Think JGM2 is the winner that is publishable in a family blog:
There once was an MP from Fife
Who was always afraid for his life
To questions of competence
At his own Party Conference
He preferred to just hide ‘hind his wife
So if JGM could emails Guido their postal address a copy of the book “Crap MPs” will be sent to you. Win with Guido!
BBC Bias Investigation Collars Basil Brush – The Sun
Drug Cartels Say “Ban Mephedrone!” – ASI Blog
Boot-Boy Tebbit Chases the Dragon – Telegraph
Can Gordon Brown Handle the Real World, Honestly? – Times
Labour’s Brave New Strategy - Dizzy
Mephedrone: Dealing with the Facts – ASI blog
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Nick Clegg said…
“Charlie Whelan and Lord Ashcroft are exactly the same. One is the baron of the trade unions, and the other one is the baron of Belize. Both are bankrolling political parties, both are trying to buy seats.”
+ Crude (June)
As of 16 Mar 2010
-Gilts (Mar)
As of 26 Feb 2010
Flat – No Positions
As of 23 Feb 2010 +30.81%
Shit,it wasn’t me.
But at least I ‘m FIRST FIRST FIRST
Not sucking my thumb. it’s been up Obama’s arse.
Hurray. Free stuff. Thanks Guido.
I thought my number 267 was better but it was moderated for ages – I have no idea what the trigger word would have been.
Anyway address is…
That 267 again..
With the UK’s economy sh*t
And the country being driven to p*t
Brown sought refuge instead
In his own fuc*ed up head
And his endless su*ply of fresh sn*t
@JGM2,
I believe that the moderation would be because of the adjective in the 2nd line that describes operating a personal motorised method of personal transport.
Thankyou.
Don’t tell him Pike!
Financial misconduct = Conservatives
TORTURE + WAR + ILLEGAL OCCUPATION = NEW LABOUR
If elected we will definitely send more troops to Afghanistan.
you are top boy’s bitch gideon.
you will do as you are fucking told.
Climatic finds a noun!
or is it Dave “I’m proud to call myself a zionist” who cant get his facts rights right on Muslim schools.
That’s the risk of listening to Israelite twats like Michael Gove.
The substantive point – that these schools are run by people with connections to Muslim nutters still holds true.
No it doesn’t
What fkg facts do you disagree with cun.t features.
The Muslim Vickey Pollard outfit Hiz BUT Tahrir have used a front charity to set up a school to push their agenda.
I bet you Muzziy supporting scum would be up in arms if the BNP set up a charity to establish a school and Nick Griffins wife was on the govenors board to push to take back the country, before it turns into fleapitistan on sea
The religion of Islam is open to all.
The exit isn’t though. They thought of that one.
And if we execute you afterwards you will go to paradise. Islam is open to all.
Are there no Muslim twats then?
Yes. But a lot of them are mutilated for cultural reasons.
I’m The Great Clunking First
dam i fuckin missed it
This is a family blog???? Blimey.
After the 10om watershed, yes.
I guess this is the Friday Caption contest now.
So here goes
Subo shows Gordon how to suck ones thumb, without biting the nail, she reminds him it is the same exercise as when he gives Mandy or Blair a blowjob.
Gordon always spits says thanks Subo can you please hurry up and sell some records in it all fucking started in America, so we can lower our Tax grab on Scotland. Your Hoonree depends on it. Go Subo Go
That’s the Mc*nt tartan behind Bunty Boyle.
The Attorney General’s former cleaner is charged with immigration offences. Baroness Scotland and her cleaner need a limerick too!
Will the good Baroness be brought to court as a witness?
Imagine if someone had come up with an idea for a plot for a comedy where a minister is charged for breaking a law she brought in…hang on isn’t that what Patrician Scotland had done.
That must mean that the Baroness saw a dodgy passprt, I think the charge opens up a charge on the Baroness. Happy days resignation is too good for Nu Labour and their communistas
Let’s hope her slave decides to plead not guilty so that we may have the full story and, better still, some serious challenge of the version provided by the (ig)noble baroness.
Methinks there is still some mileage in this…..
O/T
PRE-BUDGET REPORT PREVIEW: Darling’s buds for May
http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/yb/138307267
The Government admitted last week that Chancellor Alistair Darling’s pre-Budget report will include a series of tax rises but where will the increases be implemented and who will be paying more?
The 2009 Queen’s speech included proposals for a bill that would pledge to halve the national deficit from around pound 175bn to pound 85bn. At a briefing before the speech, First Minister Lord Mandelson said: “We will rebalance the public finances over the medium term and we will cut our cloth accordingly. Of course, there will be changes in tax and public spending, so much is obvious.
“But when, how and on what basis in relation to which areas of Government expenditure is something that the Government will address initially in the pre-Budget report and again after the election.”
Killik & Co head of financial planning Malcolm Cuthbert says: “The Government will try to spin the positive in the pre-Budget report but promising to halve the deficit is huge – to do that you will have to put up a lot of taxes to get anywhere near that figure.”
But the Government’s need to raise billions in extra tax revenue is set against a backdrop of a general election in the first half of next year……………..
We’ll just have to lie our way through things.
It seems to have worked well thus far.
If elected we will definitely increase taxes, especially on those least able to afford them.
I thought I already did that when I doubled the 10% tax on the poorest. You’re just copying my policies.
Which makes a change.
Then, with the money I saved I doubled the inheritance tax threshold so that rich people could leave their kids more money.
‘Cos it’s the right thing to do.
Vote Labour.
Those will seem like happy days.
The poor and middle class will pay.
It’s what they’re for.
we will take an extra £10 per week off you But we will give you an extra £30 in benefits ! Labour Screwing the workers so you dont have to bother !
WTF is a NewLabour promise anyway, even if did come from the Queen’s blessed lips? When they say half the deficit – they probably mean double it. If they use Gordon’s calculating methods they might even manage a quadruple.
Good limerick but did not address Guido’s brief – to describe what was happening when that pic was taken at PMQ’s. not that I am bitter, oh no, grumble grumble……
That would be #267 or #144. There was no limit on entries. I was in a rhyming kind of mood.
Fair enough JGM2. Much respec’. And I enjoy your blog contributions which do much to offset the sea of crap we have to wade through to find the odd nugget of sense or wit chez Guido.
jgm2’s comments are generally bilge.
They deserve credit only when recognising the real depths that await in the coming many years.
And the depths of Labour government fuckwittery in the previous 12 years that got us here. Don’t forget that MB. Stalker.
jgm2 = bilge pump
MB = Tory troll
Fair point but hardly any stuck to the brief.
I did you bastard, twice.
Should be like X factor.
Guido’s interns sort through the 600 odd entries and the final 20 are put through to the public vote. Open up a phone line Guido, you’ll make almost enough to cover the cost of the prize.
Fucking con……….where’s my book Fawkes??
Yeah. My briefs were completely sticky and look what I got for all my hard work and discomfort: sfa.
Typical.
For a consolation prize all the runners-up and everyone else in fact gets a copy of the full text of the book of good MP’s, reprinted here:
How comes I’m not in it and nor are any of my 349 comrades ??
Making a family friendly limerick about one of the vilest
creatures alive is immoral.
That WAS funny, wasn’t it?!
Well done!
I can picture the scene now, kids home from school, mum and dad back from work all sitting in front of a PC waiting for one of tat’s posts so they can discuss it around the dinner table.
What absolute cock.
Your winning answer has nothing to do with the image provided nor the context you gave to be followed.
You’re worse than Simon Cowell – boo, boo, boo.
It’s the new celebrity coulple SUGORD
Actually the Conservitudes are very quiet about the chaos the financial spivs have unleashed.
In any event the unions and working people cannot be blamed for this global crisis, that will grind on for years and years. It is the greed and incompetence of the financial spivs and their sorry bag carriers, isn’t it?
By the way how come with strong unions countries like Germany, France, Sweden and others have maintained vibrant manufacturing sectors?
Could it be something to do with the useless and effete management cadre in the UK. The product of its unpleasant public schools which produced nothing but affected wannabe aristos?
Isn’t it though.
Some things are worth repeating
I forgot to mention that actually the UK is the 6th largest manufacturer in the world and slightly ahead of France as it happens. Sorry to waste your time. I waste my own.
Guido,
Your such a TWAT, you berate MPs (quite rightly too) for going back on their word or having double standards.
Now you are doing the same thing – FFS you said the limerick should be about the chuffing picture and then award to some shit that was about no such thing. WTF are you up to, you double standard wazzok.
Don’t be so disappointed the book isn’t that good.
It’s not that I’m disaapointed – I could have put shit together, but I spent four hours trying to come up with a rhyme for ‘grimacingjockfuckwit’, couldn’t come with anything and felt it only right to withdraw from the competition. If I’d realised Guido was going to make it up as he went along I’d have bundled some shit together and crossed my fingers.
WAAAAAAAAAAA, WAAAAAAAAAAAH, IT’S NOT FAIR!
rivetting
In a Democracy WE should get to choose the winner !
Or we could send them to McMental and let him pick one !
“…hide ‘hind his wife”?
You can’t just go round chopping of parts of words to make them fit in poems.
I demand a recount and my ‘eserved book.
That’s poetic license.These will soon be issued by your local council subject to a sliding scale of fees depending on the toxicity of your remissions.
It will depend on your voting preference, actually.
Scotland’s cleaner gets charged but Scotland gets away with it.And yet another non publicly elected black “diversity” Baroness appears;Usha Prashar of Runnymede,asking questions at the Iraq Inquiry.Wasn’t she behind the eight points made by the Runnymede Trust on Islamophobia designed to stifle debate on Islam in the West?The spirit of the Magna Carta?Limericks on the Baronesses;these two plus Amos, Uddin,andWhitaker would be good to draw attention to this dodgy unelected elitist arm of New Labour.
Ah now there I agree, Limerick praise-singing for Udders, Scrotes and the rest of the thieving swine – a welcome diversion from unremitting Mcruined grimness.
Udders and Scrotes
Got us by the throats
Hang ‘em, shoot ‘em
Little porkers in their pokes
etc
Off Topic:
So we have a highly unequal extradition treaty with the USA that Alan Johnson has decided he can wash his hands of – not quite the avuncular happy-chappy type are we now Alan? Labour Party Leadership chances falling by the minute.
Who exactly determined the terms of this treaty? Was it Blair alone or were there other 3rd rate types in the Home Office playing their part?
To include Bliar amongst the third-raters is an insult – to all dedicated third-raters everywhere.
With the newscasts revisiting Blix
And the floods and Dubai in the mix
This Limerick game
With a winner so lame
Makes us shout, Guido Fawkes: “It’s a Fix!”
I Demand A Re Count !
I Lost An Hour At Work Posting Mine !
May 6th 2010?
He’s Broon, the Big Feartie, he’ll rise at 6.30
And Buckingham Palace he’ll view
He’ll stand in the yard as they’re changing the guard
Til the queen cries,
“I’m not seeing you!”
“You’re Jonah, you’re cursed and my luck has got worse
Since you darkened the days of my life.”
Jonah Broon, the Big Feartie from Fife!
Or you can order yourself a copy of this for the price of 5 Second-Class stamps (bargain):
This work is an A5 60-page booklet that charts the criminals and rogues in British politics. In the booklet you will find irrefutable evidence of criminal and roguish M.P.s, councillors and other political party affiliates that is supported by website addresses linking to a national newspaper or media source that carried the story. There are a staggering 341 separate entries charting the criminals and rogues in New Labour, Conservatives, Liberal Democrats, UKIP -and yes, even the Scottish National Party.
This booklet is an absolute must for all those citizens who demand the truth before deciding on whom, or for what party, to vote.
http://lastingthought.wordpress.com/titles/citizenshandbook/
There was an old PM from Fife
Who taxed all the days of his life
When asked why he did it
He replied it’s fer quids ‘n it!
I just love taxes, trouble and strife
Is the one on the left Prescott in a wig? Sure looks like him.
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