunk. He was a crap minister and would be a crap leader. Mind you it ain’t going to happen so I am not sure why I am bothering to write!

  6. 7
    They should never be in power again! says:

    Why don’t they just disband and organise a new party dedicated to making money, or just join the Conservatives.

    • 23
      Community Organiser, Area K, Zone 9 says:

      True, Cameron’s “conservatives” are not a long step away from ZaNuFilth’s fascist agenda, so why not? The three main parties, spin apart, could easily amalgamate into one and none would notice any change, except in rhetoric.
      They are all bought and paid for servants, for the EU and the EU’s masters, the globalist, corporate world.

      • 150
        Big Society says:

        The Facebook Moat legend page was an example of community action. Cameron didn’t seem impressed,

        • 174
          Anonymous says:

          It was the “Thick as fuck community” right enough but you make a fair point.

  7. 8
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Wasnt Burnham in charge of the nhs when staffs hospital had that problem ?

    • 30

      Er… maybe, but he only displayed the expected New Labour target level of confidence, and OfMin graded him as ‘excellent – approaching foundation level, but must avoid eyeliner’, so he’s well placed to do battle with the Talmud Twins, Testicles and Two Ton Tessa.

      Having said that, he should be heckled with shouts of ‘Stafford’ every time he appears.

    • 31
      Community Organiser, Area K, Zone 9 says:

      He was, many thousands have died in the NHS from entirely avoidable causes, across the UK in the last thirteen years. I believe Dave mentioned the scandal once at PMQ’s. Dave really cares.

    • 33
      NHS Historian and Complaints Dept. Maestro says:

      What problem at Staffs?

      Weren’t no problem what we know of! Everything’s fine, – always has been. Exemplary place, – Staffs. It’s what we call a lamplight trust, – no I mean Lighthouse Trust – not Shithouse – as some unkind poeple have said.

      Send us your name and address and we’ll send some people round to have a word with you.

      Trust me – we’ve got a doctor – somewhere.

      • 71
        Anonymous says:

        Staffs – so good they named a bacterium after it.

        • 120
          NHS Historian and Complaints Dept. Maestro says:

          Oh MRSA ….. weren’t nuffin to do wiv us guv.

          Must be somewhere else you’re finking of.

          I do weight loss advice as well – there are some really fat buggers walking round the NHS corridors (Staff I mean) – got me work cut out I tells yer.

  8. 10
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Have the labour party no shame ?

  9. 11
    Ex TimesOnline user says:

    What a crock!

    ——————————————————

    It has always been our aim to make our two new websites among the most vibrant and enlightening experiences available online.

    We believe that we’ve achieved this, but more importantly, other people agree: our members.

    Here are just a few of the positive comments we’ve received.

    thetimes.co.uk:

    “The standard of the website and content are everything I would expect of The Times.”

    “Each and every section is worthy of a visit; there’s something to please everyone – I have no doubt about that.”

    thesundaytimes.co.uk:

    “It has the incredible depth of the paper combined with the added bonus of interactive tools such as Culture Planner and videos.”

    “The Sunday Times pleasantly surprised me with good integration of multimedia – it really felt like a great Sunday adventure … “

    • 46

      Notice the similarity in syntax and vocabulary among the comments – is this the Times readers’ house style or were they perhaps all penned by the same tired old hack after a long and lugubrious repast?

      • 66
        Can't remember my moniker says:

        Quite right, Paragnostic. They are struggling.

        Meanwhile, how about trying to represent an order-order house style?

        Mixing Sir Bill Quango, The Beast of Clerkenwell, Mr Ned, Engineer, Tuscan Tony, Unsworth, Gone Fuckin mental, Old Holborn (with or without peerage) , nell, AC1, Paragnostic and Mr Slater’s parrot all up in a concrete pump. That is some challenge ….

        • 80
          The Beast of Clerkenwell says:

          It pays the bills you thick Hunt

        • 89
          PissedasaParrot says:

          very selective list though moniker….

          • Apagusta says:

            but as an elder statesman we defer to your selective 11

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            It was just a sample Mr PaP! Two parrots might over-represent the psittacine contributors. My apologies to anyone else whom I might have missed and consequently became offended. Naturally, I omitted myself.

            It was the idea of a composite style to suit all here that entertained me.

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            Apagusta, I actually make it 13 (not counting Old Holborn as two!)

          • you and your bloody psittachophobia moniker! I’d add jgm2 to the list as well, even if he does make too much sense sometimes…

          • Apagusta says:

            lucky number safe 13

          • Can't remember my moniker says:

            There are those with whom you agree; there are also those where you enjoy their style, even if you may disagree over content; and there are those you enjoy almost regardless of what they post. There are also those whose removal to Jericho would not be too far. jgm2 falls into the first category most of the time for me. But, if I am not careful, I shall have to set up a new website, just to account for everyone who has ever posted here (have not seen Mad Frankie Haddock recently, though I bet he is lurking!). Quite understandably, no one would read it!

        • 176
          Unsworth says:

          I’d hate to see a House Style here. What’s particularly enjoyable here is the variety, with various levels of lunacy and/or insight. And, speaking personally, my style may vary depending on my blood alcohol/testosterone levels at any one time.

          This is just about the only forum where I feel I can truly let rip if I want to. It provides real catharsis. Whether it has any other effect (e.g. on Parliament and MPs) I’m not in a position to judge – but I fucking hope so.

      • 97

        OK – I’ll admit it – I suffered some apostrophe confusion in the construction of the phrase “Times readers’ house style”.

        Anyone care to enlighten me as to whether “Times’ readers’ house style” would be better?

        The literal interpretation is “the house style of the readers of The Times”, so there’s a sort of transitive possessive thing going on, which makes me wonder if “Times’” is better than “Times”.

        Or have I smoked too much again?

        • 117
          Can't remember my moniker says:

          Skin up.

        • 128
          Bill Badger says:

          Bit of a moot point really.
          My friend still shows no signs of coming to his senses, by the way.

          • Neither do I – here’s a rendering of the last lines of Rolf Harris’s finest – The Court of King Caractacus….

            Caractacus’s court’s harem’s ladies’ noses’ powdering boys’ britches’ scintillating stitches witches’ pictures are off, dear.

            Transitive possessive at its finest!

          • Phewwotascorcher says:

            yes but he did look a bugger in those high heels

        • 175
          Anonymous says:

          Do apostrophes count online / Do the same rules apply ? Oh wait no one reads the Times online anyway so such debate is purely academic

    • 47
      Outdoor Man says:

      Certainly gets the fire going for a cuppa

  10. 12
    Rather More Concerned says:

    If I was caught on camera hitting someone with a piece of wood as they walked away from me would I get off a charge?

    • 18
      anonymous says:

      no mate, you wouldn’t.

      Makes me wonder who won the war. This fucking shit country is retaining its fascist elitist state purely for the good of the so called elites – Judges, Lawyers, MPs , Peers Police

      CPS looking after its own

      BASTARDS THE LOT OF ‘EM

      Allin it together are we Dave you shit

    • 20
      Bell End Boy says:

      Yes – of course you would! What a silly question! It was your upbringing and all the fault of Maggie wasn’t it. We’ll maek it right for you.

      However, display a U N I O N J A C K, or perfom any other racist act and we’ll ‘av you in a flash.

    • 21
      Police State says:

      Are you ‘in the job’ mate?

    • 50

      Only if you were acting with Common Purpose – of course, if the rest of us do it, we’re up on conspiracy, but Common Purpose is OK for our fine police force.

  11. 15
    Border Terrier says:

    Bellenden Public Affairs: cheap-jack polish for Labour turds.

  12. 16
    John Cipher says:

    BELLENDen, hobKNOB well nob. Really Mr. Fawkes!

  13. 17
    PMSL@Labour says:

    I always think what a pity it is that twozzers like Burnham can call themselves “Right Honourable”, since honourable is the last word anyone would use to describe them.

  14. 19
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Have any of the candidates done any work in the private sector?

    • 26
      A Candidate says:

      ‘Private’ . . . private . . ? . . what’s Private mean . . ?

      Oh … you mean as in ‘Private Parts’ .. ?

      No I’m not one of them.

  15. 22
    They should never be in power again! says:

    He is obviously leader material:

    Voted very strongly for the Iraq war.
    Voted very strongly against an investigation into the Iraq war.

  16. 25
    Dirty perverts says:

    These Nazi Labour MPs are filth.

  17. 27
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Ed Balls is going to be leader , I mean who can resist his blinking , His charm, His wife .

  18. 34
  19. 55
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    So the police can get away with murder again

  20. 59
    roman says:

    Well, if Burnham is doing anything iffy with his expenses, we can no doubt rely on Snow at C4 to investigate?

  21. 63
    Bob says:

    So Toilets Maguire shitting on his own ex Leader the Gurning Goon…

    Who he supported all these years

    What is the world coming to Toilets ??!!

  22. 65
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Its funny how labour have tried to erase the last 13 years as if they never happened

  23. 70
    Da Filth says:

    Get ready to die you scumbags – time for our Roual revenge.

  24. 73
    Gone Fuckin mental says:

    Is Cricket to baised in favour of the batsman ?

  25. 82
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Given that Bellenden Public Affairs is a member of the APPC, I would have thought it implausible that they have not declared to the lobby industry watchdog their involvement with Burnham’s campaign?
    After all, they wouldn’t want to make a complete Bellend of themselves like a certain other (former) APPC member, would they?

  26. 84
    Disco Biscuit says:

    P.S.What kind of PR outfit calls itself Bellenden?!

    • 94
      the old Dufflebag says:

      a bunch of knobs

    • 99
      South of the M4 says:

      A ‘jobs-for-the-boys’ outfit, with no actual knowledge of PR. Otherwise it would not be called so.

    • 101
      Order-Order Prizewinners' Notifications says:

      Congratulations Mr Beavis! You are the 99th person to spot the naughty words and you win a commemorative T-shirt!

    • 149
      ding a ling says:

      I used to play for a pub darts team called the Cock and Bell(enders)

      • 170
        filipinomonkey says:

        There’s a road called Bell End in Wollaston Northamptonshire, fancy having that as your address.

        So Sir as you happeared to be going faster than the permitted speed limit I must ask you a few questions

        Firstly, where do you live

        Bell End Officer

        Punchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  27. 100
    Transvestite dogshaggers PR says:

    We wiil be representing Mr Edward Balls in his attempt to secure the leadership of the Labour party thus helping him on the path to rebuild britain after 10 weeks of Tory misrule

  28. 106
    Chris Huhne says:

    Got an e-mail today from a “bored housewife 32, looking for some action!”
    I sent her my ironing, that’ll keep the bitch busy.

  29. 107
    SNPiss says:

    What is wrong with Salmond? Has he had a stroke?

    http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/Article.aspx/1834237

    What was his defence?
    Fat bastard.

  30. 111
    Peter MangledBum (Lord of the Rings) says:

    “Burnham Bellend’s Boy”
    I hope he was over 16 !

  31. 112
    GrimeLord says:

    ++BREAKING NEWS++

    To brighten up this blog I’ve decided to make up some stories…

    Jack Straw likes to wear a Burka at home

    Nick Clegg is the Junior Partner in the “special relationship”

    • 119
      Willy of Straw says:

      Jack Straw is a berk at home.

      • 126

        Jack Straub is a berk everywhere.

        • 139
          Strawberry Fields forever says:

          The man has a haughty and pretentious style at the despatch box. Never was a good orator – saw him campaigning in Watford, they promptly lost the seat they’d held for 13yrs and came 3rd place. Twat.

          And another thing, saw him a few years ago at Brixton cinema with his wife – she is at least 4 inches taller than him and she kept stroking his hair and patting his head like he was her son. Weird.

    • 123
      THIS BLOKE DOWN THE PUB RECKON'S says:

      Peter Mangledbum had Gordon Browns love child ?
      Ed Balls Eats Frog’s ?
      Diane Abbott wears “Y”front’s ?

    • 134
      TANGO BLAIR says:

      my mate reckons Dave Milliband sniff’s little girl’s bike seats !

      • 145
        Brown is a secret puff says:

        He’s an imbecile. He had to remove himself from a foreign office reception uncontrollably giggling after Barroso farted while shaking his hand.

        I bet he and his brother still give each other dead arms and wedgies.

    • 135
      GrimeLord says:

      I’m so bored i may have to visit the BBC News website

      • 141
        Prof. D. Draper, expert in Despair and Piffle says:

        Much as I applaud your decision to watch the BBC, may I offer you a course of 20 Thereyoupay sessions in the Style of your choice?

      • 143

        Feel free – I haven’t paid for it!

        • 157
          GrimeLord says:

          I’m back, the BBC site was really shit, Nick Robinsons blog about public sector cuts (shock, suprise) what great reporting

  32. 115
    Bully Boy Balls ( heir to Michael Foot ) says:

    Bell end ?? I’m your man !!

  33. 115
    DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC(not police) PROSECUTIONS says:

    Fuckin newspaper sellers are a menace to society
    I’m a right hard bastard me
    and i’m above the law

  34. 122
    (O/T) Jimmy, a riddler says:

    What does Barry O’Drama (‘he will not make a drama out a crisis’) talk about when there is no crisis?

  35. 124
    Lord Manhandlebum of Boy says:

    Can we please pack the whole of the Labour party twats off to Manchester?

    Abbot = mental
    Burnham = pygmy
    Balls = Mcmental’s rentboy
    Milipede the Elder = fan of Star Trek and Doctor Who
    Milipede the Younger = precocious tit

    Would be happy with any of them as leader, esp Abbot or Balls. Whoever get in had better be good at polishing turds.

    • 165
      Rev. Cuntwatcher says:

      balls with his tongue so far up abbott’s arse he needs a plank across his bum to stop him falling in…what a combination.

  36. 125
    Jimmy, a riddler says:

    Riddle number 2. (see above piccy)

    Why does ‘Andy’ Burn’em have a delta shape at the front of his ‘name’

  37. 140
    crip says:

    Lets take to the street and taunt the piglets (C3PO’s) and Boars (proper filth) by shoving them into traffic. that’ll get them to have a heart attack and we can’t be blamed!

  38. 144
    NEWSFLASH!!!!! Gordon B. Wing Walking at Farnborough International Airshow!!! says:

    There – I knew he had a least one talent.

  39. 179
    Duncan says:

    Wait… BELLENDen. Bellenden. And they work in PR? And they chose the name Bellenden?


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It’s money innit.


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