April 27th, 2010

Guy News : Gordon – The Disaster Movie

LabourVision.TV launches today – a crowd sourced effort to produce an online anti-party, anti-political election broadcast.  Details revealed later as to how your home made video can be part of Gordon – the Disaster Movie premiering on May Day.  The bar is high. Come back tomorrow…

Subscribe to the Guidogram


  1. 1
    jgm2 says:

    I disagree. The bar is not high. The bar is so low only a third generation Labour voting in-breed could trip over it.

    Don’t vote Labour because they’re a bunch of self-serving, incompetent, economy wrecking arseholes would be the meme I’d be working at.

    • 25
      Up sh1t creek says:

      Political bloggers versus the rest of the press.

      • 30
        jgm2 says:

        Brillo is wearing my old school tie.

        • 47
          No need to worrry Dave and CCHQ have it all under control says:

          There are four new polls tonight – YouGov in the Sun, Opinium in the Express and ICM in the Guardian. ComRes is not officially out yet, but the Guardian are reporting it here. That gives us:

          YouGov/Sun CON 33%(-1), LAB 28%(nc), LDEM 29%(-1)
          Opinium/Express CON 34%(+2), LAB 25%(-1), LDEM 28%(-1)
          ICM/Guardian CON 33%(-2), LAB 28%(+2), LDEM 30%(-1)
          ComRes/ITV/Independent CON 32%(-2), LAB 28%(nc), LDEM 31%(+2)

          Opinium show a slight movement towards the Conservatives since their last poll, but without any political weighting I would expect them to be rather more erratic anyway. The other three polls all show the Conservatives falling. Again it is just one day’s polls, and the movements are within the margin of error, but it does create the impression that the slight Tory recovery towards the end of last week is fading.


          • Vote Dave vote for the end of democracy says:

          • Vote for what? says:

            Pat Condel, One of the most popular people on youtube who’s videos get millions of hits.

            He is a comedian he is most articulate and cutting.

          • Vote for what? says:

            He is bang on the money – vote lib lab con, get a fascist dictatorship!

          • jgm2 says:

            He sounds like Rick Stein.

            Cook us a fish will you pal.

          • Taxfodder says:

            Negative campaigning does not suit the Tories one little bit, the old saying holds true about stones and glasshouses.

            Warning of doom and gloom and disaster for the UK if (when) voters opt for a hung parliament are easily countered..

            IE If the Tories are so worried about a hung Parliament damaging the UK then perhaps they should encourage their supporters to vote for the competition… no? (not that worried then).

            Its a facile “yah boo sucks ploy” on the Tories part

        • 92

          Since 1997 Labour has transformed the UK’s constitutional arrangements in order to break up longstanding concentrations of power, improve transparency, make government more accountable to the people and strengthen the hand of citizens against the state. Through measures such as devolution, the introduction of Freedom of Information legislation, the Human Rights Act, and reform of both Houses of Parliament, Labour has brought about a “constitutional revolution”.

          • Surveillance State, ID cards, Imprisonment without trial, Rendition, War Crimes, Labour has brought about a “bloodthirsty revolution”.

          • Not the IRA kind says:

            and terrorism to London

          • D L George says:

            Human Rights Act is a good case in point.

            Essentially the HRA states you have ‘Human Rights’ so long as the law says you do not.

            Labour have passed over three thousand six hundres laws to say ‘YOU DO NOT’.

            On a slightly different tact, anyone know how many rules labour have broken within the European Court of Human Rights since 1997?

          • Stormforce says:

            Get you, you nazi new labour dog.
            Labour is the party from hell. Nothing
            but retrograde crap from day 1.

          • Since 1997 Neues Arbeit has passed hundreds of laws covering thousands of new offences, mainly infringing on our freedom of speech and thought.

            These laws are fundamentally opposed to Britishness – I take it as a matter of pride that I have the right to offend someone if their beliefs are distasteful to me, and oppose the idea that the state should dictate to me that giving offence to people for behaviour that they choose should be illegal.

            Most, if not all, of these new laws cover areas that existing laws handled perfectly well. The introduction of the new, politically correct laws, all aimed at forming the behaviour of the individual, has eliminated the role of common sense in the dispensing of justice and shown Neues Arbeit up for the fascist party that they truly are.

            Fuck them, fuck their laws, and may they all suffer severe and prolonged pain in the near future.

          • MI5 says:

            Reform of both Houses of Parliament ???

            Zanu Labour have created the most corrupt House of Commons for two centuries…

            And a voting system which gives ZanuLabour a 10% inbuilt electoral advantage…

            And the most corrupt House of Lords ever…filled with NuLabour/union thieving stooges…

            Quite a record in fact…

          • Mdme Defarge says:

            This country’s rights and freedoms are based on Magna Carta and the Common Law and whilst not perfect, the checks and balances of the centuries have produced a society admired throughout the globe.

            Since those utter self serving, lying, money grabbing parasites in NuLiebour got their hands on it they have reduced us to an international laughing stock and our rights and cherished freedoms have been eroded to dangerous levels.

            So please just take this message back to your Liebour paymesters:

            Eat Shit And Die! OK?

          • Mdme Defarge says:

            Forgot to add the 1689 Bill of Rights…we’ve been at this liberties and rights things for a few years now.

      • 43
        jgm2 says:

        From the ‘grassroots website, Labour List’

        Yes. Grassroots. Spontaneous grassroots support for the Labour idiocy. Because there are thousands of ‘left-leaning’ people out there just looking to proclaim their fucking idiocy.

        My brother lives in a marginal Birmingham seat and regaled me with the grassroots visit he got from an unpaid Labour appara-arsehole today. The incumbent Labour jackass MP, invisible for the previous five years while he voted 100% for whatever the Labour imbecility de jour was being detained somewhere further up the street….

        ‘Can we count on your support’


        ‘Why not?’

        ‘How long have you got? It’s hard to know where to start….’

        Major hilarity as he recounted the ear-bleed he gave the fuckwitted Labour apologist arsehole.

        No cu*nt bothers me in my safe Tory seat in West Sussex. Although it looks like I’ve been shuffled across a constituency boundary to another safe Tory seat.

        • 63

          He should have mentioned Gordon’s “fairer Britain” where, according to the Sunday Times Rich List, the top hundred most wealthy billionaires and millionaires saw their wealth increase by 30%!!!


          • pigs in space says:

            That’s due the the plummeting value of the pound, as it goes down the book value of the assets of the rich goes up, even if they don’t own any more than they did, their net worth measured in McDoom’s incredible shrinking currency goes up.

      • 101

        It will never replace television

    • 28
      Armature says:

      One impressive video Guido.

      • 99
        Nick2 says:

        Only major omission: “At least 3 million illegal guns in Britain under Labour”

        • 112
          D L George says:

          They’re all media headlines so people can’t say they’re quoted out of context.

          Is that a headline? If so…


        • 129

          Nick – who needs a gun?

          I have two crossbows and a handy zip gun that fires shotgun cartridges – woe betide the arsehole that crosses my threshold without invitation.

          Illegal? Fuck them, fuck their laws and fuck their attitudes.

    • 220
      Tesco is fucking the country says:

      jgm2 – you forgot lying, back-stabbing, entrepreneur-hating, stealth tax-mad, regressive, NHS-smashing, immigration-obsessed, quango-loving FUCKWITS. What’s a ‘meme,’ by the way?

  2. 2
    eek says:

    Looks like Newcastle has gone Lib Dem based on tomorrows Northern Echo poll.


    Oops and thank god Nick brown will be going.

  3. 3
    Jonah is a cunt says:

    Blinky Balls being a total c/unt as usual on Newsnight.

    • 85

      This is the Tory response to everything: lie, bully and smear. Only the Labour party are progressive enough to secure our recovery and make the tough decisions facing Britain in these difficult times.

      Relax, let it go.

      Vote Labour!

      • 97
        jgm2 says:

        Very funny.

        Thank fuck that thick cu*nt Labour Pride has gone eh?

        I’d forgotten what an auto-erotic jackass he was.

        Actually now I’m a bit conflicted. You reminding me has made me laugh about what an Onanist arsehole he was. And yet overall I might have been happier forgetting what idiocy was at large in the land.

        • 151
          M.T.Bucket says:

          Very true jgm2, we fight wars in the the name of democracy while we are being led by the three main parties towards exactly the opposite.

      • 114
        Friendly Observer says:

        For the love of god.
        You should be dragged outside and shot for a moniker
        like that. Try softening it to Gary Glitter pride or something.

      • 142
        Doctor Mick says:

        Howabout New_Labour_Third as an aide memoir for how much catching up you’ve got to do?

      • 202
        Old Skool Nokia says:

        Aren’t you the plank who used to refer to himself as Lammy Pride, until your idol got a kicking on Celebrity Mastermind?

    • 147
      Edkunt Ballsup says:

      if Im a c/unt how can I also be a dick?

      common on you tory boys, show some metal

      • 161
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        Because you are the metrosexuals metrosexual. Ever heard of transexuals?

  4. 4
    Jonah is a cunt says:

    Balls kept evading questions and Paxman said a classic: “This is a dialogue of the deaf!”

  5. 5

    It’d be better if you didn’t quote The Mirror and the Daily Mail

  6. 7
    Heir Blair says:

    a humdinger

  7. 8
    Call me Infidel says:

    Superb. Another poll out tonight with the sewer party in third place. Ed Balls must be getting nervous. Keep the champagne on ice.

    • 15
      Clegg, Cable, Miliband, Mandelson: not one Englishman amongst them says:

      Champagne? There’s nothing to celebrate. Clegg and Cable have already done a deal with Miliband and Mandelson to form a coalition govt.

      Prepare for chaos. This country is going over the cliff edge.

      • 27
        Rip Van Winkle says:

        And Labour and the Lib Dems leading the charge over the top. The country is f**ked anyway. We may as well have those who caused the chaos in place to take the can.

        O/T (to jgm2 in particular). Seen the latest economic madness evolving? Listened to some ‘economist’ on Sky the other day and now a US economist on CNBC saying the debt does’t matter! As long as you can finance it at zero per cent, what’s the problem?

        I’ll leave other eminent economists to solve what the problem is!

        • 36
          One party state says:

          All Englishmen other than rabid self hating Marxists were ethnically cleansed from the media and politics a long time ago.

          All deliberate, the English haters hold the strings of power and the purse strings.

          They all dragged in trojan horse after trojan horse, and now look where we are!

        • 38
          Ever felt like the world's biggest mug says:

          Like the rest of the spend, spend, spend retards why can’t contries just write off their debts? Seems fair to me, bollocks to those countries that have gone without, not overspent like their neighbours. More fool them eh?

        • 60
          jgm2 says:

          Gold. Cheap at twice the price. I may have to lie to my wife. In a supposedly first world economy the thought of buying several hundred thousand pounds worth of physical gold should be so unthinkable as to be..well… unthinkable.

          And yet every economic idiocy I’ve predicted for the past decade has come to pass. They really have, quite literally, printed 200bn quid. They still pursue the mantra of high house prices = balanced, vibrant economy.

          There is no amount of cash too great for these jackasses to print. Hence the ‘resurgence’ in house prices as those with surplus cash turn it into something concrete. I think now would be a good time to turn our surplus cash into something concrete and portable.

          Gordon Brown is the greatest living idiot. He is to economics what William McGonigall is to poetry.

          • A Pensioner says:

            Those of us who remember the Wilson years (actually not me, but history handed down by my dad) remember the days when you couldn’t take more than 50 quid out of the country, and holding gold – even the odd sov, never mind bullion – was illegal. I would bet there are contingency plans for capital flight.

          • jgm – you’ve done it now… here’s some McGonagall for ye!

            The Death of the Old Mendicant

            There was a rich old gentleman
            Lived on a lonely moor in Switzerland,
            And he was very hard to the wandering poor,
            ‘Tis said he never lodged nor served them at his door.

            ‘Twas on a stormy night, and Boreas blew a bitter blast,
            And the snowflakes they fell thick and fast,
            When a poor old mendicant, tired and footsore,
            Who had travelled that day fifteen miles and more,
            Knocked loudly at the rich man’s door.

            The rich man was in his parlour counting his gold,
            And he ran to the door to see who was so bold,
            And there he saw the mendicant shivering with the cold.

            Then the mendicant unto him said,
            My dear sir, be not afraid,
            Pray give me lodgings for the night,
            And heaven will your love requite;
            Have pity on me, for I am tired and footsore,
            I have travelled fifteen miles to-day and more.

            Begone! you vagabond, from my door!
            I never give lodgings to the poor;
            So be off, take to your heels and run,
            Or else I’ll shoot you with my gun!
            Now do not think I’m making fun;
            Do you hear, old beggar, what I say?
            Now be quick! and go away.

            Have mercy, sir, I cannot go,
            For I shall perish in the snow;
            Oh! for heaven’s sake, be not so hard
            And God will your love reward.

            My limbs are tired, I cannot go away,
            Oh! be so kind as let me stay.
            ‘Twas vain! the rich man said, I shan’t,
            And shut his door on the mendicant,
            And said, That is the way I’ll serve the poor
            While I live on this lonely moor.

            Then the old mendicant did go away,
            And, murmuring to himself, did say,
            Oh, woe’s me that ever I was born!
            Oh, God, protect me from the storm!
            My feeble limbs refuse to go,
            And my poor heart does break with woe.
            Then he lay down and died among the snow.

            He was found by the rich man’s shepherd next day,
            While he was searching for sheep that had gone astray;
            And he was struck with fear and woe
            To see the body lying dead among the snow.

            So the shepherd ran home and told his master
            About the very sad disaster;
            That he had found a dead body in the snow,
            But whose it was he did not know.

            Then the rich man ordered the body to be brought to his house
            And to be instantly dressed by his loving spouse,
            For his conscience smote him with fear and woe,
            When he heard of the old mendicant being found dead in the snow.

            So the poor old mendicant was buried without delay
            In a very respectable way,
            And from that very day the rich man was kind to the poor
            And never turned any one away from his door.

            Never mind the beautiful bridge oer the silvery Tay – this is pure poetic torture!

        • 181

          You can always finance the debt if you own the currency. Issue nicely minted pound notes when the debt comes up for redemption.
          There are no financial constraints on a sovereign nation with its own currency. It is always solvent (which is why joining the Euro is an exceptionally bad idea).

          There’s actually no need to issue debt at all. A government can just magic money into existence and spend it directly in the economy if it wants (remembering that it has to tax any surplus out of existence to prevent inflation).

          The issue is only whether the economy can absorb the liquidity such a policy would produce. If not then you need to cut spending or raise taxes to prevent inflation.

      • 33
        You'vefucking ruined my country says:

        I’ve got my supplies in, my stash is stocked up and the Jimmy Hendrix Experience is the only thing on the iPod. I’m heading for suspended animation for two years. When I ‘wake’ up hopefully there will be maidens frollicking in the fields, I’ll be able to fill my car with petrol without begging the bank manager and my daughters wil get jobs befitting their qualifications.

      • 96
        Call me Infidel says:

        Prepare for chaos. This country is going over the cliff edge.

        I don’t disagree with you but I planned ahead for just such an eventuality. It was obvious to me that once Bliar was elected the second time around that it would all end in tears. The insanity of continual, above inflation increases in house prices, and the unfettered immigration policies the sewer party inflicted on Britain only reinforced my view that the UK was heading for disaster.

        I made my move two years ago and emigrated. However the death of the sewer party is what is needed before things will ever improve. I for one will be celebrating when the one eyed son of a nonce is dragged out of No10 and Ed Bollox loses his seat. Once they are destroyed Britain might stand a chance of getting back on track. However I don’t think Cameron is the bloke to do it. So I am quite happy for a plague to be visited on all three faces of the LibLabCon alliance.

        • 100
          ANGRY & sober says:

          The inevitable inter-party horse-trading conferences before Parliament resumes would be an ideal opportunity for a decapitation strike.

          Name the venue & I’ll post the missile targeting coordinates…

      • 188
        Mr Shorofsky says:

        Been busy up near Smolensk lately?

    • 130
      Alan Philip Bonggg says:

      I think on the night the Conservatives will poll more than the opinion polls suggest. There is a large cohort of “shy voters” who, as a result of BBC etc portraying the Tories as the nasty party and therefore people who vote for them as a nasty person will only declare their views in private but not to a stranger. This is mitigated partly by the methodology of YouGov being an anonymous online panel, but then they weight their data from towards Labour and away from the Conservatives quite considerably on their own secret assumptions. In a comparison between raw data and the published weigthed data there has been as much as an over 6% difference in the projected Conservative lead.

      • 230
        stilyagi_air_corps says:

        Spot. On.

      • 231
        Mdme Defarge says:

        Yes! Believe it or not there are people ignoring the blogs and the MSM because they know they are going to toddle out on May 6th and vote for the Tories. At the moment they are working, shopping, digging the garden, looking after their kids and completely oblivious to the pollsters and pundits.

  8. 9
    Ed Balls says:

    So, I hear Dutch Nick and Old Uncle Vince have done a deal with Mandelson and Little Davie Miliband to dump poor old Gordon and form a Labour/LibDem coalition government after they come second and third in the election.

    Over my dead body, the c’unts!

    • 11
      Dutch Nick says:

      Please refer to me by my proper title: Count Nicolai Cleggovsky of Bankingograd

    • 219
      Woman on a Raft says:

      Sorry Ed, but Nick is going to lead the next main Opposition party and he doesn’t need Labour’s hand in marriage. On May 7 he’s going to look at the gap between himself and Cameron and think “hmm….I could jump that in five years, maybe less, considering that this lot are going to be very unpopular with the cuts they are going to have to make. Still, let them get on with it and I’ll scoop the results, the way Labour did in 1979″. One thing you’ve got to admit about the LibDems is that they are patient and don’t give up easily.

      If this is a post-Capitalist age (doubtful) then Labour has passed its sell-by date. It grew up quickly in an age of giant consolidated blocks of workers, but that world has gone. There just isn’t a role for you in this soap opera, history is writing you out.

  9. 10
    The last days of Labour says:

    Who else is looking forward to the business debate tomorrow on BBC2 between Ken Clarke and Mandy? Brillo is a terrifically forensic interviewer and I’ll relish seeing Mandy bristle angrily at Neil’s questioning style. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mandy ends up having a tantrum in this election before Mentalist McDoom’s probable live meltdown on Thursday.

    • 16
      Vince Cable is a fucking joke says:

      Don’t get too excited. Brillo will attack Clarke and protect Mandelson.

    • 24
      Babooshka Clegg says:

      Brillo will protect Mandelson and attack Clarke. That’s the way it works on the BBC.

    • 26
      Ratsniffer says:

      Mandy will try his smarmycharmy shit-eating grin style of ” Well, Andrew, if you’d just let me finish please…” brillo should lean across and say “well if you’d answer the fuckin’ question, pal…”

    • 95

      We believe that support is vital for parents in the crucial early years of a child’s life. We are offering parenting support and childcare which enables parents to work and train, advice and healthcare in a flexible and all-round setting. In order to deliver this, since the late 1990s we have been rolling out Sure Start Children’s Centres, and since 2005 we have been working to open a Children’s Centre in each community – a target we hit in March 2010.

      • 120
        Realist says:

        Labour like to snare people and make them dependent
        on their smash and grab raids on the heroes that actually take this country forward.

        Labour is the party of misery and death.

      • 169
        New Labour Bollocks says:

        We believe in separating children from emotional dependency on natural parents as soon as possible so that they will accept the State as Parent. We are offering support to allow the feckless breeders of our uniquely successful State youth propaganda system to rid themselves of the real responsibilities of parenthood so that they can continue to their inevitable status as brain-dead worker ants to the glory of Socialism. Our Kiddy Gulags have been so successful that no part of EU Areas 5, 6 and 7 is without one.

        • 205
          Mr Ned says:

          How true comrade. The glorious leader sees all and knows that it is good.

          We begin our indoctrination, sorry, education from a very early age. Brainwashing, Sorry teaching, the future state dependants to feel great guilt about their contribution to climate change, so that they will grow and work very hard for the state to make amends for their misdeeds. They are also taught that their parents are bad and that their parents will try to mislead them into thinking unstatelike thoughts, and that they must learn to document what their parents do and inform on their parents to our state teachers who may take appropriate action against any parent who considers themselves above the state. This is recorded on the child’s permanent record.

    • 108
      Nick2 says:

      Brillo tends to lob a relatively short question & then smash back the replies. That’s probably not going to work on Mandleslime, who seeks to dominate every interaction he has.

      Just watch him elide Brillo’s questions, or deflect them into the pack of the other, aspirant Business Ministers to try to answer.

      The only way to get the truth out of Mandleslime involves prolonged waterboarding…

    • 132

      Clarke will tear off Mandy’s head and shit down his neck – I’ve already got the recorder set for the entertainment.

    • 241
      Tesco is fucking the country says:

      What time? PLEASE!

  10. 12
    The last days of Labour says:

    Vote Lib Dem. Get Labour.

    Vote Brown. Get Miliband.

    • 71
      The last days of the Heir to Blair Tony Cameron says:

      Vote Blu-Labour. Get Nu-Labour.

      Vote Dave. Get Blair.

      • 207
        Mr Ned says:

        Yeah I see what you did then, You are claiming that because Dave said he is the “heir to Blair” that Cameron will step down and allow the real Tony Blair to take over?

        Is this the same Tony Blair who famously claimed to be the “real heir to Thatcher”?

        What they mean (and should have said is) that they are the heir to the office of Prime Minister.

        Your shit trolling is not convincing anybody

  11. 13
    Bump says:

    Nothing but a federal Republic of England will do.

  12. 14
    Gordon Brown says:

    I started in America.

  13. 17
    Give Antony Calvert a medal says:

    If Calvert kicks out Balls, I’ll personally go to Morley and Outwood to shake his hand.

    • 22
      Dutch Nick's Russian Babooshka says:

      It would be better if Balls wins and stays in parliament. The battle between him and Miliband/Mandelson for the Labour leadership would tear the party apart.

      • 208
        Mr Ned says:

        Nope, because if the tories do not get an outright majority, Milliband, Mandelson, Johnson and Balls will all be sucking up to Nick Clegg for all they are worth.

        The real battle in the labour party can only happen if they are out of office completely.

    • 146
      Down with Brown! says:

      If the good people of Morley and Outwood kick out the odious Mr Balls it will become the nation’s favourite holiday destination.

  14. 18

    [...] Guy News : Gordon – The Disaster Movie Share This: [...]

  15. 21
    John Prescott says:

    I’m having a pie before bedtime.

  16. 23
    Jonah Brown says:

    Vote Labour or I’ll shove you out of your chair.

  17. 32
    Brown is bad and dangerous says:

    Some of Michael Jackson’s song titles are rather apt when it comes to McRuin and Liebore:

    Beat It
    Smooth Criminal

  18. 34
    Jonah is a cunt says:

    Anyone just see the hilariously combative exchange between Paxo and the economic adviser to Plaid Cymru? Absolute classic. Watch it later on iPlayer if you missed it.

    • 45
      EurolwVn Jones says:

      Yeah, it was a classic.

    • 51
      Paxo Stuffed says:

      Wicked Dr Eurfyl ap Gwilym, even the wife laughed out loud for a first!

    • 215
      Anonymous says:

      The Plaid guy was up his own fundament but he did a great job of making Paxo look like an out of his depth, bumbling schoolboy. Car crash Tv for Paxo – he must be getting plenty of stick at the Beeb for that performance.

  19. 35
    Ewanme says:

    Yeah …… and ……… ????

    I know all that , darlin x .

    Luckily for me , I ain’t no bread-head an I can look after meself .

    Where should I put my cross , then ??

    E x .

    • 56
      D L George says:

      “I know all that , darlin x .”
      Yeah, but you’d be surprised how many millions don’t.

  20. 37
    Article 38 says:

    Yet again it’s the most important election for many years, and the minds of the voters consider weighty political matters…

    1997: “Ooh, that Mr Blair looks like a nice young man. Let’s vote for him”.
    2010: “Ooh, that Mr Clegg looks like a nice young man. Let’s vote for him”.

    Baa, baa, baa… It would be nice if the British public could use their brains for once.

    • 42
      Time To Go Gordon says:

      Give Clegg 4 years and he’ll be starting pointless wars. Give him 10 years and he’ll be richer than his daddy.

    • 58
      Jackass Straw says:

      After 13 years of Labour education and Political Correctness conditioning, more than 50% of the population’s brainpower is registering ‘nul points’.

    • 59
      Jan says:

      No representation without taxation.Should people who don’t contribute to the exchequer be allowed a say in how the country is run?

      • 77
        Dodgy Tory says:

        That’s Lord Ashcroft fucked then.

        • 212
          Mr Ned says:

          At Least Ashcrof didn’t claim a penny on expenses, unlike Labour’s Lord Paul who claimed hundreds of thousands of pounds and who also has not contributed in tax to this country.

          At Least Ashcroft does some good with his money here and spends it far more efficiently, effectively and wisely than this incompetent, corrupt and hypocritical, non-dom loving labour party.

          Labour prefers their nom-doms to be grubby expense stealing, pensions-robbing corrupt and hypocritical fuckwits.

      • 143
        Doctor Mick says:

        Should people who don’t contribute to the exchequer be allowed a say in how the country is run?

        That would cut out Labour’s entire electoral base.

  21. 39
    Dead Politicians says:

    They are all living in fucking dreamland. wait for the 6th.they are all out.

  22. 40
    Sarah Beard says:

    Good to be home after a day on the campaign trail. Now I can relax and make my nightly phone call to my special friend in Canterbury.

  23. 41
    Leaky pipes says:

    Its been a long day so sorry if this replicates. How come it is Camaron that gets heckled twice today? After Gordo charming that pissed of publican, the chicken stalking Camaron, the egging of camaron, Fox’s flat getting turned over now these incidents yet Camaron was considered the most trustworthy. Brown must be the most despised person in the country yet nothing. Cleg also would be open to heckling yet nothing.

    • 48
      JB says:

      Labour arrange for Cameron to be heckled. The Tories don’t reciprocate.

      • 190
        Elderly life-long supporter of NuLiebour says:

        Watch yourself, heckling is an offence under the Terrorism Act.

      • 214
        Mr Ned says:

        Brown does not go near real people, even these “impromtu” Brown chatting to the unemployed bloke, was an act. He is a labour activist. They would not dare let Brown anywhere near real people.

    • 98
      Tachybaptus says:

      Camaron? You mean, like …

      Camarones al ajillo

      2 cdas. de mantequilla
      1 libra de Camarones pelados y limpios
      5 dientes de Ajo machacados
      2 cdas. de jugo de limon
      4 cdas. de vino blanco
      Sal y Pimienta a gusto
      Perejil o cilantrillo picadito

      En un sartén derrite la mantequilla, sofria el ajo con los camarones a fuego mediano luego agregue el jugo de limon y el vino y deje que reduzca y que se marine en esos liquidos.
      Luego añade el perejil o cilantrillo y deja cocinar a fuego bajito por 5 o 10 minutos siempre chequeándolos y meneándolos.

      ¡Muy delicioso!

  24. 44
  25. 46
    grobdj says:

    Where have all the factories gone
    13 years passing
    Where to find the new jobs from
    I’d like to know

    Where has wealth-creation gone
    Choked by regula-ation
    When will they ever learn
    When will they e-e-ver learn

    Where has all my pension gone
    13 years passing
    Where has all my pension gone
    I’d like to know

    Where has all my pension gone
    To Goldman Sachs and Lehman
    When will they ever learn
    When will they e-ever learn

    Where have all my taxes gone
    13 years passing
    Where have all my taxes gone
    I’d like to know

    Where have all my taxes gone
    Pissed up the wall by Go-or-don
    He’ll let the country burn
    This man will never learn

  26. 50
    Gordon Broon says:

    I’m still here.

  27. 52
    Mnsgr. Phoney "£rd Way" Bliar, ********, ***, ********, emoting, and wiv stupid grin, says:

    Remember my River of Fire?

    Well that’s what Gorgon could do to Britain if you vote for Him.

    And you could be filthy rich too, – like wot I am – if you vote Noo_Lie_Bore and get all the way to the top.

    So hey! – trust me! – I’m a straight kinda guy.

    • 111
      Nick2 says:

      So, Tony, at precisely which point did you trade in your immortal soul?

      • 134
        Anonymous says:

        Time and date here:

      • 217
        Mr Ned says:

        When he and his wife undertook that elite “raising up” ceremony at the Pyramid at Giza.

        • 233
          stilyagi_air_corps says:

          Link? I didn’t believe that story about Mandleson having that chicken (poultry) sacrificed in Brazil, at first… But it turned out to be fact.

          Dark forces, anyone?

  28. 53
    lol says:

    Paxman was ripped a new arsehole by some old fellah from Plaid Cymru on Newsnight tonight. The arrogant but useless BBC hack was left mumbling and shaken by the Welsh onslaught.

    • 75
      Jan says:

      Arrogant b………rd from Plaid Cymru.Talk about delusions of his own grandeur.Even if Londoners do get more per head than the Welsh (which I doubt) they produce the wealth not Wales.London has far greater social problems and has become the dustbin of the world. I’d like to see Northern Ireland,Scotland and Wales being divorced by the English.That would serve them right.See how long they’d last.Let them go cap-in-hand to Europe. Even the Europeans would tell them to f….k off. The Northern Irish have spent the last 40 years bombing each other expecting to be bailed out by the English. As for the Scottish (ooohhhhh it’s all our oil) let them go. At least we’d be rid of the likes of McDoom,Alexander and Salmond. They bankrupted themselves in 1707.Now they’ve bankrupted us with their grandiose schemes.

  29. 54
    jgm2 says:

    Paxo getting his arse kicked is probably over egging it but I’d say old Nick certainly held his own.

  30. 57
    No 11 needs Balls says:

    Selective analysis. Pick out the few under achievements and ignore the many successes.
    Hopeless Tory spin. Must be getting desperate.

    • 91
      D L George says:

      Ignore many successes?
      Could you enlighten us with a few?

      • 223
        Mr Ned says:

        Labour have managed to trap millions of people into a life of dependency on benefits and tax credits. They have made at least 30% of the country utterly dependent on the labour party and a further 15% somewhat dependent.

        I guess that labour would count that as success.

        O/T but I was watching the news the other night and they interviewed a couple who work in the public sector and they were saying how scared they are now that they know that whoever wins the election they believed that there would be large cuts coming and they were fearful for the future.

        Well, As someone who EARNS a living in the private sector, selling products and services to the private sector, I say GOOD! It is about time that the fucking parasitic seat polishers who find new and more overwhelming ways to tie up businesses in red tape FELT the same fear that they inflict on businesses all the fucking time.

        WHY the fuck should people in the public sector be immune from the effects of the massive labour induced economic crash? Especially as it is these pen-pushing fuckers who have helped to undermine the competitiveness of British businesses.

        I have felt this fear for the future every day for YEARS! I still get up every morning and go out and try to make our clients more effective and productive and efficient. So that they can get More for Less.

        The public sector SHOULD try that for a change!

  31. 61
    Everyone Hates Jonah says:

    Lynne Featherstone looking quite MILFy on This Week. Thank fuck Diane Fat Abbot isn’t on.

    • 66
      Strength through mob fever says:

      Thanks for your in depth political guidance.
      Do you read the text, or just look at the pictures?

      • 76
        Catflap says:

        That’s as good an observation as I’ve heard from the great sage Abbot herself.
        Waste of fucking space she is.

      • 88
        jgm2 says:

        Personally I use a Gestalt approach.

        Basically, thanks to the Brownian Idiocy (1997- 2010) – we’re fucked. From every conceivable direction.

        In future years students of philosophy will be parachuted in to a virtual 2010 scenario to understand the true Gestalt ‘big picture’, the convergence of understanding. We are quite literally at a convergence of fucked-ness. We’re fucked economically, socially, internally, internationally, demographically, geographically, politically and from any other angle you care to -ally us from.

        The entire universe is having the next decade off as all its idiocies converge on the UK.

        • 105
          Dave had a 28 point lead. Where did it all go wrong Dave ? says:

          It’s not Dave’s fault. He’s great!

        • 148
          albacore says:

          The critical gestalt is the Lib/Lab/Con Hydra. It’s a single, loathsome beast with three ravenous heads. Cut one off and, after a while, it just grows back.
          Cut two off and the last becomes indestructible.
          Heracles solved the problem by cauterizing the Hydra’s severed necks and burying the last head deep under a rock. That fixed its wagon.
          It’s time for a change, alright.

  32. 67
    Vote Egg get Omelet says:

    I’m cluggin clegg.egg clegg omelet

  33. 68
    Catflap says:

    When England get kicked out the world cup in the early stages I lose interest in the rest of the tournament.
    I felt the same way before the election was called so haven’t watched much of the shitkickers from the LibLabCons at all.
    Bring on the Killing fields and lets be done with the Middle Class cliterati.

  34. 70
    Labour For The Win! says:

    Labour are on the up. Expect a massive resurgence in the next few days. Labour are giving help to real families now and the Tories are going to destroy our recovery and the public will make the right decision

    • 73
      Labour for the Dim! says:

      No they aren’t.

      All three Parties are hovering around the same poll rating.

      Brown’s fucked and a hung parliament is on the way.

    • 82
      Who's that in last place? says:

      Must you keep posting evry 5 minutes under differnt names.


      Its a government spy program. You should be very proud

    • 154
      Specsavers says:

      Your “real families” come from East Europe, Yemen, Sudan and satellite Russian countries, etc. No-one here is getting help and we’re being taxed to the hilt.

      Take off your Labour rose-tinted monocle.

    • 226
      Mr Ned says:

      WOW, you suffer the same level of delusional fantasy as your hero Gordon Brown.

      Labour are FUCKED! The ONLY thing that can save them is the obscenely biased seat boundaries because their popularity is not improving,

  35. 79

    Labour are the party of fairness and equality and diversity for all. No other party has such an excellent record and you tribal Tories are too stupid and ungrateful to realise. Labour – a future fair for all.

    • 83
      Who's that in last place? says:

      Hello Harman.

    • 122
      awake says:

      As if you deserve the right to be listened to.
      I wouldnt be surprised if you new labour criminals brought in Gulags and death camps if you won.

    • 144
      Anonymous says:

      Is this like gay pride?

    • 177
      udderly 'orrible says:

      Ah yes and that includes the country’s millions of Catholics?
      Wondering why no-one will be sacked?
      Wonder no more.

      • 203
        Anon says:

        Any chance of this twat asking the next senior visiting Muslim Cleric would he like to open a bacon buttie restaurant and at the same time raise awareness of the need in the muslim world to raise more pigs and promote gay values?
        Thought not.
        Still at least you know who the chosen ones are in Labour’s version of Britain.They will not even sack the bastard for gross misconduct not to mention religious bigotry and racially ridiculing the leader of the Catholic Church.

        • 228
          Mr Ned says:

          Yeah, but if he had suggested that a guest house owner had the right to choose who stays in their guest house, he would have been fired on the spot!

          New labour prejudice and bigotry is slowly becoming more blatant than the old fashioned anti-black racism, insofar as this new labour bigotry is slowly being hardwired into the legal system.

          Discrimination against Catholics and heterosexuals will be mandatory before long.

  36. 80
    The last days of Labour says:

    Can we have the Paxman/Plaid interview put on the site? It’s comedy gold.

  37. 84
    Fuck Labour says:

    Let’s hope good old Ken Clarke has some choice zingers lined up for his debate with Mandelson tomorrow. He’s got plenty to go with. A few digs about Mandelson taking the piss out of Gordon and positioning Milipede as new leader would be good.

    • 152
      Professor Henry Brubaker, Institute for Studies says:

      Would be good if he could slip in a few comments re: brazillian rent boys and passports etc…

      • 178
        Europaische Wirtshaftsgemeinschaft says:

        Or Labours complete sell out to Brussels…oh wait…..

  38. 93
    ZaNew Liebore says:

    Hilarious. Livingstone on This Week saying Labour are doing well in the campaign and Brown has clawed back support. Brillo asked him what planet he’s on.

  39. 94
    Poliey says:

    Glasgow cops make jajor arrest in Hollie case

  40. 106
    Plato says:

    Urgh – what a crap video.

  41. 115
    Dodo Pigeon says:

    My gaster was truly flabbered on seeing that Cameron seems to have shortlisted a non-white into Julie Kirkbride’s old seat of Bromsgrove. Her 10K majority is under serious threat as the area has many parishes with absolutely zero non-white voters. They are intolerant and will not be abused as tools for Dave’s PC multiculturalism.

    • 180
      Europaische Wirtshaftsgemeinschaft says:

      Dave’s a third way, progressive, multiculti socialist, expect nothing less.

  42. 117
    Tapestry says:

    Vote for a Hung Parliament, either by supporting Labour or Lib Dem – or vote for a Conservative Government.

    There’s the choice in a nutshell.

    Furthermore the Lib Lab Hung Parliament would introduce Proportional Representation without a referendum, meaning all future Parliaments would be Hung in perpetuity.

  43. 141

    I tell you it will all end in tears – it always does.

  44. 145
    Exterminate Labour! says:

    Gorgon sez:

    Speaking to journalists while travelling by train from London to Bournemouth, Mr Brown said that there was no anger among the electorate over the conflict in Afghanistan.

    “I think what you guys are looking for is someone to throw an egg at me or something and then say that there is some public anger,” he said.

    “This is not like 2005, just let me tell you. This is not like 2005 when there was so much anger about Iraq.

    “You are not going around the country finding people are angry about Iraq or Afghanistan, and you are going around the country talking to people about the issues.”

    • 149
      Anonymous says:

      Just goes to show how stupid he is.
      Broken or bodybagged our young soldiers return from the unwinnable or the illegal.
      Those still there won’t find it easy to vote.

      I cannot believe that he thinks he is listening to the ” public” when he listens to the contrived crowds cheering him – all twelve of them.

    • 150
      Catflap says:

      Gordon only speaks to 5 year olds and Labour party members on his Grand tours of EU District 9.

  45. 155
    concerned says:

    is the death of Ian Tomlinson going to be another Blair Peach scenario???

    • 171

      Fucking Blair Peach – what a waste of time and effort investigating the death of the leftie c’unt.

      The report in the ‘Independent’ (fucking laughable name for a Commie rag if ever there was one) yesterday described him as a ‘peace campaigner’. He may have gone on some marches supporting peace at some time in his life, but the communist riot in which he lost his life was by no means a peace march – it was the fascist Left trying to impose their will on the National Front, who had sought and received permission for their march.

      Bring back the SPG, rubber coshes and a proper attitude to lefties!

      Pity they didn’t twat that orange c’unt Hain at the same time.

      • 194
        Hugh Janus says:

        As you say, a waste of time – and money, of which we have an unlimited supply if the sum of nearly £200 million spent on the ludicrous Bloody Sunday enquiry is any guide.

  46. 156
    Untitled Gordon Brown Movie says:

    lol they stole our idea Guido

  47. 163
    udderly 'orrible says:

    O/T: but its postal voting time in Bradford again …..

    “Record levels of postal votes are set be cast across the district in both the General Election and local election being held on May 6. Ballot packs are being sent out to the 58,702 people who have applied to vote by post in the General Election and the 59,328 who want a postal vote for the Bradford Council elections….a high-profile case is proceeding through the courts with four men accused of vote-rigging in the run up to the 2005 General Election. A trial is expected later this year.” (http://bit.ly/aOuXxm)

    Justice can take time!

  48. 166
    City of Vice says:

    I despair at the lack of political nous showed by Cameron and his overpaid CCHQ handlers in prosecuting the election campaign. Labour and the Liberals should be dead, buried and out of sight right now and would have been were it not for Cameron’s folly. Immigration? Labour’s wrecking of the economy? The EU? Crime? Where’s the beef?

    My latest concern is that Cameron is failing to engage the enemy on the matter of electoral reform. As a result the Libs and Labour are setting the running on this issue aided and abetted by cheerleading for a hung Parliament by the champagne socialist ruling class. When electoral reform emerged as an issue the Tories should have set out a clear message on that engages with the innate conservatism of the people early on. Instead CCHQ were too busy puffing up the ‘Cameron’s Conservatives’, his ‘Big Society’ trendy-vicar nonsense. So now the Tories are having to play catch up. Again.

    There is nothing inherently wrong with the British system of first past the post voting in single member constituencies. When properly organised FPTP promotes a clear result and also promotes the direct responsibility of MPs to local electors. The unfair and undesirable aspects of the voting system largely relate to the fact that electorate boundaries are out of kilter and have been gerrymandered by Labour. This results in too wide a variation constituency size, in terms of the number of electors, and hence the number of votes needed to elect an MP in different areas. PR is no solution. It is a corrupt foreign confection that gives power to backroom wheeler dealing between party power brokers at the expense of ordinary voters.

    Time is running out, Dave. Up your game. The electoral extinction of the corrupt Labour Party was there for the taking, but you went native. You’ll be gone after the election if there is a hung Parliament, in which case it would be rightly so.

    • 168
      jgm2 says:

      ‘Big Society’?

      What a load of shit.

      • 173
      • 179
        City of Vice says:


        Big society? Trendy vicar bullshit.

        It is said that Generals usually make the mistake of preparing to fight previous war, not the next one. Cameron has fallen into the same trap. He is fighting yesterdays elections.

        Due to Labour’s corruption and incompetence, the challenges facing the country are far more serious than ever before. Cameron and CCHQ insults our intelligence by failing to address these head on and instead giving us the Big Society crap.

      • 183
        Choose_your_staff_more_wisely says:

        I agree with above comments about Cameron’s advisors not having a good idea between them (how could they after going through the British education system?)

        A better slogan would imply the empowerment of the person as opposed to an all powerful state.

        How about more “people power” and less “state power”?

        • 193
          Mr Plum says:

          I suppose at least they have one newish idea, labour have none and the libs just recycle old 1970′s ones.
          My interpretation of it is that they are trying to get people to rely less on the state, most tory supporters already do this. The message is too complex for Labour voters to understand

        • 195
          City of Vice says:

          Quite so. ‘Big’ anything is generally bad when promoted by a politician.

          I guess they Dave and his handlers felt the need for him to get all touchy feely and ‘progressive’ on us to counter the Eton / Bullingdon / rich boy jibes.
          ‘Big’ mistake.

          Dave and CCHQ have failed to appreciate is that outside of the chattering classes, most people don’t give a shit about Cameron’s background. If we did, Clegg’s stock would not have risen so sharply in the polls. The electorate is more mature than they give us credit for.

          We want the country’s finances sorted, immigration brought under control, criminals and bent politicians properly punished and such like. In short, we want competence and integrity in dealing with the big issues. We don’t really care what school you went to or what your Dad did for a living.

          What we don’t need is a fucking trendy vicar!

    • 197
      Hugh Janus says:

      This is the man who applauded the Grinning Chimp as he left the Commons to spend more time with his bank account.

      ‘Gone native’ just about sums it up.

    • 218
      Anonymous says:

      Fear ye not – Dave’s planting a tree for every baby born in Britain. That’s a vote winner for me!

  49. 176

    Bad design that. Using their colours and including a negative. The brain tends to ignore negatives.

    Strange as it may sound that film is more likely to induce a desire to vote labour. The message is overwhelmed by the subliminals.

    • 243
      D L George says:


      That’s the sort of demographic psychology voodoo used by TV companies making programs for ‘everyone’. It’s why modern sci-fi’s have so much soap.

      You’d need to have someone on a very high medication to see that vid and think “Wow, I’ll vote vote Labour”. Either that or they’re a total masochist.

  50. 189
    I might come back says:

    Has the BBC given reasons why it dropped it’s “Recommended” feature on “Have Your Say”?
    First time I’ve been on it for ages and it seems to be hijacked by the brainless, socialists and commies.

    • 199
      Catflap says:

      I was gobsmacked to see a B&P election broadcast on BBC1 yesterday.
      I bet there was pulling of hair and gnashing of teeth at broadcasting house when that was going out.

      • 209

        It was crap though – badly lit, poorly framed and generally not a professional production. I wondered if the BBC had deliberately degraded the quality, but watched it again on C4 and it was the same.

        I liked the Elgar, though – any party that plays Nimrod gets my vote.

    • 204

      “Socialism” is imposed whilst “recommended” suggests free will. Hence the tendency for the claptrap to be voted down, and ergo the Beeb’s decommissioning of the “like it” feature.

  51. 198
    The Sleeper says:

    O/T…Do any of you whizz kids know why Guido’s site keeps crashing my Firefox?

    No other site does this..and it’s doing my head in!

    • 210

      Does it to me sometimes too, but only on articles with lots (>700 or so) of comments.

      I’ve got NoScript installed, and disallowing YouTube content normally fixes it, but not always. NoScript also blocks the ads – well worth a try and it’s free (as in beer)!

  52. 201
    Eileen Critchley says:

    ‘The political system’ is the issue.

  53. 211
    Phil's Tampon says:

    The British Civil Servant who produced a memo suggesting that the Grand Caliph of Jerusalum on his visit to the UK should open a bacon processing plant, followed by a beer tasting at a local brewery and then signing cartoons depicting the prophet Mohamed (blessed be his name) wearing a turban in the shape of a bomb has just been executed as a compromise to the religion of peace.

    Sums it all up.

  54. 239
    No Balls after May 6th says:

    There seems to be no moderation on comments here:
    Tell Balls what to do with it!

Seen Elsewhere

Cocaine Conservatives | Standard
Jezza Browne Responds to LibDem Haters | LibDem Voice
Why Britain Needs to Leave the EU | Douglas Carswell
Literally No One is Watching London Live | MediaGuido
Who Tells Ed When He’s Wrong? | Speccie
Hands Off Our Cojones, Mr Clegg | Laura Perrins
London Live Averaging Just 2,400 Viewers | Forbes
Ed’s Constitutional Failure | ConHome
UKIP Poster Girl’s Naked Photos | Sun
Miliband’s Radical Old Labour Agenda | Fraser Nelson
Meet Team Miliband | Dan Hodges

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads